A colorful Argument- Parshat Teruma 5780 / 2020

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 28^th  2020 -Volume 10 Issue 19 3^rd Adar 5780

Parshat Teruma

A Colorful Argument

So I had an argument with my yeshiva bachur son, Yonah, last Shabbos. To be fair I kind of picked the fight. Hey, he's never home as he dorms in Jerusalem and I have to enjoy those interactions when I get them. Besides he's been getting kind of yeshivish lately and I always like to start up with yehsivhishe guys, the fact that he's my son just makes it like kishka in chulent. So I threw at him a question. Who has more reward in the World to Come. Is it the yeshiva guy or Kollel Rabbi that studies all day long and evenings and night too, or is it the simple working guy, perhaps even the tour guide, or anyone for that matter, doctor, lawyer, hi tech, taxi driver or falafel maker that works all day, keeps the mitzvos and maybe with his eyes half closed cracks a sefer or grabs a Torah class here and there if he could even learn anything? Which one is greater, who has more reward at the end of the day.'

Now he's my son so he knows I'm setting him up. He assumed of course that I was going to bring some Rabbi or saying in the Talmud from our sages that says working is better. So he already began his answer with the disclaimer that whatever Rabbi or Talmud I would show him that said anything he can show me that Torah study is more important and of even greater value. Sure you can always find a Rabbi here or there that says something but the overwhelming body of Jewish works and tradition certainly seem to say that Torah-study is of paramount value and the only real legitimate occupation that one should be busy with.

Now I'm his father and I'm still smarter than him. I knew that was where he was going to go. So I cracked out a Talmud that doesn't just quote one or two Rabbis and it's not just something that was said just here and there. It's something they said all they time.

Brachos (17A) The Sages in Yavne would regularly say (literally a gem in the mouths of the Rabbis) :

So this is the sages of Yavneh the Rabbis after the destruction of the Temple were sent to Yavneh to rebuild. They were led by Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai. These were the greatest and pretty much all of the leaders of our people. As well this is something they always said. You bump into a Rabbi from Yavneh this is what he told you. All the time. It's like Reb Chaim Kanievsky's Boo-Haa (that's the acronym for Bracha and Hatzlacha that he says to everyone who visits in him. It's pretty much all he says. Well this is what they always said.

"I who learn Torah am God’s creature and my counterpart who engages in other labor is God’s creature.
My work is in the city and his work is in the field.
I rise early for my work and he rises early for his work.
And just as he does not presume to perform my work, so I do not presume to perform his work.
Lest you say: I engage in Torah study a lot, while he only engages in Torah study a little, so I am better than he, it has already been taught:
One who brings a substantial sacrifice and one who brings a meager sacrifice have equal merit,
as long as he directs his heart towards Heaven. (with Reb Hai Gaon's elaboration)

Rashi on the Talmud notes equal reward means that the worker, layman or Am Ha'Aretz who can't even learn will get the same reward as the greatest scholars of Yavneh. That's pretty impressive. And seemingly incontrovertible.

Yonah wasn't going down without a fight though. He suggested that perhaps that was back then one needed to work to provide for himself and family. It was essential. But today the only reason to really work hard was because we are not satisfied with living frugally. Like the great Rabbis that we read books about who live in one bedroom apartments and have meager meals if anything. We want nice cars, big houses, camps, and all types of extravagances and thus we leave the beit Midrash and head out to the workforce. But if a person and his wife agree to live simply, perhaps even very, very simply and they share this ideal of a life dedicated to Torah study then they could probably get by on a Kollel check and her supplementary work. Oy… my father's blessing/curse of having a child just like me has been fulfilled.

But I don't give up. I told him that to me it is just as offensive to say that everyone who works today is only doing it for extravagances as saying that anyone that sits in Kollel is just doing it because they are too lazy to get what my mother would say is a "real" job. I'm not denying that there are people like that, but at the same time there are people in Kollel like that as well. But I believe that the majority in both camps are dedicating themselves to achieving the service of Hashem that they feel they were put on this world to accomplish. I really do believe that by the way… Although I don't believe that either camp thinks about it in those terms often enough. And that is the message of the great sages of Yavneh. That the primary role of the Jewish is to focus more on their chosen life roles and appreciate how that is the service of Hashem. If that is the case, then we will all get equal reward.

This week's Torah portion and the one that leads up to the holiday of Purim is about the building of the Mishkan/ the tabernacle for Hashem's dwelling amongst us. Last week we read the portion of Shekalim, Next week is the Shabbos before Purim when we will be inundated with all our charity appeals we then read about the shekalim half Shekels each Jews gave to count them and for the communal sacrifices that would be brought. There's a lot of money and charity talk around this year.

There is a fascinating difference though. The money for the sacrifices were an equal amount. We would compel everyone to give it. The rich couldn't give more the poor couldn't give less. We were all equal as a community. You know there was one rich guy that wanted a bit more honor and he said he would pay the entire bill, but we told him sorry. No can do. No more. There was a poor guy that didn't have anything to offer and we made him take a mortgage on his house to come up with the half shekel. Everyone has to feel and appreciate that they each have something to offer and that each are equally represented. The torah tells us that those sacrifices are an atonement and guess what? We all equally need that atonement.

On the other hand, the teruma for the Mishkan each one gave as much as they could. Rich people gave more poor people gave less. We didn't force anyone to give. In fact we went out of our way to make sure that there was no coercion. Hashem wanted it to be solely l'shmi- for the sanctification of His name. See because unlike the sacrifices when it comes to building a house for Hashem each Jew needs to feel that he or she has their own personal meaningful contribution. Hey I'm not rich, but I also get to have my name on the wall and it's just as prominent as Reichman, Rothchild or Rechnitzes. Because we each gave for Hashem what we had. We each gave with all our heart. We each were michavein l'shem Shamayim- we directed our thoughts for the sake of heaven.

I saw in an incredible insight into the covering of the Mishkan it was made out of the skins of some mystical multi-colored creature called the tachash. These many-hued skins were draped over the beams and it was the roof of the Mishkan that seemingly no one even saw as the colors were on the top to heaven. Now no name in Hebrew is abstract and no function in the house of Hashem is without meaning. What is connection and idea of this tachash, its names and its colors to the house of Hashem?

So the word tachash is from the root chash which is to feel, techusha is an emotion. We each have so many colored emotions. Some are red, some blue, some green pink turquoise, grey and balack and white. The midrash says that the tachash had 708 colors, the gematra of the word tachash. The roof of the house of Hashem isn't made out of the gold, silver, precious stones, half shekels or dollars. It is made up of the multicolored desires and drives that each of have brought to this divine home in building this palace for Hashem. It is the techushot that are closest to heaven and all of them are part of the same skin and they are all directed and closest to heaven.

The Rabbis who taught this lesson were the Rabbi of Yavneh. Yavneh is the word yibaneh- it shall be built. They understood that the only the way the temple would be rebuilt is if every Jew can find and express their place in it. The head of the yeshiva of Yavneh was Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakkai. On his tomb in the city of Tiverya is written his one epithet that is mentioned in Pirkey Avot. Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakka was the one who saved Torah after the destruction of the temple. Besides knowing all of the Torah our sages tell us that he understood the languages of the trees, demons and angels as well at the pathways of heaven. He was no little fry. Yet with all of that his one saying was

Avot (2:8) if you learned a lot of Torah don't take credit for yourself; it's what you were born to do.

This same Rabbi Yochanan the Talmud tells us never had anyone greet him first. He was Rabbi- Shalom-Aleichem-how-are-you? Nobody ever beat him to the punch. For he understood that each of has our own role to play. Each of our jobs can be just as holy as the next one. That is how the temple will be built. We all need to stop giving ourselves credit for our own contributions whatever sphere they mean it. It's what we were meant to do. We will all get equal reward if we do. Just ask the Rabbi's of Yavneh. It's what they always say.

Have a equally amazing colorful Shabbos and Chodesh Adar

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Yeder vaist vu se drikt im der shuch..."– Everyone knows where his shoe pinches.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/layehudim - In honor of the Month of Adar I bring you my latest Purim hit hot off the press… Layehudim- Thank you Dovid Lowy for your amazing arrangements. Awesome awesome listen again and again… I promise you will start to dance..

https://youtu.be/vu5QtWsg63s   - Footage of the Clevelander Rebbe ZT"L in 2011 laying the foundation stone for his building in Ranaana

https://www.shortoftheweek.com/2020/01/27/jew-walks-bar/ -  This is pretty interesting, funny and inspiring yeshiva guy comedian David Finkelstien short documentary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vUeP4uuKrY– Mishkan video pretty interesting to see what it would look like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyWZwaxViTg- Chabad Mishkan cartoon I don't even know what is going on here…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

16) An Ottoman aqueduct is found in:

1. Avdat
2. Zedekiah’s Cave
3. Kibbutz Lohamei HaGeta’ot
4. The ‘aqueduct beach’

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Asu li mikdash– Building a Temple Shul  – This week we begin reading the portions of the Torah that describe the mitzva to build the Tabernacle/ Mishkan in the wilderness. The Torah however refers to this build not as the Mishkan only but rather as the Temple- the mikdash. Our sages and codified by the Rambam derive from this that this was a mitzva for "generations" to ultimately build a temple for Hashem where we would bring sacrifices and fulfill the mitzva of the pilgrimage holidays. The SMa"G derives this mitzva however from another verse in Devarim

Devarim (12:11) And it will be, that the place the Lord, your God, will choose in which to establish His Name there you shall bring all that I am commanding you: Your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, your tithes, and the separation by your hand, and the choice of vows which you will vow to the Lord.

However this verse is preceded by a timeframe which is

Ibid (12:10) And you shall cross the Jordan and settle in the land the Lord, your God, is giving you as an inheritance, and He will give you rest from all your enemies surrounding you, and you will dwell securely.

This would suggest that the mitzva requires that we settle the land of Israel and no longer have the threat of enemies. In addition, the Talmud tells us that we need to have a King and wipe out Amalek. We can't even elect a prime minister in this country and take care of a few terrorists so I don't think we're there yet today unfortunately.

Interestingly enough there are opinions and references in our sages that the third Temple will be built by Hashem. There is a heavenly Temple of fire up above that will come down. Yet many commentaries explain that those mystical statements are more of a reference to the spiritual house that will come down and join our Mikdash that we are building or that is only if we are meritorious, but not neccesarily in exception to our Mikdash.

The Zohar Hakodesh however does mention that there is a way to biblically fulfill this mitzva even today and that is in the building of our synagogues and study halls which it suggests stand in place of our Temple. The Rambam, himself writes that it is a mitzva although it is not clear if it is biblical or rabbinical. He does note however that when there are ten Jews in a community it is an obligation to build a place of prayer where the community is obligated to chip in for it. An interesting difference if whether this a biblical obligation would be that if it is biblical only a authorized Beit Din can compel one to "pay his dues" however if it is a communal rabbinical mitzva than the community board possesses the authority to do so as well. Other interesting differences would be if one is permitted to take donations from Non-Jews for the building of Synagogue which we are not permitted to do for the Temple. As well if one can have a gentile contracted to build the building where he would work on it as well for Shabbat. If it is a biblical mitzva then one could and even if it is a rabbinical one that is derived from the biblical one than there are opinions that would permit it. If on the other hand it is just a "hechsher mitzva" a preparatory mitzva that provides for us a place to pray and study than one would not be permitted to have them build it on Shabbos.

Certainly the way we build our synagogues are meant to reflect the building of the Temple. They should have an ark, a bima which is like the Shulchan/Table they had int eh Beit Hamikdash. There should be a preparatory ante-room /hall way before entering in the Shul and it should have windows that-preferably 12 that shine out. The Syngaogue like the Temple is also meant to be the highest place of the city. This obviously doesn't work when one has skyscrapers but ideally that is where is should be built and it is usually the case in most of the small yishuvim that are built in Israel. In fact, the law in Israel is that any city that reaches the status of a city has the benefit of having a shul, Mikva and even eiruv built and paid for by the city. It's nice to live in a country that doesn't have a separation of Church and State. Finally the awe we have of our Synagogues are meant to be the same as we would have for our Temples this is another mitzva of course, but it is in the merit of this mitzva that god willing we will be able to build our real Temple. May that happen pretty soon…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Micha and the Tribe of Dan  939 BC- This is one of my favorite stories to read to my tourists because I get to read it at one of my favourite places; Tel Dan. It's a fascinating story because the timeline isn't really clear. Part of the story according to some commentaries may even be going back to when the Jews were still in Egypt, the end certainly would seem to take place after the story of Shimshon so the story in essence can give you an appreciation of one of the most important and fascinating tribes that really gets the most facetime in the book of Shoftim; the tribe of Dan.

The story begins with a young man named Micha who stole some money from his mother. When he fesses up to her she is grateful and thanks Hashem and takes the money and makes an idol with it. Although this would seem to be strange behavior, on the one hand believing in Hashem and on the other making an idol, our sages seem to say that this took place in Egypt before the Torah was given and the Jews worshipped idols as the Egyptians did despite believing in Hashem. The Israel Museum has a fascinating display of "Jewish idols" as does the Dor museum and even underneath the old city of Jerusalem in the Herodian Road. Seemingly Halachically this should be destroyed but I guess we will have to wait till Mashiach to do that. Unfortunately, too many people see this as an interesting cool thing to see rather than as a remembrance of our ancestor's infidelity to Hashem. (Can you imagine holding on to proof of your infidelity to your spouse and preserving it?). Micha then takes this idol and makes a house of idolatry and appoints his son to be his Kohen/ priest. It's like that good old joke about someone coming to the Rabbi and wanting to make him a Kohen. He should've just gone to Micha.

The story continues after the Jews enter the land of Israel with an individual that seems might just be the grandson of Moshe looking to find a place to live and he lands up by Micha's house and Micha persuades him to stay and become his Kohen. This is even more fascinating if you appreciate that our sags tell us that Micha himself was an adopted child of Moshe who he pulled out of the bricks of the wall that the Egyptians had jammed him in. This would make Yonatan, Moshe's grandson his nephew.

The last stage of this story is about the tribe of Dan not being able to successfully conquer their portion because the Philistines would terrorize them all the time. The area of Dan was meant to be the Gush Dan area, which would include Tel Aviv, Bnai Brak and the Beit Shemesh area (in biblical times) all the way up the coastline to Netanya. In fact Gush Dan is the most populated portion of Israel today with close to 4 million people living there almost half the Jewish population in last than 8% of land of Israel. Pretty crazy. So we definitely have made up for lost time, although we still have terrorists driving us crazy these days up there as well.

So the tribe of Dan sends a group of spies to find a place to live. They come up to a city called Layish along the way stopping at Micha's inn in the portion of Ephraim in the Shomron. They bump into Yonatan and he gives them a blessing that they should be successful. The area they found is today in Tel Dan and one can see the old walls of that ancient city there. The land is beautiful great water from the Dan river and they decide they have finally found their paradise. They head back and get the tribe to come up with them and 600 men make their way to Tel Dan, right on the border of the Golan heights and upper Galile above the Hula Valley.They as well make a pit stop at Micha's inn and they convince the Kohen, Yonatan, to join them and to bring the famous Micha idol with them. Micha is not too happy about this turn of affairs but decides it doesn't really pay to argue with 600 armed men.

The men of Dan come up and conquer the city and burn it down. It's amazing to read this story and see the old burnt walls that they rebuilt the city with. It doesn't get better than that for a tour guide. There they build their own Temple and as long as the Mishkan/ Tabernacle was in Shiloh the Dannites had their own Temple there with an alternative form of Judaism-so to speak- until the exile of the 10 tribes.

It's a fascinating story and an incredible site where one can see that this continued to be an idolatrous city in the times of King Yeravam and even into the second Temple site by the Greeks and pagans. But we'll talk about them when we get to that era. Stay tuned!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE JEWISH JOKES  OF THE WEEK

A poor Jew finds a wallet with $1000 in it. At his shul, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy Jew has lost his wallet and is offering a $100 reward to anyone who returns it. Quickly he locates the owner and gives him the wallet.

The rich man counts the money and says, "I see you have already taken your reward."

The poor Jew responds, "What are you talking about?"

The wealthy Jew continues, "This wallet had $1100 in it when I lost it."

The two men begin arguing, and eventually they come before the saintly, beloved Rabbi Katz.

Both men present their case. The poor man first, then the wealthy man who concludes by saying, "Rabbi Katz, I trust you believe me."

Rabbi Katz says, "Of course." The rich man smiles, and the poor man is devastated. Then Rabbi Katz takes the wallet out of the wealthy man's hands and gives it to the poor man who found it.

"What are you doing?" the rich man yells angrily.

Rabbi Katz responds, "You are, of course, an honest man, and if you say that your missing wallet had $1100 in it, I'm sure it did. But if the man who found this wallet is a liar and a thief, he wouldn't have returned it at all. Which means that this wallet must belong to somebody else. If that man steps forward, he'll get the money. Otherwise, it stays with the man who found it."

"What about my money?" the rich man asks.

"Well, we'll just have to wait until somebody finds a wallet with $1100 in it!"

Shoshana was jealous of her friend Shira. All of Shira’s young children sat quietly with her in shul during the rabbi’s sermon while her 7 year old twins Shimi and Shmueli couldn’t sit still.

About halfway through the speech, Shoshana leaned over to Shira and said, “How do you get your kids to sit so quietly?”

"Before shul I tell them, ‘Remember, if you aren’t quiet Rabbi Goldman will lose his place and will have to start all over again’”!

Moishe and Miriam sit down at the end of each month to go through their finances, although this isn’t really one of Miriam’s areas of expertise.

“Miriam,” said Moishe, “I know Pesach is coming and you’re making a lot of purchases but you need to make sure we have enough in our bank to cover any checks we write.”

“But we have plenty of money in our account,” said Miriam

“Really?” said Moishe. “The bank just returned this check."

"Isn't that nice of them,” said Miriam. “What can I buy with it this time?"

Do you believe in life after death?" Shimmy Rubenstein asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, that makes sense then," Mr. Rubenstein went on, "Because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

Little Rivkah Kramer came into the house while her mother was busy cleaning for Pesach. “Mommy, can I have a dollar to give to an old lady in the park?”

“Why of course,” Mrs. Kramer said as she gave Rivkah the dollar. “That’s a very big mitzvah you are doing,” she continued. "But, tell me, is the old lady OK? Is she not able to work anymore?"

"Oh yes," came Rivkah’s reply. "She sells candy."

Little Rivki Shulman had misbehaved so much all week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment: she told her she couldn't go to the shul picnic on Sunday.

When the day came, Rivki’s mother felt like she had been a little too harsh and changed her mind. When she told Rivki she could go to the picnic, Rivki’s reaction was not what she had expected. She was all doom and gloom.

"What's the matter?” Rivki’s mother asked. “I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic."

"It's too late!" Rivki said. "I already davened for rain."

At the local Talmud Torah School they brought in a fireman to talk about safety. He brought some visual aids with him including a smoke detector. The fireman pressed the button to demonstrate and asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.

Little Moishie Mehlman immediately raised his hand and said, "It means my Abba is cooking dinner."

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Answer is C–  Ahh another easy one. I pass this one all the time on the way to Rosh Hanikra from Akko and make sure to point it out to all my tourists. This Aqueduct was built when Akko was rebuilt by the Turks in the late 1700's, destroyed by Napolean and then rebuilt again in the 1800's. It's pretty amazing to see it alongside Highway 4 as you travel up towards Nahariya as it runs about 13KM. It's a pretty amazing architectural engineering feat because remember water only flows downward and the slope has to be exact so that it doesn't have to go back up. The aqueducts in Casarea are 2^nd Temple Herod and Roman. Don’t' know of any by Tzedakias cave in Jerusalem or Ovdat so this was pretty easy. So the score is Schwartz 10 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

Best- Seller- Parshat Mishpatim- Shekalim 2020 /5780

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

February 21^st 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 18 26^th Shvat 5780

Parshat Mishpatim / Shekalim

Best Sellers

What would you guess are the best-selling genre of books in the Jewish world today?  I'm not talking about the commercially sold books like siddurim and Chumashes that are bought by shuls. I'm not even talking about the talmuds that everyone who started learning the Daf Yomi certainly picked up a copy of their Artscroll Brachos tractate to begin learning or even their Shabbos which a good percentage of those will even start although as they say ba Shabbos ba menucha- when the tractate Shabbos comes along, which is decidedly more difficult then brachos many drop out and take a break. Fuggetabout Eruvin…

Those talmuds are not money makers from their sales at least. Each volume cost hundreds of thousands of dollars of teams of Rabbis, editors, graphics people who worked years on them to produce. They make their money on those 5 or more pages of sponsorships that are in the first few pages of each volume. We don't sell nearly enough to cover the cost of mass publication merely from the sales. Do the math $20 bucks a volume and how many are they selling thousands at most… That ain't gonna cover it. We don't have- yet- large enough of a volume of people, even if a bunch more of Koreans who seem to be fascinated by the Talmud (see youtube clip below) get into it as well.

What books do make money though? What are the most popular books in our Jewish world that seem to fly like latkas off a plate. A new one comes out every three months and they all make money. It's why they keep coming out. I had no clue when this question was posed to me by the head of a large publishing house and I was shocked to find out and confirmed it even with a few others I know. It's not halacha books that was my first guess, certainly not the great Rabbis books which to me generally seem the same with just different pictures on the cover, not the self-help genre that seems to dominate the rest of the dysfunctional world that we live in and that our Jewish magazines can't seem to get enough writing about. Not the parenting books and not the children's books. The best-selling genre in today's Jewish world is bada boom bada bing… drumrollllll… Cookbooks. Yes. You heard me write. Cookbooks. Am I the only one out there that didn't guess that?

Now I don't think I've ever bought a cookbook. I don't cook. I'm more of a food critic, it's part of the job of being a tour guide for a Jewish clientele knowing where the best restaurants, shwarma, falafel, pizza and Israeli cuisines can be found. It's amazing how many people ask me for recommendations. There are some tour guides that can find the hardest hikes in Israel.. I know where the best mehadrin restaraunts are. Everybody has to have their niche right. You want to hang off the side of a cliff after schlepping three hours over trees, shrubs, mountains and feath defying precipices call Dudu. He's skinny and fit and served in Golani and hiked for three months in India. I'm the guy you call when you wanna have a good steak afterwards.

But the truth is I don't think my wife has ever bought one either. Don't get me wrong we have plenty that we shnorred and have even been given gifts of. But she's more of a wing it on her own type of gal. It's in her blood. I know. I made sure of it before I got married eating in my Mother-in-laws house before I proposed. Some people feel it's important to find out about their prospective bride's family, her schooling, her father's bank account. I pretty just wanted to make sure she had a good chulent in her bloodline. She hasn't disappointed. I wasn't skinny before I got married but she hasn't helped me much in that area… Sure she'll use a cookbook here and there, but if she really ever wants a recipe she'll just pop on this really modern invention called the internet. They have a great guy called google there and he can pretty much tell you anything you want to know about making any type of food. He's hooked up with another guy called Youtube and you can even watch how it's done. Not that she needs that either.

So I just don't get it. Who buys these things? Why? Now I know it's not just a Jewish thing. It seems like cooking shows are all the rave and have been for a long time now. Why would anyone want to watch someone make food that you can't even taste. I don't even want to watch them make the food that I will eat. I don't want to know what goes on in the kitchen, which in many Israeli restaurants is usually a smarter way to enjoy your food. If you are really curious don't ask what happened behind those double doors until after you ate it. You don't want to know…But to spend hours watching someone cook, when you can be doing more constructive things like watching one of those funny talent shows, or even non-talented democratic presidential debates of old Jewish millionaires yelling at each other, or even baseball or basketball game (which personally I never got either), I can't relate.

Now on the other hand I know I must be missing something. I wan't sure about it, but this week much to my surprise I opened up my Chumash and discovered that in fact the bestselling book of all time, our Torah of course, is in fact meant to be marketed as not law book, not ethical work, not in the self-help aisle or even the Jewish history bookshelves column of your local book store. Rather, yes, you got that right, our Torah is in fact meant to be sold to the masses as a delicious looking cook-book.
Huh? Do we have the same book, Rabbi Schwartz? Have you started your Purim drinking a bit early this year? Well open up your Chumash and take a peek at Rashi. Hashem begins our parsha which follows the story of the revelation at Sinai and the Ten Commandments of last week.

V'Eileh ha'Mishpatim asher tasim li'fneyhem-And these are the judgements you shall place before them.

It's a strange way of phrasing and introducing all of the laws in this parsha. Why not just the typical "And Hashem told Moshe to command the Jewish people saying". What's this "place it before them" business.

Zogt Rashi…
The Holy One, blessed is He, said to Moshe: Don't think of saying, “I will teach them the chapter or the law two or three times until they know it well, as it was taught, but I be bothered to enable them to understand the reasons for the matter and its explanation.” Therefore, it is said: “you shall set before them,” like a table, set [with food] and prepared to eat from, [placed] before someone. 

See, I told you. It's a cook book. A book with pictures of all types of delectably spiritual culinary of offerings. The Torah is meant to be chock full of mitzvos with pretty little parsley pieces sprinkled over them cut into pretty shapes. This is your Pesach cookbook, this is your Shabbos cookbook, your Sukkos, your first fruit platters, your tzedaka box, your Jewish slave mitzvos, your marriage cake, your goring sirloin oxen and stolen lamb-chops. It's a potpourri of mitzvos and menus to achieve the best spiritual diet that our neshoma seeks. Read our parsha like it's a set table, like it’s a cookbooks of different courses. Each morsel is chock full of nutrients, derivatives none of them have any MSG but they all possess "msg's" for us that are meant to be savored and relished. Delicious!

If you think I'm making this up, check out the end of the parsha where the Torah recounts version two of the story of Sinai. What seemed like an awe-inspiring moment in last week's portion becomes a little more graphic in this week's parsha. Moshe is bringing offerings- steaks of course,,. sprinkling blood, and the people sit down at a table to eat. It's one big meal. The Torah is not just a class from Hashem, from Moshe, from a rabbi or a tour guide. It's something we should eat and drink. It's something that should taste really good. It should look good. We should desire it.

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig notes that food serves two purposes. It's there for nutrition to give us our physical daily requirement. But it is also there for desire. The Talmud tells us that blind person doesn't really enjoy his food. There is an aesthetic aspect to it. It goes back to the garden of Eden to that low hanging fruit that was "tov la'mareh- pretty to look at. That's the way we should experience Torah and our Judaism.

There is a great story I saw recently from Rabbi Ben Zion Yadler, a renowned Magid or lecturer in Jerusalem who was once giving a class about how important and special learning Torah is immediately after praying in the morning is. If one can take the few moments and connect that spiritual high of having just davened and communicated with Hashem, by opening up a sefer and reading his actual words-ahhhh… ! There's nothing more geshmak than that! He thought for a moment to give it that perfect parable and then he said.

"It's so amazing. It's like when someone has a big delicious hot bowl of chulent and then right afterwards he pulls out nice ice cold Coca Cola. Kkkkittchhhhehhhh pssssssss….. that sweet sound of the can opening and the gas fizzing out and then the sip of that sweet cold syrup (Poison! my wife is screaming… I hear it in my brain) ahhhh rolling down your throat. There's nothing better. That's what learning after davening in the morning is like."

A few weeks later Rabbi Yadler recounts how he was walking into his class and he heard two people talking to one another. One said to the other

"Did you hear that amazing class a few weeks ago from the Rav about learning after Davening?"
His friend responded excitedly as well.

"Yes, it was amazing. I can't get it out of my mind. Ever since that drasha I have a cold coke Shabbos morning after chulent and there really is nothing like it…."

Yeah… It's kind of like when people skip my dvar torah and just skip down to the jokes. Not you guys that have made it this far though.

We enter the month of Adar this week. It's the month of joy. We are told on Purim we accepted the Torah a second time. Whereas the first time around it was as if a mountain was held over our head. It was intense. There was thunder and lighting and all types of scary and awesome revelations. It was a very dramatic book or movie, with action, details and laws. In Adar we accepted it with Simcha. We had a seuda; a delicious meal. It was a cook book and we appreciated the delicious flavors of what being a Torah Jew really means. May we all find the simcha on our yiddishkeit in this coming month. b'tayavon as we say here in Israel. Bon apetit!

Have a deliciously rich Shabbos Shekalim

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Shpeiz kocht men in top un koved krigt der teller.."– The food is cooked in a pot and the plate gets the honor.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=192UC23glDw  - Dov Shurin awesome interview about his song nikmeini na worth the view if you like entertainment…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seAUU2K3BYk -  Koreans learn Talmud in Ponovizh! Cool!

https://youtu.be/Tw8DYeoXmUs   – Sim Shalom- awesome beautiful Rabbi "K'" Klatzkow composition Thank you IDF with Pinny Shachter

 https://youtu.be/yM6zs91Khns   - In honor of Parshat Shekalim Lipa Shmeltzer Gelt

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

14) The ancient name of Caesarea:

A.    Stratonos Tower (Migdal Sharshon)

2. Dio Caesarea
3. Diospolis
4. Decapolis

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Hashev Tisheyvenu lo– Returning lost objects  – Finders Keepers Losers weeper is not a Jewish concept. In general the Torah tells us that if you find a lost "returnable" object it is the finder that just found himself what could be a big headache, although it’s a mitzva that you should find to be a delicious opportunity- see above e-mail. The reason is because not only does one have a mitzva to find out who the owner is and return it. There is even a biblical prohibition from hiding one's eyes from it and not picking it up. According to the Rambam if one keeps the lost object for himself he in fact is considered a thief, and that's a pretty big sin.

Now what defines a "returnable" object. So it must be an object that the owner has an expectation of getting back. First of all it has to be lost in a place where there are people that would return it to him. Meaning not in those finders/keepers loser/weepers goyishe societies but rather in a heavily populated Jewish area. Gentiles can keep lost objects and we can even keep theirs as that is the law when it is the case. However, our sages tell us it is a mitzva to sanctify Hashem's name and return it to them as well, despite the fact that they may keep ours. So the object has to have been lost in a Jewish area where people return objects.

As well, the object has to have some identifiable features to it. What is called a siman in Hebrew. A bag of potato chips, or a new object or purchased item that has nothing distinctive about it probably one can keep as the owner knows that even if someone found it there is no way he can prove it is his. An old watch with a scratch on it, or a wallet with idea, a phone with numbers in it, or even money or a bag of different groceries are all things that the owner has a way of uniquely identifying them as his and have to be returned.

Interestingly enough there are times when one should not pick up a lost object. That is when one sees something that looks like it is hidden and placed somewhere specifically. Leave it. The owner is probably coming back for it. As well someone who is an elderly person and it does not behoove his honor to shlep someone's dog that's running around home, can leave it. (Dog being of course just an example of anything that is beneath his dignity to carry).

How does one find the owner and what are my obligations? In the times of the Beit Hamikdash it would be by going up to the pilgrimage and announcing it there for the three holidays that he is there. Afterwards he still not cannot keep it, but he does not have to seek him out the owner anymore. Today we don't have a central pilgrimage place so our shuls or our newspapers are the best places to put up signs and one should keep them up until a reasonable time that everyone in the neighborhood knows about it.

Perhaps the greatest lesson of this mitzva is what the Chafetz chaim tells us is the mitzva to return people's Judaism the them. If one is obligated to return their cow and their wallet to them then for sure their neshoma, their Shabbos, their Jewish heritage, the knowledge that they are part of our special nation with a special mandate and role in this world. This mitzva is the source for Jewish outreach. We are all lost in one way another. Life is about returning to our source. The Sehchina is alos displaced and lost. There is a golden pimple sitting in its place. May Hashem as well return to His home as we return to him….

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shimshon's Death  939 BC- Shimshon's last act on this earth is one of legend that has inspired many Jewish warriors. His dying words tamus nafshi im ha'plishtim- May I die with the Philistines were echoed throughout history by Jews that went down fighting battles that they knew they couldn't win, but at least they inflicted as much damage upon the enemy as they fell. But first the story.

After Delilah's, his philistine wife's betrayal the Plishtim had shaved his hair and poked out his eyes and chained him to a grinding millstone. He lay there in prison it seems where they would come to mock him according to midrash the Philistine women even came there in the hopes of becoming impregnated by him to produce such strong children. After a while his hair started to grow back and the brought him out to be the entertainment for their celebration with their god Dagon. Seemingly he was a fish god and perhaps even the source for the whole mer-man thing. They chained him to two pillars that held up this banquet hall that had about 3000 philistines partying away and mocking Shimshon, blaspheming Hashem and celebrating before their God. It was too much for Shimshon to bear he confesses his sins to Hashem and asks

Zochraini  V'Chazkeini na ach ha'paam ha'zeh ha'Elokim- Remember me and strengthen me just this time Hashem

Vi'hinakma nikam echa mi'shnei einai mi'pilishtim- and I shall take one vengeance for my two eyes from the Philistines.

These words were made into a song and it became an anthem for the hilltop youth radical Jewish settler group movement who demand revenge and "price tag attacks" against any arab terrorism. In this infamous youtube clip Jewish kids are singing with guns for revenge against the arab terrorists and Palestinians https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g1v28PcXjY.  (see below by youtube clips Dov Shurins interview on the that song.

Shimshon then asks for the young boy to lean him up against the pillars. He gives out his fierce cry to die with the Philistines, yanks down the pillars and collapses the entire building killing more in his death than he did in his whole life. Which was no small number. He was then taken by his "brothers" to be buried beteen Tzora and Eshtoael near the grave of his father Manoach and it can be visited there today as Kever Shimshon.

Perhaps one of the most famous modern history of Shimshon were the two soldiers of the Irgun and Lechi Barzani and Feinstien who were sentenced to death by gallows in Jerusalem prison by the British. They blew themselves up in their cell there and it is certainly the image of modern day Shimshon that they had in their minds. As well one of the major controversial Israel army unofficial policies is the Hannibal directive where soldiers are made to understood that it is unaaceptable to allow themselves to be captured alive by terrorists. It is better to kill themselves taking down as many as they can. As the Israeli government cannot afford to negotiate with terrorists nor have the pressure of knowing that one of our boys is alive in their hands. It is amazing how a 3000-year-old Jewish hero still inspires controversy and policy until today.

Next week we start with the next saga in Shoftim one of my favorites… the idol of Micha…stay tuned…

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOKING JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Dovid and Shlomo are older students at the Yeshiva and they decided that they were fed up with living in the dorms with the lousy Yeshiva food. So they decided to rent an apartment and cook food for themselves.

"Did you get us a cook book? Dovid asked.

“I did, but I don’t like it,” Shlomo replied.

"Why, are the recipes too hard?" asked Dovid.

"Exactly!” Shlomo replied. “Every recipe begins the same way, 'Take a clean dish and...'"

So Dovid and Shlomo then went out for a day of shopping downtown in Tel Aviv on a hot summer day. They needed a place to sit down and eat the sandwiches they had packed for each other. Not seeing anyplace convenient, Dovid remembered there was a nice hotel up the block with a great Air conditioning. They headed into the local Waldorf hotel lounge made themselves comfortable there at the tables in the lounge. One of the waiters in the food court marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own food in here!"

They both looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged their sandwiches can continued eating!

Moishe and Miriam were sitting down to eat at the dinner table. Miriam commented, "You know, Moishe, when we were first married, you took the small piece of brisket and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me anymore?"

"Nonsense, honey," replied Moishe, "you just cook better now."

It's lunchtime and 70 year old Berel walks into Leible's Diner for his daily bowl of matzo ball soup. Berel always goes to Lebeils's for his soup. He is also always punctual - so much so that the waiters always know he is coming in and always have his table and his soup ready for him.

As usual, Berel sits down at his table and smiles at Steve, his regular waiter. Almost immediately, a bowl of soup is placed in front of Berel. But this time, as Steve is walking away, Berel quickly calls him back to his table.

"Please taste this soup." Berel says to Steve.

"Why?" asks Steve. "What's the matter with the soup? It's the same soup as you always have."

"Please taste the soup," Berel says again to Steve.

"But there's nothing wrong with your soup. It's been made the same way we always make it," says Steve.

"For the third time, Steve, I ask you to please taste the soup," says Berel

"Alright then… if you insist," says Steve, looking around the table. "But where's the spoon?"

"Ah hah," shouts Berel with a big smile on his face.

The afternoon was drawing to a close, and the guests were getting ready to leave.

"Mrs. Goldberg," said one of the ladies. "I just wanted to tell you that your cookies were so delicious I ate four of them."

"You ate five," responded Mrs. Goldberg. "But who's counting?"

Little Tully was so proud of himself for making a birthday cake for his mother. Chocolate cake being her weakness, Mrs. Rosenberg gulped down almost the entire thing. When she was finished, Tully  happily exclaimed, "I'm so glad you like the cake I made you, Mommy. I’m sorry, there should have been 32 candles on the cake, but they were all gone when I took it out of the oven."

David and Shirley Felder were in Israel to visit family and went out for breakfast to a restaurant where the special was two eggs, a bagel and a coffee for 6 shekels. "I’d like the breakfast special," Shirley said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you 8 shekel because you're ordering a la carte," the restauranteur warned.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" Shirley asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell," Shirley replied. “I’ll take them home with me.”

 Attending a wedding for the first time, a little Shani whispered to her mother, "Why is the Kalla dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. Shani thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

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Answer is A–  This is what happens when you think that you are too smart for yourself and you try to overthink things. I was pretty sure that the Stratun tower thing was Casarea, yet that really wasn't a city. It was more of a light tower and port then anything else. So I thought it wasn't the right answer and was a trick. At the same time I knew it wasn't decopolis (beit shean) or dio polis (lod) I memorized those polises. So I figured I would go with the Dio Caeasarea thing. Never heard of it before. Figure it was a trick. Well I was wrong. Dio Ceasarea was in fact a name for a short time given to Tzippori. So how'd you like that.. I should have just gone with my instinct. Ahhh well… So the score is Schwartz 9 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.