from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
October 23rd 2026 -Volume 17 Issue 3 12th of Cheshvan 5787
Parshat Lech Lecha
Click here below for print edition
(Weekly Newsletter - Parshat Lech Lecha 2026)
The truth is I even thought Israel and Bibi would attack before the elections here this coming week. I mean he's having a hard time with these reelection plans. He's down in the polls. He's got all these breakoffs right wing and chareidi groups taking votes from his bloc. There's nothing like a good beeper Iran blow up some Nukes thing to happen for our pathetic short-term memory nation to all of a sudden start singing "Bibi Melech Yisrael Chai Chai V'ikayam" again. Yet, Trump said midterms, so I guess Midterms it will be. I just hope it will all be over before the Thanksgiving tourist season and for sure by the Chanuka, New years and yeshiva week season, that the oilam is calling me about. I promised people that we would be doing the Bais Ha'Mikdash tour by then… and I hate for the 50th time since this whole cycle started that I'm not shown to be a fool once again.
Yeah, it hasn't been easy for me with all my predictions. It seems, I 've officially earned my non-prophet status. Time after time, I thought it was unquestionable that Mashiach was around the corner. That this was finally over. It started back in Corona, which was just insane. There have been prophecies and prophecies fulfilled and there's almost none left. It really doesn't make sense any more.
I'm pretty sure we're all ready for what they call this "siyut" or this "seret" to be over already. Really…? Elections again. Or more likely what will be another cycle of endless elections, because I can't imagine anyone will come together in a coalition here. Really? Elections in the States again. Another push for a loser politician that we think we would own, until we find out Quatar is paying more money than the best Chanuka parties Satmar can host for them will be. More anti-semitism. More war. More demonstrations in the streets. More Chareidi bashing. More Miluim/ reserve service. Another war. Lockdown. Escapes for tourists through Egypt. When is this thing gonna be over? What's He waiting for or thinking? We've seen it all already. Although, I know those are dangerous words. Because every time He manages to up the ante and show us once again- that we've ain't seen nothin yet… It ain't gonna be over it seems, until this once fat Rabbi stops singing.
Now the truth is it's really, not His fault. He never gave us any false illusions about how this relationship would work. In fact quite the opposite, He chose us specifically because He knew that we could handle this type of erratic, unpredictable- or rather even counter-predictable type of relationship. It's in our DNA. It goes back to our great-grandaddy. The first Patriarch and father of us all. Avraham Avinu was chosen, not because he was a man of faith and high morals and values. Rather He was chosen, and our entire nation as his descendants were as well, because he engrained in us the fortitude to flow with the punches. To deal with the everchanging- at least on our end plans for our nation. To recognize and appreciate that we are never in the driver's seat. That we have no idea where we are going next, what the next stop will be, when we will get there, and what we will pass and see, do and experience along the way. That our job in life is merely to sit up straight in the back seat and trust our driver. He knows what He's doing.
This week we begin the story of Avraham Avinu, the man who more than anyone else established within us the capacity for this long unpredictable haul. If one had to put in a nutshell the life and stories of Avraham it would basically come down to a life of tests. It's a life of breaking any previous contzeptziot as they say here, and realizing that he just needs to sit quietly in the back seat and enjoy the ride. Everything he thought he knew, that he thought he figured out, that he thought he understood, it was all a joke. It wasn't real. He didn't understand anything and his job wasn't to understand anything. He had one job and that was to engrain in himself and thereby his descendants, us, with the power to stop asking so many questions and making so many predictions, but rather to entirely nullify oneself to the will of our Creator.
This was not going to be an easy task for Avraham. He was a smart guy. He figured out something no one else in the entire world had understood. That there was one Creator. That idols were stupid. That Hashem created the world for our good, and there's a lot of mitzvos in every aspect of this created world that we are meant to tap into and uplift thereby developing a relationship with Him. With the only God in the universe that we can't see, touch, feel, or even expect to hear from. He did this on his own. He created a whole society based on that. He dedicated his life to spreading monotheism. He created a moral, ethical and spiritual island in a paganistic corrupt universe. He had it all figured out and was even willing to sacrifice his life and get thrown into a fiery furnace on that belief. Yet, according to Maimonides that wasn't even one of his ten tests. Because a test isn't about doing what you believe in. It's about, as we see in all of Avraham's tests, turning off your big brain, your understanding of what should be, and doing what you don't believe in or understand. It's about recognizing that "we serve at the pleasure of the King" and what we think doesn't count.
So, according to the Rambam, the first test is to close down all of his yeshivos, his Torah, his community that he spent decades building and packing up his bags and going to the most promiscuous place on the planet earth. What about all of his students? What about all of the Torah? What about spreading the faith and the doctrine? Not your problem, Avraham. Who are you working for Me or you…?
Now the truth is although this seems like quite a test for anyone, Hashem started off easy on him. He offered him an incentive plan. He knew Avraham wanted kids. He wanted the name of Hashem to be great through him. He wanted to bring blessing to the world. So yes, it's not easy to pack up and throw your whole life away. But I think even someone sitting real comfortable in Tom's River or the Five Towns and even Lakewood, who didn't have kids or was looking for success and were promised by some Rebbe that they really believed in. Reb Shayaleh, or Rebbi Nachman, or Reb Chayim, or the Baba Sali, that if they moved they were guaranteed to achieve that lifelong dream, would give up their nice house, manicured lawns, Tesla and meat boards to realize that dream. There are even some crazy people that move to Israel without those guarantees. They'll even give up that "level of Torah" that they feel they can only get in Lakewood, or that their kids could get there if they knew that they would finally have that child, they had so long prayed for, that success that they so desperately sought.
So as I said Hashem started easy on him. But very rapidly Hashem stepped on the gas and pushed him again and again past the "just-when-you-thought-you-knew- what-was-going-to happen-next" line. To the "now-see-what-I-have-in-store-for-you" one. Welcome to the "Bet-you-didn't-see-this-coming," place. So he comes to Israel the place where everything is supposed to happen and then guess what? Famine. Pack up. Leave. So sorry. Huh?? But, I thought… Didn't You tell me…? Egypt? Really? That's what this whole thing was all about?! But that's not what happens. Avraham doesn't ask. He doesn't question He goes and does what he's told. Because he's not driving the car. He serves at the pleasure of the King.
Ok, passed that one. Came down to Egypt. It's not a fun country. But I'm sure he told himself. That wonderful good loving Creator, I've been talking and teaching so much about, probably has a plan for me there. Ha'kol L'tovah. Except that it wasn't Sarah his wife is kidnapped. Taken to the Kings bedroom. Who knows what's going on there? This is what I left my Kollel and yeshiva and Lakewood for? Really? I thought that I was going to have children and descendants and my wife is kidnapped and by a bunch of terrorists? This was the big plan? Here there's no rewards promised. No redemption. No blessing. He's in stinking Egypt. Yet, you know what? The Torah tells us that even while there he never really moved there. He was longing to return. He went to be stranger there. la'gur. Somehow in the back of his mind, he held on to that thought that one day he would return. It's just not going to be on his timeline.
It is perhaps that aspect of Avraham that has been engrained in us for over 2000 years. We're always going to be strangers. We always need a passport. There's no where else we can call home. We may not know when we will return, how, what will happen to us until we get there. But deep in our DNA we somehow all intuit, that we're not at the final destination and the car is still in motion.
So moving on to test number 4. He's back home. "Hei'veinu shalom aleichem… " "Kol od b'leivav…" I'm finally back in the promised land. Sure it's still goyish. But at least, I can be left alone. I can get back to studying Torah. I can try to uplift the world. I can have a big tent. Lots of Shabbos guests. I can keep my head low and just wait for Hashem to hand it to me. It was working fine, until one day he got a knock on his door. It was this big giant guy with Og written on his lapel informing him that he was being drafted in the army. There was a war going on. He was needed to start the first Chareidi unit. At age 80 or so he was still young enough to fight. His Torah in the Bais Midrash wasn't going to protect his kidnapped nephew. Nimrod the wicked King and all his Hezbollah buddies and coalition need to be eradicated. So get on your uniform and see ya tomorrow at the base.
Now this is really a big one. I mean, isn't the army trayf? Why can't my Torah just protect? What do I care about all this politics and war? And I have to take all my students out of Kollel too? I only have 318 of them. The yeshiva is just starting to knock. Maybe they'll go off the derech there? How can this possibly make any sense? Yet, once again. None of those questions are a struggle for Avraham. It's not about what he thinks. He's getting that. His contzeptiot are being shattered one after another after another. It's not just that they're being shattered though. It's in fact the total and entire opposite of what he though would make sense. What's righteous. What's good. What's spiritual. Hashem is showing him and us for all generations, that we really have no clue, nor are we meant to have any clue. Our job like Avraham is to just follow orders. To cleanse our mind of anything we thought we had figured out.
I'm not going to go through all ten. Half are anyways in next week's parsha which of course culminates with the ultimate test, the sacrifice of Yitzchak. Yet there is one more that the Rambam mentions in this week's parsha and he gives us a clue as to what the essence of these tests are all about. It comes down to one word. A very non-breslaver word in fact. The word is yi'ush- giving up hope.
The Rambam tells us that the fifth test of Avraham is his taking Hagar for a wife after he gave up hope of having children from Sarah. The word the Rambam uses though, for giving up hope is no'ash- he made himself give up hope. It's a strange thing. What is this giving up hope. Why didn't he go to Uman? Doesn't he know "ein yi'ush b'olam klal"- there is no such thing as ever giving up hope? Where is his faith? Sure it's not easy marrying this Egyptian maid-servant. (It's even more fascinating that according to the Midrash Hagar is Pharaoh's daughter- the terrorist king who kidnapped his wife and attempted to abuse her. I wonder what that mitzva tantz looked like…). But why did he have to give up hope on Sarah? Wouldn't it have been more commendable to perhaps believe that this was as well part of the process and that he would have children from her eventually as well?
What's even more strange and perplexing is that Rashi quotes a Midrash that when Hashem told Avraham to go out and look at the stars, He told him that only under the astrological signs of this world he wasn't meant to have children. But Hashem would change his name and he would be come Avraham, rather than Avram and have children. And as well Sarai would become Sarah and have children as well. Which would seem to presume that Hashem told him he would have children. The Ramban notes, however that Hashem didn't really tell him that, rather the Midrash was just telling us that is what would happen and what the mechanics were. Yet Avraham himself was still in doubt, which means he still until that point had faith, that Sarah would have children. So why give up hope?
The answer is that the point of the tests and all tests is really about one thing. Stop trying to figure it out. Appreciate that you're in the hands of Hashem. He's a good driver. All of your contzeptziot. All your plans. All your thoughts. They're not His. Our sages tell us that the root of the word mitzva is connection-tzav is to connect. It's to become one with Him. As long as we still think we have not only control, but even an understanding of the infinite, of the omniscient, of His plan, then we're not connecting to Him. We're connecting to ourselves. We're limiting our connection by our finite mortality and rational thinking. And the danger of that path is that ultimately when it doesn't make sense to us. When it seems the opposite of what we think it should be. When Hashem's will and word doesn't fit with my understanding, then I'm lost. I'm alone. I'm in a self-driving Tesla that can go off the next cliff, rather than appreciating the Divine driver that's holding the wheel.
So the test, the Rambam is telling us, for Avraham was to give up on his own hopes, dream and even faith and understanding, that Sarah will ever give birth. He had to marry Hagar full-heartedly as if this was the new plan of Hashem. That his own plans and dreams and even promises he had heard weren't relevant anymore. They wouldn't necessarily be understood to him. They weren't his to question or even doubt. This was the turning point on the path of Avraham's tests. It was when he learned that he had to let go of everything he had ever thought and realize that he was Avraham Avdi- he was the servant of Hashem. And a servant never asks. He just obeys. And upon doing that and becoming that Eved Hashem. He therefore inherited that trait and status to all of his descendants. It is with that faith that Avraham turns to Hashem and asks how will he know that his descendants inherit the land. And Hashem responds with the covenant of the pieces. That we will be trained in Egypt to be slaves and servants. We will go to the same school and yeshivas that Avraham did. We will be forced to leave our land. We will have our wives kidnapped and abused. We will be called to war. We will have to face shattered hope again and again until we realize that we don't understand His ways. That it's not our place to understand our question. That we will have an inner knowledge that we are only here to do what He wants us to. That is the merit that we have the land. That is how we will ultimately be redeemed.
I think we're getting there boys and girls. The whole point of Donald Trump is to teach us we have know idea what's coming next. Corona, Gaza, Lebanon, Iran, Anti-semitism, Europe, Aliya, Temple Mount, Hilltops, Mamdani, demonstrations, Chareidim, soldiers with payos and tzitzis everything that was is over. It's changing. The world is on steroids. We're being pushed in every area to places were never foreseeable. On all levels. In every country.
Every Jew is requestioning and examining their pre-conceived beliefs and notions. Should I stay in America? Should I serve in the Army? Should we wipe out our enemies? Should we worry about what the world will say? Should we learn more? Are the systems we have set up really working? The Shidduch system? The Chinuch system. The fulltime lifetime learning system? Are our shuls the way they should be? Are our tefillos meant to be more heartfelt? Do we need more segulos? Less? Uman? Kerister? Carlebach?
What about our politics? Our parties? Our representatives? Is that what we should be focusing on? Trying to control. To settle. To establish frameworks? Perhaps. Avraham certainly did. Again and again and again. Yet, ultimately Eretz Yisrael will be inherited by his descendants that understand that at the end of the day. It's not about what we establish, what we set up, how we plan, or what we think we need to do and what He wants us to do. We're not driving the car. Our job is to wait until after the midterms- or not, and internalize that ultimately only He knows where He's taking us and when. We're just meant to serve at the pleasure of the King.
Have a pleasantly surprising Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Zikher iz men nor miten toit.. - One is certain only of death.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
20. The country from which Fallow deer were brought to the Carmel Hai-Bar Nature Reserve, for reintroduction into the Israeli wild after their local extinction is _________ ?
Which of the following birds is especially common at Dead Sea coastal sites and the eastern part of the Judean Desert (Matzok He'etekim)?
A. Griffon vulture
B. Tristram's starling
C. Stork
D. Barn owl
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/kum – Get up and March the Land Hashem, tells Avrham in this week's parsha. Well here's the tune and song to go with those words… Amazingly fun Rabbi Schwartz Compostion In honor of this week's parsha Kum! composition arranged and vocals by Dovd lowy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgxMvFnpVbg&list=RDfgxMvFnpVbg&start_radio=1 - Akiva's famous Lech Lecha song…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuCDKO_J-Xs&list=RDDuCDKO_J-Xs&start_radio=1 – Joey Newcomb Lech Lecha…
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4zPRlq8RiAM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsKUFuM-n40&list=RDqsKUFuM-n40&start_radio=1
- I think it is biblically prohibited to go through Rachel Immeinu's yartzeit without Yigal Calek's classic… Just look at his face here.. Wow…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEAjvx0uBcg&list=RDJEAjvx0uBcg&start_radio=1 – Rachel Rachel-Shmulik Klein Arik Azriel- a nice song… I've never heard for the Mama's yartzeit…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXRAYERzHdc&list=RDVXRAYERzHdc&start_radio=1 –A cute song and mashal and video from Fried- The little Leaf
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Closed For Shabbos-Year 3427-333 BC – You know how they say, that not all Jews can move to Israel? We need to have good influential yidden back in the States in order to influence the government to help Israel. Well that was certainly the case with Nechemia, who after setting up the system with Ezra in Eretz Yisrael went back to Persia to influence and serve (at the pleasure-see above) of King Darius. It was from that position of power with the King's Army behind his word as serving as the Facha of the King that he played an important role in fixing some of the problems that were taking place in Israel. Amazingly enforcing his spiritual revolution with Government enforcement.
As we mentioned last week, there was a major problem with the Levi'im- or the Bnai Torah and teachers and Kollel guys all leaving the Temple service, because the Jews stopped bringing their tithes. They stopped "supporting the mosdos". They lost their government subsidies. Hmmmm… Sound familiar?
What did Nechemia do? He called in the government heads and officials who had allowed and perhaps even encouraged these subsidy cuts and he drove them out of leadership. He publicly blasted them and made sure that the Levi'im got their bread back.
Perhaps even more significantly was when he saw that the poor weren’t being supported and they had resorted to Chilul Shabbos in order to provide for themselves. What they would do would be to go out on Shabbos to the local goyim and purchase for cheap their Shabbos food which they couldn't get before hand and then violate Shabbos preparing it. Pressing their wine, their olives, who know making their food? See, until that time, there was no prohibition yet to engage in commerce on Shabbos. One obviously couldn't violate any of the commandments and do any of the biblically prohibited work/related creative melachos. But purchasing and selling was fine. People still worked on Saturday- besides Gedalia Goomberg of course.
That changed with Nechemia. He saw this desecration happening and he and Ezra established the prohibition to engage in commerce. They then shut the shops around Jerusalem. The non-Jewish ones especially that the Jews would go shopping in. For the first time Shabbos barricades were put up. All stores were closed in the holy city of Jerusalem.
Now of course you had the goyim and therefore the yiddelach, that couldn't resist and they hung out outside of the walls of Jerusalem creating a whole black market for Shabbos food sales. Yet very quickly Nechemia realized what was going on and locked the gates of Yerushalayim and eventually threatening those that were sleeping outside of the gates, that it wouldn't be a good idea or healthy for them or their families if they were still around the next Shabbos. And sure enough. They got the point. Kind of like many Arabs did after October 7th when the settlers went down from their settlements and threw them off their hilltops that the Arabs had slowly been encroaching upon and encircling the Jewish settlements.
So we've got Torah scholar crisis solved. We've got Shabbos solved in the old city. There's one more major issue and that is the Aliya integration issue. Stay tuned next week for Nechemia's role in the new Aliyah movement.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE TEST JOKES OF THE WEEK
A rabbit, an imam, and a priest walk into a blood test center. A nurse approaches the rabbit and asks, “Do you know what blood type you are?” The rabbit responds with: “I think I might be a Type-O.”
My drug test came back negative. My drug dealer has some explaining to do.
Got called in for a drug test at work. They said I tested positive for opioids. I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."
They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"
"It was an everything bagel."
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."
The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, Samuel had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Yoshka had long hair.”
The father responded, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"
A man takes his wife to get tested. Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, “Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer’
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, “Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?”
The doctor calmly suggests, “I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don’t let her in.”
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.
I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions
1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal…
The doctor says, “Yankel, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Yankel replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Yankel’s wife.
“Bruchy," he says, “Yankel is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh Ribono shel olam”, exclaims Bruchy. “He’s pishing in the refrigerator again!”
Little Chaim'l brought home his history test result, it was 90. His father was so happy with it. However, his mother, just couldn't believe her son got 90 in history.
After taking a closer look at the marks, she found that the handwriting style of the 9 and the 0 are different.
" Chaim'l you are so busted. Tell me, did you add the 0 to your marks?"
"No, mum, I didn't."
"I am asking you once more. Did you add that 0 to your marks?"
"Mum, no, I didn't add that 0".
" OK, as you're not telling the truth, you are grounded for 1 month."
"Mum, no, please, no, I really didn't add that 0."
" This is your last chance kid, tell me the truth."
"....... I just added the 9 to it."
One blonde tells another "I just took a pregnancy test"
The other replies: "Were the questions hard?"
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $56 in change..
Four roommates get drunk the night before an exam and they miss the test. They go to the professor with a story that they got a flat tire on their way to take the exam and they beg for the chance to take a make-up exam.
The professor agrees.
On the day of the make-up test all four students show up right on time. The professor looks at his watch and says "begin."
The students open their exam books and there's only one question. "Which tire went flat?"
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
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The answer to this week”s question is B – I can't seem to kick this 50/50 streak here. I got the first part wrong. I guessed Egypt, but when I saw the correct answer as being Iran. I remembered that we had learned that and I saw it somewhere. I did get the second part right, which to be honest was pretty easy So half right/half wrong makes the new score Rabbi Schwartz having 14.5 points and the MOT having 4.5 points on this latest Ministry of Tourism exam.
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