from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
November
28th 2014 -Volume
5, Issue 6 -6th of Kislev 5775
(Please check out the video clip of the song I composed in memory of
the martyrs of Har nof Massacre below in this E-Mail)
Parshat Vayeitzei
Beautiful Women
David
was a young man who had become more religious in recent years. He had studied
in Yeshiva in Israel and was now back in the States where he was going to
college and trying to make a living to pay his bills which without much
parental support was becoming more and more difficult. His parents had offered
him to live at home with them, but he knew that Kosher, Shabbat and all the
nuances of his observant lifestyle would be too challenging for him to keep
there. His parents wouldn't understand, although they respected him, and he
felt that he would have a better relationship with them and a fuller religious life
in the lower East Side close to his beloved teacher, one of the
leaders of
Torah Jewry at the time Rabbi Moshe Feinstien.
But
real estate and rental prices aren't cheap in Manhattan. And after weeks of exhausting,
frustrating
searches David was having a hard time finding a place. Finally he
saw an ad in the local paper for someone looking for a roommate, or more
correctly for a situation that offered a free living arrangement. When he
called the number to find out what the scoop was, however he wasn't too hopeful
it was something that he was able to do. The offer that was being made was for
him to share an apartment with an elderly Jewish woman. Although she had full
time day aides that would spend time with her, her children wanted to have
someone with her at night time as well. Being as "Sadie" refused to
be put into any type of nursing home, the only feasible solution was to find a
young man that would be willing to sleep over and share her Apartment which
they would offer for free. For someone like
David, that didn't have any real social life or needs as he was in school and
had not started Shiduch dating anyways this seemed like a perfect situation.
Except….
Except….Except
for one little Jewish law. For David recalled learning in Yeshiva that it was
forbidden by Jewish Law for a man to be secluded with a woman who he is not married
to or is his close relative for any significant period of time. Certainly David
was not that concerened of "anything" ever happening between Sadie
and himself, Yet a law is a law and a Mitzva is a Mitzva and as far as he was
aware there really was no exceptions to the rule, barring of course life and
death situations. On the other hand, maybe this situation was different.
Perhaps since this was more of a Rabbinic rather than Biblical law there was
more "wiggle" room. After- all she was older, he was in a tight
financial spot. This would really help
him live a better religious lifestyle. It was after-all right around the corner
from his Yeshiva and Synagogue. The Yetzer Harah is really good at this game
and David realized that he needed to seek guidance from his Rebbe, although he
wasn't too hopeful. After-all a law is a law regardless if it makes sense or
not. Isn't that true?
So
David headed over to his Rebbe's house to pose the question to his Rebbe. He
began his question with the disclaimer that
"I know that this is probably
forbidden..but I just wanted to check with Rebbe to see if maybe in this
situation it would be alright…"
His
Rebbe though taught him a lesson though that remained with him for the rest of
his life.
"I'm
sorry Duvid'l" Reb Moshe said "It
is prohibited for you to be together with her. They can find a nice young woman
to watch over her or she could be placed in a home with full time help, or
perhaps even best of all is the family themselves can take turns watching over
her. You however cannot."
And
then when Reb Moshe seeing the young man's still questioning eyes taught him
the lesson that would remain with him forever.
"Duvid'l
remember it doesn’t' make a difference how old someone is a Jewish woman never
loses her beauty… A Jewish woman never loses her beauty…"
David
found another apartment. He married a nice Jewish woman a few months later and
today he is a grandfather himself with a still beautiful Jewish wife. Not a day
goes by that he doesn't appreciate her and not a day that he doesn’t' pass down
that message to his children as they begin to build their homes. A Jewish woman
never loses her beauty. A law is a law.
In
this week's Torah portion we are introduced to the last of our Matriarchs;
Rachel and Leah (and their hand-maidens Bilha and Zilpa) from whom the entire
Jewish people are born. So much time and commentary is spent in the book of
Genesis/Bereshis discussing and examining the lives of our forefathers and
their trials and challenges and many times the extraordinary personalities and
the lives of our Matriarch is glossed over. Yet it is truly this great and
beautiful women who more often than not get the sole credit for defining and
creating the essence of the Jewish people. Each one of our Matriarchs were
different, as each one of our Patriarchs were and each one of them possessed unique
qualities that formed our eternal Nation's spiritual DNA, yet one common theme
encompasses all of them; a sense of commitment and personal sacrifice for their
children, their family and their Jewish home.
Sarah,
our first Matriarch, has perhaps one of the most challenging lives imaginable.
Orphaned as her father is killed by the wicked king Nimrod she marries her uncle
Avraham and together with him create the first Jewish outreach center in the
world. Now I can tell you from personal experience that there is not too many
things more exciting and fulfilling than having a home where people can come
and spend Shabbat meals and are introduced to the beauty of Judaism. I get to
give classes, people are excited and inspiration fills the air. But for the Jewish
wife who has to cook meals, clean-up and have her house turned into a free for
all for anyone her husband decides to bring home on any particular day from
shul it's not always so easy. Particularly if you are living in a tent and especially
if your husband is Avraham who didn't meet a person, isolator, pagan, vagrant, traveler
who he didn't think could use a nice good bowl of hot soup and who’s soul he
didn't feel he had to reach out to. Moving along in her life we read story
after story of how she is beset with challenges of picking up and leaving her
life and community that she had spent decades building to wander into some foreign
land; one of the most idiolatrous and pagan societies in the world; Canaan. For
Avraham, this came from a command from above with blessings and promise of
children and greatness. For Sarah this was faith in her husband and in Hashem.
When
they arrive in the new country, they are beset with famines which make them
leave the land again and again where she is beset with even greater challenges.
She lies about her marital status to protect her husband and is given over to
despot kings who, but for the hand of Hashem, would have defiled her. Even in
the land of Israel, she still does not see the promise of children yet in order
to build the Jewish home she is willing to give her husband her own hand maiden
so that at least he may produce an heir. When she finally has her son Yitzchak,
she is forced once again to make difficult choices and even stand up to her own
husband recognizing that only with by sending away Yishmael her husband's
beloved elder son can Yitzchak become the great and pure Patriarch that he is
meant to become. Her life ends, the Torah tells us, right after Yitzchak is
taken to be bound on an altar before God. Yitzchak has achieved the level of a
Patriarch from who’s merit the Jewish people will always depend upon. Her husband
Avraham has passed his final test and achieved all that he was meant to. Her
life is complete, and she dies as the first Jewish Matriarch who instilled in
all the Jewish mothers that would follow the commitment to doing whatever it
would take for their children and their family. That, my friends is beauty.
Rivka,
our second Matriarch become the symbol of Jewish chesed and kindness
that is the Jewish woman that starts at even the youngest of ages as she brings
water to Eliezer, Avraham's servant, and to his camels. She as well as all of
our Matriarchs is barren for many years. And when she finally does have
children, she becomes the first Jewish mother to have to deal with perhaps one
of the greatest challenges anyone can ever have and that is the challenge and
struggle of a child that is not turning out the way and with the values that he
was meant to become and achieve. A child that becomes a thief, a murderer and
who's hatred and jealousy of his brother, her other son, reaches levels where
he his life is in danger. This is in face of the promise that Hashem had given
her that she would have two great nations. That one was meant to become
subservient to the other and through the shared special relationship between
the two forces of Yaakov and Esau the world could reach its spiritual
fulfillment. She, as her predecessor Sarah, are given a deeper level of
spiritual intuition and understanding than their husbands as to what she must
to make this family whole and create the Jewish Nation. But perhaps even
greater than Sarah, she must send away her own beloved son, a son whom she will
never see again, and she must send him to a place and to her brother who she
knows is certainly going to make life difficult if not even worse try to
destroy him, all so that he may become the great Patriarch that he is meant to
become. The final epitaph that the Torah tells us about Rivkah, that the Torah
tells us at the conclusion of last week's Torah portion is that she is the
mother of Yaakov and Esau. She was not only Yaakovs mother she was Esau's as
well; equally. If we grasp that and the tremendous sacrifices and life of a
woman that is defined by her act and personality of goodness and kindness, than
we can slowly start to comprehend that eternal beauty of our Matriarchs.
Finally
this week we are introduced to the last of the Jewish Matriarchs, Rachel the
beloved first-choice and Bashert/soul-mate of Yaakov and Leah who was meant to
marry Esau, but through her power of tear-filled prayers and her recognition
that only through Yaakov would she be able to be part of the Jewish destiny
became the fourth Matriarch and the mother of half the tribes of Israel. The
sacrifice and challenge of these two women is incomprehensible to the modern
mind. I saw an insight that explained that although we have a tradition that
our forefathers observed the entire Torah before it was given based on their
own spiritual understanding of its integral part of Creation, and the marriage
of two sisters is forbidden, Yaakov understood that Rachel and Leah were both
meant to be married to him. For although once the Torah was given it is
prohibited to violate its commandments based on one's own understanding, prior
to its being given our forefathers were able to interpret its laws. When it
comes to marrying two sisters the Torah says it is prohibited to marry them as
they will cause anguish and jealousy between one another. Yaakov knew though
that for Rachel and Leah this would never be a problem. Rachel gave her sister
Leah the special secret signs that Yaakov gave her fearful that his
father-in-law the crook Lavan might pull something like he did switching the
sisters on the wedding night. According to one Medrash she even hid in the
bedroom and spoke when Yaakov spoke to her in order that her sister not be
shamed. Each one of these Matriarch, as Sarah before them give their own
hand-maidens to their husband as wives in order to merit having more children. For
these two women Yaakov knew that there would never be any jealousy. They were
willing to give and do anything to build the nation of Israel. Mama Rachel,
Yaakov's beloved is not even buried together with him and Yaakov tells his son
years later that it is for one reason. Rachel, would never have wanted to be
buried there because she had known that she would one day be able to see her
children going into exile years later and she wanted to be buried on the route
in order to pray for them. In order to cry before our Father in Heaven for
them. In order that they may one day soon merit to build that ultimate Jewish
home and return to Israel. The beauty of our Jewish women is forever.
We
live in a world where beauty is barely skin-deep. We live in a world where so
many of our beautiful young Jewish women are challenged in finding their
soul-mates who can find that inner beauty that never fades within them. Jewish
homes become threatened and in many cases even devastated because many forget
that lesson of Reb Moshe about the eternal beauty of our spouses our holy
women. Sadly so many of our women forget that their ultimate glory and beauty
is their inner strength and fortitude and they feel the need to obscure that by
defining themselves by their externalities and their fleeting physical appeal
rather than the eternal beauty that flourishes from within. We live in a world
that we were meant to inspire and teach about the essence of relationships,
family, homes and marriage and all too often we have allowed them to influence
us. It is perhaps for this reason that it is so important that each Friday
night Shabbat evening, right before we say our Kiddush and sanctify our holiest
day each week, Jewish custom is to
recite the Aishet Chayil/ Woman of Valour psalm composed by King Solomon. The
song that was composed as an analogy about our relationship with Hashem is
utilized in its simplest form to remind us of our special relationship with our
wives, our mothers, the Jewish woman who builds our home. For without that
appreciation we can't even connect to God and to the holiness of Shabbos. To
appreciate the eternal nature of Shabbos we have to appreciate the eternal
beauty of the Jewish woman that gives us that eternity. For it is only when we
realize the beauty of our lives that we can bask in the aura of
other-worldliness that being Hashem's people truly is.
Have
a beautiful Shabbos,
Rabbi
Ephraim Schwartz
**********************************
RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S COOL YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK
On my
way home from paying a Shiva call to the parents and family of my dear friend
Aryeh Kupinshy H"YD I composed this beautiful song that captured my
feelings and emotions. I had a good friend of mine with a beautiful voice sing
it for me and make the arrangements and I put together a slideshow that depicts
the horror and grief of the terrible, painful tragedies that we have gone
through. The words are Avinu Malkeinu Asei L'Maan Harugim Al Shem Kodshecha. It
is my hope that as you watch this you offer the heartfelt prayers to our Father
in Heaven to bring the redemption already and may these be the last sacrifices
that he takes from us.
an
edited less graphic slideshow of above song and tragedy
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S FAVORITE QUOTE
OF THE WEEK
“The heart sees better than the eye"-Yiddish quote
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do
that for him."-Groucho Marx
RABBI
SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
(answer below at end of Email)
Q. An arterial tourniquet should never be applied
to the
A) Neck
B) Calf
C) Thigh
D) Arm
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL
MIDRASH OF THE WEEK
After
Yackov leaves Lavans house working for his father in law for 22 years. Lavan
pursues him looking for the idols that Rachel stole. When his search comes up
fruitless. Yackov tells him
"You
have looked through all my possesions and what have you found of all your
household goods.?"
There is
an important Medrash that says A son-in-law who lived in his father-in-laws
house and leaves it would usually be given some item or another from his
father-in-law. Who would dismiss a son-in-law empty-handed? But you Lavan have
searched all my vessels and have not found a single thread or needle that
belonged to you.
That's
it... J
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL THINGS TO DO IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Meet inspiring people – When you are visiting Israel
you are not only visiting a country you are meeting a people a nation of God.
This is a place where you can meet the most incredible people in the world.
It's a country where everyone has a story, a miracle that has happened to them,
a brother, a cousin, a friend or neighbor that they may have lost in a war
giving up their lives for the Jewish people. People that are involved in all
types of various activities of community kindness and making the world a better
place. There are great Rabbis and Rebbetzins you can and should meet that could
share with you insights and words of inspiration. Even the simplest taxi driver
in this country has a story to tell a world-view that can change your life.
Don't be shy we're all family here and while you are here take the time to get
to know them and in the process get to know yourself a little better.
******************
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S JOKE OF THE WEEK
An Israeli mayor in a small town is walking past a
construction site with his wife. One of the construction workers stops and
calls out to the woman.
"What's new, Sara?"
"Why, it's nice to see you again Avi," the woman replies. She turns to introduce her husband to the construction worker, and they speak for several minutes.
After the mayor and his wife continue on, he turns to his wife to ask how she knows him.
"Oh," she said. "We went together in high school. I even thought about marrying him."
The husband began to laugh. "You don't realize how lucky you are. If I hadn't come along, today you would be the wife of a construction worker!"
The wife replied without hesitation, "Not really. If I had married him, he'd now be a mayor!"
"What's new, Sara?"
"Why, it's nice to see you again Avi," the woman replies. She turns to introduce her husband to the construction worker, and they speak for several minutes.
After the mayor and his wife continue on, he turns to his wife to ask how she knows him.
"Oh," she said. "We went together in high school. I even thought about marrying him."
The husband began to laugh. "You don't realize how lucky you are. If I hadn't come along, today you would be the wife of a construction worker!"
The wife replied without hesitation, "Not really. If I had married him, he'd now be a mayor!"
*************************************************************
Answer
is A: Yes we Tour guides have to learn 1st aid as well,
although Baruch Hashem I have never needed to use it. CPR, what to do in case
of animal bites, breaks, electrocution and in Israel in case of God forbid
terror attacks. Being a professional lifeguard helps as well. Although having a
gun is not a requirement, many guides to carry one. I personally don't. I
figure any place I might need a gun I'm not taking people and if I do I'd rather
have soldiers around. I think everyone will be safer that way. A tourniquet is a solution by the way for
only arm and leg injuries. You do not want to try strangling a guy with
one…don't think you need first aide for that.
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