Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, August 26, 2022

Pro-Choice- Parshat Re'eh 2022 5782

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 26th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 46 29th of Av 5782

 

Parshat Re’eh

Pro-Choice

 

It’s been a year. I’m almost half the man I used to be. But I feel like twice the man. Last year at this time I was pushing 275 pounds. Actually I wasn’t pushing anything I was pretty much relaxing on my couch and the gravity was pushing me down. Way down. Today a year later I’m about 150. My gastric bypass surgery worked. My clothing still don’t fit. But now rather than being too tight and needing a crowbar to get on my pants and warning people to avoid the buttons popping off my shirt when I sit down at the Shabbos table, I find myself perpetually walking around holding my pants up so that my tourists don’t get a view that they didn’t pay for.

 

People tell me I have to go shopping for clothing, but who has time? And anyways I’m still losing weight, remarkably enough. My wife and kids are scared I’m going to disappear. Funny, after a year and 10 months of being home all day I figured they’d be happy with that prospect. But I reassured them that they shouldn’t worry. Even if they can’t see me, my voice will be in their heads forever. No amount of therapy will ever get that out.

 

Now there are some out there that might say that doing the surgery is cheating. Why can’t you just go on a diet like a regular person? Why do you need to cut yourself open? Why can’t you just lose weight naturally? Well the answer is because diets don’t work. See, what happens on a diet is that you have to lose let’s say 80 or 100 pounds or so, or whatever. Well the first 40 or 50 come off no problem. In a few months of watching what you eat and exercising you’re excited to see the pounds drop and the scale becomes a happy place for you to go to… five times a day. Then what happens is that nothing comes off. Nothing. Nada. And you go on and on and still the scale stays at the same weight. You obviously think the scale is broken, so you buy a new one. And that doesn’t work either. And after a few months of nothing coming off and you’re still eating the farkakteh carrot and celery sticks, passing up on desert and eating bran muffins you finally say the heck with this. It’s stupid. And then you start eating again normally and everything comes back with ribbis- interest. That’s diets. They don’t work. Trust me I’ve done it millions of times.

 

But is it cheating? Is making my stomach the size of egg so I get full after two falafel balls or three bites of chicken, or a third of slice of pizza really a legitimate expression of me exercising my free will to lose weight? Does the fact that I can now eat really whatever I want without any guilt or care- albeit just a little bit- really diminish my manliness and ability to express self-control? Maybe. Or maybe not. Who cares. I’m skinny. I wear a size small. I always you to look at the letter S on shirts and pants and think it stood for Skinny. Not anymore. Now the “S” is for Schwartz. Skinny, small Schwartz.

 

But the question about free-will is still out there. It’s one of the most important questions and according to the Rambam it is the essence of what makes us human. And it has it’s start one would think in this week’s parsha- rather late in the Torah- if you ask me. But bizzarely enough it really doesn’t end until three parshas from now right before Rosh Hashana in parshat Nitzavim. Let me explain.

 

Our Parsha begins with the words

Re’eh- See I am giving before you today the blessing and the curse. The blessing which you will listen to the mitzvos of Hashem your God which I command you today. And the curse if you will not listen to the mitzvos of Hashem…

Hashem tells us that when we cross the Yarden we will go to Mt. Gerizim and Eival and we will hear them there and we should observe the mitzvos.

 

The problem with this text though is that it doesn’t tell us what will happen there. Who will stand where, what the ceremony will consist of and most importantly what we should do.

 

The Torah then interrupts this narrative-it’s almost like a promo with three and a half Torah portions and 185 mitzvos in parshat Shoftim, ki teitzei and ki tavo, the most jam packed with mitzvos in the Torah. We wait 16 ½ chapters till perek 27 when it picks up again with the same story and almost identical verse.

 

Devarim (39:15) Re’eh- see I have given to you life and blessing and death and curse. Ubacharta ba’chaim- and you should choose life.

 

There it continues and tell us about this whole ceremony. There it tells us about half the tribes on one mountain the others on the other one. The blessings the Kohein says, the curses the nation saying Amen. So what’s going on here? Why the introduction? Why the break with all of the mitzvos? There’s something here essential. In fact one of my great teachers, Reb Mordechai Alon suggests it’s the essence of all of Elul that begins this Shabbos and we read these parshiyos.

 

He notes that when the Rambam brings down this mitzva he brings both pesukim. Ours in Re’eh and the second one in Nitzavim.

 

Rambam Teshuva (5:3) And this is a great principle, the pillar of Torah and mitzvos as it says… (he then quotes both verses) as if to say the permission is in our hands to do whatever action that is in the hands of man to do-good or bad… Hashem does not force or decree on anyone to do anything good or bad. It’s all given to us.

 

He then says that we shouldn’t make the mistake of the nations of the world or the foolish golems make that everyone is predestined and determined to be good or bad. Rather anyone can be righteous like Moshe or evil like Yeravam, the can be kind or cruel, generous or stingy. And here’s the key. He says that no one can push or make you do anything or any time of person that you don’t want to be. It’s all up to us.

 

Now this is very non-conventional thought even today. When people think that they’re pre-programmed to be everything depressed, happy, outgoing, straight, crooked, smart and stupid, friendly or anti-social. The Rambam feels that’s heresy. There’s no such thing. We can do it all. We have the choice to be whatever we want to be.

 

I don’t think there’s anything more confusing in our world today than this concept. Today the world speaks about freedom of choice and being who you want to be. Even what gender and color as stupid as that is. But it’s all baloney. Because what the world is programming us to believe is that we should become who they want us to be. We need to be politically correct. We need to be accepting. We need to do whatever our heart desires. If we are restricted by something. If we can’t experience something. If we can’t choose what we want to do with our own bodies then we don’t really have freedom. That the Torah tells us is not freedom. Rather quite the opposite. It’s slavery. We are slaves to society. We are slaves to ourselves. Our worst selves.

 

Our parsha interestingly enough doesn’t tell us about choice. But that’s not really true. The word bechira and bachar appears 15 times in the parsha, yet it’s all about Hashem choosing. Eretz Yisrael is the land he chose. We are the nation He chose. We must go the chosen place. Choice, choice choice. In fact, choice- real true choice- is what makes us God like. It’s Hashem choosing and we have that power of choice when we connect to Him. Back in the Garden of Eden after we Adam sinned, the Rambam understands that Man becomes like God in that now we can be like Him and choose to do good or do evil. How do we choose? When we connect to Hashem. When we remove all of the other things detracting from that heavenly expression of choice. When we don’t listen to our body, to the media, to the advertisement campaign to what everything that’s not Hashem is telling and trying to get us to do.

 

The Parsha of Re’eh is where it all starts. Hashem tells us there are two choices. And then he tells us all about the mitzvos. All of them. If we do them, then we are connected to Him. We will find the godliness inside of ourselves. We will have the tools we need to express true free-choice. We will have removed the fat that is weighing us down and we can be the Godly people that will have life. That is the Torah reading of this month. That is essence of what we are put here to achieve. Removing impediments aren’t cutting off ones choice- just the opposite. It opens us up to becoming the people we always needed to become.

 

Most of you out there reading this don’t need surgery. Your clothes fit fine. But Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is coming around the corner with the shofar blasts that will start to waken and shake us up this Sunday morning. It’s the noise that reaches our soul and reminds us of how were long ago on Sinai. The dreams we had, the potential we could become the choices we could’ve made and that we could still make. May this month of Elul give all of us a clean slate. And may we not only choose life and blessing, but may we be blessed with them as well.

Have an choice Shabbos and a fantastic Rosh Chodesh Elul

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

  

************************

WE’RE BACK IN MISHPACHA!

After a few months of busy tour guiding hiatus was finally able to get out the long awaited

MISHPACHA MAGAZINE

Tour guiding column

Check out this week’s edition and column as I explore the Golan and Gilead region along Syrian borders of Israel. It’s this week’s parsha as well- how incredibly timely.

Click here to read article

https://mishpacha.com/lookout-for-peace/

share, comment, let me know what you think, tell them how much you missed me and enjoy a taste of Eretz Yisrael with your favorite weekly tour guide Rabbi

***********************

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Hob nit kain moirch ven du host nit kain ander braireh.” -Don’t be scared when you have no other choice.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey  -  In honor of Chodesh Elul please enjoy my Elul Song that we will be reciting and you can sing all month long lulay hemanti

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S6-7RxVw0Y – Eitan Katz Elul Niggun

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG0lbfGUpwU Yakov Shwekey’s two realeases two weeks in  a row. This one is Baruch Hashem it’s Shabbos

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfXfZND0myo Shuli Rands bein kodehs l’chol should get you in the mood with Elul..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHErQrvvftQ    And of course Ishai Ribo’s Elul brings it all together for you..

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

8)  Remains of a 2nd Temple Era Synagogue was found by the Kinneret at  _________

The purpose for the building of the synagogue was

A)  the difficulty to go to Jerusalem to the Temple

B)  An alternate place of worship on the pilgrimage holidays

C)  A place of gathering and for Torah and Tefilla

D)  For reading the Torah and the Mishna

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Tish and Nosh- Parshat Re’eh- For most chasidim the highlight of their Shabbos is the tish by the Rebbi. Taste a little shrayim of the Rebbi’s leftover kugel, fruits and what nots. For my kids and many kids it’s the Shabbos party or nosh we they get only on Shabbos. For guys it’s the hot kiddush in shul and herring. The common denominator? It’s all about the food. Shabbos is a day of feasting and in  our ma yedidus song we sing about the delicacies of Shabbos. Shabbos= food and that’s a good and holy thing.

 

This week the Torah tells us that there is a mitzva of Maaser Sheini where we bring our tithes to Jerusalem and we eat them there. The reason for this mitzva we are told is l’maan tilmod l’yirah osi kol ha’yamim so we should learn to fear Hashem all of our days. What does food have to do with the fear of God the commentaries all wonder. It’s not a Mussar book or even Torah study. How does eating something so physical like food make you holy? Even more interesting is that the Gemara in yevamos (93A) tells us that today this is the food of Shabbos and Yom Tov that has that same power.

 

The ARI”Zl reveals to us something incredible about food. He says that it is what produces the blood and life force of man. Thus if one eats food in a holy way then the blood that is produced is holy. It comes with the vitamin Y- for yirah- the fear and awe of Hashem in it. If on the other hand it is eaten with just physical desire then it’s like Splenda, it’s non-organic, white bread… all the good healthy stuff my wife likes in it are taken out of it. On Shabbos and Yom Tov everything we eat is a mitzva. It’s why the biggest mitzva day to eat is on Erev Yom Kippur the ARI says. Because it’s literally eating before Hashem. Before the day of Judgement. It’s like eating a sacrifice in the Holy of Holies. And every Shabbos we eat treats as well because every bite only has healthy spiritual goodness in it. There is nothing physical about Shabbos with anything bad in it. It’s like eating the Manna. So go out and treat yourself. Shabbos is here and have some holy food.  

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Ben Hadad the 2nd - 724 BC – Having set up Eliyahu and Elisha the Navi returns to the story of the Jewish people and King Achav. We are told about the Aramean king from Aram Dameshek which is pretty much Syria today that unites 32 kings together to wage war against Israel. They come to the city of Shomron which is where the palace of Achav is and they lay siege upon it. Shomron is the name giving to the whole region today of the West Bank, yet back then it was a city. The location according to most archaeologists is a place called Sebastia in the West Bank. It got that name from the city that Herod built there during the 2nd Temple period. There they uncovered the remains of the largest palace in the Middle East from this period of time. Don’t ask me to take you there though, because even though it is under Israeli control one can only visit with Military coordination in advance. And you know I don’t like to plan things in advance.

 

Well Ben Hadad, was a pretty arrogant guy and he sent the message to Achav that he was pretty much gonna wipe out the whole city unless he handed over everything that he had including women, children, gold and silver. Now Achav assumed this was all about money and paying taxes for their value and he agreed. What’s a few bucks more to the tax guy to avoid bloodshed, right? Yet Ben Hadad sent back that he wanted the people and everything themselves. Interestingly enough according to the Midrash what he really was demanding was the Torah to be handed over to him. That was too much for Achav, fascinatingly enough. He is a strange person this Achav. On the one hand he’s married to Jezebel and kills the prophets of Hashem. On the other hand, he keeps stepping up to the plate and making things good again. A very curious figure that Chazal tell us could’ve even been Mashiach ben Yosef.

 

So Achav tells Ben Hadad to come at him with all he’s got. Ben Hadad gets ready for war and then the Navi Micha steps into the story. Next week we find out what he said and what happened by this exciting battle.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE CHOICE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Berel enters his multiple choice (Mivchan Amerakai as they call it here) Bagrut (regent’s) Exam. .

While all of the other kids are furiously working on their papers Berel flips a coin for each question and picks the choices accordingly. An hour into the exam – when all the students have given in their papers and he’s the only one left in the room, the proctorsees that he’s still flipping coins; and tells him there isn’t much time left and asks him whether he is about to finish. Berel answers: “I’ve finished half an hour ago, just going through my answers!”

 

Yankel came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.

"Well, Totty," said the Yankel, "I challenged Moishie to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big brother!"

 

Waiter: How would you like your steak sir?

Me: like winning an argument with my wife

Waiter: good choice, rare it is.

 

An angel suddenly appears in the Beis Midrash offices  during the Rebbeim’s meeting and tells the Rosh Yeshiva that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the Rosh Yeshiva selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

 

Now, all heads turn toward the Rosh Yeshiva, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."

 

He looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money.

 

 

I’m saying good bye to my i-phone for a little while. My wife says I'm on my iphone every 20 seconds checking it and she can't stand it anymore! I had to make a choice. So I'm going to be offline for a couple of minutes while I pack her bags.

 

My doctor really likes my choice of sensible footwear...

I overheard him telling his colleague that I had "Serious healthy shoes".

 

Ever travel on El Al. I did last week. The stewardess came over very nicely and asked me

“Would you like dinner?”

“What are my choices?”

“Yes or no.”

 

When you want to change your hairstyle, there are two choices: 'Do or dye.

 

If you had the choice between World Peace or all of Bill Gates money.... .....what color Ferrari would you buy?

 

I can't believe my parents support my choice of profession! I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian. They laughed at me.

 

So David Ben Gurion dies and he comes up to heaven and they don’t know what to do with him. On the one hand he established the homeland for the Jews to return and brought thousands to the Holy Land. He gave grants and exemptions for Torah scholars and those that study in Kollel. At the same time he wasn’t observant and was even anti-religious, taking children away from their religious homes and trying to make them secular. So they gave him a choice. Do you want to go up or down? He asked to check out the choices and he gets in the heavenly elevator upstairs and the doors open and he sees a beautiful beach. There’s music, a free bar and everyone is lounging around the pool and taking it all in.

“Not bad” he says. “let’s see option B”.

He gets back in the elevator and it goes down and the gates open up and he sees surprisingly a similar scene. Beach, drinks, pool and he sees some of his friends playing backgammon that wave to him. So they bring him back upstairs and ask him where he’d like to go.

Well they both seem nice, “He says “but the chevra seems to be downstairs, so I think I’ll go there”. So they put him back in and he heads downstairs. However this time when the gates open up he sees angels of destruction with torches, people are burning screaming and look terrified.

Woahh, what’s this? This isn’t what you showed me before?!”

Ohhh.., that? That was your pilot trip. Welkam to Eezrael…”

 

So the American people's choices for the next President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Joe Biden. That is the joke. There's no punchline here.

 

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Answer is C -  This one was pretty easy as well, especially since the built a whole area around it. The answer is Migdal. And this was a city from the time of the second Beis Hamikdash. The made it into a big Christian site because its mentioned in the fake New Testament as a the place where Mary Magdalene one of yoshkas girlfiends are from. Not that you really care about this. I don’t either and it’s why I really never go there. The second part of the question as well should be easy for those that read my most recent Mishpacha article. Which of course means my family won’t know the answer… Ahem…. Shuls back then were not just places of prayer. The Bais Hamikdash was where they would daven and ask Hashem for everything- as it should be and will be soon IYH. Shuls were gathering places as they are aptly called Beit Knesset- houses of gathering and they would gather there for tefilla, davening, communal meetings, social functions. They were pretty much places of gatherin JCC’s if you will. Maybe that’s why we’re so comfortable schmoozing in them today. So another one right and the so the score now is Schwartz 7.5 and 1.5  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

Holiday Vacation- Parshat Eikev 2022 5782

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 26th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 46 29th of Av 5782

 

Parshat Eikev

Holiday Vacation

 

It’s been a long summer Baruch Hashem. The tourists are back in full force. It’s been non-stop. Day after day, week after week. It’s beautiful. It’s amazing. It’s like yetizas Mitzrayim. Everyone is coming. Those that didn’t make it are coming Sukkos. My phone hasn’t stopped ringing and my whatsapp hasn’t stopped dinging. Am I available? Can I help them find someone who is? Where should we go? Can you find someone that at least could help me plan itinerary? The answer to the last question by the way is- yes. My daughter Shani is amazing at doing itinerary and concierge planning for all your reservations and trip ideas. She worked for another company for years until Corona and now is in business for herself. She even hired my next daughter (the Kalla!) to work for her. My father’s dream of having a family business is finally happening. But instead of selling metal. We are selling the Eretz that our Parsha tells us is avaneha barzel- it’s rocks are like iron.

 

But I’m getting tired. In the beginning of the season I was all friendly and nice and patient with my tourists. I’m so excited to see you. Sure… take your time answering my questions. No problem come an hour and half late and change up my whole schedule that I planned for you. It’s alright if you want to daven for three hours by a kever. I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so happy I’m not on my couch anymore. Here I am Ephraim Schwartz at your service. Yeah… that was a few months ago. Now just get in the car and let’s move. Answer my questions quickly it’s hot outside. If you want to daven- that’s fine. But I have to get home before 3:00 AM after I drive you back to Jerusalem and then come back up North again- so why don’t you just daven that your tour guide doesn’t leave you here by the kever and pick you up tomorrow morning. You can have an all nighter. It’s a really bug segula. Trust me, I know. I’m a Rabbi. I would never make anything up.

 

But vacation is over the horizon. It’s a week and a half away. You all go back and I take out my tzimmer that I go to up in the western Galile and sit in Jacuzzi and overlook the magnificent mountains and the sunset over the Sea and I don’t even have to point it out to you or anyone. There’s nobody to talk to. I’m there by myself for a day or two until the family comes up for Shabbos. It’s just me, Hashem and His land that he gave me the privilege to live in, to guide in, to make my parnassa once again from. And I just want to be alone with that thougt. And not talk to anyone for three days. Then I’m good again. I’m recharged. I’m ready for the Sukkos mad rush. For my High Holiday season in my shul. I’m almost there. My vacation is around the corner. I need as the English say a “Holiday”. I’m all ready for it.

 

Which kind of brings me to this week’s Parsha. I say kind of because I really just had to put it out there as this is my weekly venting spot, and then I have to find a parsha connection to make it all work. The science of a Rabbi Schwartz E-Mail. Well this week’s Parsha is all about tour guiding, as I note every year. It’s all about Hashem selling Eretz Yisrael to the nation. He gives us a guided tour of a land of milk and honey, of streams coming out of the hills and valleys, of agriculture and of quarries and holy sites. He then tell us that he as well is looking forward to His holiday season that follows this. In fact this week we bless the upcoming month of Elul when we begin our preparations for the High Holidays and it is as well the only place in the entire Torah where Rosh Hashana is mentioned as the beginning or “Head” of the year. Before I tell you where this is let’s pause and see if you can figure out where?

 

Ok. Time’s up. I’m hungry and as I said I have no patience anymore. I have to take a nap after my tour today before Shabbos comes in and I have to daven for the tzibur (because everyone else is either too slow or too fast or they sing too much or not enough for me. It’s hard being the only one who knows how to do it right). So the answer is in quite a not obvious place. The parsha tells us.

 

Devarim (11:10) Because the land that we are coming to inherit is not like the land of Egypt from where we came… It is a land of hills and valleys that will drink rain water. It is a land that Hashem our God seeks after it tamid- always; mei’reishis ha’shana ad acharis shana- from the beginning of the year until the end of the year.  

 

Did you get that? From the beginning of the year. Rashi notes, that is a reference to Rosh Hashana. In fact it’s the only time where it is called the head of the year. The truth is it really doesn’t even make that much sense here in that context, as a second before it says Hashem seeks it out always. Constantly. Well, if it is constant, then what is the year-to-year thing? I thought it’s always. So Rashi explains that every year Hashem seeks out on Rosh Hashana what the land needs for good times and bad times. By the way this is the prelude to the 2nd paragraph of Shema that we recite twice daily. It’s all about Eretz Yisrael. That’s what Rosh Hashana is all about. That’s what everything really is about. The holiday season has begun.

 

There is a fantastic medrash yalkut that says that Hashem wanted to make a holiday every month of the summer. In Nissan we have Pesach, Iyar we have Pesach Sheini, Sivan we have Shavuos, Yet  in Tamuz we would’ve had Rosh Hashana and Av would be Yom Kippur. Yet because we sinned we lost the holidays of Tamuz and Av. When we did teshuva in Elul we got them back and Hashem packed them all into the month of Tishrei. Now you understand why we have so many holidays in one month. The Panim Yafos though makes a fascinating revelation based on this. He asks the question of how Rosh Hashana could be in Tamuz. Isn’t it supposed to be the anniversary of when the world was created? Where does Tamuz fit in? And what is Yom Kippur doing in the month of Av for that matter as well?

 

He answers that Rosh Hashana isn’t the anniversary of the creation of the world. That took place on the 25th of Elul. Rosh Hashana is the anniversary of the birth of Man. It’s the 6th day of Creation when Adam was created. That being the case, he says, it makes sense that it would therefore be in Tamuz. For on the 17th day of Tamuz when Moshe came down with the tablets we would’ve then had the Torah. We would’ve been born anew. We would’ve rectified the sin of Adam. We could’ve rebuilt and once again shined the light of Hashem back in the world. We would’ve restored the world to paradise; to Gan Eden.

 

11 days after that 17th of Tamuz we would’ve then entered Eretz Yisrael. It would’ve been Rosh Chodesh Av. When we enter the land we are told V’Chipeir admoso amo- the Jewish nation achieves atonement by being in the land of Israel. All our sins would’ve been forgiven. We were almost there but then we sinned. The 17th of Tamuz became a fast day and Tisha B’Av is a day of eternal mourning. We lost it. We have a packed month of Tishrei instead. And our summer…. It’s a time to recapture and get into the mode of appreciating the beauty and love for Eretz Yisrael. It’s a land that Hashem is always looking at from Rosh Hashana. It’s the months when we can once again get back to paradise if we understand two things.

 

The first thing is that this is the place that we need to be. Not Egypt. Not Boro Park. Not Lakewood. Not Detroit or what my father calls the other Jerusalem Boca and Century Village. It’s here. That’s the destination.

 

The second thing and perhaps even more important than the first is why we’re here. It’s all about fulfilling the mitzvos here. It’s here and only here where those mitzvos have meaning and connect to the source. Rashi tells us Hashem looks at Eretz Yisrael and it’s here where he shines out the light and passes His decrees out to the rest of the world from. It’s based on our connection here. It’s based on how much light we shine out from here. It’s the mitzvos we do here, the Torah we learn here, the shemitta we keep here, the Shabbos and holidays we celebrate here. The summertime, these months are the holiday months to learn those lessons and to internalize them. And klal Yisrael is getting it finally more and more and more Baruch Hashem.

 

So yes, Rabbi Schwartz needs a holiday. But the truth is do you know who else does? Our Father in heaven. Every year parshas Eikev the week when we bless the upcoming month of Elul this week He reminds us of that Rosh Hashana the way it was meant to be. The time it’s supposed to be. He’s waiting for that Shofar blast that we will start after next Shabbos to be the one that not only wakens up but rather that heralds in our redemption. I’ll be sitting in my Jacuzzi overlooking the mountains of the Galil and the sunset over the Mediterranean as well waiting for that blast. Hashem will be hanging with me as well. Our vacation is almost over. It’s time for the real holidays to begin.

Have an uplifting and invigorating Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

************************

WE’RE BACK IN MISHPACHA!

After a few months of busy tour guiding hiatus was finally able to get out the long awaited

MISHPACHA MAGAZINE

Tour guiding column

Check out this week’s edition and column as I explore the Golan and Gilead region along Syrian borders of Israel. It’s this week’s parsha as well- how incredibly timely.

Click here to read article

https://mishpacha.com/lookout-for-peace/

share, comment, let me know what you think, tell them how much you missed me and enjoy a taste of Eretz Yisrael with your favorite weekly tour guide Rabbi

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Kirtser geshlofen, lenger gelebt..”- The less you sleep, the more you get out of life.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum -  It’s Bein Hazmanim! Vacation time!  Atime for hikes and to explore Hashem’s country he gave us.  In honor of that I give you my latest and perhaps even most geshmak composition yet! Kum! Sung and arranged by the amazing Dovid Lowy!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itz81F8Ug5A – Beri Weber’s latest video release Chag Samayach

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YG0lbfGUpwU Yakov Shwekey’s two realeases two weeks in  a row. This one is Baruch Hashem it’s Shabbos

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NZRLrarukQ Very excited by this sampler of Naftali Kempeh’s upcoming Elul Zman release

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9Y4GtbAKmw   and getting into the Elul Mode Wake Up yidden from 8th Day and the Thank You Hashem Crew!

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

7)  The majority of the water supply at Masada was stored in  _________

Their source was from  

A)  the rainwater that fell on the mountain

B)  From the springs of Ein Gedi that were transported through aqueducts

C)  From underground fresh water springs by the Dead Sea

D)  Flood waters that were directed and brought via aqueducts to the mountain

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Awesome Shabbos- Parshat Eikev- The parsha this week tells us about the mitzva to have fear or awe of God. Moshe describes this central mitzva in seemingly a very easy way.

Mah Hashem elokecha sho’el mei’imcha ki im l’yirah as Hashem- What does Hashem ask of you only to fear Him and to follow in his ways.

 

This doesn’t seem like such an easy mitzva. Our sages even note that maybe for Moshe it’s an easy thing but for us mere flesh and blood mortals that never spoke to Hashem and went up to heaven as he did this does not seem like such a small task?

The Chasidic commentaries note from the Baal Shem Tov that the Torah is referring to a specific time of year when this easy. Do you know when it is? It’s in the mah days- the 45 days (the gematria of the word “What” does Hashem ask of you). Those 45 days are from the 15th of Av until Rosh Hashana. The days of awe. The days when the King is out in the field. The day when we can experience Hashem like no other. During this time of year it is the easiest to be in awe of the greatness of Hashem.

 

Similarly our sages tell us that the word Bereishis- the first word of the Torah and creation is the same letters as the words Yarei Shabbos- the awe of Shabbos. Shabbos is that day when as well we stand in awe of our Creator. We recall how He created the world each week. How He took us out of Egypt. How he gives us this weekly reminder that He is in control of everything and we are here to fulfill His will. Particularly these Shabbasos when we are within this 45 days of Awe we need to tap into that feeling. We need to internalize the awesomeness of the day and His love for us. If we do than we will finally see the day which is Kulo Shabbos.

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Elisha- 724 BC – After the rebuke of Hashem to Eliyahu, Hashem pretty much relieves him of his duty. He gives Eliyahu some jobs to anoint those that would restore and avenge the deaths of the prophets of Hashem and try to get us back into shape. But in the end he will not fulfil those roles. It will be his successor and primary student. Elisha Ben Shafat.

 

Who was this Elisha? It’s not clear from the text exactly what tribe he was from. Rashi suggests he was from tribe of Gad, Tosafos suggests that perhaps he was a Kohen. Eliyahu meets him on his way to Damascus which quite a distance from Sinai where he was at. If he was from the tribe of Gad which is located in Jordan today, if that was the case it would be on the way.

 

Our introduction to Elisha is that he is plowing with 12 oxen. Our sages see much symbolism in that as is quite obvious. The number 12 is an easy give away. Elisha is meant to bring the people under the yoke of Hashem. As well they point out that Elisha comes from a wealthy family. 12 oxen aren’t cheap. When Eliyahu passes by him he throws his cloak upon him. Elisha realizing this is a n opportunity of a lifetime begs Eliyahu to allow him to say good-bye to his family. He’s ready to go. But Eliyahu tells him that if he really wants the job then he has to leave everything behind. Without even blinking an eye. Elisha slaughters the 12 oxen and makes a feast for all the poor. He’s ready to go. And it was a good move. For as we will see in many ways Elisha even exceeded Eliyahu in the miracles and acts that he performed.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE VACATION JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

It would be great if I could take a 6-month vacation. Twice a year!

When you start looking like the person in your driving license, you know it’s time for a vacation.

 

A New York Yid left the snowy city for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip in Atlanta and was planning to join him in Florida the next day. When Yaakov reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

 

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly Rebbitzin whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving Rebbitzin checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

 

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband

 

P.S.: Sure is hot down here.

 

As soon as Izzy got home from work one evening, his wife Becky came up to him and said, "Izzy, our au pair has stolen two of our towels."

"Oh, really," said Izzy, not looking very interested, "that wasn't a nice thing to do."

"You're right it wasn't," said Becky, "they were the best towels we had, the two we got from the Hilton Eilat while we were on vacation last year."

 

A travel agent in Boca Raton Florida looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. Business had been great for the agent that week and the dejected couple looking into the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."

He took them inside and asked his secretary to book two flight tickets and a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.

About a month later the little lady, Adela Diamond came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.

"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"

 

Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!

Why can’t basketball players go on summer vacation? They’d get called for traveling!

Where do eggs go on summer vacation? New Yolk City!

Where did the sheep go on vacation? The Baa-hamas!

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his miserable summer.

Where do ants go for vacation?  Frants

When math teachers go on vacation, where do they go? To Times Square.

When crayons go on vacation, where do they go? Color-ado!

Where do bees go on vacation? Stingapore!

 

Teacher: Berel please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence.

Berel: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”

 

The man behind the counter in El Al was arguing with Yankel: “But sir, your ticket is a child’s ticket! You must be at least 19 years of age to travel with it!”

Yankel said “You see how horribly long your delays are? You should be ashamed!”

 

Little Chaim’l returned to school after the summer break. He only had two days before his teacher called his mother to inform her of his misbehavior.

“Wait just a minute,” she said. “I had Chaim’l with me for three months and didn’t call you once when he misbehaved, why won’t you do the same for me?”

 

********************************

Answer is D -  So this one was a tricky one. I really went back and forth on it a bit and ended up putting down the wrong answer. This is despite the fact that I was at Masada this past week (for the first time in a while and guided there!). Part A of the question was easy. The water was stored in water cisterns that were carved into the mountain and then brought up through the water gate. Part 2 was tricky though. Because there really is two answers. On the one hand the answer that I gave which was A is that the water that landed on the mountain did go down into cisterns and they even carved gutters into the mountain to gather it all, so that not a drop was wasted. As well however there was water that was diverted from the flood waters of the Nachal Ben Yair and Masada down below that was directed by aqueducts into the mountain itself and were brought up to the mountain from the cisterns in the mountain. That was the correct answer I believe. Perhaps since that answer also includes the mountain water that flowed down into those aqueducts into the mountain they like that answer better. I don’t know. I think its arguable. Especially since the model on Masada shows the water from the top of the mountain being more so than the ones brought frm the Nachal. Anyway, regardless it’s a huge engineering feat. Over 10 million gallons of water filled those cisterns annually. That’s huge and it filled all Herods Swimming pools, bathhouses and fountains.  So I got half on this one and the so the score now is Schwartz 6.5 and 1.5  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

 

Double Comfort- Va'eschanan Nachamu- 2022 5782

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

August 12th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 44 15th of Av 5782

 

Parshat Va’Eschnanan Nachamu

Double Comfort

 

Was it only just a week ago that we were sitting on the floor and crying over the destruction of our heart and soul, the Bais hamikdash-our temple, not yet rebuilt? After a full week of summer vacation- touring, kayaking, hiking throughout our beautiful country, it seems like moons ago. Have we moved on already? Have we forgotten about the reality that we were hoping for that still hasn't come?

 

This Shabbos is known as Shabbat Nachamu, the first of the 7 weeks of comfort in which we read a selection of the prophets each Shabbos for the Haftorah that offer words of consolation to the Jewish people over our loss. It's our Shiva- so to speak; the time when Hashem, who understands our souls and the tragedy we endured on Tisha B'Av much deeper than we do, tells us that we need to be comforted. How sad is it when someone comes to pay a grieving mourner a Shiva call and he finds out that the mourner is out on the beach? Yet, to be fair to us summer vacation frolickers and for those of you that might be feeling guilty, we are not meant to be mourning now either. The mourning is over. It ended the day after the fast. So on one hand there is Shiva on the other hand we are not mourning. What is the season all about? Are we meant to move on, or are we meant to still be reflecting and receiving consolation?

 

The answer I believe can be found in the strange repetition of the opening words of this week's Haftora- Nachamu Nachamu Ami- Console, console my people- Says Hashem. The Maharsha, the classic 17th century Talmudic commentary, notes that in many places when our sages comfort they repeat the phrase twice-"Kol Hanechamot B'Lashon Kaful-all consolations are expressed in a language repetitively" The classic case he refers to is the famous story of Rabbi Akiva and the sages who when upon seeing foxes run through the temple ruins had different reactions. The sages burst out wailing and Rabbi Akiva began to laugh. Perplexed they turned to him, and he explained that just as they were mourning as they see the fulfillment of the prophecy of Jeremiah "foxes in the ruins” in that destruction, he sees in that a sign that the prophecy of its eventual rebuilding and the return to the temple will be assured as well. The rabbis then respond, "You have comforted us Akiva, You have comforted us, Akiva".

 

Rabbi Akiva laughed. He saw the ruins, the burnt remains of the Temple that he used to pray at and where the offerings and the Divine presence were centered around for so long. He saw the destruction and the later failed return of Bar Kochva, and he laughed. For Rabbi Akiva understood what consolation and mourning all were about. Rabbi Akiva understood that in the ruins of the temple lie the beginning of the rebuilding. Our mourning is our consolation. Our connection of Tish'a B'Av gives us the strength and direction to move forward.

 

When one sits Shiva, it because he is beset with a sudden tragedy, the loss of a close relative. The process of shiva and the mourning for thirty days and the whole year that follows is one that helps a person adjust to the new reality of life without that individual. He needs time to absorb the loss and heal. When it comes to the Temple, the opposite takes place. We build up our mourning from the three weeks before. We work towards that day when we fully appreciate the gravity of our lives without the Temple...without the nearness of Hashem. Once that is over though, like Rabbi Akiva we can be doubly consoled. We must focus on the laugh, on the knowledge of redemption still to come. We are consoled doubly. Once by the fact that we know that our souls were still alive enough to feel that pain-our mourning was successful, and secondly that we know that if we were capable of still crying...still feeling that pain...still experiencing the longing to come home...than Hashem must feel that too. And He will come back and we will be united once again.

 

The consolation Isaiah tells us is Nachamu Nachamu Ami- Be comforted be comforted- my nation. You are still my nation. I haven't left you. Be comforted for our loss. Be consoled in the knowledge that I have never left you. There maybe foxes jumping and dancing and building foreign places of worship on our once Holy Home that we shared together. But know that we will be together once again.

 

The next seven weeks until Rosh Hashana when we start fresh again are that time of comfort... When we appreciate and are strengthened and fortified by our shared destiny together that we know is soon on its way. The tours we take together as a family and as a people, the serenity we try to achieve in the seven weeks before the High Holidays are part of the holiest work a Jew can do. We don't move on and forget the past. Rather we take our work and our struggles and our pain and recognize that they themselves are the secret of our endurance. The key to our redemption.... So if you're looking for a good tour guide this summer ....

Have a doubly incredibly consoling Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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WE’RE BACK IN MISHPACHA!

After a few months of busy tour guiding hiatus was finally able to get out the long awaited

MISHPACHA MAGAZINE

Tour guiding column

Check out this week’s edition and column as I explore the Golan and Gilead region along Syrian borders of Israel. It’s this week’s parsha as well- how incredibly timely.

Click here to read article

https://mishpacha.com/lookout-for-peace/

share, comment, let me know what you think, tell them how much you missed me and enjoy a taste of Eretz Yisrael with your favorite weekly tour guide Rabbi

YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“A kluger farshtait fun ain vort tsvai.”- A wise man hears one word and understands two.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum -  It’s Bein Hazmanim! Vacation time!  Atime for hikes and to explore Hashem’s country he gave us.  In honor of that I give you my latest and perhaps even most geshmak composition yet! Kum! Sung and arranged by the amazing Dovid Lowy!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP_rB2dUTME  – Benny Friedmans latest Yama Yama Yama who had the same idea for words as I did… mine is much better though won’t you agree…?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q44p4dbG2GI  Yakov Shwekey’s latest release song “It could be you

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q44p4dbG2GI   I definitely can relate to this speeding ticket one from Bardak LOL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzL-mnMK3y0 And of course Shabbos Nachamu is never complete without the ultimate classic of the Rebbi Shlomo Carlebach’s Nachamu… You really need to learn every word of this song and his Isaiah the holy prophet speech like I did…😊

 

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

 

6)  The Chaifa port was built  in the era of the  _________ rule

The economic significance of the port was among other things

A)  to replace the Jaffa Port that had been shut down

B)  And exporting point to ship out oil and its refinery to Europe

C)  As a connecting point between the ports of Beirut and Alexandria

D)  the actualization of the vision to build a train between Beirut and Chaifa

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Good Mourning- Parshat Va’eschanan- Whenever you see the number 7 you should know by now that there will be a Shabbos connection. This week begins the  period of time known as the Shiva D’nechemta- the 7 weeks following Tisha B’Av up until Rosh Hashana when we read the 7 haftoras of consolation. It is really amazing when you think about it. Just a week ago we were sitting on the floor mourning the destruction of our Temple and now we are enjoying our vacation and feeling uplifted and consoled. These 7 weeks the Magid of Kobrin says correspond to the 7 weeks between when we left Egypt to the receiving of the Torah and Shavuos. Yet it’s the next stage. It takes it back to where we should’ve moved from there.

 

See from the giving of the Torah we were a mere few days journey from Eretz Yisrael. There we were meant to fulfill our mandate of creation. Then and there we were meant to build the Bais Hamikdash and bring Hashem’s presence down to the world. That first Rosh Hashana after we left Egypt would’ve been the day when Creation finally achieved it’s pinnacle once again revealing Hashem’s malchus-kingship to the world and restoring the Shechina to its home down here. But we sinned and we lost it. We missed the opportunity. But now with the mourning of the Temple we start that process again.

 

Shabbos Nachamu is always the portion of Va’eschnanan which once again reads the story of Sinai and ten commandments. This time though it is complete with the mitzva repeatedly of the mitzva to love Hashem and His love for us. That is the consolation. We are finally moving forward. Each one of these Shabbosos we get closer and closer to the Bais Hamikdash. Shabbos is that day of love and the holiday today of the 15th of Av recalls the return of that love to our nation that in truth we never really lost. It was just hidden. We weren’t aware of it. We thought we had been abandoned when really we were just being reminded how important it is. How much power and potential we have. How much Hashem believes and cares about us.

 

7 Shabbosos until we reach Shabbos Shuva. The Shabbos of return. The haftoras that we read are not merely consolatory. They are connected to the parshas that we read as well. They reveal the power and light in each Shabbos that we can take and bring out to the world. Every Shabbos has that light. But these Shabbosos are especially close. These Shabbasos we are on the way to finally being redeemed.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Eliyahu’s cave- 724 BC – I’ve told you in the past that this column has a spiritual energy much like the Torah reading that connects often to current events. Well this week I got a surprise when I found something fascinating. It seems to be brought down by historians and even Rebbi Nachman of Breslav that there was a custom to go and pray by the cave of Eliyahu Ha’Navi in Chaifa on the Sunday after Shabbso Nachamu. How cool is that? It’s the week we are up to and right where we are in our study!

 

The only problem is that seemingly there really doesn’t seem to be any really reason to believe that it is in this cave where Hashem revealed Himself to Eliyahu and charged him with his next mission. In fact, as we discussed last week the Navi seems quite clear that the story took place by Mt. Sinai. Now there is a kabbalistic tradition that Eliyahu spoke to Hashem from a grotto and the cave in Chaifa is a grotto and there certainly aren’t too many grottos in the Sinai desert. (Which of course begs the question as to how Moshe went into a grotto there). But those same kabbalistic sources say that the cave was eventually moved mystically to Pek’in which also isn’t near Chaifa. It was there in Peki’in that Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai hid in the same cave from the Romans. So perhaps maybe once Hashem was moving the cave and grotto around from Sinai it made a pit stop in Chaifa?  Who knows?

 

What happened in that cave? There Eliyahu complains to Hashem about how irresponsible the Jewish people are. He condemns us before Hashem. He’s upset that he preformed all of the miracles of Mt. Carmel and gave us back rain and we still continued in our evil idolatrous and even murderous ways. We don’t keep the Bris. We don’t keep the covenant. We have abandoned the Torah and Mitzvos. Hashem though takes the opposite approach and stands up for us incredibly. He comes to Eliyahu with huge windstorm, with an earthquake and with fire. He then brings a soft quiet voice and tells Eliyahu that he really doesn’t get it. The Jewish people are always connected. We will never lose our spark. Sure, we may be distant here and there. We may lose sight of our greatness and what we are meant to be doing. But ultimately, we will always return. And Eliyahu will be the one who’s fate will be to see that. To herald in the heavenly era of return.

 

It's fascinating I point out to my tourists that the two rituals where we have a tradition to see Eliyahu is at a circumcision and by the Pesach Seder. It is those two rituals that it seems that Jews no matter how distant they are always are connected to. That we have never abandoned. Perosnally those would not have been the two that I would’ve chosen. But our holy nation is always attached. And Eliyahu will always be the one to witness that. And thus he will be the one to testify to the redemption as well and herald in Mashiach.

 

Shabbos Nachamu, the week after our mourning for the Temple, Jews would go to the cave of Eliyahu to connect to that power. To ask and daven that Eliyahu’s mission that he received that day in the cave will finally come true. That Mashiach will be here riding up on that white donkey of his blowing the Shofar. May this be the year that happens.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S DOUBLES JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

A man walks in a bar and says: 'I'd like 7 double whiskeys, please.'

The bartender nods and starts pouring 7 glasses of whisky.

As soon as the first glass is ready the man starts chugging, one glass after another.

The bartender, dumbfounded, asks the man: 'Why are you drinking so fast?'

The man answers: 'well, you would do the same as me, if you had what I have,' while chugging the last glass of whisky.

'So, what is it that you have?' asks the bartender.

not a single penny!”

 

A man walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So the bartender gave it to her.

 

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?"

The guy answers, "A scotch, please."

The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again."

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"

The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."

To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."

 

At the job interview, I asked what is the salary like. They said I'll start at minimum wage and make double of that in two years. Ok, I'll be back in two years.

 

Rivkah, a young mother, was teaching her 6-year-old daughter Sarah how to unbuckle her seat belt. 

Sarah asked, "Do I click the red square, mummy?"

Rivkah said, "Yes, darling."

Sarah then asked, "Single click or double click?"

 

A university English professor tells his students

In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language can a double positive form a negative.”

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up,

“Yeah, right.”

 

I served a pot of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.

They thought it was a bit tasteless.

 

Berel was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.

The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double."

The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion."

The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions.

The man said "I would like a million dollars."

The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars.

Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."

 

 

********************************

Answer is B-  I got another half wrong on this one. I obviously knew that the Chaifa port was established under the British. I also knew that under the Turks Yaffo port was still in use and it really continued until it was replaced by the port of Chaifa. It just was used more as the Ellis Island of Israel rather than for shipping and exporting. I though though the reason was because of the train to Beirut, but in fact the correct answer was the primary reason was for exporting oil from Iraq through the British mandatory Palestine to Europe. It didn’t really happen that much though. As the War of independence and the establishment of the State through a wrench into the whole thing. So I got half on this one and the so the score now is Schwartz 6 and 1  for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.