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Thursday, March 29, 2018

Zaydie Maysehs- Of Sons and Grandsons- Pesach 2018 / 5778


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
March 30th 2018 -Volume 8 Issue 24 14th Nissan 5778
Passover/ Pesach

Zaydie Maysehs- Of Sons and Grandsons

So I’ve been preparing. This year my Pesach will be special. It is not often that one gets to fulfill a mitzva that you have never been able to before, especially at my late grandfatherly age. Ha! I’ve been doing Pesach Seders for a long time. I’ve had different stages in my seders. I was the child, who was fascinated to hear the stories my father would tell me by the Seder. He would not only tell us the story of our exodus from Egypt, but the personal miracles his uncle and my ancestors had experienced in the holocaust. I loved acting out the plagues; the frogs, the hail, and the wild animals. Opening up the door for Eliyahu was always fun as well and then trying to cath my father as he would run around the house and knock or pour out some wine when we weren’t looking. By the way, we never caught him, Elka and Tully. So that means that Eliyahu really does come to our house and drink wine. Of course stealing the afikoman was fun as well, although I think I’m still owed a few ToysRus trips that I should cash in before they finish going bankrupt.
 But perhaps the highlight for me would be when I got to be the center of attention as I proudly recited the Ma Nishtana in the original classic tune, much to the adulation of my parents and grandparents. As my siblings grew older and began competing and vying for that attention that really was all rightfully mine, I had to up my game a bit and recite it in Yiddish and maybe even another language. Hungarian, perhaps? This was not easy for a normally shy and bashful kid like myself….But hey, what I wouldn’t do to give nachas to my parents. Right?
Once I became a yeshiva bachur though I arrived at the next stage of my Pesach Seder experience. Pesach was a holiday to impress a lot of people with all of my shtiklach Torah that I had learned. It was also about eating a heck of lot more Matza then I had ever eaten before in my life as the yeshiva guy in me learned that you had to like stick 5 matzos in your mouth at once and finish it all in a minute and half if you really wanted to do it right and be frum. Fuggedaboutit the huge glasses of dry red wine that I had to choke down. To be extra frum as well I had to have a few different selections of Marror bitter herbs, Lettuce, Romaine, horseradish roots and stalks and freshly ground that had been hermetically sealed, so that when you merely opened it up your eyes fell out of your head. Those were difficult years of Pesach, not only for me but for my parents who patiently just went along with this, although my father did perfect the art of sleeping with his eyes opened at those long seder nights.
Fatherhood was the next stage in my Pesach Seder. I was excited. I have finally become the transmitter of the stories of Pesach. I would make it exciting for the kids. I would keep them engaged. I made plans, invented games, offered money for questions. They really weren’t that interested though. “Are we going to eat soon?”. “Shani took my pillow..” “He’s pinching me…
How many more pages...?” “I’m tiiiiirrreddd” “I don’t like eggs…” “Do I have to eat this…”At the end I just yelled at all of them, threw some of the plagues on them and told them that if they were in Egypt they wouldn’t be redeemed.  So I guess you could say it was a partial success. I got one of the 4 sons right.
But this year will be a special year. See this year I will for the first time be able to fulfill the mitzva that the Torah tells us is really the function of the entire exodus.
Shemot (10:2) l’maan ti’saper b’azney bincha u’ben bincha es asher his’olalti bimitzrayim v’es ososai asher samti bam. Viyidatem ki ani hashem elokeichem- In order that you tell in the ears of your children and your grandchildren how I  made a mockery in Egypt and the signs that I placed in them. And you shall know that I am Hashem.
The purpose of the Exodus was to tell over to your children and grandchildren. And you thought it was to leave Egypt. If Hashem wanted us out he could have just poofed us out. He can do that. The story, the plagues, the splitting of the sea all the dramatic effects. That was so that we would have good zaydie-maysehs- Grandfathers stories to tell our children.
Now I know you’re thinking that my grandson is a little bit young, and that certainly would be a concern for most 2 and half week old infants. But he is very intelligent. He laughs at my jokes, he looks up at me in awe as I learn holding him, and he has never woken me up once in middle of the night. Now I know my wife and daughter claim that he cries during the night and wakes them up. But they said that about my other kids as well, and I never heard them cry during the night as well. The one concern I had was that he is not as of yet at the stage to ask questions, and as we know the mitzva of the night is through questions and answers. Yet that is precisely the reason that the Haggada includes in his list of four sons “The One Who Does Not Know How To Ask”. That’s my grandson. That’s my Yoel Eliyahu… Or “Yahoo” as I am trying to get people to call him.
Pesach is the time to give over our and out story to the next generation. This is true. But it goes much deeper than that. More importantly that we pass our Torah down to our children. Our sages tell us that in fact the only way that we can tap into our own real sense of revelation is by experiencing it through the process of the questions- or non-question ultimately that our children ask us.  Shavuot we received the written Torah. Pesach 50 days before that Torah was given we were revealed the essence and light of the Torah. We get the entire Torah in one night.  It is the oral Torah, the Torah that is passed down from father to son.
. The written Torah is finite. It has letters, it has words, it has verses, it has pages. The Torah by which we are bound to Hashem is the Oral tradition and Torah. That is infinite. It is wider than sea. Non-Jews can translate the written Torah. Almost every religion and nation has done that. But only we can access the continuing light that is the oral light of the Torah that illuminates still 3000 years later. We get that light seder night.
The light of the Oral Torah is revealed by its endless and relentless questions. The answers are not always as important. In fact more often than not, the answer is never as good as the question is. The question intuits that we don’t have all of the knowledge. We don’t have all the light. An answer on the other hand assumes that all can be explained and understood. And there is nothing farther from the truth than that. Our finite minds can never grasp the infinite. The question though tells us that we can and always should pursue it. For each revelation will bring forth more and more light.
We go through four different sons. The holy Izbitzer Rebbe suggests, they are different stages in when we have moved further and further from Hashem.  Fascinatingly enough though he does it in an order that you may not have thought he would. From the lowest to the highest. From the furthest to the closest. From the Chacham to the one who doesn’t ask.
The chacham, the smart son may be the most knowledgeable. With that knowledge and scholarship he might have even written many treatises, doctorates and responsa on the Exodus from Egypt and the laws of Passover. But he has forgotten about the flavor of the afikoman, the sweetness and taste that is so essential. That is really the beauty of all of the mitzvos. That is what we tell him.
There is the wicked son, interestingly enough he might even be closer to Hashem than the chacham. The Rasha, greater than the chacham! Is that possible? According to the Izbitzer it certainly is. See the wicked son is at the seder. He wants to be part of it. He has just lost his way. In the 1960’s there was an article in the New Yorker magazine about the hippy movement that had taken America by a storm. The article wrote how there were thousands of Jewish kids that were flocking to this movement. They were leaving their faith, their synagogues and their God for the free-love hippy world. The following week there was a letter to the editor. I will excerpt some of the letter
Dear Editor in response to the article you wrote last week about Jewish youth leaving their synagogues because they were seeking a god-less lifestyle, you couldn’t be farther from the truth. The reasons these young men and women are leaving their respective synagogues and communities is precisely because they are seeking God. Much to our chagrin and because of the way that many of our synagogues and communities are being run, the know they will not find God in shul. . Perhaps when no one is around God may come to visit…
The hippies are are seeking God more than anyone else. They are looking to fill that void in their hearts and their souls. They want to return to that glorious image of their Creator that they know and intuit is within their souls to elevate the world to. They just don’t have anyone to lead them there.”
The letter which was printed in the back of the next weeks edition was signed by the writer, perhaps it should be no surprise who it was as there was no one greater that could see the high level of the Jewish Rasha, It was signed with the greatest love, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach.
This is what the Izbitzer explains in the second of the sons. He is greater than the wise son who thinks he has and knows it all. He is greater because he realizes that he doesn’t and that is a source of his pain.
 And to this son we are told to blunt his teeth. We are meant to tell him that there is no quick fix to finding and enjoying Hashem. You need to chew your food. Bit by bit. You can’t swallow your Judaism whole.
The next son even greater than the previous ones is the Tam- the simple one. In the Torah it was Yaakov the chosen of all of the Patriarchs who was called a tam. Tam does not meant merely simple it means complete. Yaakov, our forefather, straddled both worlds. He worked night and day in the most physical of worlds watching his father in laws sheep and goats night and day. As well he is the man of total spirituality. It is from his head the the ladder of this world goes up ot the heavens and angels go up and down. The simple son asks simply. What is this? What is a broad question. This is the specific aspect of it. How is Hashem so large, so wide so prevalent. Yet at the same time how is He so hidden? How can I at one time be so connected and at others be so distant. How can I be complete and see Him in everything. The anwer to this son is that Hashem took us out with a strong hand from the house of slaves. Hashem also needed strength to free us. To come to the most physical of worlds. You can do it with strength. Continue to grow. Continue to pray. The worlds will join. Hashem will always be present.
Finally we have the Eino Yodea Lishhol. The one who has no questions. The one who is closeset to Hashem. We have Yoel Eliyahu. I saw a story once of a mother who brought home a new baby boy home. Their four year old son was quite excited that he was getting a new sibling. His parents were a bit nervous though as he asked to be alone with his new brother as soon as he came home as he wanted to be the first to talk to him privately. The parents left young Moishy alone with his little yet-to-be named brother in his crib and listened in on the intercom as Moishy talked to his brother.
Hi dear brother”, Moishy cooed to this new baby, “I’m here already for four years, and I am already forgetting what Hashem is like, Can you please remind me?”
I heard this story and my soul began to melt. That is the difference between children and adults. It is why we are meant to experience the Seder through our children’s eyes. They are closer to Hashem. They can return us to Him as well. They can remind us of how close we once were and how close we can become. I look forward to experiencing the Seder this year through my littlest ones pure eyes. I’ve had my chacham years, my rasha years, and my simple pure years. I am ready for the next stage. Pesach night we all can jump to highest stage. We realize we are all sons of the same Father. Our questions will continue to bring Him closer to us as we await his answer this year in Jerusalem rebuilt.
Chag Samayach and Happy Pesach,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Oif itlechen terets ken men gefinen a nei’eh kasheh.”- To every answer you can find a new question

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q   A settlement founded after the creation of the state:
a. Arad
b. Nir Am
c. Holon
d. Nahariya

RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eliyahu-hanavi   - After 4 cups of wine trust me this is the Eliyahu Hanavi you want to be singing. Get on your Yahoo!

https://youtu.be/UlEipKO1fhw  – “The Greatest Passover”- Y-Studs Acapella cool!

https://youtu.be/qZ9M9d5k7uA   – 613- Game of Thrones Passover…OY!

https://youtu.be/J9Ng9-MZoxg      - Shlomo Katzes Eliayhu Hanavi which is almost as good as mine

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S HAFTORA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

The Haftorah for Pesach is one that I read for my tourists often. Those of you that have gone with me to the Dead Sea. There I stand with them, by the lookout point from Mitzpe Yericho, and we note the city of Yericho, the banks of the Jornda River where it meets the Dead Sea and the mountains of Jordan- or Moav as it was called in the Torah. I tell them about the jews that had been camped here for a whole month as Moshe spoke the entire Book Of Devarim here for a whole month. How he died on the 7th of Adar and how after the month of mourning we arrive at the haftorah of this week that discusses the crossing of the Jewish people finally into the land if Israel on the 10th of Nisan as Yehoshua split the river, just as Moshe had done 40 years prior when we crossed the Red Sea, The Haftora tells us that after we crossed it was time for the first Pesach offering, as we had not brought it in the Midbar because the men weren’t circumcised. It was considered dangerous to circumcise in the wilderness. So Hashem commands Yehoshua for the men to have their circumcision. It obviously took some recovery time, which would mean that the men would not have to do any cleaning for Pesach. Thus setting an eternal precedentJ.
The Haftorah concludes with Yehoshua meeting a mysterious angel as they surround the city of Yericho who tells Yehoshua that he should removes his shoes because he is on holy land. It then concludes with the fulfillment of Hashem making Yehoshua great as he did Moshe. The connection of the Haftora and Pesach may be more than just the story of the Korban Pesach, but rather might be how we see that the exodus From Egypt really sparked a little Moshe in each of us. Just as we see Yehoshua becomes like Moshe and splits the sea. As well each of us has that ability and that is the message of Pesach; the recognition that each of us has the potential and personally are desired by Hashem to become great and free.

Yehoshua (1270 BC) – The meaning of his name means “Hashem will save” Yehoshua ben Nun, , lived until the age of 110. He was the successor to Moses, and brought the nation of Israel into their homeland. It is believed that Joshua authored his own book with help from the High Priests, with exception to the final chapter, which was authored by Elazar and Pinchas. It is the sixth book of the Tanach, and the first book of the prophets
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Graves of Tribes of Israel- Levi (1375 BC)- Although we did mention the tradition that Levi is buried along with Reuvein, Shimon and Dina by Mount Arbel a few weeks ago. It is worthwhile particularly this week to mention him again and another tradition for his burial as his birthday is this coming week, as he was born on the first day of Pesach and his yartzeit is the second day of Pesach. Levi is also connected with the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim as he was the last of the tribes to die, and only when he did, at age 137, did the intensity of the slavery in Egypt really begin. The alternate tradition of the burial site for Levi and for Shimon his brother as well, is in the northern village of Kfar Manda. There is a well over there near the muslim cemetery where the arabs believe the daughters of Yisro are buried or Banaat Shueib as they call him. Next to that well there is a domed building where tradition tells us that a few of the Tanaim like Akavya ben Mehalel, Rabi Gamliel and Rebbi Yissachar of Kfar Mandi are buried there. I personally am anot a big fan of going into arab villages and visiting graves there, although in general in the North I wouldn’t worry that much as I would in other parts of Israel, but for the more daring of heart Pesach would certainly be a nice time to visit the grave of the last of the tribes to die on his yartzeit and to pray that Hashem take us out of our final exile.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TOP FIVE DONALD TRUMP WHITE HOUSE SEDER CUSTOMS

5. Everyone’s cleaning out their cabinet
4. Robert Mueller is the only one allowed to do bedika
3. Jared security downgraded from Wise Son to the Son Who Can’t Ask questions
2. Kids Afikomen gift: a new semi automatic assault rifle
1. “Let my People go!” changed to “Let my immigrants be deported!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S WORST PESACH JOKES OF THE WEEK

What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine
 Why did the matzah quit his job? A. Because he didn’t get a raise!!
 What army base is off limits on Passover? Fort Leavenworth
 What do you call someone who spent hours preparing the Seder plate???? Egg-zosted!
What kind of shoes did the Egyptians where during the plague of Frogs? Open toad!
What did the Red Sea say to the Jews when it was split? Nothing. It just waved.
What kind of cake do you eat after the big Passover meal? a Stomach cake
 What did Moses say to Pharoah after he refused the first plague? That was Dumb.
A Matzah walks into a bar… Bartender says: Haven’t seen you in a while, where you been? Matzah says: I’ve had some bad breaks
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Answer is A – In studying for the exams the main material I used to prepare was the old previpus years exams. They don’t often use and repeat questions but once in a while they do and if you learned it once you can usually get it. This is one of them that was repeated on my exam and was in a previous one as well. And I still remembered the answer. I was able to deduct Nahariya as I know that city was founded by German Jews pre-state and was the first vacation resort city of Israel. I wasn’t sure about the rest of them. Although I probably would have negated Nir Am as I remember something about it in the War of Independence. Turns out upon googling it was actually headquarters for Negev Brigade against Egyptians in that war. The correct answer though is Arad, which was the first pre-planned city of Israel in 1960. It was Ben Gurions pride as he saw it as being the key to the development of the Negev. Turns out it was the last development city as well. Now its full of Ger Chasidim and Russian immigrants.                    

Friday, March 23, 2018

Pesach Cleaning- Parshat Tzav- Hagadol 2018 / 5778


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
March 23rd  2018 -Volume 8 Issue 23 7th Nissan 5778

Parshat Tzav/ HaGadol
Pesach Cleaning

Nuuu... You ready for Pesach already? House all clean? What about the car? Don’t tell me your one of those that already has turned over their house and are cooking your holiday Pesachidik meals already. Your family is eating outside this Shabbos on the porch and are wearing those hazmat outfits with the scuba diver helmets when they come into the house. Yeah you’re not from my family. We’re more from the Joan Rivers school of thought in her poignant reflection
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
Yeah, we’ve still got plenty of shalach manot lying around. My darling Rebbetzin even baked Challah this week. How sacrilegious is that? No, we are not going away for Pesach. Unlike some of you that are reading this now. Because after-all if your house is not clean, and you are not going away you have absolutely no excuse “Erev Pesach” to be sitting in front of a computer and reading this right now.  I know that you can’t imagine going into Shabbos without your Rabbi Schwartz weekly fix, but really the closets have to be cleaned out. Who was it that once pointed out, a clean house is the sign of no internet service. So if you are reading this, it must mean you are going away for Yom Tov. That’s nice for you. I hope you enjoy. But really if you have enough money to go away for Pesach, why not throw a little sponsorship love to your Rabbi here. It costs a lot of money to clean out our shul for Pesach from all of the Chulent kiddushes we serve each week. So why not just visit our blog and donate in honor of the holiday, that you don’t have to clean for.
Now for the rest of us though, cleaning is essential part of the holiday. I know my wife is looking at me right now and rolling her eyes and snorting… Yeahhh.. what does the never-home, running around the country all-week-long tour guide know about cleaning? She’s right of course, but one doesn’t necessarily have to clean to know a lot about the subject. I’ve read and studied about it a lot. One doesn’t have to be a pilot to know about airplanes, or be a mechanic to know about cars, or as can clearly be seen an internet repairman to know about internet repairs; as the last five that came to my house from Hot, still can’t seem to make it work for more thatn five minutes after they leave my house and then wait a month before scheduling their next appointment. So yes, I know about cleaning. It is part and parcel of our Pesach experience. It is really the only way we can come into Pesach. See even you guys going to a hotel have to do some cleaning. It is the first law of Pesach in the tractate of the holiday
Ohr l’araba Asor bodkin es hachametz la’ohr haner- The eve of the 14th (of Nissan –the night before your seder) we search the Chametz (leavened bread products) by the light of the candle
Kol makom shein machnisim bo Chametz-ein tzarich bedika- any place in which one  does not bring Chametz does not require to be searched.
So even people going away for Pesach need to search in their hotel rooms for Chametz. Just like you can’t go into Shabbos without candle lighting, and you can’t go into Chanuka without lighting the menora, Pesach also has it’s candle lighting ceremony but it’s the night before Pesach and we take that candle and search around room to room to room to find any Chametz even though we’re pretty sure it’s been totally cleaned. A strange custom certainly. Perhaps even more perplexing is that tis can really be entirely avoided. See at the end of the search we make a declaration that states that all the Chametz that we have found or even those that we have not found should be nullified and be considered like the dust of the earth.  That works. It’s gone. Poof. Even if I have a whole pizza hidden underneath my bed. My nullification makes it that its gone, it doesn’t belong to me and I am considered Chametz free. If so the lazy yeshiva guy asks with the twist of his thumb in the air, then why bother cleaning in the first place. Just be mevatel it- nullify it and make it ownerless.  Good question and I would tell you to wait until the seder to ask it, as we do all questions. But I’m scared if I do you will not clean your room, and then you will miss out on one of the most inspiring parts of the holiday. So here we go
Not every year, does Parshat Tzav fall out the week of Shabbat HaGadol but it does so quite often enough. As we know the Torah portion of the week will always have a connection to the week’s events, if not Rabbis will find one, that’s our jobs. To make the connections and links that you don’t have the time, energy or imagination to do so. You’re too busy cleaning for Pesach. It’s why they pay us the big bucks…or not. Well anyways this week it’s really not too hard as the first mitzva and the introduction to all the sacrifices is that mitzva of Terumas Hadeshen; cleaning out the ashes of the previous days offerings. That’s how the kohen’s day starts off with, with a trip to the ash bin. Even more significantly the Torah tells us that as he is doing this he must be careful to maintain and not extinguish the eternal flame that is on the altar.
Vayikra (6:2-5) Command Aharon and his children saying this is the laws of the Olah offering, it stays on its falme on the altar all night until the morning and the fire of the altar should be kept aflame on it.
The Kohen should be on his linen garments…and separate the ashes from what has been consumed by the fire…
And he should remove his clothing and put on other clothing and take the ash outside of the camp to a pure place.
And then in case you forgot…
And the fire on the altar should kept burning; it shall not be extinguished.
Fascinating isn’t it. The first mitzva of the sacrifices is to take out the ashes and “clean out the Altar”. The fire will burn eternally there, but don’t knock it out when you are cleaning out the ashes.
The great Rebbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi would tell his students that is his Rebbi the MAgid of Merzitch told him repeatedly that the Torah is telling us that we are each like the altar of Hashem that has Hashem’s eternal flame burning inside of us. We are obligated to light that fire and maintain it despite the fact that ultimately a heavenly flame would come down to consume the offering. Yet we have to light our fire down below. There is a problem though. There is a lot of ash that builds up. Former sacrifices that became shmutz. The dirt that darkens and blunts our flame. We have to uncover it. We have to remove it. That’s our daily avoda- service. That is the mind set of how we start off each day.
There are so many lessons in this mitzva, I”ll just share with you a few. The first is noted by Rav Gifter. He sees that the fact that the Kohen is obligated to change his clothing as Rashi notes is to teach us that one does not pour wine for the King in the same garment you cook in. Rav Gifter notes though that following that metaphor one can argue that it is not the same person who cooks who is also the butler of the king. Yet, by the Jewish people it is different. We can take out the ashes, clean up the garbage, and then merely switch our clothing and go into the holiest places and bring our offering. It’s because we have that eternal flame. We are always holy, it’s merely clothing that got dirty.
Another idea, is that the ashes the dirt, the shmutz, the Chametz that blocks us from seeing that light must be removed, but when we remove it, we need to be careful not knock out the flame. The knee- jerk reaction for someone who sees and acknowledges the sins and mistakes that we have done is to throw up our hands. I’m hopeless. I can’t change. I can’t get rid of it. It’s too dirty. I’ll never be clean. By doing that we extinguish the flame. Yes we have to clean. Yes we have to find all our dirt and try to get rid of it. Yes we have to take a candle, a light. The Light of Hashem, the light of our Torah and examine every room inside of “our house”, our mind, our actions our deeds. But never allow that search to knock out the flame. Because at the end of the day, the fire comes from above. We really just need to clean out a small little place for it to rest and to shine forth. We just have to search for “as far as our hand can reach:” But at the end of the day we need merely to nullify it in our heart. We just have to declare that it is not ours anymore. We have to identify it as the “dirt of the land”. Then we will be free. Then we can have our seder. Then we can shine that light out to the world.
Aren’t you excited about cleaning now. Aren’t you glad you read until the end. So get back to your cleaning. But here’s a little Pesach tip to make it a bit more meaningful. With every scrub, with every dusting, with every vacuum and polish, think about your soul. Picture that inner flame getting brighter and brighter. It may not make your house any cleaner faster, but it certainly will set you free.
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 This week's Insights and Inspiration is sponsored by my parents, the new great-grandparents of Yoel Eliyahu Berger in gratitude to Hashem upon the occasion of reaching but another wonderful milestone in our lives. As well it is sponsored in honor of the upcoming birthdays of their daughters Gitty and Rivky and their grandson Tviki Schwartz on this upcoming holiday. We are so blessed with so much nachas from all of our children, grandchildren and great-grandchild, May Hashem bless all of you with all the things that you desire l’tova.
Mazel Tov!

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SHABBOS SCHEDULE
CANDLELIGHTING- 6:25 PM
MINCHA/KABBALAT SHABBAT-6:40 PM
 SHACHARIS-8:30 AM
MINCHA-6:10 PM
MARIV- 7:40 PM (10 minutes after Tzeit HaKochavim)
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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Varf nit arois di shmutsikeh aider du host di raineh.”- Don’t throw away the soiled until you have the clean.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email

Q   From where did the “Etzel” fighters depart before they stormed the Acre prison?
a. Shuni
b. Hanita
c. Atlitai
d. Ramat Raziel

RABBI SCHWARTZ COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/eliyahu-hanavi   - In honor of my grandson Yoel Eliyahu and the upcoming holiday of Pesach and the haftora of this week I share with you everyones favorite Rabbi Schwartz composition Eliyahu Hanavi!

https://youtu.be/4XePEM8-wJQ – One minute late- Rabbi Yoel Gold incredible inspiring story

https://youtu.be/mhCHeFac16I – La La Land Passover

https://youtu.be/8WX8PWKYuvk    - Aish love the taste of you Passover video


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S HAFTORA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

This is the last prophecy in the 12 latter prophets. It is the prophecy of Eliyahu Hanavi heralding in the era of Mashaich. It is no wonder that this last prophecy was not only chosen as the haftora before Pesach, as this is the holiday more than any when we feel the imminence of the redemption as we commemorate our first Exodus from Egypt. In fact that the entire Shabbat, known as Shabbat HaGadol- the great Shabbos, is named after this Haftora and its words of the
“great day” of the Messianic era. Yet just as the Exodus from Egypt came as a result of the Jews choosing and having faith to leave behind their idolatrous ways and separating themselves to worship Hashem, so too it will be when Mashiach comes. Malachi tells us how the Jews will have to make a choice to serve Hashem or they will be consumed, while the sun will shine and heal for the righteous. As well our Haftorah shares with us perhaps one of the most important mitzvos and the only challenge Hashem says we can and should make with Him. To give your tithes to Tzedaka.
Malachi (3:10) Haviu es kol Hamaaser el beis haotzar-bring all your tithe to the storage house
Vayehi teref Bivaysi- and let it be sustenance in my Temple
Ubachanunu Na Bzot amar Hashem Tzvaot- and you can test me with this
Im Lo eftach Lachem es Arubos Hashamayim- If I will opne for you the windows of heavne
Vharilosi lachem  bracha ad bli dai- and I will pour for you blessing until without end
Pesach more than any time of year, we are told that there is a mitzva called Maot Chittim. To provide money for matzos and the holiday needs of the poor. At the same time this is a pretty expensive holiday for us as well. It is now that we read the haftorah to have faith and test Hashem by continuing to give our charity and tithe and He guarantees we will reap His blessing. Anyone wanna sponsor an email next week? J

Malachi (520 BC) – His name "My Messenger." But who is he really? Unlike other prophets whos names are mentioned in other books. Malachi is only mentioned in his own book. As a result of that many suggest that Malachi is the name of another prophet.  Chazal, our sages, suggest that he is Mordechai. The same one from the Purim story. Others suggestions are the he is none other than Ezra the scribe as he mentions as well as fighting against intermarriage.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Graves of Tribes of Israel- Binyamin (1275 BC)- In researching this grave I uncovered or unburied to be precise a whole new appreciation that opened up a whole world of understanding in many challenging Talmudic statements. See the grave of Binyamin the youngest of Yaakovs’ children according to many testimonies of travelers to Israel over the centuries is that he is buried in the city called Roma. They describe visiting that place here in Israel. Bet you never knew that Israel had a place called Rome did you? Well it’s actually not too far from my house right near the valley of Netufa. The truth is it is clear from the Talmud that there was a palce in Israel called Rome as many great Rabbis are reffered to as “min-Romaya” coming from Rome. In addition the Talmud tells us that the great editor from the Mishna Reb Yehudah Hanasi would get visited secretly by Antoninus (Mark Antony). It even says that he had a secret tunnel that went from “Rome” to Tzippori to Rebbi’s house where he would sneak over to visit him. Well we all know that you can’t make a tunnel from Rome to Israel, but you can make one from Rome in Israel which is only a few miles away from Tzippori. And in fact it is suggested that Rome in Israel was where Antoninus would live when he came here. As well we are told that Rebbi Yosi ben Kisma the great Galilean sage said in the name of Eliyahu that Mashaich is sitting at the gates of Rome. Rome again being the one over here. The Zohar suggests it is even the gateway to Gan Eden. Pretty amazing, how much more understandable these Aggadas are once you realize that Rome is in Israel.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TOP FIVE CLEANING QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” ― Phyllis Diller

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.” ― Erma Bombeck

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”― Roseanne Barr


You must know that it is by the state of the lavatory that a family is judged.” ― Pope John XXIII  (one of the reasons I ‘m not Christian..)

And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”
― Dr. SeussThe Cat in the Hat

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S CLEANING JOKES OF THE WEEK

Abe goes to see his boss and says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow for Pesach and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Abe," the boss replies. "I just can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss." says Abe, "I knew I could count on you!"

Yitzhak wanted to clean his Tallis before Pesach. So he called his friend Lionel to ask which dry cleaner to use.
Lionel said, "I always take my tallis to Moishe’s Dry Cleaners on Main Street. He only charges $4." 
But when Yitzhak went to Moishe’s, he discovered that the shop had changed ownership and was now called Kelly’s Dry Cleaners. He asked the new owner, Sean, if he was keeping to the previous price list. Sean assured him that he was. Three days later, Yitzhak picked up his tallis and was given a bill for $12. 
So he says to Sean, "I thought you said you met Moishe's prices?" 
"I do," said Sean, "$4 for the prayer shawl and $8 to get all the knots out of the fringes!" 

Shaindy was less than an immaculate housekeeper. One evening her husband Moishie returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Shaindy turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."

Yanky wanted to prove that he would be a better housekeeper then his wife Leah was suggesting that if only she would organize her time better she would be more efficient. Recently he sent  Leah away and decided he would show her as he put his theory into practice.
When she came back to see how he was managing, he proudly told her, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."
She was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than her, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."


Five year old Yoel Eliyahu squealed with delight when he opened his birthday present from his Zayide. It was a water pistol. He promptly ran to the sink to fill it.
"Dad," Yoel’s mom, Shani said. "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used make such a mess and drive you crazy with water pistols?"
I smiled and said, "Yes, I remember."

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Answer is A – Akko Prison many of my tourists know is one of my favorite places in Israel. It’s a great story and really one of the most important places that led to the foundation of Israel and the decision of the British to leave. Although I have said the story many times, I still wasn’t sure about where they left from. But I guessed correctly through power of deduction. I was pretty sure Ramat Raziel wasn’t around when it took place, and I knew it was named after the founder of the Etzel, the underground army that broke out. So I guessed they just threw it in to mess with you and I was right. Atlit had its own breakout story and I figured it was also a red herring. Hanita and Shuni were the two left. And since Hanita had its own story as being the first choma and migdal story, I figured the right answer was Shuni. And I was right!+