Seeing Happy Clouds- Sukkot 5785 2024

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 16^th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 51 14^th of Tishrei 5785

 Sukkos Edition

Seeing Happy Clouds

OK Guys, Is everyone ready for the big holiday this year? Pesach we have a whole month worth of cleaning of our house. Really Yeshivish people are baking their own burnt matzas a month before already and even cutting wheat and getting the water ready. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we have the whole month of Elul to prepare. Purim starts already from the beginning of Adar being happy. While on the opposite end of the spectrum Tisha B’Av our mourning starts from three weeks before and we get sadder and smellier without showers at the end by the time we’re sitting on the floor mourning. Even Chanuka it seems like already right after Sukkos the stores are already selling doughnuts here in Israel already. It’s never too early to start with those sufganiyot.

Yet Sukkos doesn’t work that way… the second Yom Kippur is over we’re banging nails and hanging decorations. We have to run out to the Shuk and pull out our magnifying glass- so that no one suspects that we don’t know anything and won’t marry our daughters, and pretend that there really is much of a difference between this shape, and that black dot all the while extolling the virtues of Etrogs with or without a pitum and or gartel and lulavs with or without a kneppel. We’re cooking like mad. Everyone is coming over, We’ve got three days until the chag and guess what? I’m out touring with my fancy (and dedicated and committed to Eretz Yisrael to come particularly this year, when who knows what might happen) American tourists who paid a million dollars on El Al to fly here and don’t have to worry about any of the above. They have “people” that take care of all of that stuff for them. They have more important things to do. They have to tour with me and make sure I’m not home to have to do all my Chag preparations. In the past. I had five kids at home that would do that for me. It’s down to Tully and Elka now… And Elka went to Yerushalayim with friends.. Wish me luck brothers.

To make it even more fun, we’ve got missiles falling on our heads in Karmiel. It’s amazing that we lasted until now without any. When Nasralla was around we had an understanding. He would leave me and my city alone and I would leave him alone. But since the Israelis took him out, these new guys running the show over there didn’t exactly get the message. There must be a beeper malfunction or something. So we’ve got missiles, sirens, a very traumatized wife and dog… I don’t know which one of them is worse off. Yes… I don know who I care about more. Chase doesn’t make chulent. Yup… It’s a fun holiday that seems to just jump right out at us. Kind of like this whole year did, to be honest… Yet, God willing this as well should be at the opposite extreme.

Yet besides all of those other details and preparations for the mitzvos of the holiday, there’s one big mitzva that is perhaps the most encompassing mitzva of the entire 8 days coming up on us. It’s more than Sukka, Its more than eating meals, it’s more than the times we take our Lulav and Etrog and shake it around, it’s more than all of the prayers and hallels that we say. It’s a mitzva every single minute of the next 8 days. A Mitzva that for many this year is going to be one of the hardest they have ever had to fulfill. One that in fact, it’s pretty much impossible to fully realize in the matziv that we are in. It’s the mitzva of Va’hayisa ach samayach- we are meant to be only happy. Exuberant. Rejoiceful. Celebratory. Flying on cloud 9. Clouds of glory, that is.

Are you feeling it…? Have you prepared for it? Can you get there? This is not a just eat in the Sukkah, shake the Lulav, go to shul or even sukkah hop or dance at a simchat beit Ha’Shoeiva for a few sweaty hours. It’s not even going on a Chol Ha’Moed tour all day with Rabbi Schwartz, which should make it easier for you. This is 24/7 every minute of the day for the next 8 days- and you Americans that haven’t yet merited to be living in the Holy Land need an extra day as well, the only emotion we have to be feeling and expressing is happiness and joy. Who’s up for the task?

How do we get there? How do we feel that this year, when Simchas Torah is looming right in front of us and there are so many Shuls with empty seats. With children in Gaza. With husbands in Lebanon who haven’t seen their families for months. With burnt houses and bloody peace festival sites fresh in our brains. With almost a hundred thousand of our brothers and sisters who have been living in Diros Arai- temporary dwellings for over a year already, while their houses, chicken coops and barns are being blown up? Only happy? Really? How do we get there? How do I get there?

So Hashem sent me a gift this year. This weekly E-Mail is always the merit that Hashem utilizes to send me something original, a new insight, some mind-blowing inspiration, words of comfort and chizuk that will carry me through the week. And as well give me something to speak about in my Shul, as until this moment, who has time to prepare drashos for Shabbos. It’s the selfish reason, why I have my shul to be honest. It’s the only way I merit Hashem sharing this chizuk with me… It’s worth the investment and all of the shnorring I have to do from you guys. And thank you so much for all of those of you who responded to my appeal. The rest of you can just unsubscribe now…thank you… Just joiking… I love you too… The other added benefit is of course that I get to daven for the amud, as I’m not really good at sitting through other people’s leading the service or drashos for that matter…

Now in past years, I always understood that famous Gaon of Vilna, idea that many mention that to understand what a word means in Hebrew you have to look at the first time the word is mentioned in the Torah. And as I’m sure many of you will respond if I asked them where the first time the word Sukkah is mentioned, you would tell me that it is found by Yaakov Avinu when he builds Sukkot- for his animals after leaving the house of Lavan. There’s lots of Torah about that. You’ve heard it all before. It’s about understanding that our physical possessions are all temporary. It’s understanding that Hashem gives us all the blessing we have. This year though I found an earlier source for the word Sukka. One that I never noticed before and one that is mind-blowing and as you will read, eye-opening.

Rabbeinu Bachaya notes that rather than the word booths as being the source for the word Sukka, it actually has its root in another word. Actually not a word, but in an unlikely name. The word Sukkah, he writes, comes from the name Yiska. Yiska, the Torah tells us was the daughter of Haran and it seems according to the Midrash was the alternate name for our Matriarch Sarah, before she got married to Avraham, and yeshivished her name out. Who knows? Maybe they asked Reb Chayim Kanievsky for a bracha for children and he made them change her name…

Rashi tells us in his first pshat of the name Yiska that she was thus called because she was socheh with Ruach Ha’Kodesh- she was able to envision with the Holy Spirit and kulan sochin b’yofiya- and all would gaze at her beauty. So there you have it. The root of the word Sukkah for the first time in the Torah is to gaze, to perceive, to envision. The root of the word Sukkah, and seemingly the essence of the mitzva is see and reveal things that one doesn’t necessary appreciate on the surface without a deep penetrating look. As well Unkelus by the parsha of Bilam when Bilam gazes- Vayishkof- translates the word in Aramaic as “Itchisei”- he looked deeply and beyond.

If you think about Sarah Imeinu, when the Torah gives us her name, I think that we would probably look at her with sorrow. He father Haran, was just burnt up in a fiery furnace by the evil king Nimrod. Unlike his brother Avraham who was miraculously saved, he wasn’t that meritorious. He said Shema Yisrael, just as his brother did. He was willing to sacrifice himself to be martyred rather than to bow down to idolatry. Yet, it didn’t help. If one thinks about it for a second, which I never really did before this year. Haran was in fact the first person to be martyred on Kiddush Hashem- sanctifying Hashem’s name. Yet like the so many kedoshim that died this year, he wasn’t saved, and perhaps until that very last moment and breath that they took, they didn’t know or appreciate how sacred their lives were. Until their neshoma left them with Hashem Echad in their last breath.

Sarah, his daughter, however took that trauma, that holiness, and she saw beyond that sorrow and grieving and questions of faith that her father had. She perceived that there would be a future. That Hashem was good. That it’s not the moment that defines us. It’s how we are given the ability to define the moment. To elevate it. To see Hashem’s salvation ahead of us. It’s to walk out of the fiery furnace, the death and destruction and to have beauty that shines through that everyone can gaze at and be in awe of. It’s the beauty and faith of the so many I have met, that understand as we all do that Hashem has a Plan we don’t understand, but that we can perceive with our Ruach Ha’Kodesh. With the miracles he does preform for us. Yiska/Sarah walks out of the death of her father, the martyr Haran and she marries and connects to Avraham who was saved from that same fire. From that Kibbutz. She connected to the miracle and not to the tragedy. She walked in the tent of Avraham where she lived the rest of her life and stood at the petach ha’ohel- she stood in his Sukkah. She recognized that the world is just temporary. That life is whatever path Hashem takes us on. And with that Sukka she went from being Sarai- not just the princess of Avraham, but Sarah, the princess and Matriarch of our nation and the world.

Of the four species that we take on Sukka, our sages tell us that they each represent different body parts. The Lulav is our spine, the Etrog is the heart, Aravot are shaped like our lips and the Hadasim/myrtles are eyes. The Haddasim are unique though, because unlike the other species that all match up, as we have one heart, one spine and two lips and thus two aravot and one of each of the others, Hadassim has three branches and they each have clusters of three leaves. This is seemingly strange because it doesn’t match up with our two eyes. As well, funny enough a Lulav, Etrog and even Aravot that aren’t kosher are called pasul-invalid. Yet when the Hadassim are lacking in their leaves its referred to as a Hadas shoteh- a stupid or foolish hadas… Hmmm… I don’t know how politically correct that sounds. What would the leave activists have to say about that? Shouldn’t we refer to them a foliage challenged perhaps.

The answer is that on Sukkos we are granted an extra eye. It’s the eye of Ruach Hakodesh, it’s the one that we get when we enter the Sukkah. It’s the eye that tells us that all that we are seeing in the world outside of the Sukkah is not what it seems. The real world is one that has the clouds of glory surrounding us at all times. That is watching over us. That the martyrs are in a better place and are in fact right there in our Sukkah with us at our table. They are there with our Ushpizin. With Avraham and Sarah. With each of our Patriarchs through King David on the last night. That the real world is a beautiful Sukkah. That Hashem is dwelling in our midst. It’s a world that this year has seen tens of thousands of missiles that would have decimated any other country and that statistically should’ve killed hundreds of thousands, but that bounced off the clouds of glory that all of the Iron Domes, Davids Slingshots and Arrows could never of pulled off and defended us from without Hashem’s hand and protective clouds. It’s a world that is getting closer and closer to Mashiach. That we are being prepared to step into that holy Sukkah of Hashem, the Sukkat Dovid Hanofelet- that Sukkah of Hashem that has perhaps fallen, but has never really been destroyed. That is in the process of being raised and uplifted to heights we’ve never achieved before. It’s bringing the Shechina back into our midst.

Someone who doesn’t see this is a shoteh- he’s not merely blind. He has two eyes that he’s looking with, but he’s not gazing and perceiving with that third eye. The eye of Ruach Hakodesh that we all have and have been given. He’s living in the moment and not seeing beyond it. He doesn’t recognize how much Hashem is doing for us, and how our Father is bringing us to the final game. To His palace. To redemption. To being happy all of the time. Happiness isn’t something that happens. In fact happiness is the opposite of happen-ness. It’s adding the yud at the end of the ‘happ’ and transforming the world from a place where things happen to a place that sees Hashem and his little yud and becomes Happy. Cute? Right?

To become happy doesn’t take a lot of work, this year, if you think about it for one second. More than any other year, we have seen that what has been happening to us, to Jews all over the world, is that it’s not something that is happening. It’s something that is surreall. It’s Ruach Ha’Kodesh. We were given a third eye last year on Simchat Torah when we left our Sukkah. It’s an eye that showed us that everything we thought was true about the world is over. The redemption is coming. Hashem has fully taken over the wheel. We’ve spent a year in shelters. We’ve spent a year davening. We’ve spent a year doing chesed and emotionally and spiritually reaching realms we never did before. We’ve spent a year entering the Sukkah of Hashem. We’ve gotten there. We’re home. We can be happy. We have that third eye. We’re not shotim- fools, blind. Let the rejoicing begin!

Have an amazing joyous, festive, redemptive Sukkos,

Warmly

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

This week's Insights and Inspiration is dedicated in appreciation of the so many of you who have partnered with us this past High Holiday season and answered our bi-annual appeal. Your contributions and friendship is so meaningful and I can’t express how much it means to me and my shul. May Hashem bless all of you and your families with an incredible year full of only good and deliciousness…

 For those that still want to donate we’re always here for your sponsorship and our appeal hasn’t shut down yet and you can contribute on this US Tax deductible link below.

 https://interland3.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E343033&id=50

 CHAG SAMAYACH!

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A lustiger dales gait iber alles.."- Happy poverty overcomes everything.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ushpizin – In honor of Sukkos one of my most beautiful Sukkos songs.. and you know theres a need for a good hartzig one “Ushpizin”

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lmaan-yeydu-vsamachta – And of course the only song you get a mitzva d’oraysa for singing in your sukka- dance away- v’samachta my composition

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VgOkrC_L-Q – Shlomo Carlebach on Sukkos… Awesome..

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

25.The governing center of the Palestinian Authority is located in the city of _______ What proportion of Israel’s population are Arab-Israelis?

A)  Arounf 20% 

B) Around .5%

C) Around 10%

D)  Around .35%

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

25) The governing center of the Palestinian Authority is located in the city of _______

What proportion of Israel’s population are Arab-Israelis?

a) Around 20%

B) Around 5%

C) Around  10%

D) Around  35%

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S HAPPY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Why was the mortgage so upset? Because it was a loan

Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Berkowitz was in the best hospital in Long Island and was moaning the whole time, finally he was transferred to a crummy hospital in Brooklyn, happy as anything, they ask him what the problem was before, he said before I had nothing to complain about ... HERE I CAN COMPLAIN!!!!

Shlomo and Hetty, an elderly widow and widower, had been dating for about three years when Shlomo finally decided to ask Hetty to marry him. She immediately said "yes". 
The next morning when he awoke, Shlomo couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so. Wait, no, she looked at me funny..." 
After about an hour of trying to remember, but to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave Hetty a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to his proposal. 
"Oh", Hetty said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

At his 103rd birthday party, Zadie Herman Rosenbaum was asked by his great grandson Shmueli if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do Shmueli," Zadie Herman replied. "As a matter of fact, statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

The answer to this week”s question is A – OK! We’re continuing this year with the same exam as last, up to question 25 but at least Im off to a great start with the first question right. The capital of the PA is of course Ramalla. Which should very soon hopefully get wiped out to the ground killing all of the Hamas lovers inside of it. And the Israeli Arab population is about 2 million or so which is about 20% of the Israeli Jewish population. As well.. All of those that don’t like us living here should get killed god willing soon. So here we start off the new year and the exam scor stands at. So I got this one half right and thus the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 16 point and the MOT having 9 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

  Insights & Information is sent to e-mail addresses that of have been submitted to the Rabbi Schwartz. To unsubscribe at any time, I send an e-mail to rabbschwartz@yahoo.com   with the words "unsubscribe insights" in the Subject line and/or the first line of text. If you know of anyone that may be interested in receiving this newsletter feel free to pass this on to them...

 

 

 

Happy Landing- Parshat Ki Tavo 5783 2023

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 1^st, 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 47 15^th of Elul 5783

 

Parshat Ki Tavo

Happy Landing

I’ll be honest. Brutally so… It’s really the only way I know how to write and perhaps why you keep come coming back here. It was never my life-long dream to move Israel. I wasn’t raised on that passion, love and understanding that life and living in Eretz Yisrael has any central place in my practice of being a good Orthodox, Frum, Torah Jew. Sure, I davened for the Messianic Era to come. Sure I went through the motions and even may times the “e”motions of mourning the temple, davening hard for the redemption three times a day and for the bais ha’mikdash and its service to be returned each holiday and Shabbos, and for our long bitter exile to be over. But all of that being said, I never really felt that my Judaism and Torah life couldn’t be meaningfully fulfilled and right in the diaspora until that happens.  

 Hey, for 2000 years we’ve managed fine and produced so many great gedolim, sages, and Torah works from the Talmud Bavli, to Rashi, to all of the great Geonim in Spain, in Africa and the great glorious Torah yeshivos and holy communities in Europe. They were great and holy and even eternal in the Exile, outside of Israel. It worked for them it could work for me. Eretz Yisrael is and was certainly for me the final inning in the large baseball game of our religious existence and I was fine enjoying the game and playing hard until it was time. Tell me the truth… we’re friends here. Do you feel the same way?

 When I moved to Israel 13 years ago last week, it was more for pragmatic reasons then Zionistic or even spiritual reasons. My 6- year gig in the Seattle Kollel where we had an outreach shul was coming to an end. We had Baruch Hashem been able to see much success in our work and we enjoyed the life of spreading the word and passion of Judaism with so many who had never been raised or exposed to it. We had a shul, a school we started, a Torah and an amazing community that we had watched grow and flourish. Yet, my job was becoming more and more of a full-time fundraiser and it was becoming more and more apparent that I was reaching the point in life to do what my mother always said I should do.

 “Get a real job, already”.

Or more accurately “

“What type of a job is a Rabbi, for a nice young Jewish boy… leave that for the Goyim and make an honest living.”

 So I made a cheshbon. I told my wife that in America the way it works is that you either “make it” or you don’t. If you make it, then you’re a winner. If you don’t- you’re a loser. And at age 40 just starting your “real world” employment career- it certainly ain’t easy to make it, with tuitions, health insurance, mortgage payments etc…

 In Israel though, nobody really makes it. There’s plenty of people to commiserate with. And yet over here, your mere existence and life has meaning and purpose. Every time you go to the bathroom in this country you fulfill a mitzva d’oraysa of settling the land. So at that point and with that epiphany we turned our eyes eastward and began to make plans to move.

 Being that was our mindset though, I don’t think I was prepared for what I can undoubtably say was perhaps the most moving moment of my life. And Baruch Hashem I’ve had many. My Bar Mitzva, my wedding, the birth of my children, the birth of Elka 😊.. The weddings, the grandchildren, the twin grandchildren. Simcha after Simcha, blessing after blessing. So many moments, so much to be grateful for. Yet, all of those, as powerful and amazing as they were, they still were not as incredible and memorable as the moment when I stepped off that plane with my family. The moment that still brings tears to my eyes when I think back to it.

 If you want a taste, click on this link. I don’t generally put Youtube links in my E-Mail body. You have to wait and scroll down to that column later. But if you want to really get it. Click here and then continue. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfFKYKKhyZU

 Are there tears in your eyes? Did you get choked up? If there aren’t and you’re not, then we need to check your yichus. There’s something seriously missing in your neshoma. Your too “fahr-galused”. They’ve gotten to you. It’s gotten to you…

 The hype began before we even stepped off that chartered NBN plane that had a few hundred people and families all making aliya. The NBN staff circulated around the plane and helped fill out all of our aliya paperwork. As the plane approached for the landing the excitement began to build as the song 'v’shavu banim l’gevulam'- the prophecy of the children returning to our home came on from the sound system and everyone began to sing and cheer. I felt that I was literally in the vision that the prophets all saw and told us about. This is the wings of eagles, that they saw, that all my ancestors dreamed about. I was living it. I was experiencing it. They saw me and my family. I was here.

 When the doors opened, my breath was taken away. The only other thing close to that was when the doors at my wedding opened and I saw the chupa where I would be wed to my beloved standing in front of me and awaiting me to walk down that aisle. The Red carpet was out in front of us at the bottom of the staircase on the tarmac and there was a crowd of hundreds waiting there below with flags, with music. There were chayalim and chayalot, my brothers and sisters whom I had never met before just waiting there for us. Welcoming us… greeting us… hugging and embracing. I fell to my knees and cried and kissed the holy ground. I didn’t expect to feel like this. I didn’t know what I was experiencing. My neshoma exploded. I was home. My life had just changed. It had become. I had become.

 Now, I’m pretty sure that if I was reading this before I moved here, I would be thinking to myself…stop with the crazy mushy gushy Zionist propaganda. Yeah, sure, Israel is important. It’s nice. It’s holy. But really… opening up a new part of your neshoma? Becoming real…? What are you talking about? Galus isn’t that bad… You can be frum and holy here also… We have Torah… We have yeshivos… We have spirituality. We have Shabbos… We have pesach… We have Yom Kippur and Sukkos… What is he saying…? He must have really not been shtayging or learning Torah in the States… Yeah… he was in kiruv and we all know that’s not really Torah or being frum… Not like us here in Lakewood or Monsey… He was in Seattle and Iowa so that’s why he doesn’t get it… Why he felt so special coming to Israel. But we’re just as holy and spiritual here… Sure we want Mashiach, but until then…

 Yeah…I would’ve said that too…But I would’ve been wrong. Wrong as you are… tragically so…

 To understand and appreciate what I’m talking about, I want you to read this week’s parsha different than you’ve ever read it or listened to it before. Different than you’ve ever read any parsha before. It’s the parsha of V’haya Ki Tavo- and it will be when you come to the land that Hashem Your God has given you as an inheritance and you shall settle it.

 But the ‘you’ in the verse is you. Yes… Yankel or Suri, Rabbi Schwartz E-Mail reader… You. The Parsha is written singular and as Rashi tells us a few times this week- it’s meant to be read “as if today you came to the land” Today your flight arrived and you’re coming off the plane. It’s your aliya day.

 The first mitzva the Torah tells us about upon your arrival though fascinatingly enough isn’t really applicable when we or the Jewish people arrived to the land. It isn’t on your arrival day either, by the way. The first mitzva is that of Bikkurim- bring the first fruits of the seven species that grow to the Bais Ha’Mikdash to the Kohen. This mitzva wasn’t kept until the land was conquered which took over a decade. It won’t be noheig for you either until you settle the land, you plant, you grow, you wait the few years for your orla and neta revai years are over and you can finally eat from your fruits. But yet, the Torah tells us this mitzva as the first thing when we need to be aware of when coming to the land. It’s on our welcome instructions. It’s what it’s all about, and it gives you a bit of an understanding of what you’re feeling when you land.

 Do you know what you need to do? What this is all about? You come to the Bais Ha’Mikdash. You have that first fruit in your hand. In your basket. And you bring it to the Kohen and as you stand in that glorious overwhelming awesome house of Hashem you make a recitation like no other mitzva. One that doesn’t even make sense, that doesn’t seem true… but that now for the first time it’s real and you’re feeling it. You tell the story of your life to the Kohen. To Hashem. And your story, you just understood for the first time, really started back with our forefather Yaakov; back in that first Jews galus. It’s not Yaakov’s story. It’s not our nations story. It’s not a history lesson. It’s your story.

 Arami Oveid Avi- It’s your father.

 It’s you that the Egyptians persecuted, that were evil to, that tried to kill you. You feel those blows you suffered on your back. You remember those cries and pleas that you had to Hashem. You have just plugged into an out of body experience and transcended time and space. You realize that your soul was there and has come back again and again for 2000 years to this world and gone to gehenom and back and has been waiting for this day since our Temple was destroyed.

 You don’t just recite these exact verses- like you do by the Pesach Seder when as well we are meant to feel as if we left Egypt.

 Lo es Avoseinu- Not just our forefathers or history lesson. But us.

Pesach we try to get there. But today when your plane landed you really feel it. It all came together for you. You were there. You were at Sinai. You wandered. All the souls of all of your ancestors just landed there with you. You’ve come home and you're so so grateful. So humbled. So awed. You bow. You sing.

 V’samachta b’chol ha’tov asher nosan lecha Hashem elokecha- and you’re so so happy with all the good that Hashem your God has given you. Happiness… Simcha like you’ve never had before.

 That moment of Simcha that you feel is the experience of a complete tikkun of the very first time when we went into galus. It goes back to Kayin who didn’t bring the first and best of his crops in that very first sacrifice to Hashem, and was sent into exile.

 Hashem exiled Adam and Eve from the Garden and part of their curse was atzvus- sadness, a sense of something missing. Of being distanced from our Source. Of realizing and living with the knowledge that no matter what we do as long as we’re not together with Hashem in our land no matter what we do and pursue we’ll always still be incomplete. Hashem tells this to Kayin before exiling him. When Kayin realizes this, he is sad, and Hashem tells him not to feel that way. He can return. He will return. The simcha will come back. And it has for us today and we bring that first fruit that he didn’t.

 When we return, the parsha continues and tells us how special we are united together with Hashem. How we are His am segula. We are His treasure. We’re bonded. We’re reunited. We’re eternal. We remember the covenant when we- not not the historical “we”, but me personally, you personally, your soul, our souls first entered the land and stood by the two mountains around Shechem and heard the blessing and curse. It recalls the blessing of the 6 days of Creation when Hashem created the world and the curse- the arur, we heard when we were thrown out of it and we understand that we’ve finally come back again, but this time forever.

 We take the 12 stones that we crossed the Jordan River and we put them together and write the Torah on them for the whole world. It reminds us of the 12 stones that Yaakov, that first exiled Jew slept on when he left Israel to Aram and they joined together and he built that first mizabayach on. He made a vow that he would return. That we would return. That we would rejoice and bring sacrifices upon them at the gateway to heaven. And he did return. The 12 tribes came back with him. We came back with him. The tzon kedoshim- those holy sheep that we were gathered together and took 12 stones and renewed our vows and we were happy.

 The feeling of happiness that the Torah tells us we experience right now when your plane landed is what we have been missing for so long. Sure we’ve had happy occasions, but it’s never been complete. It’s never transcended time. It’s never connected me to my soul in all it’s previous incarnations. To Yaakov… to Sinai…to Egypt… to Kayin…to the Garden… Hashem tells us in the Tochcha that Moshe tells us in the end of this amazing arrival parsha and in this little booklet that we are receiving upon our arrival, that everything we’ve suffered all of these millennia, all the misery, all the tzoris, all the stress, the killing, the persecution, the depression is all because

 Lo avadata es Hashem elokecha b’simcha u’vtov lev- we never served Hashem with the simcha that only being Eretz Yisrael together with Him could’ve given us.

 Do you know what is so happy about simcha? It is that it breaks through all barriers. Its an experience that is beyond the humdrum day-to-day expectations. It’s a feeling of joy that you’ve experienced something that is beyond this world and that is real and brought your soul to a place it didn’t think it could get to. Galus- exile happens when we also go to a place that we didn’t think we should be in, but it’s the wrong place. It’s a place that will never have simcha-as much as we try to pursue it there, because it’s the wrong place. It’s not the right address. It’s not back with Hashem where it all started.

 The Torah is not telling you that the “lo avadata b’simcha” is the reason for our punishment of exile. We were exiled because of all the sins we did. The previous verse tells us it’s because

 Lo Shamata b’kol Hashem elokecha lishmor mitzvosuv v’chukosuv asher tzivcha- we didn’t listen and keep the commandments He gave us.

 Rather the verse is telling us that there will be a sign and wonder for us and our descendants eternally that we will never really be happy in galus until we return. It is telling us the metzius, the essence and effect of our galus is that we will never really be happy until we are home. Our souls will know this. They will feel incomplete. They will understand and realize that no matter how much we do anywhere else…it will still feel cursed. It will still haunt and chase us…until today… until your flight just landed. Until we're home. Until we have truly become.

 This past year over 1300 immigrants have experienced this. In just the last week or so over 215 have returned. The era of Kibbutz Galuyos, of us returning home is coming faster and faster. In the past 13 years since I’ve been privileged to come home tens of thousands and perhaps even 10-20% of frum families that lived in the Diaspora have hopped on those wings of eagles and become part of the prophecy and vision of Yeshaya which I recommend reading again and again in this week’s Torah reading. It’s also part of your arrival package of Ki Tavo. It foretells of the return, the ingathering, the peace, the world recognition, the crops, the glory and the simcha of our generation on our return.

 Ani Hashem- I am Hashem,

he concludes

B’Ita Achishena- in our time He will hasten it.

 Our flight…your flight has arrived. Welcome home.

 Have a  superb Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Another’s cloak does not keep you warm “- Another’s cloak does not keep you warm

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

 

4. The "House of David inscription" was discovered in the archeological site of ___________.

To what period does the monument called "Absalom's monument" (Yad Avshalom) in Jerusalem

date?

A. First Temple period

B. Second Temple period

C. The Persian period

D. The Byzantine period

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey  - It’s Elul and this is the song that you need to sing every single day from the extra psalm we add l’dovid… enjoy my Lulay He’amanti..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQPuOp2Lxb8   –One of my favorite all time oldies comedy piece Arik Einshtien and Uri Zohar on the Aliyahs pre-State… soo…sooo.. true.. and funny

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiBI37frwVs  – Eitan Katz beautiful Kol Dodi Chupa

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23bHBmxkz5U   – My dear friend arranger and singer Dovid Lowy’s An L’dodi… stay tuned next week for my latest Elul song that we just finished…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1mn2-q2rJA   – And of course SY Recchnitz’s now classic An L’dodi…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Wicked Queen- You know the saying…The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  Well sometimes the apple is closer or farther from the tree. Sometimes the kids are worse than the parents and sometimes the children grow even higher than the tree, their parents ever were. Well, this week we start to learn about the continuing fall of the house of Dovid Ha’Melech’s once glorious kingdom that’s been in a downward decline since Shlomo’s son Rechavam took over and the kingdom divided.

 

It reached its zenith when Yehoshafat became King at the same time that Achav was King of Israel and married his son Yehoram off to Athalia the daughter of Achav and Izevel. But first a quick recap of the generations. After Shlomo Ha’melech the kingdom divides. Rechavam is the first king of Yehuda in the divided kingdom. His son is Aviya, followed by his son Asa and then Yehoshafat. On the Yisrael Northern Kingdom side we have a little more action. The first king is Yeravam who is followed by his son Nadav who is then quickly killed by Baasha. Baasha’s son Alah takes over for him and is killed by Zimri, the rebel who then killed by Omri and thus starts the next long line of Israel kings with his son Achav. Achav’s two sons Achazya and Yoram take over for him at the same time that Yehoshafat and his son Yehoram are kings. And with the marriage of Achav’s daughter who is Achazya and Yoram’s sister to Yehoram the son of Yehoshafat the kingdoms come together for a short time until Yehu wipes them all out. Got it?

 

So after Yehu killed out Achazya and Yehoram the one left standing was the daughter of Achav; Athalia. And if you thought her mother Izevel was bad, listen to what this kid did… She kills out her grandchildren Achazya’s children in order to take the kingdom for herself. A real bubby from hell… She almost succeeded in achieving her goal and who knows where it would’ve gone, yet Hashem has a plan. She has one grandson that gets hidden away by his aunt, Yehoram’s daughter Yehosheva and places him in the holy of holies. There Yoash the one good king that was truly righteous hides out under the protection of the Kohen Gadol, Yehoyada.

 

This child Yehoash will herald in a new era in the kingdom of Yehuda. If you thought that Shlomo was young becoming King at age 12. Stay tuned next week to learn about the 7-year-old king Yehoash and his rise to leadership.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE HOMECOMING JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

Dave and Samantha Levy were on their first trip to Israel. They rented a car, had all of their guidebooks ready and had a full itinerary for their 10 day stay. One day, Dave and Samantha stopped for lunch at a falafel joint. Dave asked the guy working there.

"What's the quickest way to the Dead Sea?"

The falafel owner scratched his head.

"Are you walking or driving?" he asked.

"I'm driving,” replied Dave.

"That's the quickest way!"

 

What’s the difference between an Israelite and an Israeli? About thirty calories.

 

Why did the orange take a prune to homecoming dance?… Because he couldn’t find a date!

 

Why didn't the skeleton go to homecoming? because he had no body to go with.

 

I was at my homecoming dance when I noticed a kid in the corner looking miserable. Feeling bad, I went over there and asked him what was wrong? He responded that no one would ever want to dance with him because of his wooden eye.

Upon hearing this, I made it my mission to find the boy a dancing partner. After a couple minutes of looking, I found a girl crying out in the hallway. When I asked her what was wrong she said hat no would dance with her because of her peg leg.

I then went back to the boy with the wooden eye. In a couple of minutes I was able to get him to work up the courage to ask the girl to dance. As he approached her I felt pretty good about myself; that is until I heard what happened next.

The boy asked the obviously excited girl to dance. She was so thrilled she responded, "Would I, Would I!"

The boy responded "Peg leg! peg leg" and stormed away.

 

 

How do they determine the homecoming queen and valedictorian in Palestinian high schools?

The homecoming queen is the girl with the most teeth, and the valedictorian is the person who could count them all.

The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story."When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert. When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content. Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.

“I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"

The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"

"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."

Dave Rosenberg recently made Aliyah to Israel and was still getting used to the new bureaucracy. One day, he received a very strongly worded "second notice" from the Israeli Tax Authority saying that his taxes were overdue. Dave ran down to the tax office, paid his bill and said apologetically that he must have accidentally overlooked the first notice.

"Oh," confided the tax collector with a smile, "the Israeli Tax Authority doesn’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

 

Berel was a new oleh who just enlisted in the army and after a few weeks was feeling kind of homesick and asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.

The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked,

"How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"

 

An Arab, an Israeli and a Mexican are on a plane.

The pilot says that the plane is losing altitude and that the men need to throw something out of the plane to reduce the weight. The Mexican throws his collection of sombreros and the Israeli asked him why he threw the sombreros, the Mexican said

"ah, we have plenty of those in my country".

The Arab then threw his falafels and the Mexican asked him why he threw the falafels and the Arab said

" ah, we have plenty of those in my country".

 And then the Israeli threw the Arab out of the plane

 

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The answer to this week”s question is B  -. I got 50/50 on this one as well. The Bais Dovid inscription I knew well as I guide in Tel Dan where it’s located for a long time already and speak about it a lot, as it’s an incredible find that debunked much of the minimalist heretical hypothesis that Dovid and Shlomo were not great kingdoms as Tanach described and perhaps were just small tribal chieftains. They came to this view because they never found archeological finds from their period, just from before and after. But upon finding an inscription that said the house of David far up to the North it proved that they were wrong. The second part of the question though I got wrong. I thought Yad Avshalom was first Temple period when it in fact was second temple. There was an old Jewish custom that parents would bring their children there and stone the monument with stones as they believed that it was the statue that Avshalom put up to memorialize himself as he didn’t have any children. There are different traditions who really is buried there. Some said Agrippas the king, othere say it went back to first temple period- which was my confusion claiming it was Chizkiya’s grave or Yehoshafat who we’ve spoken about in our Tanach column. Christians also have a tradition about this grave as well. But who cares? Regardless it was certainly 2^nd Temple architecture, so I was wrong.   So I got it half right on this question and score is now Rabbi Schwartz having a 2.5 point and the MOT having 1.5 point as we start this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.