Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
October 11th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 53 12th Tishrei 5780
Parshat Haazinu/ Sukkot
I-Clouds
So last week the camera on my iPhone started playing games with me. I
was getting “black-screened”; a new term I learned when I started desperately
googling solutions. None of them by the way work. I found that there are a few
sites with 5 or 7 “easy solutions” to any problem you have with your phone. So
you try one and it doesn’t work, the next one doesn’t either. After about an
hour or so of their “easy solutions” the last one is download-our-easy-to-use
software from fixmyphone.com, or dr.ezfix.com or some other silly name. This
will definitely fix your problem. You download this software and you use it and
then they tell you that you have to buy it for just 29.95 or you can get the
special life time warranty version for 49.99.
At this point they are hoping they wore you out enough to just buy the
stupid software. I wouldn’t know if it fixes it or not. I was just too angry to
give them a penny or shekel after wasting all my time. So my phone is still
broken.
Now this is a problem for me. I use my camera on my phone a lot. I like
to take pictures of my tourists for them. It helps me remember them as well. I
know everyone remembers me. They stop me in the street all the time when they
come back here. But Thank God I take so many people it is really hard to keep
track. So I need some pictures. As well I find a camera is a good tool to keep kvetchy
kids quiet. See if they are making a lot of noise whining, all I have to do
is point the camera at them and tell them that they are being videoed and the “kvetchy-kid-in-the-
back-seat-of-the-car” may be the next big viral hit. All of a sudden the kvetching
stops, the fighting with their siblings is over, they even start to smile.
It’s not only my camera that is messed up. It’s my flashlight as well.
Which is also pretty essential when I take people into bunkers or caves to shine
some light. Or even too look under things to find the stuff that my grandson
may have hidden from me. Yeah I need this thing fixed.
Now interestingly enough the selfie function works and the camera itself
even works sometimes when I take a picture in facetime. But I’m not a big
selfie person. I really haven’t mastered the art yet of stretching my arm all
the way out and getting everyone including myself in the frame. Those pictures
are usually slanted at an angle and my face is all squirreled up trying to get
my big cheeks into the picture. As well I don’t really facetime much either. I
don’t really understand why anyone would? What happened to the good old days
when I we can talk on the phone and I can be writing my E-Mail while saying uhh
huhh every few minutes so you think I’m paying attention to you? Video chats
are putting me behind schedule.
So this camera thing has been on my mind all week. I don’t want to do an
“update”, although I think I have no choice. I think the updates just break
your phone. It’s a scam from Apple to stick bugs in your phone that leave you
no choice but to buy their newest model. But I know if I take it into a store
they will probably do the update thing anyways, so I’m pretty much messed up.
Now although this was taking up a lot of my thoughts the past few days.
There was one day I didn’t think about it at all. Which is really a shame. See
this past Tuesday evening and Wednesday were Yom Kippur. I was in shul and
talking to Hashem all day long. I asked Him for a lot of big deal things. I
asked Him to seal me in the book of long life. I asked Him to forgive a really
really huuuuge (as Donald Trump would say) laundry list of sins. I asked Him to
make me holier. To heal a lot of people that need a real refuah shlaima.
I asked Him to provide me with parnassa//livelihood. Actually I asked that
for a lot of people. I asked that my children should be well. They should
continue to give me nachas. Give us nachas. I davened for my
wife. That the two of us should have continued peace and harmony and grow
closer and appreciate each other more and more each day. I davened for my
parents that I should finally perhaps give them some nachas. That they
should live long and be well. Yeah. It was a busy day. But after the fast was
over and I pulled out my phone, I realized that I forgot to ask Hashem to fix
the camera on my phone. In fact, I realized that I didn’t even think about this
huge “black screen” camera crisis once. What a shame. I’m sure He could’ve fixed it in no time. Now
how could I have left that out?
The truth is that as I looked at this silly little candy bar shaped cube
of wires and screen that dominates my life, I realized how unimportant it
really is in the big picture (pun intended) of life. When I sat before Hashem
and davened for hours, really hours and hours, I tried to think of everything
and everyone that was and is important. All of my requests all of my hopes and
wishes. Even small petty ones and even prayers for people that I only
marginally know or some I may not even know personally. But this little phone
that I certainly spend more time with then probably anything else in the world.
It’s my communication device, my GPS, my music, my shiurim, my email, my
information, my whatsapp groups, my news source. But you know what? Didn’t
think about it or pray for it once. Maybe it’s not so important after-all.
Maybe its time I start spending more time realizing all of those other
priorities that I davened so hard to receive. Maybe I leave my phone broken for
a little bit longer…
Well the good news is that Hashem in His ultimate wisdom has given us
the holiday of Sukkos this week. It’s like really crazy the way it falls out.
There’s really no breathing time. We jumped from Shabbos right into Rosh
Hashana and then right after Tzom Gedalia it was almost Shabbos again, and then
before you know it Yom Kippur and now Shabbos and then Sunday night we’re
already in our Sukkah. Every other day feels like it’s a Sunday after a Shabbos
but it’s also a Thrusday right before Shabbos. We are slamming out those
holidays. Slamming out those iphone-free days to focus on what should really be
important to us. Perhaps to give us a sense and appreciation and a little
snapshot into what life really should be like. What we need to get into focus.
We leave our houses. Sort of… I mean we still go back in to use the
microwave, to check our computer, to longue on the couch, for those of us that
have a hard time sleeping with bugs, on cots or mattresses on the floor or
pretty much anywhere outside of our own cushy American matressed beds then
we’re pretty much inside every night as well. But at least we convince
ourselves that we have left our house and moved into our Sukka. When we sit in
the Sukka the Torah tells us we are meant to remember the Sukkas that we were
in when we left Egypt a really long time ago. Even before cell phones. According
to some of our sages, you may not even fulfill your obligation if you don’t
remember this. (see lomdus of the week below). Yet there are two opinions of
what those Sukkas that we have to remember were. Are they the literal huts that
we stayed in or are they heavenly Clouds of Glory that Hashem protected us in?
Now I can understand that we should have a holiday to remember the
clouds of glory. I mean those were really cool. If one looks in the Midrash
(which I recommend doing in order to share these fun ideas with your children)
you can see that they were like padded rooms, comfortable carpeting, the
perfect temperature either heat or AC whatever you like. They kept out the
enemies and all their arrows and missiles just bounced off. They were really
amazing. It makes sense to have a holiday to remember Hashem’s generosity. But
what’s the point of a holiday to remember the huts we slept in. I’m sure they
were not too impressive. Little shanties that we built. No room for anyone. All
of us sleeping in the same room and the sun keeps waking me up in the morning
and those crickets don’t stop chirping. Why would there be a mitzva to remember
those huts?
Reb Moshe Feinstien suggests that really both opinions are correct. We
need to remember the great miraculous holy and spiritual clouds of glory that
enveloped us for forty years in the wilderness. But we need to remember
something else as well. We need to remember that we didn’t have wifi service in
those huts that we had. We lived simply. We didn’t have fancy chandeliers-
light fixtures as non-hungarians call them today. We didn’t have any amenities
that today we can’t picture life without and that a mere 70 -80 years ago our
grandparents couldn’t imagine having. We believe that all of these things make
our life more complete, more productive, more efficient. But in reality we are
living in a generation that wastes more time than anyone before it. We spend
hours figuring out which brand of coffee we really want to buy, looking at
ingredients and figuring out which one has less chemicals. The best-selling
Jewish books today are Cookbooks. I have heard this from a few publishers. We
surf the net and have to know everything that happens everywhere immediately.
It is insane. We need to remember the Sukkas the simple huts that we lived in.
This is not a mitzva I think that would be easy to fulfill any other
time of the year. We are too attached. We are too embedded. We have gotten back
to the “real” world that is really mostly just virtual that we exist in the 21st
century. But right after Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashana we can still appreciate
how un-real that world really is. How unimportant all those things really are
to me. How we just opened up our heart and souls and asked for everything that
really counted and we didn’t even think about them once. How refreshing that
felt. How invigorating. How happy.
V’samachta B’Chagecha. Let us rejoice with this holiday in
front of us. That’s really the main mitzva of Sukkot. It’s not just about
spending time in those clouds of glory. Of course that will make you happy and
give you joy. It’s also and perhaps even more essentially about realizing that
it is only in those Sukkot mamash- those real simple bare bone huts that
we will actually find the peace, joy and happiness of being one with Hashem.
Only when we disconnect. When we leave it all behind. When all we have are some
branches and fruits to dance with. When we just have pretty pictures our kids
drew or some glued colored paper chains holding on for dear life from our
ceilings. When we can look up through the cracks of our ceiling and feel our
Father smiling down us from the stars above. Then we know we are truly
surrounded by clouds of glory. It’s a feeling one can get that it’s not about
my ICloud it’s about His Clouds. It is the picture of our soul the way it wants
to be seen. The way it really is. Think of it as a selfie of your soul. You don’t
need a camera for it. In fact it only works when you don’t have one.
Have an amazing Shabbos and a otherworldly Sukkos
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S
FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“A lustiger dales gait iber alles.”– Happy poverty overcomes everything.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lmaan-yeydu-vsamachta–
My latest composition. It’s a Rabbi Schwartz song like you’ve never heard it
before. This is Dovid Lowy’s funky take on my L’Maan Yeidu
Doroseichem/V’Samachta! My kids love it. I’m sure you will as well…
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/ushpizin-2 –If I had one song that I wish would “get out
there” it would be this one. There really is not any really hartzig songs to
sing in your sukka about Sukkos and I composed this one on Hoshana Rabba a few
years ago. It’s Yitz Berry at this best my incredible Ushpizin composition…
Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/n9VVd706PwI -
Reb Moshe Shmuel Shapiro’s Amar Abaye (at least in the first few seconds
you can actually hear him singing it)
https://youtu.be/BbSvL3eWnrw -
Yonatan Sheinfeld Ahavat Chinam- Free Love great song and video bringing all
Jews together
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF
THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q Most of the ruins in the Carmel are attributed to the
period:
a) Herodian
b) Byzantine
c) Umayyad
d) Crusader
a) Herodian
b) Byzantine
c) Umayyad
d) Crusader
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS”
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Sukkos-
My Rosh Yeshiva Reb Moshe Shmuel Shapiro was a lamdan.
Being a nephew of Reb Chaim Brisker and a student of the Brisker Rav, his cousin,
certainly gave him that analytical Brisker mind. But he always had some chasdish
blood in him. He composed 10s of songs and would regularly hold tish on
Friday nights and holidays when he would share those songs with us. Yet most of
his songs really came out of his lomdus. He always had an idea that he
found in the verse or words that he sang that he felt was expressed in the tune
he composed. Perhaps the most classic was his Amar Abaye tune. (I put a link by
the You tube clips below). It starts when you first open the gemara, then your
question on the Talmud, then your thinking about it and finally when you have a
lomdushe resolution. The song is comprised of two words Amar Abaya- Abaya of
course being the famous often quoted Rabbi in the Talmud. But when you hear the
song, you hear my rebbi learning.
Well
this is all an introduction to a lomdushe idea on a song I composed. The song
really has nothing to do with the lomdushe idea. Certainly not funky
beat that is arranged to. I composed the song before I saw the idea. But hey
maybe the idea will give me new tune for this happy sukkos song.
Now
most Briskers or lamdanim are not the most musical. They are more left-brained.
But they also want to make their lomdus practical. Not just an abstract
idea. The way that they do it is by finding a way that the idea can become a
new halachic stringency or a chumra. It’s not necessarily as fun as a
nice tune. But different strokes for different folks. So this idea on the
holiday of Sukkos contains that as well.
Now all
mitzvos we have a rule that one does not have to have intent to fulfill the
mitzva. Mitzvos einam tzrichos kavana, is the term for that rule. If you
eat matza on pesach, you fulfill the mitzva whether you intended to fulfill the
mitzva or not. You put on a Talit you got a mitzva, no need to realize that you
are doing it for a mitzva. Shake a lulav and Etrog on Sukkos same thing
applies. There might however be one exception. The Bach notes that since the
Torah tells us in the commandment to live in a Sukka
L’maan
yeidu doroseichem ki ba’sukkot hoshavti es bnai Yisrael-
That it is in order that your generations know that I settled the children of
Israel in Sukkos when I took them out of Egypt.
That
therefore if one does not know the reason or have intent for this reason when
sitting in the Sukka he may not fulfill his obligation. The Bikkurei Yaakov
even rules that if one ate and did not have this in mind he should go back and
eat again. The Magen Avraham rules one doesn’t. The Mishna Berura, generally accepted
as the final authority, rules that certainly in the first place-l’chatchila,
a person should have this intent, but if he didn’t he needn’t go back.
What
is the essence of the debate? So Rav Dushinsky explains brilliantly that there
is a dispute which Sukkos we are meant to remember. Rebbi Eliezer holds that it
is the clouds of glory we are meant to remember. Rabbi Akiva, on the other
hand, rules that it is the real hut sukkas that we made. If that is the case,
then he suggests that is the essence of the debate. For if someone just sat in
the Sukka and ate, there is no way that he would know or that it would be
obvious that he is remembering the clouds of glory. And thus he would not
fulfill his obligation to remember the Clouds of Glory sukkos that Hashem put
us in. According to Rabbi Akiva though, it is obvious when we are sitting in
the huts outside that we are commemorating the huts that we stayed in. One
doesn’t have to have special in mind in that case. The mere act of sitting in
the Sukka outside of one’s house already reflects the knowledge of the mitzva. There
is no need for any further kavana or knowledge.
With
this he explains perhaps another contradiction, where the Talmud states that
the mitzva of Sukka is a mitzva kalah- an easy mitzva. On the other one
of the piyutim- the accompanying prayer poems that some have a custom to
say says that Sukka should not be light or easy in your eyes. He suggests that
the difference is precisely the debate. According to the Magen Avraham that the
mitzva is for the huts then it is easy to fulfill. On the other hand, according
to the Bach where one has to remember and focus on the mitzva of the Clouds of
Glory then it is something that is not as easy.
Pretty
amazing! Now if you want a good song for this verse check out my latest super
fun and funky L’maan Yeidu Vsamachta song above by the Youtube clips of the
week.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S
AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Clouds of Glory and
Sukkos- 960 BC 40 years
is a long time to be wandering around the wilderness. My tourists have
generally had enough after an hour or two. Yet the Jewish people, the Torah
tells us had a different experience. They had clouds of glory we are told that
surrounded and protected them. They provided protection from the arrow and
spears of our enemies. They knocked out and cleared the road of all the
obstacles that stood before them. They provided the perfect climate control AC
conditions. As well it also served as the dry cleaner, as their clothing never
wore out. I have had a bunch of tourists that would have loved to travel under
those conditions. Each year we go out in our Sukkos and we remember and
commemorate the miracle and that feeling that we were driving for forty years
in that heavenly limo of the clouds of glory.
I try to connect my tourists to those
clouds of glory whenever we go hiking through the Judean Desert, or in
the Negev by Mibdar Tzin where the Jews actually wandered and I point
out to them how much nicer it would be if we had those heavenly clouds right
then. As well and perhaps even more poignantly when I drive near the borders in
the North of Israel in Galil or the Golan or even more so in the
South near Gaza, by Sderot, I talk about the miraculous clouds of
glory that surround our country. How our enemies throw missile after missile at
us and they seem for the most part to fall in empty fields. To land on arab
villages and this is even without the iron dome. Our war in Gaza in 2012 was called amud anan- the pillar of cloud
or in English Pillar of defence. Missiles in that war hit as far as Tel Aviv
for the first time from Gaza, but once again of the almost 1500 rockets that
were shot at us only one direct hit caused loss of life in Kiryat Malachi
and over 1100 fell in either Gaza or open areas. Yes, the clouds of glory are
still here today.
In regards to how we celebrate those
clouds, so there are a few places where one can really appreciate the
incredible Sukkos that we erect this holiday in commemoration of those
miracles. In Neot Kedumim they have tens of sukkos that are there that are
all mentioned in the Mishna, on a camel,
a boat, double decker on a tree. It’s very cool. In Jerusalem you have the Safra
square Sukka the largest one in Israel that has over 100,000 visitors over
sukkot and is over 1000 square meters. The Waldorf Astoria one in the
lobby is also exquisite as it seats over 250 people in the middle of the hotel
dining room. Belz has all kinds of incredible displays in their sukkah as well from what I
understand. The President of Israel even invites children from all over
the country to decorate his Sukka and thousands visit them. It is amazing to
live in this country and to walk around neighborhood to neighborhood and to
see each house, each shul, each nature reserve, restaurants historical sites, each
block remembers that miracle that Hashem did for us then as he did to us today
as He envelops us in His Sukkah of peace.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S I-PHONE JOKES OF THE WEEK
Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has
the new iPhone ? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know. What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous
Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone? A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iRIP iCloud,
Q: What does a bull and iPhone have in common? A: They both charge!
Steve Jobs funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every year in a slightly better coffin.
Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone
. My iPhone screen is brighter than my future
My iPhone seems to be broken. I pressed the 'home' button but I'm still stuck in traffic.
Three Iphone engineers and three Android engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers bought only one ticket between them. The Android engineers ask the Iphone engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Iphone engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Android engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back. Then on the return trip, the Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Android engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the Iphone engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please
Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicking over who's next to go.
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Answer is B– So I started off the year with a wrong answer. I hope that isn’t a sign for the year. Anyways when I think of Carmel I guess I was thinking of the mountain top and there really aren’t many “ancient” archeological ruins that I could think of. But another tour guide (thank you Avi) pointed out to me that the area of Shuni and Zichron Yaakov are also part of “Carmel” region and there you have the water cult and the Aqueduct water system that would bring water to Caesarea. Although it was started around the Roman era it was completed and mostly in use in the Byzantine era. As well there after googling a bit I found that there were some ancient synagogues in Haifa (by Karta mall) as well as outside of Daliyat Al Carmel and Chushafiya that date back to Roman and Byzantine periods as well. Never seen them, and probably won’t as there’s not much to see from what I saw online and they are pretty far off the beaten track. I picked the Umayad period which is 7th century Arab the latest of all the above eras. But the correct answer is probably Byzantine although it seems one might be able to argue Roman as well. Either way, I got it wrong so the score is Schwartz 37 and 10 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far
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