Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, March 28, 2025

A Day in the Life- Parshat Pikudey Hachodesh 2025 5785

 Insights and Inspiration 

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 28th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 22 28th of Adar 5785

 

Parshat Pikudey / Ha’Chodesh

 A Day in the Life


Back in my previous Tour Guide life before October 7th I very rarely would give my clients an itinerary of what we would do. I always felt that an itinerary was the enemy of a good day. I wanted to meet them first, get a better feel for what’s best for them. I didn’t want to be locked into anything in case, as usually would happen, the schedule changed. We were late, we got stuck in traffic. I didn’t want them to feel they missed out on something. I wanted them to enjoy every part of the day-which kids never do if they know that there’s something exciting at the end of the day. I liked to keep that surprise element about what’s coming next open. So there was no itinerary on a Rabbi Schwartz day. If you came with me on a tour you had to do so on faith. Trust me, or at least your friend that recommended you take me on a tour. And Baruch Hashem, I don’t think I’ve ever disappointed.

 

Well, guess what? Now the tables have turned on me. Welcome to my new life. I’m a “war guide” now. My clients are no longer tourists or even “war”ists. My clients- as I tell the good people from America, who call me daily for these “Chizuk missions” that I now do-are the people whom we visit, we strengthen, we help, we comfort and whom we donate to. They are the focus of my daily trips. They are the ones that I care about and are there to service. The widows, the orphans, the soldiers, the farmers, the families of hostages, the wounded, the hurting and the bereft. Everyone else with me in the minibus or car are just coming along for the ride. They’re just carrying the luggage. The luggage filled with all of the heart, tears, love and money that we are delivering. My real clients are our brothers and sisters in pain that we will be visiting.

 

The problem though is that Hashem has a funny way of also not planning itineraries for me. He has His own ideas about where I’m should be going and He doesn’t like to share them with me either. It’s payback time for all the clients I had in the past, that I made go through that trial of faith before starting a tour with me. He’s not telling me, just as I never would tell them. Mida k’neged mida- Tit for tat. But just like a Rabbi Schwartz tour. I’ve learned in this daily process He’s been putting me through, He never disappoints me with a less than spectacular miraculous day.  

 

Every tour, every day, it’s another adventure. You’ve read some of them already in these weekly missives that I somehow try to pass off as a Dvar Torah- so you don’t feel too guilty reading it in shul in the middle of the Rabbis speech or kabbalat Shabbat. But this past Rosh Chodesh Adar Hashem was feeling exceedingly joyous He decided to have some real fun with me as He rachets up His “surprise-here’s-where-you’re-going-next” factor.

 

I woke up Monday morning with a day that I had “somewhat” planned- which is pretty much all I ever feel I could do. I had a basic outline and schedule which included picking up my clients at 9:30 AM from the Waldorf, heading over to the hospital to visit some soldiers at 10, I was going to visit a hostage family at some point in late morning and take their son to a carnival for evacuated children that I was hoping my clients would be inspired to help sponsor after meeting him. As well in the evening I had made up to bring pizza to soldiers for Rosh Chodesh  and sing and dance with them a bit and be home back in Jerusalem about 8 or so. Sounds like an amazing day right? I thought it did and was quite proud of myself for putting all those little pieces together to make it happen. Things had clicked. Hashem had gotten me all the right appointments I needed. The timing seemed great. Little did I know that He was just playing with me. He was having some pre-Purim Rosh Chodesh Adar fun with His Yeled Sha’ashuim- Ephraim Schwartz- His personal little play-toy.

 

I woke up that morning to go to davening to the sight of an empty parking spot where the mechanic who had taken my car a week ago and had promised me that I would see my car in the morning, as he would leave it there for me. Well, the car wasn’t there. I called him up frantically and listened to his Israeli excuses about why my car wasn’t there. The truth is I really didn’t listen. It was irrelevant. I needed my car. I had tourists to pick up. What was I supposed to do? He did the Israeli “ahh jahst tek ah Ohto-buuuz to mai houzzz in Givat Zev”. I wasn’t taking a bus in the morning in traffic. I didn’t have time for that. And that’s how I knew that my day was already going to be different. Here we go again.

 

I walked out of the BNB that I stay by to try to get a cab and lo and behold one just pulled up just as I exited. Ok… that’s nice and convenient. The cab driver asked if I had ordered him, I told him I didn’t, to which he responded that he really wasn’t working then. He had just come to have coffee with his mother up the block. I begged him to give me a ride to Givat Zeev to get my car. It was strange that he wasn’t jumping at the fare, but I just wrote it off to typical “I’m -doing-you-a-favor-by-taking-you” Israeli version of customer service and gratefully got into his cab.

 

 I was wrong though. Because as we started to schmooze, he told me that he really doesn’t work that much anymore at all. He pretty much stays at home most of the time. You see his son was murdered at the festival. Not only was his 24-year-old son Amit killed, but his son’s fiancé Nurell and her sister Roya were killed there together with him. I slowly started to understand why my car wasn’t where it was supposed to be parked this morning. Hashem had other plans for me today.

 

While we drove to Givat Zeev where he lived, his wife Orly who pretty much hasn’t left the house in 5 months called. She didn’t sound in good shape at all. He told me she hasn’t slept more than an hour or two straight a night in the past few months As well his 22-year-old son Omer called in. He had a dream last night that his brother came to him and he told him that everything would be b’seder. I didn’t know that I was the b’seder Hashem had sent. But now I did. I told Yossi, that I would be over later that night with my group of chizuk givers and thus my crazy day on Hashem’s plan commenced.

 

After that I jumped in my car and quickly davened at Belz down the block I rushed backed to the Waldorf. I had to pick up my people to go to my appointment in the hospital with the soldiers. At least I thought I did. It seems I was wrong though. See, because about 15 minutes away my hospital contact called me to tell me that they were running late. I would need to push off my visit for an hour. Hashem was generous and gave me 15 minutes to pull this off, and so I quickly called my friends in Chabad of Katamon where they make about 3000 sandwiches a day for children of refugees and reservist wives who have enough on their plate- excuse the pun and asked if they needed a hand or two for about an hour to help, which of “course” – another pun there, they did. Good. Baruch Hashem! Making sandwiches this morning just became part of our itinerary, I told my tourists as they got in…

 

 As we were wrapping up the sandwiches- these terrible puns keep coming- quite literally. They called again from the hospital to tell me that I had another hour to fill as the soldiers we were meant to meet were not yet out of therapy. Hashem is really playing with me here… I quickly made a phone call and whadaya know? My good friend at Eretz Chemda was relieved to hear my voice, as he just got 20,000 pairs of tzitzis just dropped off by the army for soldiers that needed whatever hands and time I could spare to help make. So now we’ve got tzitzis making on Hashem’s itinerary. OK… I’m flowing with this…

 

Finally, we finish the tzitzis and are making our way to the hospital. The visits with the soldiers was incredible . The soldier’s stories were one after another mind-blowing. What they’ve done. Their passion. Their faith. Their sacrifice. What they’ve lost and how much they want to keep doing and seeing this through until the end. By the third soldier however I realized that my plans were going to have to change again.

 

See one of the couples that was supposed to come with me and help sponsor the carnival I had planned to join had to cancel and didn’t come along that morning. The one woman, Ilana, who did come was my only potential sponsor left and I really wanted to take her to this hostage family. They really needed to meet her, and she really needed to meet them. They needed her special neshoma and chizuk that she could give. But she had told me in the morning that she needed to be back at her hotel at 2:00 PM, as she hadn’t really spent time with the grandchildren she had come to visit. Well now, because of all of the delays it was not going to happen. It was already 1:15 and I wasn’t going to be able to make it to their house and have a meaningful visit and get here back on time.

 

All of this is racing through my brain as we’re meeting our last soldier and he’s telling us about how he was injured when the building he was “clearing” in Khan Yunis had been blown up by an RPG. As he’s talking and I’m already giving up hope and planning in my mind to just take her back to the hotel and go with the other family to visit the hostage family and figure out how to pay for this carnival, the soldier says something that catches my ears. He tells us how not only was he wounded in Gaza, but in fact he was at the Nova festival as well on October 7th and he was rescued heroically under fire, by a security guard that was incredible and was good friends with his other friends there.

 

Would you believe it? The guard that helped his friends and him was none other than Rom Breslavsky the hostage in Gaza whose mother we were on the way to meet, She really didn’t have too much information about her son from and since that morning when he was taken. She didn’t know what a gibor he is. I videoed his story for his mother and Ilana with tears in her eyes turned to me and told me that she is obviously going to come with me to the hostage family so she could be there to give it to her personally. Hashem had His plan and tour and she was on board!

 

So we headed out to their house blown away that out of all of the soldiers in the world, Hashem found the one that he wanted us to meet to bring this video to his mother. He even rearranged our schedule a bit so that we would have the perfect timing to meet him. When we arrived, it was perfect timing as well. Sivan, Rom’s aunt had just gotten there with the younger brother Ziv. And yet much to my surprise Ziv decided that he wasn’t interested in my carnival, and he ran off to the mall with some friends. Oh well, no carnival now…

 

The truth is I didn’t really have a sponsor anyways at this time, but now once again I had to make new plans. While Ilana and the other family were talking to Rom’s mother who was really emotional about the video and their meeting, I was on the phone trying to figure out where I was going next. Baruch Hashem my farmer Shachar said that he would be able to meet with me as he had lots of lettuce and greens that he needed help harvesting. So I thought at least I was good to fill up my former carnival slot until our soldier pizza delivery. Perfect! Thank You Hashem! But I was wrong. Hashem still had fun in His bag to play with me. This was just another part of His game.

 

We left the Breslavsky family after our emotional visit. Ilana and the family exchanged numbers and promised to be in touch-which is really the most important part of our visits. These families need constant chizuk and the meetings we have are really for my good people from America to adopt the people that we meet and to be their lifelines. About 20 minutes from Beit Shemesh though on the way to the farm, Shachar my farmer called me to tell me that he had to apologize but he got called out and wasn’t going to be able to meet with us. I turned my eyes to heaven at that point and just smiled. Hashem is really in an Adar mood. v’nahapoch hu meant that he was going to turn around my whole day.

 

Desperate once again for something to do I made a quick call to my friend from the Beef Jerky boys in Beit Shemesh and asked if we could come on over and help him out prepare and package some good cow for our chayalim, so they have some basar in the belly when they wipe out Amalek. It’s hard to really get into the spirit with tuna fish from their army rations. He was a little hesitant as he had another group there at the present, but once they left, we would be fine. So we could come over and hope for the best. I was beyond hope. I had faith. Hashem was driving our day and He’s usually on target and doesn’t waste any of my time. And I was right.

 

Just as we pulled up, the other group packed out (actually I had the wrong address and by the time we got to the right address the other group was literally just walking out!).We had a blast slicing and preparing the beef Jerky knowing the soldiers would be getting the necessary protein they needed that evening thanks to us and then we popped out to daven Mincha with the boys. When we came back though Chani, the mom on our group told us that she now understood why we had to come to the Beef Jerky instead of the farming. For she had been given a new job while we were davening which was to put stickers on each bag that they had just printed up. The stickers had the names of hostages that one could daven for and have in mind when they made their blessings. The stickers that we were putting on today?  None other than Rom ben Tamar’s! Hashem had sent us there so I can send Tamar a video of them so that she would know that even though Ephraim Schwartz and his friends may have left their house. But Hashem had not forgotten about them or Rom. He was still with them. She still could have faith and chizuk.

 

From there it was off to pick up the pizza for soldiers and bring them some Adar cheer. It was fun, amazing as it always is. You can’t imagine what a few slices of pizza and the knowledge that appreciative Americans flew across the ocean to bring them can do to build our army’s morale. Finally our incredible day on Hashem’s itinerary concluded going over to Yossi my taxi driver from the mornings house where we hugged, cried, comforted and sang with him,  Orly and their son Omer over the loss of Amit.

 

Yossi told me as I was leaving that after that cab ride in the morning (which felt like a year ago) he spoke to Amit’s fiancée’s grieving father, Menashe, who had lost his two daughters and they both decided that this was a sign from heaven that they needed to do something more for the neshomos of their children. They had already put out a Tehillim, birkat Ha’Mazaon and even a Tikun klali, yet today they decided they were going to do the ultimate memorial. They were going to try to raise money for a Sefer Torah for their massacred children. We were the first to contribute to this new campaign, that Hashem had decided was an important part of His plan. And thus our day came to an end. The story and book is over. Welcome to my life.

 

On that note this week’s parsha is also the conclusion of a Book; the book of galus and geula- exile and redemption, as the Ramban calls it, the book of Shemot. Our book started off with us going down to Egypt. With names. Each Jew, each family. We are each special. We are stars that Hashem counts. The book concludes however with the final verse that tells us that Hashem is with us in all of our travels. He is there l’einei kol beis Yisrael b’kol ma’aseihem- the cloud and the fire of Hashem is there day and night wherever we go. It’s a strange verse and ending. Parshat Ma’asei which enumerates our travels doesn’t come until the end of Bamidbar. At this point in time historically we were a few days away from Israel. What travels? Where were we going? Why is this the end of the book of redemption? We’re still in Galus. We haven’t come home yet.

 

The answer is because the function of redemption, the purpose of the Creation, is when we realize and experience that Hashem is with us in all our travels. Hashem doesn’t need a home down here. It’s quite nice up in heaven. He created this world so that He could be with us. So that He could live with us. So that He could hold our hands on every trip, on every journey, in the darkness of night and in fire and in the morning in the light. The Mishkan isn’t and never was about a building campaign. It was about the shechina residing in each and everyone of us… always.

 

Each and everyone of us, find out in this week’s final ‘closing credits parsha’, has every screw, every bolt, every pillar, every gold, silver and copper accounted for. There’s nothing left over. Each person’s donation is there. That’s what this week’s boring parsha is about. Nobody stays for the ending credits of a movie. Well, almost nobody stays. The mother whose child is the screenwriter, the 10-year-old boy whose father was the extra in that street scene. They’re waiting to see their names in lights. We each play in an important essential part of the parsha, in the Mishkan. We each have a contribution that is mentioned and accounted for.

 

The parsha tells us Hashem is walking with us every day. He’s journeying with each of us all the time. He’s got your sandwich for gan in the morning with Rabbi Schwartzes crew from America to make it, even though you might think Hashem abandoned you when He threw you out of your home or your father is fighting in Gaza. He has your tzitzis taken care of and made this morning even though you may have never worn a pair before, despite the fact that they don’t sell any in Khan Yunis where you’re serving.

 

He’s going to visit you in the hospital and the shechina is resting on top of your bed. He’ll even let you send a message to the family of the security guard who saved you and give them strength. It’s not a big deal for the Creator of the World. He’s right there with you. He’s actually Planned the entire day around you. That is redemption. That’s the book that we concluded. We are the credits that are scrolling down the screen. We are the names and Shemot that went down to exile and we are each the precious stones on the breastplate of the Kohen and the bolts and brackets of the home of Hashem. The movie is almost over. The last names are gone, the final sacrifices Hashem took from us that are sitting next to His holy throne of glory are waiting to accompany that shechina down here to its final eternal resting place. Chazak Chazak Vi’nitchazek!


Have a smashing Shabbos and a happy Rosh Chodesh Nissan.

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

 

************************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

" A mayse uhn a moshl iz vi a moltsayt un a tsimes.”- A story without a moral is like a meal without a sweet dish.


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

13. The name of the border crossing through which Palestinian Authority citizens cross into Jordan

is ______


Which of the following most accurately describes the regime under which the residents of the Gaza

Strip lived between 1950 and 1967?

A. Egyptian military rule and Palestinian civilian rule

B. Full Palestinian autonomous rule

C. Government by virtue of a mandate of the United Nations (UNRWA) under Egyptian

supervision

D. Full Egyptian military rule


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H8Newq1BMc   – Yaakov Shwekey’s latest moving song in memory of all of the fallen “Kaddish”. The video has the faces of the fallen as he wears a Talis with their names on it… may Hashem’s name become great as He avenges the blood of our fallen brothers and sisters.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrVGFm2feMg -  one of my most favorite old classic Shabbos songs that not enough people know. Levi Falkowitz sings V’hareinu… What a song…


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLlt17euqqw  -  Must watch video of the most mind-blowing responsa of Reb Chayim Kanievsky on living in Eretz Yisrael…. Only watch if you’re brave enough to listen to Daas Torah..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gja1y9y2G84 – Mi she’beirach for hostages by 613 Acapella

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-kINIg_tFI – Yehuda Green Birkat Ha’Chodesh in honor of the new month!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK


Yehoyachin, The Exile of the Gatekeepers and Craftsman- 598 BC – With the death of Yehoyakim, his son Yehoyachin becomes King. Like his father, Yehoyachin as well is not a great fellow and continues the “contzeptzia” that Hashem would never destroy Israel and His home and thus we can do whatever we want to do. Yet, Nevuchadnezzar, like most of our enemies, know that when we’re not doing what we should be doing they have free reign to do what they want. Thus, three months into Yehoyachin’s kingship, Nevuchadnezzar comes back to Jerusalem and takes him into exile as well. But before doing that he cleans out the Temple of its vessels. Yehoyachin sees this happening and he chucks the keys up to heaven. Hashem’s got them now. He’s holding on to them until our day when He can give them back.

 

With the exile of Yehoyachin, begins the exile of the entire nation. The navi tells us that ten thousand people were exiled with him to Bavel. It was the craftsman and the gatekeepers exiles, which our sages tell us were all of the sages and Torah scholars. Together with this exile went the prophet Yechezkel, whom we will talk about, as well as Mordechai of the Purim story. This galus to a large degree as well even in its curse prepares the foundation of Klal Yisrael in Bavel. For just as our first exile Yaakov sent down Yehudah to prepare a place of Torah in Egypt for when the rest of the Jews get there, here as well Hashem sent down these great men to build the foundation for what will become the great yeshivos of Bavel that will last throughout the entire 2nd Temple and of course even after that period.

 

The prophet Yirmiyahu however tells the exilees another message for what their job in galus is. He tells them that they should plan on staying in exile. They shouldn’t think that they will be returning right away. They need to understand that they Temple is decreed to be destroyed and they have to daven and pray and repent and beseech Hashem for Eretz Yisrael from there. They’re not being sent to galus for a vacation. They’re being sent there to remember and yearn for their home. To know that they are being punished. Perhaps if they would do that then they would be merit that Hashem would gather them in and bring them home. He would spare Yerushalayim. Yet, unfortunately they don’t do what they need to do. They forget and become disconnected from their brethren. And thus things begin to spiral down. With Yehoyachin gone and it’s scholars and light out of Yerushalayim, we arrive at the last king of Israel. Tzidkiyahu. The end is finally here.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE BEEF JERKY JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Sometime in the 1970s, on an absolutely freezing day, a shipment of meat arrives in a town in the Soviet Union. The townspeople, bundled to their eyeballs, line up outside the town store to wait to be given their rations. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces,

 "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." The Jews in the line leave grumbling.

 

About an hour later, the man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so anyone who is not a member of the Communist party will have to leave." More grumbling as the non-Party members depart.

 

Another hour goes by and the man comes out of the store again and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't enough meat for everyone in the line, so anyone who wasn't a member of the Party before 1956 has to leave." More grumbling as all the younger Party members leave. A few old people remain in the line.

 

Another hour goes by. It's now getting dark and it's cold. The same man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there isn't any meat. Go home."

 

One old lady in the line turns to her neighbor and says, "See? It's like I told you. The Jews always get the best treatment ..."

 

A woman's poem

He didn't like my salt beef

And he didn't like my cake.

My kichel were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't make the borsht right

He left the cholent stew.

I didn't wash his gatkes…

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and gave him a potch...

Like his mother used to do.

 

Do not use "beef_stew" as a password! It's not stroganoff.

 

I said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles.”

She replied, “Sorry... We only take cash or card.”

 

Difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef

 

I saw Han Solo crying while eating his beef. Later I asked why. He said it was chewy.

 

 I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable. One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

 

Christians, Muslims, and Jews are always fighting, but Hindus never have any beef......

 

When vegans get into an argument is it still called beef?

I have no idea. But if it gets physical, all vegans know the art of foot karate. They call it tofu.

 

I went to the store for some beef broth. But they were all out of stock

 

If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?

'American'.

 

When vegans have an argument, is it still beef? No. It’s leaf.

 

Yankel goes into a fancy Israeli restaurant and orders the main dish special of the day. After a few bites he calls his waiter over and says

Waiter! Is this a Prime Rib or Filet Mignon?

“ Can't you tell by the taste of it?” Dudu asks him back

“No!”

“Then why do you care?”

 ***************************************

The answer to this week”s question is DThis one was pretty easy. Palestinians cross into Jordan through the Allenby Crossing also known as the King Hussein Bridge. It’s called that because he refused to recognize an official crossing from Israel’s “occupied territory” to Jordan his sovereign nation. Thus it’s an unofficial crossing for Palestinians only. Part II is an important question and timely yediah to have… Gaza was under Egyptian Milliatry rule until 1967. There was no Palestine. There was no such thing as a Palestinian people. They were Egyptians- that Egypt pretty much never had an interest in having. Did the world complain about the poor Gazan’s back then under Egyptian Rule and “occupation”? You gueesed right! So anyways this is important information that the world is not interested in acknowledging. But I got it right and  thus the  new score is Rabbi Schwartz 8.5 Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far. Oy….

Friday, March 21, 2025

Post Purim Parsha Passion Parah Preparation- Parshat Vayakhel / Parah 2025 5785

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 21st 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 21 21st of Adar 5785

 Parshat Vayakhel / Parah

 Post-Purim-Parsha-Passion-Parah-Preparation

There’s really nothing like Purim. I know it’s over already, but I’m still flying high. Especially this past year with the whole 3-day Purim thing here in Eretz Yisrael. It’s just a weekend of fun of singing, of drinking and most of all for me of loving, laughing and giving. All Jewish holidays are fun and special. But Purim brings out the neshoma. The soul of the Jew emanates on all levels. It doesn’t make a difference if you’re religious or not, sefardi or Ashkenazi, Israeli or American. Old or young, male or female. Purim is for everyone. There’s really only one criterion to celebrate Purim, you just have to like to be happy.

Now admittedly, there are people, my wife being one of them that are not big fans of the holiday. I don’t think that has so much to do with not wanting to be happy, rather I believe it’s more to do with having spent too many Purims being busy cleaning up after drunk yeshiva guys and husband jumping up and down on furniture and making a lot of noise, preventing her from experiencing that true inner happiness of the day from being realized. I get that. Alhough I assured her that a shot or two might make it easier for her to make it through the day and even a little happy as well. But she’s more the take-a-nap-to-fulfill-the-ad-d’lo-yada obligation type. And if she’s happy not knowing… so am I.I drink enough for both of us anyways…

 Yet with Purim over, we turn to the next upcoming holiday, In case your wife hasn’t informed you yet, Pesach is around the corner. Only we Jews, or a God with a real sense of humor, would make a holiday where you can’t have any chametz in your home just a few weeks after a holiday when everyone in your neighborhood brought you boxes and boxes of cakes, cookies, hamantash and every other conceivable pastry and bread. In another three weeks those overflowing cupboards will have only matzos and potatoes in them. Our mission to prepare for the Redemption is to finish it all up. To leave Egypt with only matza on our backs. If you can do that, you’re redeemed. You can become the nation that gets the Torah on Sinai. If you can’t… then stay in Egypt or America with their meat boards and croissants. You’re not worthy of being redeemed. So avoda number one for these intermediate weeks is to eat a lot of nosh. Like the quail that Hashem sent us when we left Egypt and complained, it should be coming out of your nose and ears and you should be begging for a piece of matza.

 Avoda number 2 for Pesach is to start getting ready to come to the Bais Ha’Mikdash. Since it’s not yet built though, part of that job will be to brush up on some of your construction skills. It’s time to get on that plaid lumberman shirt of yours. We’ve got a Temple to build.

 Now, I know that some of you more yeshivish type are hoping for that Bais Ha’Mikdash to come down from heaven, land on that golden pimple that’s desecrating our holiest spot and hopefully smash some of those infidels underneath it. Yet it certainly seems that there is a mitzva to build the Temple ourselves as well. Some commentaries explain the conflicting midrashim of its building, by explaining that we start the work and Hashem will finish it up, Alternatively they explain that Mashiach has to come first and tell us where it will go, but we will do the building.

 Reb Chayim Kanievsky fascinatingly enough explains that the Mikdash from Shamayim that will come down is only if we don’t merit for Mashiach to come before the final time. Only if that god forbid has to happen, will Hashem have no choice but to send it down from heaven. Yet, if we merit though we can build it ourselves even before then. He therefore explains that’s what we mean when we daven that the Mikdash should be built bi’meheirah bi’yameinu- we are asking that we should merit to build it, rather than the Temple that is already built up in heaven just waiting to land down. We want the one that we will build! That still needs to be built. That’s the one we are davening for! Pretty cool…

 Yet, to be honest, despite my overconfidence in my building skills and abilities due to my early kindergarten years of making Lego houses, although to be more accurate back in my days it was those Lincoln Logs if you’re old enough to remember them, frankly construction was really never one of my strong skills. I don’t think it’s most Jews’ either. We’re more the contractor who outsources to some minimum wage illegal aliens type. Since our days back in Egypt we developed a genetic allergy to hammers, nails and drills. A goy gets a skill saw from his wife for his birthday, a Jew gets a new watch. Most of us don’t even really build Sukkas anymore. We just reuse the one that we had the year before and rearrange the schach or bamboo, or buy a pre-fab one. So the question is if Hashem has a Bais Ha’Mikdash sitting up there anyways, what’s really the point of us having to build one? I could understand that if He was looking for critiques afterwards about how He could’ve done a better job, then hey, we’re really good for that. Jews could always tell Him why He should’ve used this material or that one, or how He should really have put the Menora over there, or how He overpaid for those curtains, because I know a guy that knows a guy that could’ve gotten Him a break. We’re great at that… But the actual building? I mean He should know us better than that… If He was looking for builders, He should’ve chosen the Mexicans.

 Yet the answer is that there is actually something that we can bring to the table that Hashem can’t. I know, He’s a Kol Yachol… and all… and I’m sure if he wanted to He could figure it out as well. Yet, he already figured it out. It’s why He created us. It’s why He chose us. The one thing that we can bring that He really can’t is ourselves. Our neshoma. Our heart. Our passion. Wood, gold, silver, red dye, blue dye, copper brackets and goats’ hair, He’s got enough of. But the glue that holds it all together is our heart and our desire to be with Him and to have Him here with us. The truth is, it’s the glue that holds us together as well.

 This week we read Parshat Va’Yakhel, it’s the 4th parsha- in case you were counting- that discusses the building of the Mishkan. It’s an important topic, it seems. The first two parshiyot, Teruma and Tetzave, are the commands to collect money and the how to build it. Ki Tisa, besides the story of the Golden Calf, as well mentions some vesselsand the oil and incense used to anoint and dedicate it. This week and next’s parsha discuss the actual construction and accounting for all the gifts. There is no other subject that is discussed as extensively in the entire generally ink-thrifty Torah that’s usually very cheap on words. Most non-construction- oriented Jews like myself, whose eyes gloss over on reading these parshiyot know this well. Yet, it’s so essential and perhaps so repeated because Hashem understands that we need to get excited about this. It’s the essence of the world, the Torah, of Creation itself. It’s about the building project that we are soon about to embark upon. So, let’s take a minute to at least start getting in the mode.

 The more kabbalistic seforim, bring down in the name of the ARI”zl that each of these four primary parshiyot correspond to one of the four letters of the name of Hashem, the “yud” and “hei” and “vav” and “hei”. That’s a bit too deep for me. Yet on a simple and basic level the function of the Mishkan/Temple is the revelation of Hashem here in this world. It’s the creation and formation and realization of the joining of heaven and earth. Much like the creation of Man, back in the Garden of Eden and the birth of a baby.

 The first act is the bringing together of all of the parts. That’s Teruma- that’s the gift and uplifting.

 Va’yikchu li Teruma- take for me an uplifting

Ma;eis kol ish asher yidvenu libo- From each man who’s heart donates.

 Those words are very similar to that of the description of a marriage.

Ki yikach ish- when a man takes a woman.

 Hashem wants our heart. That’s what we bring to the table. Donations and commitments to give it all to Him. Yidvenu Libo- We give him our heart, our passion, our love.

 Titzave is the parsha of the connection. The word “tzav” actually means connection. It’s the parsha of the Kohen and his clothing. They are the veins that will transmit the life force of that spirit in the body. The Mishkan itself is the physical body while the Kohen is the ladder up and down by which we connect to Him and Him to us.

 In Ki Tisa that life force is blown into us. It’s Moshe going up the mountain. Like a kallah, a bride on her wedding day. It’s us being uplifted. It’s our heart of those shekalim donations, it’s the umbilical waters of the kiyor, the breath of life of the incense and unfortunately as well it’s the misplaced passion and singing and dancing for the Golden Calf. But it’s singing and dancing nonetheless.

  It’s a bloody and painful parsha, as most births are with Levis killing the sinners of the Golden Calf. Our nation experiences contractions. We tighten up and get smaller, before we expand again on that first Yom Kippur with our atonement, the second Luchos, and the revelation of the 13 attributes of mercy, the Name of Hashem that becomes imprinted upon us and that will always hold us out in the worst situations, bringing us back to where we need to get to. Nine months after that first 17th of Tamuz is right after “Purim”. It’s the 17th of Adar. We’re ready to be born and Mikdash is almost ready to be innaugurated on the first of Nisan. The Shechina is ready to descend.

 Which brings us to this week of Va’Yakhel. The week when we read and Moshe is commanded to bring us together as one. It’s of course a shalom zachor and so the parsha begins with Shabbos. It's bringing us back to Creation. Back to the world that first was. To the time when the Shechina walked amongst us in the garden. Shabbos is the day that we are all waiting for. It’s the day of rest and of blessing. It’s the spark that unites us all. We’re told that on Shabbos we don’t light a fire, because Hashem is that fire on that day. It’s His energy that surrounds us and brings us light and warmth. Our work is done. The Shechina is here. The pasuk telling us,

 Va’yikaleh ha’am mei’havi- and the nation completed bringing, recalls that creation, that first Friday when

 Va’yichulu Hashamayim v’eis ha’aretz- and Hashem completed creating the heaven and earth.

  V’hamlacha haysa dai’yam- and the work was enough. We’ve done our melacha. We’ve brought our part. We’ve given our heart and passion. And we go back to Creation when Hashem finished all His melacha; His work.

 Vi’haya Ha’Mishkan Echad- and the Mishkan became one. It’s like man and woman back in the Garden that became one. The baby is ready to be born. Each person that was nisa’o libo and nadva rucho- that’s heart was uplifted and spirits contributed that were bound with it.

 Va’yavo’u ha’anashim al ha’Nashim- and the men came with the women.

 Kol nediv lev- they each brought their heart, their passion. Their wedding rings and jewelry. It’s a chasuna. It’s a pidyon ha’ben when we all put our jewelry on that pillow of the baby as we redeem him. Is there any other time when Jews throw so much jewelry, then on a pillow with a baby on it, or when the kallah hands out her Jewelry to all her friends before she walks down the aisle…? So much love. So much heart and spirit. For a house is being built, a baby is coming into the world.

 It’s a

Tenufat zahav la’Hashem- a waving and uplifting of that gold to Hashem. The gold that we misplaced and the passion, heart and dancing that we use and sang for those golden calves and false gods. Now they were all here in the Temple. We’re home. The Shechina is home. The eternal Shabbos is ready to be experienced.

 It's not only the weekly parshiyot that are getting us into the mode though. The four supplementary parshiyot that we began reading before Purim as well hearken us to this mission. Shekalim is that heart of our donations. Zachor is the igniting of our national memory; our brain. It’s the eradication of Amalek. It’s the fighting against us our common enemy that is trying to prevent the Name and throne of Hashem from coming together and being complete. It’s the simcha and joy that we experience when we come together to fight against that enemy. When we stand up and stand together side by side with even the Jews that were “outside of the camp” and the “clouds of glory”, because we realize that they are also our brothers and sisters. That Amalek doesn’t care what their religiosity level is. What type of hat or Kippa they wear or don’t. What their political leanings were and who they voted for. Whether they served in the army or not. Amalek, Haman and Purim remind us that we possess the power and we were given the mandate. We can unite. We can become one and reveal the One.

 As we read in the Megilla,

Li’kahel - to gather together and unite. To get to Va’yakhel.

 vi’laamod al nafsham- to understand the essence of our nefesh. To appreciate how precious and holy our souls are. The passion and love that Hashem has implanted in us and is waiting to be brought to Him. Zachor is that bloody parsha of our birth and the contractions that brings us to the world. That lights up our brains.

 Which brings us to Parah. It’s the holy purifying waters. It’s our spiritual amniotic fluids bursting forth and removing the impurity of our exile. It’s mayim chayim, the water of life, like the water of Creation that the world was filled with. It’s the blood colored wine of Purim that has become purified, clear and translucent revealing the spirit of Hashem floating amongst us. It’s the purification of those waters Moshe made us drink after the golden calf. The mother has atoned for its child. The red passionate cow has been directed and humbled into the service of Hashem. His house can be built. We are one with our Creator and Nissan, the parsha of Chodesh, the month of Redemption, has finally arrived. But this time forever.

 On Pesach we have the bris. That covenant. We exit the bloody doorway through those mezuzos. It’s our birth canal. The angel of death doesn’t touch us. It skips over us. We’re being born. Our doorway touches the Almighty’s. Our home is His Home. His first-born has come to the world. His light can now shine forever. His name, now complete, rests on us and within us. The eternal Shabbos has arrived.

 Yes, Purim is over my friends. On Purim, we didn’t light a menora, we didn’t sit in a Sukka, we didn’t blow a shofar. We sang. We danced. We celebrated us. We were omeid al nafsheinu. We found ourselves and our simcha. Our joy at being alive and of revealing and priming up that joy and that heart that we will bring to Hashem. Hashem doesn’t appear in the Megilla. On the last holiday before Pesach, before the first month of our new era, it’s us that had to appear. It’s our heart, soul and passion that had to be revealed. May this Pesach, we finally merit to bring it all back to Him in the Bais Ha’Mikdash rebuilt.

 Have a parah-fect Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Gelt iz keilechdik—amol iz es do, amol iz es dort. -  Money is round, it rolls away from you

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

12. The first kibbutz established on the shores of the Dead Sea is ______

 What is the main reason for the Dead Sea’s high salinity?

A. The soil in the Judean Desert area is salty

B. The high temperature causes a high evaporation rate which increases the percentage of

salinity

C. Underground mineral springs in the northern basin flow into the Dead Sea and salt the water

D. Israel and Jordan are pouring brackish byproducts back in from the

Dead Sea Works

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lo-lanu  -   My Lo Lanu, the song sung by Chanania Mishael and Azaria in this week’s Daf Yomi… See column below…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_DeWoSuGMc    - From Nova to Meah Shearim Barak’s journey… Fascinating…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6CDlzDSHzM   - A Shwekey and Lipa collaboration Kadisha! Wow!!! Beautiful…

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnTuxWPHHck   – For the Rebbe Reb Meilichs Yartzeit… today!! Aderaba classic Green with Abish!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Chananya Mishael V’Azarya- 598 BC Last week we began to speak about  Daniel/ Hasach having gone into exile to Bavel during the exile of Yehoyakim. Well, being that Hashem always connects this column to timely topics, for those of you that learn Daf Yomi, this week’s blatt talked about three other exilees during this period. None other than Chanania Mishael and Azaria. They were three young men from the tribe of Yehuda who were taken into exile and were raised in the palace of the King. They became vegetarians the Talmud tells us so as not to eat the non-kosher food that they served in the palace. And despite being raised in this non-Jewish environment and not having flayshig chulent for Shabbos were still able maintain their faith.

 

Well one day after a winning some huge battles and seeing his continuing success over conquering Israel, this Babylonian/Iranian leader Nevuchadnezzar decided to celebrate by making a huge idol to himself. He builds this 60 amah high (about 150 feet!)  idol in what is called the Durah Valley. We’re not sure exactly where this is although some suggest it’s near the Durah river not far from the Euphrates. But it is in this valley where the original Tower of Bavel was built and where eventually the prophecy of Yechezkel bringing back to life the dry dead bones of the tribe of Ephraim who left Egypt early will take place. It’s all in the Daf Yomi by the way in Sanhedrin…

 There he has everyone bow down to the idol, but C. M and A. decide that they’re not doing it. What’s fascinating is that this is despite them asking the prophet Yechezkel who tells them that they should in fact bow, and Hashem won’t preform a miracle to save them either. Yet, they figure they could get away with it by mixing themselves in the crowd. And their plan could work, until some pathetic Jews snitch on them and Nevuchadnezzar calls them in and orders them to bow or he chucks them in a firey furnace.We Jews like usual are always are worst enemies….

 They refuse. He chucks them in. It’s shmaltzing hot and the Jews and guards next to them get burnt up but nothing happens to them. The Malach Gavriel himself enters in there with them and cools it off. They chilled in there like they were in an air conditioned apartment in Century Village in Boca Raton (where I am right now…). When they come out Nevuchadnezzar starts to sing praise to Hashem. All the nations of the world do as well and make fun of the goyim that try to destroy us. This is big. This is really really big. The Malach quickly smacks down Nevuchadnezzar because if he continues he will out do even Dovid Ha’Melech in his praise.  And no one wants that…

 But don’t worry there is not silence in the room. For there our sages tell us C.H. and M. sing psalm 115 of Hallel. Lo Lanu Hashem. (you can listen to my song and composition link for it above 😊) . The gentiles bow to silver and gold and gods that do not have eyes or ears and listen. But we believe in Hashem. Yisrael Betach Ba’Hashem. He is our help and our shield.  They continue, with what in our Hallel is the next paragraph. Hashem zicharanu yivareich- Hashem who remembers us we should bless. Lo ha’meisim ye’hallel K-ah. The dead can’t praise Hashem. This song we sing comes from them. It’s said the entire merit of leaving Egypt and the Hallel we recite Seder night is to recall them as well. So many of our brothers and sisters thrown into ovens over the years since then, who have not song that song of redemption of salvation. Yet they went to their deaths with Ani Maamin on their lips. May this Pesach they be resurrected and sing together with us the Hallel forever.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S CONSTRUCTION JOKES OF THE WEEK

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese man are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the large, muscular, Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

To the slightly less muscular but still large Italian man, he says, "You're in charge of sweeping."

And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

He replies "I no hava no broom, you saida to the Chinese guy that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

The foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

He replied, "Aye, ye did lad, bit ah couldnae git masel' a shuvl! Ye left thon wee Chinese mannie in chairge of supplies, bit ah couldnae fin' him onywhar."

The foreman is really pissed off now and storms off towards the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. As he approaches the mound, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the sand and yells…

"SUPPLIES!"

 Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

 Berel was sitting there at the construction site on his first day of work listening to Mario, a strong young man bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the Berel and some of the older workmen at the site. After several minutes, Berel had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."

"C’mon Jew, you're on, old man," Mario replied. "Let's see what you got."

Berel reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

 

Yankel and Chaim two construction workers are working on a street. Yankel turns to Chaim and says,

I don’t want to work anymore, I will act crazy so the manager sends me home early”.

He then proceeds to tie himself by the feet and swings around shouting,

I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Sure enough, the manager tells him to go home.

Chaim, seeing the success his friend had, decided to start packing up his things. The manager asks, “What are you doing? The work isn’t finished yet!”

To which the Chaim responds,

How am I supposed to see without a lightbulb?”

 Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.

Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

 I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.

 Got a speeding ticket the other day. There was this sign that said "Construction 35mph ahead".I figured, I had four people in the car ...

 A construction contractor buys a 10-foot Italian  Deli submarine sandwich to feed his crew. It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4-foot sandwich.

He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning. "Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"

 

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The answer to this week”s question is A Ok, so according to the correct answer given on the answer sheet I got this one entirely wrong. Although I believe that they are mistaken and I would argue that I’m right. They write that the correct answer is Ein Gedi or Beit Arava but the truth is the correct answer which I would argue is Kalya which was established in 1929. Now to be fair to them it really wasn’t established as a Kibbutz but rather as workers living center or camp for the Dead Sea products. But Beit Ha’arava which is next to it was really that kibbutz and was founded later and certainly Ein Gedi which wasn’t till the 50’s wasn’t till way after that. So I believe that I got that one right.

As well the second part of the question is also a bit tricky. Now it is true that there is a lot of salt there because of the high evaporation rate. It actually is ten times saltier then the yam because of that. Yet, it’s also because the ground and sand of Judean desert maintains that salt because there’s no place for it to flow out to. And thus it sits there and makes the water saltier. Especially if you’re a Torah believer like myself that believes that Hashem made the salt happen when he rained fire and brimstone down on Sodom over there and thus the entire mountains there are all made of salt. Sooo… Although I believe I got them both right. I’ll compromise and make this one a 50/50 with them thus making  the  new score is Rabbi Schwartz 7.5 Ministry of Tourism 4.5 on this exam so far. Oy….