Dogs in Beketches- Parshat Bo 2026 5786

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 23^rd 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 14 5^th of Shvat 5786

 

Parshat Bo

 Dogs in Beketches

 

Chase is my wife's dog. My cousins were sick of her. I wasn't home a lot. We have an empty nest now. All the kids are out. There was a war going on.  Maybe it's still going on. She barks less than I do, so it's kind of like having me at home. So we took her. When I was a kid my father used to have a dog. It lasted until my mother was pregnant with Rivky. He was then given an ultimatum Brandy or the baby. My mother was a New Yorker. They don't do dogs. And thus Brandy was history. I was dogless. I was fine with that. We had kids. Who needs a dog? Until now. Now we have Chase. And to be honest, I kind of like her.

 

See, when I come home these days from my touring weeks in Yerushalayim, Chase is there. She's excited. She barks. She jumps on me. She's excited. I don't think I've gotten a kabalas panim reception like that since my wedding day when I walked into the hall. My kids just sat on the couch and didn't even look up from whatever they were doing. My wife asked me to take out the garbage. But Chase? I was like Mashiach ben Dovid walking through the door. I feel the love.

 

Now I know that's too yeshivish. In fact it might even be considered anti-or the opposite of yeshivish to have a dog. Although I have heard that the Netziv had a poodle, I don't know if that's true or not. Chat GPT says it isn't, if you were about to check… But that was a sign of aristocracy or something and Slobodka, gadlus ha'adam, who knows? It sounds good…

 

But certainly we find in Chazal that Kayin was given a dog, the first pet ever, by Hashem as his sign and to protect him from anyone that would try to get him. Not that Chase who's a big scaredy… ummm…dog… and who hides when there's thunder and freaks out when there were missile sirens would do much to protect him or me. Although she does hate cats and barks at them to get them off our porch. As well we find the midrash tells us that Yaakov Avinu had a lot of dogs, maybe hundreds to help him watch all of the sheep and goats he got from Lavan. Imaginably Dovid did and probably Moshe did as well. It's shepherd thing. And I always felt like a shepherd of sorts. But the truth is Moshe, Dovid and Yaakov probably wouldn't have been accepted into most yeshivish yeshivas today anyways.

 

There's a great joke I heard the other week, about this kid from a frum home who went "off the derech". He comes home and his mother sees him and asks him where his yarmulka is. He tells her that he doesn't do that anymore. She then sees him eating a sandwich from a non-kosher restaurant. What is this, she ask him. Once again, he tells her, that he doesn't keep kosher anymore. It's not for him. On Shabbos he's on the phone texting and his mother is in shock.

"What's with you Yankeleh? It's Shabbos today! Why are you on the phone?"

 He finally gives his mother one last sigh and tells her that he doesn't believe in that stuff any more and she should really give up. But she's not ready she turns to him and asks him one last question.

"Let me ask you Yankeleh… when you see a dog do you still say 'u'lchol bnai Yisrael lo yechratz kelev l'shono!!'"

OK… so you haven't totally lost it yet…

Yeah… That's pretty much the matziv today…

 

No for those of you non-yeshivish readers of mine. That above quoted verse is in this week's Torah portion. It is the verse that tells us that on the night when the Egyptian's first-born die by the last plague, no dog will be bark or wag it's tongue to any of the Children of Israel. This of course became a segula for anyone that sees a dog or has dog-a-phobia, meaning the average frum person, to silence any dogs and protect them from them eternally. I don't know if it works, but it became one of those frum things you just do, like shukkling while davening, eating gefilte fish, spitting three times to ward off ayin hara or knocking on wood, or wearing a red string. It's just stuff we do.

 

Yet, as I reviewed the parsha this week and came upon this verse it bothered me for the first time. What's with the dog barking thing when we leave Egypt. Who cares? I know that the commentaries all discuss that dogs bark at the sign or angel of death and this was a sign there would be no death by the Jews. But really? That's the issue. What's even more fascinating is that this seems to be a miraculous thing. They should've barked. In fact the Torah tells us specifically that this is the last sign we will be redeemed

 

"in order to differentiate between the Children of Israel and the Egyptians"

 

I don't understand. Was drinking water while the Egyptians had blood out of the same glass not enough of a clue that we were different? No frogs in our bathtubs and ovens, no lice, no wild animals in their houses, none of their cattle die. Why do we need the no-dog-barking-thing? And if we still weren't sure that we're different than the Egyptians, then what makes Hashem think that the silent dog thing would help and convince us? Good question, right? How come you never asked it before?

 

As I pondered that question, I began to look at the verses that preceded it and that led to this sign. Hashem tells Moshe to please ask the Jewish people to do Him a favor. He wants us to go to the Egyptians and "borrow" from them their fancy vessels, their nice clothes, their gold, their silver, their Teslas, their bugaboos, their Rolexes and trinkets baubles and cool gadgets. Take it all. Clean 'em out. Why? Because Hashem had promised Avraham that we would leave rich. We'd leave with great bounty. We'd be flying First Class not Economy. So He knows that we want to just leave and get out already, we've been there about 210 years long enough already. But if we don't mind just doing this for Him, so He could keep His word to Avraham, He would really appreciate it.

 

We, of course, oblige Hashem. What we wouldn't do for our God, I tell you… We go door to door and pile it all up. It's happy days in Egypt. Merry Pesach Ho Ho Ho…. It's a Jewish Lives Matter Parade without the broken windows or need to riot. It's Socialism. It's Bernie Sanders dream. What's yours is mine, thank you. What is this all about? What is the need to do this? If Hashem just wanted us to leave rich, why couldn't he just have us win the lotto. Just poof us some new Bitcoin out of the air. The truth is, our sages tell us all of the booty that we walked out of Egypt wasn't even really the prize. We got ten times more at least by the splitting of the Sea. And we didn't even have to shlep it there with us. Hashem arranged that the Egyptians should shlep it there for us. So what's with this last minute pre-boarding on the Exodus flight Captain's request? And why is this connected to the immediately followed by miracle/sign that we are different than the Egyptians dog barking-less sign?

 

See, now the problem with this question asking thing is that it gets deeper and deeper. Hafoch bah v'ahfoch bah. I noticed something fascinating as well about what they actually "borrowed" or asked from the Egyptians. See, if one looks at the verse (12:35) at the end of the parsha it tells us they asked for gold and silver vessels and their clothing. However back in the command right over here (11:2) before the dog thing, Hashem only tells Moshe to tell them ask for the gold and silver. He doesn't mention the clothing. It seems He doesn't need their beketches…😊 Yet, even more fascinating, at the beginning of this entire story back in Shemos, (3:22) by the burning bush, Hashem tells Moshe that the Jewish people will ask and get their gold and silver vessels and their clothing! So does He want their beketches? Doesn't He? If He does why doesn't He command it? It's strange, isn't it?

 As well, what makes this even more perplexing is that the famous Chazal tell us that we left mitzryaim because we didn't adopt their language, their names and their clothing! So why are we taking it now, even though we weren't even officially seemingly commanded to take them?

 

The answer I believe really goes back to what all of this whole story is all about. It's the most basic of questions. It's the question then and of course it's the question now of how we get to the redemption. The question is what is this whole story about? If Hashem wanted us to be taken out, he could've just taken us out. If he wanted to punish the Egyptians, He could've just done that very easily. Stick em in a tunnel for a year or two and starve them. Is it about showing the world that He runs it and controls it? Then just get up and reveal Yourself to them. What's this whole year process all about?

 

The answer is though is that this process is about creating a Jewish nation that are the First-born of Hashem. That we are leaders. Not followers. That we're the masters. Not the dog, not Chase, just looking back and seeing where the world thinks we should go and do. It's about silencing that "inner dog". Shutting up it's tongue that constantly wags in our heads and scares us from taking the mantel and leading the world to it's ultimate glory and bringing down the Shechina to the world.

 

The way that happens is by slowly extricating, like that rotting molar I had removed last night, from our mouth and our ears and our hearts that voice and bark that says we can't do it. That we're slaves of Pharaoh still. That we have to do what he says. That we can only leave when he tells us to leave. That we can't upset the natives or the United Nations. They're in charge. Not Hashem. We're not really his representatives. Sure He helps us and saves us and we have good yichus and protetkzia, but we're not really the First Borns of the King. We're like Moshe, just an adopted Hebrew that somehow made his way into the palace of Pharaoh. Cause we married his daughter Ivanka. Because Batya adopted us, I mean. But at the end of the day. We're slaves.

 

So Hashem sent us to school. To a Chareidi yeshiva without dogs. He bit by bit shows how we're better than the Egyptians. How bad stuff happens to them, but not to us. How we own the land and they don't. They're bit by bit, and lice bite and lions tiger bear bite and frog bite, bit by bit realizing that the country really isn't theirs. It's ours. We're the baal ha'bos. Because Hashem owns the entire world and He's given them over to our hands. This is perhaps one of the most essential things that Klal Yisrael needs. Because once we realize that, then we can understand that we have the power to go to Eretz Yisrael and do our job. Egypt has nothing left to offer us. We emptied it out. It's Gaza. We're the new Board of Peace controlling it. Controlling the world. Revealing the light of Hashem unabashedly and calling out His name with out fear or concern what they say. Rather we understand that we're wearing their clothes. Their beketches and signs of nobility belong to us. Thank You Donald for your big red tie, I'll take that, thank you…This is not something that Hashem could command us to do. It's something that we needed to discover and reveal ourselves.

 

See, by Makkas Chosech we're still sneaking around in the dark and checking out their cool stuff. We're shopping on Amazon or the Nile more accurately. We're watching them from our safe enclaves in our bathroom on Instagram or Youtube. We don't yet have the guts or appreciation of who we are and what we are capable of. But then we have light. They can't move and we're the only ones that can. They're in tunnels and we own the city. It's then Hashem tells Moshe that we're ready to graduate. We can now walk freely and tell them to give us everything that we want. And they're happy to do it. They now appreciate who we really are. And so we can take their clothing. Their symbols.

 

For 210 years if we would've taken their clothing, then we would just be trying to be like them. To try to fit in with them. To be classier and out Egypt them. Not anymore. There's no dogs barking in our heads that say that we need to be followers. We can put on their red ties, their beketches, and say we have emptied them all out of any Egyptian-keit. They're Hashem's clothing now. We'll use it to wrap our matzos in. We'll put them on our kids. Because they're ours. They're our dogs. And it's time to walk them and the whole world to Mashiach and redemption.

 

We're at an exciting point in the story of our redemption. Next week's parsha we leave Egypt. It's Parshat Beshalach. The parsha of how Pharaoh "Chase"d us out of Egypt. Yeah, like my dog. We don't call it Parshat Beshalach though. We call it Shabbos Shira. We don't name parshas after the biblical stories contained in it. Yisro isn't called Shabbos Torah and Teruma isn't called Shabbos Mishkan and Vayeira isn't called Shabbos Akeida. But Beshalach, Chase, gets a name change by klal Yisrael. Because we don't want to call the parsha "Chase". If the only reason we left Egypt is because Pharaoh chased us out, then we missed the boat. We're still answering to him. We only left with his permission. The song we would've sung would've been the "Star Spangled Egyptian Banner" and "God Bless Mitzrayim; the bBeautiful". We call the parsha and Shabbos Shira. We're singing to Hashem. May we this week, merit to finally sing that song with the whole world redeemed.

                                                           

Have a glorius Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" A hunt hot moyre far a shtekn un a ruech far tsitses - A dog is afraid of a stick, and a devil is afraid of tzitzit.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTThsH-DKYs&list=OLAK5uy_kGMqcsNI4f6fxRB5_i4oob-PD6ntXMhvI – Shwekey's latest Shabbos Drop -Shalosh Seudos- almost at the end of this cool release!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze4R4qmUBNo - A Bani Brak tasting tour? This is pretty cool and funny. I was glued to this… Check it out!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkrxAzGRdMo&list=RDHkrxAzGRdMo&start_radio=1    – Flying carpet- Baba Sali song from Thank You Hashem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyGMe4Hf9X4&list=RDyyGMe4Hf9X4&start_radio=1 – Yonatan Razel Live in Jerusalem singing Hatov Ki lo Chalu- gorgeous singing can't get out of my head…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oikMJk8Pivg&list=RDoikMJk8Pivg&start_radio=1 – Yeedle and Nemuel singing this beautiful Chupa song Bzeh Ha'Bayit

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

17. A public drinking facility built for Islamic charitable purposes is called

________

In which of the following options do the Islamic dynasties appear in the correct

chronological order?

A. Abbasid, Umayyad, Fatimid, Ayyubid.

B. Umayyad, Ayyubid, Abbasid, Fatimid.

C. Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, Ayyubid.

D. Abbasid, Fatimid, Ayyubid, Umayyad.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Final Redemption- Not- 370 BC- OK this week's column is probably one of the most mysterious and complicated. It's the prophecy Daniel got after the Lion's den miracle. He thought this was the big moment. 70 years of exile are up. It's time to come home. The final redemption will be here. Yet, he has a prophecy that it ain't happening. He miscalculated. We always do. We can never really figure the whole thing out.

See, Daniel assumed that just like the nation's sins are up in 70 years, the Jews is as well. And angel though tells him that he's mistaken. When a Jew sins it's a lot worse. We're like the engine and transmission of the car. They're alot more to fix then the other minor parts that the others nations play in the master plan of the world. We need at least 490 years to atone. 70 times 70 and even then, if we don't truly repent then it won't be over for 2300 years. That's a long time. The question is when that starts and ends. And this is where the fun all starts. It's this chapter of Daniel that all the rabbis and commentaries suggest that we shouldn't attempt to figure out. Although they all do offer suggestions, fascinatingly enough very close to their own eras. The Ramban, Abarbanel and Ralbag as well later commentaries are all busy giving explanations of when this should happen.

Yet it seems all of those predictions have sadly not come to pass. Hashem wants us to long for it. To want it. To discuss it. It's that longing alone that leads to the return of Ezra coming up. The period of Darius one year reign, ends with this prophecy. Next week we begin the return of Ezra with Cyrus's Koresh's proclamation. May it herald in our geula as well.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE DOG JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

The Rosenberg family dog had been deaf and blind for years. When she started to suffer painful tumors, it was time to put her down. Mrs. Rosenberg gently tried to explain this to her seven-year-old son Moishie, who was taking this all pretty hard. Moishie asked if “Jazzy” would go to heaven.

“Well I’m not 100 percent sure that dogs go to heaven,” said Mrs. Rosenberg, “But if they do, then I’m sure she would be healthy again and able to do her favorite thing: chase cats.”

Moishie thought about that for a minute, then said, "So dog heaven must be the same as cat hell."

 

A dog named Moishe is so smart that his master, Chaim Yankel, decides to send him to college. Home for vacation, Chaim Yankel asks him how college is going.

"Well," says Moishe the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."

"Really!" says Chaim Yankel. "Say something in a foreign language."

Moishe the dog says, "Meow!"?

 

Abe and Irv were neighbors in a Florida retirement community, and both proud pet owners.

“My dog is so smart,” Abe bragged, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He brings the kid his tip and then brings me the paper, along with my morning medicine.”

“I know,” said Irv.

“How could you know?” asked Abe.

“Because my dog told me.”

 

Bella wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog.

So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog. She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?" They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal. Only the dog is dead.

"Oh, my gosh, they say, we killed this woman's dog. What are we going to do?"

Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a cocker spaniel. They're common dogs. There's a pet shop across the street from the airport. We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex. She'll never know the difference."

They bring the woman the other dog but she says, "That's not my dog."

Laughingly and making light of it they say, "What do you mean that's not your dog?"

To which she responds, "My dog's dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it."

 

A guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. He tells the bartender, “I got a Jewish dog named Moishe. He’s so smart he actually talks. Can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''

''Dogs can't talk, pal,” replied the bartender, “but if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, well, let’s just say you don’t wanna find out.''

''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – what is on top of a house?''

''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''

''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – how does sandpaper feel?''

''Ruff!"

''What the heck you tryin' to pull, mister?'' said the bartender.

''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question. Okay, Moishe, tell me – who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''

"Ruth."

The bartender had enough and picked up the guy and his dog and threw them onto the sidewalk outside of the bar.

Moishe stands up and looks at his owner. "Wow. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

 

Little Moishie Epstein’s dog Benji was sick and the boy was afraid that his dad would come back from the bet with bad news.

As his dad stepped through the door with Benji in his carrier, Moishie rushed to find out what the vet had said.

"I'm afraid it's not good news, son," said his father. "The vet thinks Benji's only got another three weeks or so to live."

Hearing this, Moishie burst into tears.

"But Benji wouldn't want you to be sad," said the father, putting a comforting arm around Moishie's shoulder. "He'd want you to remember all the good times you had together."

Moishie rubbed his eyes. "Can we give Benji a funeral?"

"Sure we can," said his father.

"Can I invite all my friends?"

"Of course you can."

"And can we have cake and ice-cream?"

"Sure, you can have whatever you want."

"Dad," said Moishie, "can we kill Benji today?"

 

Yankel the Jewish dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of beef please'.

The barman says, 'Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!'

*******************************

The answer to this week's question is C–When I took the course I reviewed all the Arabic Muslim stuff. But it's been about 15 years or so now, I deleted a lot of this information. I had no room for Sabil left in my mind. Although when I saw the correct answer I did remember it. The second part I also really don't remember well, but I did remember that Ayubbim were he last ones. So that knocked it down to two. And hen I remembered the Ummayads were before the Abbasid which were later. So I actually got that one right! So it's a 50/50 on that one and now I can delete it from my memory again, cause no one really cares. And the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 12 points and the MOT having 5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

A Clothes Call- Parshat Vayeishev- Chanuka Part I 5785 2024

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

December 20^th 2024 -Volume 14 Issue 8 19^th of Kislev 5785

 

Parshat Vayeishev

 

A Clothes Call

 

I think it’s one of the most eye-opening sights that my tourists experience when I take them to the Army bases. It’s not the amazing tanks and D9s. It’s not the bullets they pick off the floor or the shells that they sign, wishing all the best to Hamas or Hezbollah. It’s not even the guns the soldiers let them hold, or the cool ski-masks they wear as they drive off into the night into Gaza to do the Lord’s work after knocking down that delicious BBQ we just made them and the fiery words of inspiration to burn and kill everything that has a pulse that Rabbi Schwartz just gave them. Do you know what blows their mind the most? It’s the tzitzis hanging down from their uniforms. It’s the so many with payos, with Yarmulkas and Kippas, and with what I would say is even a yeshivishe look to them. That image, I think, more than any other, really gives a whole new perspective on the army of Israel and much of the fallacy of the fake-media that goes around.

 

Yes, despite what the press may say and write, Chareidim are serving. Not only are they serving but they are changing the face of the army. I recently read an article written by a secular left-wing attorney who is in fact attempting to gain support to pass a law that Chareidim should be exempt from service because in his words “they will take over the army and our children will no longer have the freedoms to be secular”. He brings proof to this assertion from all the tzitzis flapping around on many, if not most, “chiloni” soldiers. Of the so many of them that are coming into the army with bright secular futures only to find religion. To find Hashem. To view the role that they have been forcibly drafted into, not as one that is as much as about serving and protecting their country. Rather they amazingly discover and reveal that they are fighting for Hashem, for Klal Yisrael, for the honor of the Jewish people. For a legacy that they have never really learned about and a birthright that was perhaps even stolen from them.

 

Much like Yaakov Avinu, these soldiers put on the “stolen” clothing of Esau, of war, of battle, and they have made them their own. They put tzitzis on them. They’re not Yaakov who is fighting against the descendants of Esau and Yishmael. They are Yisrael who is fighting a spiritual battle against those evil angels of those nations. They’re fighting and they’re winning. But the battle started when they put on those uniforms. When they realized that the uniforms they were wearing were incomplete. They didn’t represent the full story. The war they were fighting had strings attached to them. And thus they put them on their uniform and started to incorporate the mitzvos they represent into their lives.

 

 Fascinatingly enough that same battle and victory happens when the same children of Yaakov but from the other end of the spectrum also change their clothing. The ones that have been sitting in the tents of Torah all their lives as well change their black hats and jackets to uniforms that are green. They as well perhaps until now never saw their role as being more than influencing the success of our battle from the safer (sefer?!) confines of the Beit Midrash. The battlefield where they are waging of Abaya and Rava on the pages of Talmud was going to be enough to determine our victory and protect those out there doing the other perhaps more beautiful and violent aspect of the job. Of the war. Of the eradication of Evil and the return of the nation to our borders. But October 7^th and the past year changed that.

 

For many of them, today, as well understood or perhaps felt that they needed to connect more. Something inside of the many that I’ve talked who, perhaps were even learning shtark, felt that they couldn’t sit back while their brothers fought and put their lives on the line, and they weren’t there by their side. So they changed their uniform. They put on the green. They took the sword of Esau as well and they’ve become modern day Maccabees. Maccabees who were the Kohanim. The teachers of Klal Yisrael. The Rabbis. They felt that the way that would be best to teach those lessons during this war was to stand as one on the battlefield and turn it into their new Beit Midrash. Their new shiur room. To make sure there are shuls that don’t only have minyan each day, but that have the Kol Torah resounding from the tunnels in Gaza, their battle tents and occupied buildings.

 

There was a call and a cry that was going through the camp of “Mi La’Hashem Eilai”- Who is for Hashem join me, that they couldn’t ignore. That call that goes out and started with the tribe of Levi- yes that same tribe that is identified by the Rambam and oft quoted, as referring to anyone who dedicates their entire life to the study of Torah. It was first resounded after the sin of the Golden Calf 3300 years ago. The bochrim of the tribe of Levi, all put on uniforms with green tzitzis that 17^th of Tamuz morning. They closed their gemaras and they picked up guns and went out to destroy the evil. It’s that same call that is resounding in the hearts of the so many of that same tribe today, that are now taking up those same guns, but this time use them to kill out our modern-day enemies and avenge the nation of Hashem. And in doing so they uplift all those that are in that army with that zealous fire that is bringing the day of Hashem to its conclusion.

 

Now, as those of you readers who know me, appreciate, I hope, that I’m not the politically correct Rabbi, and this is not that politically correct weekly Parsha E-Mail. Sorry that guy couldn’t come today. Download Aish.com or some other nice cute vort if that’s what your looking for. Or at least a shorter one, which shouldn’t be too hard to find…😊.  So what I’m going to write and say next really isn’t because I’m trying to make myself PC. The point of the above message is not that Chareidim should serve. That they have an obligation to serve. That they should feel guilty about not serving. That they should share the burden. Yadda yadda blah blah blah… There are Rabbis far bigger and greater than me that have expressed their opinions about this subject and whether I agree or disagree is really irrelevant. They’re right. I’m wrong. I’m smart enough to know and believe that’s true, despite what I think. The Torah tells us that when they say “right”and I think “left”. I have a mitzva to listen to them. So I do. I’m good with that. I may not agree, but I’m fine with accepting that my limited and tainted brain doesn’t see things the right way.

 

Personally, in case you were curious, I don’t think that they should serve or be drafted if they don’t want to. I believe that the power of Torah is real. It’s just as powerful and as essential as the guns, tanks and bombs that are being used to fight. Truth be told, I really am quite sick of everyone serving and if it was up to me this war would’ve been over five minutes after it started with the push of a few buttons. And to really be honest and not PC, I think it’s murder everyday that we don’t push those buttons.  All of the Jewish blood that has been spilled is because we don’t have the faith, temerity, guts and maybe even worse the sense of love and caring for the value of the lives of our brothers, sisters and children to realize that even saving one of our children is worth wiping out the entire Middle East. But that’s just me. And who knows since no other Rabbis are saying it I’m probably wrong…

 

But anyways, my point isn’t about Chareidim serving. I think all of that noise is just sinas chinam, and in fact the tools of the Satan and Chamas. On both sides of the coin, by the way. The sides that say they need to serve and the sides that say it prohibited to and that if they do, they won’t or shouldn’t get married and they will become non-religious. They’re all just noise. Noise that the media plays up, because that’s what pays for the commercials and their salaries. We would all do a lot better to just worry about ourselves and our own avoda here.

 

So what is this E-Mail about? The parsha of course. Couldn’t you tell? What’s the connect? Why, the uniforms, of course. The clothing. The dress. That’s what it’s always been about. It goes back to the beginning of time and if you pay attention clothesly- excuse the pun, you’ll see it’s the underpinning of everything in the parsha, our exile and of course ultimately our redemption.

 

Last week we concluded the story of Yaakov and Esau and with him the foundation of all our Patriarchs lives and work. The dream that he had of the angels going up and down the ladder which symbolized his avoda of galus; the purpose of his Exile, had come full circle and reached its culmination when he returned. He had lived with Lavan, raised up the sparks, the sheep, the tribes, he conquered Esau and even returned to Shechem and Beit El, where Hashem rises from him at the altar he built there. The ladder is complete. It is called El Beit El. There, Hashem (El), is on the top and on the bottom. The elevator works. Yet when he leaves it is time for his children, for us, to start that journey. It’s called Beit El again. It is from here once again that our story now begins. We need to be exiled, as he was, and do that same work and come back again. This time though it’s a national mandate. This is the journey we are on.

 

And thus this week begins with Yaakov wishing to sit b’shalva- in tranquility, yet the children’s exile begin and starts with Yosef’s coat. Yaakov gives him the colored extra garment and that causes jealousy and its downhill to Egypt from there. I think we kind of gloss over this detail and the jealousy of the brothers as it pertains to this coat. We do this because its hard to imagine a coat from their father causing so much hatred. As well it’s hard to wrap our heads around Yaakov’s reasoning to give this coat to Yosef. Doesn’t he chap that this is something that will cause strife? Or maybe he as well can’t imagine that a silly little coat would be something to kill or die for. There must be something deeper going on here. What’s up with the coat?

 

Now the truth is our entire parsha and in fact the entire Torah story of our exile has an underpinning message about clothing and coats. It starts with Adam and Eve in garden of Eden who after sinning realize that they’re naked. Which is cool to think about. Without sin. When we’re alone with Hashem. There’s no need for clothing. The birthday suit Hashem created us in perfect by itself. When we sin though Hashem gives them the first clothing in the history of mankind. They need these clothes because they are going into exile. You can’t go there it seems without clothes. Fascinatingly enough, following this story we have the story of Noach coming out of the Ark and as well he seems to get drunk and unclothed and there his son Shem and Yefet clothe him. Incidentally- or not, the granddaughter of Shem finds her way in this week’s parsha too! Our sages and Rashi tells us that she is none other than Tamar, the daughter-in-law/ mysterious clothed and disguised woman on the side of the road that Yehuda picks up and ultimately will be the grandmother of Mashiach. But we’ll get to that soon.

 

The clothing trail continues with Avraham sending Eliezer with clothing to gift to Rivkah and bring her back home to be the spouse of Yitzchak. Why does he send clothing? Because as we shall see, Rivkah will be the one that will start this whole process of Exile through clothing. When she first sees Yitzchak she falls off her camel and there too, the Torah tells us her takes a Tzi’if and covers up. That word and cover-up of Rivkah fascinatingly as well, the Midrash points out is all over the place with Tamar in our parsha. She takes her widow garments off and puts on a tz’if to hide herself and pretends to be a woman that Yehuda doesn’t recognize in order to trick him. Just like Rivka, by the way as well who will fool Yitzchak with clothing giving Esau’s clothing to Yaakov for the blessing. The Midrash notes that Rivka has twins that are Esau and Yaakov and as well Tamar has twins Peretz and Zarach. The two are connected with clothing, with trickery and with twins. Yet whereas Rivkah’s act of the clothing switch begins the exile of Yaakov. Tamar’s clothing switch begins the seeds of redemption with the birth of the grandfather of Mashiach.

 

Yaakov’s clothing switch that he tricked his father ends with Yaakov’s return from Galus last week and the building of the altar to Hashem. Yet it also concludes and reaches its fruition with a small little story. A story of trickery as well. A story of illicit relationship and anger and revenge of the abuse of Dina. Yet in one minor aftermath of that story the Torah tells us that Yaakov’s response before building that altar to Hashem and experiencing the redemption is that not only to do the children of Yaakov need to get rid of all the idols that they had taken from Shechem, but they need to change their clothing! If we want to be redeemed. If we want to return to Eretz Yisrael, we need to remove the clothing of our exile. The clothing of sin. Of trickery.

 

I’ll admit that many of these signs seem subtle, yet in parshas Vayeishev, this week, the subtlety is all gone. It starts off with the clothing that Yaakov makes for Yosef in that cloak. According to the Yerushalmi (at the end of the blessings of Yaakov to Yosef in Vayechi) that cloak was in fact the very garment that Hashem gave Adam. It’s the cloak of galus. It’s the protection from the elements. The amazing sefer Otzar Nefla’os Ha’Torah suggests that if that is the case, then it would explain why Yaakov never bought the story of a wild animal eating up Yosef. For one of the properties that this coat had was that animals were drawn and scared of it. It was that cloak that Noach wore and how the animals all were drawn to him. It was the one that Shem had, that Nimrod had, and that were Esau’s treasured garments that Rivkah dressed Yaakov up in. It’s the cloak of exile and redemption. That’s something to be jealous of… Yaakov understood spiritually that his children would need to be exiled as he was. Yosef’s role was to lead us out from there. He needed protection from his brothers and thus Yaakov gave him that cloak.

 

The story continues with clothing being taken off and put on. Again and again and again… The brothers remove Yosef’s coat. Ever think about that? He’s mamash naked in that pit. He gets dressed up by the Yishmaelites. He becomes a servant in the house of Potiphar and guess what? He gets into trouble wearing those replacement Egyptian clothing that he removes and leaves in the hand of Potiphar’s wife.

 

Without his clothing on he looks in the mirror and he sees his father’s face. He remembers the clothing and cloak of galus that was stripped of him that was meant to protect him. That perhaps he flaunted too much. He had liked that galus coat. That beketcheh that his zaydies wore. The new Egyptian clothing become the witness against him. He thus stripped them off and left them behind. Next week the story will continue with Yosef being given new clothes to be brought before Pharaoh. He will become elevated more and more, in nicer and fancier Galus clothing. He will become unrecognizable. The clothing have hidden him. The exile had swallowed him.

 

Back in Israel as well, the clothing saga doesn’t end. Reuvein rips his clothing. Yaakov rips his clothing. Yehuda hands over his clothing to Tamar. His royal ones. His petil,- same word for tzitzis, as well as his signet ring and staff. When Yosef’s brothers get tricked by the garments of Yosef as he’s dressed up like a viceroy and threatens to take Binyamin from them, they all rip their garments. Everybody is pretty much naked and clothing-less all over the place here. Naked- arum, like the lying tricky snake in the garden of Eden. Unclothed and vulnerable like Adam and Chava before they fell, before Hashem clothed them in those kosnos ohr- those garments of skin, or as Rebbi Meir suggest the garments of light.

 

When Yosef finally reveals himself to his brothers and sends them back to their father to bring him back to Egypt, do you know what he sends them with? Chalifos smalot- new clothing. To Binyamin he even gives more. From Binyamin will come the first King of Israel. That King, Shaul, will have to hand the scepter over to Yehudah. To King David. Dovid will be given armor and soldier uniforms by Shaul to fight against Golyas. But Dovid doesn’t need them. He takes them off. He is a descendant of Tamar, of Yehuda, of Rus (who as well has her own clothing and tricking saga).

 

Dovid is the next chain before Mashiach. The name Adam, our sages tells us, is Adam, Dovid and Mashiach. Like Yehuda, Dovid admits his sins. He falls and rises. And at the end of his life, his clothing doesn’t keep him warm. His kingship will fall. He will have a daughter Tamar. She will have a ketonet passim as well. The only other person in the entire Tanach by the way. Yet unlike her namesake, she will be abused and never redeemed. Amnon her brother will take advantage of her. It’s a sad story. It spirals downward. We will need to wait until Mashiach comes until we will once again be redeemed. Yet that redemption will come when we finally remove the “begadim ha’tzoim- the stained garments from upon us.

 

Our sages note that all the words for clothing have one common denominator, lies, coverup, rebellion. Let’s take a few. Beged clothing is the same word as begida to rebel. Me’il- a coat, is the same word as me’ila, which means to knowingly misuse. Kesus is cover up. Chalifa- exchange or switch. Levush- is for shame. In the Torah the idea of clothing is that its purpose is to remind us of our human frailty, of our sin, of our distance from that point when we walked around in our birthday suits with Hashem in the garden of Eden before we sinned and had nothing to be embarrassed about. We were created by Hashem - and our bodies reflected only that light of Hashem. There was no personal desire that wasn’t holiness and connection with Him. Yet when we sinned, when we ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, we became independent. It was “our body” not His. And that consciousness and physical personal drive distanced me from that garden. For me to get back, I need to cover it up. I needed to be reminded of where I need to return to.

 

When we leave Mitzrayim, we are told that it’s in the merit that we never changed our clothes, despite the fact that we fell to the lowest point of the spiritual ladder; the 49^th level of tumah. Yet those clothing of galus, that Yosef charged us with and passed down to us remained. They remained until the last minute until, bizzarely Hashem tells us that we can’t leave until we take the Egyptian clothes from them. They need to hand us them willfully. It’s like Hashem finally clothing us again, but this time it’s through the clothing that we redeemed from them. It is in those clothing, that we see the Sea split. It is only when we are at Mount Sinai when we wash them clean. When they become renewed. It’s then when they become clothing of “light”.  When we receive the Torah and see Hashem face to face once again. Those clothing never get ruined, ripped or even need to be cleaned, miraculously for forty years that we wander in the wilderness until we come to the land of Israel redeemed with them.

 

Coming home means getting out of the old clothes that we’ve put on in Galus and putting on new ones. Shabbos clothing. Clothing of the High Priest. L’kavod U’litifferes- for honor and for splendor. There is no more shame- the opposite of kavod. There is no more distortion and confusion- it is only a cloak of many colors all splendidly united into one garment of light that reflects Hashem.

 

Black hats, beketches, kapotehs, shtreimels, small kippa, sheitel, falls, tichel, short pants, army uniform, sandals, cloaks, turbans, Na Nach white knitted yarmulkas and King Mashiach Yechi Ha’Melech black ones, Charles Tyrill, Lulu Lemon. White shirts, blue shirts, hemlines and sleeve sizes, with socks, without socks…What are you wearing? Is that who you are? Is that all you are? Is that how you express your identity? Perhaps more significantly is that how you look at judge and define the yid sitting next to you. Is that how you teitch them up? How you put them in the box. How you say that they are different than you. That they are some way less than you? Less important to Hashem. Are we not seeing the “trick” and “shame” and “betrayal” of the clothing that they were meant to remind us of? Have they fooled us and become our reality and made us forget how they are all one. We are all One? That underneath those clothing we’re all really the same. The same body of earth with a soul from up High inside that gives it life.

 

Leaving Galus means getting out of our familiar clothing. For some it may mean putting on army uniforms. That’s what it meant for the tribe of Levi Chanuka time when they became Maccabees. For others it may mean putting tzitizis on uniforms and clothing that they never wore before. For others it’s putting on black hats, for others its shtreimels and Na Nachs Kippas or Mashiach yarmulkas. But it’s time to change. To look beyond those clothing. There are other clothing that Esau puts on us. The clothing that they make us wear when we don’t appreciate the essence of and falseness and danger of our own clothing. The clothing they give us to wear is a yellow star. It’s black and white Aushwitz prison uniforms. It’s the blood stained dancing Nova festival dresses and the burnt kibbutz pajamas of October 7^th. Those are the clothes of Egypt, that we need to redeem and cleanse. That remind us of the birthright we have that we can never hide or disguise ourselves from. That we don’t need trickery to achieve. That Hashem is waiting for so long for us all to finally wear in the Bais Ha’Mikdash.

 

I know that Purim is the holiday when I and all of us focus more on a discussion of clothing, masks and costumes. It’s that holiday that we read the parsha of Tetzave that’s full of the clothing of the Kohanim. Yet Chanuka is the time when we first all have to get into uniform. When we realize that we are soldiers. When we light the candles we are the kohanim. But we are the Kohanim without their clothes. We are Kohanim in spirit. In our hearts. In the battles we are fighting. It’s us finding that hidden spark within us. If we light that spark and that flame. Then by the time Purim rolls around, we will all don the clothing and garments that Mordechai Hatzadik wore of kingship. The clothing that Yosef gave Binyamin. The battle of Persia and Iran will be won. The borders will be returned. Pesach will come and the long awaited miracles and redemption will finally be here. We just need to start getting dressed for the occasion.

 

Have a light-filled Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der emes ken arumgain a naketer; dem lign darf men baklaidn..” - The truth can walk around naked; the lie has to be clothed.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

32. The Red Line of the light rail in Gush Dan starts in Bat Yam, travels through

Tel Aviv, and ends in ________.

Where do most of the merchandise of the State of Israel leave and enter from?

A. Land crossings

B. Eilat Port

C. Ben-Gurion Airport

D. Mediterranean Sea ports

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuO2Acg6jwY   – A  cool musical yiddish recap of Sefer Bereishis with Motty Steimetz , Zanvil Weinberg, Malchus Choir and more…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLNTe9sgAtI – Razel Family new song An Avda. Just so cool to see the entire family from the spectrum..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjTu0GrMuSU – For Chag Ha’Geula Harel Tal… I don’t know I just like this guy…Ohr Chadash

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn_mJ3Wrn40   – And the Chanuka Acapella songs begin this week with Maccabeats Defying Gravity..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Cleansing- 621BC – With the prophecy and message of the Torah scroll and Chulda’s warning to Yoshiya of the destruction and exile of the Jewish people for their sons on the horizon, heard and accepted by the King who rips his clothing… Yup… See E-Mail above… a movement for teshuva and the cleaning and rededication and purification of the Beit Hamikdash and Israel begins in earnest. It’s Chanuka time in the first temple and Yoshiya heeds the call. He gathers all of the Jewish people to the Beit Ha’Mikdash and renews the bris that was made so long before. The words of the Torah, the covenant we had entered into. It’s real. We’re about to lose it all. Let’s make Israel great again. And they all sign on the dotted line. Let the mission begin.

 

The first place he starts is of course the Beit Hamikdash. They take out all of the idols, all of the vessels, and burns them all in the valley of Kidron. Today that valley known as Gei Ben Hinnom or Gehenom, or Hell in English, is right outside of Mt. Of Olives. It’s there where the Molech was served in human sacrifice. It was the idolatrous equivalent of Sin City, the red district of idolatry dating back to Shlomo Ha’Melechs’ wives. Incidentally as well today, it’s a place where there are way too many churches, as lots of Yoshka stuff happened there. The idolatry there is still waiting to be cleansed out. It’s waiting for us to do the Lordas work and why Hashem brought us there. It’s waiting for us do what Yoshiya did over there, as he covered it in the ashes of all that is evil. He removes the Baal’s, the Ashera trees, the temples, the monasteries, He then brings all those ashes there and expands his cleansing to the entire land.

 

Whereas until Yoshiyahu, the Northern Kingdom of Israel and Southern Kingdom of Yehuda didn’t influence much of another and were separated by the Temple of Yeravam in Beit El. Yoshiya changes all of that. As most of the ten tribes were gone already and exiled, he now expands the kingdom of Yehuda north. He destroys the temple of Yeravam and brings all of the Jerusalem ashes there to Beit El and buries them there. It’s where the exile all started with Yaakov’s ladder centuries before and now they were once again becoming fixed. Becoming united. His reign and cleansing mission went all the way down to Beer Sheva. As I said. It was a Chanuka fire that was filling Israel. It was something that hadn’t been achieved in all of the centuries before, even under Chikziya and all of this by this 26-year-old King! 26 by the way is of course the numerical value of Hashem’s name. Yoshiyahu had revived it. The future was looking brighter.

 

Yet this wasn’t just a renovation and purification process. There would be blood that would need to be spilled as well. Blood, bones and bodies… What happened next? Stay tuned next week…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FUNNY TERRIBLE CLOTHING JOKES OF THE WEEK

My fitness instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising. I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing.

 

Camouflage clothing is so ugly... It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

 

The feud between the two clothing stores down the street finally came to an end. It ended in a tie.

 

The Missouri state legislature is considering a ban on female legislators' clothing that leaves their arms exposed. I never thought I'd see a Republican state trying to overturn the right to bare arms

 

You know the clothing company Puma? They make Puma shirts, Puma hats, Puma socks, Puma coats...

I wonder why they don't make pants.

 

My really frum aunt thinks that statues of Yoshka on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing. ...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.

 

Apparently scarves are the most dangerous form of winter clothing.The least dangerous are sweater vests. They’re completely armless.

 

I just walked by a boy dressed in some poor shabby clothing

I said: "Awe, are you an orphan"?

He said: "Yes, what gave me away?"

To which I replied: "Your parents."

 

What is a magicians favorite clothing item? A card-again

 

What's an American's favourite clothing? A lawsuit

 

What do you say to an overworked clothing maker? You seamstressed.

 

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

 

What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid? Quentin Quarantino.

 

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The answer to this week”s question is C – Well a bad end to a lousy exam… I think out of all of the years I’ve been doing this, this was the worst score that I ever got. Let’s see if I passed even… Well this last question I got entirely wrong. The first part, is really my fault for not paying attention to the question. If I would’ve thought about it for a second I would’ve got the right-ish answer. For some reason, I thought they were asking who Herod’s wife was. And It hought it was a trick question. And So I answered that she was Chasmonaim, the daughter of Yochan Hyrkanus, the last of the Chashmonaim. See I guess I’m in Chanuka mode. The truth is his mother wasn’t Jewish and he was a forced convert-ish. His mother was Idumean. Or Arab ethnicity the wife of his father Antipater or Antipatrus in Chazal. He was a questionable convert. The second part I guessed Iturean, just cause I didn’t think it was any of the other ones. Yet, If I would’ve gotten the first one right, I would’ve known that the answer to the second one was the Edomites or Idumeans. Because that was technically Herods rule and background. But anyways this last one is entirely wrong.

The final score for this exam stands and ends at. Rabbi Schwartz having 20.5 points and the MOT having 12.5 points which technically would give me a failing grade of 62%. Yet I’m allowed to deduct three questions and only answer 30 instead of 33. So that would give me a pssing grade of 68% . Now the truth is this only off the multiple part section of the exam. That only counts for I believe 1/3 of your grade. The other parts are making itinerary for groups and giving a tour. But yes this is what happens as time goes on… NEXT WEEK We start a new exam stay tuned!