Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
September 12th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 45 20th of Elul 5785
It was a short trip last weekend to the States. As the title of last week's amazing E-Mail noted it was "In and Out". I think I spent more time in airports then I did on the actual ground with about 10 different flight delays and two flight cancelations as well as a few hours sitting on various tarmacs waiting to come home. It kind of felt like the geula/ redemption process that our nation is going through now. We're all packed and ready to go. We're ready for that heavenly flight to take-off and bring us home, yet we're stalled on the tarmac. The flight keeps getting delayed.
Our luggage, as they announced for one of the flights, was imbalanced and had to be reorganized. Really?!!! Is that really a thing? I'm flying over the ocean in a 300,000-pound (I chatgpt'ed it) metal box with wings and my 50-pound suitcase (ok 51.5 lb I snuck in a few extra stuff that Shani ordered) is it really gonna make a difference here on which side of the plane it's leaning on? Yet that's kind of what it feels like, at least for me, as I and most Jews have been waiting for Mashiach and that real shofar blast. When are we taking off already? When are these flights going to stop getting canceled? Can you just stop these delays and take-off already? I'm ready to come home.
Now to be honest and in reflection, it wasn't only my trips home that seemed to be delayed. My Wednesday evening flight to America was also delayed for a few hours sitting in the Ben Gurion airport waiting to leave and was eventually canceled as well. I ended up having to go back and sleep in Yerushalayim and fly out on Thursday night instead. It's as if Hashem was as well trying to delay my exile from Eretz Yisrael as He did to our nation before the destruction of the Temple. He shlepped out our stay there. He didn't want to let us go, despite how nuts and sinful we were.
Even after the destruction of the Temple, readers of the "Era's and Places" column below know, Hashem wanted to still keep us and our community there. He even arranged that we should have Gedalya be Achikam appointed as our Prime Minister and to still have us around. We were the ones that messed that up. We were the ones that ultimately picked up and left on our own. If Hashem wasn't providing flights, we found an exit route to Egypt, maybe even paid a Jordanian taxi driver a lot of money to "escape" us. The last remnant of the Jewish nation left to Egypt on our own self-inflicted exile. Hashem, on the other hand was trying to keep us on the tarmac as long as possible.
To be honest as I left the airport after my flight was canceled it felt like that tear-filled hug I always get from my mother before I went to camp as a kid, and bizarrely yet heartwarmingly even today as a 50 something year old man. It feels like she doesn't want to let go. That has within it some fear that perhaps she won't see me again. That maybe didn't trust me in camp, or even today as well, to manage and survive on my own and come back to her. That was the last experience at the end of the second Temple. It's what it felt like when I was trying to leave to Israel just to go to my nephew's Bar Mitzva last weekend. That delayed and canceled flight was Hashem's hug not wanting me to get on that flight.
Now, on the other hand my delays and cancelations for the return trip felt of a different nature. Almost the opposite one. It was like, hey, I'm ready, camp is over, I want to come home. But the flight was just not taking off. Nobody was coming to pick me up. Admittedly, I woke up late that morning of my return flight. I ran out of the house and jumped into my brother Gedalia's car in about 5 minutes flat and raced to the airport to make it on time for the flight that never left. It felt like when the Jews left Mitzrayim and I didn't even have time to shower and pack my sandwiches for the road, that I had planned to do the night before hand. We made it to the gate at 5:23 AM, 2 minutes before check in. It was miraculous. I had only woken up at 4:49 and made it to the airport and gate in ummmm… I dunno you do the math. I'm still suffering from jet-lag. Yet, upon arriving in Newark for the connecting flight back I hit the delays. I was stuck at that last stop before I could finally come home. I prayed it wouldn't be for 2000 more years in Exile this time. My wife and kids were waiting for me.
Yet Hashem in His ultimate kindness, even when He delays me in Exile looks out for me. He wanted to make it comfortable. He had sent me an E-Mail that I noticed that I have a free lounge pass that I could use. I didn't have to sit in the gate and scramble to find an outlet for my computer or charger for my phone. I didn't have to pay a million dollars for a coffee, a drink, or some nosh. It's all free in the lounge. They even had a shower there, for the one that I didn't get to take in my rushed exodus from Virginia at 5:00 AM. There are couches there I could lie down on and even Kosher food as well. Although it wasn't as good as all that trayf stuff they were dishing out. It was a nice lounge. I got very comfortable there. I almost forgot about my flight and return to Israel.
So I sat there on the couch and learned my Daf. I learned my Oraysa. I studied Torah, I listened to a shiur. I was comfortable in Galus. I forgot I was in an airport. I forgot about my wife and kids. My flight. The Bais Hamikdash. Maybe if I stayed here in the lounge a bit longer, they would even bring me out a kosher meat board. They were friendly to me there… the goyim. But then the news on the big screen came on about anti-Israel protests, Hamas mayors of the city. My flight got announced and I remembered where I was and what I had to do. And so I tucked in my tzitizis, made sure my baseball hat covered my yarmulka grabbed my very heavy hand luggage (all of Shani's stuff that she ordered on Amazon that didn't fit into my already overweight suitcase) and made my way to the gate.
Getting into my seat on the plane, I joined the murmurs and conversations of my fellow passengers. "Stinkin' United!" "This always happens with them". "They cancel flights, they make excuses, they're unreliable" I knew I should've flown El Al. Sure they charge a million dollars for a ticket. Yes there's no one ever to talk to over there. So, their flight attendants aren't the friendliest, to say the least. They all still feel like Army officers that bark orders to you and expect you to forget about how much you paid for a ticket, because they want you to know that they are doing you a favor by flying you. I always thought that at the end of the flight the pilot would get on the mike and announce. "Thank US for flying you on El Al, We hope you understand that we had plenty of other options of passengers to take on this flight instead of you. You should thus feel lucky and grateful and hope that we take you again next time in the future" But y'know what? At the end of the day, they fly. They take off. They bring you home. Even your luggage usually makes it as well, most times. But United… Forget about it. They're just horrible. They do this all the time. I'm done with them… I'll pay the money.
And it was with these thoughts and voices that I opened up my Chumash and began to read the parsha of Ki Tavo el Ha'Aretz, of Hashem's description of how we are meant to return to the land. The mitzvos we need to do. The messages that will bring us home. The lessons and essential-although bizarre, rituals that we need to do as we come into the land. And you know what He tells us? He wants us to fly "United". In fact that's the only airlines that will actually bring us home.
But before we get to our parsha, I would like to take you on a flight back in time for a little layover to our first exile from the land of Israel. We're going to make a short stop in Beit El. As we fly over, we can look out of our window and we can see Yaakov Avinu. He's tired. He's on the road. His red-headed psychopath brother is out to murder him. He's violating those UN agreed upon accords on that deal we made and signed with him about the birthright. He wants to be the leader of the free world. He wants to make Esau great again. He wants Yaakov to follow his directives. He wants the holy land to be open for all religions, all faiths, all deviant behavior, while Yaakov and his descendants' step in line and do what he orders them to.
It's been rough for Yaakov running away. Along the way, he loses everything. Elifaz hijacks him and takes it all. Penniless, tired and chased out of his home, like most of his descendants will be, he just wants to take a nap and sleep it all away. And there he takes 12 stones and uses them as a pillow. Rashi tells us that the stones started fighting amongst one another, which is always annoying when your pillow does that while you're trying to fall asleep. Each one yelled "The tzadik should rest on my head." I'm the most righteous of stones. I'm the only one worthy of being the pillow where that ladder from heaven will ascend. Those other rocks over there, aren't as frum as I am. They don't even wear black hats. They serve in the army. They eat chalav stam. They have smart phones. Hashem doesn't love them. He hates them. He doesn't need them. They're not my brothers. I'm the only rock that deserves the Shechina to reside on me. And that's how galus begins.
When Yaakov awakes. When that shofar ringtone rang on his cellphone, he is amazed. The rocks all became one. "This is Beit El" he exclaims. This is the gateway to heaven. To return to come home. It's when all the 12 rocks become one. When we realize as a nation that we are all brothers. When we understand that the shechina doesn't, can't and won't reside on any of us if it can't reside on all of us. The only ticket home is on "United". Hashem tells Yaakov take those 12 stones that became one and make it an altar for me when you come back here. Don't become back until your own 12 tribes and stones can become one as well.
That same story that takes place with Yaakov repeats itself with his children. The 12 tribes go down to Egypt divided. Yosef is sold out by his brothers, because he's not frum enough. He thinks he will be the king and everyone has to bow down to him. He's the only one that's right. Yehuda, gets dumped by everyone because he's got his own personal scandals and he didn't do enough to prevent the kidnapping of his brother. Certainly not enough to bring him home. Maybe it was just to cover up for his own personal scandals with the champagne and cigars or with the signet ring and staff or whatever. When does the process of return begin? When they get together again. When they take responsibility for one another. When they hug, embrace, forgive and become one. When they know what airlines they need to fly back on.
Which brings us now to Ki Tavo our journey to that airport that we are flying home from. Last week's parsha Ki Teitzei concludes with the mitzva to destroy Amalek. It's not just to destroy them. It's to remember to hate them. In the words of the Rambam its to awaken the hatred and loathing for this nation. Hashem wants and demands we hate them until today. Here's the Rambam.
Rambam Sefer Hamitzvos 189; "We were commanded to remember what Amalek did to us — that he was first to do evil against us — and to hate him at all times; and we should arouse souls by words to fight him, and we should urge the people to hate him, until the command is not forgotten, and the hatred is not weakened, and there is not lacking from souls as time passes.
Hashem wants us to hate. To really want to kill all of them. All the time. Want to know what that looks like? Take a look at Hamas, at Hezbollah, at the Nazis. See that constant hatred that doesn't die out in their eyes, in their dreams? That's how Hashem wants us to feel about Amalek.
Do you know why? Because the only person that can feel that type of hatred and loathing and desire to kill every last one of them, is if the enemy killed their brother, they burnt their sister, they tortured their father, they're holding them in a dark tunnel in a cage and starving them to death. Somebody that has that being done to their brother or son and daughter and doesn't feel that hatred and desire to kill that enemy, is themselves a broken person. They don't feel connected to their own child, their own sibling, their own parent. Amalek did that to an even greater degree. He disconnected us from Hashem. He divided us and picked off a few chilonim that were sitting at the border. The weak ones. He divided us and thus Hashem's throne can't be complete. Thus, he accomplished his goal of turning us into cold uncaring rocks. Each of us worried only about ourselves. Each one thinking that the "tzadik" Hashem b'kol d'rachov, Our Father in heaven only needs to rest His "Head" on Jews that dress like me and follow my Rebbe.
The way to change that is to be filled with passion. To be filled with hatred. To feel that pain of our brother. To stop being a lone cold dead stone. To feel connected to the generation that left Mitzryaim and feel that anger at what Amalek is doing to us. What it did to them. What he's doing to our Father in heaven, who just wants to rest His pillow on all 12 of His stones united. Amalek made us cold, they removed that passion and love from one another. The only way to get that back is to be filled with rage and fire against them for the honor of our people and our God.
40 years later in the wilderness, our next "United" layover we're looking down at the banks of the Jordan. We're at our Parsha of Ki Tavo. They're calling us to the gate. We need to check in our luggage. Hashem announces that we are not allowed to take any sharp instruments with us to cut any rocks. Instead we need to take 12 big rocks with us. We need to take them together. Each tribe with their own rock. We need to put them together and make a mizbayach and sacrifice and rejoice together. Their own pekeleh. We need to cross the Yarden with them. We need to shlep them up to Har Eival with them. There we stand as one nation UNITED and take full responsibility for one another. We won't infringe on anyone else's portion because every yid had their place. We won't try to harm another person secretly, we won't take bribes, we won't change laws for orphans and widows or converts. We'll help those that are blind; physically, or spiritually. We bring our Bikkurim and remember that story of Yaakov back in that first exile and how it all started. We recognize that we are all one first born nation and we're done fighting. And then we hear that last terrifying Mussar schmooze, about all the turbulence that we've gone through and will go through on this flight if we sit in the lounge too long and forget about why we were chosen and where we're supposed to come to.
Rav Hirsch explains that the reason why the rocks couldn't be cut with a knife is because we are meant to realize that each yid is complete. They don't need to be cut down. If we are united and those stones become one and we see each yid as an uncut perfect stone upon whom the entire Torah is written then we will achieve the blessing and the Promise. We will not have any war. The redemption will come. We will finally be happy before Hashem. Happy as one. Happy with One. The Ksav V'Kabalah takes a different approach then most of the Rishonim who understand that the entire Torah is written on those rocks. He suggests that rather it was just one chapter that encompasses the entire Torah. It was Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad. The entire Israel recognizes and sees and reveals the Oneness amongst us and the Oneness of Hashem that shines from us. The Unity. United- Echad.
This Saturday night we Ashkenazim begin saying selichos. We enter into the last week of the year 5785 one of the most devastating years in modern history for our nation. We read the tochacha- rebuke and curses out loud so that it will be an omen that the year and its curses should finally conclude. Our flight is ready to takeoff. 5786 is our flight number. They're boarding now. Let's go greet Hashem in His land United.
Have a heavenly Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Der gleichster veg iz ful mit shtainer."-, The straightest path is full of stones.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
NEW EXAM THIS WEEK!!! JANUARY 2025!!
Let's see how I do, come and take it with me….
1. In Haifa, there is a public debate about the means of removing wild mammals that
penetrate the urban space. The animal in question is ___________
I see thousands of storks flying north. Which season is it?
A. Summer
B. Winter
C. Spring
D. Autumn
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneshama-lach –I'm very excited!! In honor of Rosh Chodesh Elul and Selichos I share with you my latest composition (the first one in over a year!!) the beautiful Ha'Neshoma Lach arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy- this song is the perfect song to get into the Elul mode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nie8pyKhjQQ&list=RDNie8pyKhjQQ&start_radio=1 – I haven't been able to get this song out of my head all week since I've heard it from Baruch Levine amazing composition from Reb Chaim Gershon Davis- Shehu Noteh Shamayim Emes Malkeinu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RXIZMzwl1c – Charlie Kirk May Hashem avenge his blood a true lover and supporter of Israel on Shabbos!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNzuwQz1V5E&list=RDnNzuwQz1V5E&start_radio=1 – Yosseleh the Holy miser redone in Hebrew with great story and song by Shulem Lemmer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMOa2ASgYTQ&list=RDwMOa2ASgYTQ&start_radio=1 – beautiful High holidays medley by Hesder Yeshiva Yerucham
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Nevuchadnezzar's Dream of our Exile - 583 BC - With the Jews exiled to Bavel and Egypt we turn this column to the period of our exile, which really doesn't take place in Eretz Yisrael, but we'll see if we can make some connections. Our story turns to Nevuchadnezzar who was sitting in his palace 3 years after the destruction of the Temple an he has a dream. Being the most powerful King of the world with all nations bowing to him, Hashem revealed to him what the future for him and the rest of our history would be. Just as Pharoah so long ago with our first exile, it all starts with a dream. A dream that is interpreted by a smart humble and blessed Jew, here as well Daniel will be called to reveal to the King the meaning of his dream and what was to come.
The dream was that of an idol that had a golden head, a chest and arms made out of silver, a belly and thighs of copper and ankles of iron. The soles of the feet though strangely enough had one of iron and one of earthenware. The idol stood on a large pillar until a stone popped off and knocked down the entire statue from the bottom and it all distingrated into thin air. Pretty freaky,
Nevuchadnezzar woke up and forgot his dream, although it terrified him. He called in all of his wise men and interpreters and it seems they couldn't put the Humpty idol back together again as they couldn't tell what the dream was. They explained their problem by of course blaming the Jews. It was only while the Temple was around that the Jewish people had the holy spirit and Ruach Hakodesh to interpret dreams. Since it's been destroyed there's no more transmission down here. Nevuchadnezzar thus got very upset. It always seems to happen when one kills the Jews that they realize how much they needed us. He therefore got very angry and decreed that all the wise men that allowed him and advised him to destroy the Temple to death. Along with them were the four Jewish advisers Daniel and his buddies Chanania Mishael and Azarya. Aryoch the executioner locked em all up and got ready to sentence them to death until Daniel stepped up to the plate and declared that he believed he could save them all, if given the chance. Aryoch grants his request and next week we begin the prophecy of our exiles and exodus with Daniel's first and eternal prophecy.
Is there any connection to this story here in Israel. Well, the small Gush Etzion village is named Neve Daniel after, a convoy that was killed that had the same name in the war of 1948. And that convoy was named after the prophet Daniel. As well there is plenty of museums in Israel that have replicas of idols from that period, although certainly not that one. Finally there is though in Salt Lake City Utah, what is known as the Gilgal sculpture park that actually has a sculpture of that idol as described in Tanach. I know Salt Lake isn't Israel but it's called Gilgal and the Mormons think it is so that's close right…?
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE AIRLINES JOKES OF THE WEEK
An Israeli News reporter is at the airport, writing a piece on the rude service reputation of El Al airline pilots. She approaches Dudu the Israeli Pilot captain and asks, "for my article, can you please tell me the last time you were rude to a passenger?
“It was 1959“, says the pilot.
"Oh wow, that long ago?" she responds, "I thought you airline pilots held a reputation as very arrogant rude men"
Dud looks at his watch and says "Well, considering it's only 2025 now..."
Mendel was travelling for Yom Tov to Israel for the first time on a El Al.
“Would you like dinner?” the cabin crew asked.
“What are my choices?”
“Yes or no.”
Which airline has the smelliest planes? Incontinental Airlines
A blonde rings up an airline and asks: "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute".
The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.
United Airlines will treat you like a King! Rodney King, that is.
I am looking for a name for my airline exclusively for bald people. How about "Receding Airlines"?
How do recognize an Israeli airline pilot in the room? ohh, he will tell you.
"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.
Say "Unreliable Airline" three times fast.
Delta
Delta
Delta
As a crowded El Al airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.
Have you ever noticed that all airline Captains have the same last name? Every public address they make beings with: “Welcome, this is your Captain Speaking...”
Rushing up to the EL Al Airlines ticket counter. Yankel gasped, “Ma’am, please help me. I have to get to Israel in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to her right and said, “Sir, that would be Delta
Ed Christie, CEO of Spirit Airlines, walks into a bar. He says to the bartender “Can I have a draft beer?"
The bartender says "Sure thing. That'll be .50¢"
He replies "50 cents? That's really cheap!"
The bartender looks up and finishes with ."....and it'll be $3 for the glass, $4 if you just stand, $8 if you want to sit down, and $3 each time to use the restroom
.
My wife called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.
“Sure,” they said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”
They further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. My wife was taken aback: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
Guy was your typical arrogant Israeli suave looking passenger and he sat down next to a pretty woman next to him for their long flight to America. He turned to her and said "Hey did the arilines charge you extra to sit next to such a handsome man?"
She took one look at him and said "yeah… but I didn't want to pay…"
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The answer to this week”s question is C- OK, it's a new year coming up and a new exam and I'm off to a good start. The part A was easy for anyone that follows the News and as you know I'm a bit of a junkie. The wild boar plague the city of Haifa, coming out of Mt. Carmel where many of them roam and terrorizing the city. This was particularly true during Corona where they were all over the place. Part II was also pretty easy, in fact I was just by the Hula Valley last week, which is the second largest Bird Migration in the World. In the Fall, over a half a billion birds can be seen migrating from Asia and Europe down to Africa for the Winter. And in the Spring they head back up North after the winter back home again. So got the first one right making the score Rabbi Schwartz 1 and Ministry of Tourism 0. Let's see how long I can keep up this streak.
