Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
September 6th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 44 13th of Elul 5785
It's not easy writing these E-Mails each week. I'm tired. I'm busy. I've had a packed week. I'd rather prepare my drasha, read Mishpacha, spend time with my wife, my kids, my dog, sleep… pretty much anything but. Yet, I push myself. It's something I need to do. There's a vort in the parsha each week that I know Hashem is sending to me. It seems the only way that I can reveal it, is by sitting in front of this screen and just watch the words come pouring out of the keyboard. It's an incredible process. It's inspiring. It brings me close to Hashem. It digs down deep into my soul and puts me in touch with my essence. It brings me close to you. I'm touched each week, that you haven't unsubscribed yet. Thank you… and this isn't even a leadup to a fundraising letter or a shnorr for sponsorship. Its just what came out of my keyboard. It's sincere. Thank you.
Now sometimes what's most challenging about writing the E-Mail fascinatingly enough is coming up with the weekly title. Hashem doesn't always give me that as easily as the "vort" He sends me. He likes it when I play around with it for a while. He likes to see me work for it. It's not always easy however crunching the tens of pages of Dvar Torah, jokes, sarcasm, and inspiration into a few word headline. The title has to be catchy. It has to hopefully even be a bit cute, Maybe a play on words or a familiar catchphrase, movie, TV, music, book title paraphrased, "jewishized" that draws you in to the long arduous task before you of the pages to come (unless you just plan on skipping to the Jokes section). But most of all it has to encapsulate the essence of the Dvar Torah to come. The idea I want to share. The upcoming lifechanging E-Mail and insight and inspiration that you are about to read.
See, despite what they tell you about not judging a book by its cover, every good marketer knows that we all do that. There's a lot of books out there competing for our perusal and purchase, yet it's the one with the coolest cover that inevitably will be the one that we pick up and start browsing through. It's why I put my cute smiling mug on the face of all of the books I've authored. I saw that it worked for Rav Galinsky, So why not? And he's not even wearing shorts and a T-Shirt. Yet, even once I got you to pick up the book, inevitably inside they all look the same. It's words on a page. So the next thing we do is look at the title, the different chapters. If the name catches us. It sounds cute, it sounds interesting, it grabs me then perhaps you might even move to the next level. You might start reading it. Once that happens, I've got you. You're mine. It's a short walk to the register. You're the proud owner of "Tour Torah" or one of the two "Rabbi Schwartz's Most Enjoyable Book You'll ever Read about Pesach". And I can pay some more bills for my Shul. Best of all of course is that you are inspired to finally make Aliyah a few months later…
Now the truth is when it comes to our Torah portions Hashem doesn't really do Titles. The names that we have for our parshiyot were not given to us on Sinai. They didn't have them in their scrolls, they're not even there today in our Sefer Torah. Where do they come from? Well according to the ChatGPT'er Rebbe search, (he's recently replaced Rabbi Google, although he's a lot less reliable and lies openly to me on a regular basis, but at least I can yell at him), the earliest source dates back to the Baal Halachos Gedolos in the 8th century. The Talmud does sometimes refer to a parsha by its' first words but certainly not in the way that we do.
Yet, despite the fact that the title of the parsha wasn't given to us at Sinai and was not even in use in the Temple or even post Temple period or prophetic period, yet we have a rule that even if the Children of Israel aren't prophets, we are the children of prophets. Our customs, our habits, the things that become common place amongst the Holy nation of Hashem has Divine revelation aspect to it. Like dancing on Simchas Torah, blessing our children Friday night, getting drunk on Purim, eating chulent on Shabbos and making a bonfire on Lag Ba'Omer. If you're not sure about what the law is in a certain place just go out and check what the "oilam" is doing our sages. We have an innate sense and connection to the Divine.
On that note, our sages throughout the generations came up with titles, kind of like I do for each of the parshiyot. A fun exercise to engage in is to examine each parsha keeping in mind it's title. Somehow it will connect to everything in the parsha. It's the title after all. It's a prophecy for that matter. And in doing so, particularly as we enter into this last stretch of 6 parshas, the titles themselves read almost like a sentence. It's a mapquest to where we're heading. It's a straight line to "V'zos Ha'Bracha" that we will read on Simcha Torah and begin the cycle all again.
This week, the parsha is "Ki Teitzei"- when you will go out. Next week is "Ki Tavo"- when we come in, when we return to the land. The week after is "Nitzavim"- we're standing there. "Vayeilech"- we're walking in. "Ha'azinu"- Hear. Listen. Can you internalize that amazing sound. "V'Zos Ha'Bracha"- we have finally received the blessing. It's here. We've come to the end. It's "Bereishis"- again. It's a new beginning. We're back in the Garden. Amazing and cool isn't it? Kind of makes you want to check out these chapters. This book. See how important a title is…
Let's start with this week's parsha. The title is "When you Will Go Out" is referring to war, and echoes the same language of last week when it discussed the mitzvos of war. Which of course would then beg the question as to why is this the start of a new parsha? As well, the words "ki teitzei" seem extraneous. Last week it tells us about ki tatzur- when we siege or when we go to battle obviously one goes out to war. And obviously that is against our enemy. Would we be going out to war against some one who isn't our enemy? The answer to all of the above it would seem is that these words were meant to be a title of a new parsha. A new chapter. There's one theme here and it starts with this first mitzva. The mitzva of Yefat Tohar- that one is permitted to take a woman he desires and takes captive as his wife.
Now of all of the parshiyos. This would seem to be a hard parsha to come up with a common theme. The mitzvos are all over the map. It's in fact the Torah portion with the most mitzvos in it. 72 in all. Yet they all have to do with Ki Teitzei. They all have to do with "going out". They all are the perquisite to "Ki Tavo"- Our coming in. It's what we need to hear read and understand before we come to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. It's the way we get to the Bracha and finish the Book.
Do you know what war does to us? I'm sitting here on a plane heading now as I write this, heading out to my brother who is making a Bar Mitzva this weekend in Norfolk, for my nephew Chaim'l. Generally I don't like flying out of Israel. I like it here. I relish in the notion that every second I walk around this country, I'm getting a mitzva. It's like Sukkos all year round here and we're living in a Sukkah. When we eat, we sleep, we go to the bathroom, we read, we swim, we hike or we just chill out in the backyard and certainly when we're doing business and building and developing the land, of all of the above we're getting reward. We're spiritual billionaires by merely breathing the air in this country. That rocks! Why would I want to leave?
As well of course I'm living in the land where my ancestors dreamed of coming to for millennia. The place where they davened three times a day to be able to come live in, and that some Jews today pretend to daven for as well, It's literally the palace of the King. The only place in the World, that Hashem tells us He watches all day and all night from the beginning of the year until the end. I mean it's a bit scary everywhere else, where you're always living with that nervousness that Hashem might just turn away for a second or two, for a commercial break, or because He's annoyed that His children are too comfortable over there and then Boom! 6 million Jews later, He comes back again. And we've got some new Kinnos to add to our already long Tisha B'Av service and a few more Holocaust museums and monuments to show for it.
Yeah… I don't like leaving Israel. I don't like flying much for that matter either. But now? Today? To be honest, I kind of want to get away. It's been a rough war. It's been a rough 700 days. It's been rough on my family, my wife, my kids, my country, our boys. People are angry. People are suffering. There are not enough Mental health professionals in the world, I believe to deal with the trauma, and stress and illness going around here. Do you know what I want to do. I just want to leave. Want to escape. I just would like to "go out". And whatdaya know? Hello Parshat Ki Teitzei. Welcome to the parsha of learning the Torah of understanding how to "go out".
War is a time of such intensity, of such stress, anf unfortunately as well of such tragedy, that there becomes an almost uncontrollable desire to escape from it all. For the soldier to just want to run away with that pretty girl he saw on the battlefield and throw it all away. It's too hard to keep going. It's too painful. I just want to "go out'. I don't want the job anymore. I want it to be over. I want to go to America.
It's not only war though. It's challenge after challenge in our incredible parsha. It's the guy who's having problems with his wife. He loves her sometimes; he hates her others. She has children. Some he loves, some not so much. His house is in chaos. He has children going off the deep end. There's crime on the street. You look around the streets. It seems like everyone is going crazy. People are losing it. They're losing their oxen, their parnassa, they're collapsing under the weight of their burdens. Mother birds are circling and crying while their children are being taken away. You feel like you're in a crazy house, a horror movie. Men in women's clothes and vice versa, your surrounded by licentiousness, by people bringing sacrifices and prayers that are an abomination. People are biting each other interest rates are through the roof. You feel as if Hashem is not there and that even if He is you just want to get away from Him and this pain and world. And it is then and there where the Torah tells us and where Hashem prepares us for with the task of finding Him and coming back home.
Bring her into your house, Hashem says. Watch her mourn her father and mother. Understand that you will not be complete by running away. You can't "go out". You need instead to "come in". You need to Ki tavo. There is no running away. The parsha uses those two words repeatedly "lo tuchal" you're "not able" . You can't run away with this girl. You can't ignore your children, your wife, your daughter. You can't hide your eyes from your brother, from his plight, from his lost object, from his monetary troubles. You can't ignore crime in your street, abuse that cries out in field. We're not Moabites or Amonnites that ignore the plight of our nation. We can't ignore the world problems. The world won't let us. They'll blame us for it. It will be all over the media. There's no place to go. There's no where to run.
Even when we go to the bathroom the parsha tells us. Ki teitze al machenecha- the one place where we thought we could run away to and disappear for a little bit of peace and quiet and escapism. Even there Hashem tells us vi'haya machenecha kadosh. He's there as well. He is mithalech b'kerev machanecha- walking amongst us, even there. There's nowhere to go. There is no escape. Hashem is with us. The world and the promised land that we are going to enter next week in Ki Tavo is first preceded by an understanding and a sense and strong urge of Ki teitzei to understand that our job is to win that war against that yetzer hara, our enemy. Each of our individual's inclination and desire to escape in some capacity. We have to know, Hashem tells us, that we can't run and we can't hide. We need to face it. We need to see Him there. Because the more we run, the more it will catch up and get worse and worse. On the other hand, the parsha tells us that the more that we embrace and see Hashem. When we see that He is the Mother bird that is circling that nest of her children. That there is no karcha ba'derech- the world is not just happening by itself. There's a Divine Conductor in this orchestra of life that we are part of. He's a good conductor. He knows what He's doing. He's going to bring it all home in the end. He's going to "Bring them all Home" very soon. Ki Tavo follows that Ki Teitzei. It comes as soon as we stop trying to run away and we choose and decide to come home.
Our parsha ends with the command to wipe out Amalek. Amalek, our sages tell us name and title defines him. "Am – Malak"- a disconnected nation. The battle of Amalek is when it is karcha ba'derech- when we don't see Hashem traveling the road with us. When we are escaping and distanced from Him. When we are fighting and don't see Hashem and don't want to see Him in anyone or in anything that is going on. Not in our streets, our fields, our families, our neighbors, certainly not the ones that aren't like me. Not in Yerushalayim. We're not a nation. We're disconnected. We're escaping one another. Escaping to war, in war. Escaping to the Beit Midrash. To America. We're escaping. Amalek, has disconnected us. They've divided us. From Hashem, from one another, from our land. From coming home. The end of Ki Teitzei- what an amazingly titled parsha-is to wipe out the nation that is the cause and drive of disconnection. To totally eradicate any remnant of that disconnection. To fully understand and see our nation as one, Hashem as One. To see all of us together. It is then when we can Ki Tavo. It's then we can come home and inherit the land.
This is the first step in that avoda of Elul and it continues in the coming parshiyot titles. After we enter together in Ki Tavo. We will stand and walk hand in hand with Nitzavim and Vayelech. The parshiyot we read before Yom Kippur. We have Kinged Hashem and we are one. We stand before Him. The reading of Yom Kippur is all about being in the presence of Hashem. Not wanting to escape. Shivti B'veis Hashem kol yemei chayai- to always be in His House. To be the Kohen Gadol in the Holy of Holies. We read on Yom Kippur about Yonah, who thought He could run away, but learnt that he couldn't. That a Father is always there. That there's no place better than Home. It's the only destination. It's the only place where we will find peace. It's there where the bracha is. It's there where the dance of Simcha with the Torah will take place.
So we should be landing soon. I'm flying United. It's an "in and out" flight. Ki Teitizei and Ki Tavo. There's a symbolism in that. I thought I was escaping, but the truth is I'm already feeling homesick. I'm ready to turn around. My neighbor asked me as I was leaving my house where I was going. I told them to America, to bring all my brothers and sisters home. I figure Mashiach hasn't come yet, so somebody's gotta do the job. Yet, the truth is it's really not just you that need to be brought home. It's me as well. We all have our own work in connecting. In finding Hashem. In stopping to try to escape our struggles and challenges. To not be enticed by the pretty things on the battlefield of life, that are just fleeting. That won't bring us joy. That won't bring us home. Amalek is almost destroyed I keep reading in the papers. The war is almost over. If we each focus on bringing ourselves home, then Im Yirtzeh Hashem, we will all be able to come home mamash next week.
Have a homey connected Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Arein iz di tir brait, un arois iz zi shmol."-, The door to evil-doing is wide, but the return gate is narrow..
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
33. The primary agricultural crop along the Syrian-African Rift in Israel is: ______
Which of the following currently holds ownership of the Dead Sea Works
(ICL Group)?
A. A foreign company from China
B. Full government ownership
C. Kibbutz Ein Gedi
D. Private and government co-ownership
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey –My most beautiful Elul L'Dovid Composition. This song is the whole month. LULAY with the amazing Dovid Lowy on vocals and arrangements!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW5eR8nevO8&list=RDpW5eR8nevO8&start_radio=1 – Shuli Rand HA'Melech Ba'Sadeh brand new!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1uDyrpvZcs&list=RDh1uDyrpvZcs&start_radio=1 – Naftali Kempeh – K'Hodata
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjVP85ttKp8&list=RDAjVP85ttKp8&start_radio=1 – Baruch Levine's latest really awesome album for Elul expanded… Th Elul song!
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
It's over. The return to Egypt and the End - 568 BC - It didn't take long for us to run away. After the death of Gedalia, the Jews led by Yochanan ben Karayach feared for the vengeance of Nevuchadnezzar for having killed his representative and appointed regent. Now despite the fact that the one that killed him Yishmael ben Netanya was killed and punished by us being held accountable for his actions. Yet, we Jews no that the goyim don't differentiate and thus they feared to remain in Israel. They turned to Yirmiyahu Hanavi and asked him to find out what Hashem wanted them to do.
This is as well a fascinating story in Navi. For here we have a classic Jewish example of us asking for "daas Torah" for what Hashem wants us to do. But the truth is we already knew what we wanted to do. We just wanted Hashem's shtempeleh on our decision. That doesn't work though Hashem tells Yirmiyahu after he fasted 10 days and davened that we should stay in Israel. Hashem would protect us. We were good to go! We had nothing to fear… The opposite in fact. If we go to down Egypt, then there will die. There Nevuchadnezzar will come. He will kill us. There will be famine, there will be plague. Don't go to Egypt. Stay here in Eretz Yisrael. Hashem wants us around still. But we don't listen. Perhaps we never even wanted to listen in the first place. It's hard to live and move in Eretz Yisrael. Egypt is too enticing. We went through too much trauma. Too much tragedy. Too much hiddenness of Hashem. We wanted to escape. We wanted to get out. We wanted some where new. Somewhere that wasn't Eretz Yisrael.
And so we left. We took Yimiyahu with us and his student Baruch and less 20 years later all of those tragic prophecies took place. Nevuchadnezzar came to Egypt and killed them, many died in plagues and famine. The community of Egypt was ultimately destroyed. Even Yirmiyahu himself tradition has it was buried and possibly even killed and stoned by his brothers in Cairo. There are those that visit his grave there until today.
Thus ends the story of the Jews in Exile. We begin next week with the return of the Jews and the next era of our nations history. The Persian period. The nation of Iran.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE TITLE JOKES OF THE WEEK
I bought a book titled “How to Solve Half Your Problems.” I read it twice, now I’m problem free.
I got a book titled ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’+. I opened it up and the appendix was missing.
Shaindel answers the door and a door to door salesman is standing there and asks her
"Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?
Shaindel - "Why on earth would I buy a book like that?"
Salesman – "Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today..."
Book titles and authors: Don’t fall off the cliff . By Ilene Dover
The strangest thing happened to me on the train today. Found a book titled “How to increase your Memory Power” left behind on a seat. Now, that’s irony!
Chani gets up in the morning wakes up her husband and says:
" Chaim, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?"
Chaim answers: "- You'll find out on your birthday."
Chani's birthday arrives and Chaim enters the house with a package in his hand. Excited, she takes it from his hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."
I got a great deal and paid only $6 for a book titled “100 Truly Disgusting Jokes.” If you break it down per joke, I only paid for the author’s 6 cents of humor.
I just bought a book titled "What They Don't Teach You About Computer Science", Its literally just about anger management
I bought the book titled "How to beat procrastination" to fix my procrastinating habit. It's been 5 months already and I haven't opened that book yet.
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The answer to this week”s question is D- Ok! The exam is over. I finished and even got the last one right… It was pretty easy. I mean everyone that has driven down the Jordan Valley knows that it’s the place where date Palms grow. The city of Yericho is of course the city of Tamarim. As is the entire Rift. The second part as well I got correct. As although the Dead Se works which is arguably one of the most corrupt entities in Israel for years, was finally ordered to jointly work and share ownership with the government. It seems that they wanted a piece of that action as well. So D is the correct answer and thus my final score for this exam is Rabbi Schwartz 20.5 Ministry of Tourism 12.5 on this exam so far.
That would make my grade final about 63% which means I pass still!!! Whoo hoo… As a 60 is all you require. Now the truth is I really got more than that. Because you only have to answer 30 questions. And If I deduct them from the ones I got wrong I would get a 69% a little better but still my worst score ever. Yet even that score is tempered down because the exam also consists of longer essay and itinerary planning Part B. But this was defintily a close exam. Lets start next week with the newest one! At least I'm still in the game 13 years later…
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