Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Who's Right?- Parshat Shelach and Korach 2019 / 5779


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
June 18th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 38-25th of Sivan 5779

Parshat Shelach/ Korach
Who’s Right?

 One of the hard things about being too smart, not that I would know, of course., is that you form opinions. Generally, they are pretty strong opinions. After-all you’re a smart guy. You’re thought out. It is almost incomprehensible that someone else’s opinion could have any really validity. What makes it even harder is that if your job is to teach a particular subject, or discuss a particular area repeatedly. If people are asking you your “take” regularly on a certain issue, then you become even more entrenched in your thinking. It’s not easy to step back and see the fallacy of your idea, premise, solution or perspective. You have kind of dug yourself a hole and now you gotta live in it.

Take for example…ummmm I dunno… let’s say a tour guide. People ask you all the time, what your opinion is on the two state solution, the prospects for peace, the fights between the different religious segments, what you might think about the upcoming elections, the government, or whether Jews should move to Israel or not. Those are the easy things to form and share your opinions on. Than you have the subtler things about the country. Archaeologists and the legitimacy of their findings, whether the country is investing enough in the infrastructure and roads, the price of gas and cars vs the price of tuition and health insurance and of course if good shwarma and falafel outweighs a decent pastrami sandwich on club or not. Tour guides are asked these questions every day and we become more and more authoritative in our opinions. We’re the experts right?

Now I generally try to play the devil’s advocate and take the opposite side of whatever I think my tourists will say. I do not discriminate. I’m an equal opportunity offender. If they are liberal I will challenge them with some right wing views, if they are right wing I play the dove. If they are anti-zionists then I try to inspire them with some great soldier stories and the spiritual benefits of the country and even the merits the governments that formed it may have. On the other hand if they are very zionisty than I’ll go the other way and try to show them some of the hypocrisy in that system. Atheists will get challenged with God, Religiousists will be challenged with heresy- just joking, but certainly will be challenged in what some of their pre-conceived “sacred cows” might be. And if they are vegetarians of course they should just find another tour guide…We’re doing cow J I never challenge the carnivores though.

The idea behind this excersise is really two-fold. One, you’re in the land of Israel. It’s time to rethink things. You can understand things different. You’re outside of the system you were raised in for the past _________ years of your life. Let’s examine, challenge and perhaps maybe even appreciate a different point of view. Secondly, and perhaps even more importantly it exposes me to new views. New arguments and ideas. Maybe it will get me to reexamine some of my firmly entrenched opinions I have been spouting. Maybe I will understand why I am wrong.

Now someone who has this type of personality can get into trouble. Especially if they aren’t blessed with a nice smile and hearty slap on the back laugh that makes people forget that you challenged the most fundamental principles of their life moments before. For me the trouble started at a young age- before I perfected the smile and laugh- and got me in hot water more times than I can count. But the real trouble isn’t just getting “moved” yeshivas or sitting in the principal’s office. When I say real trouble I mean real spiritual trouble.

See, because as a Rabbi who believes in the Torah and having read and studied it many times, there is one thing I learned. And that is that the elders and more learned Rabbis and spiritual leaders of our nation are given special divine guidance on how best to lead the people. I don’t mean that Hashem talks to them. He doesn’t. We don’t have prophets any more. But he acts through them. They are charged with the spiritual responsibility of the people, and with that job, and the decades of non-stop Torah study and tradition from their own Rabbis and masters whose torch they are carrying, they are granted that loving hand of Hashem that pushes their decision in the way that He wants it go. In the way that it is best for our people.

So I believe this fundamentally. The problem is what happens when I think they are wrong? Now some people can quickly just blindly close their eyes and agree. Perhaps many of them never had an opinion in the first place. But what if you do have an opinion. What if all you have are opinions. Strong ones. And then you hear somebody else who you know is “right” say things that just make no sense to you. The path they are suggesting is destructive. It’s missing the boat. It’s focusing on the trees and missing the forest. Has that ever happened to you? It has to me many times. I know they are right and I am wrong. The Torah even tells us that there is a mitzva to follow what our sages tell you if “right is left and left is right”. Now a lot of people might try to convince themselves that if the Rabbi says left is right than it must be. But somehow I can’t get over that nagging feeling that it still looks kind of left to me.

But that’s the beauty of the Torah though. The world is not run based on our understanding. It’s run by Hashem. If I’m an observant Jew than I follow their lead, because ultimately the God that I believe in and that created me and that knows what’s best for me commanded me to do so. It’s a simple as that. At least in theory…

But it seems that I’m not the only one with this problem, the two parshiyos of Shelach and Korach are replete with this issue. Do the people know better? Do even great Rabbis and leaders know better. What makes more sense. I shudder to think what side I would’ve been on had I been there. What side do you think you would have been on? Let’s play the Rabbi Schwartz devil’s advocate game.

So Moshe sends out spies. He thinks it’s a good idea. Their job? Check out the land and report back. Frankly the land looks pretty scary. Giants, dying people, and to be honest lots of bad influences. Immorality, licentiousness and that old Jewish sweet tooth “idolatry”. Uh Oh. Now let’s say you’re a Rabbi, a leader, your entire yeshiva is studying hard like nobody’s business. They are in the class of Moshe Rabbeinu. The only food they eat is spiritual Manna and everyone is getting it at their own doorstep because nobody wants to be humiliated by having to shlep out to the field and getting it- which is what happens if they sinned. So everyone is behaving and as they say in yeshiva ling shteiging away! Are you gonna come back and recommend they leave yeshiva put on army uniforms and move to a place where they will have to plant, grow, farm, get involved in business?

You’re the Jewish people. You love learning. You love shiur, you feel closer to Hashem each day. Now Your Rosh Yeshiva Moshe and Yehoshua and Calev are telling you that you have to leave and go fight, and get dirty. But you like your shtender in Kollel. You heard about all the terrible influences over there. Some of them even have smartphones. All the other Rabbis are saying you”ll never be successful there. Not physically and not spiritually. You’re just not ready for it yet. So whose side are you on?

You’re the children of these Jews and spies. You just heard the bad news that basically you will die here in the wilderness. You will never see Israel. 40 years of shlepping around in a desert. And for what? To die and no one will ever know you were buried. Sure Hashem told us we can’t go. But as Rebbi Tzadok of Lublin explains the sin of the ma’aapilim- those that went up after Moshe told them they can’t- the law is

 kol ma she’omar lecha haba’al habayis asei- chutz mei’tzei- One is obligated to listen to everything your “host” tells you except when he tells you to leave.

Hashem Himself told us that we should not listen when he tells us he doesn’t want us anymore. Maybe it’s just a test. Sure Moshe, is telling us not to but maybe that’s part of the test. We will give our lives for the mitzva to live in the land. It is like the akeydas Yitzchak- the binding of Yitzchak, where we are meant to feel we are giving up our lives. {In fact I saw it pointed out that it the reason they got up early in the morning like the morning of the akeyda. They start out saying hinneinu- we are ready, just like Avraham did. And the concept like the akeyda is in fact going up olah- like Yitzchak. Moshe is like the angel telling them not to go, but they are ignoring him until Hashem will tell them- pretty cool! No?} So are you grabbing your sword and the call of these brave heroes to make aliya?

Finally, we come to this week, Korach and 250 of the head of Sanhedrin. These were not simple people. They were the ones that took blows for us back in Egypt. In the words of the Torah they were kriyei ha’eida- the men of renown. They were the ones that answered all of their shaylos,questions and personal issues. Sure Moshe and Aharon are the leaders and great ones. The greatest ones. But didn’t Hashem say on Mt. Sinai we are all holy. We are a nation of Kohanim. Isn’t the ultimate plan for all of us to be connected directly to Hashem. Doesn’t each Jew have something that no one else can provide. We don’t need any intermediaries. The truth is some of the commentaries note that they were right. Ultimately in the times of Mashiach the entire world will be connected to Hashem the service will no longer be in the hand of the Kohanim rather each family will have its first born representing them. They were right logically.

And then Korach loses. He gets swallowed up, as do all the 250 greatest men of that time. There is no more competition for Moshe. But…they were our Rebbeim, they taught us everything. They took blows for us. They were gedolim. Moshe, did you really have to have them swallowed up? Couldn’t you find a more peaceful solution? They were good people that got it wrong. Hey, we also thought they might be right. Is that a reason to ask Hashem to swallow them and their poor little baby children into the ground? 14,700 people dead later in a plague proved that they (we?) were wrong about that as well.

Pretty scary isn’t it? Can you imagine which side you would be on? One of the great Rebbes of Satmar (I believe it was the yitav lev) once said that he remembers that he was there in his previous incarnation and he was on the fence on who to follow. And if you think you wouldn’t have been than you don’t really understand who Korach was. He was the grandfather of Shmuel. He saw with prophecy that his descendant will ultimately anoint King David and begin the pathway to Mashiach. He was someone that had the ability to get the majority of the Jewish leaders- the Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah behind him. But he was wrong. We were wrong. We are wrong a lot.

Perhaps that’s the most important message to take from these parshiyot that we read each year about the lessons that we need to enter the land of Israel. Perhaps it’s important to not necessarily be that entrenched in our opinion. We see many great leaders fight and argue throughout the millennia. Many times really nasty bitter fights. Each side believes the other side are heretics and taking us down to the abyss. Many times we identify and understand and relate to one opinion over the other. We are closer to one idea more than the next and we may even thing the opposite view is just bad business. A Chilul Hashem. Maybe we should remember the words of the wife of Ohn ben Peles who was originally on Team Korach but then didn’t show up for the finals, who asked him one simple question. “What do you stand to gain?”. Why get involved? Why be wrong? Why end up in a hole...

Yes, it’s true there are times that we have to take a stand. When you have to join a team. When you have to vote for a party. But in those cases, it’s an incredible exercise to not do so because you feel it is your opinion that is best being expressed. You’re a lot safer if you’re relying on someone greater than you. You’re following da’as Torah- the ones that have that extra spiritual gifted insight. That doesn’t mean you have to give up your opinion. It’s called nullifying your will before His. It’s Judaism 101. We are meant to have a will. We are meant to question, challenge, and play devil’s advocate and try to see all sides of an argument. Torah and Talmud study is all about that. But at the end of the day, we are all mere pawns in the hands of Hashem. He’s the one that’s leading our tour. And it is his path-the path to redemption that will finally bring us all to the promised land.

Have a smashing Shabbos and a blessed Rosh Chodesh Shvat,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Az men chazert tsu fil iber vi gerecht men iz, vert men umgerecht.”- If you repeat too many times how right you are, you’ll find that you’re wrong


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBw5ZQ0SRY4  Baruch Levine on the shoulders of Giants new song Torah Umesora

https://youtu.be/Gdf1XUIcr6c   My colleague Rabbi Mike Stern O”BM who died tragically this week. An inspiring class he gave- the Rabbi without Walls. All heart!

https://youtu.be/ouYVNnsJeXk  On the topic of sinkholes and Korach check out the Dissappearing Dead Sea and the sinkholes that it is eating it up.

https://youtu.be/B3z1AWRJGtY   - Shlomo Katz Berdithcever niggun and Korach!

https://youtu.be/K1wlv9kuOzM - In honor of Rivka and Elka Schwartzes Birthday! Composed by Avrum Mordche Schwartz – (not my father- but the name is pretty close J)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q  A Philistine burial site was recently discovered in:
A. Gaza
B. Gat
C. Revadim
D. Ashkelon

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Korach– Our sages tell us that we should watch out for the words of our Rabbis because they’re words are sharp and like fire can burn. Lamdanim particualarly are so. If they want to give a good line, it’s not just a simple little sthoch-or wise crack. There will be an insight, a torah thought and then they will take that idea and use it for the line and message they want to give.

Take this week’s Torah portion for example. We are told the mitzva of the Kohanim and Levi’im working in the Temple their job is meant to be one of Avodas matana- work that is a gift. It seems a strange contradiction. If they are workers then its not a gift. It’s their job. On the other hand if it is a job than its really not a gift. Fascinatingly enough we find the same term in the opposite sense. Hashem tells the Jewish people that they should provide “gifts” for the Kohanim. Parts of their animals, the tithes, the first born etc… But again this is refered to as the terumas matana- the tithe of a gift. Is it a tithe or a gift. Is it voluntary or not?

This was a question Rabbi Mordechai Banet asked when he came to speak in a synagogue. Before he spoke the Gabbai came over to him and gave him an “envelope” of money for his speaking honorarium. The Rebbi turned to the Gabbai and paraphrased our sages insight into the words of Hashem-

ma ani b’chinam gam atem b’chinam”- just as I am free so too should you be free”

However, when the Gabbai took the envelope and turned to take it back for the congregation. The Rabbi stopped him and told him he shouldn’t give it back to them so quick- for “just as I am for free- so to should the people feel they are giving it to me for free- not as a speaking fee…
And thus he explained the verse and insight into the Torah’s description of the gifts above. The Kohen should look at his service in the Temple not as a job, but rather as a gift. He is privileged to serve Hashem’s holy people. It is certainly his job, but he should always view it as gift that he is offering to them. Similarly, the Jewish people when they are giving their tithes and first-borns and steaks to the Kohen that they are obligated to give. It should never be viewed as a burden, or a tax. Rather it is a gift. It is something that is given with love and privilege. They have the merit to provide for the Kohanim.

I don’t know if he walked away with the money or not. But one thing is certain. They certainly were granted a gift with this beautiful insight.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land –Cities of Levi and Refugee Cities 1265 BC – We have reached the end of the Book of Yehoshua and with that the final division of Israel. All the tribes got their biblical potions, the tabernacle had been set up in Shilo and the tribe of Levi now approached and asked for their cities. The tribe of Levi dedicated to working in the Temple and teaching the Jewish people would not have a portion in the land. The land was meant to work, plant, gorw and make flourish. That wasn’t their job. They were too busy worrying about making the Jews grow and flourish spiritually. Yet they were promised cities to live in amongst the people. Different tribes would dedicate cities for their living. The large tribes with lots of land gave more, the small tribes with smaller portions less. Yehuda for example gave them 8 cities., Naftali up in the north 3, Shimon in the Negev only 1.

In addition to the Levi cities there was one more group that needed cities; the refugees. See, Donald, the Torah as well was worried about refugee Jews. Not just refugees though, rather they were people that had killed someone unintentionally. Perhaps a bit negligent, they should’ve paid more attention. They were not liable for the death penalty but they were forced to flee to these “safe cities” from where the family of the deceased would be unable to avenge themselves against them. They would remain there until the Kohen Gaol died. They were permitted to go to all of the cities of the Levites, where they would be protected, but there they had to pay rent.  I guess it would be a good influence on them to be with the Levi’im and get that added spiritual counselling they would need after causing such a tragedy. However, there were 6 cities that were just refugee cities that was free for those that needed a place to flee to. 3 of the cities were on the other side of the Jordan River, in the areas of the tribes of Reuvein, Gad and half of Menashe, and three were in the rest of Israel. I guess more accidents happened over there.

Many of those cities are still around today. The Golan was a city of refuge and is still part of Israel today. Ramot Gilead is a village in Israel but it is named after the city of refuge that is in Jordan today, which they are illegally occupying as the other side of Jordan was the biblical portion of the tribe of Reuvein and Gad. In Israel the 3 cities were Kedesh which in the finger of Galile today as well as Shechem and Chevron. There are certainly lots of “non- intentional” killers that are finding refuge in those last two cities from our “cousins” till today.

Of the 48 cities of the Levi that are still familiar names today from north to South are Chammat- which part of Tiverya today but was the Chamei Tiverya. Kisalot, Tavor, Yokne’am by Mt. Carmel. In the center there is Beit Shemesh, Yutah,Givon, Anatot, and Beit Horon, and in the Chevron area there are Yatir- great winery and Kiryat Arba.

Am I the only one that finds it inspiring to learn and read about all these biblical cities that are now flourishing cities in Israel. To read and see the same names of places in our 3000 year old Tanach and then see the same places on the maps of Israel once again being populated by the children of Israel. If I am. Then don’t worry we’re starting the book of Shoftim soon and we’ll get back to the story narratives of Tanach and where they took place. But I hope you have found the past few weeks description of all the tribes as inspiring as I have.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  EMPLOYEE JOKES OF THE WEEK

Berel walks into his boss and  asks him “Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?”

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Berel: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious Firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Berel: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Berel: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Berel: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Berel answered on his way out “Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company And the Mortgage Company!”

Berel comes in for a job performance assessment. His boss begins the questions
Boss: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If you drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Berel That's easy, 49.
Boss: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge.
Boss: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee: Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.
Boss: Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee: Ere.... I guess she drowned.... errr...
Boss: No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job.... You may leave now!
Moral: No matter how much you know or how much you are prepared. If your Boss has decided to fire you don’t stand a chance

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Yankel walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan.

Yankel then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the Yankel returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.
The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
Yankel  replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

************
Answer is D–  So this discovery was actually found in 2016. A few years since I took my course, so I didn’t learn it there. To be honest I’ve never toured any of those places, so as well I haven’t seen this cemetery. Most of my clients are not turned on by philistine history or artifacts. I do remember reading about the find of the cemetery as I try to keep apprised of new finds and developments. But it was a fairly easy deduction and guess. It wasn’t Gaza because despite the fact that it was where the philistines lived, but the only digging going on there is tunnels sadly. Gat and Revadim don’t have any archeological sites I know of. Ashkelon on the other hand does, as well the government would like to open it up to more tourism so they invested in finding stuff. So I went in Ashkelon and that is the right answer. So the score is Schwartz 27 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Lessons of the Lashon -Parshat Behaloscha and Shelach 2019 / 5779


Insights and Inspiration

from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
June 18th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 37-18th of Sivan 5779

Parshat Behaloscha/ Shelach
Lessons of the Lashon

 One of the most unfortunate aspects of the passing of the previous generation of my grandparents is the loss of their keen insights and sensitivities that were so obvious to them, yet are lacking in our modern world. This past week marks the yartzeit of my grandfather and as memories of him and his pleasant loving ways flow through my thoughts I recall many of the lessons he taught me in his simple loving way.

There was one lesson that I remember which as children he would drill into us regularly. Whenever we were eating over his house -which is generally the activity we engaged in if we were in feeding range of my grandmother- and there was something we did not like, perhaps the oily latkes or the _____weeks old leftovers that she insisted were still good, As children we learned very rapidly that we could never say “uchh the food is bad"or “eeww it looks disgusting”   for my grandfather's reaction was like lightning. A frown would quickly come over his usually smiling face and he would scold us and say “Never call food disgusting.” “If you don’t like it say I don’t like it but don’t speak badly of food.” Perhaps it was a reaction due to the lack of food he may have experienced during the war years, but I believe he was also training us to a perspective and sensitivity about how we should speak and the import of watching the words that comes out of our mouths. 

This week's Torah portion also brings us an incredible lesson in the laws of watching the words that we speak. We are introduced to the unfortunate saga of the twelve spies of the Jewish people who were sent out to tour the land before the nation’s arrival. (Upon reflection, I'm sure they had wished that they had taken me as a tour guide- a tragic mistake that some people surprisingly make sadly enough, and that can lead to dire resultsJ… ourholylandtours.com- "the tour that will never have you bad mouthing Israel"- and now back to your regularly scheduled E-Mail). Upon their return and after their praise for the land they began their speech of impending doom

They brought forth to the Children of Israel an evil report on the Land saying
“It is a land that devours its inhabitants! All the people were huge .. And we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes.”

 The wondrous fruit that were so large was used as a tool to terrify the people as to the unnatural size of the inhabitants. The deaths and funerals they witnessed on their mission which God had miraculously provided so they would be inconspicuous (according to the Midrash), were viewed to be signs of a disease ridden country. And the people mourned. That fateful Tishah B'Av became the national day of mourning for opportunities missed and of lessons that had to be learned. The lesson of the spies …
“And the men who Moshe sent to spy the Land and who returned and spoke evil of the Land died in a plague before Hashem”

 This rather harsh punishment The Medrash tells us is because they should have learned from the lesson of Miriam in the previous Parsha Behaloscha- the one you guys in America are still reading, the Torah portion juxtaposed to this one, which shares with us the incident of the Lashon harah- literally translated as “evil tongue  of Moshe’s sister Miriam who wrongfully accused Moshe of being “holier than thou” in his separation from his wife. For speaking evil about the greatest of all men she is punished with divine tzoraas (a spiritual/ physical malady resembling leprosy) and is sent out of the camp until she is healed. The Spies are accused of not having learned the lesson of Miriam and her punishment for speaking Evil.

What is troubling however is it seems that there should be a difference between the two. I think many of us can agree we should not speak lashon harah about great people or even not such great people. But about a land? About sticks and stones? About my grandmother’s week old to'tat paprikash (Hungarian stuffed peppers which seemed to breed in her fridge-oops there I go again) It doesn’t seem like anyone will get hurt.

The answer I believe reveals the essence of the Torah’s concept of lashon harah. The Sin of lashon harah is not necessarily a Sin about speaking gossip or slandering and hurting another. The greatest damage of lashon harah is to the one who speaks it. For in speaking and examining others and the world in a negative critical light, one trains oneself to becoming a negative person. And there is no greater damage that one can cause to himself then that.

Miriam was punished not because she hurt or harmed Moshe. Moshe was the humblest of all men. It was because she bred negativity and death within herself. Tzora’as was just the natural reaction to the “spiritual poison” she had bred inside of herself- as spiritually natural as a poison ivy rash is when ones body comes in contact with it. The Spies in the same vein should have learned it makes no difference if we are speaking about a person or a land or the food on your dinner plate, it is the perspective of viewing things with the eyes of lashon harah that leads to destruction.

 The counter force to Lashon Harah is an Ayin Tovah, A Good Eye and that is also the perspective my grandfather always shared. “Itz vet Zein gut” “It will be good” was always on his lips. The ability to look at the world as the wonderful place that is a blessing from Hashem. The perspective that the things that may seem bad or disgusting on our plate of life is only from our jaundiced view but never inherently bad, is one that I sorely miss and that the world could surely use. May we all merit to avoid the pitfalls of negativity and lashon harah and rectify the sin of our nation so long ago by seeing the positive in all that we encounter.
Have a perfect Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Mit a meisseh un mit a ligen ken men nor kinder farvigen”- With a fairy tale and with a lie you can lull only children to sleep.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/1dvw7yyK1As  Atlanta Boy’s Choir with my nephew Yakov Golding (can you spot him?-hint he’s the one that kisses the mezuza J))

https://youtu.be/sCnC2IxemS4  – Rocking song and cool video Netanel and Sruli Ahavat Chinam

https://youtu.be/iuBSvMFpR-s New Shewekey video and song At Times Square I am Alive

https://youtu.be/e6aZwSApTmI  - And a Neieh Shmili Ungar song as well. Kilini!

https://www.aish.com/j/jt/Jtube-Frasier-Lashon-Hara.html- and for those of you Frasier fans- the perils of Lashon Harah at the office

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q  A period named after the use of metal:
A. Paleolithic
B. Neolithic
C. Chalcolithic
D. Holocene

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Shelach– Ahhh, there’s nothing like a good lomdushe question. A diyuk, a troubling word that needs explanation. If you notice one while you’re learning, stop and write it down. Come back to it another time, or maybe someone else will. Regardless. Lomdus isn’t only the answers. It’s the question and diyuk as well.

This week the great 19th century sage the Malbim writes a question and it is fascinating to see how it has been answered over the next century by two other great sages and lamdanim; The Shagas Aryeh and Reb Yehoshuah Leib Diskin- the Rav of Brisk. The question he notes is that the Torah tells us the story of the person who violated the Shabbos- the Mekoshesh- by gathering in sticks who was ultimately put to death. The story is introduced by a seemingly extraneous fact.

Bamidbar (15:32) And the children of Israel were in the wilderness and they found a man gathering wood on the day of Shabbos.

The Malbim notes that it seems to be obvious that they were in the wilderness. All 40 years they were only in the wilderness. Why does it start off this story telling us this? See, that’s the diyuk. The Shaagas Aryeh who was asked this question responded. That there is an opinion in the Talmud that the sin of the Mekoshesh was that he carried in a public domain which is forbidden on Shabbos. The problem is the Talmud notes earlier that a midbar- wilderness which is a place that is uninhabited is not considered a public domain. The Talmud however answers when the Jewish people were there then it is considered a public domain. Aha! If that’s the case, then we understand the reason why the Torah introduces the story with the Children of Israel being in the wilderness. For it is only when they are there that it has that status.

Reb Yehoshua Leib however asks that the answer of the Shaagas Aryeh only works according to the opinion that the sin of the Mekoshesh was carrying in public. However, there is another opinion that he was cutting wood on Shabbos. If that was the case, then why is it necessary to introduce with the idea that the Jews were in the midbar? He answers that the truth is one has an even more important question- See lamdanim and Jews do that in general; answer a question with a question. Where did they get wood in the midbar from? It’s a wilderness not a place of forests and trees?

He answers that the midrash tells us Hashem made them grow special to give the Jewish people a beautiful experience as they wandered through the wilderness. It grew when they came and disappeared when they moved. If that is the case, then perhaps one would not be biblically obligated for cutting them on Shabbos. They are not natural gidulei karka- trees that grow from the ground. They are miraculous trees. On that he answers that the Talmud tells us that when the Jews were living there they have the status as being permanent homes and the trees would as well have a status of regular trees. Once again, now we can understand why the Torah needs, even according to this opinion, to introduce the entire story with the header that “The children of Israel were in the wilderness.” Because they were there the trees were considered permanent and thus cutting them on Shabbos became a violation. A little diyuk and over a century of lomdus! Amazing and inspiring…

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Division of the Land –Tribe of Dan 1265 BC – We are almost done with the 12 tribes and their portion in Israel. This week we finish up dividing the land with the last tribe of Dan. (Although next week we will really conclude with the biblical cities of Levi.) Now although last, it doesn’t seem to be that they lost out much. In fact the Gush Dan area is the most populated portion of Israel today. As well they had cities in the Shefela and even ultimately up North as well.

The coastal border is right in the center south of Tel Aviv near Palmachim and up to Hertzelia., basically the Yarkon river to the Nachal Sorek downriver. The navi names cities that are there until today. Bnai Brak. Yaffo, Ayalon (like the highway) Yahud and Gat Rimon.  The City of Beit Shemesh was theirs as were the surrounding villages Tzora’a and Eshtaoel. As well it included Shalavim and even Kiryat Yearim today’s Telshe Stone.

Now Dan was not successful in conquering all his area and therefore later on in the book of Shoftim we will discuss how he moved up North. The entire Tel Dan area was his tribe’s ultimate city where they spent most of their time. Yet it is pretty incredible that this last tribe to be listed, and the one that never really got their proper biblical portions because of the constant fights with the Philistines. is in fact the first area that really developed in the mass return of the Jewish people to the land of Israel as the various Aliya’s settled in Yaffo and Tel Aviv areas. The ingathering of all the tribes that is the legacy and blessing of Dan!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  YENTA JOKES OF THE WEEK

The Rabbi the Priest and the Minister are on a fishing trip. The Priest says "Since we are alone here with God, perhaps we can tell our greatest sins. This would relieve us and perhaps allow us to overcome our mistakes."
The other two agree, and the minister begins "I'm an alcoholic. Every Sunday, I look forward to the end of the sermon to go and drink my bottle of whiskey."
The Priest then says "I love women. Every Sunday, I look forward to the end of Mass to flirt with this pretty congregant in the front row."
The Rabbi’s turn came and he said "I love gossip. And this Shabbos, I can’t wait to get back to town... 

The Shul ladies club used to sit together every evening in a park and talk nonstop. One day they were sitting very very quietly. Rabbi Bernstien who would walk past the noisy group every day was surprised to see them all so quiet. He inquired about this to which they replied, "You see, today all of us showed up, so we don't know who to gossip about."

You heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it… OY…

The new mailman is delivering a registered parcel and needs a signature so he rings the doorbell. Sadie sticks her head out of the bedroom window and says, "Nu, what is it?"
"I have a registered parcel for Mrs. Levy," he replies.
"Is it wrapped in fancy gift paper or just plain brown paper?" Sadie asks.
"Ordinary brown paper, madam," he replies.
"So who is it from?" Sadie asks.
"It's from Macy's department store," he replies.
"Does it say from which branch?" Sadie asks.
"Yes, madam," he replies, "it's from Main Street."
"Does it say what's in it?" Sadie asks.
"It says it's from their Cooking ware department," he replies. "Will you now come down and sign for it, please."
"Sorry," replies Sadie, "I can't do that."
"Why not?" he asks.
"Because," Sadie replies, "I'm Sadie Cohen. Mrs. Levy lives next door."!

JEWISH MOTHERS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE
MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“This you call a smile, after all the money your father and I spent on
braces?”
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still should have written!”
MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Why can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you know how hard
it is to get this junk off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“All right, if you’re not hiding your report card inside your jacket,
take your hand out of there and show me!”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Again with the hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other
kids?”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss
your allowance good-bye!”
THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now
turn it off and go to sleep!”
PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man,midnightis long
past your curfew!”
And then this one, who really did have a Jewish mother:
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior photo! Couldn’t you have done something
about your hair?”
************
Answer is C–  Yup, becoming a tour guide in Israel entails learning about the “pre-historic” periods as well. This one was pretty easy. Because I actually knew that calcolithic meant the copper era which of course is one of the three metals (Broze and Iron age being the other ones). Neo-means New so that’s the Neolithic. Paleo is stone. Holocene I still have no clue what it is and that’s even after checking out my friend Wikipedia some climate era or something. Who really cares? The only reason I even know the calcolithic is because we went for an unforgettable 5 hour hike to the top of ein gedi to see their farshtunkeh temple there, which is pretty much a pile of rocks in a circle. That’s something you don’t forget. The hike I mean.. not the temple. So the score is Schwartz 26 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Short and Sweet- Parshat Naaso and Behaloscha 5779/ 2019


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
June 14th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 36-11th of Sivan 5779

Parshat Naso/ Behaloscha
Short and Sweet

It was a radical change for me. It was a radical change for me. See, in Seattle most of my shul did not read Hebrew. I would encourage them to daven in English while I read the prayers out loud in Hebrew. Davening wasn’t meant to be their Hebrew reading practicing time, rather it was meant to be their conversation with Hashem and thus should be in the language they understood. Now I used to intersperse our Shabbos morning service with explanations. Each Shabbos and throughout the davening I would stop and talk about different parts of the tefilla. The blessings, the different psalms, Shema, the structure and of course the main silent amida. It was interactive. It made the teffila more meaningful and it challenged me to find new insights and ideas into the prayers I had been reciting since youth but sadly never really appreciated the depth that can and should be found in them. It was one of the main reasons I got into the field of Jewish outreach work in the first place. To make my yiddishkeit more real, more inspirational and truthfully more holy. There’s nothing like a few newbies drinking it all in to give you a sense that we truly have something special.

Now I’m generally a fast davener. The words just flow out as soon as I take my three steps back and forward and shift into gear. I’m talking to Hashem and frankly I’m a fast talker. As well I found when I was back in yeshiva and would shlep my davening out really long in order to look really cool and yeshivish- it isn’t amazing what yeshiva guys think is cool? Well I would find that I generally spaced out and was thinking about my upcoming exams, how I was going to get out of shiur or just where I was going to go out for dinner. Because it was Wednesday night and they were serving that old macaroni again, and Carvel had a buy one get one free sundae on Wednesdays. Now I would usually go with Rechnitz but he wasn’t feeling well, I didn’t see him by lunch. But maybe he was just cutting out of the exams that we had. So maybe I can go with Goldberg or Bassman….hmmm… Modim anachnu lach- bow down. Oops I’m in middle of Shemona esrey. See what I mean.

As I got older, I became more focused on just talking to Hashem. Saying the words of the prayer that I knew by heart and actually saying them and pretty much only them to Hashem. No extra thoughts, no space-outs, no ice cream. The trick I found was speed. If I was standing or drifting too much, I would lose it. This worked out well in my Seattle shul because they were reading in english and I didn’t want to lose them either by having them wait for me. We were all happy. We all talked to Hashem and then we had chulent.

Upon moving to Israel and starting my shul here though it was a decidedly different type of congregation. Almost all of my congregants were religious and davening for years. Many of them were yeshiva graduates and black hat Kollel guys. They had loooong Shmona esrey amidas like most yeshiva guys do. After a few weeks it became patently obvious that there was a problem with the Rabbi- namely-“moui”. Because rather than what happens in most shuls where the congregation waits for the Rabbi to finish praying before continuing with the repetition of the amida, I was waiting for everyone else. I remember calling up my Rebbe and telling him how awkward it was being the first to finish. He reassured me that I wasn’t the first one. I had good company. No less than Reb Chaim Brisker had the same problem.

It seems, he told me, that Reb Chaim also used to daven pretty quickly. Upon receiving his first rabbinic position his congregants began to complain. "What type of Rabbi do we have,who finishes davening so fast.?!" One of his backers on the board decided to try to preempt the problem and sat down with the Rav and told him what the problem was. The congregants were disappointed that the Rav finished davening so quick. It doesn’t look right. The Rabbi should be praying longer than the congregants not shorter. Reb Chaim asked the friend what he should do. After all, he said the prayers, he was done.There was nothing left to say. What does he want from him? The friend hesitantly suggested that perhaps the Rav would just remain standing in one place, as if he were still davening , perhaps he could be thinking about a Rambam or something else in learning during that time and then take his steps back a few minutes later. Rav Chaim looked at him and smiled. “I’m already doing that…” he said. Boom!

Now I don’t know if it’s a true story or not. But it certainly made me feel a whole lot better. If it could work for Reb Chaim then although I’m certainly nowhere near that great giant’s level and I’m sure that he accomplished more in his short prayer and had more kavana and connection with Hashem than I will ever have on my deepest Yom Kippur tefilla. But if he could get away with it with his baalei batim /congregants than I could mine as well.

The truth of the matter though there is something to be said for short and sweet prayers. Our sages tell us

Shulchan Aruch OC (1:4) tov me’at im kavana mei’harbos b’lo kavana-  

It is better to have a little bit of supplications with intent and concentration than a lot without intent and concentration. This is even a law that is brought in Shulchan Aruch- the code of Jewish Law and the Taz even suggests that too much prayer can actually be a reason why he might have less kavana.
But even prior to the Shulchan Aruch we find this concept. We find it in last week’s Torah portion of Naso- for those of us in Israel and this week’s Torah portion of Behaloscha. At least according to the brilliant insight of the Ksav Sofer and with it perhaps an even deeper idea as to why one should perhaps focus more upon the succinctness of their prayer rather than trying to pack in as much as you can.

In Parshat Naso we are given the mitzva of the blessing of the Kohanim. In Israel we get to hear that every single day and twice on Shabbos! It’s awesome and worthwhile to move her just for that blessing. The Torah tells us Hashem commands Moshe to tell Aharon and his children

Bamidbar (6:23-28) This is how you shall bless the children of Israel, saying to them: "May Hashem bless you and watch over you.
May Hashem cause His countenance to shine to you and favor you.
May Hashem raise His countenance toward you and grant you peace.
"They shall bestow My Name upon the children of Israel, so that I will bless them.

 It’s a holy blessing. The perfect blessing …After all Hashem Himself created it for us. Yet… I don’t know about you, but most people probably wouldn’t mind Hashem throwing in a line or two about some “real” things. Maybe that I should have a good living? Maybe that I should marry off my children? How about health, or wisdom?I mean don’t’ get me wrong. I have nothing against favor, peace and countenance (whatever that is… it sounds good). But I’ve got some real things I could use as well. Once Hashem is commanding the Kohanim to give us a blessing, what’s wrong with them asking us what our problems are and then having them bless us based on our needs?

He answers incredibly with a powerful Midrash. It says the Jewish people upon hearing this commandment for the Kohanim told Hashem, just the opposite. They said

“You have commanded the Kohanim to bless. All we need is Your blessing and from Your mouth…”

 Hashem responded and told them

“Fear not, even though I told the Kohanim to bless you I will stand with them and bless you.”

 The Ksav Sofer explains that the Jewish people understood that despite the fact that the Kohanim might bless them even for their particular personal needs, but ultimately Hashem is the only one that really knows what is right for me. Maybe it would be a terrible thing for me to be rich. Maybe it is the right time for me to get married, to have children or even to be healed from my illness. Maybe I am going through whatever challenges I have because that is precisely what is right and even better for me. I want Hashem to bless me. All we really need is what He determines is best for us. Hashem answers and tell the Jewish people, "don’t worry it will be me giving the blessing." Their blessing- their words are only there to rest My presence upon you. But ultimately your blessing will come from Me.
In an almost identical idea he explains Moshe’s prayer for Miriam his sister who was stricken by leprosy. Moshe prays for her to be healed in the shortest prayer in the Torah

Bamidbar (12:13) Kel na refah na lah- Please Hashem heal her”

That’s it. Four words. Talk about a short Shmona Esrei… Rashi on the spot notes the brevity of Moshe’s tefilla and comments

Why did Moshe not pray at length? In order that the Children of Israel should not say ‘His sister is in distress and he stands and prays a great deal’

 Talk about bad, kvetchy, fault-finding congregants? The man’s sister is sick and you begrudge him a long prayer on her behalf?! How could anyone blame him for praying long and hard for her healing? Answers the Ksav Sofer that the meaning of Rashi is quite the opposite. See, really all one needs to do is have a short prayer; quick and short to the point. You know what you would want and need. Ask Hashem for it and you're good to go. A long prayer really just shows a lack of faith, as if I am trying to direct Hashem to do what I think is right for me. Alternatively, the Talmud tells us that sometimes it is appropriate to think a lot during prayer and that is for someone that you are not so close with.

 “A person who is praying for his friend should pray until he gets sick over him.”

 To ask Hashem on behalf of someone else one needs to feel the pain and trouble that the person they are praying for is in. You have entirely feel as if you are the one that is sick. You need the healing hand of Hashem. You need to empathize entirely and then turn to God. But that is only necessary for someone you’re not close with.

 If Moshe would’ve prayed for a long time for his sister, it would’ve been a desecration of Hashem’s name, the Ksav Sofer is suggesting Rashi is saying. The people would’ve said, why does he need so long to pray for her. She’s his sister. He should be able to empathize right away. He should be feeling her pain immediately and quickly telling Hashem to heal her. Perhaps he has a grudge against her. Perhaps he was offended. Maybe he’s not so close to her as he should be. Therefore Moshe davened a short prayer. He didn’t have any ill will against his sister. He felt her pain and he understood that proper prayer is short and concise without any need to tell Hashem how to do His job.

 Reb Chaim Kanievsky is one of the greatest Rabbis of our times. There are people that come from him from all over the world for his blessings and to ask for his prayers on their behalf. The multitude of stories about his incredible power of saying just a few words and boom they are always on target are way too many to chalk off to legend. The man is connected upstairs and the things that he says and the blessings he gives happen. But what is fascinating and pretty frustrating to most people that go to him is that his entire blessing or prayer never consists of more than a few words. His most common blessing is not even a word, it’s just an acronym of 2 words. BooHa which stands for bracha v’hatzlacha-blessing and success. I always joked that when I get to that level I’m just going to say Boo! But Reb Chaim is no joking matter.

 Most people understand that the reason he so concise is because he doesn’t want to disturb himself from his learning Torah which he is constantly studying. And that’s definitely true. But I believe that Reb Chaim if he felt it was necessary would disturb his Torah for hours to help and to do anything for another Jew. Rather, it is because Reb Chaim understands the lesson and secret of the Ksav Sofer, of what prayer and blessing is all about. Less is more when it comes to davening. Don’t elaborate on the blessing, make it as simple as possible. Let Hashem stand next to that simple blessing and may He be the one to bless you with what is right. Telling Him what to do detracts from what is right. All you need is a little BooHa and you’re in good hands.

 Yet, people still try to tell Reb Chaim a little more. They still grab his hand try to explain fruitlessly what they really want. It usually doesn’t help. And perhaps it doesn’t help in our own prayers as well. I know I could get in trouble for this idea, but hey, this is not a weekly publicly read magazine J. It’s just us friends here I don’t have to be as politically correct J. But it’s something to think about when we daven. Perhaps just focus a bit more on the words our Rabbis told us to say and leave out all of the extra thoughts and ideas we feel we need to give to Hashem when we daven. A little with concentration could be more. Good be tov. Now if only I can figure out how to make these E-Mails shorter as well….sigh….
Have a SS or a GS J,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

**********************************************************

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Ess, bench, zei a mensch!” Eat. Bentch and be a mentch!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q A river which was cleaned and became a tour site:
A. Nahal Alexander
B. Nahal Yagur
C. Nahal Kidron
D. Nahal David

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYz4Eb3f2Ro Best Song Ever!! I Believe Rabbi Mordechai Dubin you will play this a hundred times and it will never leave your mind again!

https://youtu.be/JN5AVdAzmzU    New Mordechai Shapiro song Hakol Mishamayim

https://youtu.be/26gxetMRuvU New Meileich Kohn song Moshchani arranged by my buddy Yitz Berry!

https://youtu.be/WhxcSxDgtHI – And another Yitz Berry arrangement Avraham Fried’s newest song Abba!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/yesimcha  In honor of the priestly blessing My own Rabbi Schwartz incredible gorgeous composition Yesimcha Elokim with the Bracha of the Kohen- like it and then Email me and tell me how much you like itJJ

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Behaloscha Lamdanim look at the Torah with a halachic eye. The Torah is not just telling us stories, there are laws that are meant to be drawn from there and if you read the narratives with that keen lomdushe glasses you can reveal fascinating insights.
In this week’s Torah portion we are told about the story of Moshe telling Hashem that he can’t handle it all. The people are just too much trouble and it’s getting too much. Hashem then tells Moshe not to worry and he orders him to gather the 70 elders into the Ohelm Moed- the Tent of gathering by the Mishkan and Hashem will increase Moshe’s prophecy and and place it upon them and he will no longer be alone.
What happens is next is curious. The elders go and begin to prophesize there. The problem is that two of them Eldad and Meidad stayed behind. They didn’t feel they were worthy enough. Well, it seems that it didn’t help them too much because Hashem’s spirit rested upon them there in the camp and boom they started prophesizing as well in the camp. What was their prophecy? “Moshe will die and Yehoshua will bring us into Israel”. Ouch!
Now Yehoshua wasn’t so happy with this so he went running to tell Moshe. Hey, the boys are prohecizing in the camp. “Make an end of them!” Moshe however benevolently responds Are you being jealous for me Would that eniter nation of Hashem could be prophets if Hashem passes his spirit on them.
So that’s the story. Lets’ examine it with Halachic eyes.
What was Yehoshua’s problem and what was Moshe’s response. Was it wrong for them to prophecize? Reb Chaim Brisker says that seemingly the law is that one is not allowed to withhold prophecy. There is a law that if someone has a prophecy he is obligated to say it. In fact if he doesn’t’ he could be punished. So what did Yehoshua want them to do. If that’s what the prophecy was how can he be upset for them saying it?

Now you can’t say that the prophecy wasn’t real, because the Torah tells us that Hashem rested His spirit upon them and even Moshe recognized it was for real. Seemingly that’s what Moshe tells him, what does he mean are you being zealous on my behalf. What’s up?

Reb Chaim answers that if you read the story carefully Hashem certainly gave them the prophecy and they were obligated to say it, however Hashem specifically told them it was meant to be given over in the Tent of the Gathering. It wasn’t a prophecy that was meant to be said in the camp to the masses. That being the case the fact that they did say it over in the camp was not a fulfillment of their mitzva to recite the prophecy that was given to them and it was an affront to the honor of Moshe. They could’ve fulfilled their obligation to recite the prophecy in the Tent where it was meant to be given. And thus Yehoshua was upset on behalf of the honor of Moshe that was slighted by their revealing the prophecy that Moshe would not bring the Jews into Israel in the camp.

Moshe told him though that the law is that a Rabbi is permitted to forgive a slight to his honor. And therefore since he took no offense there was no problem with them reciting the prophecy in the camp. Pretty eye-opening, isn’t it? The laws of prophets, the laws of honouring your Rabbi and his ability to forgive. That’s the way a lamdan learns!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Division of the Land –Tribe of Naftali 1265 BC – And now for my home-area and favourite part of Israel, the portion of Naftali. In the Torah one of the views that Moshe saw from Mt. Nevo into Israel was the Eretz Naftali- the land of Naftali, which is not only the entire Upper Galile and much of the Lower Galil but it also includes the Galile Panhandle up to in middle of Lebanon and even across the Jordan river into what is today the Golan. They even got the Kinneret. Not a bad deal at all!

The cities mentioned that belonged to Naftali have many of the names of cities there today. There is Yavni’el, Tavor, Chakuk, They have Chamat which is where the Chamei Tiverya- the hot springs are located today. In the Etzba Hagalil they have the cities of Kadesh and Chatzor. They even mention the city of Beit Shemesh, which is obviously not the same Beit Shemesh as in the Shfela but rather archaeologists suggest that it may be where Madj El Shams in the Golan might have gotten its name from. Of course as well the Kinneret is mentioned.

I always like to point out to my tourists when we head up the road to Meron we pass by two settlements Amirim and Shefer. Where do those names come from? In fact they are part of the blessing of Yaakov to Naftali –

Ayala Shlucha Hanosein Imrei Shefer- He is like a swift ram who’s words are beautiful

The villages Amirim and Shefer come from that blessing. Imrei Shefer. And thus you know that you are in the portion of Naftali. It’s cool in Israel that way figuring out the connections to the tribes by the names of the cities or villages in that area. Everything here has meaning, even the names of our cities and towns. Biblical meaning of course.


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S  JEWISH JOKES OF THE WEEK

Rabbi Greenberg was known for his lengthy sermons, noticed Berel get up and leave during the middle of his speech. Berel returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the Rabbi asked him where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the Rabbi, "why didn't you do that before the service?"
"Because," Berel said, "I didn't need one then."

Rabbi Rosenberg was in the midst of one of his infamous lengthy sermons when all of the sudden, a large plant fell over right behind the pulpit, crashing to the ground.
Rabbi Rosenberg turned around to see what transpired, then turned back to the congregation, smiled sheepishly and said, "Well, that’s the first time I put a plant to sleep."

A Rabbi, a cantor, and a synagogue president were driving to a seminar when they were kidnapped. The highjackers asked the three of them to hand over all of their money and jewellery. When they replied that they hadn't any, the hijackers told them that immediately after their last wishes were fulfilled, they would be killed.

"My last wish," began the Rabbi, is to give a fascinating, complicated, long sermon that I have always wanted to but never been allowed to give."

"We will grant your wish," the hijackers replied.

"My last wish," said the cantor, "is to sing a beautiful, Yemenite style song, one of my own compositions lasting two hours. I have never been allowed to sing it."

"We'll let you sing it," replied the hijackers.

"What is your last wish," the hijackers asked the shul president.

"Please, please shoot me now."

 After a performance a cantor - trying to impress- tells the crowd that his voice is insured with Lloyds of London for 1 million dollars. A voice from the back of the room says "so what did you do with the money?"

 A Rabbi recounted this story: With all the instant messaging and texting lingo going around - with abbreviations like "LOL" and "OMG" and "BTW" - I asked a young lady named Baila if she would be going to shul this Shabbat, and she replied to me "JFK." 
"JFK? What does that mean?", I asked.
Baila answered politely, "Just for Kiddush.

A Rabbi was giving a speech and as Rabbis sometimes do, kept going on and on, and after going way over time he stopped and realized and he apologized saying "I'm sorry, I left my watch at home". One disrespectful guy in the crowd yelled, "But Rabbi, you have a calendar right in front of you!"

Yankel listened to the Rebbe at shul one Shabboss morning and when the Rebbe asked those with special requests to come to him at Seuda Shlisheet/(3rd meal) , Yankel came.
When it was his turn, Yankel sat down and the Rebbe asked, "What do you want me to help you with?"
Yankel said, "Pray for my hearing, Rebbe."
The Rebbe put one hand over Yankel's ear and his other hand on top of his head and prayed a while.
Then he removed his hands and asked, "Yankel, how is your hearing now?"
Yankel answered, "I don't know, Rebbe. It's next Wednesday at the courthouse!"
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Answer is A–  I got this one right as well. Not that I remembered it from my course, but rather because I remembered the question from one of the previous tests that I studied. I probably could have deducted it though. David it certainly wasn’t because it was always opened. Kidron, which flows down from Jerusalem to the Dead Sea is still pretty polluted and I remember them telling us that. I don’t know much about Yagur besides that its an intersection that I used to turn off of to stay on the 70 by Yokenea’am to get home to Karmiel. But Alexander sounded would have been my guess if I had to guess and it is the right answer. It actually won the international River award for cleaning it up in 2003. Incidentally in  a recent study they found there are more than 50 million pollutants that still remain in the river. So you decide if you want to go swimming there. So the score is Schwartz 25 and 6 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.