A Speaking Part- Parshat Matos- Masey 5780/ 2020

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

July 17^th 2020 -Volume 10 Issue 38 25^th Tamuz 5780

Parshat Matos-Masey

A Speaking Part

I wasn't meant to be a Sunday School teacher. It wasn't what I had signed up to do. We had come to Norfolk, Virginia to start a Kollel. We were going to teach in the Orthodox community that consisted of mostly young professional recent Baalei Teshuva who had recently adopted a more observant lifestyle. As well we were to reach out to the various congregations and synagogues in town of other denominations and serve as a resource for Jewish education and of course Shabbos Lunch chulent invitations. We had college programs plans and even collegiate High School programs, where we started Jewish clubs in these southern schools that not too long ago actually had quotas on how many Jews they allowed into their schools. But Sunday School was not really something that I had signed up for. Little-children-teaching wasn't really my thing.

But yet, the Rabbi of the community insisted. He had started the Sunday school to really serve as a way to supplement the children's Jewish education that they were getting at the Jewish "Community" school. There was no Orthodox Day school in town, and the Judaic program in the Academy was "community oriented". It was not on the level of where a traditional Orthodox school should be. So the idea was that we would supplement the children's education and expose the parents to what a Torah Day school chinuch might look like.  They might then realize that they were not getting it out of the community school and be motivated to start a school that would provide a Torah education-not just a "Jewish" one.

There were two problems though. One, we were forbidden to teach anything that they were learning in school already. So we couldn't learn parsha, Hebrew, or holidays with the kids. That didn't leave for much, particularly for the younger children. The second problem is that of the four guys that I had hired only one had any interest in teaching younger children and we needed at least two. Rabbi A. was our teenager Rabbi so he was already taken. Rabbi G. my only other Rabbi was confronted by one of the mothers who asked him if it was true that he did not like kids and therefore wouldn't teach the Sunday School program. He corrected her and vehemently denied it. He explained that it was only other people's kids he didn't like…He liked his own quite fine. That pretty much ended that conversation and it left only me the Rosh Kollel to fill in the gap. Ah well… so much for the privileges of being in charge.

Now, to be honest, I really had nothing against children, I like kids. It's just that I hated school myself as a child. I didn't mind learning and I loved reading. Just me and formal education were not a shidduch. I have teachers still in therapy from those days. Sunday School though is the worst of the worst, because you are taking their only day off and making them go to school. This was not my field and I really didn't even buy into the concept. But the Rabbi was insisting and it was my new job so I took a deep breath and dug in.

But what to teach? So I decided that rather than formalized learning for my 6-9 year olds I would teach them about the stories that they skipped in their more politically correct community school. But I wasn't going to open up a chumash, That's no fun. No, I had a much better idea. We would play-act out those biblical stories. Sounds good right? I thought so.

 Well the first week we did Kayin killing his brother Hevel in the field. That was fun. Every kid took turns being each of the brothers and we explained the story with all the pertinent midrashim that make it really fun and almost no one got hurt. The next week was parshat Noach. Now they had learned about the Flood and all of the funny pairs of animals that came into the Ark. But for some reason the school had left out the story of Noach getting drunk afterwards and how some of his children had modestly covered him up from his unkempt drunken slumber state whereas the one cursed son Cham didn't. That was really fun to play with the kids. They were good at playing drunk.

We covered the evil city of Sodom and the exciting medrash about the long beds and short beds and how they would make people fit (no-I didn't use a chainsaw- it was a plastic Fisher Price one). We acted out the whole war of Avraham and Eliezer killing the 4 kings and their armies. That was cool! We even did the throwing Yosef in the pit thing, there was no water but there were snakes and scorpions there. Their education was really getting enhanced with me and we were all having fun. Yet… After about 5 weeks or so they decided I probably wasn't the right man for the job. I wasn't sure if it was because they didn't agree with my methods of making biblical stories come to life or they were nervous of me approaching the Shimon-and-Levi wiping-out-the-city-of-Shechem story after they were circumcised and had kidnapped Dina. Regardless the Rabbi of the community took over the job for me and I went back to teaching adults. Thus my Sunday School teaching experience ended. The community did end up starting a Torah Day School the following year-and my four nephews go there until today, all's well that ends well.

I thought of this recently as I was filming my upcoming tour video for Mishpacha magazine (stay tuned hopefully next week). We visited different sites I did my tour guide Tanach stories shpiel. But he wanted more from me. I should act them out. What did he want? That I should go find a lion and kill it with my bare hands like Shimshon? I should grab a slingshot and hit Goliath with a rock in the head from it. I can barely get the paper towel in the garbage at the other end of the room…and we have the big American garbage cans. So we settled on some kids throwing rocks at the tree "that was the size of Goliath". Yerushalmi kids are good with rocks, trees not so much…

I'm not an acting out type of guy. I am an animated speaker, but Eretz Yisrael speaks for itself. I crack open a Navi, read a few pesukim and the land comes alive. The words of the prophet enter our heart and the land brings it to life. The hills, the valleys, the Tels, the streams, there's no need for shtick or costumes or acting. It's the real deal. Theatrics just take away from it all. It's the lesson Hashem gave us right before we enter the land in the last two portions of the Torah's narratives at the end of the Book of Bamidbar. The last book of Devarim that we start next week will just be Moshe's l0 week long final speech until Simchas Torah. But this week we end of Bamidbar with the power of the mere spoken word.

The parsha of Matos begins with Moshe commanding the heads of the tribes on the laws of making vows. Not just the simple ability and obligation to keep one's vows, but rather many of the intricate laws of invalidating vows made by one's wife or underage daughter. The Klei Yakar even notes that we derive the law that a man can be freed from his vow by a court of three men as being the same concept of the wife and daughter's vow being invalidated. Upon reading these laws that seem to just randomly jump out at you the question that is begging to be asked is what is this doing here?

 We've been reading all of the stories of the Midbar-wilderness these past few weeks since the second part of Bamidbar. We've had lots of action. The complainers, the plagues, the snakes, the hitting of the rock and punishment of Moshe and Aharon. We had the wars of Amalek (disguised as Canaanim), Sichon and Og, Balak and Bilaam, the command to destroy Midyan. And right here before we actually hear about the battle of Midian we take a break and discuss laws of vows? Why now? Why here? There are commentaries that connect it to the laws of sacrifices that also seemed out of place at the end of last week's parsha, but really? Why do we need the intricacies of the laws of invalidating vows here?

In his introduction to Sefer Bamidbar, The Netziv in his classic work on the Torah Ha'Amek Davar explains that the function of the book of Bamidbar is to separate between the generation that left Egypt and the generation that comes to Israel. To separate between the light and the darkness. The generation of Egypt were witness to miracles upon miracles; plagues, Sea-Splitting, Revelations at Sinai, Mannah from heaven, rolling wells, miraculous battles. The generation that comes into the land of Israel is one where that slowly starts to fade away. We're not in Sunday School anymore. There are plagues and we are healed when we look at a copper snake, but as our sages tell us it wasn't the snake that heals or make sick. We looked above the snake. We understood it all came from Hashem. We have wars, but the miracles are not clear. We don't see the victory against the Emorites. It happens when we are not looking and we only find out about it later. Amalek, our old enemy is dressed up like the Cananite and we have to do a real battle this time. Unlike the first battle with them when we left Egypt Moshe is not sitting on a mountain top with raised hands. The whole parsha of Balak and Bilaam- we don't see any of that either. It's a behind the scenes screen shot that the Torah gives us. Hashem is toning down the open miracles. He's behind the curtain that is closing. He wants us to get accustomed to the darkness. To see him in that darkness and reveal Him from there. He wants us to learn the power we will have with our own mouths to speak, to daven, to work and to create.

Moshe and Aharon are punished because they hit the rock. They failed to reveal Hashem that is present when we just talk to Him. They can't be the ones to bring us into the land because Eretz Yisrael will not be a land of open miracles anymore. We're coming there to reveal Hashem from the darkness. No longer to have Him reveal Himself to us. Our last parshiyos are focused on bringing this idea home and there is no greater idea than the laws of making and even more so invalidating vows to teach us this.

As we know there are different levels of Creation of which man is the highest-despite what some PETA people might tell you. There are inanimate objects, like earth and rocks. There is plant life that grows. There are animals that move and roam and there is us. What differentiates from animals our sages tell us is our power of speech. Do you know what that means? Animals have to roar to make each other heard. They need to show aggression, affection they're exciting to watch. Humans just talk. We can build a world and destroy a world with a few words. We don't need any fancy displays or fireworks. We're not exotic like the diverse animal kingdom. Hashem blew into us that same spirit of life that we are told He created with His words the world. We have the power by utilizing our words to do the same. To reveal Him in Creation by merely talking and expressing that spirit into the world.

A student of mine once told me that Torah is like a Disney movie. I was a little offended at first but then he explained. He said the genius of Disney is that kids can watch it and enjoy it on their level, teens can on theirs as well and married couples and even seniors as well can enjoy the plots and even jokes. There's something there for every one on every level. That is Torah. I liked what he said and elaborated. Because Rabbis have to do that… I told him that Torah is that way because each person has his words and his letters inside. It is for every one because we each have a part of it to study, learn, teach and bring out to the world. That is with our words. It's not theatrical. It's just reading and studying. But it's heavenly.

The laws of vows are called Hafla'ah which can be translated as something wondrous. The word also translates as "to differentiate", In Egypt, for example we find repeatedly that Hashem was mafli between the Egyptians and the Bnai Yisrael. When we make vows we are expressing the wondrous difference between us and the animal kingdom. Upon making a vow, one creates and establishes a spiritual dimension upon something that is not inherently holy. A person prohibits himself from eating something, from benefitting from something, those objects become holy and sanctified to him. It's not something that is necessarily preferable as Hashem has already guided us in things that we can and shouldn't utilize, but if one feels they need that extra restriction for their own spiritual growth, they have the ability to prohibit it as if Hashem Himself did so.

That prohibition though has to take into account the entire Jewish people. A father or husband can invalidate those vows made by their wife and daughters, because it is understood that they only made those vows to enhance the spirituality of the family. If they had known that he feels it is detrimental, they would never have vowed as such and thus it can be invalidated. In the same way the Klei Yakar says any vow can be invalidated by three other Jews. As all vows are made with one purpose, to reveal Hashem in our nation. Al da'as Hakahal-with the knowledge and appreciation of the community. It's not just about me personally, it's about revealing Hashem from all of us as a nation. We are all connected and it has to be part of the grand plan. Therefore, any three Jews have the authority to invalidate them.

The parsha continues with the vows that Moshe makes the tribes of Gad and Reuvein take as well. They say those vows that they will fight with the rest of the nation. They swear to it and they bind themselves with holy words. For that is how we reveal the light, when we realize our words have meaning. We don't have to make any dramatic shows, bring any fancy sacrifices or make altars. Just promise to Hashem and we have created something of eternal significance.

Parshat Ma'asey that recounts our forty-year journey repeatedly tells us that we travel by the "al pi Hashem- the mouth of Hashem", we camp "by the mouth of Hashem". It's not just giving us a recap at the end of the season and Book. It's the final messages of the book of Bamidbar, the book that transformed us in the Midbar-the wilderness, to midabrim- to speakers;to a nation that will reveal Hashem through our speech. We will create worlds with the study of our Torah. We will teach our children. We will show the world a country that looks just like theirs, that needs to be planted, harvested, that will need business, markets and infrastructure, but one that will respond to our prayers. One where all that they might see as an incredibly beautiful and advanced country, we will tell them about Hashem who created and is behind it all.

We enter the month of Av this week. It is the week when we sit and we increase our mourning for the country we once had. Yes, we have Eretz Yisrael today, but we don't have the Mikdash that we could show the world that Hashem established His home here so that we may reveal Him. In His place is a big golden pimple surrounded by houses of idolatry through out his Old City. He left because we failed to bring that message. We stopped speaking about Him and we used our power of speech against one another. We became like animals that don't speak and only react when they are hit with brute force. We sit on the floor on Tisha B'Av and lament. We cry. We mourn the potential we lost. And we ask Hashem to return to us. To give us that chance once again to reveal Him. To restore our mouths with song and praise. The month of Av is one when we minimize our happiness. This year I don't think that will be too difficult for any of us. Creation is screaming for us to fix it. The vaccine is Mashiach. It is in our words. May Hashem answer those prayers.

Have a healthy Shabbos and may we have an uplifting Chodesh Av

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" A Aider me zogt arois s’vort, iz men a har; dernoch iz men a nar..."- Before you utter a word you are the master; afterwards you’re a fool.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

36) The inhabitants of Tuba-Zangariyye are:

A.  Bedouin

B.  Circassian

      C.  Druze

      D. Shi’ite

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

A Rabbi Schwartz New song for 9 Days Acapella!!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/al-eileh-acapella - My three week's composition for the month of Av, Al Eileh an Ephraim Schwartz classic Acapella- the amazing arrangements and Vocals!

https://youtu.be/CIH1DW3Xju0   – Really cool Hollywood like depiction of Battle of Michmash from location and cool modern history story at same location (from our Era and Places Column) A little bible-ish but cool..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKSIEKX8enY   - I'm loving this Abie Rottenberg classic not that well known Modeh Ani… just listen again and again…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LCHuDMT_is&t=174s – With the threat of the closing of Shuls in Israel again I once again listen to this beautiful SY Rechnitz composition sung by Leiner and Levine Ashreinu

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/MITZVA CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat Matos-Masey – Vi'yashavtem bah –Settiling the Land–This is one of those mitzvos that it's almost incomprehensible that we didn't learn much about in yeshiva, particularly noting its centrality in the Torah as it is mentioned in almost every single parsha. But hey it's never too late to learn about it the mitzva to live in Eretz Yisrael. In this week's Parsha the Torah tells us

Bamidbar (33:51-53) Hashem spoke to Moshe, saying: Speak to the Bnai Yisrael and say to them: When you cross the Yarden into the land of Canaan, you shall dispossess all the inhabitants of the land; you shall destroy all their figured objects; you shall destroy all their molten images, and you shall demolish all their cult places. And you shall take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have assigned the land to you to possess.

The Ramban quite clearly notes upon bringing the mitzvos that the Rambam left out of his count of the 613 mitzvos that this is a positive commandment for all generations. In his words

"And I say that the mitzva about which the Sages expanded greatly, namely, living in the Land of Israel, to the point that they said that anyone who leaves it and lives outside the Land [of Israel] should be regarded in your eyes as an idolator… This is all part of this positive mitzva, for we have been commanded to take possession of the land and dwell in it. If so, it is a positive mitzva for [all] generations, binding upon every individual, even during the period of the exile, as is clear from many places in the Talmud."

Now the opinion of the Rambam whether or not this is in fact a positive commandment as well, despite the fact that he doesn't list it in his count is a matter of debate. There are those of the opinion that the Rambam holds it is a rabbinic commandment and the mitzva was just for the original generation that entered the land. There are others that say that he as well holds it to be a biblical commandment but doesn't include in his count of mitzvos as that list has specific criterion.

Now there is the opinion of Reb Moshe Feinstien (and Rav JB Soloveitchik ZT"L as well) that the mitzva according to all opinions may not be an obligatory mitzva but rather is an optional one. For example there is no mitzva to wear Tzitzis. The torah merely commands one who has a four cornered garment to wear them, but there is no obligation to wear a four cornered garment. But he who wears it fulfills the mitzva. According to some opinions in the Talmud learning Torah is a mitzva as well that one can fulfill by reciting the Shema each day, yet every word that one learns is a mitzva voluntary mitzva. The same with living in Israel. One may not be obligated to move, according to Reb Moshe Feinstien, although those that live here certainly fulfill a mitzva every second they are here. When times were dangerous to come to Israel and there was a danger that one could not fulfill the mitzvos here as well as they could in the Diaspora, many of our great Rabbis relied on the opinion mentioned in tosafos that one does not have to come. Whether this idea still applies today is certainly worthy of much personal introspection I would say. Wouldn't you?

The centrality of the mitzva of living in Eretz Yisrael is mentioned in halacha to the extent that a man can impose it on his wife and a wife can as well impose it on her husband where whoever chooses not to come would be obligated or forfeit the kesuva payment. The Gemara tell us that it is forbidden to leave Eretz Yisrael certainly permanently as one would be violating the positive commandment and perhaps even temporarily as well, unless one was going to fulfill a mitzva. The expansion of this leniency of mitzva the poskim say can even be visiting and celebrating with simchas of family members and friends, learning Torah, getting married, visiting graves of Rabbis to pray (although many poskim suggest that it is denigrating to our Avos and Imahos that are buried here to go pray by their "children" outside of Eretz Yisrael), and even for parnassa- making money to support ones family and Torah. However it has been quoted of great Rabbis that noted that we shukel our lulav when we ask Hashem on Sukkos during Hallel for Ana Hashem Hoshiya Na- that Hashem should save us. For Hatzlicha Na- that Hashem should make us successful-there's no need to shukel- You don't have to run away and shake any trees. Hashem is more than capable of providing parnassa here.

There is a fascinating and timely opinion of Reb Tzadok Hakohen that suggests that the mitzva of living in Eretz Yisrael according to the Ramban and perhaps even the Rambam is to conquer and to express sovereignty over the land. Even more than that it is to make it an entirely Jewish country. That was the initial commandment. We Jews are extremely sensitive to the concept of "ethnic cleansing" or making a place "Goyim-rein" But that was in fact the first mitzva of settling the land to remove all the idolaters and in fact wipe out the 7 nations living here and all those that refused to live in peace and not worship idols and observe their 7 noachide laws in subservience to the Jewish people. We don't have the mitzva today obviously to do that, yet it certainly seems that any area that we do establish sovereignty over is fulfilling the mitzva of settling the land. Just living in "their" land or in "occupied territories" and thus making the statement that it really is not ours given to us by Hashem and promised to our forefathers is not a fulfillment of settling the land.

Finally, for those that cannot live in Eretz Yisrael there is a way that one can still participate in the mitzva. The Chida writes that one who financially supports those that are living in Eretz Yisrael and thus helping them live here and fulfill the mitzva of settling the land, also participate in the mitzva. They are also "settling the land" albeit virtually. This was an ancient custom from when the first settlers moved to Israel in the 17 and 1800's, long before the Zionists platforms jumped on to the bandwagon. The earliest communities in Israel were all established and supported by Jews in the Diaspora that wanted to participate. And in truth many of those communities that are still around today are only here because of the merit of those that lived, dreamed and scraped whatever they could out of their meager income to send off to Bnai Eretz Yisrael to participate in the mitzva of settling the land. Anyone want to sponsor an E-Mail next week.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Yonasan &The Battle of Michmash Shaul's 2^nd war Part II-878 BC –We left off last week with the pending battle between Bnai Yisrael camped in Geva (Adam) and the Plisthim in Michmash (Machmus arab village- near Maalei Michmash in the West Bank today). All but 600 of the Jewish army had deserted and many were hiding in the caves when they saw the huge overewhelming force that the Plisthim came with "like the sand of the sea" they had spread out and had three forces that were split up to attack the Jewish settlements. One heading up to Ofra, another west to Beit Horon (near Modi'in) and another down South to the " Gai- Tzabuah-Valley of Snakes" which has been identified South of Wadi Kelt or Nachal Perat today where there is a Wadi called Wadi Avu Tz'Abuaa. Things were not looking good.

This week we are introduced to Shaul's son, Yonasan, who takes the initiative he takes his armor bearer and they head down to Wadi Michmash. The Navi is very descriptive to where they go and it's amazing that we can see those geographic markers down in the wadi till today- check out the Youtube video posted above. There is a pass where there are two sides where one is called Botzetz which was smooth and therefore impossible to climb and the second called Seneh was treadable; one was north from Michmash and one south from Geva. The Plishtim spot them coming and begin to mock them "check out the Jews crawling out of their caves" Yonasan devises a test. If they call them to come up to them, that means they are scared of the Jews, if on the other hand they tell them to wait until they approach it is a sign they are not intimidated. Sure enough the Plishtim called them up there. Yonasan and his man crawled up the cliff hand and feet and wiped out the 20 soldiers standing there amazingly. Word got out to the Plishtim and they were terrified. They started to flee.

All this noise awoke the Jewish camp back in Geva who witnessed the Plishtim in turmoil. Shaul marshalled the troops and word went out in Israel as all joined the battle and the Plishtim fled up to Beit Aven (Tel Miriam near Michmash). They Plishtim were trounced for day one. The Jews chasing the Plishtim wanted to stop and eat something. It seems in the rush to get out they hadn't eaten their Wheaties that morning. Shaul however made a vow and a ban that no one should eat until the battle was over. He did not want to stop the momentum. Unfortunately Yonasan no having heard the ban hungry after his huge battle took some delicious honey with his staff from the sugar cane fields they were walking through. When he was told his father had issued a ban. Yonasan protested. This was an inappropriate decree and ban as soldiers need their strength, it was also a strategic mistake. Was Yonasan right? Stay tuned next week.  I have never personally done this hike by Nachal Michmash, but I have heard it's amazing to go and see the actual site where this story took place. What an amazing Navi we have and what a fantastic country.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S BEING RIGHT JOKES  OF THE WEEK

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

The Sunday school lesson had just finished and the Rabbi asked if the children had any questions. Little David quickly raised his hand.
"Yes, David? What question would you like to ask me?"
"I have four questions to ask you, Rabbi. Is it true that after the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, they then received the Ten Commandments?"
"Yes, David."
"And the children of Israel also defeated the Philistines?"
"Yes, David, that's also true."
"And the children of Israel also fought the Romans and fought the Egyptians and built the Temple?"
"Again you are correct, David."
"So my last question is, Rabbi, what were the grown-ups doing all this time?"

Rabbi Bloom was testing the children in his Sunday Hebrew class to see if they understood the concept of going to heaven. So he asked them, "Boys and girls, if I sold my house and my car and gave all the money to the shul, would that let me go to heaven?"
"No," the children shouted out.
"OK," said the rabbi, "if I cleaned the shul every day, washed all our stained glass windows, inside and out and kept every prayer book neat and tidy on the shelves, would that let me go to heaven?"
Again, the answer shouted out was, "No."
Rabbi Bloom was beginning to really enjoy this ‘test’.
"Well then children," he asked, "if I was the kindest person in the whole world to animals and if I gave pieces of halva and kosher sweets to every boy and girl in North London and if I promised never to shout at any of you, would that let me go to heaven?"
Again, all the children shouted out, "No."
"Well," Rabbi Bloom continued, "how then can I get to heaven?"
With that, Aaron, a six year old, shouted out, "You’ve got to be dead, rabbi."

Four ladies from the Synagogue Day school’s fund raising committee are driving home one Sunday afternoon when they are involved in a terrible car crash. Unfortunately, none of them survive. When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, they are kept waiting to get into Heaven because the angel at the gates can’t find them listed in the book of heavenly new arrivals. "I'm sorry," he says to them, "but I can't find you in the book."
So he has no choice but to send them down to Gehennom.
A week later, God visits the Pearly Gates and says to the angel, "Where are those nice Jewish ladies who were supposed to be here by now?"
"You mean the fund raisers? I didn't see them listed, so I sent them to Gehenom" replies the angel.
"You did what?" God says, "I wanted them here. If you don’t want to join them, you’d better call Satan and get them transferred back here right away."
So the angel phones Satan and says, "Satan, you know those Jewish ladies I sent you last week? Well we really need them up here. Could you please send them back?
"Sorry, I can’t oblige," Satan replies, "they've been down here only a week and already they’ve raised £100,000 for an air conditioning system."

The children at King David Elementary school were lining up for the class picture and their teacher, Rabbi Epstein was trying to persuade them to pose nicely."Just think," he said, "how nice it will be to look at when you are all grown up and you can say, 'There's David, he's a lawyer' or 'There's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice piped up at the back of the room: "And there's Rabbi Epstein, he’s in shamayim (heaven).

 "

.Chaim Yankel, deciding to skip school, waited until his parents had left for work and called the school himself. The school policy was that if a child was absent a parent had to call into report it. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...

Chaim Yankel: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Chaim Yankel is unable to make it to school today because he is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note his absence. Who is this calling?"

Chaim Yankel: "This is my mother."

 Rabbi Goldberg was just a couple of months into his new job at Beth Israel Congregation but he decided it was time to visit the shul’s Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, "Rabbi Goldberg, this morning we're studying the story of Joshua."

"That's wonderful," said Rabbi Goldberg, "let's see what you're learning. Who tore down the walls of Jericho?"

Little Mikey Shapiro shyly raised hand and offered, "Rabbi, I didn't do it."

Taken aback, the Rabbi asked, "Come on, now, who tore down the walls of Jericho?"

The teacher, interrupting, said, "Rabbi Goldberg, Mikey’s a good boy. If he says he didn't do it, I believe he didn't do it."

Flustered, Rabbi Goldberg went to the Hebrew school director and related the story to him.The director, looking worried, explained, "Well, Rabbi, we've had some problems with Mikey before. Let me talk to him and see what we can do."

Really bothered now by the answers of the teacher and the director, the new Rabbi approached the shul board and related the whole story, including the responses of the teacher and the director.A white-haired gentleman on the board thoughtfully stroked his chin and said, "Well, Rabbi, I move we just take the money from the general fund to pay for the walls and leave it at that."

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Answer is A–  Nope I got this one wrong. I went with Druze as I remember that they were friendly arabs and the Druze usually are. Well I was right on the second part that they were friendly however they aren't Druze, they're Bedouin. In fact they helped Israel in the various wars against other arabs and many of the locals serve in the army. Ah well…another one wrong the score is Schwartz 25 and 11 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam. I'm still passing but really not doing great on this exam.