Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Looking For Leader- Parhat Shemot 2018 /5779


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
December 28th 2018 -Volume 9 Issue 13-20th of Tevet 5779

Parshat Shemot
Looking for a Leader

So it's that time of year again. The Arabs have stopped killing us for about five minutes or so. It happens every now and again. (Note – how I said have stopped killing us not stopped trying to kill us- you have to read my words like Rashi to fully comprehend their depth- trying I don't think has ever stopped.) So in honor of the occasion and in order not lose that small window of opportunity, my blessed brothers here in this country of ours have quickly decided to call for elections, in order to increase fighting, divisionism, and in general hatred and vitriol between Jews. We don't get these chances often. Usually we have to hide in bunkers together and declare solidarity with our soldiers and support for the Government as we stand united against our enemies who seek to drive us into the sea. We all daven together, attend funerals sadly together, we see hareidi men going out to bring support to our front lines, visiting hospitals, we even have leftists  not hugging so many terrorists and actually even upon occasion condemning violence and not calling for us to vacate our homes. We're together and it's kind of awkward for many here. So at moments when we have a break, tragically we fall back to our far too familiar and comfortable traditional default status of Jew vs. Jew. Welcome to 2000 years of exile.

So in honor of the great occasion it I felt it behooves upon me to offer up some of my recommendations for candidates for Jewish leadership. I know many of you are clamoring for me to take that position. But frankly, Jerusalem gets me kind of dizzy, I like it here in Karmiel and I'm scared if I became prime minister I wouldn't have the time to share with you my weekly missives, And then what would you do? Now I know the pickings are slim out there in the running. There's not that many people in office or running for office that you feel you can trust not to sell you, your family and our country down the road for the opportunity to have a photo-op with a US president in the rose garden. Heck, there's probably no one you would even trust to babysit your pet rabbit. That being said I believe that the Torah's wisdom can share with us some really important insight into the types of people that Hashem choose for leadership. Some of their qualities, experience and strengths and let's see if we can kind of like-you know one of the Facebook "see-what-type-of-biblical-leader-you-are" type quiz's that they send you. Plug in the info and see who we come out with it.

So let’s start, as this week's Torah portion does, with perhaps our greatest leader, Moshe Rabbeinu. Would you back his candidacy? What do you think his chances would be of taking office? Now if I were asked to become his political campaign consultant- a job that I think too many Israelis feel they have- I would probably say that we would have to engage in an ancient Palestinian tradition of historical revisionism. Let's start from the beginning. First of all, the Jewish people are in a crucial critical moment. We have been persecuted in Egypt for quite a long time now. Babies are being thrown into the Nile, we are being forced and whipped into devastating slave labor and we have lost all hope. It's time for change. Nothing like a good crisis to kick-off a campaign. Enter one Moshe Rabbeinu. Nothing like a new fresh face to step in and save the day. Except, problem one, he's not really a new face. See Moshe is the adopted grandson of Pharaoh. In fact, when the verse tells us that Vayigdal Moshe and Moshe became great, Rashi quoting the Midrash notes that he was appointed to be Pharaoh's chief of staff, His Goebbels if you like. Hmmm… that doesn't seem to be something to put on his resume, although there is quite a tradition in this country of party leaders switching party’s affiliations and ideologies regularly. It's not something you generally play up, although we can certainly work with it and describe it as an awakening that he had.

OK, what's next? So the Torah tells us he went out to his brothers and in fact gets himself into a street fight with an Egyptian that is beating up a Jew. That wouldn't have been too bad, although it is quite radical, it would've probably played out better if he had just mediated and convinced him to back down, but it certainly shows a sense of willingness to get his hands dirty, which people generally like. But then he actually killed the guy, even worse he buries him in the sand to cover it up. Even worse he gets himself into another fight with two Jews fighting-never a good place to be, and word gets out and he is in fact arrested for the murder of the Egyptian and sentenced to death according to the Midrash. Now we certainly have important political figures in this country who have gone to jail. And perhaps we might even be able to sell the notion that why should we wait until after they are in office to send them to jail, Moshe served his time before hand already. But murder is kind of a harsh black spot to have on your resume.

Moshe flees, before they can kill him and the Midrash fills in the blanks over the next forty years or so of his life. Let's see maybe he can overcome these challenges to making him electable. So first off the Torah tells us that he comes to Midian, and once again it seems this guy can't seem to get off trouble. He sees some women getting harassed by some shepherds and does the whole JDL thing again. The woman that he saves is incidentally the daughter of the Pope of the world at that time, Yisro also a former adviser and collaborator of Hitler/Pharaoh. Moshe marries his daughter, who incidentally according to the Midrash might have been a Kushit or African-American (although there were no Americans…what do you call them…hmmm Colored…? Negro…? Black? Any politically correct options?) How do you think that would fly in Boro Park, Lakewood or Bnai Brak? I mean but let's leave the race card alone for a bit, but the Popes daughter?! Really? To make matters even worse for his campaign, the Midrash tells us that he eventually made it big there in Midian and became the ruler of the country there. Imagine the former king of Saudi Arabia running for Israel political office. Now I know former oil magnates make it big in the States, maybe pitch this as the Bush/Obama blend Oil meets African American…hmmmm…

Finally, the Torah tells us he ends up as an eighty year old shepherd running around with sheep in the Sinai desert. It is there where he comes to his real "found God...Halleluya" moment. Except it also doesn't seem to work out well. Rather than an expectant Moshe who we would hope would stand up for the Jewish people by the burning bush and jump at the opportunity to rescue them from their persecution and near-annihilation. Moshe tells Hashem "Who am I to take to go to Pharaoh and can I take out the Children of Israel from Egypt?" and as Rashi notes Moshe said, 

"Even if I am significant why is Israel worthy that a miracle should be done for them and that I should take them out of Egypt".  

I hope they don't have any video of that conversation to release to channel 2. In the following week of discussion about him "running for office”. The Torah spends an inordinate amount of time and ink telling us how reluctant he is to take this job. He offers up his brother, Aharon as a candidate instead, he is extremely skeptical of whether the Jewish people will believe him or not. He almost seems oblivious to the fact that the entire time this conversation is going on "the trains are still heading to the Egyptian Auschwitz".

 Perhaps the final faux pas comes when after Hashem finally convinces him to take the job and he comes to Pharaoh and he fails to convince him to release the Jewish people and the work is doubled on the Jewish people and the local Jewish Biblical Times are already condemning this radical that has just stirred up the pot, Moshe loses it. He turns to Hashem and protests.

 "Why have you done bad to the people and why have you sent me? From the time I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name he has harmed this people and you haven't saved your nation".

Now remember this is Hashem here. The Master of the World. Yet Moshe right after the first crisis seems to fall apart and seems ready to head for the door. Can this really be the true leader of the Jewish people. Oh by the way did I mention he had a lisp as well and forgot to circumcise his son on the way into Israel. Ohhh the Jewish tabloids will have a field day with this election campaign. Let the blogging begin.

The truth is I don't think the Jewish people would ever have a more unlikely leader than Moshe (although King David is a very close second). It is perhaps precisely because he is so unlikely though that Hashem chose him and he became the greatest leader of our people of all time. In fact, our sages tell us that if not for Moshe we would never have been able to leave Egypt, not ever received the Torah, no other individual who ever spoke to Hashem "face-to-face". The Zohar on a very deep level even tells us that there is a spark of Moshe in each and every Jew; The spark that is in the most unlikely of spots and the spark that will always connect us to the greatest of heights; to our redemption. What is that spark? What does is look like?

The Torah tells us the one thing about Moshe that was unique was that he was the humblest man on the face of the earth. Humility is not a feeling of inadequacy; it's not a feeling of wimpy-ness or a lack of appreciation of one's greatness. Humility is the recognition that I exist, and my power to accomplish is all only because it is the will of my Creator. I am nothing without Hashem and everything with Him. There is no 'God and I' there is only a "Moshe Moshe" -without the hyphen in between- that Hashem calls out to him from the bush as; A Moshe soul up above that has absolute clarity of the existence of Hashem how there is nothing that happens that is not His will, and a Moshe below that mirrors that exact sentiment and who's every fiber is governed by that.

Moshe doesn't see a difference between Egyptian fighting a Jew, a Jew fighting a Jew or some Midianites picking on the Pope's daughter. The will of Hashem is that truth and goodness must prevail. He doesn't even see Jews in Egypt's persecution as being worthy of redemption initially as they are meritless, until Hashem tells him that it is his will to take them out to bring them to Sinai. There's no black and no white, only Hashem. Once Moshe recognized that it is the will of Hashem to take them out he will even challenge Hashem based on His own will. Why then have You sent me, it is Your name. You told me it is Your people. Let the party begin. That's our candidate. That's our leader; The unlikely person who views his entire existence as that of being an Eved Hashem-literally a servant of Hashem who cannot do anything, but for the will of God.

We need a Moshe today. We have had enough politics and poli-shticks, enough agendas, enough campaigns and enough fighting. Ritzoneinu Liros Malkeinu- We want to see our King. Moshe within 50 days of us leaving the lowest place where Jews can fall was able to raise our nation up to the highest level of our entire existence. Because it was never about him, he was nothing and therefore he became everything. We knew that. We felt it and we were thus inspired to the degree where we became the nation of Hashem. We said Naa'she V'Nishma- we will do and we will hear- none of the details of what the Torah said were necessary for us to hear before our acceptance of it. It was the will of God and that's all that counted. Our inner Moshe was redeemed. We were ready to serve our Creator.

Now if we can only get that back again…
 Have a perfect mazeldike Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

********************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Kain braireh iz oich a braireh.”- No choice is also a choice

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah -In honor of Rivky and Luzzy’s wedding this week, the song I composed for their Chuppah. Like and share!!

https://youtu.be/2RO5QCMgo4A - Cool New Brachos Song! Borhei Prie Hae’etz the most interesting words song I’ve heard in a while

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxYcHAYHZjQ&index=13&list=PLhj2bbUa_1xYblDSJhSh8rBG7YLJFtjKA&t=0s-  The orginal ani maamin  (and in my opinion the nicest) by Pirchei COMPOSED BY MY DEAR DETROIT FRIEND AND NOT NEARLY CREDITED ENOUGH ITZY WEISBERG

https://itzyweisberg.bandcamp.com/track/sholom-aleichem -    And once we’re on the subject here’s another Itzy Classic- L’Kavod Shabbos Shalom Aleychem

https://youtu.be/_XwRdcKh4dg A Bibi Sitter- Election campaign ad

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q According to Christian tradition, one of the sites where Satan tried to tempt Jesus (their founder) was at:
A. The Mount of Olives
B. The Quarantal
C. Mount Zion
D. Kathisma

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat ShemosOne of the fantastic exercises of the serious lamdan is to try to take a midrash, which can be an aggadic interpretation, a story behind the text, a reflection of our sages, and try to figure out how the Rabbis inferred that from the text. See, I believe that there is a common misconception that midrash is just stories our rabbis passed down to us. The word midrash means to infer. And each midrash can be sourced in the text. You just have to be a lamdan sometimes to figure it out.

The parsha’s that have to do with the exile and exodus from Egypt perhaps have the most elaborate and are from the most embellished upon portions. We recount it each year by the Pesach Seder and we are told the ore you add the more praiseworthy you are. Let’s take one this week and explore. Shall we?
The Torah tells us
Shemos (2:23) And the king of Egypt died and the children of Israel groaned from the labor…
Rashi quotes the midrash that tells us that in fact Pharaoh didn’t die. Rather
Rashi (ibid) It teaches us that he became a leper and he would slaughter Jewish infants and bathe in their blood.
Yeah, that’s one of those famous midrashim that they make sure to teach your kids in kindergarten in Jewish day schools. Nothing like a few good nightmares. Now it would seem a very strange midrash being that the verse tells us that that he in fact died. How can they say that he didn’t? So there certainly are sources in the Talmud that teach us that a leper is one of four people that are considered dead even when they are alive. A pauper, a blind person and someone who doesn’t have children, are the others. So perhaps a leper could be considered dead, but why take it out of the simple understanding, the pshat. Where do they infer from the text that he in fact was not dead?
So the Gaon of Vilna, before whom the entire Torah was certainly an open book, tells us a rule. That actually has cool relevance to the Israeli Army today. The rule is that any time it mentions the death of any King in tanach, it just calles him by name and does not call him by title. As it says and Shlomo lay down with his fathers, and Aviya lay down, and Rechavam lay down. It never refers to them by the title King. In fact he says that David is mentioned 52 times as King all with the title  “King David” until he was dying and then it just reverts to calling him David in the words of our sages
Kohelet Rabba  (8:8)“Ein shilton b’yom ha’mavet- There is no authority on the day of death”
By the way that rule is implemented on graves of soldiers that are buried and killed in service. There are no ranks or titles on their graves. There is no ranking in death. We are all brothers on that day.
There is one place by king uziyahu where the Torah tells us
Isaiah (6) in the year of the death of King Uziyahu. And our sages over the note. And did he die? Rather he became a leper.
Their inference is of course from the above rule that if it calls him a king still then he must be alive.
So that being the case here as well if it says the King of Egypt died. That tells us as Rashi notes he must be alive. It calls him king. Now how do you know he was a leper. Be Lomdush! He certainly wasn’t poor. He was a King. As well we know that he wasn’t blind, as he would see all of the miracles and we even know he wasn’t childless, as Hashem said he would kill his first-born if he didn’t release our first-born. So that leaves leper.
Ok, now that we know he was a leper, why is the Torah telling us that here, now and what connection does it have to do with the Jews crying out. It must be that his becoming a leper was the source of their crying. Why? He must have been bathing in their blood.
And there you have it. A Midrash that sounded like a story or fable, but with a bit of lomdus and knowledge of rules of the Torah we can see it straight out of the text. Now see if you remember this one for your Pesach Seder.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Yehoshua’s spies 1272 BC  I’m very excited as we enter the next level of our exploration of Jewish eras and their people and places in Israel. We finished the 1270 years of world history until the Jews came into the land of Israel. In the process we covered the five books of the Torah. We know begin the books of the Prophets, the first being Yehoshua.
The book begins with the Jews still camped on the other side of the Jordan River, having just suffered the death of Moshe and his days of mourning. Yehoshua prepares for the entrance to Israel by sending two spies, Calev his fellow spy from the last time that went with him on Moshe’s mission 40 years prior, and Pinchas the grandson of Aharon. The spies cross over to the city of Yericho and stay by a house of “ill repute” where the “matron” of the home Rahav assists them in avoiding detection by the King who is looking for them. In exchange for her help (letting them hide on her roof amongst some flax while covering up and suggesting they left already, and then letting them climb out her window and escape) The agree to spare her and her families house when the will ultimately attack the city. The spies hide in the mountains and then cross back over to Yehoshua and give him the good news.

Now this story takes place in Yericho, which of course is inaccessible to us today without special military permission and accompaniment. Kind of like back then as well, the only difference is that today it is the State of Israel that is at fault for that, thank you very much Yitzchak Rabin in the Oslo agreements. There’s a big nice red sign outside that warns that entrance is forbidden to Israeli citizens and may be dangerous to your life. Nice! However, if one did make arrangements to tour Yericho, one can visit Tel El Sultan where they have the oldest wall in the world. Archaeologists date it about 7-8,000 years ago which of course would be before we date the Creation of the World. As well they find a tower that is the oldest and largest ever found. It certainly is cool to stand on top of ancient walls of a city the Torah tells us about, which is why it captured the attention of so many archaeologists.

I generally like to do lookouts there from Mitzpe Yericho porch where you can see the entire region. As well I like to point out when we are by the Lido gas station, at the intersection of Highway 1 from Jerusalem and the 90 Jordan valley highway, that the reason why this was the route chosen. Is because this is the only break in the mountain range in the to the center. In Hebrew it is called Matzok Haaeitikim- the break in the cliffs, the mountain range of course being formed by the colliding of continents at Creation, that formed the Syrian African Rift. Now in regards to spies and learning about their role in Israel in Ramat Hasharon there is the Israel intelligence center that is the museum dedicated to Israel spies and the various stories of them. One needs an appointment to get a tour there but from what I’m told it is well worth it.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S ELECTION JOKES  OF THE WEEK
Yankel Meets Berel and tells him with pride. “My son was running for the Knesset seat in the government in the last election.”
“Wow!” Says Berel, “And what does he do?”
“Nothing… He got elected!”

At an international medical conference the various countries were discussing the advancement of medicine in their respective nations.
The British doctor said “in England we are so advanced that I can take a kidney from a person and transplant it in another and within 6 weeks he will be out and abut looking for work”
The German doctor said “Well in Germany we can take a lung from one person and transplant it in another and he will be out looking for work in one month
The Russian doctor one-upped them when he announced that “In Russia they can take half a heart from someone and both of them will be up looking for work in two weeks!”
Well the Israeli not be outdone told them all that in Israel “We can take someone with a half a brain make him Prime Minister and in a half year half of the country is looking for work…”

Traffic was heavy on the Ayalon highway, inching along bit by bit. Finally Avi’s car makes it to the front and he sees a police officer and asks him what all the traffic is about. He tells him that there is a representative of Shas (sefardic political party) there and he rented a semi-trailer and is standing on top with a megaphone threatening that unless he gets 5 million shekels he needs in order to run in the upcoming elections he will pour kerosene all over himself and set himself on fire and jump off.
“So how much did he get so far”
About 100 liters of Benzine

So Bibi comes to visit a first grade class and ask the children know what would be considered a tragedy. Little Baruch raises his hand and says that it would be if a boy was crossing a street and didn’t look and was hit god forbid by a car. Bibi nodded however and told the boy that although that was a painful incident  it was not a tragedy.
Then little Chaim raised his hand and said that a tragedy would be if a bus with students got into an accident and many children get injured and died. Again Bibi noted that this was not a tragedy but rather a devastating loss.
Finally little Dudu raised his hands and said that a tragedy would be if the Prime Minister and Knesset members were all in a plane and it crashed and they all died. Bibi nodded his head solemnly and said that Dudu was correct that would be a terrible tragedy. He asked Dudu how he knew and he said quite simply
Because I knew it was not a terrible tragedy or a devastating loss.”
 ************
Answer is C–  I guessed this one as well. Truth is I wasn’t even going to include it as I really don’t like the Christian stuff. But hey, it’s the season and you can’t run away from it. Even in Israel, unfortunately. In our tour guiding course we spent 2 days in the North visiting the J-Man sites around the Galile and we had at least three days of Chrsitian tours in Jerusalem. It’s so much baloney, I was just googling yoshka jokes by the end. Anyways, on this question I eliminated Mt. of Olives and Mt. Zion because although there are a lot of churches they had to do with the end of his life where he cried, bled and prayed and pished. The temptation thing was a rip off of the Eliyahu Hanavi story where he flees into the Midbar/ wilderness for 40 days and argues with Hashem about the Jewish people. I wasn’t sure if it was Korantal or Kathisma, somehow the Korantal sounded more familiar. It was actually right by Yericho, where Eliyahu was and I got it right. The Katchisma was the seat that Mary rested on somewhere between Beit Lechem and Jerusalem. But who cares? The important this that the….
score is Schwartz 10 and 1 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Secret E-mail- Parshat Vayechi 5779 / 2018


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
December 21st 2018 -Volume 9 Issue 12-13th of Tevet 5779

Parshat Vayechi


Shhhh… I’m going to tell you a secret. Don’t tell anyone. I can trust you, right? OK, get ready. Here we go… Mashiach is on his way. Are you disappointed? I don’t mean are you disappointed that he’s coming, of course. I know you’re all ready to give up your homes, your pizza shops, and plethora of Kosher food supermarkets. Your tuition, shidduchim, “at- risk” youth, government-interference-in-schools and vaccination crises you certainly want to escape from. I don’t even understand why you’ve continuing suffering them and haven’t just packed out already. What I mean to ask is, are you disappointed that this is what my big secret is. You’ve heard it before. Chabad has been telling you it for years with big billboards. Although some of them might think he’s already come. But we’ve heard that before as well. Yet, when Rabbi Schwartz tells you he’s coming you know it must be true. Tour guides are not allowed to make things up. It’s against the rules. So now are you getting excited?

 I often quote for my tourists as we begin our trips, the powerful insight I once heard said by Rav Hutner. He said that when the Christians came they stole tanach from us. Once they started being busy with Isaiah 53 and Ezekiel 25 nobody learns tanach anymore. Then, he continued, the maskilim- enlightenment movement in the 1700’s stole dikduk- grammar from us. Until they came along it was learned and studied and great poetry came out of it. But once they made it the focus of yiddishkeit, we stopped learning it. Anyone that did was suspect of being a heretic. He concluded that the secular Zionists- the tziyonim, stole Eretz Yisrael from us. If you talk too much about Israel and the love for the land and moving there. Boom. You’re one of them. I added that Chabad stole Mashiach. Anyone that talks too much about Mashiach and his coming, you may as well pinch in your hat in the front and the back and start putting teffilin on people in the subway. You’re a chabadtzke. He concluded ruefully, with the words we say in one of our Yom Kippur piyutim

Ein lanu shiyur rak ha’torah ha’zos”- the only thing we have left is our Torah

It’s all about the bass… I mean Bais… Midrash, of course.  What did you think I meant?

When I’m with my tourists, I tell them that we are going to try to recapture some of the tanach that has been tragically stolen from our education. I, of course throw in some Eretz Yisrael as well. Dikduk, I don’t mind leaving for the maskilim though.

But the truth is you’re right to be a bit sceptical. We’ve been waiting a long time and have had quite a bit of disappointments throughout the millennia. Many people thought after the holocaust and with the establishment of the State we were looking at not just the reishit tzmichat geulasayinu- but the imminent conclusion of our redemption as well. Certainly after the miraculous 6- Day war messianic fervour was on a high. But even in early centuries. The Chasidic movement was viewed to be messianic, The Ramchal and Reb Yonasan Eibeishitz were accused of being closet Sabbateans, followers of the false Messiah Shabtai Tzi in the 1600’s. And even before that, the Rambam, who himself decries those that foolishly try to figure out when Mashiach is coming gives a date, as do Saadiah Gaon, Rashi, Tosafos and the Ramban. The Talmud tells us that 65 years after the destruction Rabbi Akiva, pinched in his black hat and put up posters all over Yerushalyim that Mashiach had arrived and was none other than his student Bar Kochva. Three years later, when Hadrian ploughed down the Temple Mount and Rabbi Akiva was tortured to death in Caesarea before a jeering mob, that hope died as well.

So perhaps you have a right to be sceptical. It may even be a healthy thing, particularly if someone tries to convince you that he’s here already or has come. But yet we have a mitzvah and principal of faith to believe that he is coming. B’chol yom she’yavo- any day he can come. So are you packing yet?

This week the parsha tells us of the first person to try to reveal the keitz- the final day when mashiach will come. It is the end of Yaakov’s life and he calls his children together and the Torah tells us

Bereshis (49:1) He’asfu v’agida lachem es asher yikra b’achris hayamim- gather and I will tell you what will occur in the end of days.

Rashi brings the gemara which tells us that Yaakov wanted to reveal when Mashiach would come however the shechina departed from him and he was unable to. The Lubavitcher Rebbe asks (who else?), what was the point in Yaakov trying to reveal the end of days? If you ask me it would be pretty depressing, as it would be over 3000 years away. Even if you want to suggest that Yaakov wanted to reveal the time of the Exodus from Egypt to them, which had the potential to be the final redemption had we merited. It was still a good few centuries away and couldn’t possibly be that inspiring. In addition, if Yaakov, who’s every desire was bound to the will of Hashem, felt that it was important, why didn’t Hashem allow him to reveal it? Why did the Divine presence leave him?

The Rebbe thus explains, brilliantly, that Yaakov understood that if he revealed to his children that the coming of Mashiach was imminent. That it was a done deal. That they had the ability to make the leaving of Egypt the final Exodus. We would be able to go to Eretz Yisrael and never leave and never be exiled. Never have to wander, suffer and be hidden from Hashem. If we knew that, we would’ve made sure not to fail, not to fail and not to sin. Perhaps our Exodus from there could’ve even come and been sooner. After all, if the fact that Hashem knocked off some years because of the extremely hard labour and the persecution we endured, we certainly could’ve gotten off early for good behaviour.  Not only was this what Yaakov wanted to happen, but Hashem did as well.

The problem is that if we are only “behaving” because we know the redemption is right around the corner, we aren’t meriting it on our own initiative. We are only doing teshuva, we are only keeping the mitzvos because we know mashiach is on his way and we don’t want to be left behind. So Hashem had to remove His shechina, to even out the “free-will” balance.  It was then that the keitz- the end of days was removed from Yaakov. Yaakov realized that it was preferable to have the shechina with us and the Divine help that we need to make it through the galus, then the knowledge of the expiration date of when it would finally be over.

There is no question in my mind that mashiach is around the corner. Hey, Donald Trump got elected president. Now if only he would run for prime minister of Israel as well… But seriously we are living in a period when we see all of the prophecies being fulfilled. I recently bought a book by the tachana merkazit in Yerushalayim, which in itself is pretty cool that you can buy sefarim at the bus station. It’s called Ha’Nevuah- the prophecy. It goes through all of the different predictions of the torah of the end of days and it’s amazing. The desolate land flourishing once again, the exiles returning en masse, the milk production, the water technology, the light unto the nations. This is it. But yet, for most of us it doesn’t seem like an imminent reality. The shechina has been removed from us in recognizing and appreciating that it is almost here. It’s been removed so we might merit it on our recognizance. So that our motivation and inspiration to do the mitzvos, to increase our Torah, to reach out and love our fellow man and unite as a nation should be for the sake of Hashem and not for the redemption.

So that’s why you have to keep our little secret. Don’t forward this week’s E-Mail to the usual 100 or so people you forward it to weekly. They’ll find out soon enough anyways. In the meantime, just pretend like you don’t know. Go on to work like you do every day, daven the same way you always have and certainly don’t increase your charity by sponsoring any weekly E-Mails. People might get suspicious. I’ll let you know when it actually happens, being here on the ground and all. I can’t promise though that you will be able to get a good seat though when it happens. You know us Israelis. We’ve been waiting in line here a lot longer than you have and we don’t let anyone, certainly not late-comers push to the front of the line.   
 Have a redemptive Shabbos Chazak!
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

********************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Az meshiach vet kumen, vellen alleh krankeh oisgehailt verren; nor a nar vet bleiben a nar.”- When the messiah comes, all the sick will be healed; only a fool will stay a fool.

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yesimcha    - This week’s Torah portion my beautiful composition from the parsha of birkas habanim and banos. Yesimcha Elokim- like and share J

https://youtu.be/KZONyoL-AK4      Ever wonder how we can wait so long for Mashiach? Check out energizer bunny Rabbi! Funny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxYcHAYHZjQ&index=13&list=PLhj2bbUa_1xYblDSJhSh8rBG7YLJFtjKA&t=0s- The orginal ani maamin  (and in my opinion the nicest) by Pirchei

https://youtu.be/GWRErwRLvqU  -    Incredible footage of Lubavitcher Rebbe singing Ani Maamin

https://youtu.be/eL4hxGVwcwU - An Maamin Medley Simcha Leiner

https://youtu.be/giQxG9nhANY - The story and music behind the original Modzitz Ani Maamin

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q  The Samaritans do not observe:
A. Rosh haShana (New Year)
B. Yom haKipurim (Day of Atonement)
C. Hanukah
D. Sukkot (Succoth; Feast of Tabernacles)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat VayechiLamdanim are precise with their words. Each word is measured. Each word is necessary. The greatest sages wrote the most succinctly. However, if you unravel those few words a whole world can unfold before you. Perhaps one of the most succinct and brilliant of the lamdanim was Rabbi Akiva Eiger. His questions and notes on the Talmud are generally never more than a few words and usually he just throws you a source. The rest is for you to figure out. Here, let me show you.

In this week’s Torah portion, Yosef visits his father Yaakov on his death bed. The Torah tells us that Yaakov bowed down to the head of the bed. Rashi on that verse explains.

Bereishis (47:31) He turned himself to the side of the shechina- the divine presence. From here they said that the shechina is above the head of the sick person.

The source that Rashi seems to be referencing is the Talmud in Shabbos 12b and Nedarim 40b that both quote Rebbi Avin as saying

Reb Avin said in the name of Rav from where do we know that the shechina resides above the bed of the sick person as it says
Psalms (41:4) The Lord will support him on his sickbed

Now if you took a peek at Rabbi Akiva Eiger’s notes there and he says 7 short words
look at Rashi in Chumash Parshat Vayechi ‘and he bowed’ etc.”

Succinct enough for you? We’ve seen the Rashi. Can you figure out what is bothering Reb Akiva Eiger? Seemingly, the problem would be that Rashi suggests that the source of the idea that Hashem is above the sick is from Yaakov, bowing down toward the head of the bed. It would seem as well that the gemara should use the Torah verse as a source as that’s always a better source than tehillim which are words of the prophet. So when Rabbi Akiva Eiger learned the gemara, he remembered this Rashi, obviously and noted it.

Now in yeshiva, my rebbi Rav Meir Hershkowitz, would always try to explain Rabbi Akiva Eiger’s questions. Yet in suggesting solutions he would always say lomdishlythere is a way to ‘not -understand’ Rabbi Akiva Eiger’s question.”   Meaning, he didn’t feel that any answer he could come up with was something that Rebbi Akiva Eiger hadn’t already thought of. The best we can do is try to come up with a way that would explain it to ourselves.
So in that vein the Maharik explains that we require both verses. For from the verse from Tehillim of Rebbi Avin we only see that the shechina, Hashem’s presence, is above the sick person. But where exactly it doesn’t tell us. Our verse which tells us that Yaakov bowed to the head of the bed is the next piece of the puzzle. Why the head of the bed? It must be because that is precisely where the shechina that Rebbi Avin mentioned is resting.

How’s that for a lomdushe insight?

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The Death of Moshe - 1273 BC- That’s it we finish the 5 books of the Torah this week. Not bad it only took us a few months. The Torah ends with Moshe’s final speech to the Jewish people and blessings, his writing of 13 Torah scrolls (1 for each of the 12 tribes and one for the Ark of the covenant), his ordination of Yehoshuah and going up to Mt. Nevo where he received the “kiss of death” from Hashem. The Torah tells us until today no one knows where he is buried.

Now Har Nevo we do know where it is. It’s right across from the top of Dead Sea in in Moav / Jordan where it meets the Jordan River. In fact, a quick google search tells me that there are churches over there. The Muslims of course have their own bubbeh maaseh, off the road down to the Dead Sea from Jerusalem one can pass by Nebi Musa a big mosque there. Now they also believe that Moshe didn’t come into Israel, but for political reasons Baibers, in the 1200’s took what was once a lookout to Har Nevo and Moshe’s burial place, and made it into the place that Muhammed brought Moshe after he died.

In terms of the 13 Torah’s of Moshe I can’t show them to my tourists as well, however in many places in Israel one can see Torah’s that have been brought home to Israel there are many cool ones. In the Foreign Ministry there is a sefer Torah smuggled out of Bagdhad. In Tzfat the Abuhav synagogue has a 500 year old sefer Torah written by him, that saved the Ark that it was in druing the Earthquake there of 1837. As well in the Karo Synagogue there is a Torah smuggled out with the Jews from the Spanish inquisition as well as from Persia and Iraq. My personal favourite is perhaps the oldest complete Torah in the world which can be found at Kever Rachel. There is one from ashkenaz from the 14th century and one from Spain 13th century not long after the Rambam lived. They’re my favourite because they were donated by my Uncle Mendy OB”M who was behind the entire building of Mama Rachel. May his neshoma have an Aliyah.

Finally although not a resting place for Moshe Rabbeinu, but when ever I go to the Rambam’s grave in Tiverya there is a big sign that says from Moshe to Moshe there has been no other Moshe. Just as Moshe Rabbeinu was not allowed to enter the land of Israel, the Rambam was not allowed to live his life dream of moving here, although he did visit. Yet the Rambam is buried here and it is fitting that Moshe Rabbeinu is memorialized there as well.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S MASHIACH JOKES  OF THE WEEK
(Thank You Mendy)
Yankel comes home from shul and tells his wife: "They say Mashiach is coming any day, and will take us all to Israel."
His wife becomes hysterical. "Oh no! It would be terrible. It took years till we could finally move into this neighborhood and buy the house we wanted. Now we've spent a fortune fixing it up. I don't want the Mashiach to take us away."
"Okay, okay, don't worry," the husband says. "We survived Pharaoh, we survived Haman. With G-d's help, we'll survive the Messiah too!"

Avi and Chaim are waiting at the government office, and the typical Israeli government employee is taking a long time to come. One person turns to the other and says "We have been waiting so long for her! It is like waiting for the Moshiach!"
The other responds, "Not at all! The Messiah will definitely come eventually; as for the government...

Berel visits a zoo and is taken to the lion's cage. He witnesses there the literal fulfillment of Isaiah prophecy - a lion and a calf in a cage together.
Amazed, he calls over an attendant. "How long have you had a lion and a calf in a cage together?"
"Over a year already."
"How do you do it?"
"It's easy. Every morning we put in a new calf."

A Rebbe once told his chasidim:
“When Moshiach comes there will be a long line, with everybody rushing to greet him".
I, however will not rush. To the contrary, I'll try to be last on line. "When my turn comes Moshiach will ask me: "R. Mendel! Where were you until now?!" I will reply: "Moshiach, Where were you until now?!

The difference between Misnagdim and Chasidim. When Mashiach comes and goes into a Litvishe Beit Medrash and the recognize him they will say
Mashiach, wow you got here so fast. If you would’ve given us a little more time and a heads up we would’ve prepared a beautiful shtikel torah and pilpul for you.”
When he comes to a chasidish yeshiva they will tell him
Mashiach, what took you so long, if you would’ve been here quicker we would’ve saved you a little bit of kugel and herring!”

************
Answer is C–  You don’t have to be a tour guide to answer this one, just a bit of a detective that can do some basic process of deduction. Alternatively, you can just play the Sesame Street Game of which of these things are not like the others. You don’t have to know that the Samaritans, or Shomronim as they are referred to in Hebrew and Tanach, are ‘fake Jews’ who after the destruction of the second temple pretended to be Jews, and only follow the written law as they understand it and not the Rabbinic explanations, traditions and establishments. Although if you knew that you certainly could get this question right. All you have to know is that whereas Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashana and Sukkot are all biblical holidays, Chanukah established during the 2nd Temple is rabbinic. If you don’t know that much, then you probably should go to yeshiva and learn a little before becoming a tour guide.
score is Schwartz 9 and 1 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.