Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, July 29, 2022

Puzzles and Gizzards- Parshat Maasey 2022 5782

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

July 29th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 42 1st of Av 5782

 Parshat Maasey

 Puzzles and Gizzards


One of the most satisfying moments of being privileged to tour people in the Holy Land is that moment when we are standing somewhere and I’m telling them some story, an idea, some Tanach lesson or even show and point them out something fascinating along the way that we are driving. It could be a tree or a rock or even a name on a sign. Suddenly I see their faces change. It’s like a lightbulb pops up on top of their head. They smile and they turn to me and say

Ahh… so that’s what that is!” “That’s where it took place”. I’ve learned this so many times and now I finally see it”.

It comes to life. It’s real. And that glow of satisfaction that shine from their face when the pieces all connect is amazing. It makes it all worth it…every single day…


 I remember hearing a story about Rav Baruch Ber Leibowitz who had spent a lot of time studying the laws of slaughtering animals and their various organs. He one time walked into the kitchen and saw a bird’s gizzard on the table. In our family this is called the pupik. My mother would tell us this was the belly button. Chickens don’t really have belly buttons, I realized at a much too late stage in my life. They’re hatched. But anyways, Reb Baruch Ber saw that pupik and he’s said to have exclaimed with joy.

 “Wow!, OMG! This is the holy kurkevan!”

 (That’s what it’s called in Hebrew).

"This is that famous gizzard that is mentioned in so many chapters and sugyos of Shas that I’ve been studying."

I like pupiks. They’re like chicken soup flavored jellybeans. But I never saw them as “holy kurkevans”. But for Reb Baruch Ber who invested so much time in learning about it, this was the chavaya- the experience of a lifetime. Everything he studied came to life. It was real. How amazing is that.


The truth of the matter is, that it’s not only a enjoyment I have had in my tour guiding years. When I did outreach for many years in the States I also was able to experience that lightbulb moment from my students.

Wow! So this is what Shabbos is!. This is what a shul looks like! This is a Beit Midrash. Is this really tefillin? A Sefer Torah? The words of Moshe. Sinai? And this is chulent! Wow!!

It’s new it’s fresh but even more so. So many things in their lives that didn’t seem clear. That somehow deep in their souls they knew existed. When they learned with me and hung out at the Schwartzes they were able to really experience for the first time and it all came together for them. Life, their identity, their purpose it all clicked. It made sense. They had meaning. They had life.


This week we finish the 4th book of the Torah. To a large degree it’s really the end of the Torah’s story of our nation from the beginning of time. From next week when we begin the book of Devarim, it is all a repetition. It’s the final speech of Moshe. The story ends here though and the conclusion of the book is a recap of it all. The parsha begins with the travelogue of the Jewish people for 40 years in the wilderness. We traveled here and camped there. 42 stops in 40 years. Do we really need all of this? Who goes back and reads their trip-tiks after their trip. (Remember those from Triple A in the old days- explain them to your kids if you’re reading this by your Shabbos table). The commentaries are all busy trying to understand on many different levels what the point and hidden messages and meaning behind each stop is supposed to mean for us today.


After that the Parsha continues with the borders of Israel. The North, the South, the Jordan River the Dead Sea. Names of cities and borders and mountains and plains. It’s  fascinating information if you’re an ancient map guy. But for most of us this is really a blur. But once again this is the end of the Book. There’s a lesson there for us.We just need to figure it out. 


Finally the Parsha concludes with the cities of refuge for the unintentional killer. The cities they can run to that were established by Moshe and the laws of inheritance were tribes could marry one another and their portions would remain in their hands. That’s the end of the book. It seems like a boring ending. But the truth of the matter is that it really is the lightbulb moment. It’s the look of satisfaction that everything finally clicks into place.


The Yitav Lev of Siget. Notes that the Parsha begins very strangely if you pay attention to the wording. It says

These are the travels of the Bnai Yisrael that left the land of Egypt according to their legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon.

And Moshe wrote their motza’eihem l’ma’aseihem- their going forths according to their journeys according to the word of Hashem and these are their ma’asehem- l’motza’eihem- their journeys according to their going forths.

It reads very biblical and most of us don’t pay much attention to it. What are “going forths” to the journeys or journeys to “going forths”. And which is it? Moshe wrote their 'going forths' and then it switches it around? It’s strange but it’s the secret of life and all things, the Ytav Lev says.


Motza’eihem- means the things that happen to us. That motaza osanu- that found us. A journey on the other hand is a planned trip. You have an itinerary. When we left Egypt we were on journey. We were heading to the Holy Promised Land of our fathers. But then all types of things happened along the way. There was no water in one place. There was a war here. There was nice things there. It seems random. Yet Moshe wrote down that all those going forths. All those things that happened to us were part of the journey. They were all by the word of Hashem. It was on our itinerary. It was supposed to happen. We had something to gain from it. We grew one way or another through the experience. These are the ma’aseihem- the entire journey was really just for those motza’eihem. Just so we could experience those things. And that’s when everything clicked.


Wow! That’s why there was no water there. Now I understand. Now I see why this happened and that happened.


Do you know what it’s like? It’s like a puzzle with a lot of random looking pieces floating around in a box. And then slowly at the end of 40 years each piece slowly comes together and the picture emerges. It all makes sense. Now I see why that piece is in the box and that piece has to go there. The picture of the 40 year journey in our parsha has finally emerged. We are now ready for the next puzzle.


Now every puzzle maker knows that the best way to start with a puzzle is with the edges. With the borders and corners. They’re the easiest. They all have a flat edge. So we take them out of the box and put them all together. That is what the borders of Israel are all about. They are the frame where that 40 year story of us in the Midbar will finally realize it’s goal. The flat edge? That’s Hashem. That’s the connection that everything comes from him. That’s the framework by which we remember that the whole point is to build Him a place to finally move back down to. To reveal Himself in the picture that will finally emerge.


That puzzle has pieces that will reveal Hashem. They are the cities of refuge that no Jew will ever be left behind from. Every piece has a place. Those cities stand out in the puzzle and once we have those edges those are the next pieces we put together. They tell us that there are no accidental deaths or murders. There are no accidents. It’s all from Hashem. It’s all to bring us back to Him. It’s all so that we know we always have a place to come home to. And once we have that we conclude the puzzle and our book of the Midbar with the knowledge that although we may even be in the land and we may not know where we belong ultimately the land will always revert back to it’s proper tribe. Every piece will find its place. The picture will be complete. The lightbulb is lit. The holy kurkevan shines through.


This parsha is always read as we enter the month of Av. It is the saddest month of the year. The month perhaps where we felt the furthest from Hashem as our temples and all the tragedies seem to find their way to this month. Yet it is also a time for us to focus on the idea that nothing that happened throughout our history was random. It was all part of the journey. Our exile, our destruction, our assimilation and our ignorance and lack of knowledge and seeing Hashem is all part of the puzzle pieces that are slowly starting to emerge more and more as we get closer and closer to the final pieces. Our sages tell us that anyone who mourns the temple will merit to see it being rebuilt. Because by mourning the temple we are in fact putting those pieces back together again. We are connected to Jerusalem. Our hearts and thoughts are on the Beit Ha’Mikdash and on the so many generations that came before us that mourned and dreamt as well. And that’s how we build the pieces once again.


We are at the end game. The puzzle is almost complete. The world has undergone so many changes and is rushing to finish up that puzzle. May this year the month of Av already be a month of joy and happiness. There is a light in this month that his greater than any other month. It is Av. It is our father that is standing over us watching us put the final pieces in the puzzle. He has been the tour guide that is waiting for that satisfied look on our faces once again as the Temple lightbulb pops up over our heads. And we say Wow! This is what is has always been about.

Have an enlightening Shabbos and month of Av that turns to joy,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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WE’RE BACK IN MISHPACHA!

After a few month busy tour guiding hiatus was finally able to get out the long awaited

MISHPACHA MAGAZINE

Tour guiding column

Check out this week’s edition and column as I explore the Golan and Gilead region along Syrian borders of Israel. It’s this week’s parsha as well- how incredibly timely.

Click here to read article

https://mishpacha.com/lookout-for-peace/

share, comment, let me know what you think, tell them how much you missed me and enjoy a taste of Eretz Yisrael with your favorite weekly tour guide Rabbi

***********************

 

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Er klert tsi a floy hot a pupik.”- He's meditating on whether a flea has a belly-button

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella  -  Not a time of year for real music, yet a mournful Acapella AL Eileh that I composed and is arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy is sure to make you yearn for the Bais Ha”Mikdash

 

https://youtu.be/7dGLzOxXRm4  – funny Yiddish Gas Sangen parody Zemiros choir acapella

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teMadytP_J4     -Ari Goldwag Acapell Ani Choshev Al Yerushalayim- timely

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoWlmC6xE5M   -One of my favorite Dovid Lowy songs- finally in Acapella Elokai- there’s no reason why not everyone should be singing this song

 

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

4)  The parable in the new testament about that mentions the Jerusalem holiday Pilgrimage road (olei regel) is   _________

The lesson it is meant to convey is

A)  the value of bad friends and helping the week and needy

B)  a criticism of heretics that try to distance people from Torah and Mitzvos

C)  To emphasize that one should only give assistance to those on the sides of the wilderness

D)  To show the significance of the pilgrimage path to Jerusalem

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Run to Me- Parshat Ma’asey –  This week’s Parsha shares with us the fascinating laws of the cities of refuge for someone that kills someone unintentionally. There were 6 cities of the Levites that he could run to besides the other cities of refuge that were established. Whenever you hear the number 6 your ears should perk up-after reading this column for almost a year now. You know there’s going to be a Shabbos connection and of course there is.

 

To understand the connection, we first have to appreciate the idea behind the cities. I mean, the man committed this act unintentionally. Why does he have to flee? How does that help him? And what do the Levi’im have to do with all of this?

 

The Nesivos Sholom notes that the Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim- his guide for the perplexed notes that when a Jew is connected to Hashem he has special protection that he wont fall into any sin. Nothing bad can happen. It’s only when he is disconnected, that bad things can occur. That’s what it means when it says that he killed someone bli da’as- without knowledge. Meaning that the person wasn’t connected with his da’as- his knowledge to Hashem. The job of the Levi, as his name implies is to be melaveh- to accompany a person. To bring them close to Hashem. The cities of the Levi’im correspond, the Ohev Yisrael says, corresponds to the 6 words of Shema Yisrael. That Hashem is one that we are connected to Hashem. Thus all the disconnect that led to his sin will be corrected.

 

And of course that brings us to Shabbos. For Shabbos, like the city of refuge is the day of the week that we run to that elevates the other 6 days like the 6 cities. It brings the connection of Hashem to those 6 days when it gets too tough, to remember there is Shabbos coming. TGIS- Thank God for Shabbos. It is our refuge where we can reconnect. All of the judgments are off on this day. We achieve atonement and forgiveness. It’s maybe even why Erev Shabbos we are always running. We are running to our city of refuge. To the day of Shabbos when we will be safe.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Eliyahu and Mt. Carmel 724 BC –The final part of this story of Eliyahu and his faceoff with the prophets of the Baal is after they finally give up Eliyahu takes 12 stones, like the number of the tribes of Israel and then he digs a huge trench around his altar. This wasn’t just a trench it was 5000 amos- cubits large the size of the courtyard of the Temple. He then sent the people to go down to the Kishon River below that still flows today during the winter months in the Carmel and Jezre’el valley. It comes down from the Shomron and flows to the coastline by Haifa. They brought up 4 barrels of water and then he sent them down two more times to get more. Again 3x4=12, like the 12 tribes of Israel. 12 barrels of water is not nearly enough to fill the trenches that overflowed. But again the Midrash tells us that Elisha poured the water over Eliyahu’s hands and it continued to flow.

 

With the trenches overflowing- which is never a good thing for fire- Eliyahu opened up his mouth and recited the most chutzpadik words anyone ever said to Hashem. He first told Hashem and the people that although what he was doing would be biblical violation as he was bringing a sacrifice outside of the Temple. This was something that was not allowed. Yet, he teaches us that upon extenuating circumstances one is permitted to break the law to save the law. An eis la’asos la’Hashem- a time when one has to do for God, so the Torah will not be broken. Not far from here is the city of Tzippori. About 1000 years after this story Rebbi Yehudah Ha’Nasi uses this same law to break the law and write the Mishna which is the oral tradition that was prohibited from being written down. When they asked him how could he do that? He pointed up to this very mountain and said it’s the minhag Ha’Makom- that’s what we learned from Eliyahu in this very place.

 

Then Eliyahu turns to Hashem and demands that he send down fire and take this offering. “Because it is You who turned their heart away from you!” It’s Your fault Hashem. You give them everything they want. You pamper them. You want to give them rain. Now You bring down fire as well… Not bad.. huh? And like a little tatteleh, Hashem sends down fire that eats the sacrifice, the altar, the trenches and the water. It’s all gone. The people see this and fall on their face, just as we do each Yom Kippur, when we recreate this moment. They say “Hashem hu Elokim Hashem Hu Elokim- Hashem is our God.”

 

Eliyahu then sees the people get the point so he orders them to take all of the prophets of the Baal and kill them down by the river. After that Eliyahu turns to Achav and gives him a huge “OMG!” I forgot to tell you that it’s going to rain. You better eat quick. And sure enough Achav does so. Eliyahu then sends his student Elisha to look towards the Mediterranean Sea, which really one sees fantastic from this viewpoint of this Carmelite Monastery called the Muchraka on Mt. Carmel. There he tells him to spot the rain cloud coming (which only comes on his 7th try). He then tells Achav to pack his food to go and he runs home before Achav’s chariot, kind of like SuperMan in the movie to his palace in Jezre’el. Thus the story ends. Stay tuned next week for the amazing epilogue.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE PUZZLE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Yentl calls her husband Berel over and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Berel asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

Yentl says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Berel decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He then takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..... he said with a deep sigh" ............

"Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box

 

Robin turned and shouted, "The Batmobile won’t start!" Batman growled, "Check the battery!" Puzzled, Robin wondered... "What’s a tery?"

 

I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.”

Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means...""It’s pasture bedtime!”

Can you imagine Yoshka doing a crossword puzzle? And getting stuck on 2 across..

I don't want to brag, but I finished the jigsaw puzzle in a week...And it said 2-4 years on the box.

 

"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the Israeli tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.

The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"

The Israeli vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

I hate connect-the-dot puzzles. That’s where I draw the line.

The inventor of the crossword puzzle lives near me. Street's three across and two down.

I need help with a crossword puzzle. The clue is 'overloaded postman' and the number of letters is... too many..

 

My wife asked for help with a puzzle. She said to hand her pieces with rocks and water. I said shore.

 

A blonde is doing a crossword puzzle...

"What's a 7-letter word for 'easily perceived or understood' that starts with 'O'?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"It should be, but I can't figure it out. That's why I'm asking."

 

I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?

 

Moishe and Yankel were in a mental institution. The place had an unusual annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they were deemed cured and free to go.

Yankel was called into the doctor s office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. Yankel said "Yes" and the doctor proceeded. " Yankel, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Yankel said, "I'd be half blind."

"That's correct. What if I poked out both eyes?"

"I’d be completely blind." The doctor stood up, shook Yankel’s hand, and told him he was free to go.

On Yankel 's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Yankel mentioned the exam to Moishe, who was seated in the waiting room. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers.

So Moishe went into the doctor's office when he was called. The doctor went thru the formalities and then asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?" Remembering what Yankel had told him, he answered, "I'd be half blind."

The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off the other ear?"

"I'd be completely blind," Moishe, answered."

" Moishe,, can you explain how you'd be blind?"

"My hat would fall down over my eyes."

 ********************************

Answer is A- I don’t remember much of my Xtian junk from my tour, but I do drive by the sign towards the Dead Sea that points out the “Good Samaritan”. So I know the story well. Basically yoshka makes up a bubbeh mayseh about how there was this hungry guy going to Jerusalem and no one stopped to help him- not the kohein, Levi or Israelite. The only one that stopped was a Shomroni who were second class citizens and not even Jewish although they claimed to be. The point he was making is that sometimes the guys that look the frummest aren’t worth anything and the it’s the simple goy or Samaritan that is holy and a baal chesed which it seems would be answer A. You don’t care much about this. Neither do I. But I got it right so there! So the score now is Schwartz 4.5 and .5  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Moolah- Parshat Matos 2022 5782

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

July 22nd 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 41 23rd of Tamuz 5782

 

Parshat Matos

Moolah

Money has never been my thing. I don’t mean that I’ve never had it. Baruch Hashem I can say I’ve never really felt that I was lacking anything. Even in those days long ago, which my old friends might remember when I was the young teenager that would go around camp picking up all of the empty cans so I could make ten cents on each of them. It was more for the shtick then for the cash. Kind of like that Novardok guy that would go into the hardware store and ask if they sold baloney sandwiches. Also I didn’t have much busha or shame back then either and for some reason I like the attention it got me. Maybe that part hasn’t changed much…

What I mean is, that I really never had any major desire to be rich, to pursue making money. It didn’t really interest me much. At a young age Hashem blessed me with a lot of thank god very wealthy friends- or at least their parents had money- they themselves were just as poor as I was if you come to think about it. But they had credit cards and things that bought us food and fun for “free” and that’s really all that I needed. Sure later on in life I went off to college and got a degree in finance but that really only taught me all of the basic principles why I had no money. I think it had something to do with getting a “real” job.

Sure I understand a bit and really even appreciate those that are built differently than I am and are really driven to succeed financially. “To make it big” so to speak. Some of them came from poorer homes and are driven that their family and children will never experience the deprived lifestyle that they may have grown up on. Others are motivated by the thrill and the challenge of making bigger and better deals and for others still it’s about outdoing the neighbors and keeping up with the Cohenses.

 Yet all of those with that wealth bug ultimately do tremendous good with their money, support many Jewish organizations and help many unfortunate people. And for many of them- like my Uncle Mendy OB”M, they spend most of their days not even working to add to their own overflowing coffers but rather to support more and more organizations and to heal as many wounds as money can cure. He would tell me that he felt that he would get up each morning to go to work because Klal Yisrael needed that money. He essentially felt that he was working for a non-profit organization. It may have been worth a billion dollars, but tzorchey amcha beis Yisrael merubim heim- the needs of our nation our even more than that. Klal Yisrael needs people like that. It’s why Hashem created us all so differently. But that was never my yetzer hara or yetzer tov. But don’t worry he gave me plenty of other things that challenge me and that have the potential to push me one way or the other that I have to overcome. Money just ain’t one of them.

That being said it became clear to me a few years ago that my wife was certainly the right shidduch for me. Not to say that her excellent cooking and chulent making skills weren’t enough of a clue. For a few years after we were married we were talking about the yichus of our families and she mentioned to me that he grandmother had told her that she was a descendant of the great 17th century Rav theReb Yeshaya H’Levi Horowitz also known as the SheLah Ha’Kadosh. I was quite taken aback to learn of this incredible lineage my children would know be able to claim and I wondered why she never put it on her shidduch resume. Who knows, some people go for this kind of stuff and she might have done better for herself than hooking up with me. It was just a few years ago though that I understood why she never told me. It seems that the SheLah left in his tzava’ah or will to his children the assurance that after he died he would go before Hashem and pray and implore that none of his descendants will ever suffer from that horrible and difficult challenge of being wealthy. It seems to be working-by the way. He must be praying pretty hard. So naturallyI never put him on daughter’s resume as well. It seems it doesn’t’ go over well in today’s shidduch market.

This weeks Parsha, more than any other according to some of our commentaries, tells us of some of those hazards of affluence and wealth. It shares with us the story of the tribes of Reuvein and Gad-or if actually you check it out many times they are listed as Gad and Reuvein- that seem to be blessed with mikneh rav- lots of cattle or perhaps a better way to say it moooo-lah. (wonder if that’s where it comes from?).

Bamidbar (32:1) U’mikneh rav hayah l’Bnai Reuveun, u’L’Bnai Gad atzum me’od. – and there was abundant cattle to the children of Reuvein and the children of Gad- very great!

The Klai Yakar notes that there should be a comma between the children of Reuvein and Gad and read as two separate sentences. Reuvein had lots of cattle- mikneh rav and while Gad had strong cattle as our sages tell us that Gad’s goats would kill the wolves that attacked them. Rav Hirsch puts the same comma there and takes a different approach which is that Gad just had more than Reuvein. Regardless according to both pshatim Gad certainly was in the lead position and that’s why despite being from younger tribe he takes the lead negotiation position with Moshe.

What are they negotiating? It seems that they both want to stick around on the other side of the Jordan River. They like the Golan Heights. They wanted to settle down in roots in what today is “Occupied territory” by Jordan as they sit on the ancestral homeland of those two tribes. They see this area as being good grazing land as opposed to the land of the 7 species of agriculture on the other side of the Yarden that is flowing with Milk and honey. But yet they are missing the boat. They’re a bit too busy and focused on “where the beef” is and they’ve seemed to forget what its all about.

The wisest of all men, Shlomo Ha’Melech, in koheles tell us

There is an evil sickness I have seen under the sun, wealth that is saved for the owner for his detriment.”

Wealth is bad. It’s there for your detriment. The midrash continues and tells us that it’s like someone that saves money for a day that he will get sick or a day that he will get sentenced by the government. A rainy day fund- is what we call it. Corona back-up money savings just in case they close the skies again. Well guess what, the midrash tells us that it becomes ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s where all the money will ultimately go. The classic case? Bnai Gad and Reuvein. They thought that they would do good staking out their claims outside of the regular borders of Israel and in the end they were to be the first ones that were exiled.

Now one can argue that they had their spiritual reasons for doing what they did. Perhaps they wanted to avoid fighting with the other tribes.  Perhaps they wanted to stay with Moshe and his burial ground on the other side of the Jordan. Different commentaries suggest different answers. But it’s more than that. The money changed their mind-set. When they approach Moshe, the famous Rashi notes, they tell him that they will build barns for their sheep and homes for their families. They put the sheep first. It’s a Freudian slip, but it reveals an inner lack of focus of what the wealth has done to them. Reuvein perhaps is so swamped with cows and sheep that’s all he can think about. Gad on the other hand is all about the prize animals. They are atzum- they are powerful. They take over him. They’ve both lost focus and they’re seeing the cattle and missing the Holy Land.

The opposite of those tribes the Chida tells us was Avraham. In the description of Avraham’s great cattle herds, the Torah tells us

V’Avram Kaveid Me’od b’mikneh u’bkesef u’bzahav- and Avram was heavy with cattle, silver and gold

Va’yeilech l’maasov m’negev ad Beit El- and he went on his travels from the Negev to Beit El.

Avram, he points out viewed his wealth and sheep as kaveid me’od. It was heavy. It was a burden. It was a shlep and it was impeding his spiritual work and growth. Reb Shlomo Alakbetz  takes this idea a step further and reads the next verses homiletically. Avraham realizing that the wealth was weighing him down decides to travel from the Negev. The word is Negev, as I told my tourists means dry. L’nageiv ha’yadayim to dry off one’s hands. He went to dry out from all this money. To wash and dry it all away. And where did he go? To Beit El. To Kollel. To learn. To get back to the books and what’s really important in life.

My Rebbi, Reb Yisrael Asia once time told me a great vort that has sat with me for many years. He said the Mishna it Pirkey Avos tells us that Marbeh Nichasim- Marbeh Daagah- if one increases his possessions, he gets more worries and headaches. The Mishna doesn’t say that he will have property and headaches and worries. All you get is worry. All you get is stress. Nothing more. Just da’agah.

I find it fascinating that this is one of the last stories in the Torah and the book of Bamidbar before the Jews enter the land. There is an eternal message I believe in the lesson of Gad and Reuvein that many seem to miss. You know it’s coming. I’m sorry but I couldn’t resist and wasn’t even planning on going this way when I started writing this E-Mail but it’s what came out. So here it is… Is the cattle, sheep, large houses in Lakewood, Monsey and the Five towns holding you back from crossing the Jordan River or the Atlantic Ocean. Is it that you’re scared that the only really good grazing ground is over there and that Hashem can’t provide for you in the Land of Milk and Honey? Is all that money and property being saved god forbid as Shlomo Ha’Melech said “L’raa’aso- for your detriment. Or as the Jews in Europe learned 70 years ago to bribe them at the border to let you and your family escape? Ouch! (Does anyone else ever say it as painfully brutal and as politically incorrect as this Rabbi/Tour guide and really true friend in Karmiel does to you?)

It’s the three weeks now. All of our minds and thoughts should be about mourning the loss we had 2000 years ago when we were exiled from Eretz Yisrael and our Temple was destroyed. All of our thoughts…It’s not about Chafetz Chaim heritage videos, Lashon Hara, Sinas Chinam, bullying kids in the playground and viral whatsapp messages. It’s not. Really. Despite how inspiring (and entertaining ?) they are. It’s about the mikneh rav. It’s about if we are we really really longing to come home. Or are we just lip servicing it with our kosher phones. The newest model that I can’t get in Israel. Money, wealth, big houses and cars and powerful cows and large herds of sheep are really overrated. As I told you, you just need a rich friend that will treat you and take care of you and you won’t have any worries. Well, we all have not just a friend, but a Father in heaven that has been taking care of us anyways. But He really wants you here with Him. He wants you next to Him. Gad and Reuvein were the biggest Israel supporters, they fought and led every battle. They were there for their brothers- just as most Diaspora Jews are today. But ultimately they missed out on the beauty of the life and were the first to be exiled. That’s our final message and story before Moshe dies. That’s the message we read each year during this period of Bein Ha’Mitzarim. It’s hopefully the last time we need to hear it from far away.

Have an really rich Shabbos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der oreman hot vainik feint, der reicher hot vainiker freint.”- The poor man’s enemies are few, the rich man’s friends are even fewer.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella  -  Not a time of year for real music, yet a mournful Acapella AL Eileh that I composed and is arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy is sure to make you yearn for the Bais Ha”Mikdash

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsf6471t8Z4   – Can’t manage the three weeks without your Mordechai Shapiro fix? Here’s an acapella Medley of Shapiro songs by Yonasan Stern

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al3RxjiapPY    -Have no clue who Tzali Rapaport is… but found this old Yigal Calek Chamol Acapella done by him and love the song so here it is vocali obviously

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gMk5MATns4    -Goldwags Ein Davar Ra Yoreid Min Hashamayim acapella

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gMk5MATns4Yishai Ribo’s Keter Melucha Vocali

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

4)  The upper layer of rock in the Beit Guvrin region is  _________

Its  importance is

A)  Its very good for the growth unique species of Hadassim and Aravot (myrtle and willows)

B)  It is good for making water absorption pits and bringing up spring waters

C)  It is unique and of high economic value as it is good for building and construction

D)  because it is very hard it protects its caves from collapse

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Shabbat Words- Parshat Matos –  There are all types of Shabbos “inventions” or as they call them in Hebrew “patentim”. There are Shabbos clothes, Shabbos clocks, Shabbos lamps. In my house we had Shabbos soda and Shabbos cereal which we couldn’t eat during the week. Well this week we learn about another Shabbos concept from the parsha that is not as well known. It’s called Shabbos “words”. Words that one should only use on Shabbos. Or perhaps even more accurately words that you shouldn’t use on Shabbos.

 

What do I mean? This week’s parsha introduces us to the concept of Nedarim- making vows. The Torah uses a strange terminology when it tells us to watch what we say. It warns us “Lo Yacheil divaro”- one should not make mundane their words. What is this command. The Torah tells us already to keep whatever we say. How does one make ones words chulin- unsanctified? As well we learn from here that this prohibition is not just about adhering to one’s words and vows, rather it’s not just making meaningless and pointless promises. Jews don’t take vows or swear needlessly and here it’s upping the ante and telling us that we shouldn’t even speak needlessly.

 

Rabbeinu Yonah explains that the mouth of a man is like a vessel of the Temple service. Just as the vessels sanctify what is inside of them so does one’s mouth. Our words become holy. Each word we speak, we are told, creates an angel. It could be a good angel or a bad one. We don’t want a bad one. The Torah tells us that we should make our words mundane because whatever comes out of our mouth has the potential to be holy. That is the lesson of Vows and on Shabbos it’s when it all comes together.

 

Each Shabbos, our sages derive from the words v’dabru davar- that we should speak words of meaning. On Shabbos we are prohibited from speaking things that are mundane. Shabbos is the day when our mouths are the most holy. All the food we put in it becomes sanctified like on the altar. And as well every word that comes out of it on Shabbos is holy. Unless we waste those words. When we sing songs during the week they’re just songs. When we schmooze with our family during the week it’s just schmoozing. Even our prayers during the week and Torah study don’t have the level of sanctity that Shabbos Tefilos, zemiros and schmoozing has. We need to be aware of those Shabbos angels that are created on this special day. We need to have Shabbos words. It’s the most worthwhile and will be the most used Shabbos patent you will ever have.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Eliyahu and Mt. Carmel 724 BC –The faceoff between Eliyahu and the prophets of the Baal begin. Interestingly enough the Prophets of The Ashera didn’t show up to the show. The Baal is an idol that worships the sun while the Ashera was the female goddess of the moon. One can visit the Israel Musuem in Jerusalem or Tel Aviv and many other ones in Israel and see all the old idols that worshiped these gods. They even have some down in the Herodian street in the old city of Jerusalem and in the coastline museum by Dor.

 

The Ashera prophets who worked for Izevel, Achav’s shiktza wife, didn’t show up, according to our sages, she even forbade them to come. Ahab’s Baal boys had no choice though and were there. Eliyahu therefore plans this showdown during the daytime when their “god” is in full force. They bring a cow on their altar without fire and Eliyahu will bring one on his on his altar. The True god will send down fire and eat up the sacrifice.

 

I bring many tourists to the Muchraka on Mt. Carmel where the Carmelite monastery stands and where this showdown took place. My yeshivish tourists get quite nervous. When I bring them to a church, I tell them that the entrance fee is not for church but rather for the bathrooms there. But when they use the facilities not to worship Baal Pe’or over there. There is a huge ugly statue of Eliyahu on top. He looks like he fell down a flight of stairs with a huge bump on his head and his eyeballs popping out. The Christians, which I tell my tourists quite loudly are unoriginal people that make up bubbeh maysehs and baloney stories about their fake religion. They believe that everyone in the New Testament is a reincarnation of some previous holy biblical figure. So yoshka is Adam Ha’Rishon and King David and Eliyahu is John the Baptist. Because they believe that he toveled yoshka and heralded in their false Messiah. Like I said bubbeh mayesehs..

 

I generally say this quite loudly and make fun of the Christians that are there, much to my more PC tourists’ consternation. They tell me to keep my voice down. They are nervous the goyim will get insulted. But I don’t stop. I get louder. And then I take them up to rooftop from where we have an incredible overlook of over 1/3 of Israel. On a clear day one can see the Chermon on the border of Syria, the hills of the Upper and lower Galil and Jezreel valley and the coastline down to Netanya. Its awesome. I then read them from the Tanach about how Eliyahu Ha’Navi sat right here and made fun of the prophets of Baal. “Scream louder” he tells them. “Maybe your god is sleeping, maybe he’s schmoozing with someone, maybe he’s in the bathroom”. Our Rabbis derive from here the important halacha that although mocking and making fun of things “Leitzanusa” is prohibited, when it comes to idolatry it’s a mitzva to make fun. And thus, they understand why I do what I do with my Christian friends over there. If you can’t do it here, you can’t do it anywhere. Someone’s gotta tell them the truth. And you know what? More often than not I find that they appreciate it and many of them ask me for my card afterwards and ask me to guide them. So there PC. We’re in this country to shine out the light of truth of Hashem to the world. PC is for living in goyishe galus countries. Not for here.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE RICH PEOPLE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

 

What do you call a rich Chinese man? Cha Ching

 

My rich neighbour just had a private ice rink built!

I said to him "Can I have a go?" and he said "Yeah, but it'll cost you a dollar"

I thought: what a cheap skate.

Did you guys hear about the fruit and dairy tycoon from the middle East? We call him the Banana Milk Sheikh

My boss is so rich he even bought a kid for his dog to play with.

Willpower can make you rich.. ..if you get in the right person's will.

 

A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes.

Genie: What is your first wish?
Joe: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. What is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money. (this is very teef)

 

What do rich people and poor people have in common? They both love to talk about money

What does a fat american and a rich english have in common? Lots of pounds.

I have many jokes about rich kids. Sadly none of them work.

 

What's the similarity of typhoon with tycoon? They are both packed with a lot of wind.

 

A Rich Wall Street trader visits a village. During his stay, he sees a young man sleeping everyday and doing nothing outside his house. So he decides to persuade him to change his life and goes on to talk to him.

Trader: Hello young man, looks like you have nothing to do. I suggest you come with me to New York.

Man: What happens then?

Trader: I’ll make you a stock trader and you’ll earn lots of money.

Man: What happens then?

Trader: With that new wealth, you can buy new house, new car, a yacht or anything you want.

Man: What happens then?

Trader: You don’t have to worry about your future and have a relaxing life.

Man: What does it look like I am doing right now?

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Answer is D- Geology is not my thing much although the general ideas especially the places I tour I have down pat. Unfortunately I don’t tour Beit Guvrin a lot at all, although it is a pretty amazing place and lots of people I send there for “Dig for a Day” enjoy it immensely. So I got it wrong. Well sort of. But yeah it’s wrong. I wrote Terra Rosa which is the red earth that I remember they spoke a lot about in the area. But the answer they were looking for is Naari which is a hard stone that covers the softer Kirton stone underneath. I did get the 2nd part correct though because I knew that the caves the Paamon bell caves there have stood up for thousands of years. They’re amazing burial and storage caves and its part of the reason it got UNESCO status. So the score now is Schwartz 3.5 and .5  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.