Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, November 26, 2021

Identity Crisis- Parshat Vayeitzei 2021 5782

 Insights and Inspiration

from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
November 12th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 7 8th Kislev 5782

Parshat Vayeitzei

I had an interesting conversation this week with a good friend of mine here in Karmiel, one of our local Roshei Kollel, Reb Moshe. We were talking about the integration of American Olim in Israel, or at least their attempts to do so. On the one hand, he said to me something that I've heard from many supposedly very astute educators, Rabbis and advisers. You know the kulanu chachamimnevonim and yode'ei es ha'torah of the Pesach Seder night- of which there is no shortage of them here in Israel. Well, they claim that unless you "leave you're America behind" and you integrate and embrace the Israeli and particularly Chariedi culture and Weltanschauung that they have here, you and your children will not have a successful Aliyah and will be beset with problems and issues.

That is even true he claimed, in these American enclaves like Beit Shemesh, Har Nof and Telzstone where tragically there are certainly many that fall by the side because their children don't adjust and have a hard time finding themselves in these communities despite the fact that you really don't need to know Hebrew to get around in those communities for the most part.

On the other hand, he argued it is too difficult to throw away your entire past, upbringing and culture. This is not only true for adults, but particularly they say for older children. This line is used as perhaps one of the most disgraceful lashon haras about moving to Eretz Yisrael since the Meraglim. "You can't do it now- because your children are the "wrong ages". Maybe your bar mitzva boy or teen-age child shouldn't go to daven with a minyan either because it's too challenging and he's not yet the right age? Maybe they shouldn't fast on Yom Kippur or mourn on Tisha B'Av because they're still not really old enough yet. Maybe we should switch the age from Bar or Bat Mitzva to 18 or 21 when they can start drinking and smoking and thus better deal with the trauma that leaving their formerly pampered existence might bring on. {I know that some of you have just unsubscribed…ah well…} Yet there is something that is true about the challenge of trying to change who you are and the culture that you grew up in to become Israeli. The challenge in my humble opinion is another one though. It's that it doesn't really work.

Let me explain. See, one of the most Israeli things about is Israelis is that they are proud of who they are and where they come from. They don't change who they are for anyone. What exactly they're proud of? I'm still trying to figure out… (oops there goes some more unsubcribes). But that's where the problem begins. Once an American starts trying to become who he isn't or tries to hide and change their origins, they are all ready being un-Israeli like. And there's your Catch-22. In fact, the more and more and the harder and harder one tries to run from their previous identity, the less and less Israeli you will ever be. It doesn't pay to even try.

The truth is this is not only an Oleh conundrum. Baruch Hashem over the past few decades there have been thousands of Jews that have as well left their past lives and embraced the religion and observance of Torah and Mitzvos that had tragically been kept from them their entire lives and that had been watered down and distorted. These holy Baalei Teshuva-or BTs as we frummies like to call them, as well are faced with the issue of trying to integrate into a society so different than the one that they had been living in. There as well, there are no shortage of advisers that tell them that they have to remove any vestige of their past lives and personalities and conform to the glorious new frum world with all it's yeshivish nuances and trappings. They are warned in the same way that new Olim are, that unless they go the "full 9 yards", they will have all types of issues; their children, schools, yeshivas, shidduchim, making friends.

Again, maybe it's because I'm too Israeli already, but I'm not a big fan of the concept or the idea. And frankly, I've found that no matter how much Baalei Teshuva might try… We frummies can smell from a mile away that rayach of Gan Eden that comes from the tremendous merits wafting into the room. It's the smell of someone who has moved from a chulent-less upbringings to a world of Torah and Mitzvos that we could only aspire to one day achieve. The black hat ain't fooling anyone.

This cultural identity conundrum though is something that has very deep roots in our nation. On the one hand it starts with our first Patriarch Avraham whose first command Lech Lecha is to leave everything behind. Interestingly enough, I have seen commentaries that suggest that Hashem told him explicitly to leave from "his land, his birthplace and his father's house" as a constant command. He should constantly be leaving them; which inherently means that he really never forgets them or denies where he came from. Rather he is moving from them. They are always with him and pushing him forward. But it is Yaakov Avinu whom we find is forced the most to undergo the most cultural changes. He is the person with a constantly evolving and changing circumstance and lifestyle. And it challenges him.

He is born the tam- complete and pure soul who sits in the tents of Shem and Ever and studies all the time. He's your typical FFB (frum from birth) yeshiva boy. That's really all he sees himself doing for the rest of his life. It's not like he really would have to work for a living. His father is fabulously wealthy. He supports his ideals and zeal for his Torah study and the plan it seems was that his big hairy bro Esau, who certainly was not ever cut out to be sitting in the Bais Midrash would be the one taking care of all of the family business and the further material success of the family. He had even cut a deal with Esau when he was younger that in exchange for a bowl of soup, Yaakov could be the first born and have that birthright- making him like the kohein who would be dedicated to serve as the godly intermediary one of the family, with Esau renouncing that claim. Everything was in place for a long peaceful life in the walls of the Beit Midrash.

That all came crashing down one bright morning when his Mom told him that it wasn't meant to be. Esau wasn't up for the task of running this world. Yitzchak didn't really get that either and Yaakov would have to dress up like Esau and take over his role. Tatteleh, as my mother would tell me, it's time to get a real job. The Rabbi thing is nice and all, but it's time to make an honest living. So he is forced to leave his tents and his books and even the holy angelic air of Eretz Yisrael and move down to the guldeneh medina of Charan to Uncle Lavan.

Those are not the only things that changed in Yaakov's life. See when he first left, our sages tell us he had a nice bank account. He had his father's trust fund and credit cards. Yet his first day leaving he's jumped by Esau's son Elifaz and is mugged. He comes to his future father-in-laws house penniless. He's not a yeshiva guy anymore. He's not a rich kid anymore. He's a poor unsuccessful shepherd Baalabos wannabe. Nothing is going as planned and almost everything is going the opposite of the plan.

His situation even further deteriorates when it turns out that the woman he thought he was marrying whom he loved and worked for was not the one he woke up the next morning with. Sure, I know lots of us guys- if not all of us guys feel that way sometimes. But for Yaakov, she really wasn't. Even when he marries Rachel eventually, things aren't working out the way he had planned. She's childless. She's annoyed at him as well. He begins marrying more wives at his first wifes urgings (as if two weren't enough), to compensate and hopefully evoke merit to finally produce the 12 tribes he's meant to. Here he had once had this vision of his life sitting comfortably at a nicely set elaborate Shabbos table sharing the Torah he had learned in Kollel that morning with his wife and children in holy Eretz Yisrael and instead he's out hanging with goats and sheep all day and night with four wives fighting over him and not a penny to his name.

When he finally gets a raise and starts raking in those speckled and spotted sheep that he was able to finagle he finds himself waking up one morning after a harrowing dream about… Sheep? I can just picture Yaakov that morning looking in the morning in the mirror and asking himself. Who am I? I used to dream about Rabbi Akiva Eiger's kasha on Tosfos in Bava Basra. I dreamt of angels climbing ladders and the throne of Hashem on top of me. I had a beard, payos, black hat- obviously… Now look at me. Am I an Ameri-charan- (sorry I couldn't resist)? Am I still recognizable to myself even?

This identity crisis reaches its pinnacle next week when the malach he battles with in fact even changes his name. He's now Yisrael. Izzy. Sruly. Yet at the same time he's also Yaakov, Yanky, Jack. Who knows? Maybe they will start calling him Coby when he comes back to Israel.
 So as you see the challenge of Yaakov and therefore of all of his descendants will be to find their true inner selves that are never going to be defined by their upbringing, their life situation, or the country they are living in. It is fascinating to me that when Hashem tells Yaakov that it is time to go back home again, galus is over (at least temporarily) Hashem tells him

Bereishis (31:3) Va'yomer Hashem el Yaakov shuv el Eretz avosecha u'l'moladetecha- v'eheyeh imcha- Return to the land of your fathers and to your birthplace and I will be with you.

These words are so important that Yaakov repeats this directive to his wives. Hashem didn't tell him to just go back to Israel. He told him to go back to his roots. To return to who and what he was before. Hashem promised that He will be with him. You may not recognize yourself. But you're still my Yaakov. I am always with you. He's the same person as when he left. He didn't learn from their ways. He didn't pick up their culture. He became a Yisrael- an Israeli that can conquer all of the forces of Esau and yet he still remains that Yaakov, that simple complete man of the tent.

The Baal Ha'Tanya takes this even a step further. He notes that the job of every Jew each morning is that he wakes up as a Yaakov, pure soul. Yet when he goes out to the world many times he needs to put on the "clothing" of Esau. He's in the workplace. He's with the sheep and the sheeple. He's dealing with all of the Lavans out there. He worried about all of the challenges internal and external that an Esau-world brings on. All of the unexpected twists and foreign circumstances that are a shock and jolt to our pure sanctity. But we need to realize that they are only the clothes of Esau that we are putting on to deal with those challenges. We must never forget or even hide who we are or where we came from. When we come back home at night we need to take off those clothes of Esau and "return to the land of our fathers and our birthplace." We need to become Yaakov again and never lose sight that is who we are in fact the whole time.

Those challenges of wearing clothes that don't fit us (something I've been thank God doing a lot of since my weight-loss- 60 pounds down!!), sadly is not only Esau's clothes. We Jews have plenty of our own clothing issues. Our society demands a conforming attitude in almost every outlet of what would be personal expression of our own unique identity and culture that we may have been part of or that we identify with. The Yarmulka or Kippa we wear or don't. The hats, the music we like, the zemiros we sing, our hair, our car, our houses and perhaps to put it in one big word-our "systems". More often than not there is no halachically right or wrong of any of the above. They're just the clothes that people like to identify us with. The comfortable box that we can be filed in.

Whether one needs to or doesn't need to change their "clothes", their lifestyles and the cultures of the places that they come from in order to fit in is debatable. But one thing is certain. Don't ever let those clothes and externalities make you change yourself. You should never forget and try to erase the father's home and your birthplace that made you. Hashem is with you. He's doesn't mind if you put on some Purim costumes or play dress up in order to get your kids into a school, or to get a job, or because you're nervous about a shidduch. He'd probably prefer you have faith in Him. He's anyways with you, but hey, if you like to dress up- that works as well. But don't forget that you're Yaakov. He loved you back then. He took care of you before you moved, before you became frum, before you got married, before you went to work, before you became rich and before you lost it all and then made it once again. He brought you here today and he knows who you really are. The clothing and changes aren't for Him and they shouldn't be necessary for you as well. The only question left is then who are they really for and do they really work anyways. What do you think. Habibi?

Have a reflective Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
 
 
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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
 
" Az ich vel zein vi yener, ver vet zein vi ich?."- If I would be like someone else, who will be like me?
 
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email

2) The first German Templer colony established in the Land of Israel in the modern era was in: ______
The contribution of the German Templers was manifested, among other things, by:
a) The building of a renewed aqueduct in the area of Caesarea and Ma’agan Michael
b) The building of churches
c) Paving the road to Tzemah
d) Transportation and agriculture
 
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
 
https://youtu.be/hDxQMr8tog0 - I was blown away by this song. Dudi Knopfler singing "Tatteh" Orginally Abba by Shlomi Shabbat- I think it's originally something else in English… Help me here.. It's beautiful
https://youtu.be/okHewq7yUmg  – If you missed it last week here it is again… Eli Beer's latest Ekra, definitely worth the relisten, Hartzig…

https://13news.co.il/item/programs/6-amnon-levi/articles/shahar-xfactor-1408017/ - Check this out Israeli X Factor this incredible Yemenite young man singing a little Lionel Richie blows the judges away- who knows maybe next Eurovision star…
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=649fFCtGYkA – Shuli Rand and Amir Benayon- teaser for concert very cute singing at each other…
 
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Dreaming of ShabbosParshat Vayeitzei- I was debating whether to write about the mysterious Luz bone that gets fed by the Melave Malka se'uda that has it's source in this week's Parsha, because of course Yaakov connects to Shabbos. But instead I took a different fascinating Shabbos Halachic journey for based on a shiur I heard from Rabbi Daniel Glatstien that is based on an incredible Chasam Sofer. Maybe we'll get to Melave Malka a different time…
 
The Chasam Sofer asks the question that the Torah tells us that Yaakov was nifga ba'makom- he arrived at the place for the sun had come down, and he slept there and had this incredible dream. Rashi shares the famous Midrash and gemara that derives from this verse a few things. One the strange terminology of va'yifga relates to a word that means prayer and it is here that Yaakov established the evening prayer of Mariv. The second thing he notes is that it tells us that Yaakov slept there, but 14 years that he was by Shem and Ever's yeshiva where he went upon leaving his father's house, he didn't sleep at all. He stayed up and learned. He was one of those type of guys in yeshiva.
 
The Chasam Sofer however asks that if Yaakov managed to not sleep for 14 years than why all of a sudden did he decide to sleep this night? Interesting question, isn't it? He answers brilliantly with a halachic insight based on another question. It says here that Yaakov davened Mariv because the sun was coming. That would seem that he davened before the sun set. Yet it seems that would be a machlokes (debate)- in the Talmud whether one can daven maariv early or not. In fact, Tosafos in Brachos uses this as a proof that we rule like Rebbi Yehuda who says one can daven Mariv after plag- half of the afternoon is already over. The Magen Avraham however says that this is not a proof because on Shabbos everyone would agree that we could daven early. The reason for this is because The evening prayer corresponds to the fats that were burned after dark in the Temple and on Shabbos they would not be burned (because you can't bring weekday sacrifices on the altar on Shabbos). He thus suggests that Yaakov was davening early here because it was Shabbos. Got it? Ok that's part I of the answer on Shabbos.
 
Part II is as follows. If it was Shabbos then the halacha is that one is prohibited to learn by a candle light on Shabbos. This is a rabbinical decree for fear that one might move the candle and put it out. The exception is a student with his Rabbi or when one is learning with someone else. Thus Yaakov until now was in yeshiva so he could stay up Friday nights and learn. Yet here he was all alone and thus he could not learn for fear of putting the candle out. So without a choice he went to sleep. He adds that when Yaakov had his awesome dream and realizes that this was the temple mount where he was sleeping, he exclaims that had I known I would never have gone to sleep. The reason for this is because the law is that the rabbinic laws of Shabbos of muktza (called shevus) don't apply in the Temple. Thus he really could've learned even on this night.
 
He adds another piece that Yaakov upon awakening used the name of Hashem so that he could "lift up his legs" as the verse tells us va'yisa es raglo- the reason for this was because Yaakov took a great leap above 10 tefachim from the ground where there is no laws of the techum the 2000 amah boundary that one cannot cross on Shabbos. Because Yaakov is Shabbos man as I said. There are many more halachic pieces and hints in this story. I just shared a few. See if you can find any more yourselves.
 
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
 
Dovid's Death and burial- 837 BC- There is an old Groucho Marx question about who is buried in Grant's tomb. The wrong answer is Grant, because the tomb is above ground and so they are technically not buried there but entombed there. When it comes to Dovid Ha'Melech the King of Israel the question as well has a false assumed answer. See, the common answer is that Dovid Ha'Melech is buried on Mt. Zion near Dormition Abbey underneath the "room of the Last Supper". There are signs there and the Christians make a big deal out of it. Generally speaking as a rule, when the Christians make a big deal about something it's the first sign that it's probably a bubbeh mayseh- a fairy tale.
 
See the Christians have an agenda to connect their "saviour" to King David, they want to believe that he is from his line (which is kind of hard to argue if you at the same time bizarrely claim that he really didn't have a mortal father- I'm just saying. So they came up with the story that site where Yoshka had his last Pesach Seder before getting nailed to a tree, would be the connected to King David the progenitor of Mashiach. As I said bubbeh mayesehs…
 
Anyone that opens up a book of Navi, as we've been doing sees that the Navi tells us that Dovid died and was buried in the "City of Dovid". As an aside, to this week's column the Midrash tells us that Dovid died on Shabbos toward the end of the day and it happened to be Shavuos as well. Dovid tried to outwit the Angel of death by learning all Shabbos long- by the way that could be another source for the custom to stay up and learn all Shavuos night- it's what Dovid was doing. (Bet you never heard that one before…). The angel of Death made a tree rustle outside and when Dovid went to go check, obviously continuing to learn or recite Psalms as he walked, the Satan made him slip and he died. He couldn't be moved on Shabbos because a dead person is considered muktza, much to his son Shlomo's consternation, which he notes in the book of Koheles, when he states that a live dog (for which meat can be cut up to feed on Shabbos) is better than a dead lion a reference to Dovid who couldn't be moved.
 
But anyways it's clear that the burial place of Dovid is not in Mt. Zion which most likely wasn't even around as a residential area in the times of Dovid Ha'Melech, but rather didn't get really built up until end of the Bayis Rishon and the 2nd Temple era primarily, a few hundred years after Dovid. The problem was that after the 2nd temple the city of David was pretty much buried and out of commission and long forgotten about by the times the Christians started coming, while Mt. Zion was still around. And so the stories began.
 
Now where in the City of David are the graves is another question. In the 1940's the first Jewish excavation, funded by a Jew in Eretz Yisrael was in the city of David to find this grave. It was conducted by Raymond Weill a French Jew and funded by Baron Rothchild. He discovered what is today known as the graves of the Kings. It was 8 burial caves in the southern part of the city of David. The verse in Nechemia which talks about the rebuilding of the walls of the city mentions the steps near the pools of Shiloa that are by the grave of Dovid. So there are sources for that idea. As well the Talmud tells us that Rabbi Akiva notes that Dovid was buried in the walls of the city and there was an underground tunnel that would take the tumah- impurity out of the city so it wouldn't be a problem for Kohanim.
 
Yet like all things Jewish these graves also have their detractors. They don't seem "kingly" enough. Maybe they're not even graves. Josephus writes how Herod built a tomb over them and there's no remnants of that. So perhaps they are graves of Kings but not Dovid, or maybe they're just water cisterns. So the burial place of Dovid is still a mystery. Although for centuries Jews have prayed at the tomb on Mt. Zion that is under the auspices of the Diaspora Yeshiva (who ardently claim that it is the real site- understandably enough), we don't daven to dead people anyways. We only daven to Hashem. We visit the grave for the merit of the righteous person buried there and certainly anywhere in Yerushalayim the merit of Dovid Ha'Melech who founded this city is present. Dovid Melech Yisrael Chai V'Kayam- Dovid is our eternal King, and may his descendant Mashiach ben Dovid soon come and tell us where to stand to watch Dovid once again rise up in techiyat ha' meisim and inspire us.
 
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE IDENTITY JOKES OF THE WEEK
 
Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places. You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.
 
My parents told me I could be anyone I want to beBut it turns out that identity theft is a crime.
 
What do you call the identity of a Israelite who secretly is a Kohen/ Priest? It’s an altar ego.
 
An identity thief stole an Italian chef's identity. When the police found him, they accused him if being an impasta.
.
The Native American Indian went to a psychiatrist because he was having an identity crisis
"Some days I feel like a teepee" he says. "Then other days I feel like a wigwam. I dont know which one is true"
"One day, teepee! The next, wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam!"
The psychiatrist yells, "Get a grip, man! You're too tense!"
 
Hi, I'm an identity thief. My pronouns are you/yours.
 
It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It mostly bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that.
 
So a few days ago Donald Trump decided to go campaign in Florida.He wanted to make sure he gets the Floridian vote. So he went to a home for senior citizens - what they call a home for assisted living. As we walked in, he encountered what looked like a 95 year old woman and he looks at her and says, "Do you know who I am?"
And she says, "Son, I don't know who you are".
And he says, "Look at me, come on. You don't know who I am??"
And she says, "I'm so sorry my little boy, but I don't know who you are".
He says, "How can you not know who I am? I am the celebrity of today. I was the President of the United States and many people still believe I am. I am on television all the time and look at my hairdo, look at my height, look at my stature, look at the way I speak. Everyone in the *world* knows me!"
She says, "Sir, I don't know who you are!"
He gets very very upset. He starts hollering, "This can't be! How can you not know who I am?! Nobody is ignorant of my existence and my identity. Now tell me, you must know, who *am* I?
Another lady who must've been around 100 years old walks over to him and says, "Relax, relax. This happens very often around here. We'll call the head nurse, and she'll tell you who you are."
 
What do you call a baker who has no identity? John Dough
 
Izzy rings the bell of a very wealthy person's house in New York and when the owner comes to the door, Izzy greets him.
"Sholom Aleichem, Mr. Goldstein,” says Izzy. “I'm collecting for the local Jewish school, and I'm wondering if a nice wealthy Jewish person like yourself wouldn't want to make a little contribution."
"The name is Gold, not Goldstein,” says the man, “And I am not Jewish."
"Are you sure?" asks Izzy.
"I'm positive".
"But it says here that you're Jewish and my records are never wrong."
"I can assure you that I am certainly not Jewish", replies Mr. Gold impatiently.
"Look sir, you wouldn’t be lying to me would you? My records are never wrong – you must be Jewish!" demands Izzy.
"For the last time, I am not Jewish, my father is not Jewish, and my grandfather, alav hashalom, wasn't Jewish either!"
 
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Answer is D – Whewww… This type of exam is certainly harder than the old one where it was just multiple choice and could guess. But remarkably I got this one right also. I knew the Templers were in Jerusalem, Yaffo, Sarona, Beit Lechem Hagliglit and other places. But I was pretty sure that the first stop was Haifa…I think we spoke the most about them there and if I recall they were scared off initially that Jerusalem wouldn't be so inviting to their brand of Protestant, biblical and evangelical Christianity. So I went with Haifa and was correct. They definitely weren't big church people as protestants rarely are. As well the Tzemach road was one of the first Zionist projects started by Ruttenberg. I have no idea where the renewed aqueduct fits in but I imagine that has to do with Crusaders more than German Templers in the 20th century. And I knew that Jaffa oranges were in fact a Templer thing as well as other agricultural stuff so I went with that and was correct. They also fixed streets and roads and transport between Haifa yaffo and other places. So another one right with the score being Schwartz 2 and 0 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam. .

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