Insights
and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
May 31st 2019
-Volume 9 Issue 34-26th of Iyar 5779
Parshat
Bechukosai/Bamidbar
Namely Yours
On the other hand, there are those that want to not scare their kids that they are going on the boring-hear-the-Rabbi-drone on tour so they call me Ephraim. They also don’t want to explain to their children why they are splashing “the rabbi” back in the water. “Tour Guide” is a strange thing to call me. Usually it’s for the ones that can’t remember my name. They either forgot it from my introduction or were two busy texting on their smartphones while I introduced myself. Don’t get me wrong. I certainly believe a Tour guide is just as important of a job as those other titled positions where you refer to the person by his job like ‘Doctor_____’ ‘Judge____’, ‘Officer_____’ or even ‘President or Prime Minister _____’ . Too bad we can’t seem to figure out how to elect one here. Perhaps a tour guide is even more important. What do those guys do anyways. Do they know how to bring Jews to Israel, where the best kosher restaurants are or how to make 3000 years of history come alive? Who would you rather spend the day with?
So Tour Guide Schwartz would be an appropriate title. But the problem with that is that it would insinuate that there are other tour-guides in this country as well. I don’t want people to get that idea… It’s good for business if they believe I’m the only game in town. I get that from Bibi who seems to have convinced the country he’s the only one that could be Prime Minister and if they didn’t elect him then we’ll just try again.
Now it’s not only when I wear my tour guiding hat- y’know my signature Nefesh B’Nefesh one that is on my head more than my black borsalino is- that presents that dilemma. In my shul certainly most call me the Rav, or Reb Ephraim, although there are some that “slip” and call me Ephraim. It’s hard not to slip, I really am more of their best friend then their Rabbinic mentor, despite the fact that I answer their halachic questions and am the source of their appreciation of the parsha each week. But I do that more as the friend that wants to share and help them than as their Rabbi. Maybe they’re scared if they started calling me Rabbi then then they would have to start paying me a salary, or contributing more to the shul. The kids in the shul call me the lollipop Rabbi. They definitely want to make it clear what our relationship is all about. I give them lollipops and then they don’t disturb services or my drasha. I’m the lollipop Rabbi, they’re the kids we each know our roles and all is good.
With my own kids, I’ve always been Daddy. I did try to get them to call me Father Schwartz, just because I thought it sounded cool. But it never really took off. My grandson doesn’t really call me anything yet, but I will be a Zaiydie. Not Zaidy that rhymes with fraidy-cat but zaiydie with that hard ai in it like sly, high, fry or try. Zaiydi. That’s what my father’s father was called, It’s tradition. He was wise. He had a white beard. I respected him. That’s what I want. See it’s all in the name. Once I have it then I will get the respect, right? OK maybe I should stop stealing his stuff and hiding it while he crawls around trying to find it. That might help.
What’s with the names and titles this week. Well the truth is it is the first thing that jumped out at me when I opened up the chumash and started looking at the new book, we in Eretz Yisrael are beginning this week, the book of Bamidbar. (Don’t worry we will get to the Bechukosai tie-in for you chutznikim reading as well). See the sefer begins with the commandment to Moshe to count the Jewish people in the second year of leaving mitzrayim. Now we have been counted before and we will be counted again, yet for this particular the Torah tells us something fascinating.
Bamidbar (1:2) Take a census of the entire assembly of the children of Israel according to their families, according to their father’s house, by the number of the names.
Now this counting was different than the later count at the end of Bamidbar. Here each Jew is told to be counted according to the names. It wasn’t just a box that was checked how many members in your household. Rather each Jew had a name. It was personal. This is Yankel, this Moishie, this is Berel. Why later aren’t we obligated to count by the names? What happened, what changed?
We are coming up to Shavuos. Every year prior to Shavuos it is at this point in our Torah reading when we celebrate our becoming a nation and remember when we stood together at Sinai and received the Torah. It’s a good time to look back at the books we have read until now and understand the significance and story have studied until now. The Torah is not merely a book of stories or laws. It is our national mandate. It is the blueprint of what we are here for. What we are meant to accomplish and what our role will be in the world. Let’s take it from the beginning.
The book of Bereishis begins with the Creation of the World and Adam Harishon. The first job of Adam is to give names to everything. Each part of creation has a role and title. Its name will identify it and reveal its essence. Adam’s role is to find that name and direct creation to achieving its function. Adam fails. He sins. He is thrown out. The world will no longer function naturally. He will have to struggle with the sweat of his brow to get back to Eden. To bring the world back to its natural divinely revealed state.
The rest of the book is more and more distance. The flood, the tower of Bavel and even the Jewish family of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yakov being exiled to Egypt as far spiritually possible from Eden as one can get.
Shemos is the return of the names. Our exile in Egypt comes to and end and we are being brought back. We are heading home. We have build the tabernacle, house of Hashem, and we are heading back to create a world where Hashem’s divine presence will finally once again reside amongst us. In each and every one of us. The book concludes with Moshe standing outside the Ohel Moed, the tent of meeting. We are at the cusp of Israel, we are almost home.
Vayikra begins with that personal call to Moshe to enter. We are given the laws of how each action we do will have global spiritual significance. We will become close with Hashem. We do that with sacrifices, we do that with the holidays, we will do that in the last two portions with the laws of when we come back to the land; shemitta and Yovel. Everything is in place. Hashem in Bechokosia promises us if we walk in his ways than
Vi’hithalachti bsochichem- I will walk
amongst you.
I will walk with you in Gan Eden, like one of
you.
If on the other hand we don’t follow the mitzvos, the parsha cautions us. If we don’t follow the laws then it is as if we are walking casually with Hashem.The Torah repeats this phrase again and again. Do you know what a casual walk is? It is all the people you passed on the street this morning and you don’t know their name. You don’t care about their lives. You might have said boker tov to them. You may have nodded and smiled. If you are from New York you may not have bumped into them and knocked them down. But more likely you averted your eyes and focused on your cellphone as you sat on the subway next to them. That is casual. Hashem warns us that if our relationship with Him will be that, then we will be once again thrown out of “the garden”. The land will vomit us out. We will have failed.
The Book of Vayikra concludes with the strangely placed laws of Erechin, when one can promise the value of his self to Hashem, to the temple. There are lots of places where we talk about the laws of neder-vows. In Naso, in Matos and even earlier in Vayikra. Why conclude the book with these laws. But now you understand. The entire book is about my personal relationship with Hashem. I, Ephraim Schwartz, can recognize that I have divine significance. With my mere utterance I can proclaim my personal value to Hashem and it becomes holy. The book began with Hashem calling to Moshe by name and Moshe entering the tabernacle. It concludes with each Jew being given the power to take his name, his identity and state and sanctify it to Hashem. It’s us calling names to ourselves just like Adam did in Gan Eden to all of creation. We have reclaimed our role.
Which brings us to the perfect segue of Bamidbar. Hashem calls each Jew by name. he counts everyone. We are ready. We have arrived. In the words of the Seforno
“For at that time each one from that
generation was considered by his name which reflected his personal elevated
stature. Just as it says V’adayach Bashem- I will know you by Name.
The Torah portion continues and tells you about that walking together in the wilderness. Each person surrounded the tabernacle. Each person had their own seat. Each seat could even be said had one of those little brass name tags on the back. We were the merkava-the chariot for the shechina. We would march that way into the land of Israel. At least we were supposed to. But we failed.
The debacle of the spies later on in the book, the Netziv explains, was the Jews saying it was too much. We can’t always be walking with You. We can’t always be in the palace of the King. We need a break. We can’t always be wearing our tour guide hat. What’s wrong with a little casual. And thus they weren’t allowed to enter the land. Even the ones that entered the land it wasn’t going to be Gan Eden. We would be thrown out again and again. We still don’t have our names and our proper title straight. We are still waiting for Hashem to come walk with us again.
This Sunday marks Yom Yerushalayim, it is 52 years since Hashem has returned the place where his Beis Hamikdash will once again stand to us. Are we ready to receive it? Are we ready to stand up and declare that each of us have a spiritual role that we need to reveal and take that walk with Hashem. Can we see that name of Hashem in our fellow yid? Can we help him or here find their Jewish name? 3300 years ago we stood on Har Sinai, ki’ish echad b’leiv echad- like one man with one heart. Each Jew said na’aseh v’nishma. We want it forever. So Reb____ or Rebbetzin____ or however you want me to call you dear reader, are you ready?
Have a whiz-bang spectacular Shabbos and Rosh Chodesh Sivan,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
**********************************************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S
FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Nit kain groisser khokhem, nit kain klainer
nar.” He’s no great sage and
no small fool..
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF
THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q A road that was paved by the Gdud haAvoda:
A. Ramat Rachel – Bethlehem
B. Tiberias – Tzemaִh
C. Amiad – Farod
D. Ashdod – Be’er Sheba
RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/yklc_FZINcI
– New 8th Day- We
all Belong- I like this song!
https://www.torahcafe.com/rabbi-moshe-bryski/the-hand-of-g-d-in-your-life-video_53ba00fd9.html – Amazing
shiur and story if you just want the great story start video at 50 min. trust
me its worth it!
http://jewishmusic.fm/he?s=what+makes+you+beautiful&iva_search_keyword=Musicplay_Custom_Search&iva_search_input=what+makes+you+beautiful
–In
honor of Yom Yerushalayim- What makes you Beautiful Variations- Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/pkj7M-mQMh8
-
Amazing historical Yom Yerushalayim clips
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS”
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Parshat Bamidbar– The Lomdus is getting better
and better as we approach matan torah- the day the Torah was given. This week I
share with you a fantastic piece from the Chasam Sofer that is not only on the
parsha but will get in the mode of Shavuos as well.
We
begin the book of Bamidbar this week. And of course being the sefer-
hapekudim-the book of Numbers- or more accurately counting, it begins with
a count of the Jewish people. The torah tells us that they came to be counted
and
Bamidbar (1:18) and
they established their genealogy according to their families.
Rashi
quoting the Midrash explains
“They brought
their documents of lineage and witnesses to their status of their birth each
and every one of them to trace their ancestry to the tribe that they were
from.”
The
Chasam Sofer explains the claim of the non-Jews and this strange answer of
Hashem of course lomdishly. The Talmud in Avoda Zara says that the nations will
claim that it is not fair that we received the Torah. For we were forced to
accept it. Hashem held the mountain over our head, the midrash tells us. If
Hashem would’ve forced them as well they would have taken it too.
So
the Chasam Sofer explains that we have to understand why it works if we were
forced to take it. What type of acceptance is that? Why are the nations of the
world wrong? He answers brilliantly that the Rambam notes that the law is if
someone does not want to give a get-divorce document to his wife, the court can
force him until he says “rotzeh ani”- I want. Then it is a valid get.
The Rambam explains that despite the fact that this is done under coercion.
Rambam Laws of
Divorce (2:20) Since he wants to be part of klal Yisrael, and he wants to do
the mitzvos and distance himself from sins, just his evil inclination is
attacking him, so since he is hit until his yetzer harah is weakened and he
says he wants it is considered as if he divorced from will.
Aha!
If that’s the case, then it makes sense what Hashem told the nations of the
world. Bring your lineage. You are not descended from those that sacrificed for
me. You don’t have that DNA of self-realization that the Jewish people and
children of Israel have. Being forced to accept the Torah would not have
worked. It would have been considered coerced. Only the Jewish people who can
bring their lineage have that claim that rotzeh ani- is a revelation of their
true essence. That is the magnificent answer of the Chasam Sofer. Aren’t you
pumped to celebrate Shavuos!
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S
AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land –Tribe of Yissachar
and Zevulun 1265
BC –
They are the two brothers that are forever joined. Zevulun we are told was the
sailor and business man and Yissachar was the Torah scholars that were
supported by Zevulun. Perhaps one of the biggest anomalies of the division of
the land of the tribes, that most tourists get stuck on is the fact the portion
of Zevulun which is in fact one of the smallest portions is landlocked on all
sides. See the Torah tells us in the blessing of Yaakov that Zevulun will dwell
on the shores of the seas- lachof yamim. The problem is he doesn’t. Many of the
commentaries struggle with this. The Gaon of Vilna even goes so far to suggest
that perhaps there was a river or stream that went from there portion out to
the sea. Certainly it is not an easy topic.
Now both of the portions
are located in the Lower Galile and Jezree’el Valley. Zevulun is
NW of Yissachar and neighbors Asher and Naftali in the North and Menashe on the
south. Yissachar as well neighbours Naftali in the North and Menashe in the
South as well as the Jordan River on the East that borders Menashe on
the other side of the Jordan. Now both of these portions are given together in
the book of Yehoshua to them for Zevulun would half of his crops to Yissachar
who didn’t plant that much as he was studying.
Interestingly enough
today I would say the area of Yissachar which included the valley of
Jezere’el, Mt. Tavor, Megiddo and Nazareth of today are one of the
best agricultural areas in Israel. And it fact the
blessing of Yaakov to Asher would be “and he saw rest for it was pleasant” and
there’s nothing more pleasant then a nice beautiful valley to plant in. The cities
of Zevulun, on the other hand that are mentioned we only have about 3 or four
of them today that are named after them Nahalal, Beit Lechem (Haglilit-not
to be confused with the other one by Jerusalem), Chanaton and Dobrat.
Another interesting anomaly though is that the it seems that in Israel today
the area between Akko and Haifa are called the valley of Zevulun- Emek
Zevulun. Unfortunately that is not part of the tribe of Zevulun. Ah well,
can’t get them all right.
RABBI
SCHWARTZ’S JOB TITLE JOKE OF THE WEEK
These
are all real Job Titles for companies what do you think you are qualified for?
1.
Talent Delivery Specialist – Recruitment
Consultant.
2.
Snake Milker – Someone who milks snakes of their
venom.
3.
Chick Sexer – Someone who determines the sex of
chickens.
4.
Lab Rat – I would guess this means clinical
trial volunteer…
5.
Animal Colourist – Someone who dyes animals
for movies and marketing campaigns.
6.
Hair Boiler – Someone who boils animal hair
until it curls (for use in a variety of products).
7.
Retail Jedi – A Shop Assistant.
8.
Wizard of Light Bulb Moments – A Marketing
Director.
9.
Wet Leisure Attendant – A Lifeguard.
10.
Chief Everything Officer – They do everything…
obviously.
11.
Communications Ambassador – Who knows?
12.
Colour Distribution Technician – A Painter
and Decorator.
13.
Happiness Advocate – Who knows?
14.
Legal Bank Robber – Someone who tests how easy it is
to penetrate bank security!
15.
Second Tier Totalist – Who knows?
16.
Teddy Bear Surgeon – Someone who’ll stitch
Snuggles up for you.
17.
Champagne Tester – Sign me up – right now!
18.
Water Slide Tester – Amazing.
19.
Rollercoaster Tester – Dream job for the adrenaline
junkie!
20.
Ice Rink Hand-Holder – I love this idea – I could certainly do
with a helping hand.
21.
Professional Sleeper – Sound like your cup of tea? For
more details, click here!
22
Head of Potatoes – Who knows?
23
Marker of the Swans – Someone who, quite literally,
marks all of the swans.
24.
Chief Inspiration Officer – To encourage ‘belief in the
company’ and ‘internal evangelism of its values.’
25.
Chocolate Taster – The best job in the world.
26.
Beverage Dissemination Officer – A Bartender.
27.
Cheese Sprayer – Someone who sprays cheese or
butter by hand on popcorn.
28.
Chief Biscuit Dunker – Who knows?
29.
Teen Exorcist – Creepy…
30.
In-house Philosopher – Who knows?
31.
Crayon Evangelist – A Graphic
Designer.
32.
Genius – A Sales Assistants at Apple.
33.
Fake mourner – Someone who cries for you at a
funeral.
34.
Cat Behaviour Consultant – Who knows?
35.
Pet Food Taster – YUM. What a life.
36.
Corporate Magician – A Trade Show Magician.
37.
Oyster Floater – Someone who floats oysters in
water until they are free of impurities.
38.
Toilet Sniffer – I would guess this is
something to do with making sure toilets don’t smell?
39.
Hairapist – Cari, I’ve had a fab idea, why don’t
you mingle the words Hair and Therapist!
40.
Professional Snuggler – Would you want to snuggle this guy..?
41.
Professional Liar – Good job we know how to lie detect then…
42.
Face Feeler – Who knows?
43.
Bike Fishermen – People who fish bicycles out of canals.
44.
Airport Scarecrow – Who knows?
Marty
Cohen was coming back from his nephew’s bar mitzvah party where he may have had
a few too many l’chaims and he rear-ended the car in front of him. Being that
he was a lawyer, Marty got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the
other car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble! I'm a lawyer!"
The
driver looked out his window and said, "I’m not so sure about that. I'm
a judge."
Yankel and Moishe were applying for
the same job. The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can
get this job."
So they took the test and the next
day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well, he said, "Both
of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the Yankel."
Berel complained, "Don't you
think that's unfair?"
"Well," the boss said,
"Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way
through until the last question came up, and he answered, "I don't
know," and then when I looked at your paper, you answered, "Me
either!"
On
his way to work one morning, Nathan arrives at Penn station a bit early. While
he's waiting for his train, he notices a new machine on the platform - the sign
on it says it's a state-of-the-art talking weighing machine. So Nathan
stands on it, puts in a $1 bill and the machine says, "You weigh
160 pounds and you are Jewish."
Nathan can't believe what he's just heard. So he gets on it again and inserts another $1 bill. "You weigh 160 pounds, you are Jewish and you're waiting for the 7:35am train to take you to your job at the Bank."
He is totally shocked, but he's determined to beat the machine. He goes into the mens room, ruffles up his hair, puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, removes his tie, takes off his jacket and drapes it over his arm, and puts a first aid plaster on his chin. He then goes back outside, steps on the machine and puts in another $1. The machine instantly says, "You're still Jewish and weigh 160 pounds. You're also a shlimazel, you just missed your train."
Nathan can't believe what he's just heard. So he gets on it again and inserts another $1 bill. "You weigh 160 pounds, you are Jewish and you're waiting for the 7:35am train to take you to your job at the Bank."
He is totally shocked, but he's determined to beat the machine. He goes into the mens room, ruffles up his hair, puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, removes his tie, takes off his jacket and drapes it over his arm, and puts a first aid plaster on his chin. He then goes back outside, steps on the machine and puts in another $1. The machine instantly says, "You're still Jewish and weigh 160 pounds. You're also a shlimazel, you just missed your train."
************
Answer is B– I got this one right too! I actually
think I had this on one of the other exams I took on this E-Mail a few years
ago. (actually I just checked and it was last year parshat Behaloscha). I was
pretty sure I remembered the right answere but I also figured it out and
guessed, based on the fact that that I knew that much of the gedud avoda in the
1920’2 was based in lower galilee Tiverya area where the tzemach Tiverya road
runs. That was the area that the chalutzim-early pioneers and kibbutzim were
where they lived. In fact Tzemach Tiverya road was the first to be done by
Jewish labor- not that they had a clue what they were doing, they were just so
excited they got the job. It was connected to the establishment of the
hydro-electric plant in Gesher and the completion of the Rakevet Ha’Emek. So it
is pretty important. So it’s good to review
on these exams. But I got it Right and the the score is Schwartz 23 and 6 for MOT (Ministry
of Tourism) on this exam so far.
