Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, February 14, 2020

Us and Them- Parshat Yisro 2020/5780


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
Febuary 14th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 17 19th Shvat 5780

Parshat Yisro

Us and Them
It was a few years ago not long after having moved to Israel and my six year old daughter turned to me by dinner one evening and asked.

'The Arabs are bad, Daddy, right?

"Uhhhh…no…Elka'la there are some bad Arabs, but there are also some good ones."

Continuing to take a bite of my supper and hope that this conversation is over. But this is Elka, the conversation is just beginning. "But they are Goyim, Daddy. Aren't Goyim bad? Aren’t the Goyim, reshaim?" I almost choke. And to think this is the daughter of a former outreach professional…oyyy see what a few years out of Seattle, Iowa and Virginia can do to you. Oh well..here goes the simple how-was-your-day-in-gan, what-pictures-did-you-draw-of-the-sunshine, conversation. Welcome to Israel.

"Why do you think that the Goyim are bad?" I asked already trying to imagine the conversation I would have with her obviously racist and prejudiced Morah. Little did I know that it had nothing to do with her.

"Well the goyim are always trying to kill us and Hashem comes to save us. So aren't they bad?"

Well I guess if you put it that away. Hmmmm… Where do I want to go with this conversation?
"Can you pass the ketchup, sweetheart, you haven’t finished your French fries yet".

Now if this was one of my other kids I might be able to move forward. But if Elka isn't eating her French fries, this is not a conversation that is going way. She's Daddy's girl, we don't pass up French fries easily. She passes the ketchup and continues

. "I thought only the Jewish people are good and the Goyim and Arabs are bad. Only we have Hashem. So doesn't that mean that only we are good…?"

 I stop eating my French fries. Supper is now over. Elka, come sit on my lap and let's talk a bit about Jews and Goyim. About us and them. Let's talk about Hashem.

Well Elka certainly picked a good time of year to have this conversation This week's Parsha, the Torah portion that talks about us becoming that chosen nation (that everyone does NOT always want to kill) fascinatingly enough is named after a non-Jew; Yisro/Jethro the Midianite priest of idolatry and father-in-law of Moshe who comes for a visit. Even more interesting is that according to many of our sages the story of Yisro's visit which introduces this week's portion actually takes place after the giving of the Torah. Yet the Torah, which never feels the need to be bound by a historic timeline accounting of events, tells us the story of Yisro's visit before it tells us about the great revelation and the giving of the Ten Commandments and Torah on Sinai.

One would think that such an important Torah portion should be named after a Jew. Moshe, perhaps? Maybe even call it Parshat Vayishma-and he heard", the first word of the portion, as it does so in other places. That way it would also connect to the Jewish people's famous declaration of Naaseh Vinishma- we will observe and we will hear upon the receiving of the Torah. Why call it after a Goy? Why bring the whole story here, right now at this great flow of "Jewish" stories. Egypt, splitting of the sea, water miracles, manna and even the miraculous battle of Amalek. Wouldn't it have fit nicely to just move right to the story of the giving of the Torah. What's the goy doing in shul? Someone call security…

The answer, writes the great Rabbi Chaim Ben Attar (1696-1743) known as the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh (who incidentally suffered persecutions in his home country of Morocco and according to some accounts was even thrown in a lion's den!), is precisely to teach us that contrary to what some uneducated people might assume goyim are not bad. Not only that, but we're not necessarily better or smarter than them. In fact, the entire story of Yisro which is the introduction to us becoming the Jewish nation is to let us know that there are great people amongst the gentiles that will and can teach us many important things. The entire Jewish judicial system in fact is built on the model that Yisro established. We weren't chosen because of our brains, our genes, our good looks or our cooking skills. It was a kindness of Hashem and we have to appreciate that we have no inherent superiority over them.

The Ibn Ezra who also suffered persecutions and exiles at the hands of the Christians and Muslims writes "the reason it tells us the story of Yisro after the story of Amalek (although it is out of context) is that once the Torah has recounted to us the evil perpetrated against us by Amalek correspondingly it tells us the goodness, and kindness of the wise advice that Yisro has when he lit up our eyes." They're not all bad. Know this when you go to get the Torah. Know this before you become the chosen nation.

Recently one of my tourists asked me, what does it mean to be Jewish. Are we a religion? If I'm not religious does that mean I'm not Jewish? Are we a race? I hope not. I've always been bad at races. A culture? Chicken soup? Gefilte fish? You knew it was coming… chulent? Are we just a family or descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov? Maybe just Yaakov? But than what about converts? They're not descendants. What is a Jew? My response- Please pass the ketchup.

The answer to her and I believe to Elka as well is that being Jewish means that we all had one shared experience together on a mountain 3333 years ago in which Hashem revealed Himself to us. Not just our ancestors-but each and every Jewish neshoma was there- the converts too. If you were there you're part of the Jewish people. That meeting on the Mountain was perhaps the most important event in the history of a God-run, created and purposeful world. The function of that meeting and revelation was to bring His light, His kindness and His goodness to all of mankind. We all have one Father in heaven; Jews, Arabs, Christians, Atheists, Americans, Chinese, Timbuktuans, whites, blacks, greens, men, women and children. A father loves all his children, our Creator all His creations. There is no discrimination. We're all His.

We were chosen to be the bearers of that message. We were chosen, because the rest of the world didn't want to hear it. We were chosen to lead a life that was different than the rest of the world. A life that shows how meaningful it is to be connected to Hashem, to Avinu Shebashamayim. A life that has Shabbos, a life that is dedicated to uplifting the world by the study of Hashem's words, the Torah. A life where we avoid, by adhering to Hashem's commands, the things that distance us from Him and that connect us too much to our physicality. Every breath we take and decision we make. Where we eat, how we live, what we do and do not celebrate becomes a Divine decision, a commandment, a mitzvah. When we lead that life the way we are meant to, then the whole world is meant to be inspired. The good of all of us will be finally revealed.

There are Arabs that do bad things. There are also Arabs that have done and do good things. There are and have always been those that want to destroy and kill us, Romans, Greeks, Christians and even Americans. They're bad. Killing is bad. There are Jews as well, sadly enough, that do bad things. As a Rabbi of mine once put it, they don't have a monopoly on gehenom and we don't have one on heaven. There are plenty of both of us in both places. What makes us good or bad is ultimately how much we are doing to bring the world closer to the ultimate good. Perhaps the greatest evil we can perpetrate on mankind is to disconnect us from our Creator and loving Father and as well to distance ourselves from our role to bring mankind closer to Him.

After millennia of suffering persecution, exile, anti-semitism and genocide attempts it is only natural for us to view the world with an "Us versus Them" mentality and mindset. But strangely enough and perhaps even miraculously enough after every period in our history that we were persecuted, we never shut ourselves down and closeted ourselves away. Quite the opposite, the miracle of the Jewish people is that not even a half century after the Holocaust we rose from the ashes to once again shine out to the world, to share our knowledge, to become part and parcel of society and even its leaders. It all goes back to that moment on Sinai, when we became hardwired to change the world.

We are approaching the month of Adar and Purim is around the corner (which means Pesach is too, for those housewives that haven't started freaking out yet..). On Purim we have a mitzva to celebrate until the point when we don't know "bein arur Haman and baruch Mordechai". Unfortunately too much of our upbringing is focused on the cursed-ness of the nations that have tried to destroy us and not enough on our role as the light that is the baruch Mordechai. The bracha that will bring light to the world. The epilogue of Purim and the parshiyos we read afterwards are the building of the Mishkan and the Beis Hamikdash. A beis teffila l'chol ha'amim. There won't be an us and them anymore. Bayom Hahu yihiyeh Hashem Echad u'shmo echad.
Have a Jewishly amazing Shabbat!
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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CHECK OUT MY REALLY COOL AND FUNNY INTERVIEW IN MISHPACHA THIS WEEK ON JEWISH MUSIC
SHARE LIKE COMMENT AND CHECK OUT ALL OF MY SONGS

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

Oif itlechen terets ken men gefinen a nei’eh kasheh."– To every answer you can find a new question.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/0Mh5Fd5U3Ak  - A non Jew visits Crown Heights excellent!

https://youtu.be/Xh8J2YQUb_E -     Eitan Katz Ki Karov Eliecha amazing from his newest Disc concert in Jerusalem

https://youtu.be/IK2ea3mpGFQ  – Talk to a Friend 8th Day's latest cool video

 https://youtu.be/NJzEqTD2X7Y- NISSIM BLACK MOTHA LAND...like you've never seen him before…


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
14) A site not recognized as a World Heritage Site:
A.    Megiddo
  1. Beit Jimal
  2. Masada
  3. Hazor

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Kibud Av V'Em– Honoring one's parents.  – It's one of the big ten. The fifth in fact. What's interesting is that the commandment to honor one's parents is on the side of the tablets that are generally considered to be mitzvos between Man and God not Man and his fellow Man. The reason is because the mitzva to honor one's parents is really equated with that of honoring Hashem. Your parents are partners in your creation as Hashem is. Societal laws of not stealing murdering, adultery and like are understandable to make society function. One can argue that even to take care of ones elders and family as well would make sense. But honoring is a different level that means showing a level of respect and awe that demands intuiting that one is obligated to appreciate where one receives life from. And to treat that source with a sense of appreciation and honor with a level of sanctity. This is a game-changer. And it is what forces us to treat our lives with a sense of appreciation rather than as an entitlement.

What does honor mean. Similar to the way we treat Hashem one is not supposed to call their parents by their name but rather with a sense of awe. I always wanted might kids to call me "Father". I thought it sounded cool. Father Schwartz. It never took off though. I'm a Daddy. Which is an affectionate term. It's alright. And there is something to be said for children to connect with their father affectionately as we do Hashem. But Daddy's aren't friends. Unfortunatly many in today's secular world as they grow older call their parents by their first name. They have lost that sense of appreciation.

As well one does not sit in their parents place. It's Daddy's seat. Some seem to think this is only a Daddy mitzva but it is a Mommy one as well. I don't know why we don't see people being as strict as they are about that. One should rise when ones parents walk into the room as they would when a great Rabbi walks in. That's especially true if Dad is a great Rabbi. But even I he's a small time Rabbi/ tour guide the law applies. When Mommy comes in too. Again parents have the right to not be strict about this. Some probably feel awkward when their children. But it's a mitzva. And if children are trained this way then there is no question that it will give them a much more wholesome appreciation of the unique relationship parents and children are meant to have. One of respect and of obedience out of that sense of respect. Just as if their teacher or Rabbi would tell them something. It may not be something you want to put into place right away, but it is something that would be important to impart maybe even slowly. When you come home from shul, when Mommy comes in from shopping or a class. Try it. I guarantee that if you do and your children are trained this way then the next time you tell them something to do that they may not want to they may stop themselves and realize that they are talking back or ignoring their parent and not just their friend who asked them something.

There is obviously as well as part of honoring your parents to assist them. It's not something that needs to be asked for. A child should be trained to intuit that Daddy needs something; a cup, a drink, help with chores around the house. Certainly when one has older parents one has to care for them. According to some even though one does not have to pay money for this care but one has to go collect money to make sure they are taken care of. So it's your choice really…

I don't believe that this mitzva is one that is practiced the way it should be. I don't think it is the children or youths fault either, although many would like to blame it on society. It's the parent's obligation to teach their children this respect and we are faulty for not doing so or demanding it. Many feel it's alright to be friends, many feel in today's world it's more important to have a close relationship that doesn't demand that honor as one would demand that their children honor Hashem. But it's a mitzva. One of the top ten. And perhaps one more thing to remember is that any act of honor that a child does for their parent is guaranteed by Hashem that is will give them long life. It's more than whole wheat bread and avoiding MSG or getting your kids to exercise. If you want to give your children to live long lives on this land then teach them to fulfill this mitzva. Every cup of water they give you, every time they talk to you with respect, every time they stand up when you walk in they get another mitzva another few extra days added to their life. What parent doesn't want to do that for their child.


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Shimshon' Downfall  959 BC- One thing that makes our Torah unique is that we do not bury our skeletons- figuratively at least. The Torah does not do the cover-up thing. Since Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, through our Patriarchs, Matriarchs, the 12 tribes and our sins from the golden calf and on we hang out all our dirty laundry. It seems that the world has returned to this standard in the information and scandal era where there are no secrets anymore. Welcome to the country where we have a President, Prime Minister and Chief Rabbi that have all done jail time and quite a few members of Knesset as well as a current prime minister that are always being accused and threatened with indictment. The US isn't that different. Yes it seems the Torah way of bringing it all to the forefront has come en-vouge.

There is nobody that is not more for true than is Shimshon. His downfall comes with his third Philistine woman Delila that he falls for. Three is glida- ice cream as they say in Israel, much more exciting than the "three is a charm" aphorism. Our rabbis tell us that if one sins three times it becomes a second nature to you and is very hard to break and return from that. It's like a permissible activity. When it comes to the temptation to men of inappropriate women we find that it is something that even the greatest of our leaders, King David, Shlomo and others fall to. Shimshon with his super-human drive and strength is challenged with the super-human physical drives as well that come along with that package. It is why he was meant to be a Nazirite to harness that energy. But he fails.

He falls for Delila and she is convinced to betray him by seducing him to reveal the secret of his strength to her and handing him over to her. It is amazing that he withstands three times each time getting closer and closer to the truth and each time she tells the Plishtim to attack after she thought she had him subdued. And he still doesn't learn. First he tells her to tie him with 7 fresh ropes that have not been dried, the second time he tells her the cords can't have been used, the third time he tells her it's really the locks of his hair that need to be woven with a loom. Each time she takes him when he is sleeping, the philistines attack and he gets rid of them. One would think he would learn already. But we Jews seem to never get it…

Finally it says he had no more will to live. Her temptation and teasing was just too much. He caved. He told her that his strength was from Hashem because he was a Nazirite and had never had his hair cut. She cuts it off when he was sleeping the Philistines capture him  they take him back to Gaza…where all his troubles really started. They poked out his eyes, which was divine punishment for him having strayed after them. They connected him to a flour mill and he would was meant to walk around in circles turning the millstones. There are a quite a few places in Israel where one can see these types of Grinding Mills in Israel. Kfar Kedem, Kfar Tavor, Hula Valley or Dobrozhin farm and that's just in the North.

This story of seduction and his downfall we are told takes place by Nachal Sorek which is near Beit Shemesh and the Tzorah. Our sages tell us that it si in fact called Nachal Sorek because a Sorek is a tree that doesn't produce any fruit. It is named that after this story of Shimshon who does not have a legacy. Next we conclude our story of Shimshon and his final stand and victory with its eternal echoes/

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY JOKES  OF THE WEEK

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??
 "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.  Boys need somebody to
clean up after them!" -Anita, 9
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't
need that kind of trouble."  -Will, 7
"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." Kirsten, age 10
  
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
 "One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has
freckles too."-Andrew, age 6
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how
you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."     -Mae, age 9

WHAT IS RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED
"23 is the best age because you know someone FOREVER by that age."   -Anita C., age 8
"It isn't always just how you look.  Look at me.  I'm handsome like anything
and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -Brian, age 7

CONCERNING WHY HUSBANDS AND WIVES OFTEN HOLD HANDS
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good
money for them."-Gavin, age 8

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -Del, age 6

"Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs ... and don't worry if
their parents are right there." -Manuel, age 8

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers.  You might get attention,
but attention ain't the same thing as love." Alonzo, age 9

"One way is to take the girl out to eat.  Make sure it's something she likes
to eat. French fries usually works for me." -Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
"Just see if the man picks up the check.  That's how you can tell if he's in
love." -Bobby, age 9
"People in love will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold.
Other people care more about the food."  -Bart, age 9
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like
to order those because it's just like how their hearts are... on fire."     -Christine, age 9

TITLES OF THE LOVE BALLADS YOU CAN SING TO YOUR BELOVED
 "'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'"     -Eddie, age 6
"'I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me When I'm with
My Friends.'"     -Bob, age 9
"'Hey, sweetie, I Don't like Girls but I'm Willing to Forget You Are One!'"-Will, age 7

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE
 "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -Dick, age 7
"Don't forget your wife's name ... That will mess up the love." -Erin, age 8

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie, age 6
"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette, age 8
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10

Rivky was worried about the thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, and her 7 year old daughter that would be walking the three blocks from Gan home. Deciding to meet her, she saw her daughter walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed. Seeing her, little Elka ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, Hashem's been taking my picture!"

Little Moishie walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a religious looking woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Are you a Jewish?" "Yes." "Do you read keep Shabbos?" She nodded her head, "Yes." "Do you daven everyday?" Moishie asked next, and again she answered, "Yes." With that he asked his final question. "Will you hold my Shekel while I go swimming?"

One day a space shuttle crashed to the ground in the yard of a preschool. When he finally struggled out of the wreckage, the astronaut shouted, "I'm free! I'm free!!!" At this point, one of the little children standing there shouted back, "Big deal, I'm four!"

 Attending a wedding for the first time, a little Shani whispered to her mother, "Why is the Kalla dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. Shani thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

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Answer is B–  Anyone that got this one wrong really should not be a tour guide. I mean this was a dead giveaway. Who even knows what Beit Jimal is? Besides those people that pass it on the way to Beit Shemesh. It's a monastery, although some suggest it has to do with Rabbi Gamliel interestingly enough. But anyone that ever saw Sesame Street knows how to play which of these things is not like the other. So besides that the other three are all UNESCO sites Megiddo and Chatzor being biblical sites (the third is Be'er Sheva) and Masada being the first UNESCO site in Israel. They are all Jewish. Now if they would've thrown in the Kotel, Chevron and Me'arat Hamachpela that would have made it interesting as they are not UNESCO recognized as they are not recognized by the UN as being part of Israel. They are "illegally" occupied. Let's see if Trump can change that as well.   So the score is Schwartz 9 and 5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

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