from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
November 14th 2025 -Volume
15 Issue 4 23rd of Cheshvan 5786
Missing Mom
I miss my mother, and it's not just her
cooking. Aliza, pretty much has me covered on that front. I made sure of that
before I married her and she hasn't let me down. I don't think I have ever gone
this long in my 54 years of life without my parents coming and visiting us.
There's three great-grandchildren they never even met! First we had this Corona
thing which kind of shut down any plans they had and then just when it was
getting quiet again we had this war thingamajiggy break out. Sure, I've been
back to the States here and there. But still it's not the same as having Mom
(and Dad) coming over here and being in my house. In our country. Together here
in the Holy Land. Sharing in our family simchas here….
Don't get me wrong, I was never a homesick
kind of kid. Hey, I went to sleepaway camp for a month when I was 6 years old
and that's only because they wouldn't accept me when I was 5. Neither was I was
ever a Momma's boy, my mother made sure of that, and that's despite the fact
that I'm her favorite child (it's a good thing my sisters don't read my
E-Mails), although Gedalia is good competition. It's also not like we don't
talk at least once a week either, we even facetime sometimes-although I'm not a
fan. But it's not the same. Truth is I don't even know why it's not the same.
She generally will scold me the same, will get emotional and even choked with
tears when she tells me she loves me and gives me those important reminders to
brush my teeth, take care of my health and remember to say shema at
night before I go to sleep. It's not even the hugs and kisses. I'm not such a
family hugger… They're generally too emotional. There's just something about being
in her presence. In both of my parent's presence-despite all of our usual
fights and arguments, that is missing and the longing to see them again just
grows stronger and stronger each day and each month…
OK now that I made my mother cry in the first two
paragraphs, let's move on to the parsha which really gives us the essence of
Jewish motherhood and the relationship between boys and their mothers.
After-all it is the parsha titled after the first Jewish mother ever; Chayei
Sarah- the life of Sarah. It seems the perfect book to buy and read to find out
all we need to know about Jewish motherhood; the life and times of Sarah. Yet,
quite the opposite. The second verse in already tells us that she died. That
was quick. Short book. I want a refund. But Hashem doesn't give refunds. Now
although the divisions and certainly the titles of the parshiyot were not given
by Hashem, all Jewish traditions and certainly those that have to do with the
study of Torah that for millennia have utilized these titles exist because of
Divine inspiration. For generations the titles of each sedra were understood to
define the entire theme of the parsha. If that is the case maybe we should flip
a few more pages of the book that seems to us should've more aptly been
"The life without Sarah" and find out what we are missing.
The first part of the story is all about her
burial, and the elongated story of Avraham's negotiations to purchase the Cave
of Machpela for her burial. True, the Torah tells us that Avraham eulogized
Sarah and the Midrash Tanchuma even tells us that his eulogy was based on the
Eishet Chayil that we sing every Friday Night-how each verse applies to
everything in her life. But the Torah itself doesn't really tell us much about
Sarah.
The next part and bulk of the parsha is all
about Avraham swearing his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchak, (who
seemingly missed his Mom's funeral) and who has kind of disappeared since the
Akeida. We have the elongated and repetitive story of Eliezer testing and
finding Rivka, the negotiations with Lavan and Besuel and them blessing her as
she leaves (*Don't miss the great song I composed in honor of my sister Rivky's
wedding with that blessing down below) They meet Yitzchak and brings her back
to his Mother's tent. This is the majority of the parsha and it seems it should
more appropriately be called the "Chayei Rivka" then of Sarah.
The last piece of the Parsha as well doesn't
seem to have any Sarah action in it either. We are told of Avraham's remarriage
to Ketura-who Chazal tells us is Hagar. The children he has with her and his
sending them away as well. Finally, we have Avraham's death and burial by
Yitzchak and Yishmael and then all the descendants of Yishmael. There's more
Chayei Hagar and Chayei Yishmael there than Chayei Sarah and frankly to most of
us it doesn’t really seem to interesting. We bought this book to find out about
our mother, not our cousin's family. I would've gone to a book store in Ramallah
for that.
There is a game I like to play with my
tourists when I talk to them about Jerusalem. I tell them that our sages tell
us that there is heavenly city of Jerusalem that directly corresponds to the
one that is down here, and that I can prove it to them. I ask them how to say
hand in Hebrew- they say "yad". How do you say two hands? "Yadayim!"
they say very excitedly, surprisingly proud of themselves that they know
something most kindergarteners know. How do you say foot, I continue?
"Regel!" Two feet? "Raglayim!" Eye? "Ayin!".
Two eyes? " Einayim!" Ear? "Ozen…" they reply
getting sick of this game already. OK…two ears? Oznayim- now they are
really getting bored. So I switch it up and ask how they say Jerusalem in
Hebrew? And they say of course Yerushalayim. And I tell them they are
wrong…"What?!" They check my Kippa to make sure it really is black
velvet (the only kosher kind). So I show them how in the Torah it says it is
called Yeru-shalem. What does Yerushal-AYIM mean? Well now they
know it means two. The "ayim" suffix makes something plural.
This is to teach us that there are two a Jerusalem down here and a Jerusalem up
above. Walla! As we say in Hebrew…
There is another word that is really just as
reflective and insightful once you have this priniciple down pat. How do we say
life in Hebrew. Again seemingly easy but wrong. I imagine most of you would say
chayim. Like when we drink, we say ""l'chaim" to
life. Except that the word life has the "ayim" suffix" to it as
well. chayim means lives. Two of them. The one in this world and the one
in the afterworld. In fact, there is no word for a singular life in Hebrew.
Chai- means alive it doesn't mean life. Whenever we talk about a life, we talk
about it in the plural. It's always a doubled life. It's the life we have while
we are here and the life that continues on after we leave this physical world
that we put in place and are still connected to even after we're gone. Our
sages tell us that the righteous even after they pass are called living. Our
parsha is called Chayei Sarah because it is the lives of Sarah, for it is the
story of the life of Sarah that live on even when she wasn't close enough to
hug anymore.
The eternal life of Sarah starts at Mea'arat
Hamachpela- the doubled cave. But it's not just the cave that is "machpela-
doubled". It is in the field of Machpela that is in the area referred to
as Machpela. machpela means double. It will be the beit hachayim-
the house of life, of two lives; the one where the physical ends and the
eternal one begins. There is no more appropriate place to start our book about
Sarah than at the purchase of Machpela for that will be the symbol that she
lives on even in her departing from this physical world.
The parsha continues with Sarah's life in the
finding of the spouse for her son Yitzchak. This entire story is finding someone
that will fill the tent of Sarah with her light once again. Avraham realizes
that he needs someone as close as Sarah as he can get to light that light of
Sarah so he makes Eliezer swear and travel in order for him to find that
"mother".
When Yitzchak finds Rivkah the verse tells us
his reaction in such incredible terms.
Bereshit (24:67) And Yitzchak brought her to
the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rebecca, and she became his wife, and
he loved her. And Yitzchak was comforted for [the loss of] his mother.
Sarah lives in Rivkah. Her tent lives. This is
after all parshat Chayei Sarah. If you aren't sure, then take a look at
Rashi
He brought her into the tent and she became
exactly like his mother Sarah — that is to say, the words signify as much as,
[And he brought her into the tent] and, behold, she was Sarah, his mother).
Do you know how they say that you marry
someone like your mother? Yitzchak certainly did. The three miracles that Sarah
had in her tent of a light from Shabbos to Shabbos, that there was a blessing
that could be tasted in her bread and that there was a heavenly cloud always
present for protection are the symbols and correspond to the specific mitzvos
of a woman, of a mother. Sarah had passed away for three years yet Yitzchak had
not been consoled. Rashi again tells us this is the way it's meant to be, which
seems strange as we know that someone who dies the mourning ends after a year.
But Rashi says a fascinating eternal insight.
It is derech Eretz- the natural (and
proper way) that while a man’s mother is living for him to be karuch- wrapped
up in her. But when she dies he finds comfort in his wife.
I saw a beautiful insight in the sefer
Hamisulaim Mipaz- that writes that although when a man gets married the Torah
tells us that he leaves his father and mother and is davak-cleaves to his wife,
that does not negate that he is still wrapped up karuch-like the word korech by
our Pesach sandwich- with his mother. His wife is the person that he becomes
one with. They will build a unit and a family together. That bond of being one
with his mother who fed him, cared for him, worried about him and strengthened
him will be replaced with his wife. But his mother will still be wrapped into
everything he does. She is the one he turns to for that wisdom of his youth,
for the insight that only she can provide him with as no one knows him better.
No one cares as much in his heart. She is not one with him, she is not davak,
but she is that external force that is wrapped around all he does. She lives in
him, even though she is not with him.
It's fascinating when you think about it. None
of our Matriarchs had shviggers (mother-in-laws). They missed out on
that wonderful aspect of married life for a new young bride. The reason perhaps
is precisely as explained above. Each one of them were a continuation of the
light of the previous generation. Each one's husband was fully theirs and there
was no mother wrapped up in their relationship. They inherited the light and
filled the tent with that same wisdom and light that the ones before them did.
But as our book on the life of Sarah concludes
it reveals that Sarah is not just the mother of Yitzchak. Sarah has other
"children". Her prize student Hagar- for she wouldn't give Avraham
any less and Hagar's son Yishmael, whose entire existence because Sara was his
mother's shadchan. She raised the two of them to such a high level that they
both even saw and communicated with angels. She's also the "mother"
of Hagar who she sent away and is now brought back to Avraham. They both return
to the fold after being sent away for their own good. It certainly pained Sarah
as much as it did Avraham. But she knew what they needed-as Jewish mothers
always do. And the conclusion of the parsha of the life of Sarah that these
children as well return. Hagar, now Ketura remarries Avraham. She is called
Ketura because like incense she was lit with the flame and the holy spirit of
Sarah now emanates from her. And Yishmael returns to bury his father Avraham
with Yitzchak allowing Yitzchak to go first, for he had done teshuva. The
teshuva of Yishmael is so great that we find there are great sages in the
Mishna that are named for him. Again the life of Sarah lives on. She is the
first of our Imahos and she is the light that is shines eternally in every
Jewish mother since.
There is perhaps no stereotype out there like
the Jewish Mother. They truly are all the same. They are the same because they
all carry the light of Sarah that they shine into their children. It's in their
DNA. They worry about that light more than any other mother, and that light
shines even if they're not close enough to hug us. We have our own spouses,
children, family and friends to cleave to and give us the hugs and make us the
food and build our tents with us. But I relate to Yitzchak who missed his
mother. Baruch Hashem mine is well and healthy, as she always is, thank God
until 120. It's not Mother's Day this week. We never did that in my family, as
every day is Mother's Day. But Thanksgiving is coming up in some
countries-although we were never too strict about that either, and so I'll use
this week's E-mail to just say thank you Mom… I miss you…and hope to see you
soon oif simchas…
Have a perfectly amazing Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
************************
YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Di varemsteh bet is di mamehs."- The warmest
bed is mother’s…"
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
7. The name of
the capital city of the Abbasid dynasty is _____________
What is the
"Treaty of Jaffa"?
A. Treaty
between the Crusaders and the Muslims
B. Treaty
between the Byzantines and the Muslims
C. Treaty
between the Mamluks and the Ottomans
D. Treaty
between the Ottomans and the British
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah
– My sister Rivky thinks this is
my nicest composition. It was her chuppa song so that makes sense. Yitzy Berry
did an awesome job and I dare you to listen and not get moved by this special Bracha
that Lavan gave Rivka in this week's parsha… and we do so by every Chasuna..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeNbxITuM50
– A
beautiful new release from Ari Goldwag Zamer singing the song of Torah and
sweetness…!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mThU6MnnxI&list=RD3mThU6MnnxI&start_radio=1
–
Ahrele Samet and Naftali Kempeh- Cholas Ahava- I can see this being the
next wedding song yeshivish guys in Israel at least are singing…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdAO_jD3qoU&list=RDRdAO_jD3qoU&start_radio=1 – Avraham Fried's and Meieich Braunstein latest
Barcheinu!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUB0p9r87uA
– Gorgeous
Aharon Razel and yeshiva Maalei Adumim for all of our soldiers and wounde
L'Olam Odecha
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR
PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
I Had a Dream- 562 BC – As we said last week, Nevuchadnezzar was exiled from his
throne for 7 years and made to wander in the jungle like a animal in
fulfillment of the dream he had and prophecy of Daniel. This was made to
humble him successfully and for him to recognize Hashem, which he did. Nothing
like turning these guys into the animals they behave like to knock a little God
fearing into them. While he's away the mice begin to play his son Avel (or
Evil) Merodach takes the kingdom and rules in his place. When he comes back
from his exile a Baal Teshuva- so to speak, he's not a happy camper so he
chucks him in jail. Nice….
When Nevuchadnezzar dies his little
boychik comes out of jail and tries to retake that throne. But the oilam isn't
too happy with that. They're scared that Nevuchadnezzar will come back
again. He's kind of like strep throat. Like the Crusaders, Like Chamas.
Like Hezballah. Like all of our enemies. They're the gift that keeps on
giving. So they don't want to inaugurate him for fear of what he would do to
them if he comes back. Left with no choice Avel goes ahead and pulls out
some iron chains digs up Daddy Nevuchadnezzar and then has him chucked
in front of the people's feet. He's dead.
The people get up and start singing and dancing.
"Ding Dong the King is dead… ". They shoot firework and hand
out baklava. They coronate Avel as their new king and times are good for
Bavel/Iraq. The Jews also it seems want to get a piece of this action
and good will and Daniel coddles up to Avel and begins to advise
him to free all of the prisoners in honor of the occasion. In order to show
he's not the previous administration. Give Yehoyachin, the former King
of Yehuda who had been sitting in jail for 37 years a pardon. Let them go! And
whadaya know? It works!
Isn't it amazing how much of this Navi column
ties into modern day things going on in the world. Current events. This past
week, the table turned. Trump, the world leader, turns to the Jewish government
and state of Israel and ask the president to pardon, Bibi- Melech Yisrael-
the "King of Yehuda". Let's see if that works… or are the
goyim more inclined to pardon then we are…?
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE
JEWISH MOTHER JOKES OF THE WEEK
LESSONS MY JEWISH MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me TO
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you two are going
to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me
RELIGION:
"You better pray that
stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't behave,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so,
that's why."
My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll
*give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about
the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and
eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at
the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about
STAMINA:
"You'll sit there
'till all your spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about
WEATHER:
"It looks as if a
tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you
once, I've told you a million times – Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your
father!"
My mother taught me about
ENVY:
"There are millions of
less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do!"
During a regular early morning shul service,
Rabbi Levy couldn't help noticing 21 year old Benny sitting at the back of the
shul looking very sad. He had his head in his hands. So at a convenient moment,
Rabbi Levy goes over to him and asks, "What's wrong, Benny? Tell me.
Maybe I can help."
"Oh rabbi," replies Benny, "I just don't know what to do.
Every time I bring a girl home to introduce her to my parents, no matter how
wonderful the girl is, my mother always tells me that she does not like her at
all."
"I've heard this
story many times before," says Rabbi Levy, "but you'll be
pleased to hear that I have a tried and tested solution for you. Next time you
choose a girl, make sure she not only looks just like your mother, but also
talks like your mother, laughs like your mother, cooks like your mother, and
dresses like your mother. Believe me, Benny, if you find such a girl, your
mother will absolutely love her."
Many weeks go by before
Benny finds someone just like his mother. And not only that, but the girl very
quickly falls madly in love with him. So Benny invites her to meet his parents
and this time is feeling very optimistic that all will go well.
At the next shul service,
Rabbi Levy notices that Benny is once again sitting at the back of the shul
looking unbelievably unhappy. So once again, during a break in the service,
Rabbi Levy goes over to Benny. "What's wrong Benny?" asks
Rabbi Levy. "Couldn't you find someone like your mother?"
"Rabbi," replies Benny, "miraculously, I found a girl
just like my Mom. Not only did she look just like Mom, but she also talked like
Mom, laughed like Mom, cooked like Mom, and dressed like Mom."
"So everything
should have worked out okay for you," says Rabbi Levy.
"No, rabbi, it
didn't," replies Benny. "My
father didn't like her."
As a fundraiser the local
Hebrew School decided to hold a talent show for the community. The night of the
show finally arrived and the auditorium was packed with community people. Judy
Goldberg looked on her as her pride and joy Chezky was playing piano and
singing his beautiful composed Ani Maamin. During her performance she noticed a
man in the audience clearly moved and crying.
After the show she walks
over to him and says "isn't it touching that the younger generation is
carrying on our tradition?"
The man says "I
don't know I'm not Jewish".
"So why were you
crying?" she asks him.
"Oh that's because
I am a musician"
A man is laying on the operating table, about
to be operated on by his son, the surgeon. The son reassures his nevous father
that there is nothing to worry about. It's a simple procedure that he has done
many times before.
The father says, "Son,
think of it this way ... If anything
happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you."
A young Jewish man
excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He
says, "Just for fun, Mom, I'm going to bring over three women and you
try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees. The next
day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the
couch and they chat for a while. He then says,
"Okay, Mom. Guess
which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies,
"The red-head in the middle."
"That's amazing,
Mom. You're right. How did you know?"
"I don't like
her."
It was a terrible night,
blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and
the local baker was just about to close up shop when Bernie slipped through the
door. He carried an umbrella, blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters
and a thick coat. But even so he still looked wet and bedraggled.
As Bernie unwound his scarf
he said to the baker, "May I have two bagels to go, please?"
The baker said in
astonishment, "Two bagels? Nothing more?"
"That's
right," answered Bernie, "One
for me and one for Bernice."
"Bernice is your
wife?" asked the baker.
"What do you think,"
snapped Bernie, " would my mother would send me out on a night like
this?"
A Jewish mother is walking
down the street with her two young sons.
A passerby asks her how old
the boys are.
"The doctor is
three," the mother answers, "and the lawyer is two."
The answer to this week's
question is A – Well, it took 7
weeks until I got my first one totally wrong. Muslim stuff isn't really my
thing. So I guessed Mecca and the correct answer was Baghdad. I really don't
care. The treaty of Jaffa I probably should've known. The treaty between the
Crusaders and the Muslims is pretty important. But I really wasn't thinking
much and went with Turks instead. I probably would've skipped this question on
the exam, as you're allowed to skip 5 q's. So this one was my first one wrong. And
the new score is Rabbi Schwartz having a 5 point and the MOT
having 2 point on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.
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