Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Post- Corona - Parshat Nitzavim - Rosh Hashana 2022/ 5782/5783!

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 23rd 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 50 27th of Elul 5782

 

Parshat Nitzavim/ Rosh Hashana


Post- Corona

 

I’m glad Corona is over. It’s nice to be back in my Shul. It’s nice to have tourists back in Israel. It’s wonderful not to have to wear those farshtunkeneh masks anymore, not to have those green passes to get into places, to be able to fly without taking a shot. It’s good to be back to “normal” again. I’m sure you guys, as me, have already erased from your memories those awful days and those terrible two years and everything we underwent. It was like a bad dream that Baruch Hashem is over.

 

{By the way if you’re one of those that are still wearing masks and still think its going on- you really should just unsubscribe. You like misery way too much. Or actually on second thought maybe you should subscribe twice and read me twice each week. That might either put you in a better mood or alternatively be so painful that you might even enjoy it more than you enjoy your Corona mask. But it’s over dude… move on. Get back to worrying about Global warming.}

 

Yet, it’s Rosh Hashana time. It’s a time of reflection. It’s a time to think back over the year and to try to find and take some meaning and some Mussar over the things that happened this past year, besides obviously the personal work and teshuva that we need to do and work on. So, I think back about the Corona era today as I write this, and there’s one thing that just pops out and keeps coming back to me, particularly as I have begun reviewing and preparing my Rosh Hashana davening. I like to learn and review the machzor before I come to the Day of Judgement. After-all this will be my speech, my drasha, my plea and my conversation before Hashem as He sits on the throne of Judgement and decides my fate for the coming year. It’s good to have given some thought and be a little prepared about what I’m going to be saying to Him.

 

So, I began to read and it really brought to the forefront for me one really incredible thing about the Corona years. Do you wanna know what it is or was? It was that we were all in it together. Litvish, Chasidish, Sefardic, Ashkenazic, Modern and Ultra-religious (whatever those terms mean…). It was in-towners, Boro Parkers, Lakewood. It was Israel and it was the Diaspora. It was Jewish and Non-Jewish. It was Europe and it was Africa and Asia. It was the whole world together. You know how in Egypt the Torah tells us that there was no house that didn’t have someone that died. Well, this wasn’t just Egypt. There was no corner on the entire planet that wasn’t impacted. That didn’t feel the sense of helplessness, of smallness, of fear and of trepidation and not knowing what tomorrow will bring and when this thing would ever be over.

 

 It is and was a feeling that the world as a whole probably had never experienced since the time that the shofar sounded on Mt. Sinai and Hashem revealed Himself to the entire world. There was that blast that awakened the world and then there was silence as the word of Hashem was heard throughout the entire planet. Sure, we’ve had World Wars and pandemics in the past. But to a large degree they really didn’t affect most of the people on the planet. There were lots of war zones where fighting and genocide took place. But it didn’t hit Alaska, it didn’t hit South America or Australia. Corona was everyone and everywhere on the planet. That’s something. Something big. Something significant. It was like the great flood in the time of Noach- not incidentally also recalled in our Rosh Hashana prayers. It was like Hashem’s World Wide Web. We were all connected. We all heard Him. And we all trembled.

 

Rosh Hashana is that time of year when Creation and mankind starts again. It’s what all of our prayers are about; this unification of the world with one understanding and appreciation. Namely, the knowledge that there is a Creator that placed us here and that watches over us and wants us to be partners with Him in ultimately revealing His light and goodness to the entire world. That’s what its all about. It’s about getting us back to Eden. It’s about having a world, like Adam did, walking around with the Almighty in the garden that this world is. It’s about all of mankind united as one.

 

Corona did that to us. It brought all of mankind together. The problem, and I know it sounds strange to use that word, is that it ended. It’s over. We’re back pretty much where we were before, and maybe even worse. It’s like after the 6 Day War in Israel when there was this euphoria took over the Jewish world. A few weeks before the war we were looking at the end of the 19-year-old dream that was our return to Eretz Yisrael and the establishment of the State. We were facing an army 10 times our size and we had almost nothing to fight with. They were digging up parks in Tel Aviv and Yerushalayim and preparing graves and coffins for what was estimated would be over 10,000 casualties minimally. And 6 days later we had quadrupled our countries size, Yerushalayim, the Temple Mount were in our hand for the first time in 2000 years, we were back in Chevron. We had the Golan Heights in Syria. We saw miracles like never before and our losses were in the three digits. It was Messianic. It felt like Mashiach was around the corner. Jews were doing teshuva, were moving to Israel. The end of days was finally here… Except they weren’t…

 

 It went back to normal. Life moved on. Most stayed in Exile. Most didn’t change much of the way they lived and went about doing things beforehand. It was just another amazing part of our history that we experienced, that in the big picture of that day of Redemption and Revelation that we’ve been waiting and davening for, was just another step up the ladder. We made it to third base perhaps, but we didn’t bring the ball home. HOME. And that’s sad. That’s tragic. That’s kind of what I feel right now. We were all together. The entire world. Things were happening that had never happened before. The time was right-was perfect, for the Shechina to be nisgaleh- for the Kingship of Hashem to finally after so so long to be revealed. For the Bais Ha’Mikdash to come down. And yet here we are, still here getting ready for another Rosh Hashana. To say those same words, those same prayers, those same deep inner yearnings that we have for so long hoping to be realized…again.

 

The parsha we read this year and most years before Rosh Hashana our sages tell us is really all about today, all about our era, about this Shabbos and this Rosh Hashana. One doesn’t have to be a sage in fact to see that. It begins with the words Atem Nitzavim hayom kulchem lifnei Hashem- we are all standing together today before Hashem. Today. Before Hashem. Together. All of us. It then lists who the ‘all of us’ are. The sages, the simple people, the women, the children, even the non- Jews amongst us. We’re all here. We’re all in this together. We’re all united under One King. The covenant we entered in with Hashem, the Torah tells us, isn’t just those that were in the wilderness that Moshe was speaking to before entering the land of Israel. Rather…

 

V’lo itchem livadchem anochi koreis es ha’ bris ha’zos- and it is not only with you- l’vadchem- alone-am I making this covenant.

 

Ki es asher yeshno po imanu omeid ha’yom lifnei Hashem v’es asher einehnu po imanu ha’yom- for it is with those that are here standing with us today and those that are not here with us today.

 

It’s with everybody. The ones before us. The ones that are in the Shul. The ones that aren’t standing with us in Shul today. It is with the generations before us. The martyrs, the ones that assimilated, the ones that married out. The ones that dreamed of living in Israel but never had that dream fulfilled. The ones that never even knew there was an Israel. That it was their land. That they possessed a special soul. That they were put on this world with a mission that no one else could fulfill. That they were Chosen.

 

The Imrei Chaim notes in this verse, that when it says that it was not with us “alone” that Hashem made the covenant, it also should be read, that it is not us when each of is alone. The covenant is that we should be together. It’s not each of us coming before Hashem with our personal requests and prayers. It’s about Klal Yisrael, it’s about the entire world as one coronating our King. That’s the end game. That’s what we need to be focused on. Our prayers are for the entire world. They are for those that are not with us, that we should be able to finally keep our promise that we would unite and reveal that Kingship together. Universally.

 

Reb Elimelech Biderman gives a fascinating insight into the reason why we have so many different types of Shofar blasts. We have the long tekiah, the broken three blasts of the shevarim and the shorter and shrill shattered sobbing of the Teruah. The commentaries tell us that the Torah tells us about these different types of blasts and sounds because in different places they cry differently. Some sob, some moen, some are just broken while others yell. When we stand before Hashem on Rosh Hashana it’s not just about the way that we cry. The things that we pray for. The sounds and pleas that we want to see fulfilled. We need to think about the Jews and the world that is crying over things different than what we are. Their troubles. Their worries and their sorrows. We need to bring all of those together so that we are standing before Hashem together. We need to understand that after-all is said and done, we’re all really on the same page. We all have only one and really the same solution to everything that we need. It is v’Simloch Hashem- that Hashem should rule over the entire world. That Mashiach should come. That we should finally be together with our Father in our Home where the whole world can bask in His glory.

 

Last year and perhaps the year before, we had Corona on our mind. But Corona is over. Yet the Coronation has not yet happened. May this year’s Rosh Hashana prayers be answered for all of us as we are sealed and signed for a sweet new year of blessing, of simcha, of health, of nachas, and may it be the year that we finally see the redemption together.

 

Have the perfect final Shabbos of the year and a Shana Tova U’Metuka

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“A dokter tor men nit vintshn a gut yor.”- Never wish a doctor a good year.

  

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKt82CCxcIs   - Baruch Levine’s new beautiful song V’ani kirvas elokim collaboartaion with Yossi Schick

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OetNIKF_ZSc – Benny Friedmans latest with Rubashkin Emuna Bitachon Geula

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpSd_a-0cK4    – Holy Ahreleh Samet Viznitzer Nusach beautiful

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnMvRLUaBPM&list=UUzqpZ8XdZsLBGNYKbEZn-TA&index=16   – Breslav Nusach hinini  Shimmy Fried.

 

And of course Rosh Hashana is not complete without my Hashem Melech- https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hashem-melech-r-ephraim-fina

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

13)  According to Jewish tradition and Tanach the place of the sacrifice of children to the Molech was at     _________

The spiritual significance of this site for Christians is  

A)  proof that the prophets were mistaken about the place of the worship of idolatry

B)  An encounter with physical sites that inspired theological ideas

C)  Understanding the importance of the emphasis on the cost of sin in the End of Days

D)   Meeting with a physical place, as an example of the reason Paradise Gates were Locked

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

The Last Shabbos- Parshat Nitzavim- Our teachers have taught us that the last week of the year we have the ability to fix up every Sunday, Monday, Tuesday etc… of the whole year. This past week as we Ashkenazim have started saying slichos and as we approach the Day of Judgement of Rosh Hashana is the time for teshuva- it’s time to repent. Yet the Chida tells us that in fact all of that comes down to the last Shabbos, this Shabbos, when it all comes together. For Shabbos is the day of return. And the last Shabbos of the year when we read the parsha of teshuva it even alludes that to us. It tells us to look out for that.

 

The Parsha tells us of the mitzva of Teshuva when it tells us V’shavta el Hashem elokecha- and you shall return to Hashem your God. If the word V’shavta and you shall return seems familiar- it should it can be read V’shabbos is for Hashem your God. Shabbos is the source of Teshuva. In fact, he writes that the only way a Jew can do teshuva is through Shabbos. For Shabbos is the day when we connect and bond with our Creator. It is that power and that experience that gives us the strength and inspiration to do teshuva. Without Shabbos it just can’t happen.

 

Particularly the last Shabbos of the year when we need that day to teshuva for the entire year of Shabbasos, there is that special power in the Shabbos to brng us home and return us to our father. Shabbos as well we are told contains all of the light of the coming week within it. Since the coming week has Rosh Hashana which has the light for all of the year in it and it is the day all will be determined it is perhaps the Shabbos that counts the most. It is the one where we can get all of the energy to return. And if we do this Shabbos properly, Our Father will return to us as well.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Navos Ha’Yizraeli - 724 BC – Poor Navos. Talk about having bad neighbours. So Navos has a vineyard right next to Achav’s in the Jezre’el Valley. There are still nice vineyards there in the area that you can see from standing on top of Tel Yi’zrael where Achav’s palace once stood, although there are no remains from it. According to one Medrash Navos was actually a cousin of Achav’s and they had both inherited their fields from their fathers who were brothers. This makes this a bit of a family fight as well. Achav wanted to buy the vineyards but Navos obstinately refused. Perhaps he was even correct that he felt it wouldn’t ultimately be returned to him in Yovel as all land purchases are. Regardless Achav is not someone you say no to and especially not while his witch of a wife Jezebel is in control. It didn’t bode well for him.

 

Now despite the fact that Achav himself didn’t do anything to Navos but he knew that Jezebel was not going to take it sitting down. For that as we will see he will be held culpable. Being a silent partner is an accomplice in this case, particularly if you are the King. So Jezebel orders a fast on the people of the city of Navos of Yizrael. She then hires two false witnesses to testify that Navos cursed Hashem and Achav. The testimony of cursing Hashem isn’t enough, for then Navos s’s children would inherit according to some. She therefore had them say he cursed Achav and thus his fields would fall to the king. Others interestingly enough say that even in that case his children would still inherit and sha had his children killed as well. She wasn’t a very nice lady.

 

Chazal ask why this happened to Navos? What sin did he have that caused him to die so violently? They give a fascinating and scary answer. They tell us that Navos had a beautiful voice and he used to sing in the Bais Ha’Mikdash and that particular year he decided it was too much of a shlep and he didn’t go. Our sages tell us that when everyone goes to the Mikdash there is a special protection that no one will covet or try to take your fields that are left behind. So because he didn’t go- perhaps because he was rightfully nervous about someone taking his vineyards he therefore lost them anyways and was put to death. The lesson Chazal are teaching though is very profound. We each have gifts from Hashem and if we choose not to use them or hide them from others that could be in the service of Hashem we will be held culpable for that. Maybe before this High holiday season its something we should contemplate about the gifts Hashem gave us and if we are using them properly.

 

Next week (and next year!) we will talk about what happens when Achav takes the field and the power of teshuva! How timely!

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE ROSH HASHANA JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he Rick wanted to get into the Shul. In Gants Hill, London on Rosh Hashanah, but without a ticket they don't let you in.

Rick pleads, 'Look, I just want to give a message to Morris in there.'

The man at the door says, 'Sorry sir, you've got to have a ticket.'

Rick replies, 'Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out.'

'Alright,' says the man at the door, 'but I better not catch you praying.'

 

There was a shul (synagogue) that was looking for a baal tokea, someone to blow the shofar. A man came to try out but did a terrible job. He asked for a second chance but was told, “Sorry, YOU BLEW IT.”

 

 A man came home on the first night of Rosh Hashana with a brand new tire. His wife asked him, “What in the world is that about?”

He smiled and explained, “In our family, we have a minhag (custom) to eat tires on the first night of Rosh Hashana as a siman that we should have a GOODYEAR!”

 

Irving worked at a Jewish deli and bakery, and he loved most of his regular clientele, except for one guy...... this guy would *always* haggle over how much he should spend, even for things that had a fixed rice clearly marked on the menu board.

One day, the guy comes in, and says, "I want to buy your finest loaf of egg bread for Rosh Hashanah. I have a crisp five-dollar bill for you, Irving, my good man."

"Five dollars? What, do I look like a yutz? A loaf costs $7.95, and that's a good deal. My wife bakes that herself; it's hard to get it perfect, but she does!"

"I know, that's why I only want to buy from you. But surely $5 is a fair offer. Come on, Irving, we've known each other along time..."

"No! My prices are my prices. I can't have separate prices for individual customers!"

Stunned, the customer shoves the money back in his pocket and shrugs his shoulders. "I... I just don't believe it," he mumbles as he walks out the door.

Irving's wife walks up to her husband just as the customer exits. "Honey, what was that all about? You look so upset!"

Irving stammers, "I can't stand challah cost deniers!"

 

Hetty has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience, during which she sees God and asks if this is the end. God says no and explains that she has another 30 or 40 yeas to live. As soon as she recovers, Hetty figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years, she might as well look her best. So she stays in the hospital and has a face lift, liposuction, Botox – the works.

But tragedy strikes just as Hetty is leaving the hospital, she is knocked over and killed by a car. When Hetty arrives in front of God she asks, "I thought you said I had another 30 or 40 years."

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

 

23 year-old Emma is very excited. Last night her boyfriend proposed to her and she is about to tell her parents the good news over breakfast. "Mum, Dad," she says excitedly, "You know Joshua, the new boyfriend of mine I met only a few weeks ago? Well, he wants to marry me and I think he’s just perfect for me."

 

"Mazel tov darling," shouts Fay, as she rushes over to Emma and gives her a big hug and kiss. "I’ve been waiting for such news for some time."

"Well I hope he can support you," Issy says to Emma. "What does this boy of yours actually do for a living?"

"He’s a chazan, dad," she replies.

"Well, that’s not good news," says Issy. "I’ve always said that no daughter of mine is going to marry a chazan. If you insist on marrying him, I won’t be there to see it."

Emma breaks down crying and begs her father to change his mind, but to no avail. Then Emma has an idea. She suggests that at least he should go see Joshua in action, in his shul. Reluctantly, Issy agrees.

The following shabbes, Issy keeps his promise and goes to Joshua’s shul to see him in action. Emma is waiting on the doorstep when he returns home and immediately asks,

"Well dad, what did you think of him?"

Issy replies with a wide smile, "Mazel tov, my darling Emma, I think Joshua will make a good husband for you."

On hearing this, Emma cries with happiness. "Oh dad, I’m so, so happy. But tell me – why have you changed your mind?"

"I haven’t," replies Issy, "Joshua is no chazan."

 

Three rabbis were discussing how to have the best davening experience (prayer) and what the best positions for prayer were. A telephone repairman who was working nearby overheard their conversation.

"Standing and swaying back and forth during the shmone esrei is definitely best," said the first rabbi.

"No," another rabbi contended. "I have the best davening when I’m sitting down saying the shema with my eyes closed."

"You're both wrong," the third rabbi insisted. "The best davening is Kabbalat Shabbat, dancing with my arms outstretched to Heaven."

The repairman could contain himself no longer.

"Rabbis," he interrupted, "the best praying I ever did was hanging upside down from a telephone pole."

 

Rabbi Bloom enters the first grade Hebrew class. It will soon be Rosh Hashanah and he's there to blow the shofar for them. But before he does, he decides to ask them a relevant question. So hiding his shofar behind his back, he says to the class, "Shalom, boys and girls. I have a question for you. Can anyone here tell me what we will see in shul on Rosh Hashanah but which we would not normally see in shul at other times of the year?"

Little Samuel puts up his hand and says, "I know the answer, rabbi. It's my Uncle Joe and Aunt Betty."

 

After the Shabbos service was over, Golda Grunberg meets Rabbi Cohen at the shul door with her young son Shmuel.

"Rabbi," says Golda, "I'm sorry my little Shmuel was so noisy during your sermon."

"That's OK, Golda," says Rabbi Cohen. "These things are not unknown to us rabbis. But do tell me how you managed to get him to keep quiet at the end."

"It was quite easy rabbi," replies Golda. "Fifteen minutes into your sermon, I leaned over to Shmuel and whispered in his ear, 'Shmuel, listen to me carefully. If you don't stop making so much noise, Rabbi Cohen is going to lose his place in his sermon, and if he loses his place, he will have to start his sermon all over again!' And rabbi, he instantly stopped making a noise."

 

Little Moishie Rosenberg called Rabbi Fine, the rabbi of a local synagogue to come by his house to pray for the speedy recovery of his mother who had been very ill with the flu. Rabbi Fine knew the family but was aware they had been attending another shul down the road. So Rabbi Fine asked, "Shouldn't you be calling Rabbi Felder from Shaarei Shamayim congregation where you are members to come by to pray with your mom?"

Young Moishie replied, "Yeah I could but we didn't want to take the chance that Rabbi Felder might catch whatever it is that Mom has."

 

Shira Fried was in charge of the kids Shabbat program at Congregation Beth Israel. She was teaching the kids about decorum in shul and why it was so important. So she took them up to the main sanctuary at the very back to give her lesson up close.

Why is it necessary to be quiet in shul, especially now during Rabbi Eisen’s sermon?" Shira asked.

Little Rivka Deutch whispered, "Because people are sleeping.

 

********************************

Answer is C I  debated even putting this question in here. What do you care about Italian churches. What do you care about architects and their places of idolatry. Truth is I deleted most of this information from my brain after I passed my exams. But I figured this column is to give you a feel of what we have to do to become tour guides and how much silly random information we needed to learn. I actually got this one half right- I think. The architect is Antonio Berluzzi. He’s a big one and made lots of churches here, so I remembered him. He’s probably the only one I remember. What the designs and his unique motif was I’m not sure. I guessed it was the incoportation of biblical texts as I knew that was true in some areas. Seeing Torah psalms written in churches is disturbing. But after googling a bit it seems the answer is he was trying to incorporate Roman and Italian stuff in the churches to show that Italy and Rome where he came from has rights politically to Palestine/Israel during the era that he designed this stuff between World War I and II. So I probably would’ve skipped this one but anyways I’ll take a half right on it. And thus the score now is Schwartz 9 and 3  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

Friday, September 16, 2022

TYH- Parshat Ki Tavo 2022 5782

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

September 16th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 5 20th of Elul 5782

 

Parshat Ki Tavo

TYH

 

I would say it’s probably one of the most popular and most sung Jewish songs of the last 10 years or so. And it’s not even one of mine. Not even my Eli-yahoo yahoo song… It’s one of the first ones my grandson learned and sang. It’s not even that original or ga’onis’dik of a tune or words. But its one that captured the hearts and souls of the Jewish nation. It pretty much built the career of the Jewish artist that released it. It’s a song that even started a whole movement along with bumper stickers logos and emojis. And it’s one that I’m pretty sure everyone reading here has sung or at least said the words in some capacity or another. And perhaps even do so once a week. Any guesses what song I’m talking about?

 

Ay tideh dai dai dai… Thank You Hashem. Ay Tideh dai dai dai Thank You Hashem Thaaaank Yoooouu Hashem!” You hummed that nicely by the way… It’s amazing isn’t it? How many times have you sung that song lately? A lot right? Truth is that most songs you even get sick of after a while. But this one just has something to it in it’s simplicity. In it’s powerful message. It hits the core of all situations. Things work out for you unexpectedly our response is Thank You Hashem. Even when things don’t work out we stop and pause and whereas in the past we might have said Gam zu l’tova- I hear not a few people responding with the good old TYH. I would even venture to say that many of Joey Newcombs other songs are all based on this movement, these lyrics, this idea of getting down to the core of it all. We thank Hashem for everything. It’s as we all know what a Jew is all about.

 

We’ve all since we’re children heard the vort that we are called Yehudim- Jews after the tribe of Judah because the name Yehuda comes from the word praise. Leah named her fourth child Yehudah because “Now I can praise Hashem because I received more than my share”. There were four wives of Yaakov and each one should have had only 3 children to be fair. Yehudah was her fourth and she thanked Hashem for the extra child. She felt Hashem’s love more than usual. She recognized that she had gotten a gift. And that’s why all  Jews are called Yehudim. Because that’s what we’re here for. To bring that message out to world. That all of humanity and our existence is a gift from Hashem. We are here to recognize and thank Him for that. You’ve all heard that idea before. Any Rabbi that has given a sermon anyone that has ever attended a day school or yeshiva was taught that unique Jewish value. This E-Mail is not to rehash all the same old same old. It’s to give you something new and different to chew on and enjoy. And then to say wow! Thank You Hashem for Rabbi Schwartzes weekly E-Mail… And then to say Hmmm… maybe I should sponsor it one of these weeks…

 

Well this week we read the Parsha on Ki Tavo. It’s a fascinating parsha because it has two extremes and they are both looming in front of us. I thought to myself as I opened up my Chumash that it’s a real appropriate name for the Parsha to be read annually right before Rosh Hashana because we all should have a feeling and sense that something big is coming right in front of us. I know me personally I feel very stressed and pressured because I have a bunch of tours tourists, arrangements drivers, outsourcing, itineraries and just hectickeit coming right around the bend in what will be one of the busiest holiday seasons in the history of Israel. That’s not even to mention all of the arrangements and preparations for The High Holidays for my shul. My sermons, my davening, my chazanim, my shofar blower, machzorim and room for all of those attending. Then we’ve got Sukkos, Kiddushes, Lulav Esrog, Simchas Torah. Oh and did I mention we’ve got a wedding we’re making coming up followed by a Bar Mitzva a week later…

 

OK, to be honest, that’s not really stressing me as my wife is pretty much entirely taking care of all of that but that’s what she’s stressed about. Besides all of the meals, our guests an upcoming grandchild IYH and the arrangements and organization that will all take. The money everything is costing. Yeah, she’s got it all on her plate as well. It’s all coming and coming fast like a train in front of us. Ki Tavo Are you getting just as stressed as I am reading this about all of your stuff going on in this season. You are, right? You feel it coming. Yet admit, despite all of the pressure and stress and nerve wracking cloud looming before us- (Oh yeah.. did I forget to mention that we actually will have a day of judgement and stand before Hashem and have to do teshuva and may be written in the book of life and death…? Almost forgot about that…)- But admit it when you thought and think about all of that, you break out in a tune in your mind. That song? TYH- Thank you Hashem. Thank you for the brachos. Thank you for the holiday. Thank you for my family. Thank you for so many tourists and business. Thank You Thank You Thaaank Youuu Hashem!

 

Well as I was saying Parshas Ki Tavo also has two extremes. It starts off with the mitzva, the promise, the fortunate and incredible tiding that Vhaya ki tavo el ha’aretz- and it will be when we come to the land that Hashem has promised us. We are coming to Israel! Mazel Tov! Hava Nagila!! After 40 years in the wilderness and 2000 years of galus we can finally come home. The mitzva we are commanded is one of Bikkurim. The first fruits that grow we have to bring to the Beit Hamikdash to Hashem and sing one song. Can you guess what it is? That’s right. TYH. We have to thank Hashem for finally bringing us home.

 

On the other hand, the parsha concludes and shifts gears when it lists of 98 curses that are looming before us if we don’t follow the mitzvos of Hashem. It’s not pretty. It’s terrifying, in fact. We’ve experienced a lot of it. It looms before us as well in the parsha called ki tavo- it’s coming.

 

The conclusion and last verse though is an amazing pasuk that concludes this very polarized and mixed emotional reading.

 

And you shall guard the words of this covenant and fulfil it in order that you will contemplate that which you should do.”

 

It’s about understanding and thinking about why we’re here. That’s what its all about. It’s about life. It’s about Israel. It’s about everything that happens to us and that stands before us. If we think about where it comes from. If we understand that Hashem put us on this world to shout out His song to the world and reveal that everything is from our loving Father, then we’re good to go. Then we’re living. If on the other hand we are just having life live us. If we just go through the motions. If we just do things without contemplation then it’s just miserable. It’s just curse. It’s not real. It’s rote. It’s fake.

 

Thanking Hashem for that first fruit is an amazing mitzva with so many aspects that our Rabbis point out to us. Reb Chatzkel Levinstein notes how the Talmud tells us that the farmer would tie a string around that first fruit and there would be a whole preocession and parade to Jerusalem. They would be greeted by everyone there. He would meet the Kohen. There would be singing and dancing. And the most amazing thing he says is that this could technically be all over one little measly fig. It’s just the first fruit itself- although as we know and recite every morning bikkurim is one of those things that have no measurement- ein lahem shiur. You can bring a basket full or wagon full or just one fig. What’s the big deal of the one fig?

 

Answers Reb Chatzkel. It’s because it’s the only thing that he has on his field. See, when one brings tithes and teruma ore even leaves gifts for the poor, he’s got lots of other crops on his field. Here, there’s nothing else grown yet. Its just that one fig. And the farmer stops and takes that first and only gift and says “Hashem, that’s for You”. It’s Yours. It’s my way of saying Thank You for just even bringing me to this land. Thank You Hashem. That’s meaningful. That’s parade worthy.

 

The Rav of Karmiel, Rav Margalit, pointed out and noted something else unique about this mitzva. The Torah tells us that when this farmer comes to the Beit Hamikdash the Torah tell us that when he makes his statement of gratitude to Hashem when handing over his fruit to the Kohen V’anisa v’amarta- he should respond and should say. Rashi says over there that it means he needs to raise his voice. He needs to say it out loud. He can’t mumble thank you Hashem. He should sing it. When we thank Hashem it needs to be with feeling. We’re not just davening. We need to bring out with our full kishkas and heart.

 

He gives a mashal that I can say I’m very familiar with. See, I’m the candy man or candy Rabbi in our shul. I have always been in the many communities I’ve lived in and congregations I lived in. I want the little children to know that the Rabbi isn’t a scary figure. He’s the guy that gives them sweet candies. I also wan the kids to nudge their fathers to bring them to my shul. The other Rabbis don’t give out candies. It puts me ahead of the game. By the way, it’s the same reason why I serve a chulent kiddush every week. The kids who got candies became adults and they want some l’chaim and chulent as well. But when I give me candies, I have two conditions. One they say good Shabbos to me first. They need to stick out their hand and say hello. They need to give me a smile. I want them to look me in the eyes and realize that I’m giving it to them with love. Sometimes they’ll tell me that they want one for their brother or sister that is too shy to come on over. That doesn’t work for me. They have to come themselves. I want to give it to them personally. I want to shake their hands.

 

 The second thing is that they need to say thank you. They need to say toda. For that they also need to look me in the eyes. They can’t just slip their candy in the pocket and slink away like it never happened. Sometimes if they give a really nice thank you, I’ll even slip them a second candy. Thank you’s are things that need to be real. It builds relationship. It makes closeness. It makes us feel good and cared for. We need to sing it. Otherwise, we’re just slinking away with our candies.

 

There’s a famous vort that technically we can fulfill our obligation of reciting Shemona Esrei with the repetition of the Chazan that repeats it on our behalf. We just need to pay attention and answer Amein to his blessings. Yet, there is one blessing that we don’t just say Amein. That the chazan’s repetition and an Amein isn’t good enough. That’s the bracha of Modim; the blessing of Thank You Hashem. That we need to do on our own. That we need to say out loud. That we should sing.

We read this parsha right before Rosh Hashana. Right before we are going to turn to Hashem and ask Him for life. Reb Yisrael Salanter says that before we get ask for all of the personal requests the first thing we always say is zachraynu l’chaim- remember us for life. Life alone is a gift. We can’t even begin to ask for all of our myriad of personal requests for health, for parnassa, for forgiveness, for children, for miracles and for redemption until we first appreciate the gift of life in of itself. Thank You Hashem for giving me life. It’s the first thing we say every morning. Thank You for restoring my soul to me. If we appreciate that, that should immediately fill us with joy. Depression, sadness, anxiety, all of the curses in life. It all starts the Torah tells us because we didn’t serve Hashem with Simcha. With joy. Do you know why we don’t serve with joy? Because we didn’t bring Bikkurim with that first fig. We didn’t say Modeh Ani on that first breath. We don’t realize the gift we have and have been given. We didn’t sing Thank You Hashem.

 

It’s not just a song. It’s a an anthem. It’s an elixir of happiness. It’s our hymn that we were given to teach to the world. Hashem chose us to be the bandleaders of this song. So click on the link below. Hold your childrens’ hands by your Shabbos table and start singing. Hodu La’hashem ki tov ki l’olam chasdo- thank Hashem for He is good and forever is His kindness. My good friend Sruli Besser in his weekly group shared that someone pointed out that there are 24 letters and 7 words in that phrase. It’s to remind us that we should be singing this song 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Aiii tidieh dai daii dai Thaaank Youuu Hashemm...!

 

 

Have a song-filled Shabbos

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

This week's Insights and Inspiration is sponsored by my dear friends and tourists Ovadia and Chanie Waxler on the engagement of their daughter Layala- who has grown up it seems since I last saw her… to her Bashert Yitzy Litchfeld the son of Duvie and Shaindy of Boro Park.

Thank You Hashem for this incredible zechus she’hechiyanu v’kiymanu l’azman hazeh!!

May the young couple be zoche to build a bayis ne’eman b’yisrael and b’eretz Yisrael!!!

Asach nachas to all of the Bubbies Zaydies and siblings!

Mazel Tov!

 

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Ven me zol Got danken far guts, volt nit zein kain tseit tsu baklogen zikh oif shlechts...” - If we thanked God for the good things, there wouldn’t be time to weep over the bad.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Byo7t9hJXG4    -  The song that captured the Jewish world THANK YOU HASHEM!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0fvHMYmLIw&list=RD-0fvHMYmLIw&start_radio=1&rv=-0fvHMYmLIw&t=20    – Lecha Ailai By Ishai Ribo just perfect Elul

 

https://youtu.be/v8tQeAatW40?list=RD-0fvHMYmLIw     Hanan Ben Ari Mashup concert!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTSD2opc47c     And just as good and perhaps even the prelude the TYH song is the classic also well loved tov l’hodos

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmKmx-ACslg     And the lead in or prelude to that is of course the Carlebach Tov Lehodos La’Hashem

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

12)  Many Monumental Catholic Churches were built by the Architect     _________

The common charachteristic of his designs

A)  Excessive colors, many golden mosaics and icons next to the altar

B)  Reenactments of biblical texts incorporating ancient relics

C)  Revival of Byzantine architecture, highlighting the strength of the East

D)  Emphasizing the victory of Christianity over Judaism through architectural means

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Turning Curse to Blessing- Parshat Ki Tavo- OK we’re gonna get a bit mystical this week. It’s the High Holiday season and it’s time to get High. We are told that each year we read the parsha of Ki Tavo that contains the curses or rebuke and terrible calamities that will befall us if we don’t do teshuva. If we don’t keep the mitzvos. There are 98 of them in total. Yet the Megaleh Amukos notes that there 676 letters. That number is the gematria of the word Ra’os- bad and is a reference to the word the verse that Hashem will bring upon on us the tzaros ra’os- the bad troubles or the 676 troubles if we don’t follow the mitzvos. Sounds pretty scary. Yet there is a way out and a consolation as well.

 

The Baal Haturim notes that the merciful name of Hashem of the yud-keh-vav-keh as well equals 26. The number 676 he notes is the name of Hashem which is in gematria the number 26 squared or 26 times. Take a guess how many times the name of Hashem appears in the Tochacha? You got it 26 times. So the secret of how to avoid the curses is to tap into the name of Hashem, into His mercy. /in fact he says that the name of Hashem appears 26 times in Shemona Esrei that we daven so that we know the power of prayer can obviate the curses as well.

 

To make it even better the Shvilei Pinchas notes that in the psalm we add for this month of L’dovid it says Hashem’s name 13 times. We therefore recite it twice a day so again we have 26 times the 26 of the gematria of the name of Hashem to protect us from the curses.

 

Finally the Agra D’kallah notes something even more fantastic. He tells us based on the Zohar that Shabbos is in gematria 27 times the name of Hashem. It’s 702. It’s the curses not just negated but one more extra 26 name of Hashem gematria to turn the curse into blessing. He explains that it says the curses come it tells us tachas asher lo avadata es Hashem B’Simcha- instead or under the fact that we didn’t serve Hashem with happiness. The word Asher is one letter above Shabbos. The Alef is the letter before Beis, the Shin is the letter before Taf and the reish is the letter before Shin. Beis, Taf and Shin rearranged spell Shabbos. Meaning the letters “under” or right after the word “Asher” is Shabbos. The curses come because we don’t have the joy of Shabbos. We are missing that joy. But with the joy of Shabbos we can turn them into blessing. Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnefeld amazingly reveals that kabbalas Shabbos has… can you guess…? How many words? Yup! 702. We start Shabbos with the songs and psalms of joy. That’s how we turn the curses. That’s how we get the blessing. That’s how we reveal Hashem in this world!

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Achav - 724 BC – Perhaps one of the most fascinating figures of the Kings of Israel and in Navi in general is King Achav. On the one hand we find that this is a man who cares deeply about the Jewish people. He himself personally goes out to find water and food for the people during the famine. He fights and leads battles in order to defend Eretz Yisrael. We find that he’s strict about kosher, he davens, he brings sacrifices, he even repents personally and accepts rebuke. At the same time we find he remains married to his evil gentile wife Izevel. He allows her to murder the prophets of Hashem. And he runs after his personal desires. What’s with this guy?

 

Fascinatingly enough Rav Kook in his eulogy on Theodore Herzl notes that the Gemara teaches us that Achav could’ve have even been considered Mashaich Ben Yosef. For the role of Mashiach Ben Yosef, the first redeemer before the Mashiach Ben David is to build and take care of the physical and material well being of Klal Yisrael. His failing is that he is meant to connect that to the spiritual well being as well; to the prophets, to Hashem. His problem is that he doesn’t listen to rebuke, or as Eliyahu says he’s bouncing in between both doorsteps. He wants his cake and to eat it too. That is his failure.

 

Last week we find in the battle against Ben Hadad, Achav heroically fights and destroys them, but then he fails and makes a peace agreement. He caves and when he is rebuked by the prophet Micha he gets upset and can’t see or accept that he made a mistake. That it wasn’t his place to let them go free. That mood described as zo’eif and sar- dejected and upset doesn’t let him accept the rebuke.

 

This week we again find that same mood overtake Achav as he covets the vineyard of his neighbour and cousin Navos Ha’Yizraeeli. When Navos refuses him Achav is again dejected and upset to the degree that he stops eating. His wife Jezeebel tells him that she will take care of the problem for him. Now Achav himself could’ve just as easily taken out Navos. Yet, as we said he is righteous and frum in that way. Yet, he’s still bouncing. His depression doesn’t allow him to take control and admit that he gets what he deserves from Hashem. He doesn’t see the blessings that he has before him and the miracles. He’s too focused on what he doesn’t have. That is the road to folly. That is Achav’s downfall.

 

By Tel Izrae’el the home of Achav’s former palace we can look out at the vineyards down below and imagine and appreciate why Achav would want them. Looking from this incredible vantage point at the valley we can feel his desire. Yet at the same time we can hear the words of the Navi and this weeks Torah portion of what will happen when we don’t appreciate what we have. The first mitzva we have is Bikkurim when we come to Eretz Yisrael to show our appreciation of Hashem and His gift. It is a mitzva that is done with joy. Joy is the opposite of dejected, resentment and jealousy. If we have that appreciation, we have bracha. If not the parsha tells us we have the tochacha. Just misery. Just a failed Messiah.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE GRATITUDE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat. As he looks back he sees the shark turn and head towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He’s scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, “Oh God! Save me!”

In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, “You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?”

Aghast with confusion and knowing he can’t lie the man replies, “Well, that’s true I don’t believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?”

The Lord replies, “As you wish,” and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.

As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.

Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and before it takes a bit makes the blessing, “Baruch Ata Hashem…

 

Let's show a little appreciation for smokers. If it wasn't for them, it would have been many years until we could have charged our phones in cars.

 

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes? Thanks for nothing!

 

How do generals show their gratitude to their troops? They give tanks.

 

Q: What was the seamstress thankful for on Thanksgiving?

A: Sew much.

 

Q: How do you show bananas your gratitude?

A: By saying “thanks a bunch!”

 

Q: How do hot dogs say thank you?

A: Franks a lot!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You’re welcome.

 

I don’t understand people who say, “I don’t know how to thank you!” Like they’ve never heard of money.

 

Thank you student loans for getting me through university...I don't think I could ever repay you (and now I don’t have too!)

 

A preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning. It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy, and told the preacher that he would attend his church if the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so in front of his congregation. The preacher agreed and drank up.

 

Sunday morning the man visited the church. The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit and said: “I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this morning. I want to thank him publicly for his hospitality this week and especially for the peaches he gave me and the spirit in which they were given.”

 

A religious man was thinking about how good his wife was to him, so he prayed to god to give thanks. To the man’s astonishment, the booming voice of Hashem spoke to him.

 

Man: Hashem I’m so grateful that you gave me my wife. If I may ask, why did you make her so beautiful?

Hashem: I made her so beautiful so that you could love her, my son.

Man: And why did you make her so kind-hearted?

Hashem: I made as such so that you could love her, my son.

Man: And God, did you make her such an amazing cook?

Hashem:I blessed her with the talent of cooking so that you could love her, my son.

Man: Thank you, Lord, but forgive me but I must ask one more question. Why, God, did you make her so dumb?

Hashem: I made her dumb, my son, so that she could Love you.

 

I don’t understand people who say, “I don’t know how to thank you!” Like they’ve never heard of money.

 

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Answer is C I  debated even putting this question in here. What do you care about Italian churches. What do you care about architects and their places of idolatry. Truth is I deleted most of this information from my brain after I passed my exams. But I figured this column is to give you a feel of what we have to do to become tour guides and how much silly random information we needed to learn. I actually got this one half right- I think. The architect is Antonio Berluzzi. He’s a big one and made lots of churches here, so I remembered him. He’s probably the only one I remember. What the designs and his unique motif was I’m not sure. I guessed it was the incoportation of biblical texts as I knew that was true in some areas. Seeing Torah psalms written in churches is disturbing. But after googling a bit it seems the answer is he was trying to incorporate Roman and Italian stuff in the churches to show that Italy and Rome where he came from has rights politically to Palestine/Israel during the era that he designed this stuff between World War I and II. So I probably would’ve skipped this one but anyways I’ll take a half right on it. And thus the score now is Schwartz 9 and 3  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.