Karmiel

Karmiel
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Showing posts with label afikoman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label afikoman. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

The Goat in the Middle of the Room- Pesach 2023 5783

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

April 4th 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 25 14th of Nissan 5783

 

Pesach

The Goat in the Middle of the Room

It’s the elephant in the middle of the room. Or to be more precise it’s the goat. It’s that thing that’s sitting there and everyone is just continuing along as if there’s nothing strange. Just going about their daily activities and pretending like it doesn’t exist. It didn’t happen. Everything is normal. As I reviewed my Hagdda before preparing for this big holiday coming up, that was the thought that struck me,. How come nobody is talking about it?

 

See, it’s not like Pesach is a time when we don’t talk about things. In fact there’s probably no time of year when we talk more and engage in conversation. It’s a mitzva to talk this evening. Some suggest that the even the name Pesach is a conjunction of two Hebrew words Peh- Sach- the mouth talks. We start off our Magid by the Seder with the story of the great Rabbis in Bnai Brak that spend all night talking and we say it’s praiseworthy to talk and talk and talk… It’s a Rabbi’s dream night. We love to talk. Yet, perhaps the most obvious subject that one would assume we would be talking about is not even mentioned at all. It’s as if we pretend it never happened. It’s bizarre, after-all it’s the whole reason why we were there in the first place.

 

See, ask any child why it is we were in Mitzrayim? How did we get there? What was the reason we were sent out of Eretz Yisrael where our forefathers lived for centuries and went into this first exile of ours? They all know. We learned it in first grade. We read the parshiyot in the Torah. They were unforgettable.

 

It was because the brothers sold Yosef down there. Remember that story? There’s quite a few parshiyot that talked about this at great length. It’s the exciting parshas that make up the entire 2nd half of Sefer Bereishis. Pharaoh, Yosef, Potifar, The butler, the baker, pits with snakes, accusations of being spies, of treason and of stealing goblets. There are those dreams that were fulfilled; Yaakov’s mourning, set-ups and frame-ups… How come we’re not talking about any of this? It’s as if someone censored this most important part of the story of our coming down to Egypt out!

 

The truth is it’s really an almost “un-Jewish” approach. We always try to get to the root issues of why Hashem brings tragedies upon us. The first Temple was destroyed because of the three cardinal sins; Idolatry, Adultery and Murder. The second because of Sinas Chinam- baseless hatred. Everything else that ever happened to us in the past 2000 years of Exile, all the persecutions, the pogroms, the Crusades, the Expulsions and Inquisitions are because of the internet, social media, long shaitels and smartphones… Obviously… So how come on Pesach nobody seems to be talking about the reason that seems very clear for why this all happened? We sold our brother down to Egypt. We didn’t respect one another. We don’t get along. We have serious family issues.

 

Now don’t make the mistake of thinking that there’s way too much to talk about in the Egypt slavery and Exodus story alone and that we don’t want to make this night any longer and too confusing for anyone. Because in fact we do seemingly trace back our history. Not only our history. We go back to Terach Avraham’s father, we mention Yaakov and Uncle Lavan, we even throw in Esau for good measure- although how he got into the picture I still don’t know. But then seemingly at what seems to be the most essential part of understanding the story of how we got down to Egypt in the first place, Poof! we jump over to being slaves. Or perhaps I should say we “skip” over it… Maybe that’s why it’s called Pesach. Or maybe not… It’s a “woke” censored, politically corrected Haggada and Pesach story. It takes talent and deliberation to leave this out and not mention the Yosef story. What’s going on?

 

Thinking about it now for a second, frankly the name for the holiday Pesach is really quite a strange one. The names that best describes the holiday should be more than about the one small fact that Hashem skipped over our houses that night and didn’t kill us. First of all why should we have been killed in the first place? Second of all, to put in it modern day perspective, let’s  say that the Nazi’s are coming to kill us and then Hashem wipes them out, and He doesn’t hit our house and that becomes the name of the holiday? Really...? How about Redemption Day! Miracle night! Retribution Evening… Skip? Sounds like we could use some good marketing and branding on this Title. Would you ever title the film about Yetzias Mitzrayim, “Skippy”?

 

OK, so the truth of the matter is I’ll tell you a little secret here. This might sound revolutionary, but you don’t come here and read this long E-Mail for the usual “same-old- same-old” you read everywhere else. So here goes. You can handle the truth. The holiday of Pesach is not only named after the fact that Hashem skipped over our house that night. As I said it doesn’t make sense that is should be. In fact, if you don’t believe me, check out the Torah. Hashem commands us to take the Pesach sacrifice and it calls it that even before He tells us He skips over our house. It’s called a Pesach for Hashem. A skip for Hashem?

 

Why else is it called Pesach? Rather it’s because of the sacrifice. It’s because of the goat that we slaughter and dip it’s blood in a pail called a “saf” and then shmear it on our two doorposts and on the lintel. It’s because that night of Pesach we are all locked in our house. We are all sitting there with our families. We are all around the table, while havoc is wreaking outside. And we look at that doorpost on the front of our house and we watch the blood drip…drip…drip… on the sparkling clean freshly waxed floor. Drip…Drip…Drip…

 

I heard an incredible idea from Reb Motti Alon recently that gave me this perspective of that Seder and all Pesach Seders that I have never had before. That truly changes everything. See, we are told that when we left Mitzrayim only 20% of our nation merited to leave. 80 percent of Klal Yisrael weren’t worthy of going out. They liked it better there… They didn’t have what it took. And so they died. They died in the Plague of darkness; we are told so that the Egyptians shouldn’t scorn us.

 

Do you know what 80% means? It means that there wasn’t a family, basically, when we left that wasn’t in mourning. That hadn’t lost someone or maybe even a few family members in that pandemic. We were all in Shloshim that night. And we were all locked up in that room, in that house and we were looking around at the same seats at our Pesach feast and watching that blood drip down. The whole family was meant to be together…but we weren’t. We were missing a few that died. We weren’t complete. Our brother wasn’t there with us. Why did this happen? What is this night all about? How can we be redeemed? Drip…Drip…Drip…

 

Do you know what that blood reminds us of? Do you remember the last time we slaughtered a goat and dipped something in its blood? Do you remember when we sold our brother Yosef down to Egypt? Rabbeinu Manoach suggests that we start off our Pesach Seder with the act of Karpas even before we get to the Matza because Karpas- a strange word- comes from the word Pasim- like the Ketonet Pasim-the colored coat of Yosef that we removed from him and dipped in blood. The blood we dip on the doorpost the Torah tells us repeatedly that we scoop out of a “saf” a pail. Also not a common word. But it kind of sounds like “Yo-sef”… right? You know what we did after we sold Yosef? We sat down to “eat bread” The Unkelos translates the words “we sat down” as we “reclined”. Sound familiar to anything we are doing this night? That we just did before Karpas as we drank our first cup of wine and are about to break out the matza….

 

We stole Yosef from his father and right after Karpas…isn’t there a little stealing action going on? Another strange custom, as we steal that afikoman… that broken matza… the one that reminds us of slavery… the brother that’s not with us… that was kidnapped… that is the Pesach offering replacement symbol  called the Afikoman. We’ll see that matza fragment at the end of the Seder again by Tzafun. Do you know someone who was called Tzafnat Panei’ach – the revealer of the hidden? The title that was given to Yosef in Mitzrayim. It is the last thing we need to eat and rectify and return to our father before we are finally redeemed. To our Father. Are you getting it yet? Drip…Drip... Drip…

 

The Seder is all about putting us there again. But rather than our father Yaakov in mourning and the pain and suffering we caused him. We are mourning. We’ve lost our siblings. We even have an egg of mourning that many have the custom to eat at the Seder. It’s even the same day of the week that Tisha B’av falls out on. There’s no reason to talk about the causes of being sent down to Mitzrayim. It’s dripping from our doorpost. It’s the goat in the middle of the room for the past few days. Its us sitting in middle of Shloshim for our dearly departed who aren’t here to celebrate with us.

 

The word and title for this holiday… that Hashem tells us it’s called is PeSaCH- Pesach can be read as Pas- again as the Ketonet Pasim that is on the Ches shape of our door post. Two sides mezuzos and the lintel on the top is the shape of a ches. The Ketonet Pasim- that goat-bloody cloak is on our doorpost as we sit in mourning all night long looking at it and remembering why we’re here. Why some of us aren’t. Why we’re in mourning and what we need to do to be redeemed. And that is when the process of the Seder starts with questions. Why…? How…? Questions that we’re not even meant to give answers to. Questions just so the children will ask. Just so that they know we are listening to them. We hear them. We’re together with them. We’re a family.

 

Pesach, our Exodus is a story of our redemption and becoming a nation. The perquisite to that happening though is that first we have to become a family. We have to undergo what they call in modern Hebrew “Tipul Mishpachti”. We have to resolve our family issues. A nation is only as strong as the families that it joins together. Every house is a Mikdash Me’eat- a small temple. The doorpost is our Mizbayac- our altar - this night where we sprinkle our blood-in case you didn’t get that. If the purpose that we were meant to leave Egypt was to build Hashem a Temple and home here on this world, we first have to get our own house where His shechina shines from together. Seder night is when we do that.

 

Our Avoda on Pesach is to hear one another. To talk to one another like never before. To listen to our shared goals, our concerns, our fears, our traumas, our hopes and aspirations and values. To hear each other’s questions and to talk about and validate and even connect to each other’s dreams. It’s what we didn’t do when Yosef came to us. He came to us with his sheep. With his goats. With his dreams. He was searching for his brothers. It’s what his father sent him to do. It’s what our Father wants us to do. And we failed.

 

We didn’t see king in those Ketonet Pasim, and we didn’t see the “King” that is inside of him and inside of every yid; in all of our brothers and sisters. The spark of the Melech Malchei Ha’Melachim in each of us.

On this night we are all kings and we need to see that in one another. We treat each other like kings. We pour water, wine for our fellow kings at the table. We recline with them and we dip with them.

 

At the same time we are as well poor with them. We are slaves with them. And we bleed and mourn with them. We’re smelted in that iron furnace, the concentration camps, and the never-ending terror attacks and persecutions of the Egypts of our Exile. This is what we need to undergo to bring us together. It’s how we can fix our families and our homes so that Hashem could skip on top of them and come down to this world. So that He Himself can redeem us and shine out from our homes. From His home. There’s no work left to be done in each house for Him to come into because He is already shining out from within every family. We open the bloody doorpost that evening and get up from our mourning to greet Eliyahu Ha’Navi.  His job, our sages tell us is not to purify the impure, to permit the forbidden, to say one is good and one is bad. All four sons are together as a family in this Seder. We fixed that. His job is only to return the children to their Father. Return the Father to the children. To finally bring us home.

 

The redemption is around the corner this year. The plagues and pandemics are all over. There’s only one thing left to fix. One sacrifice and one tikkun we still have to make. The Satan is working overtime trying to divide our family. The marches, the demonstrations, the rhetoric, the hatred. We are not communicating. We are not listening to each other’s questions. We think we know all the answers. We don’t see each other’s dreams. We don’t see brothers and sisters. We see threats. We see wicked sons. We’re throwing each other into pits. We’re not looking on the blood on the doorpost. We’re missing the goat that is sitting in the middle of the room.

 

But the Satan will not win. One of the amazing things about Pesach that is miraculously built into our Jewish DNA, is that we all have a seder. We all come together as our family needs to. Each home. Each family. We are all eating matza. We are all Kings. We are all desperately hungry for that day to finally come when Eliyahu will join us. When Hashem will be with us. We can do it. We will do it.

 

Yossi my jeep driver told me this week that the one question that nobody asked in the times of the Bais Ha’Mikdash was “where are you making the seder this year”. Everyone was in Yerushalayim. We were all together. May that be the question that we don’t need to ask this year as well.

 

Have a redemptively united Pesach,

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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GUESS WHO’S BACK IN MISHPACHA MAGAZINE JUST IN TIME FOR PESACH

It’s your favorite Rabbi Tour Guide!!

Check out my latest article on the

HILLS OF EPHRAIM

SHILO!!

https://mishpacha.com/dance-of-unity/

 

And then post share, and send letters to Mishpacha telling them how much you enjoy them!

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Ver shemt zikh fun zeineh mishpocheh, oif dem iz kain brocheh.” - Whoever is ashamed of his family will have no blessings.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

18) Which red flower blooms after the anemone?

Where can you find the plants: Moringa peregrina, Salvadora persica and Calotropis procera

(milkweeds)?

A) Bible Hill

B) Ein Gedi

C) The Lotz cisterns

D) The Ramon Crater (Makhtesh Ramon)

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon   - In honor of Pesach- one of my most beautiful compositions that you really need to sing at every meal on Pesach after you get all vehi she’amda-d out or have had enough of Rechnitze’s V’Hareinu… my Melech Rachaman

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrCK7zLj2U0&t=61s   -Pesach is of course incomplete without Rabbi Schwartzes Schwartz family Shiras HaYam- in Pajamas b’emtza halayla! Vayosha…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hachaya-yehalilu   – And of course my Ha’chaya Africa animal song is always a good one to accompany your plagues…

feast!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8c-iuwpkD0   – This song is one of the most beautiful ones that we’ve added to our Pesach Seder- Chasal Siddur Pesach by Shira Chadasha… just beautiful…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prTs2rH8Ihg  – Mordechai Shapiro’s Vehi She’amada … why not…

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

 

Geichazi- 680 BC- With the miraculous cure of the leprosy of Naaman after dipping in the Yarden as per Elisha’s instruction, he becomes a Baal Teshuva. He renounces idolatry and he swears that he will return to his land and never worship anyone but Hashem. He even asks and is granted permission to take back the holy earth of Eretz Yisrael to his land to always remember the miracle and daven on it. As any good goy though, he doesn’t want anything for free. He wants to give Elisha a gift- a “blessing” for his miracle. Elisha though refuses to take anything. He doesn’t want anything to detract from Hashem’s miracle. It wasn’t him. It was Hashem. Just like Avraham our forefather who refuses to take anything from the King of Sodom after the miraculous battle he fouight on his behalf. This is all about Hashem.

 

Elisha’s greedy servant though, Geichazi is not of the same mindset. You don’t leave a potential donor behind. So he goes running after Naaman and hits him up for some silver and some clothing for the prophets. Even worse than that is that he does this in Elisha’s name and even swears to that effect. Naaman, of course dishes up the goods and Geichazi happily returns to Elisha. Yet, he doesn’t remain that way for long.

 

Elisha sees him when he comes in and gets what happened. He knows his student. He gives Geichazi a chance to fess up, and yet when he doesn’t, he gives it to him. He curses Geichazi and tells him that his ill-gotten goods are going to be the source of his grief because the leprosy of Naaman will now fall upon him. The money was given now as an atonement and now he is the proud owner of that atonement in the form of leprosy. It is a terrible lesson. It is an eternal one as well. Tzora’as befalls on one who swears falsely, on one who is greedy, who is stingy and who doesn’t have respect for sages. Geichazi is guilty of all of this and this will follow him for the rest of his life. 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ TERRIBLE FAMILY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Chaim asks his father, “What’s a man?”

His father says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”

Chaim replies, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mommy!”

 

Mom logic: If you fall out of that tree and break your legs, don’t come running to me!

 

What three words solves all of Dad’s problems? “Ask your mother.”

 

My dad always taught me to share my toys with my siblings. It wasn’t that he wanted me to develop social skills, it’s because he was a cheapskate that wanted to spend 50% less money on toys.

 

 Boy: “Dad, can you explain a solar eclipse to me?”

Dad: “No sun.”

 

Berel turned to his son and asked him “Sruli tatteleh, do you think I am a bad father?”

His son responded “ My name is Yitzy…”.

 

Daughter: Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?

Mom: I don’t know. You’ll have to ask grandma.

 

Moishe told his father “ For $20, I’ll be good.”

Totty said –“ Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.”

 

Who makes the most money from Father’s Day? Therapists.

 

Parental Truth - To Mom: “I don’t feel good” “Where’s my sock?” “Will you make me a sandwich?” To Dad: “Where’s Mom?”

 

Why is a computer so smart? It listens to its motherboard.

 

 Sweater: Something you wear when your mom gets cold.

 

Gunther the cannibal was pretty late to his cannibal family reunion... ...they gave him the cold shoulder...

 

It never occurred to me how much my parents favored my twin brother until they asked me to pick up the cake for his surprise birthday party.

 

What do you say to your sister when she starts crying? “Are you having a crisis?”

 

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. -Cary Grant

I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. -Mary Karr

Bleeding ulcers run in my family: We give them to each other. -Lois McMaster Bujold

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. -George Carlin

When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them. -Emo Phillips

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry. -Jerry Seinfeld

Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-law who is willing to baby-sit. -Anonymous

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. -Sam Levenson

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern… like bad wallpaper. -Friedrich Nietzsche

 

After nearly 50 years, my grandmother has finally gotten my grandpa to stop biting his nails. She hid his teeth.

 

 What do you call an angry French aunt? A crossaunt.

 

Shaindy a pregnant woman falls into a coma and doesn’t wake up until after her babies are born. She immediately asks the doctor about them.

“Your twins are doing great! You had a boy and a girl. Your brother named them for you.”

Like any sister would be, she was quite displeased. “Oh, no. My brother is an idiot. What’d he name them?” “

Your daughter’s name is Denise,” the doctor began. Shaindy was pleased. That wasn’t so bad.

“And the boy?”

“Denephew.”

 

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The answer to this week”s question is B –Yeah… No clue about this one… and frankly not even interested. It’s erev Pesach so I really should’ve never even wasted time looking up this answer to this one. Botany is not my thing… Certainly not the names of flowers. I’m the “check out those pretty purple flowers” type of guide and that’s pretty much all you’ll get from me. I do happen to know that Kalanit is the anememones or whatever because theyre so beautiful and all over the place. But no clue as to what grows after them. The answer is nurit or  butter cups ot raunculus according to Wiki if you care. As far as the Part II of the question I have no clue. I guessed Bible Hill but the truth is I would’ve definitely skipped this question. The answer is Ein Gedi though. And one of those things is the Sodom Apple. So I got this one wrong…. Back to cleaning for Pesach. So that makes the score as of now  14.5 for Schwartz and 3.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far…

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Jungle Time- Pesach 2019 /5779


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
April 19th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 29-14th of Nissan 5779

Pesach
Jungle Time

He He looked so cute. Those little tiny paws, that furry little tail, those tiny black spots on his shiny yellow skin. And then he bit off the head. “Uuccchhhh…”, my wife shrieked next to me on our safari jeep. “He’s chewing on his head!!”. And in fact he was. I know, because I heard it crunch. Antelope heads are a crunchy leopard evening treat.

We had seen lots of cool things the past two hours or so as we jeeped around Krueger Park. We saw a mother lion feeding 5 cubs just a few feet away from us. Totty Lion was snoozing a few trees away. Even lions know that there really is no reason for them to be woken up for this part of child-rearing. In general, they leave all of the parenting to Mommy Lion. Every so often they bring home dinner, maybe leftovers from the tour he was on that day when he went out to dinner. But they know that Dads really have no business getting involved in raising their little cubs. Mommies are much better than that. I’m not making any points here just sharing with you some interesting things you learn on a Safari.

We saw giraffes racing around, elephants fighting and goring each other, a rhino grazing around and munching on grass and hippos wallowing in pools all day. There was even a crocodile lurking near them waiting for the moms to take their eyes off their baby hippos for a second so they could grab a quick hippo snack. Dad was just sun-bathing on the other side of the pond. Again, I’m just sayin… We even ran with a pack of about wild dogs who were hunting. We tracked them by the vultures that were following overhead who seemingly like yeshiva bachurim who hover over the “head table” at the end of a Jewish wedding know, there’s always going to be plenty of leftovers to take home after the herd has eaten. At least at the head table there will.

But nothing was as cool as watching this leopard cub eat that antelope. Or was it an impala? I’m not so sure what the difference is. They both looked tasty. All of a sudden though the cub raised its head. It heard something. It quickly scampered up the tree. Our safari guy told us that it was probably a hyena. They seem to have a particular affinity for baby leopards. He noted how it was a shame that the cub ran and left his meal behind. The hyena would come and eat it. But it was like the Jews leaving Egypt. There was no time. He had to run.

But not our lil’ cub, he realized that he forgot his dinner and scampered back down grabbed that head which was bigger than him and schlepped it right up to the top of that 25 foot tree tree and wrapped it around a branch. That’s a boy! A few minutes later Mommy leopard comes out looking for her baby. It seems that she also sensed that there was danger in the area. She made sure her cubchik is alright and then packed off back to her tree to continue shluffing. Sure enough not two minutes later, who comes out of the “bush”? That’s what we cool safari people call it. None other than mister hungry hyena. He looks up the tree longingly. He curses the God that made it so that he can’t climb trees and he eats whatever scraps and bones that fell off the tree on the floor below. You snooze you lose, as the rule in the Schwartz house is. End of story, by the way, we came back the next morning and they were all still in the same spot. Leopard cub in tree still noshing on they eyeballs (ewwwww), hyena lingering around on the bottom and mommy leopard shepping nachas from the tree next door. The circle of Life. Hakuna Matata. Welcome to the Jungle, Rabbi Schwartz. (PS Check out the video I posted of above scene below-its cool!)

There is absolutely nothing I have ever done that is as amazing as spending the three days we did in the bush. To see these wild animals in their natural environment hunting, wallowing, sleeping, and eating is just awesome. It filled me with a sense of awe of the incredible world Hashem created and the natural order of the jungle. The roars, the grunts, the chirps the squeals were all a song to the Almighty. Of course, I composed a song for the occasion. Now if only Yitzy Berry would have some time for me, you might even hear it. The words were from Dovid Hamelech in psalms

Psalms (148:10) Beasts and all cattle, creeping things and winged fowl, kings of the earth and all kingdoms, princes and all judges of the earth… Will praise the name of the Hashem, for His name alone is powerful; His splendor is on earth and heaven. He raised up a horn for His people, praise to all His pious ones, to the children of Israel, the people close to Him. Halleluyah!

Being however that we are in the Pesach season and the Shabbos that we were there we read the portion we read before Pesach of the first mitzvah we were given as a nation, it gave me a better appreciation of the incredible holiday and gift we were given that we will be celebrating.
See, Pesach is not just about us being a nation that were enslaved and miraculously rescued by Hashem who punished our oppressors. Pesach is the holiday that separated us from the rest of the world. That gave us our mission to teach mankind that we were not part of the animal kingdom. That we possessed a higher purpose, that we had higher souls, that we were meant to uplift creation and that Hashem has given us a whole new world-view that was going to bring the world to its ultimate fulfillment. That lesson was taught in the prelude to the story of our Exodus with that first mitzvah; the mitzvah, strangely enough of Rosh Chodesh, the establishment of the Jewish calendar with the mitzvah of zman- time.

See, unlike the world that works with either a 365 days solar calendar or a lunar year calendar which has 354 days, Judaism does both. We count each month based on the lunar calendar and as we did this year, every couple of years we add an extra month in order to coincide it with the solar calendar and make up the missing days. That way we always are sure to celebrate Pesach in the springtime. (Unlike the Muslim entirely lunar calendar where Ramadan can some years be in the winter or summer). Now this may seem like a very technical detail, and it certainly doesn’t seem like the first mitzvah I would choose to give our nation. What about loving your friend, Shabbat, Kosher, Ummm… honoring your parents. Yet, this is the prelude. This is what we have to know before we go out of Egypt. Jewish time is different.

Reb Moshe Shapiro explains that the word in Hebrew for time, zman, is in fact not found in the entire 5 books of the Torah. The Torah refers to time as moed- which literally means an appointment. Zman in Hebrew is a similar idea to that. In Hebrew a hazmana is an invitation. An invitation to an appointment. Mazmin is to order or designate something. Zimun is when you are called to do something. These are all strange words that are seemingly unrelated in any other language to the word 'time'. But that’s because the rest of the world lives on jungle time. Let me explain.
There is a fascinating Mishna of the sage Hillel in Pirkey Avot

Prieky Avot (2:6) He as well saw a skull floating on the surface of the water and he said to it: Because you drowned others they drowned you; and those that drowned you will in the end be drowned. 

Now I don’t know if Hillel saw this on a safari or not. But we definitely saw plenty of animal skulls floating around. Guess the hyena didn’t get to them yet. But seemingly what Hillel is teaching us is the law of the jungle. It’s a dog eat dog world out there. The antelope eats grass, the leopard eats the antelope, the hyena eats the leopard, the dogs eat the leopard, the vultures eat whatever is left over… You eat and then get eaten. Time is really inconsequential. It’s just a measure of the sphere that we are passing through to the inevitable dust from which came. That’s what you think about when you see a skull floating on the river. That was the world of Pharoah and Egypt that worshiped that river, the Nile. It’s the source of all life. The powerful, rule over slaves. The survival of the fittest. Natural selection reigns supreme. We are all just animals floating down the river of life. We don’t have any Divine appointments. You eat what you hunt.

Hashem shattered that illusion in our Exodus from Egypt. He broke us out of the jungle. First to go was that river, which was turned to blood. From there it was the frogs, the sand which turned to lice, the cattle, the wild beasts all the way up to the weather, light and darkness and the death of the first-born. The hunted became the hunters, Every Egyptian met his fate. The natural world was turned on its head and for the first time the world realizes that time is not a river it is a divine appointment. Nothing happens in this world because it just flows, rather everything that occurs is because it Hashem commands it to occur at that particular point. Time is an invitation to us to participate and accomplish something in that moment. Each minute we exist is another invitation from Hashem to accept, utilize and fulfill its purpose.

We are not skulls floating on the water, we are Rosh Chodesh- the head of the month. No other language refers to a month as a head. No other language refers to a month as chodesh-which means renewed. Our prelude to Exodus was that we are being taught that we are being chosen in this redemption to bring this message of Jewish time to the world. In Pharaoh’s world time is an endless continuum. There is no beginning, there is no end. In our Exodus we were taught that there is a beginning. Our Exodus was our beginning. Rishon hu lchadshei Hashana- the first of the months of the year.

If there is a beginning, there is an end. If there is a first there is a last. In the month of Nissan we were redeemed, our sages tell us, and in the month of Nissan the ultimate final redemption will happen. We begin our Seder with the Kiddush, as we do by every Kiddush that we make, that recalls that original exodus from Egypt; our beginning. We then make an additional blessing Shehechiyanu Vkimanu v’higiayni la’zman hazeh- That since that first exodus over 3000 years ago we appreciate that we have been living a series of hazmanot- of moments after appointed moments after appointed moments that Hashem has brought us to, that has charged and invited us to participate and bring to fruition. We conclude our seder with the end of it all, the final goal and destination, the last stop on our holy safari of life. L’shana Ha’baah bi’yerushalayim. May we merit that to hear that glorious sound of Hashem raising up a horn for His people, praise to all His pious ones, to the children of Israel, the people close to Him. Halleluyah!. May we celebrate that final moed together!

Have a Roarin’ good and Kosher Pesach,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz


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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“A behaimeh hot a langen tsung un ken kain brocheh nit zogen....” An animal has a long tongue, yet he can’t recite a blessing.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q.  Palmach is an acronym (short) for:
A. Military forces of overseas volunteers (plugot mitnadvey hutz la’arets)
B. Special forces (Plugot meyuhadot)
C. Units of special operation tasks (plugot messima ve’habala)
D. Strike forces (plugot maִִhatz)

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eliyahu-hanavi– Your Pesach Seder will not be complete unless you sing this song repeatedly when you open the door for Eliyahu- Rabbi Schwartz’es most popular hit!

https://youtu.be/qervY5HSzqM   – Pesach acapella of the season Africa Lion King Awesome!

https://youtu.be/PQhlrn95Z4w     –Two videos of the leopard cub ony my safari check out mom coming and hyena. Awesome!

https://youtu.be/R8c-iuwpkD0  – No pesach Seder is complete without this song for me at end of seder beautiful chasal Sidure pesach by Shira Chadasha. .. just excited listening to it right now for you

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Pesach– So Pesach is the holiday when everyone becomes lamdanim. It’s the night of questions after-all. For those that are privileged to have yeshiva children or students in their home they all have their little notebooks full of questions they’ve prepared and they are out to stump, impress and examine the haggadah and the story of Pesach like never before. And the Haggadah of course has something there for everyone. It has questions, nuances, derivations and drashot from verses, stories with ideas that were meant to be taken apart detail by detail and of course lots of funny laws that differ from all the rest of the year. So tonight is the night for lamdanim.

The one problem though is of course the end time. Forget about the fact that the most popular question by the seder is can we eat yet? See there is a mitzvah by the seder to eat the afikoman the final piece of matza before the end of the seder and seemingly according to one of the opinions mentioned in the Talmud, that of Rebbi Eliezer ben Azaria, the afikoman which is meant to symbolize the Pesach offering should be eaten before midnight which is the cut-off period for eating the pesach lamb in the times when that was brought. Uh oh. Now here in Karmiel figure nightfall is close to 8:00 PM until everyone gets home from shul, settles in, finishes fighting over the best pillows, sings the Kadesh Urchatz song and everyone says Ma nishtana, you don’t get to the lomdushe haggada until close to 10:00 PM that doesn’t’ leave you much time to not only speak about the haggada but also to eat the matza, marror and the entire meal Mom worked so hard to prepare. What is one to do?

Now a simple idea might be to just eat the afikoman before the meal. However the wise son was just answered at the beginning of the hagada, if you remember, that we are not allowed to eat after the afikoman. So now it seems we are stuck. Because if we eat the afikoman, we can’t have anything else to eat. And if we continue talking and then rush through the meal, then Momma ain’t gonna be so happy and that’s never a good thing. And we certainly can’t rush through all the questions our children have and the great ideas we are meant to impart this one night a year.  (At least in Israel we only have one night- In America maybe you can split it up and make it work- but you might be really stuck and troubled explaining to your children why you are living there in first place rather than in Eretz Yisrael, where Hashem really wants us to be and where all the Jews who left Egypt were hoping to get to- but I digress J). So what do we do?

Now there is another opinion in the Talmud, that of Rabbi Akiva that says that one may eat the afikoman until the morning. There are authorities that in fact rule like Rabbi Akiva. Most notable being the Rambam. However the Shulchan Aruch rules like tosafot that the law follows Rebbi Eliezer, as he says one should be careful to eat it before midnight and that would seem to be the mainstream accepted opinion. Some even stating that one does not fulfill the obligation if you eat it after midnight.

So here’s where all our lomdushe exercise might have paid off. The Avney Nezer comes up with the an incredible solution. He suggests that the reason for the dispute is that Rebbi Eliezer understands that the reason one has to eat the matza by midnight is because it was at midnight that we Hashem passed over houses and we became free. Now we are not able to eat matza exactly at midnight. Certainly not the proper measurement which is almost 2/3 of a large matza.  so therefore we eat the afikoman before midnight, and we don’t eat anything afterwards so that at midnight we will have at least the flavor of mazta in our mouth. If that is the case, then seemingly after midnight one would be permitted to eat once again, because you fulfilled your obligation already. Meaning the prohibition to eat after afikoman is only until the time of eating the afikoman is up.

Rabbi Akiva on the other hand who says that you have until morning to eat the afikoman understands the mitza of not eating anything after the afikoman so one should savor the flavor of the afikoman. And therefore whenever you finish the afikoman you can’t eat anything else for the rest of the night. So to get it straight we have two debates- According to Rebbi Eliezer you need to eat the afikoman by midnight and once you eat that afikoman you are prohibited from tasting anything else until midnight. Howeve after midnight you can. And according to Rabbi Akiva you can eat the afikoman all night long until the next morning, but once you eat it the game is over no more eating until the morning.

If that’s the case then the Avney Nezer comes up with a solution. Say it’s close to 12:38 (the time for “halachic” midnight this year in Karmiel) and you just started the chicken soup and there is still a brisket waiting to be eaten. Very simple. Take a piece of Matza and say as follows, if the law is like Rebbi Eliezer than this piece of matza should be my afikoman- if that’s the case then and one than only has to wait till 12:39 and then one can continue eating. If however the law follows Rabbi Akiva, he should say then this matzah is not my afikoman, but merely a regular piece of matza. Therefore according to Rabbi Akiva one can also continue eating his meal, because he has not yet eaten the afikoman yet. Now while you do this it is very important to twirl your thumb in the air in the traditional lomdushe fashion. And you’re good to go.

If this is to complicated for you than just read this by your Pesach Seder. If it doesn’t help for your afikoman, at least it might put some people to sleep and then you can finish the seder even faster!
Happy Pesach J


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land The children of Yosef- Ephraim & Menashe 1265 BC – The Tribe of Yosef was considered the first-born of Yaakov and as a result they received a double portion. Being as the tribe of Levi didn’t receive a portion in the land the fact that Ephraim and Menashe were each given a portion makes the number 12 portions. But besides that the portion of Menashe spanned both sides of the Jordan River as Moshe placed him there to keep the tribes of Reuvein and Gad connected to the rest of the nation. Menashe being the first born of Yosef took that role of responsibility. As well being that their tribal patriarch “Menashe” himself was the first Jewish child ever raised away from all the rest of the tribes, as he was born in exile in Egypt when Yosef was sold there, they had it in their DNA to remain connected despite their distance from everyone and would be a positive influence on Reuvein and Gad.

So where are there portions? So let’s start with Menashe he basically got the entire Golan Heights, which of course used to be the area of Og the King of Bashan. That area went from North of the Hermon even into modern day Syria and Damascus where the modern city of Dara is more likely the biblical city of Adrei. It goes all the way down to the eastern side of the Kinneret to the area called Gilead, the city of Beit Shean where they bordered Gad and including where Hamat Gader is today and even into the heart of Jordan.  This portion was given to Machir the eldest and greatest fighter of Menashe and his family. The only exception of course being the daughters of Tzlafchad who despite being from the family of Machir, got their portion on the Western side of the Jordan- the heartland, because of their extreme love for Eretz Yisrael.

On the other side (or our side of the Jordan) Menashe and Ephraim have most of the center and Northern part of the country, with Ephraim having the Shomron area with the cities of Shiloh Atarot and Beit Horon as well they had a piece that jutted North into Menashe all the way up to Shechem. That was the land that Yosef was promised by his father and when Yaakov blessed Ephraim before Menashe that was the portion he was given, the burial place of Yosef. As well it seems that Ephraim jutted out to the sea as well, with perhaps a small access point. Menashe was North of Ephraim in the Shomron and included Mt. Gerizim or todays Har Bracha and included the Jezreel valley, the Gilboa Mountain range and Ein Dor the cities of Megido, Beit Shean and even the port city of Caesarea (Caesarea of course not being around then at all as it was built in 2nd Temple) and Dor south of Chaifa, if not including where Haifa is today. Basically as you drive up Kvish 6 today to the North from Jerusalem, everything on the right side of the road is the tribe of Ephraim and Menashe.

Interestingly enough these two tribes  put together that were blessed to be fruitful and multiply were the largest tribe by far. Yet even with their large space they complained to Yehoshua that they needed more room and he told them they could feel free to conquer more Canaanite land and clear the forests there. These are where the settlers are today living. It would be nice if the government would give them today that same latitude.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S WILD ANIMAL JOKES  OF THE WEEK

What animal has more lives than a cat? Frogs, they croak every night!
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? It gave a little wine.
What do you call an exploding monkey? A baboom.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Why did the lion always lose at poker? He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Yankel went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Yankel picked up his rifle, put on his hat, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said Yankel. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Berel was a Jewish dog who went on a safari with his owner Shemerel.  One day Berel the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, "Uh Oh, I'm in trouble now”. Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a Achmed the monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
When Berel saw the leopard coming toward him with the monkey on its back, he thought to himself, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sat down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they got close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey, Achmed,. I can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!" 
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Answer is D–  After a few bad weeks it looks like we’re back in the easy stretch. This question is an easy one. I’ve actually seen it on quite a few exams already, which is why it pays to study old exams because there are at least 10-15 questions per exam that they recycle. The Palmach was the strike force of the Hagana the pre-state Army of Israel. Generally, acronyms are all the rage in army-speak in this country, and I don’t even know if the other forces exist. But there is only one Palmach.   So the score is Schwartz 19 and 5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.