Jewish? Music? - Parshat Mikeitz Chanukah II 5779 /2018

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land
from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

December 7^th 2018 -Volume 9 Issue 10-29^th of Kislev 5779

Parshat Mikeitz / Chanuka II

Jewish? Music?

It has become the new holiday tradition. Like Kosher hotels on Pesach, Uman on Rosh Hashana, bonfires and chai rottel- whatever that is-on Lag Ba’omer, Chafetz Chaim Heritage and other videos on Tisha B’Av and asking forgiveness via mass WhatsApp and Facebook messages from everyone you might have ever un-‘liked’ before Yom Kippur. I could probably throw in Rabbi Schwartzes’ annual Rosh Hashana family-megilla update and our Purim top ten list, but that’s something only the devout, elite, privileged 2500 of you out there on our weekly list get to experience. But yes, it is safe to say that a new tradition has become part of our Jewish Chanukah experience as well.

What was once a holiday defined by its 8 simple lights on the menorah, obviously had to expand itself to have some gastrointestinal aspect to it, to match up to the Shavuot blintzes, Pesach matzah brie and Purim nosh. So we came up with latkas. Israelis having to be different have sufganiyot which are jelly filled sponges with scary looking white powder that blows all over your clothing when you take a bite. (They do that incidentally so you can’t hide the fact that you just had one from your wife when you come home.) It then expanded into Chanukah presents, chocolate gelt. In yeshiva it was “kvittlach” which were not little notes one hands to a Rebbe for a blessing or stuck into the Kotel. This was a late night card game that was kept far away from the Rebbe’s watchful eye. But welcome to the 21^st century. It’s a new world and as we all know Chanuka is no longer complete without the newest tradition of  the holiday. None other than Acapella funny(?), cool (!), shticky (?!) Youtube Music videos from groups with Funny, cool, shticky (?!?) sounding names.

You’ve watched them. Admit it. Your children play them endlessly. You’ve even Whatsapped and shared them around. They’re like the measles in chareidi schools- Ouch! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. -They’re contagious.  I know this because each of you have sent me the same ones repeatedly. OK I’ll admit. I’ve sent some to you, as well. I haven’t been vaccinated against them, yet. (STOP!). But, I think you can agree that it has become a tradition. And being a traditional guy and particularly one that likes music a lot, I go with the flow, groove with the beat, and move with the music.

Now one thing that most of the videos have in common is that they are non-Jewish songs that are being “yiddishized” into Chanukah Jewish themes. I don’t have a problem with that personally. I liked most of the “goyish” songs originally, but always felt awkward or “goyish” with most of the lyrics. Either I didn’t understand them because I was never as stoned as the composers and singers of the songs or I was frankly pretty embarrassed to be listening to, let alone singing some of them. That’s why I liked Shlock Rock, Variations, or Country Yossi as a child or a yeshiva guy. Because you could listen to the great tunes but not have the trayf lyrics. OK, maybe Country Yossi wasn’t such great tunes but he was just funny. But it is ironic I guess that the holiday that is meant to celebrate overcoming the influence of the Greeks and the pagan world, newest tradition for the past few years has been taking that ‘gentile-secular’ culture and ‘koshering” it- if that is even possible into Jewish songs and lyrics. Or maybe it’s not…

See the age old question and debate perhaps is, what is in fact “Jewish Music”? Growing up I always thought it was Shlomo Carlebach, until some people told me that he might not have been that perfect “Jewish” role model kind of a guy. Was it little kids Pirchei tapes and boy’s choirs? Well that worked when I was a kid, and they had really great songs. But someone then mentioned to me that the reason why Jews have kid’s choir’s tapes and gentiles don’t is because the goyim have lady singers. Our children’s choirs tapes are meant to serve as the Jewish antidote; to get that female voice. I don’t think Celine or Whitney were too nervous of the competition, but I’ve never been able to enjoy it as much since then. MBD was, is great, but remember when that “Yidden” song came out? It was pretty much straight out of some German rock group.  Piamenta’s ‘Asher Bara’ that rocked my wedding was from the Land Down Under with a few oy oy oy oy oy oys thrown in. They got that right.

So I’m confused. Is Jewish music composed by Jewish guys? Would that make Simon and Garfunkel “Jewish Music”?  ‘White Xmas’ and ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ can’t possibly be Jewish despite the Irving Berlin and Johnny Marks Jewish ancestry. Is it that the tunes have to be composed by Jewish people? By holy people?  Many great Chasidic songs that Rebbes sang came from Polish or French non-Jewish sources. The Baal Hatanya’s ‘Napoleon’s March’ and Ha’aderes v’haemuna or the Kaliver famous Solol Kokosh being good examples of that. But it gets better. Did you sing Maoz Tzur tonight? Shhhhh don’t tell anyone that it’s a German folksong that was used as choral music by Luther. And of course everyone knows that our Mishe Mishe Mishe Nichnas Adar is all about picking a bale of hay. Oy, so does that mean that they aren’t Jewish music either?!

In Yerushalayim, I will many times take tourists to visit a fascinating museum called the Music Museum. There, one can hear Jewish music and see their instruments from all over the world. The owner, Eldad, had a passion for Jewish music and he went all over the world from Africa, Asia, Europe, every continent where Jews lived and collected their music and instruments. It’s a cool fascinating and eye-opening place. You know, why? I’ll tell you another secret? Asian Jewish music sounds like non-Jewish Asian music that you hear when you go into a spa. African Jewish music sounds like it came right out of the jungle and was from the Lion King.  Spanish Jewish is like Spanish music, Latin Jewish like Latin and Middle Eastern sefardic Jewish music is the same as Arabic music. Inshalla… In fact, Chacham Ovadia Yosef in a responsa, justifies adapting the cultures music as our own, in sefardic communities, on the verse from Psalms that we sing of Al Naharos Bavel- on the Rivers of Babylon

Psalms (137)- Al Aravim b’tocha talinu kinoroseinu- On willows in its midst we hung our harps.

He reads the words homiletically as al Aravim-on the Arabs we have hung our harps. So does that mean that Mattisyahu’s reggae, Nissim Black’s rap and Acapella Chanukah songs are now Jewish?

I listened to a fascinating podcast by Rabbi Yossi Paltiel who asks an even more intriguing question that really cuts to the heart of this question as well. What makes anything Jewish? What is Jewish food? Sefardim will tell you it’s one thing, Ashkenazim something else, Ethiopians have their cuisine, Chasidim theirs and Litvaks don’t really eat. J  Each one again has food that’s pretty much similar to their culture. Today, American Jewish food is Sushi in a Pizza shop, or a Texas-haymish- grill or bagels and lox. So what makes something Jewish?

In the 1990’s there was a radio broadcast where that very question was posed to Vladmir Pozner, a former Soviet propagandist, by Phil Donahue. What is a Jew? He responded and argued that being Jewish was certainly not a religion, as he was an atheist and still considered himself Jewish. It wasn’t a race, as there are white Jews, black Jews, yellow Jews, all the colors of the rainbow. It wasn’t a culture either, as Sefardic, Ashkenazic and every place Jews lived have their own culture. It wasn’t an ideology. It wasn’t a belief. It wasn’t even a shared ancestry, as there are converts all over. In fact, most of our greatest Rabbis were either converts or descendants of them. Judaism and being Jewish is like no other division in the world and in history. So what does it mean to be Jewish? Vladmir’s response was “I sincerely don’t know.”

The truth is until about 300 or 400 years ago the question of what being Jewish meant was never asked. It was understood. Being Jewish meant being religious. It is only with the advent of the “Enlightenment” movement that the concept of a “secular” Jew even entered the lexicon. Rav Saadya Gaon, over one thousand years ago, made his famous statement-

Ein Umaseinu Umah Elah B’Torahseha- Our nation is only a nation with our Torah.

If that is the case than what makes something Jewish is what brings it closer to its Torah. What makes it more religious.

But it is deeper than that. There is something that Vladmir couldn’t put his finger on, but that he knew to be true. And that is, that what makes someone Jewish is that they have a Jewish soul. Religious, non- religious, Oriental, African, Indian, Ashkenazi. Sefardi, Chasidic, Reform and Reconstructionist, straight and crooked, tall and short, male and female, we all have Jewish souls. We all have a uniquely designed soul that is connected to Hashem and that is programmed to light up the world with His glory. Even converts upon their conversion receive that special soul. When something in this world is Jewish, whether it is cuisine, a language, dress, a practice, a tradition and yes even music it means that it is being used to bring that Jewish soul out to the world.

Parshat Mikeitz which is always read around Chanukah is precisely that story about Jews being able to find that spark. To see the Jewishness in someone, their own brother Yosef, who doesn’t look, talk, smell, eat or sing the same way that they did in their alteh heim. He’s an Egyptian to them. Not their type of Jew. He’s a Goy. It’s why Yosef puts them through all of this game. For they ultimately have to learn the lesson, that being Jewish is not the chulent you ate at Yaakov Avinu’s house or songs he sang by his Shabbos table. The style of his kippa, black hat or shtreimel or what nussach he davened. Being Jewish is finding that one spark that we all share. Seeing the light in our fellow brother and sister that only they possess that needs to be shined out to the world. Seeing the pinteleh yid in them.

Chanukah, that story is even more profound. So many of our brethren had become Hellenized. They bought into the “Greeks of the Mosaic persuasion” identification. They scorned and tried to eradicate and vanquish the one and only thing that truly defines us and that is our Torah, our religion, our spark and our mandate. Sadly, and tragically, they were like most of Soviet Jewry fifty years ago and American Jewry today-slowly disappearing, intermarrying and producing a generation that can’t even tell you what being Jewish means. But unlike today, back then there was a group of brave people that stood up and said we will not let that happen. We will not let you destroy that spark, steal our identity, obliterate us or our God. We will fight for you, even if that means we have to raise a sword against you. Because you are too precious to us, to let you disappear. For me to continue to hide myself behind my Talmud, my shtibel, my community, my kosher supermarket and forget about you and let you just dwindle away. You’re not a goy. You have a Jewish soul and we will fight to reveal that. And they did.

Is it any wonder than why Chanukah is not as much defined by the miraculous battle and victory against the World Empire of the Greeks? Rather, it is the story of us finding that pure oil and it miraculous lighting and lasting forever. That is what it was always all about. They could have used their halachically permissible impure oil. Every Rabbi there would have permitted. The Talmud and Halacha certainly do. But the Jews said that the point of this whole battle was to uncover the holiness, the purity where it seems unlikely to be found. If we can find the holy spark in our fellow Jews, then we can certainly find pure oil that will be eternal in the Holy of Holies, our Temple. That is what we celebrate on Chanukah. That is the energy and power that we are meant to take from these days.

So perhaps Jewish acapella is not the worst way to celebrate our holiday. Acapella has 8 letters after all in it. It is the sound of Jewish voices and souls unadulterated by any musical accompaniment. Sure the songs may not be Jewish, but the heart is. So bring on those Maccabeats, share those Six13 songs, Y-studs? Why not? If it brings you closer to Hashem then hey, you are finding that pure oil in the vessels that our enemies tried to contaminate, but that the Jewish heart and voice will always find that holiness in. Now can someone out there just do a little Livin’ on a prayer for me?

 Have blessed Rosh Chodesh, a lichtigeh Chanuka, and a rockin Shabbos!

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Tsu itlechen neiem lid ken men tsupassen an alteh nigen.”- To every new song one can find an old tune

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/chasof-zeroah - Hot of the presses! Fresh this week in honor of Chanukah my newest composition Chasof, A really amazing song. Thank you Yitz for making this happen for me!

 And for those that missed it last week my other Chanukah song

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/haneiros-halalu    – in honor of Chanukah my Haneiros Halalu composition. Enjoy and like!

And of course the traditional Chanuka Acapella bands…

https://youtu.be/uu8DleqoVYc - Shir Acapella an Africa Chanuka song

https://youtu.be/uI74Bkc8j9k   – Y-Studs a Queen Chanukah

https://youtu.be/qtfmXU8fuxY -    And for those more yeshivsh or traditionalists this absolutely the coolest and most amazing Mimkomcha Carlbach rendition you have ever heard. Trust me.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

Q A mosque attached to a baptistery were found in:

a.  Shivta

b.  Mamshit

c. Nitzana

d.  Avdat

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Mikeitz– One of the things that always excites me about a good ‘lomdishe vort’ is when you read a pasuk in Torah, you see the midrash that brings down the other side of the story and if you read the midrash carefully- as a lamdan always does, one can discover halachic insights into the story that you would never of even noted that were there, but that jumps out to every lamdan and posek-halachic decisor.

In this weeks Torah portion we are told about Yosef, the vizier of Mitzrayim, meeting his brothers and sitting down to eat with them. They obviously don’t recognize him after all of these years and in his Egyptian disguise. The Torah tells us how he sat them

Bereishis (43:33) And he sat them the oldest according to his first born place and the youngest according to his youngest status.

Rashi brings the midrash that explains the story here.

He would knock on his goblet and say Reuvein, Shimon, Levi, Yehudah, Yissachar… are all the children of one mother should recline in this order which is the order of their birth. And so for all of them. Once he got to Binyamin he said ‘This one doesn’t have a mother and neither do I have a mother he should sit next to me’

Yosef wanting to keep the deception up pretended that he was a sorcerer with a magic goblet and put each of them in age order. The Birkas Ish, notes that Rashi seems to switch words in describing what the brothers were meant to do. By the brothers he had them recline and by Binyamin he was told to sit. Now to non-lamdans this doesn’t mean anything. But if you are Rav Moshe Feinstien, one of our preeminent halachic minds of the last century then the distinction jumps out at you. When someone mentioned this to him, his response was quite simply.

“He paskens like the Rema”

Huh? Now you understand? OK I’ll explain. The laws of reclining by a Pesach seder are that a son reclines in front of his father even if his father is his Rebbe.

Shulchan Aruch (472:5) A student in front of his Rebbe is not allowed to recline unless is Rebbe gives him permission as it is considered not kavod- treating him with the proper honor in doing so. A tremendous Rabbi who is known for his wisdom by all, even if he is not your rebbe, you may not recline in front of him

So it is not dignified to recline in front of someone who you are meant to honor.

The Rema qualifies that law though- he says that it is only applicable if you are sitting at the same time table as your Rebbe. If you are on another table though you may recline. And there you have it…

See the Torah tells us that

 ibid .And he placed himself alone, and them (his brothers) alone and the Egyptians who were eating with them alone

So Yosef’s brothers that were sitting on a separate table, Rashi points out, were able to recline- as was the customary way to eat back then. Binyamin, on the other hand, who was meant to sit on Yosef’s table would be prohibited from reclining as he was sitting with the vizier. It would be disrespectful. Thus Rashi says by Binyamin that he should “sit” rather than recline next to him. All of this Reb Moshe said in three words ‘he paskens like the Rema.  Being a lamdan, I’m sure when you saw that Rashi, and that midrash, and that discrepancy in words between the seating arrangements of the brothers and Binyamin, I’m sure that you automatically connected it to a little Rema out in the laws of Pesach Seder. Right? Well Reb Moshe, did, and that’s probably a good reason why you shouldn’t recline in front of him.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Chanukah - 165 BC- OK Let’s break for a week from our chronological sites and eras to talk about the holiday of Chanukah. So in the year 165 about 100 years or so after Alexander the Great comes to Israel and spares the country and Greek culture enters the Jewish world, the country is once again in turmoil. The generals of Alexander divide up the country and the Northern Syrian Greeks, known as the Selucids, led by Antiochus passes laws against the Jews and the revolt begins. It ultimate culminates with the liberation of the Beit Hamikdash and the lighting of the Menorah which miraculous oil that lasted for eight days. You learned all that in kindergarden. But where can you experience and relive that in Israel.

So obviously the places to relive these battles would be where they took place. Mod’in where the revolt took place is today a big city, but Umm al Umdan right outside of it a shul was found there from the Herodian post Maccabee period and underneath it another Chashmonean period shul was found, so perhaps it was there. There is nearby as well a great place the Chasmonean village that has been created as well as Neot Kedumim that have all types of activities including olive oil making for Chanukah.

The battles of the Maccabees are certainly sites that we are familiar with. At Latrun by the Ayalon valley, Yehudah fights off miraculously Nikanor. I like to play lazer tag with my tourist kids there, that’s really reliving the action. A little north of that by Beit Choron you have the amazing battle fights off the general Seron. Even as far South as Yavneh which is right above Ashdod you have the final battle when we threw off the yoke of the Greeks. On the other hand, in the Gush Etzion area by Tel Zekariah right outside of Elazar is when the Maccabees suffered a defeat and Elazar was crushed by an elephant. The yishuv is thus named after him. Further down as you head to Chevron the village of Karmei Tzur is named after the Chashmonean city Beit Tzur where they sent the Syrians and their general Lysisus back to Syria.

The truth is though everywhere you go in Israel everyone is trying to get in on the action all of the museums have Chanukah activities, the parks have games and period-era costumes, and everyone is getting in on the action. But of course the most important Chanukah experience is to walk through the streets of the old city of Yerushalayim at night and see the neiros b’chatzros kodshecha- the candles, just as they were 2000 years ago lit in the courtyard, streets and window of our holy city. Am Yisrael Chai!

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S JEWISH MUSIC JOKES  OF THE WEEK

Berel walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't been able to go to the bathroom in a week!"
The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."
A week later Berel is back: "Doc, still no movement!"
The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later poor Berel is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"
The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a musician."
The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"

A Rabbi, a cantor, and a synagogue president were driving to a seminar when they were kidnapped. The hijackers asked the three of them to hand over all of their money and jewelry. When they replied that they hadn't any, the hijackers told them that immediately after their last wishes were fulfilled, they would be killed. 
"My last wish," began the Rabbi, is to give a fascinating, complicated, long sermon that I have always wanted to but never been allowed to give." 
"We will grant your wish," the hijackers replied. 
"My last wish," said the cantor, "is to sing a beautiful, Yemenite style song, one of my own compositions lasting two hours. I have never been allowed to sing it." 
"We'll let you sing it," replied the hijackers. 
"What is your last wish," the hijackers asked the shul president. 
"Please, please shoot me now." 

Leah walks into a pet shop and says to Hymie, the owner, "I want to buy a canary."
"We have many types," says Hymie, "is there any particular one you’re after?"
"Yes," replies Leah, "its got to be a very good singer. I'm prepared to pay good gelt (money) for a great singing bird."
"Lady, I’ve got the very one," says Hymie, "I’ve been in this business for a long time and this bird has the best singing voice I’ve ever heard. We don’t call it ‘Pavarotti’ for nothing. I’ll get it for you."
Hymie brings the cage, places it on the shop counter and says to Leah, "Just you listen."
With that, the bird begins singing one beautiful song after another. Pleasantly surprised, Leah murmurs, "What mazel (luck) - this canary really can sing."
But then, a few seconds later, Leah shouts out, "Oy Vay, this canary’s only got one leg. Are you trying to cheat me, or what?"
Hymie calmly looks at Leah and replies, "Lady, do you want a singer or a dancer?"  


As a fundraiser the local Hebrew School decided to hold a talent show for the community. The night of the show finally arrived and the auditorium was packed with community people. One of the performers was a teenage girl playing the piano and singing Hava Nagila. During her song the grandmother sees a man in the audience crying.   
After the show she walks over to him and says "Isn't it touching that the younger generation is carrying on our tradition?" 
The man says "I don't know I'm not Jewish".
"So why were you crying?" she asks him. 
"Oh that's because I am a musician"

Yankel received a parrot for his birthday. It was supposed to have a beautiful voice and sing Jewish songs. Yet when he came home he found that the parrot had a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a yiddish swear word and curse.
He tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite things and playing jewish music for him. Anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He tried yelling at the bird, but the bird got worse. When he shook the bird, it got madder and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, Jimmy quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior. And I will sing the best and nicest Shabbos songs you ever heard.
Jimmy was astounded at the bird's change in attitude. Before he could ask what changed him, the parrot said, "May I ask what the chicken did”

Two grave robbers find Beethoven's grave so they dig it up. When they reach the coffin they hear a strange sound coming from inside. Carefully, they open the lid and see Beethoven himself, sitting there erasing musical scores. "What are you doing?" they ask. "Don't you know? I'm decomposing."

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Answer is A–  OK every streak has to end. But hey it took 8 weeks, right. If I had to get one question wrong, I don’t feel so bad about this one. Nobody I have ever taken or will ever take is interested in either bapistries or mosques of ancient Nabateans. I was barely interested in them in my course. I mean the Nabateans are cool a little bit the whole first second century Spice trail and the transformation from nomads to palace and nice city dwellers. It also ties in a bit with the Yosef being sold down by his brothers to spice traders, although obviously this was about a thousand years later. Anyways, I imagine most of you haven’t even bother to scroll down for this answer, just to see if I got it wrong or not. Well I did, I missed the day in our course when we went to Shivta and Nitzana. I only went to Mamshit and Ovdat, and I actually thought they mentioned something about a mosque in one of them, although I thought they were pretty much gone by the Muslim period. I took tourists once to Mamshit and didn’t remember it there, so I guessed Ovdat. I was wrong it was Shivta. Oh, well. I probably would have left this one for the end to see if I needed to answer it as you are allowed to skip 5 questions. But I got it wrong so the new

score is Schwartz 7and 1 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.