from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
April 16th 2026 -Volume 16 Issue 25 30th of Nissan 5786
Sounds of Sinai with Farmer Schwartz
I needed to get away. I'm warred out, but even worse than being warred out is being cease-fired out. Really. I'm the guy who just wants to rip off the band-aid and be done with it. I'll pay extra for something to get done right, just so I don't have to deal with all of the headache and hassle to do it again and again and go back and go back. I don't like to wait on lines. It's why I become friends very quickly with the people that can skip me and my tourists those lines, which is nice. I love fast food. I want things over, done, quick. Cease fires are the opposite of that. It's just prolonging the pain. And it's really annoying…
Mashiach was supposed to come this Pesach, wasn't he? I thought I read this in a very popular weekly E-Mail, that usually gets things right. So what happened? Why didn't he come? How did you mess this up for me? It wasn't my fault he didn't come. It wasn't my fault Trump didn't just Gog and Magog them to Gehenom. I stood at my doorpost Seder night and yelled out Shefoch Chamascha (emphasis on Chamas) to Hashem when I opened up the door for Eliyahu Ha'Navi. By the way, it's particularly cool to yell that out when there are F16's flying over your head on their way to Lebanon to do exactly that, while you're saying it… Fascinating enough, I saw the Mishna Berura, who was not that much into segulas and Chasidic stuff, in only one place brings down a segula to bring Mashaich. He says it right here, about opening up the door for Eliyahu and saying pour out your wrath on all your enemies to Hashem, in a very loud voice. So that your neighbors in Jackson and Brookly hear you. I did that this year… I guess one of you didn't. Thank You… Ceasefire…
So, I needed to get away. I'm sick of missiles and sirens. Yeah, even worse than a ceasefire is the fact that it only means we have to stop shooting. Meanwhile sirens still going off in Karmiel. Mashiach didn't come. I have no tourists or work. I'm pretty much finished with my next upcoming Books first draft (stay tuned for War Torah ads and promos coming your way…). I can't even go to my gym because they don't have a shelter. And to be honest I'm even soldiered out already… I needed to get away. But where? And to do what?
So that's how I found myself in middle of nowhere for the past few days. Sof Ha'Olam as they say in Hebrew, the end of the world. I'm here in a field by the border of Sinai, in a place called Be'er Milka, by a friend of mine, Gal, who has a farm here on the edge of the desert. There really hasn't been much of a war here. I think the entire past few years, they've perhaps only had two or three sirens. It's menutak- disconnected. Chutz la'machaneh- outside of the camp. There's barely even any cell or internet service. It's the place to come to when you want to be alone. It's the place to learn that as a yid you really never are.
I've spent the past week helping him along with Gavriel, who lives out there in a small trailer alone, taking care of his vineyards. Gal lives in the Yishuv with his large family 10 minutes away while, Gavriel, though is by himself and this week I joined him to tap into some of that incredible quiet and solitude that only the Midbar can provide. There truly is nothing like it.
Each morning I wake before sunrise and just walk around and marvel at the quiet, the one-ness of the universe. The vastness of the sky, the stars and watch the rising sunrise as I daven. It's being one with Creation. With my Creator. After breakfast and some learning it's out to the fields. It's cutting weeds with the chermesh, the electric weedwhacker, which is kind of fun. Even more than that, I would say it's kind of holy. As I knock down those weeds, I keep hearing the verses in my head of how Hashem will and should destroy our enemies, evil like weeds. On Rosh Hashana we dip an apple in honey as a sign for a sweet year. Some eat dates or leeks or carrots as a sign that Hashem should wipe karsi- destroy, tamar- eradicate, gezer- cut down – our enemies. I found the weedwhacker to be a much more powerful image and siman. Very therapeutic too…smacking down all of those Hamas, Hezbollah and Iranian weeds.
It's then the pruning of the grape vines time. Leaf after leaf. Cutting off the bad ones. Watching and nurturing the vines and strengthening them. Making them beautiful clean and pure. Imagining the grapes that will be here in a few weeks fully ripe and the wine that will come from them. I picture that wine of Sinai being poured on the mizbayach. I say psalms of King David as I work. Actually, I don't even say them, they just come flowing out of my heart and soul. I'm one with Hashem here helping to settle and make green his desert. I'm bringing life to it. I'm watching it being born. We're partners here Hashem and I. He's letting me partner with Him, in this incredible act of creation, that we take for granted each time we go into the grocery store. But here it's the delivery room of the birth of the holy produce of Hashem. And I'm one with it.
As I work and I sweat, it's hot down here, and get deep into the dirt, the earth, I find myself getting higher and higher. I'm above time and space, despite distance wise being as low and far away as I can get from heaven. But I'm touching it. I travel through time and I imagine our first ancestors here doing the same work I've been doing. The Israeli farmers that first came into the land from the desert right next to me of Sinai. The farmers throughout the first and second Temple periods that worked this land. That worked it between Pesach and Shavuos, the period of the ketzir, the cutting down and pruning of the new fruits to come. Omer isn't just a count over here. It's not about not shaving, listening to music or not making weddings and mourning. Rather it's literally about what we say in that prayer as we count, removing the zehuma and shells and husks and impurities and uplifting of oneself. It's getting your head and heart straight. It's connecting. It's coming and being home and bringing forth life.
Yes, there's a mourning period that began with the unsuccessful attempt of Rabbi Akiva and his students to return and rebuild after the destruction and their failure and martyrdom. It's a time of mourning for all of those during the Crusades that were killed during this season, which is when the customs of mourning first began, when they didn't even have that dream anymore of returning to the land and felt that Po-'lin, that Europe would be our home. It's a time of war, of death, and of tumah that needs to be cleaned out and elevated and lifted up. It's cutting, planting, pruning, weed whacking. It's connecting to Hashem when we feel alone. It's the process of moving from Egypt and having seen miracles like never before, but still not being fully redeemed. Still counting the days until Sinai. Until we come into the land.
It is thus perhaps most appropriate that it is this week, that we bentch and enter the month of Iyar that the Book of Vayikra that we have been reading, that until now gave us that call and the teachings of the sacrifices, the Mishkan built, the inauguration of Aharon and his sons to the service and even the dedication of the Mikdash with tragic martyrdom of his sons on that 8th day. That Shemini. The book then takes a turn with parshat Tazria and Metzora. That parsha of planting and of leaving and expelling the ra, the inner tumah. The tumah of Metzora is the one in our words, in how we view the world and others negatively. It's in our homes, our clothes, our beards, our head and our bodies. It's the community we may be contaminating with that mindset. It's the blemishes and spiritual sickness of when the Shechina is trying to shine forth and it's being blocked and impeded by the colorful blots of on body that prevent the light from shining out.
The parsha that introduces these laws, Tazria , is not about planting agriculture as it's titled though. It's about the insemination of us, the process of childbirth. We're not born into the world, we're planted. The tumah that comes with each of us when we're born, that much like the fields I'm working in need to be purified, harvested, watered, strengthened, removed of impurity, so that fruit, that child, could be uplifted could be one with Hashem. By a boy that process includes circumcision, a little bit of weed whacking… ouch! By a girl it's a doubly long waiting period of impurity before sacrifices are made, before immersion in a Mikva. Each species is different. Each plant has its own uplifting, it's own time, it's own process. But we are all born and planted and need to do something to rise up and become pure.
The tumah of Metzora and the blemishes and impurities that we pick up from the earthiness and mortality of our bodies and land and tamey winds, airwaves, and water that we drink from and the process of becoming whole and clean and a vessel of Hashem is a fascinating one as well. The first part is being connected to a kohen. The kohen who as well, we learned last week in the inauguration process of Aharon and his sons has gone through their own purification process. Aharon, who had perhaps been guilty and complicit in the greatest sin of our nation of the Golden Calf; the tumah that set up that first blockage after the revelation of Har Sinai.
At Sinai all of the zehuma- the impurity of mankind since Adam in the garden was removed. We were one with Hashem. It all came back with his sin. He was thus charged with bringing the world back to Hashem. He underwent his own purification. He had blood sprinkled on his ear lobes, his thumbs and toes. He was separated for 7 days. He came through on the other side and is now standing there to bring all of us through. To prune us. To make us whole again. He needs to go out to the camp and see that metzora and bring him home. He was uplifted- literally picked up and twirled around by Moshe, much like the Omer is after Pesach and he will do that to us as we count or own days of Metzora and Omer and read about being uplifted. He's the farmer that we need to go to that can teach us how to plant and grow and make the earth that we were formed from flourish and bring the fruits to the world we were charged with and the neshoma seeds inside of us wish to reveal.
Do you know how that process with him begins? The process that began when we left Egypt, when we left that Mitzrayim- yes, it sounds like metzora. Those constraints that hold us back from flourishing. It started with going to the midbar. To Sinai. To being alone. To finding Hashem in that loneliness. Without the noise. Without the news. Yes- they sound the same and are the same as well. News- Noise. To get into the quietness of the midbar and to hear the sound of Sinai ringing out. Calling out. Calling for us to come back to Him. Pruning away all of the impurities we've picked up.
Each night after a day's work I go out to field by Sinai here, and I look up at the stars. I'm Avraham Avinu, looking at those stars when Hashem first revealed Himself to him. Standing under those stars one feels the immenseness of the universe. The awesomeness of Creation. There I hear Avraham asking Hashem how he will know if his children will merit to inherit the land. There Hashem tells him about Egypt. About the constraints. About the slicing in halves of our sacrifices. Of the darkness. Of the pruning and the pain. And ultimately of the great inheritance that we will receive and the sweetness of our fruits when we come out. When we will be uplifted.
When one sees those stars, you feel that stirring that everything bad melts away. You're part of something greater. You've been chosen. Every star has its place and you're one of them. Hashem is counting each one as He counts each of us. When we count omer we are counting those stars and light that we are and are connecting to. It's those little light bright seeds in the darkness of the universe that will light the night and ultimately become as great as the sun.
The next part of the process of purification, the return of the Metzora to the camp comes with the sacrifice of the birds. One is slaughtered. One is sent away. It's like the bris bein ha'besarim. It's leaving Egypt. The tzar. The ra. On the one hand we're low like that hyssop. That za'atar plant that we used to paint the blood on the doorpost. We're humbled before Hashem, who preforms miracles for us. At the same time, we are high like the cedar tree. We rise to the stars. We bind that together with the crimson blood red string. The red of the blood that's been shed that binds us. That doesn't differentiate between us. That we've all lost. That is our nefesh. Of the birds that have been slaughtered. That have all been mixed with the holy water, the mayim chayim of eternal life. We dip the one that's alive in that and sends him off. It flies away and is no finally free of that tumah.
The Kohen then sprinkles that blood on our ears, our thumbs and toes. There is one other place in the Torah where that happened. Where blood is sprinkled on us. It's here at Sinai. It's back to Sinai. Right after the giving of the Torah, the parsha at the end of Mishpatim tells us of the 12 altars Moshe had each tribe build. How we brought offerings there. And how he took half the blood and sprinkled it on us and our clothing. The clothing we took from Egypt. That we had purified in holy water. That's how we were born as a nation. Just like a baby with blood dripping down our face. It's interesting how at that moment we didn't have one altar, but 12. Each tribe was alone. Each tribe had it's own sacrifice. We were each born alone and separate as a tribe. But we all have this same purification process. We all have blood on our face. It's then we became one. It's then we said na'aseh vi'nishma. We will hear with our ears. We will act with our thumbs and our feet.
Isn't it interesting how the metzora who spoke lashon hara and who has a tzar ayin- a specious, cheap, stingy, askance eye to the world and what he perceives doesn't have the blood sprinkled on those organs? Rather it's on his earlobe. The tenuch ozen. The word tenuch is ten vav and chaf- give 26. Twenty-Six is the gematria of Hashem. What the kohen is doing is sprinkling that blood back on those ears that said nishma. It's bringing him back to that time when we heard Sinai. When we heard Hashem from the mountain. It's unclogging them. Eyes open and close. The mouth opens and closes. The ears are always opened though. We need to realize that we can always hear that voice from Sinai. We just need to take out the shmutz that have filled them. We need to sprinkle the lobe with that blood of the sacrifices we've brought. Each of us alone. Each of us with Hashem. And then all of us together back in the camp of the clouds of glory. It's then when the counting is finally over. When the redemption has finally come.
I noted to my shul last Shabbos, something that struck me as we read the Torah reading on the last day of Pesach; the reading of the splitting of the sea. One would think that the best place to end that long reading is right after Miriam concludes her song after the splitting and song of Moshe and Bnai Yisrael. But it doesn't. It continues on the journey from there. It's three days in the midbar. It's coming to the bitter waters of Marah. It's us complaining. Its throwing in the stick. It's them becoming "healed". It's there learning the Torah. It's Hashem telling us to hear his voice. It's all the sickness I put on Mitzrayim, I won't put on you.
Ani Hashem Rofecha- I am Hashem your healer.
The sefarim tell us, those words are an acronym for Iyar. The month that we celebrate and enter today. The story of our leaving Egypt and even the destruction of our enemies isn't the end of the story of our Exodus. Mashiach didn't come. Or maybe he did, but he didn't bring us home after Pesach seder night. He just took us out of Egypt. That's only the first two cups that we drank. That's He took us out and He saved us. We haven't been redeemed- Vi'golati yet. We haven't become Vi'lokachti yet. We haven't been taken chosen, and wed with Hashem yet. We've been born out of that blood. But we still have the tumah we have to leave. We still have bitter waters that we need to sweeten. We still have to hear that voice from the Midbar of Sinai.
Eis Ha'Zamir Hi'giya- the time of pruning has come, the prophet tells us
V'kol ha'tor nishma bi'artzeinu- and the sound of our redemption is heard in our land.
Six years ago at this time the world needed to begin that healing process of it's ra. It's Corona. We entered into bidud. We were in isolation. We had blemishes. We had enemies. From within. From without. We're being pruned. We're being purified. The redemption is coming closer and close as we approach the end of the 6th millennium from when we were first exiled from that garden. When the sound of Hashem was passing through it and all heard it. The sound is getting louder and louder as the world and us hear that call from Sinai. May the month of Iyar bring that final healing and we see the fulfillment of not only the purification of our own impurities but that of our houses as well and may the hidden gems that are awaiting us within those walls shine forth the light of redemption to the world.
Have a uplifting Shabbos and healing month of Iyar,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
This week's Insights and Inspiration is sponsored this week anonymously by my dear Chicago friends with gratitude to Hashem for all the goodness he bestows upon their family and as a merit for all of klal Yisrael for the geula Shlaima!
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YOUNG ISRAEL OF KARMIEL
SHABBOS DAVENING SCHEDULE
SHABBOS TAZRIA / METZORA
CANDLELIGHTING 6:42 PM
MINCHA KABBALAS SHABBOS-6:55 PM
SHACHARIS- 9:00 AM
MINCHA- 6:30 PM
MARIV-7:59 PM -10 minutes after tzeitz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
" Gey zich dem vint in feld.– Go find the wind in the field.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/achainu – My beautiful composition Acheinu- Acapella Dovid Lowy amazing arangements it needed a new tune already…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vLyNZz4ORk - Acapella Season releases. This Mimakim is beautiful from this singer Elchonan Inbal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZAcgVz6gQI - Ari Goldwag and Yitz Kaplowitz with Rabbi Sheller latest Oleh Zamer!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIlF1_KdXAE&list=OLAK5uy_mWIxM-Jo5uEFuznQQOVBeSzELjWvlYcKM&index=2 – Baruch Levine latest Acapella Release album the longing for Yerushalayim MEheira…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
28. The name of a nature park that includes memorial gardens and is managed by the Rothschild Foundation is __________?___
Why was Tel Be'er Sheva declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site?
A. Due to the discovery of a gate from the Canaanite period
B. Due to the presence of distinct remains from the time of Abraham
C. Due to the multiplicity of archaeological periods
D. Due to the large number of typical finds from the Iron Age
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Will pick this column up again next week,…
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE FARMING JOKES OF THE WEEK
IT’S A GOOD THING THIS FIRST JOKE IS ABOUT A CHURCH AND NOT A SHUL…
A farmer moved into town. After getting settled in the new town, a farmer went to church for the first time. He found that the people in the church gossiped and shunned him for his poor appearance. After the service, the preacher went to the farmer and told him that "In this town, we get dressed up for church."
"But I am but a humble farmer with no better clothes than these. What shall I do?"
"Pray to God" the priest replied. "He will tell you what to do."
The next week the farmer came back to church wearing different clothes, but they were no better than the other set of clothes he had on before. The priest interrupted the service to berate the farmer.
"Didn't I tell you to ask God what to wear to come here?"
"Yes sir you did."
"And did you do that?"
"Yes sir I did."
"And what did God tell you to wear?"
"Well to be honest father, he didn't know. He said he's never been in this church before."
What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag
A surgeon, a farmer, an engineer, and Israel's Attorney General are arguing over whose career is the best.
"I think surgery is the best career because it's the oldest!" said the surgeon.
"What makes you say that?" asked the farmer.
"Well," said the surgeon, "God removed a rib from Adam and turned it into Eve."
"You are forgetting one thing," said the farmer. "Before God even created Adam, he planted a garden for Adam to live in. That makes agriculture the oldest career."
"Both of you are wrong," said the engineer. "Engineering is the oldest career because God created an entire universe out of nothing but pure chaos."
"Ha ha! I win!" taunted the Israeli Attorney General.
"What makes you say that?" asked the surgeon.
"Well," said the AG, "someone had to create that pure chaos."
If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes.
Frank the farmer had a nagging wife She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.
One day while in the field, Frank's wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining.
Suddenly, Frank's old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.
At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, "Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shook from side to side to all the men?"
Well, Frank replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down.
And all the men asked, "Is that donkey for sale?”
A degree in agriculture is great to have. It allows you to work in a variety of fields.
Ben Gurion, Israel's first Prime Minister went to a kibbutz and spoke with the head of the Socialist Israeli Kibbutz, Dudu, about their dedication to the new State.
Dudu: "Fine people sure. Loyal? I don't know."
BG: "I will show you. Hey you! Come here! What do you do?
Farmer: "I'm a farmer."
BG: Let me ask you, if you had two houses, would you give one to the government? Without hesitation the farmer says yes.
BG turns Dudu with a smile. But he does not look convinced.
BG asks the farmer: "if you had two cars, would you give one to the government?"
Immediate yes from the kibbutznik.
Dudu then asks if he may asks a question. BG agrees.
Dudu "if you had two cows, would you give one to the government."
Kibbutznik: "No. Never. Please don't ask me that."
BG is confused: "But you'd give a house and car, why not a cow?"
Kibbutznik: "I actually have two cows."
A policeman pulls a farmer over for speeding and proceeds to write him a ticket. The farmer notices some flies buzzing around annoying the officer. The policeman is shooing flies more than he's writing.
The farmer says "I see you're being bothered by those circle flies."
The policeman says, "If that's what you call them, yes, they are somewhat annoying."
The farmer says, "Yeah, we call them that because we see them circling around the rear ends of horses."
The policeman says, "Hmmm. Did you just call me a horse's behind?"
The farmer says, "Oh, no sir, officer. I have way too much respect for those who serve in law enforcement to ever say such a thing."
The policeman says, "Well, that's a good thing, then."
The farmer adds, "But it's hard to fool those circle flies."
An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed. A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck. He rushes to the phone and calls 911
"I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!"
"OK sir, we have dispatched officers, they should be there in about an hour."
"An hour?! But they'll be long gone by then!"
"I'm sorry sir but there are no officers in your area."
The farmer hangs up angrily, waits 10 minutes and then calls 911 again.
"Hi, it's me again. Don't worry about sending those cops, I've just shot the robbers." and he hangs up.
Less then 10 minutes later, three cop cars and a helicopter arrive and the robbers are arrested. The sergeant goes up to the house and bangs on the door. The farmer opens it in his dressing gown and holding a cup of tea.
"What's going on here!? You said you shot the robbers!"
"You said there were no officers in my area."
A Muslim and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," spoke the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening." With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door, and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes late the same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong, now?" the farmer asked.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the Muslim to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn. Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
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The answer to this week's question is D– The first part was easy. Zichron Yackov and that whole area is all Rothschild stuff. And the Ramat Handiv gardens nearby is where Baron Edmund and his wife were buried and the family made gardens around the whole thing. Really nice… As far as the second part it was a bit tricky. A little process of elimination helped though. It's not an ancient arch. That's Ashkelon. As well there really isn't much from Avraham there. Most of it is from Israelite/Iron age period and being there isn't a lot of other eras there. It's the one I went with and was correct. By the way they have an amazing water system that’s pretty cool to see as well remains of a Bama/ mizbayach. So this one was right and score is no Rabbi Schwartz having a 20 points and the MOT having 8 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.
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