Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Going Up- Going Down/ Aliyah- Yeridah- Parshat Vayeitze 2020/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

November 27th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 7 11th Kislev 5781

Parshat Vayeitze

Aliyah / Yeridah- Going up / Going down

 

It's a word that's on a lot of people's minds and mouths these days. I can tell you that because on a usual year I get between one or two calls or E-Mails every month or so about moving to Israel and particularly Karmiel. Perhaps in April-May time I get a few more than that. But this past year I have been deluged. Since this pandemic has begun I'm averaging probably 6 to 8 a month. During the BLM riots and looting I received even more than that and the post-election calls have my phone ringing off the hook. Nefesh B'Nefesh is overwhelmed from what I understand requests for applications and information about emigration to Israel is through the holy roof. The word Aliya is coming out of the star spangled closet. The Children are really considering returning to our holy borders. Will they actually come or is this just Jews making sure their passports and destination are updated to leave, as they still continue to hang out there until the very end? Only Hashem knows. But Aliyah, a concept that was certainly foreign to many of my brothers and sisters in the Diaspora is certainly a course on the Shabbos table these days right next to the chulent.

 

Fascinatingly enough there is another word that I've heard a lot lately as well. It's coming from not nearly as many people as the first word, but it has come up a few times these months when usually it's only something I hear from Israelis. Not from those that have already picked up their families and left it all behind. Not from those who have tasted the fulfillment of the lifelong dream of every Jew to live in the country of our ancestors. It may have never necessarily been their dream when they moved here. They may have come for all types of ulterior motives- as I did-when they made Aliyah. But it was always the dream of their neshoma. So how come I'm finding the past few months that I'm having more and more conversations with people that have moved here about yeridah; their desire to return to chutz la'aretz once again. They can't deal with it anymore; the masks, the discrimination, the closed schools, the craziness and the politics. They just want to go back. They're ready to cash it all in.

 

If there's one thing the year 2020 has done to us is force all of us to reassess many of the things in our lives. We don't look at the world the same way we used to. We think about shopping differently; school, shul, weddings, bar mitzvas. Nothing is the same. We are looking at our non-Jewish neighbors differently. Not just those in America either. Although most Americans and I imagine Europeans as well always knew that "it" could happen again, despite us having a hard time believing it. Yet, the rising anti-semitism and anti-Israel levels that we are all seeing in even the normative political echelons is making us question how wrong we might have been about being sure that it was such a far danger.

 

We are even looking at our Jewish neighbors as well differently. Are they wearing masks? Are they voting "right"? Is this really where I'm meant to be? In Israel and in America we are questioning more and more if we can count on our respective governments and their institutions to have our best interests in mind in the decisions or decrees they are passing. How much is politics? How much is power and self-interests? People over there and over here are both thinking more than ever that maybe we're in the wrong country. Maybe it's time to move. The question is only if it's up or down; Aliyah or Yeridah?

 

Perhaps Parshat Vayeitzei is the perfect parsha to examine this topic, for if Avraham was the first Oleh, as we said, and Yitzchak was the first Sabra, Yaakov becomes the first Sabra born in Israel to leave the country. Sure, Avraham also left but he wasn't born here. He was just took a short break in Egypt for a while. But Yaakov who was born and raised on the holiness of the land from a father who didn't have a clue what outside of Israel looked like, leaves Eretz Yisrael for a few decades. All of the years that he worked by Lavan and where he gets married and makes a bunch of chutznik kids to bring back home with him. It's an incredible thing to think about. All of the tribes of Israel, with the exception of Binyamin, were Olim. Whereas our forefather Yaakov himself was what they call a toshav chozer- a returning citizen that makes Aliyah. What's that all about? It seems that there's something significant for the development of the Jewish people that could only come from them being raised and experiencing the "diaspora experience".

 

In case you're still doubting this assertion, think for a second about the fact that Yaakov was sent out of Eretz Yisrael by his father Yitzchak to find a wife. Why did he send him away, out of Eretz Yisrael? Yitzchak didn't know that Esau was out to kill Yaakov. In fact the the text tells us Yaaakov wasn't even in any danger as Esau had already decided that he wasn't going to make any moves on Yaakov until Yitzchak was dead (which wouldn't be for another few decades). It's not only a wife that Yaakov seems to be sent there to find either. For if that was the sole purpose then Eliezer or another faithful servant could have been sent there. It worked for Yitzchak and Rivkah, didn't it? What could be so bad? No, it seems that Yaakov was sent there because there was work that needed to be done. The work of chutz la'aretz and perhaps even the work of Eretz Yisrael needed to have its foundation outside of the holy land. It needed to start in galus.

 

I remember when I first moved to Israel I was talking to the Rav of our city, Karmiel, Harav Avraham Margalit and he told me that he is jealous of Olim. He was raised in Israel and to a large degree it is part of his identity. He's an Israeli. Being one, he takes it all for granted. Sure it's nice to be able to walk the streets our ancestors did. To always have access to davening at our holy sites; the Kotel, Kever Rachel, the tombs of all of our greatest sages for millennia. Even the idea that he is fulfilling a mitzva of settling the land by his mere presence here is just something he does. Kind of like the way most people take for granted the fact that we actually have the ability to talk to Hashem three times a day when we daven, or that we bentch after we eat. He's jealous of the enthusiasm that Olim that come here have. The excitement they carry with them just walking down the streets of Yerushalayim. Seeing signs in Hebrew, on having a taxi cab driver without a Kippah wishing you an upcoming chag samayach or Shabbat Shalom as you get out of their cab. There is a passion that Olim possess that one who is born here can never have. Yet that passion only comes from someone who hasn't been raised here.

 

But it's more than the passion that those that are raised outside of Israel possess that Yaakov's exile is about. There is a job and life experience that he needed to accomplish there first. It is only when that job is complete; when Yaakov has gathered all the sparks of Lavan and when he has herded all of the holy sheep that he tended to and brought them into his flock could he return. After the work of directing those sheep into producing generations and generations of sheep in the image of the sticks that he placed before them and raising his only children to do so as well. Only then could he bring all of those sparks back to Eretz Yisrael with him.

 

Yaakov, the man of the tent, who had sat and learned all of his life, with the taking of the birthright and the blessings took upon himself to fulfill the role of Esau of as well. He put on Esau's clothes and now it was time to go to Esau's workplace. Out to the fields, far from the Beit Midrash. It was time to get his hands dirty. As opposed to the job of Yaakov which is to bring Hashem down through the light of Torah from above, the job of Esau is to reveal the sparks of glory here below and to elevate them. It's the difference between the work of Aliya-lifting up the world that the chutznik does and yerida bringing down the light and blessing from above in Eretz Yisrael.

 

When Yaakov leaves Eretz Yisrael to embark upon this journey he has the famous dream that our Parsha begins with. The dream is of angels 'Olim' and 'Yordim'; the angels going up and coming down. Rashi tells us that they are the angels of Eretz Yisrael that are going up and the angels of chutz la'aretz coming down. Why are there two sets of angels? Why can't the Israeli angels go for a quick tour of Switzerland, a safari in Africa, go see the statue of Liberty or see Mickey Mouse in Disney World. Why can't they go to Lakewood, to Gateshead, to Radin or Vilna which I'm sure would be more on their itinerary plans than the first suggestions.

 

The answer is because Eretz Yisrael angels have one job. Only one thing that they are trained and created to do. That is to bring the bracha and light down from shamayim to this world; to Eretz Yisrael for the Jewish people to export it to the rest of the world. It is our most important GDP. When those Israeli angels job is over they go back up again to heaven. They are called "olim" because that is the conclusion of their job to bring it down and then go back up. Angels trained like these have no place or job outside of Eretz Yisrael. Israeli angels need to stay in Israel. There is nothing outside of here that they need to do. Nothing that they can do.

 

The angels of Chutz La'aretz, on the other hand are there to come down and help us reveal the sparks that are hidden down here. They protect us and accompany us as we uncover and elevate those sparks through our sanctification of Hashem's name, through our prayers and blessings, through our charity and tikun olam. They are the angels that were trained to accompany the work of Esau, the angels that Yaakov who replaced Esau needed to bring with him for all of the work he was meant to do out here. Their job is to be yordim- to come down with Yaakov. To go down as deep as he needed to go and from there to rise back up again. (It is those angels that Yaakov ultimately sends back to Esau when he is coming to attack him in next week's parsha). But you know what? Unlike the angels of Eretz Yisrael that should never leave, the angels of Chutz La'aretz come back home again. They make Aliyah. For ultimately all those sparks that were raised in the fields of Esau need to be returned to shamayim by these holy chutznik angels who have finally come home.

 

This Shabbos is the yartzeit of the Bas Ayin of Tzfat, Reb Avraham of Avritch.  A great lover of Israel Reb Avraham left Europe to come here at age 65 in the year 1830. As he was passing through the town of Zhitomir to get a blessing from the great Reb Aharon that led the community there, he found the Rebbi lying sick in bed. When he told his dear friend that he was off to Eretz Yisrael, Reb Aharon rejoiced. He told him that he understood that the only way that he can be cured was if he would drink water from the Holy Land. Since Reb Avraham was already on his way there then his thoughts are already there certainly as well. There is a famous mystical idea from the Baal Shem Tov that a person's location and presence is always where one's thoughts are. If that was the case Reb Avraham was like an "Eretz Yisraeldikeh" yid. It's as if he was already in Israel. So if he would make a blessing on some water and drank some and shared with him, it would be as if the Rebbi was drinking the water of Israel and he would be cured. And so he did. And so he was cured.

 

The Bas Ayin brings this story to explain that we find the anomaly that there is one time when we do find that the angels of Eretz Yisrael do leave the holy land. At the conclusion of our parsha as Yaakov makes his way back home he meets those original Israeli angels. Rashi tells us that they came out to greet Yaakov, his children and his angels who are coming back home. But how could they leave? Didn't we just say the angels of Israel cannot go out. He answers because the Jews whose thoughts and actions are on Aliyah are as if they are already in Israel. The holy land has come out to greet them. They have already come home.

 

Fascinatingly enough after Rav Avritch was in Tzfat for a few years it became very difficult for him. There was too much poverty, there were too many enemies. Life was rough. After much painful thought and reflection he was seriously considering to go back. His family, his chasidim, his Torah was so much stronger there. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he should be yored. With these thoughts going through his mind, he headed over to Shul to daven the afternoon prayers and he heard much scurrying and activity on the rooftops of the houses. When he asked someone what it was he was told that it was the women quickly removing all of their household items and food that they would store on their roofs for the summer and fall seasons, as they had no room in their house. "Why the urgency" asked the Bas Ayin as he looked up at the clear blue skies. There were no sign or forecasts of any impending rains. The old Tzfat yid explained that this evening they would be begin reciting the winter prayers of v'sein tal u'matar in their prayers asking for rain

"Since we are sure that our Father in Heaven will hear our prayers and will heed our request, we take precautions so that our possessions won't be ruined when the rains come."

 

When Reb Avraham heard the incredible unwavering and pure faith of the "Eretz Yisraeldikeh" yidden, those Israeli angels that live in this country, he decided that he could never leave. And he didn't.

 

Yes, it has been a year like no other for us. Even the Israelis that live here in Eretz Yisrael who have been locked down and shut out of so much of our country have the longing to once again visit our holy places like we used to. But we need to know that we can never leave. The rainy season is here and blessing and rains are already coming down just as we have been praying for them for the past few weeks already. The angels are bringing down the bracha. Next week you in chutz la'aretz will catch up with us and begin those rain blessing prayers as well. You are praying for the rain in Eretz Yisrael and for our blessings. Your thoughts are here with us and on us. They are the thoughts of you coming here… coming home. Our angels are all ready to come out to greet you. Welcome to Israel! Welcome back home. This time for good.

  

Have an angelic and thankful Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Ich ruff der malach und kumt der Galach.."- I summoned an angel and a priest came.        

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

5) Gas drilling rigs are planned in the area of:

A) Ellah Valley

B) The sea, opposite the southern tip of the Carmel

C) The Dead Sea

D) The sea, opposite Nitzanim

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://youtu.be/F9x1_etaEiQ   – Muchanim- great music video clip asking if we are ready for Mashiach Ari Hill Simche Friedman and the children of Yerushalayim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZeWq5WerF8 Shwekey and Chaim Yisrael singing Malachim Caesarea

https://youtu.be/zyPSOOPKcmc   The Bas Ayin story with pictures of Shul and earthquake

 https://chabadinfo.com/news/when-was-the-rosh-chodesh-kislev-niggun-made/   – Interesting (although a bit cheesy) video about the composition of the famous Kislev Niggun of Chabad… great footage as well

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 The Land of our Forefathers-Parshat Vayeitze As I mentioned above this week we read about the Yaakov Aviinu, the first Israeli born yoreid of Eretz Yisrael. He leaves because of anti-semitism, Esau sonei es Yaakov- Esau hates Yaakov. He leaves because he has work to do in Chutz La'aretz. In fact, it is only for these conditions that one is even permitted to leave Eretz Yisrael as the Rambam notes it is only to get married, or if the financial situation is too difficult or if one is in danger. Yet is in this exile of Yaakov that the Gaon of Vilna and others suggest pave the way for our ultimate redemption. Each one of the forefathers instilled in the Jewish Peoples DNA a connection to the land and it is in the merit of them that we will ultimately be returned.

 Avraham Avinu was the first Oleh. He was the one that received the promise and he came to Eretz Yisrael and walked the entire land and acquired it for us. Each step he took he filled with the excitement, wonder and passion that only an oleh can have. He created the love for the land and connected us to it eternally. Yitzchak the first sabra, on the other hand, who never left the land established Eretz Yisrael as our home. As opposed to Avraham who traveled all over and acquired it, Yitzchak planted and grew fields in the land. He uncovered the wells Avraham had used and established them as ours. He built the infrastructure, he was the chalutz-pioneer that only knew Israel. It was the only home he had, as the song goes- ein lanu Eretz acheret- there is no other land for us. And thus his descendants have the power to do the same and will have that sense always when they come here that we are returning to our own homeland.

 Yaakov though perhaps instills the most important aspect of our Jewish DNA in relation to Eretz Yisrael. Yaakov is the one that spends most of his most active years in exile outside of Israel and yet every day longs to return. To come back home. We can be gone for millennia from Eretz Yisrael but yet in every Jewish home there will be picture of the Kotel, of Kever Rachel, a unfinished spot on the wall to remind us of the destruction and that we are not home. Yaakov as he sat night and day watching the sheep of Lavan in the hills of Syria would look up to the sky and dream about the day he will return home. It is those dreams that have kept us connected for all generations from the far flung edges of the world that we have been exiled to.

 The Gaon of Vilna in his work Even Shlomo writes that the final geula/redemption will not come in the merit of teshuva-repentance, rather it will be in the merit of the Patriarchs, our zechut avot.  He notes that is what we say in our davening each day v'zocher chasdey avos- and He remembers the kindness of our forefathers u'mayvi goel l'vnei bnayhem- and He brings redemption to their descendants. It is not only in our daily prayers but Reb Yosef Engel notes that it is in the promise Hashem makes after the Torah tells us of the terrible tochacha punishments we receive if we do not keep the mitzvos. V'Zacharti es Brisi Avraham V'es Brisi Yitzchak V'Es Brisi Yaakov- And I will remember the covenant of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov- V'es Ha'aretz Ezkor and I will remember the land. It is because when Hashem remembers our Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov and their connection to the land of Eretz Yisrael. Their dedication, their building it up and their longing for the land. Then he remembers the land and will return us to it. May that memory come before Hashem today!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S & THEIR PLACES & PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

The Death of Shaul and Yonasan- 877 BC-  We conclude the Book of Shmuel Aleph (I) this week with the long dreaded battle and death of Shaul and Yonasan. It is a bloody ending to a book that started with such potential and hope with the birth of Shmuel. This battle has been a few weeks in coming and the stage has been set. Dovid is far away returning from his battle with the Amalekites that had kidnapped his wives and those of his soldiers in Tziklag. The Plishtim have hundreds of thousands of men and they are swarming the foothills of Gilboa in the Jezre'el Valley. The Jews didn't stand a chance. And although that is true for most of our wars, but here we already know that Hashem had revealed to Shaul through the spirit of Shmuel that they would not win. Although the Jews didn't know this yet, Shaul certainly did and despite his best efforts to marshal the troops the Jews were getting slaughtered and began to flee.

 Shaul watched his children Yonasan and the others get killed, and he knew it was over. He had one fear though. If the Plishtim captured him alive they would torture and abuse him to the point that he feared he may desecrate Hashem's name. That he could never allow. So he asked his armor-bearer to kill him. The man refused so Shaul had him hold his sword and he fell on his own sword and killed himself. There is much discussion about the halachic permissibility about this. Certainly one can give their lives rather than violate the three cardinal sins, as well any sin for that matter when the purpose is to force us publicly to desecrate Hashem's name. Did Shaul's pre-emptive action meet the criterion? It's a question I ask my tourists as we stand on Mt. Gilboa and discuss the battle that took place here. It's a question I discuss as well at Masada, in Yad Vashem or other places where even in modern times where Jews committed suicide rather than fall in the hands of the enemy. Touring and learning in Eretz Yisrael is not just a history lesson. It is where even the halachic and philosophic aspects come alive and are meant to be real.

 The Plishtim pursue the fleeing Jews even as they cross the Jordan river. They take the body of Shaul and Yonasan to the city of Beit Shean and hang them in desecration upon the walls. Today we do not have those ancient walls of Beit Shean. In fact the archeological park of Beit Shean is mostly the Roman city that was much later. Ancient Beit Shean is the tel right next to the park. That is where the old city was that dates bake to prehistoric times. There certainly have been finds there of inscriptions in ancient Hebrew (different than our Ashuris script) from the period of the Kings of Israel.

 The Book concludes with the heroic story of the people of Yavesh Gilead, whom Dovid had saved in his first challenge as King from the King Nachash the Ammonite who had persecuted and threatened them. Shaul was there for them when no one else was there for these people in Gilead on the other side of the Jordan River (today this is in Jordan in a place called Tel Al Achriz). Now they were there for Shaul. They snuck in and took their bodies back and then the text tells us that they burnt them and buried their bodies there. I'm sure if you read that you were struck by that seeming anomaly. How could they burn them? We are opposed to cremation we view it as being a desecration. These are people that risked their lives to save the bodies why or how could they burn them. There are all different approaches in the commentaries. There are those that say that for Kings this as considered and honor, so that nobody will take their place. Others say that just their things were burned. Another approach is that this was done for fear that the Philistines would get their hands on the bodies again. Finally some suggest that the burning wasn't of the bodies, rather the verse is referring to a fire that that was set for them- meaning the people of Yavesh Gilead- to camouflage their escape. Ultimately Dovid will move their graves to the portion of Binyamin, but it certainly seems different that we do not have any tombs or traditions as to the tombs of Shaul and Yonasan. There are no pilgrimages to their graves. It is only when we are at the site of their last battle when we can remember their tragic deaths.

 Next week we begin the new book of Shmuel Beis (II) as we learn the story and places of the Kingship of Dovid Hamelech!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE  ANGEL JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 A community was asked about the qualities of their former rabbi. 

"He can be compared to Moses, King David, and even an angel," came the response. 
The new community eagerly accepted the rabbi as their spiritual leader but quickly realized he was incapable of anything. They wrote a letter to the other community, complaining as to why they deceived them. 
To which they received a reply, "We were not deceiving you. Just like Moses — this rabbi can't speak. He knows not a word of English — like King David. And just as an angel — a mentsh he is not."

 God is talking to one of his angels. He says, "Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn’t that good?" 

The angel says, "Yes, but what will you do now?" 
God says, "I think I’ll call it a day."

 A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for the angel Michael to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her “Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.” 

When the angel Michael came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” You have to spell a word,” the angel said. “Which word?” the woman asked. “Love.” The woman correctly spelled “Love” and the angel welcomed her into Heaven. 
About a year later, Michael the angel came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. 
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?” 
Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse whom you never liked; and then I won the 250 million dollar lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion, a private jet, a yacht, and a summer home in the Riviera. My wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! 
“Now, how do I get in to this beautiful paradise? I am starving…”
 
“You have to spell a word,” the woman told him. 
“Which word?” her husband asked. 
Czechoslovakia,” she said. 

.Sam, Abbe and Moishe were waiting in line to get into Heaven. When Sam gets to the front of the line, the Angel said, "Before you can enter you must tell me the story of how you died?" 

"I came home to my apartment and I noticed the door was open, so I knew that there was a thief inside. So I started to search for him, but I couldn’t find where the guy was hiding. However, when I went out onto my balcony, there was this man hanging onto my railings. I was furious and started kicking him but he held on so I got a hammer and battered his fingers. He couldn't take that and had to let go. He fell 20 stories but he somehow landed in some thick bushes and only stunned himself so I ran into my kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the balcony. My aim was perfect – it landed right on top of him, killing him instantly. Unfortunately, all the raw anger got to me. I had a massive heart attack and died on my balcony." 

"That sounds interesting to me," said the Angel and let Sam in. 

He then asks Abbe for his story. 

"It's been a very unusual day for me. I live on the 21st floor and every morning I do exercises on my balcony. Unfortunately, this morning I slipped on the wet floor and fell over the edge. Luckily, I managed to grab the railing of the balcony below mine. All of a sudden, a man burst out onto the balcony and just for a moment I thought I was saved. But he was a madman and started beating me. I somehow held on but when he started hammering at my hands, I had to let go. But I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, winded but OK. But my luck ran out when a fridge fell on me. Now I'm here." 

Once again, the Angel lets Abbe in.  Moishe came to the front of the line "Picture this," says Moishe, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..." 

 A man dies and goes to heaven. One of God’s angels meets the man and says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, “I never ate a piece of non-kosher food in my 90 years. Nothing.”

"That's wonderful," says the angel, "that's worth three points!"

"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended synagogue all my life and always gave as much tzedakah as I could."

"Terrific!" says the angel, "that's certainly worth a point."

"One point? Oy. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and volunteered at the Jewish senior’s home."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

"TWO POINTS!!" the man cries. "The way you guys grade, there’s no way my Selma got in here.”

“Selma who?” asks the angel.

My wife, Selma Rothenstein. You know, Selma and I were married for 60 years and I never raised my voice at her, not even once."

“Oh, thaaat Selma,” the angel nods. “You put up with her for 60 years?! Come right in!”

 

Rivkah Epstein was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.

She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You need to get back here immediately with that medication. Do whatever you have to, to get in your car."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger on the ground. She tried to use it to open her car door but exasperated, admitted, "I don't know how to use this."

So Rivkah bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "God, this is what you sent to help me?"

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. In tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are an angel!"

The man replied, "I ain’t no angel lady. I just got out of prison today. For car theft, actually.”

Rivkah looked heavenward and cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! I’m sorry I questioned you. Not only did you answer my prayers and send me help, you even sent me a professional!"

 

It was tax time in Chelm, and two of its leading citizens were having a discussion.

"I don't understand this business with taxes," said the first man. "Surely the Czar has enough money of his own. He even has his own royal mint, where he can make as many rubles as he likes. So why does he bother with my ruble?"

"Don't be silly," said the second. "Let me tell you a parable. It is said that every time a Jew performs a mitzvah, God creates an angel. So why not ask God why he needs one more angel in addition to the millions of angels he has already created? Can't God make as many angels as he likes? Of course he can! But why doesn't he? Because God prefers your angel.

"Well the same thing is true with taxes. Of course the Czar can make as many rubles as he likes. But you don't understand -- he prefers your ruble."

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Answer is B –  Personally I don't recall ever seeing or noticing the Gas rig in the sea outside of the beach of Dor Nachsholim. I do kind of remember protests going on there about a year ago about them being placed there and the environmental concerns Zichron Yaakov and some of other cities in area had about it. But you can't fight 10's of billions of dollars in estimated future profits and enough gas to provide Israel for the next 40 years from the 500 million cubic meters of gas interests that lie under the Sea. All of this is all taking place not far from Chaifa in the Southern Carmel about an hour or so from home which is certainly far enough from me. So another one right and the score now stands at 4 for Rabbi Schwartz and 1 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

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