Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, February 23, 2024

Dressed to Kill- Parshat Tetzave 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 23rd 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 19 14th of Adar 5784

Parshat Tetzave

 Dressed to Kill

 

They had just shot off missiles into Khan Yunis about 3 miles from where I was standing. The battery was still warm and there was smoke rising in the distance on the shmoddered building with hopefully a bunch Hamas guys dying painfully in agony under the rubble. I was smiling as I was schmoozing with these Miluimnik brigade from this Givati artillery unit. They hadn’t been home for a few months and had just been moved here from further north up in Gaza Strip area. It was hard to believe that I was just shooting the breeze with these heroes right there, a stone’s throw from the battlefield. It's amazing what a few burgers and steaks BBQ can get you these days. Before October 7th to get onto an Army base with my tourists I would need weeks of security checks, passports, permits from everyone in the government their mothers and fifty waivers signed in triplicate apostilled and signed by the secretary of Defense and the entire US state Department. Today a few slices of pizza and some doughnuts and Walla!, you’re on a top secret base checking out the nuclear codes. It’s a new world.

The reason for this new phenomenon I’m pretty sure is because the Army and government understand that the war we are fighting today is different than anything we’ve ever faced before. It’s not just a soldier war. It’s a civilian war. Our people were taken. They were raped, they were burned, they were savagely brutalized, their bodies desecrated and mutilated, and their homes and villages destroyed. This hasn’t happened in a hundred years- since the 1929 Arab pogroms that took place in then all over the country and in Chevron. Until now this was always considered the worst attack on the homeland and there were 67 people killed in Chevron. There were 6 times that amount in just the Nova festival alone let alone all the Kibbutzim. This wasn’t and isn’t a war about soldiers or land. It’s about us. It’s our family and thus the civilians get to come to the bases to give strength and support to our soldiers who need it. And their need is not less then we the nation’s need to give and to connect with these heroes who are putting their lives on the line to protect and avenge us.

So there I was sitting schmoozing with the boys. I asked them what Shabbos was like out there in middle of nowhere fighting against the enemy. Yair told me that to be honest it was very weird. He recalled how the first Shabbos they were there they were sitting around in the afternoon after having traveled and moved bases and positions. He said how one of them pointed out that they were trying to figure out if there were any prohibited melachos that they didn’t violate over Shabbos. They had lit fires, built, and taken down tents, carried publicly etc… Perhaps one of them suggested they didn’t bake anything.

They said they knew that the military Rabbi had told them that they should obviously do whatever they needed to do. There’s not too many situations that are much more life and death than war. They were even told not to even bother doing anything with a bit of a change, a shinui- which would categorically transform any Shabbos violation from a Biblical prohibition to a Rabbinic one. They didn’t need to use their weaker hand or anything out of the ordinary. It was Pikuach Nefesh. Life is most important. Yet they felt guilty. Maybe they could do a little change. A little backhanded motions It just didn’t feel Shabbosdik.

One of the nice things about being a Rabbi, that I had gotten used to while I was doing Jewish outreach for many years, was how incredible it is when all of sudden, words come out of my mouth and I have no idea where it came from. It’s like Bilaam’s donkey’s mouth being opened up. On the one hand it is extremely humbling, On the other, it is so so cool when all of a sudden the right thing to say just pops out. I turned to the soldiers and addressed them and asked what they thought they would see if-or better yet when God- willing soon, when the Bais Ha’Mikdash  is rebuilt in Jerusalem.  What would Shabbos there look like? Do you know what would be going on? There would imaginably, jarringly to us, see Kohanim slaughtering animals, lighting fires. They would be separating offerings, lighting the Menorah, even, the Talmud tells us playing instruments and music. Can you imagine that? And there was not even one little Yerushalmi kid yelling at them and throwing stuff yelling “Shabbos! Shabbos! Gevalt!”

The reason for this is because it’s understood that this is the service of Shabbos. It’s the Bais Ha’Mikdash. It’s what Hashem commanded. Do you think for a minute the Kohanim felt bad? That perhaps they thought they should do the service with a shinui? Of course not! In fact it would be pasul if they did. It would be invalid and they would be liable for the offense. They were doing the service of Hashem. They were fulfilling the highest mitzva possible. They were bringing light to the world, a resting place for the Shechina. A raiyach nichoach la’Hashem- a sweet, pleasant smell to Hashem.

Well you soldiers,” I said-or to be more accurate the Divine words came out of my mouth and said- “are the Kohanim Gedolim of our generation. You are doing the avodas ha’kodesh, the Divine work of this world. You are saving lives. You are eradicating evil. You are bringing light. That battery you shot off is the menora. That smoke rising in the distance is the ketores. It is the heavenly incense. It is a rayach nichoach- a sweet pleasant aroma before Hashem. There’s nothing to feel bad about. You are doing the avoda of Shabbos. Bringing peace to the world. Our little BBQ we made for you is our simple matnas kahuna. It is our priestly gifts. Go do your work faithfully. Thank you for your service.”

This week’s parsha introduces us to the role and special clothing of the Kohanim; their uniforms. Because soldiers of Hashem need uniforms. The uniforms by the way came from the donations of the people. I’m just dropping that little piece there the next time you get an appeal for helmets or vests for soldiers. That’s what we’re donating here. Bigdie kehuna- priestly garments. Nobody asked why doesn’t the government or the Army take care of that? They understood, that there was no army, no government. They’re our kohanim serving for us and it’s an honor and privilege to clothe them. But that’s just an aside.

The Kohanim we are told were chosen because they replaced the first-borns after the sin of the Golden Calf. They restored the honor of Hashem. They gave their lives for that. But on an even deeper level they gave their souls. They became killers. They fought against the sinners, the eirev rav who had incited the nation to sin and forget that Hashem is the one who took us out of Egypt. It wasn’t Moshe, whose name isn’t even mentioned in this Parsha. That was the miscontzeptzia that led to the golden calf. Moshe didn’t do anything. It was all Hashem.

Even without Moshe we would still be redeemed. We still have Hashem. We only really had Hashem. Because Hashem is in us. Moshe was just there to reveal it to us. And the sin that the Kohanim fought against after the Golden calf was to eradicate the notion that we needed a Moshe, a golden calf, a government ,a peace agreement ,a United States or United Nations to rescue us. The First Borns didn’t see it that way. But the children of Aharon did. The tribe of Levi was there. They were called Levites because they knew that Hashem was always being melave- accompanying us. He is the only Melave Neshek- the armed accompaniment that we ever need.

Yet there is an even deeper reason why the tribe of Levi and specifically the children of Aharon were chosen to be the ones that would be given the honor of this service. The reason is because they were willing to take the “sin” themselves rather than the Jewish people. For it was Aharon who seeing the unrest of the nation and the turmoil they were suffering that was drawing them into sins that they couldn’t step back from that brought him up to the base and take the sin of the Golden Calf upon himself. The Medrash states

At the time that the Jewish people came to do the action, they first came to Chur and said

‘Make us a god’.

When he refused to listen to them, they stood upon him and killed him. They then approached Aharon and he feared and he said “Now what will I do. They killed Chur who was a prophet, if they now kill me then the prophecy of killing ‘a prophet and Kohen in one day’ will cause them to be immediately exiled. It is better that the blame of the sin should be placed upon me and not Israel…

Hashem then said to Aharon. You “loved righteousness” seeking out to keep My children righteous and didn’t want them to be found guilty of evil. Therefore, Hashem your God has anointed you. By My life from all the tribe of Levi only you and your descendants will be chosen for the High priesthood.’

 The Shvilei Pinchas brings an incredible Chasam Sofer that explains this idea as being the highest form of Mesirus Nefesh- sacrificing one’s life for the sanctification of Hashem. He notes that when one is martyred or killed for the name of Hashem, or gives up their lives rather than violate a sin or on behalf of the Jewish people, then as holy and incredible as that is, they really are only giving up their bodies. Their physical existence. Their souls though they know will live eternally. Aharon saw Chur do this and understood though that something even more dramatic had to be done to save the Jewish people. He decided that he was going to give up his soul as well. He was going to sin, so that they wouldn’t. He was ready to give up his portion in the World to Come eternally in order that the rest of the Jewish people won’t fall to a place that they would never be able to come back from. He decided it was better for him to sin and take all the blame and allow the Jewish people to remain pure. Hashem’s spirit would still be capable of resting amongst them. Aharon understood that would sacrifice would potentially mean that he wouldn’t merit to be there with them. But he was ready to give it all up. At least the nation and Hashem would be able to remain whole.

 Ironically, he reads homiletically and quite literally a new insight in the words of Rashi who quotes the midrash that describes that ultimately when the Mishkan was built and Moshe told Aharon to come close and bring the offering, Aharon was intimidated and felt unworthy. He felt that he had sinned with the golden calf. Moshe then told him that he shouldn’t feel embarrassed.

 Ki lakach nivcharta- because it was precisely because you sinned and took the sin of the people upon yourself that Hashem chose you.

 The Radomsker Rebbe takes this even a step further. He understands that Moshe was telling him that it was for this reason specifically she’nivcharta- that you, Aharon, chose to do this sin. It was in order that you could do teshuva and bring an offering. In that way you could lift up the rest of the nation and help them do teshuva as well. For a tzadik only has the ability to lift up others if he is in some way connected to the people and their sin. If the tzadik doesn’t have any shaychus to that particular failing, if he doesn’t relate to the challenge and struggle of the people that come to him, then it’s not within him to lift them up. “

 You, Aharon,” Moshe told him “Chose to do this sin in order that you can bring the people to teshuva and atonement through you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t feel ashamed. Your sin was only a “melacha she’eino tzarich l’gufa- a sin that never had any intent of any violation of the law. And thus you should come close and bring the offerings.”

 With this idea he explains is the uniform that the Kohen wears in the form of the eiphod apron that had the names of Israel on its stones on each of his shoulders- besides the names that were written on as well upon the breastplate stones The two shoulders, the Koznitzer Magid explains, are like the wings of the nesher that Hashem promises to bring us to Israel upon. Rashi tells us the nesher (really a griffin- not the commonly mistranslated eagle, but hey I’ll let it fly… excuse the pun) is the highest bird that flies with its children on its back. It does so because it is not scared of danger from any predators above. It’s only threat is from the hunter with an arrow from below. It says “it is better that the arrows should pierce me rather than my children”. So too, Hashem says that I’d rather that I  and the one that gets shot rather than my children Israel.

 The Magid asks, is Hashem really fearful of any arrows or hunters down below? Who could possibly shoot something that would make Hashem feel the need to protect us by putting on His back? Rather he explains that the idea is that when the Jewish people were leaving Egypt the Satan claimed against us that we were idolators and sinners and were not worthy of miracles. We were not worthy of being redeemed. We were too far gone. We were ugly. We were fighting. We were October 6th.

It is to these Satan’s accusatory arrows that Hashem said, He would take the bullet for. He would take upon Himself the blame. He would put us on His back and redeem us and bring us Home. Those are the wings of the eagles. And that is the shoulder stones of Aharon of the eiphod that he wears with the names of the children of Israel that he carries upon himself as well. He carries us, he took the bullet for us as our soldiers today as well “violate” the Shabbos in order that we may keep it. That Hashem could rest amongst His nation.

 As I’ve said every week, we are getting closer and closer to that final day. The bigdei kehuna are on our soldiers. These holy kohanim are carrying the burden of the Jewish people on their shoulders. Those vests that they are wearing on their hearts are shining out the light of the tribes of Israel of  each one of us represented by a precious stone that has its own color and light to it. It’s that achdus, that unity, that makes them bullet proof. I was moved to tears this week as I saw the light in their eyes as they read letters that my tourists or more accurately “war-ists” brought them from children all over America. They felt the love. They felt the caring. They understood that despite what the world accuses them of, despite the trauma and pain of their brothers that have fallen, the sacrifices that have been taken from us on that holy altar of Hashem and the danger of arrows flying from the Satan, they have nothing to be intimidated or embarrassed of. They are doing avodas ha’kodesh- the holiest work in the world. May Hashem watch over and protect them with their mission and His completed for eternity.

 Have a festive Shabbos and fraylich Purim Katan,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 ************************

CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

Just when you thought this E-Mail couldn’t get any longer… well here it goes. Don’t worry it’s not like I have any extra time on my hands to write another column here. In fact I’ve been meaning to do this already for weeks and it’s only now after 125 days of War that I finally have a chance to add this essential column which is dedicated to giving you readers an opportunity to have a meaningful part of helping out our country and nation by donating to a weekly link of a different organization, a cause, soldiers, refugees, supplies, Hostage families, widows, farmers etc… There are so many needs and I know that you want to participate and help them not just read about them. So each week I will feature in our E-Mail in this column another cause and link that you can contribute and make a meaningful difference to. (this of course should not come at the expense of your sponsorship of my weekly E-Mail or our upcoming Purim appeal in another month 😊) But this is a way that you can bring light and money to the so many that need it. Give what you can. But give regularly and if you can I’d really appreciate if if you send me a screenshot or message of your donation as I can then forward it to whoever receives it so they know that it came from our helpful readers. So here we go…

 EZRAT ACHIM- Long before October 7th Ezrat Achim founded in 1997 by Rav Kopp the head of Zaaka in Beit Shemesh has been known to be the address for chesed in the community. What had started as a small organization that would provide medical equipment for families with chronic illnesses and medical needs exploded into a full-time provider and center over Corona when they took responsibility for so many families that required assistance from food preparation, transportation, Vaccines, Bilirubin testing for children. Since October 7th though they expanded their activities assisting thousands of evacuated families with their basic needs, with getting their children into schools, with medical assistance. They prepare meals and food for Soldiers daily as well as basic supplies that they are lacking. As well as offer support for wives and families of soldiers serving and families in mourning over lost sons. There is almost no area that this incredible organization doesn’t touch and it is manned by thousands of volunteers who come daily to prepare help and assist in every area.

 Check out this short clip and link to see some of their amazing work

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0BuZt9_1Us

 And here’s the link to donate

 https://ezratachim.com/en/donation/

 

 YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Shpilt tsu di shoh, iz kain zind nit duh.”- If it’s done at the right time, it’s not a sin.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

28.The language in which the sights in the "Madaba Map" are written is ___________.

What is the name of the trail which begins in Nazareth, and the pilgrims walk in the footsteps of

Jesus?

A. The trail of the Apostles

B. The Nazareth trail

C. The Gospel trail

D. The Sea of Galilee circuit trail

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem -  My latest release- an amazing gorgeous new song to be sung about our upcoming redemption… V’Atem- Wings of Eagles… thank you Dovid Lowy for arrangements and Vocals! Let me know what you think!!

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/layehudim  – Get into the Purim Spirit with Rabbi Schwartz compositions- Here’s my La’Yehudim with Dovid Lowy on Vocals and Arrangements

 https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/techelet-mordechai  And of course here’s my Techelet Mordechai composition with Yitz Berry. You haven’t celebrated Purim Katan until you’ve listened.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PydoRLq_agUDovid Lowy kumzitz at Mevaseret

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hptZdP_hulY   – Latest KoKulam very moving community of Beeri meeting and singing with Chatzeirim where they are moving to…

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Dressed for SucessThis week we start getting closer and closer to the service of the Beit Ha”Mikdash/ Mishkan with the inauguration of the Kohanim into the service. Last week we described much of the vessels of the Mishkan which our sages tell us correspond to our modern day Mikdash Me’at- our shuls. It begins with the Neir Tamid- the eternal lamp that is the custom to have in our Shuls in the front before the Ark which of course corresponds to the Holy of Holies where the Aron is located. There are Menoras in our shul and of course there is the Kohen who is today represented by our Chazan; the Shaliac Tzibbur.

 The Parsha continues though with the special clothing that the Kohen wears. They are for honor. They are for splendor. He is the representative of the people and he has to dress that way. The clothing to a large degree make the man and there are mystical aspects to the design and hidden meanings in everything that he wears. Today as well although there is no specific uniform for a Chazan to wear there is an appreciation that he has to dress respectably. In some shuls the Chazan is required to wear a hat and jacket, in others a gartel belt and in others its merely long pants and sleeves that cover their elbows. I’ve even seen some shuls with artificial makeshift long sleeves that they have to attach to their shirts. I dunno… it just looked weird to me.

 There is an amazing idea that Rav Shimon Schwab writes about clothing and its impact. He notes that whenever we make a bracha on a mitzva we recite the words that Hashem sanctifies us with His mitzvot- Asher Kidishanu B’Mitzvotuv. When we do a mitzva with our body then our body becomes sanctified. It becomes holy. He explains with this why one doesn’t make a blessing on the Torah by merely thinking about Torah, only if one writes or speaks in learning. For mitzvos that one fulfills only in the mind or with faith doesn’t impact the physical body. It doesn’t sanctify the body.

 He notes as well that’s why when we wash our hands before praying (which fascinatingly enough the Gaon of Vilna’s custom is to do that with a blessing) we recite al Netilat Yadayim- that we have uplifted our hands. Our actual body becomes sacred. And thus he continues that if we view our bodies as holy, as a sefer Torah, then as well we understand the idea of why our clothing which is like the cover of a sefer Torah has to be holy as well.

 Conceptually one might think that they can pray and talk to Hashem in a Mickey Mouse T-Shirt but can you imagine aSefer Torah with a T-Shirt on top of it. Our bodies are no less holy. Particularly when we come to Hashem and daven to Him. When we pray, we are the Kohanim. We become holy physically through that act. And thus the clothing we wear when we prepare for that can and will change the way we treat our prayers. And if you dress right, we will be answered right as well.  

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

740 BC-When Jews go to the Goyim to solve our problems - With the return of the 200,000 hostages to Achaz’s kingdom of Yehuda that were taken by Pekachiah’s kingdom in the North after the civil war and where 120,000 were killed, Achaz became even blindingly even more rebellious and pathetically blind to his evil ways. He banned Torah study in Yehuda. He closed down the yeshivas, the Kollels and it wasn’t even to send them into army duty. It was literally a Communist shutdown, it was like the Inquisition and the decrees of Antiochus. But this was Jews led by a Jewish king.

 He shut down the Temple service in the Beit Ha’Mikdash, he put a throne in the sanctuary, and he permitted forbidden marriages. They don’t teach this stuff in school because it is just too incomprehensible to understand. But it’s our history. It’s important to see how far we can fall. And at the same time, it’s also important to realize that as bad as we may ever think things may be, how secular we might think our modern day State or Jewry state of affairs is, it was worse then. Much worse then…We’ve still come a long way and very very far from how we were back then.

 In response to this once again the northern kingdom flared up against Achaz, yet this time Pekachia incomprehensibly made an alliance with the Hezbolla terrorists from Aram which is in modern day Syria the capital being Damascus and their king Rezin. Jews allying themselves with our murdering enemies to attack their brothers in Jerusalem. They swooped down from the North and laid siege on Jerusalem. This was a mistake and again it’s not what Hashem wants to see. Hashem thus sent the prophet Yeshaya (whom we will talk more about) to assure the wicked Achaz that he needn’t fear. This step that the kingdom of Israel was too much for Hashem. It’s one thing if we fight amongst ourselves which is serious enough. But to actually bring our enemies of Free Palestine into this against us is too much to bear. Thus he told Achaz that Ephraim (the name for the Northern kingdom of Israel would be destroyed and exiled within 6 years.

 And yet even at this point in time Achaz doesn’t relent. He refuses to rely on Hashem even in this most serious of situations. He decides he needs to take things into his own hands. His plan…? Hook up with Assyria and its king Tigleteth Pilesar and join forces with him against Aram who had conquered the southern city of Eilat. And thus the continuing saga of the exile of the Jewish people from our land and the desecration of our Temple moves to the next level. Phase two has begun

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE UNIFORM JOKES OF THE WEEK

 Where do hockey players go to get another uniform? New Jersey

Last night, I gave my wife a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar...She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor.

 A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"

"I'm an undercover detective."

"Then why are you in uniform?"

"Today is my day off."

 Why is the army so strict about their uniforms? To minimize casual tees...

 Yesterday I saw a police officer wearing a pilot's uniform I thought it was a bit odd. Then I realized he was one of those "plane clothes cops."

 A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to an old veteran sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.

"The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, BPS, light-speed processing .... and," pausing to take another drink of beer.... The old vet took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young, .. so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little twit, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was deafening. Don't you just love old vets...?

 A fellow came to a tailor to have a suit made for a special occasion. When the suit was ready the man came to the tailor's shop to try it on. To his horror he discovered that one sleeve was significantly longer than the other sleeve and one pants leg was about 10cm shorter than it need be. The fellow complained to the tailor. The event was that evening and he needed the suit.

The tailor advised the desperate fellow that he should pull his arm up in such a fashion that the short- sleeved arm sits right at the hand. He contorted himself as recommended. Then he suggested that he shift his weight in such a way that the cuff of the all too short pant leg comes right to the shoe.

He paid for the ill-fitted suit and went off limping down the street. Two gentlemen were walking behind him and were observing how he was ambulating down the street. One man said to the other, "Look at that unfortunate fellow, how disfigured and misshapen he is!"

To which his colleague replied on a positive note, "At least he has a good tailor!"

There is a war going on between the British and the French and in the middle of the war two soldiers from opposite sides stop to talk and the Brit asks the French officer “why do you wear red uniforms. Don’t you realize that they stand out and can be seen a mile away?”

He responds  respond “when someone is shot the blood blends in and morale stays up. Why do you wear brown uniforms?”

**********************************

The answer to this week”s question is C– So another 50/50 this week; half right and half wrong. I got the first part wrong. But close not that it helps. The Meidba map found on the floor of a church in Jordan of the Byzantine empire and the cities in Israel from the 6th century I believe I thought was written in Latin. But the correct answer it seems is Greek. Not that I care… Part II though was easy. The Yoshka trail known as the Gospel Trail is through the entire lower Galil. Basically everywhere that Yoshka pished they made a stop. My good friend Chagi though as a result of this incredible desecration of our Holy Land memorializing this evil heretical Jew that founded a religion that killed millions of us throughout the generations- far more than the Muslims ever did, from the Crusaders and on, in response developed the Sanhedrin Trail. This trail also in that area follows the path of the Sanhedrin after our Exile through the cities and locations in the Galil. So I got that right and thus the latest score is Rabbi Schwartz at 20.5 point and the MOT having 6.5 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

Friday, February 16, 2024

An Eternal Memorial- Parshat Teruma 2024 5784

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 16th 2024 -Volume 13 Issue 18 7th of Adar 5784

 Parshat Teruma

 An Eternal Memorial

 

Eli wanted to buy a food truck, perhaps even a fleet of them. It wasn’t for him. It was for Elkana, his son. Elkana was learning to be a chef before October 7th. His dream was to have such a truck in order to drive around to soldiers and bring them quality good food. There’s nothing like food that brings Jews together and that was Elkana’s dream. That dream ended with Elkana’s death along with 20 of his brave soldier brothers, our martyrs when Hamas blew up the building they were inside of in Gaza.

Elkana did not merit to realize his dream, he was taken too young at age 21 defending his country, wiping out the evil, fighting for Am Yisrael. Yet Eliyahu, his father wants to see Elkana’s dream fulfilled. His brother told me that Elkana excelled at Kibud Av Va’Eim. This food truck that Eliyahu plans to go around with will bring all Elkana’s brothers together with their father as they help him with it. They will fill the void that Elkana left. They will restore the light that was vanquished.

For Linda it wasn’t a food truck. It was a small memorial corner in her backyard that she wanted to build for Yonatan’s memory. He had so many friends that still come over all the time. He was someone who loved life. Who fought hard in the army and brought a smile and joy to anyone that knew him. Despite the fact that its over 120 days since he was murdered at the festival on Simchat Torah-the festival where he saved lives evacuating people, his friends visit his grave and just sit there and mourn him

When his mother last talked to him he assured her that he would be alright. He would be home soon. That she needn’t worry. His father had passed when he was a child, he as well was a hero serving as Bibi Netanyahu’s driver. Yonatan Chai Azoulay, Linda’s son was even named after Yoni, Bibi’s brother who was killed saving Jews who were hijacked and kidnapped by the heroic Entebee rescue operation. It seems that Yonatan as well like his namesake was destined for that same fate.

Yet Linda wanted him to remain Chai. Her dream was that her backyard would have a place where his friends could come to remember him. Where she could have Shiurei Torah, nights of inspirational singing. Where Yonatan’s spirit would continue to give life and inspiration to the so many he touched in his short 23 year old lifetime. There he would live on and be remembered for ever and gather eternal zechusim- merits.

Elchanan Kalmanzohn’s father, Rav Benny had a bigger dream for his son Elchanan’s memory. As we sat with him in Otniel in the southern Hebron hills, he told us how Elchanan and his brother Menachem went down to Kibbutz Be’eri that Simchas Torah morning after finding someone to cover their responder unit in the Chevron area for them. There they spent 15 hours rescuing and evacuating door to door under fire over a hundred residents. In one home they rescued a mother who was in labor, in another Elchonon stopped to help an older woman find her hearing aide. There were some homes that were too terrified to even allow them in until they recited Shema for them.

Elchanan was killed by terrorists during that operation and his brother was wounded. His wife and the five orphans he left behind understood what a hero he always was, yet they didn’t even know that he was a member of the intelligence Mossad as well as being a decorated soldier at the young age of 42 when he was taken. His gravestone there in Otniel is the only one that bears both of those emblems.

While a Sefer Torah was dedicated in Be’eri for his neshoma, Rav Benny told us that the family wanted to do something special to memorialize him. When they were going over some of the options, they remembered Elchanan’s will and testimony that he wrote a few years back when his Uncle Rav Mickey Mark was murdered by terrorists on the way home, with his 15-year-old son Padidya and daughter Tehilla in the car 7 years ago. {Rav Mickey’s son Padidya, Elchanan’s cousin, was killed as well a few weeks ago in Gaza leading a unit. The pain doesn’t end….}

In Elchanan’s will that he wrote at that time to his family. He told them that if he should ever be killed he wanted to be buried in Otniel. This was his home. His life’s mission was settling Eretz Yisrael. Redeeming it from the Arabs and expanding Jewish life to all the borders of our land that Hashem had returned us to. He wanted to build and grow the village that they lived in. And his final words he wrote that even if god forbid the government ever saw fit to give the land to the Arabs in some type of two state “rip-us-to-piece”s agreement, then his body should remain there. It shouldn’t be exhumed and moved. Otniel is his home. And thus Rav Benny told us his legacy would be to start a new neighborhood in Otniel L’zichro. A caravan where would the first families could move in. It would be named after Elchanan and his legacy and response to his murder would be to increase our settlement of the land.

The stories and memorials continue and go on and on and on. There are the so many Torah scrolls that have been dedicated in memory of fallen soldiers. There haven’t been too many houses that I have paid a Shiva call to that haven’t handed me a Tehillim or Torah work that has been dedicated to their fallen son. There are close to 1500 kedoshim that have been murdered since October 7th. Five hundred and sixty-nine of them are soldiers. There are tens of thousands of orphans, widows, grieving parents and siblings. There is no one in this country that hasn’t lost someone that they were in some way connected to. We’re a country in mourning. One that has lost too many of its finest sons. Yet in that darkness there is a bright light that is shining stronger and stronger. The Bais Ha’Mikdash is being built on the light emanating from the sacrifices- the korbanos on the sacred ground of our holy land that is being redeemed. For our soldiers are not dead. Am Yisrael is Chai.

This week we begin the story of the building of the Mishkan, the temporary dwelling place for Hashem that is the prototype of what will ultimately be the Bait Ha’Mikdash in Jerusalem where the Shechina will ultimately reside. Our sages tell us that this is really what the purpose of the entire Creation of the World and mankind is all about.

Rotza Hashem Dira Ba’tachtonim- Hashem wanted a dwelling place down here.”

It’s our job to build Him one. Maybe that’s the reason Jews have always been drawn to Real Estate. We were Chosen as we learned in last week and the previous weeks parsha of Yisro and Mishpatim at Sinai to be His contractors on this world. To build Him His eternal Home. Fascinatingly enough as we mentioned last week the narrative of the Sinai revelation and the giving of the Torah was divided over two Torah portions, with a break in the middle that contained all of the laws of Mishpatim. Similarly, but taken to even the next level we have the portions that discuss the building of the Mishkan divided into four portions.

The first two this week’s Parshat Teruma and next week’s Tetzave, are about the commandments to raise the money for the various vessels and necessary components of the Mishkan; the Ark, the Menora, the Table and the Altars and beams. While next week will discuss the clothing of the Kohanim. The last two portions of the Book of Shemot Va’yakhel and Pikudey discuss the actual collection and construction. It’s a lot of words in a book that’s pretty thrifty on Divine ink. Sandwiched in the middle is the story of the sin of the Golden Calf. The obvious questions the reading of these parshiyot beg is why so many words, why so many times do we need to repeat this and why is this interrupted by the story of the Golden Calf? That last question, though leads to perhaps the biggest question which is when did this whole story really occur? Was it before the sin or afterwards? Why is it split up like this with no clarity as to when this occurred?

Fascinatingly enough the answer to this last question actually quite typically Jewishly is a dispute. We Jews never agree on anything. Yet, the Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches us that all three of the opinions about how this all occurred are in fact true and contain an eternal lesson for all of us that is even more powerful today.

The first opinion is that of the Zohar, that both the commandments to build the Mishkan and the actual collection of Parshat Va’Yakhel take place before the sin of the Golden Calf. In fact, it even notes that’s why for the sin of the Eigel they took the gold and jewelry from their wives because it was all used up for the Mishkan. Rashi on the other hand understands that this week’s parsha of the commandment as well as the following parshiyot take place after Moshe came down from the Mountain and we sinned. The Ramban finally takes the middle approach where the command was before the sin, but the collection wasn’t until afterwards. Three opinions that are all true in some metaphysical way and they contain a message for us.

The Rebbe understands that each of these three approaches, as well as the three basic materials of the Mishkan, gold, silver and copper, all correspond to a different type of Jew. There are the righteous ones, as we as a nation were after the Sinai revelation when we were cleansed of all our sins. The tzadikim might assume that they don’t need the Mishkan. They don’t want to be busy, building physical buildings. Shlepping wood, banging nails, sculpting gold and weaving curtains isn’t really their thing. Gold? Silver? Money? Phewww… that doesn’t interest them. They’re above that. They just want to sit and learn and daven. They want to rise above this world. Leave that for everyone else. They want a yeshiva exemption. The Torah thus tells them with Moshe’s commandment, that it’s time to roll up their sleeves and get to work. We were put on this world to raise it up. To connect Heaven and Earth to build a physical stone and mortar building for Hashem.

The second group are the Jews that Rashi describes who sinned by the Golden Calf, repented and were forgiven. The Baalei Teshuva. They are perhaps in some capacity greater than the righteous. The Rebbi sees them as being represented by the gold. It’s rare. It’s something that’s not easily acquired. It’s rising up to Hashem rather than bringing Hashem down to us that the Tzadik who is silver does. They as well might feel that the Mishkan is not for them. It’s for the righteous to uplift the world. The Baal Teshuva has been-there-done-that already. It might be dangerous for him to go back in. To get back to the places that he was, to the working world, to the physical existence and continue that past. To him as well Hashem commands, get back and finish the job. It’s not over until the Mishkan is built. Until I have a home. Don’t go all Israeli on me and stop in the middle of the project because “eets good enaf”. It’s not over until it’s over.

Finally, we have the last set of Jews. The ones that sinned and haven’t done teshuva yet. According the Ramban it is to these Jews in between the purity of Sinai and the aftermath of the Eigel timeframe that the mitzva was given to build the Mishkan. They are the copper. The simple ones. The word copper in Hebrew is nechoshes- which shares the root of the word nachash- snake as in original-sin-snake. The tainted venomous sin that we got rid of at Sinai but reinfected ourselves with the sin of the Eigel. They/we are as well essential. Perhaps even most essential, as the foundation of the Mishkan, the bolts that hold it all together are the simple Jews who haven’t done teshuva necessarily yet. They just have that holy untainted spark that is awaiting to be uplifted. They are the basic cogs of the Mishkan. They are what make up the foundation of where the Shechina will call its home.

Yet there is an even deeper connection behind the placement and interruption of this story of the building of Hashem’s home. It’s not just dispersed between the Sinai revelation and the sin of the golden calf. More specifically our Parsha begins after the conclusion last week of Moshe going up to heaven to receive the Torah after the revelation of the Ten Commandments. The Mishkan begins with a mortal flesh and blood man who leaves this world. He is taken up above. The nation down below feels they are lost without him. That they can’t go on. That life will not and can’t be the same without his light. It is into that void that the commandment to build the Mishkan is given. It is right then and there that Hashem tells Moshe to command the nation to take that energy and that emotion and channel it into building a Home for him.

Each Jew had a special connection to Moshe and each one felt that they had lost him in some way. Will he come back? Won’t he? Who ever heard of someone coming back down from heaven? Who ever heard of someone coming back from Gaza…? For many Jews the day after the euphoria and Simcha of the giving of the Torah on the 7th of Sivan (Sivan is gematria October… just joking…but c’mon the connection is really eerie… and you started to try to figure it out…) was a day of mourning. Their Moshe was gone. What do you do? Can you show faith? Can you keep that faith? Can you build a Home for Hashem with the knowledge that this is really for the good? That it’s the last piece before the Shechina will come down… That even if you’re the most righteous person there’s work down here to do; to connect with those that aren’t as observant as you. That even if you’ve sinned that you’ve worshipped idols and made festivals around golden calves. Can you believe, feel and understand that Hashem still wants you to get up and bring your gifts, your copper to His sanctuary? That you can be the holy korban He chose for His altar.That although you may have not yet done teshuva, that you may feel unworthy, but this has never been about you. It’s about all of us together.

The Mishkan is about creating a united nation made of gold, silver and copper Jews. It will contain an Aron that have the original holy tablets written by Hashem that are untainted, with its broken shattered pieces sitting side by side with the new Tablets written by Moshe. It will rest in the Holy of Holies at the heart of the Mishkan. It’s that Oneness that is the basis and only way that Hashem can have a home here. If even one child is not at that Shabbos table, is still in Gaza, hasn’t yet returned and brought their spark, their teruma, their gift, their uplifting of the world, then the table is not complete. The Oneness of Hashem is not at rest. It’s not really home.

This week, unlike most years the 7th of Adar the day that Moshe Rabbeinu died does not fall out on the week of Parshat Tetzave as it generally does but rather on Erev Shabbos of Teruma. Even this yartzeit like most things this year are different and therefore there must be a message in it for us. The answer perhaps is precisely in what we are seeing and undergoing right now. Our great Chasidic masters teach us from the Zohar that every Jew has a spark of Moshe within them. It’s that eternal spark that he implanted in our DNA that is the pure Torah he taught us. While Moshe was with us, we didn’t realize that it was within us to be able to activate that spark. That we had a Moshe inside of us that as his name translates can pull up the world. Batya, Pharaoh’s daughter named him that as he was pulled up himself from the water and he thus then had the power to bring everyone up with him. We have that power as well. That power first became recognized by us when he went up to heaven. When we felt he was no longer with us. When we felt lost.

It is then Hashem tells us in this week’s portion that we can build Hashem a house that will uplift the world to Him. That the Shechina resides in us. That Moshe is still alive. That we are eternal. That we can build an eternal home. That we can bridge that gap between heaven and earth, with our actions, with our mitzvos, with the things the Torah, Moshe taught us, the Torah’s we learn and teach, the achdus and unity we bring, the kindness that we do and the charity we give.

We read this portion this week right after the yartzeit of the 7th of Adar. We read this parsha at a time in our history where the building of that Bait Hamikdash is being paved on the foundations of the memorial acts that we are building for the so many martyrs that we know are really not gone. That they are up above with Moshe. They are looking down as the Shechina is coming closer and closer to its resting home. The eradication of Amalek that Moshe started in that first battle after we left Egypt is finally coming to its conclusion. It’s not only being won by the army that is no less heroic and holy than the one Yehoshua led at that time, but it is being won by soldiers who turn their eyes to the Mountain. To Moshe with his hands uplifted. To heaven asking Hashem for mercy and strength. May all of these merits, and the power of all of the sacrifices and kedoshim that Hashem took from us bring that Home down to us this month of Adar, with all the children and our Father home.  

Have a joyous Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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NEW COLUMN!!

CHIZUK/TZEDAKA OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK

Just when you thought this E-Mail couldn’t get any longer… well here it goes. Don’t worry it’s not like I have any extra time on my hands to write another column here. In fact I’ve been meaning to do this already for weeks and it’s only now after 125 days of War that I finally have a chance to add this essential column which is dedicated to giving you readers an opportunity to have a meaningful part of helping out our country and nation by donating to a weekly link of a different organization, a cause, soldiers, refugees, supplies, Hostage families, widows, farmers etc… There are so many needs and I know that you want to participate and help them not just read about them. So each week I will feature in our E-Mail in this column another cause and link that you can contribute and make a meaningful difference to. (this of course should not come at the expense of your sponsorship of my weekly E-Mail or our upcoming Purim appeal in another month 😊) But this is a way that you can bring light and money to the so many that need it. Give what you can. But give regularly and if you can I’d really appreciate if if you send me a screenshot or message of your donation as I can then forward it to whoever receives it so they know that it came from our helpful readers. So here we go…

 

A Chesed Food Truck of the family of fallen soldier Elkana Yehudah Sfez- Elkana was a hero and soldier that fell this past month along with 21 of his comrades fighting in Gaza. We miraculously visited his mourning family and they shared with us how special he was and how his unfulfilled dream and plan was to become a chef and bring good food to soldiers in a food truck uniting Jews and giving chizuk to our brave soldiers. His family has taken on this project to be his living legacy that Eliyahu, Elkana’s father and his brothers plan on driving around daily giving that gift to others. Please help the family raise the necessary funds by contributing to this campaign, bringing nechoma and consolation to the family, creating a zechus for Elkana and bringing chizuk and achdus to Klal Yisrael.

 

Here is a litte video link or two about Elkana

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAFxLnlvvSo

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIycfST56YU

 And here’s the link to donate

 https://my.israelgives.org/en/fundme/bringromhome

 

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Aider es kumt di nechomeh, ken oisgaien di neshomeh “- Until the consolation comes one can go out from their soul.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

27.The name of the line separating two drainage basins is ___________.

In which settlement in the Galilee lives a large Bedouin community?

A. Tiberias

B. Basmat Tab'un

C. Mi'ilya

D. Safsufa

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/vatem -  My latest release- an amazing gorgeous new song to be sung about our upcoming redemption… V’Atem- Wings of Eagles… thank you Dovid Lowy for arrangements and Vocals! Let me know what you think!!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XNucai5q3wSeems like wings of Eagles is on all good people’s minds… This Luzy Klatzkow and Rabbi K’s latest release as well “Wings”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZeiIjNGR4o  Eitan Katz new release of golden oldie Chamol with so much more meaning and heart in NY concert…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_9hnZFp_2w  Ari Goldwag and Dovid Lowy collab…on the nicest song on his new album release. Tomorrow is Now!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15HBrgWPGoY   Naftali Kempeh’s latest release Yeish Inyan

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S PARSHA PRAYER INSPIRATION OF THE WEEK

Before the ArkThis week we begin to read the narratives of the Torah that describe the construction of the Mishkan; what the Torah describes as the resting place of the Shechina. It’s a new revolutionary concept for our nation and perhaps even for the world. It seems that until that point there were temples for idolatry. As well we have sacrifices and prayers that were always present from the Creation of Man. We believe that Hashem is everywhere, and one can daven to Him and connect with him any place. Yet here we are introduced to a central gathering place of service to Hashem. To a large degree the Mishkan was meant to be a temporary building for the few weeks it took to get into Eretz Yisrael and build the ultimate house for Hashem. It’s a lot of Torah-Scroll word space for a temporary building. Yet, as we know The truth is for thousands of years we’ve been “davening” and servicing Hashem in temporary galus/exile buildings and shuls then in His one Home in Yerushalayim. And thus the messages of the Mishkan and the idea of coming together and gathering to reveal the shechina are derived from the Mishkan and its service.

 The different components of the Mishkan are all things that bring together and represent the different factions of Klal Yisrael. The external altar made of copper and wood is the simple Jew. Interestingly enough the Midrash tells us that the wood it is made out of represents the forefathers, they were planted by Yaakov, Avraham had the angels under the tree, Yitzchak as well carried wood to his binding on the altar which will become the place of the Mizbayach. The altar are the prayers of every Jew, our sacrifices and that we are all children of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. We start our Shemona Esrei with the connection to them mentioning the merit of our forefathers.

  Next we have the Menora and the Shulchan which represent both those individual Jews that represent the light and wisdom of the Torah and the ones that are the Gomley Chesed and supporters of Torah. Each Jew can find their place in one of these pillars. We have doctors, lawyers, accountants, Torah scholars and we have business men, philanthropists, Charity organizations that give and provide life. That is the second blessing of Shemona Esrei.

 Finally we approach the Holy of Holies. Within it is the Aron. It’s symbolic of the Har Sinai, where Hashem revealed Himself to us. When we became His holy nation. There we were united as one. There only one person, the Kohen Gadol can go in. We are all united with Him. He is like Moshe. He is our Shaliach Tzibur, our Chazan. He stands before our Aron today in our Shuls. That is the third blessing of the Holiness of Hashem that can then be revealed in all of us. Our shul has become the Mishkan. Our prayer has returned us to Sinai. It is then after we have done this service that we can continue with the rest of our requests. Because then our prayers are no longer for our personal needs. Rather they are for the world. They are for the Shechina. They are for the Bait Hamikdash and Hashem’s presence in Yerushalayim. May we finally have those prayers answered.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

740 BC-Achaz the Wicked King- You know the saying how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Well that’s not always true particularly when it comes to the Kings of Yehudah. Last week we discussed the righteous King Yotam, this week we learn about his successor and son a real rotten apple Achaz. Achaz was one of the most evil Kings of Yehuda, who until that point hadn’t too bad over the years. Achaz brought them though to their lowest point. He not only introduced idolatry to levels it had never been brought to before with the worship of the Baal but he brought in the worship of the Molech in the valley of Gei Hinom which included the sacrifice of children by passing them through fire. Sick, sick people…

 In fact today the valley of Gei Hinom by Mount of Olives and the boardwalk of Jerusalem outside of the old city still maintains its name because of that worship that took place there. Achaz sent his own sons through the fire, but the midrash tells us that Chizkiya his righteous son was miraculously saved because of the merit of his future descendants Chananya, Mishael and Azarya who generations willingly allowed themselves to be thrown into a firey furnace rather than worship idols. Their ancestor was saved in the merit of the children. There’s a message there for us today, when our young men are eradicating the evil and going through fire to avenge the blood of our children who were burnt and slaughtered. Yet Achaz’s cruelty and evil led to the wrath of Hashem against his kingdom in perhaps one of the most incomprehensible wars. Hashem brought the Aram from up in Syria to wage war against Achaz and to make matters worse the Book of Divrey Ha’Yamim tells us that the King of Israel, Pekachia as well took advantage of the situation and as well went to war against Achaz. Brother against brother facing off as enemy armies. The tragedy is uncompromisable.

 In that civil war Divrey Ha’yamim tells us Pekachia killed 120,000 men of Yehuda all in one day. The thought they were acting out in the name of Hashem because of the evil worship of Achaz but in truth it was a horrible war that led to even greater atrocities. They took captives and hostages from Yehuda 200,000 women, children, boys, Jews taking each other captives and hostages! They looted, the spoiled. We were Hamas- but were Jews doing this to our brothers… It’s incomprehensible that Sinat Chinam could reach such a level.

 Ultimately Hashem sent the prophet Oded to rebuke and warn the Kingdom of Israel about the evil of their ways. And thus the men of Ephraim heard this rebuke and feared the Divine repercussions and returned and clothed those hostages and returned them to the city of Yericho to Yehuda. One would hope this would bring an end to the war and to the evil of Achaz. Yet, it only emboldened him more. He saw this return of his hostages as a victory. A sign that he could do what he wants and continue in his evil path. The contzeptzia hadn’t been broken. And so he continued to sin. Next week we will talk about how much further and lower we can fall.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FUNNY GRAVESTONE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 “I saw a gravestone that said ‘Here lies a math teacher. He finally found peace in being a sum of all parts.'”

 “My friend’s gravestone says ‘Beloved coffee lover. He couldn’t espresso how much he meant to us.'”

 “On another gravestone, it reads ‘An avid baker. Life really kneaded him, but he always rose to the occasion.'”

“A musician’s gravestone reflects ‘He was always in treble, but found harmony in the end.'”

 “A chef’s gravestone bears the words ‘He spiced up our lives and left us with seasoned memories.'”

A skydiver’s gravestone bears the words ‘He soared through life and embraced the fall. In the end, he took a leap of faith.'”

 “On a magician’s gravestone, it says ‘He pulled off disappearing acts with such poise. Now he has vanished into eternity.'”

 “A carpenter’s gravestone reads ‘He crafted a life full of love and sawdust. Now he’s nailed the final masterpiece.'”

 “In memory of a librarian, the gravestone declares ‘She was always bound to books. Now she rests between the pages of history.'”

 “A comedian’s gravestone states ‘His jokes will forever echo in our hearts. Laughter was his final punchline.'”

 

A lawyer’s wife died. At her grave, everyone was appalled. The tombstone read, “HERE LIES PHYLLIS, WIFE OF ATTORNEY MURRAY WILLIAMS; SPECIALIZES IN DIVORCE AND MALPRACTICE”.

Murray burst into tears. His brother said, “You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap publicity stunt like this. Murray said, “You don’t understand. I gave them my business card”

His brother apologized.. But then he continued “…and they didn’t include the phone number!”

 Two men walking in a cemetery find a recent gravestone , so they read it:

"Here lies an honest man and a competent lawyer"

So one of the guys turn to the other:

"When did they start burying two people together?"

 

What is written on a very successful hacker’s tombstone? “R” His IP is well hidden.

Why would I want to buy a tombstone? It's the last thing I need.

 

Yankel was blessed with 12 children yet that was turning out to be a problem for him when he was trying to rent a house.  No landowner would allow him to rent their house due to the number of children he had. Frustrated, Yankel told his wife to visit her father's tombstone and bring all but their youngest child with her.

He then visited a property and told the landowner that he would like to rent the place.

"Is this your only child?" asked the landowner.

"No, I have 12 children" replied the man.

"Then where are the other 11 kids?"

"In the cemetery with my wife," he truthfully replied.

 

Late one night, Jack takes a shortcut through a cemetery. Hearing a tapping sound he becomes scared and quickens his pace. The tapping gets louder and Jack is now scared out of his wits. Then he notices a man chiseling a tombstone.

"Thank goodness!" Jack says to the man. "You gave me a fright of my life. Why are you working so

late?"

"They spelled my name wrong."

 

There was once a man named Odd. He was very embarrassed by his name and didn't want anyone to know about it. When he died he had no name written on his gravestone. One day a bunch of tourists came to his town and visited the graveyard where they came across a gravestone with no name on it.

"That's Odd!" He said.

 

This morning as I was walking through I saw someone crouching behind a gravestone. I said, 'Morning.

' He said, 'No I'm just lost my keys.'

 

After my friend died from an allergic reaction to peanuts, I went to his funeral. Everyone got upset when I put an Epipen on his tombstone.

So I explained: "It's what he would have wanted"

 

**********************************

 

The answer to this week”s question is C– Ah well… there goes my streak. I got the first part right. Well sort of… I knew the answer in Hebrew for the Water Drainage Basin line- I wasn’t sure of it in English. That’s what happens when you take the course in Hebrew. So I knew the answer was kav parshat ha’mayim. They talked a lot about the fact that there’s a mountain range through the middle of Israel and the water flows down on both sides of the country. Part of the whole Syrian African Rift thing. It’s also why the Avos and most civilization begins in the middle of the top mountain range so as to maximize the water flow on both sides and dig cisterns.

Part B though I got wrong. I had no clue and guessed. Mi’ilya. I knew it was either that or Bosmat Tivon. I was wrong bed coin flip. Mi’iliya not far from my house actually, near Maa’lot is actually a Catholic Arab village. Hmm.. never knew that, see learn something new every day… But lost my streak but still doing pretty good on this exam.   So the latest score is Rabbi Schwartz at 20 point and the MOT having 6 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.

 

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