Karmiel

Karmiel
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Thursday, December 31, 2020

Yearly Returns- Parshat Vayechi 2021/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

January 1st 2021 (Finally!) -Volume 11 Issue 12 17th Tevet 5781

 

Parshat Vayechi

 

Yearly Returns

 

Maybe someone out there can explain this to me. Are any of you accountants or tax people? Why is it that on the one hand I can't deduct my 18-year-old and my 22-year-old son as dependents on my US tax returns anymore and I don't get any child tax credits for them anymore, despite the fact that I'm paying their tuition in seminary and Yeshiva, which thank God, praise Israel is a heck of a lot cheaper in Israel than it is in America. In fact, to be honest, their books in the States cost as much as the entire tuition I'm paying and I don't even get a scholarship! Yeah you should move here…But I digress back to our question. So I don't get any deductions or credits but at the same time those same "non-dependent" children of mine aren’t entitled to get their own stimulus grant from Israel's best US president ever because they are considered dependents.

 

{See how I wrote that there…It's really to infuriate everyone; those that hate Trump and can't see the word "best president" next to his name and those that love him will be upset that I only wrote he is "Israel's best president". I try to be an equal opportunity offender and sadly in another week or so I won't be able to milk the Trump thing for much E-Mail material anymore… at least for another four years shhhh …wink wink nod nod}

 

But really it doesn't make sense. Are they dependents or not? OK I’ll admit Yonah, doesn't cost me that much. He pretty much sits in yeshiva and learns and really barely asks me for an agura. Although his taxi cab bill for his dating life is starting to add up. But at least with hotels closed he doesn't have to buy drinks as he just goes on dates in people's backyards these days. Rivkah on the other hand still shops on Mommy's credit card, thank-you-very-much-Ali-Express. I don't even know what she buys and frankly I don't want to know. But I do get nervous when my wife tells me that it's good that I don't want to know. So seemingly if I'm paying bills here for them, then I should be allowed to deduct them as dependents or get a credit for them. And if they're not my dependents than why can't they get their own stimulus check. Then maybe they won't need Mommy's credit card or Daddy's Gett Taxi App.

 

Now I don't want you to think I'm complaining here. I really really appreciate the fact that there is this stimulus plan in the first place and that they're even giving me anything, despite the fact that I don't live in the States and frankly don't think most Jews should as well. I mean it would be one thing if I contributed a lot with my taxes to government, but after what they take from me here there isn't too much left for the Red, White and Blue.  So I'm not complaining at all. I'm happy that there are these stimulus checks and it's in dollars even. I mean the Israeli stimulus grants I received pretty much covered a falafel or two or shwarma, but not even in a laffa…which is really the only respectable way to eat a shwarma. God Bless the USA. I'm just trying to understand the logic, that's all. Or is there none, which is also fine. I'm kind of used to Government's rules that make no sense from this whole Corona thing by now. (It seems that Corona only effects 4-8th graders as the rest of the grades are allowed to go to school, and I have to gag in a mask the entire davening, but by Kiddush afterwards it's fine to sit next to everyone and eat…). I'm just curious if anyone understands this. It would be nice to get that money too. Let the kids kick some back to the old man…

 

Now this week's parsha certainly seems to introduce us to this idea of the children supporting their parents. In fact, it's in the first verse and perhaps even in the first word. Our parsha begins with the end of the life of Yaakov. In last week's parsha he had come down to Egypt with the brothers in the wagons Yosef had sent for him. He met Pharaoh and as per Pharaoh's query he told him that he was 130 years old. No spring chicken, for those that didn't read or forgot last week's E-Mail. This week we fast forward and the parsha begins with the seemingly redundant words and math calculation for us

 

Bereishis (47:28) Vayechi- And Yaakov lived in the land of Egypt for seventeen years, and Yaakov's days, the years of his life, were a hundred and forty-seven years.

 

As we know the Torah is kind of cheap on ink. It doesn't have to do math problems for us. If the Torah wanted us to know how old Yaakov was all it needed to say was that he was 147. Even if it wanted us to know how long Yaakov was in Egypt for-although I don't know why we would need to know that, it really doesn't take advanced calculus. He's 147 this week and was 130 last week when he came down to Egypt. Ergo- 147-130= 17 years in Egypt. Even Tully could figure that out and he's in an Israeli cheder. So obviously the Torah is not just trying to save us time from taking out our calculators. There must be a lesson in the Torah pointing out and highlighting for us these 17 years that Yaakov lived in Egypt and most of the commentaries all come to the same conclusion. But I still don't get it.

 

The short list of commentaries that I briefly checked include Daas Zekeinim Baalei Tosfos, the Baal Haturim, Rabbeinu Bachaya and the Ohr Hachayim Hakadosh and they all note that this is not the first time we find the number 17 in reference to Yaakov. If we rewind a bit we find back in Parshas Vayeishev when Yaakov finally settles down in Israel prior to Yosef's being sold to Egypt, the pasuk tells us

 

Bereishis (37:1-2) Yaakov dwelt in the land of his father's sojournings, in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob: when Joseph was seventeen years old, he was shepherding with his brother

 

"Aha!" they all say. Yaakov supported Yosef for 17 years before he was taken from him and now again the Torah wants us to notice that we find Yaakov living in Mitzryaim for 17 years, only this time he is being supported by Yosef. The reason the Torah is telling us this is to teach us that in the merit that Yaakov supported Yosef for 17 years, he merited that Yosef would be able to "pay him back" and support him for 17 years. In fact, Rabeinu Bachaya does a little more brilliant math for us and tells us that 17+17= 34 which is the gematria of the word Vayechi- and he (Yaakov) lived, that is the title of this Parsha. That is if to tell us that those 34 years that Yaakov was with Yosef, supporting and being supported, were the only years that Yaakov truly lived. The rest of his years were filled with trouble and tribulation. The Ohr Hachayim notes that 17 as well is the gematria of Tov- good. Those 17 years on both ends of Yaakov's life were the good ones.

 

Now all of this is nice and good and the math really works out well, yet it leaves me with two big questions. The first is, that is it really that big of a deal that Yaakov supported Yosef from when he was a baby until he was 17 years old. I mean it seems that even according to the US Tax law one can still claim them as dependents. Hey, maybe that's where they got it from? But really, jokes aside, it's a parent's job to support their children. It's a natural instinct, particularly a Jewish parent. Now some might say that might be true for a Jewish mother, but you know us fathers we just travel around and tour the country and leave the hard work for the parent that actually physically brought them in the world and that are certainly more qualified to do so. But Yosef was an orphan. Yosef, was the son of his beloved Rachel, of course he was going to take care of him. So what's the big deal?

 

Second of all and perhaps even more perplexing, is the question that is it really such a big reward to have your children become your providers? I think that most of us hope that by the time we come of age that we have enough savings that we can provide for ourselves and even be the good Zaidies and Bubbies that send money to the kids in Israel, or maybe even treat the whole family to a trip to Israel to tour the country with its best tour guide. Isn't it sad if we reach that age and we need our children to take care and support us? I think it's particularly tragic in Yaakov's case where it seems that at one point he was fabulously wealthy. He had herds and herds of cattle of sheep of goats, he was blessed by Hashem with everything and here he was coming down to Egypt in Yosef's wagon and dependent on Yosef's generous handouts to put bread on his table. What's the big reward about that?

 

The answer perhaps to both questions can be found in a story that I had heard. There was a young boy, Avremeleh, that was born in a DP camp right after the war. His father had seemingly disappeared, leaving the mother and child all alone in the world. They came to America and it was just the two of them. His mother, a heroic woman, rather than being broken by the devastating circumstances life had dealt her, placing her in a foreign country with a language she wasn't familiar with and no chance of getting remarried as she was technically still a married woman. and with the sole responsibility of providing for this child, picked herself up and did whatever it took for her son. Her life revolved around providing for him. She worked hard and made sure that he would have all of the opportunities life could offer him. And he did.

 

As time and life went by Mom got older and sicker. She was placed in a nursing home, but Avremeleh would visit her regularly with his children. She would teach them the songs she remembered from her youth and play with them. Yet time and age has a way, and sadly, slowly over the years she deteriorated, She no longer had her faculties and ultimately she fell into a vegetative state. Yet her Avremeleh would still visit, sit with her, stroke and comb her hair and sing the songs that she had sung him.

But after a few years of this it was becoming more and more challenging. The Doctors were putting pressure to ease up on the life-sustaining measures she was being given. There really was nothing left of the mother he once knew and the doctors had said there really was no point in continuing spending the money, the resources and the time as she would remain like this indefinitely. There was no real life left in her.

 

Avremeleh was torn. He knew that he would continue to do anything he could for his mother who had given him life, but he needed chizuk. Was this really the right thing to do? Maybe he should, as the doctors put it, "let her finally be at peace"? What was the point in all of this? So he went to his local Orthodox Rabbi for some guidance, for strength, for the right answers and inspiration about the wisdom of the Torah's way and Hashem's plan. He didn't leave disappointed.

 

In perhaps one of the most powerful insights of his life his Rebbi told him something special about his mother that he would never forget.

 

"Listen Averemleh, I know your mother well. Her entire life was dedicated to you. She lived each day and each moment for you to make sure you had the best life. There was no one else more important, there was nothing that she wouldn't do. It was her greatest joy, it was what gave her pleasure and meaning.

 

 Do you want to know why she is still here? Do you want to know what meaning her life still has? She is still here because she wants to give you still. Because she can't stop giving you. And do you know what she is still giving you? She is giving you the gift of long life. She is giving you the merit of fulfilling the mitzvah of honoring your mother and caring for her for which the Torah tells us one merits longevity. Her holy neshoma knows that as long as she can hang on in this world, that every time you visit her, she is granting you that merit. It is her final gift to you and she hasn't finished giving it yet. That's the reason your mother is still with us. That's the type of person she still is."

 

My Bubby Zeldy Z"L lived for a few months longer after the inspiration Rabbi Duetch Z"L of Detroit gave to my father. Yet that last message of her final years always remain with me.

 

We asked, what was the big deal about Yaakov providing for his son Yosef, for all of those years? I don't believe the merit that Yaakov had was that he provided the physical sustenance for Yosef, in as much as that Yaakov provided the spiritual foundation that Yosef would need for life. In those 17 years, Yosef learned everything he needed to know about his father and his values. Those lessons kept him and stayed with after 20 years of separation where he would still see his father's image before his eyes that would inspire him to remain at his holy state in all of his challenges. The verse tells us "These were the generations of Yaakov, Yosef." Yaakov had 12 children, but to Yosef, because of that immense love he had from his father, he felt like he was an only child. And it was that love and that vision that gave him the fortitude to transform the entire Egypt and rise to the greatest success in order to prepare it for our ultimate exile there.

 

In the merit of those 17 years of the spiritual greatness that Yaakov had given Yosef, he merited the ultimate gift that he would bear the fruit of that selfless work. He lived for 17 years in Mitzrayim. Egypt, was the cesspool of the spiritual world. Yaakov is known as the bechir of the Avos, the chosen and the culmination of all of our forefathers. His image is emblazoned on Hashem's holy throne. How could that holiness survive in Egypt? Imagine putting Reb Chaim Kanievsky Z"L in Eilat, in Las Vegas, in Thailand… It's incomprehensible. Yet Yaakov lived in Mitzrayim. He had tov/good=gematria 17, in Mitzrayim. He was able to do that because he had nurtured Yosef and now it was time for the realization that although he couldn't give Yosef that spiritual nurturing in Egypt, he could at least receive it and in doing that he was as well giving Yosef the gift of allowing him to give back and sustain him.

 

The year 2020 is finally coming to an end. Although we do the Jewish New Year thing, but even we recognize that at least the tax year ends on December 31st and it has been quite a taxing year. Yet there has been a lot of stimulus this year as well. It's been a year where we spent more time with our loved ones for those of us with families. Even those empty-nesters imaginably have spent more time Zooming, talking and thinking and praying for our families more than any year. As well it's been a year where we were all focused at different points on the significance of our spirituality; our shuls, our prayers, our Torah classes. It's been a year where we focused on giving, on protecting others and how dependent we are on each other and Hashem. Those are the best returns we could ever ask for. They are returns that will, Hashem-willing, last us for our entire lives. May they be the real stimulus that lengthen our lives, our children's lives and all our future generations as we await the true end of what will god willing be the upcoming most amazing Jewish year!

 

Have a fresh and exciting Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Far kinder tsereist men a velt.." For your children’s sake you would tear the world apart.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

10) According to the accepted Muslim tradition, Muhammad’s night-trip was to:

A) Medina

B) Mecca

C) Jerusalem

D) Karbala

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 https://youtu.be/G8etukBdZ5E    – Does it get more strange than seeing a chasidish guy like Yaakov Lemmer singing what seems to be a secular English song, but it is in fact a translation of Hanan Ben Ari's classic Israeli hit song Shvurei Lev… You tell me…

https://youtu.be/heSqWGZAvfU - For you Shtisel fans here's a little clip from this season's playing a Yiddish song davenen composed by Heshy Weinberger…. Good to see these boys back…

 https://youtu.be/Hiw2pUFu0Vg   -Joey Newcombs having fun with this Oorah "Gimme Five" infomercial song

 https://youtu.be/DDnRgzkxXc0  - Only Aish.com can put together a video like this 2020:vision the year in Review… There's too much to say what do you think?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 The Last Visit- Parshat Vayechi Our parsha and the book of Bereishis concludes pretty much with the largest funeral in the history of the world; the funeral of Yaakov Avinu. It is almost incomprehensible if one thinks of the honor that was given to this last of our forefathers. First the entire Egypt shuts down for 70 days of crying for him. That's over 2 months of total shutdown and it wasn't just pomp and show it was actual crying the Torah tells us. Then they had the procession, Yosef, his brothers and their families which must have numbered in the hundreds by then. Then the Torah tells us that "all the servants of Pharaoh, all the elders of Pharaoh and all the elders of Egypt and chariots and horse riders the camp was very heavy". Egypt at the time was the world Empire. It was like the US of A. So the equivalent entourage of all of the elders would be all of the House of Representatives, the Congress, the Governors, The entire White House Staff besides all the other accompanying paparazzi and Secret Service. We're talking tens of thousands of people at least. And they're not jumping on a plane. They're traveling on camels through the desert. But it gets better yet.

The Torah tells us that on the other side of the Jordan all of the Kings of Canaan and Yishmael see what's going on and they have 7 days of mourning there and then they also join the funeral march to Chevron. There must have been millions by this time. Yes, this was the greatest funeral ever. The party almost got stopped by Esau who tried to stop the whole thing from happening, But it seems he lost his head a bit and it was all resolved.

 This funeral it seems was Yaakov's last gift to the Jewish people, his children who would be exiled. It was the last time for the next 210 years that they would return to their homeland. Yet it was that memory that Yaakov wanted to implant in the hearts of his children. That scene that they would remember all their years in Egypt. The story of their last trip to their homeland where all the nations of the world came to show honor and recognize that this land was theirs. The birthright was his. The blessings Hashem had given to Avraham that this land will belong to his descendants was officially recognized. It's more than just moving the embassy to Jerusalem, or recognizing the Golan Heights and even god willing the annexation of the West Bank. This is the burial place of our forefathers. It is where we started and it is where we are meant to return and always keep in our hearts.

 The book of Bereishis begins with the story of Creation and the first Rashi (remember back then when we started this column…) telling us that the reason for this is so that the nations of the world could never challenge our right to the land of Israel. Hashem created the world and he therefore decided and granted that this land will belong to us. We have arrived at the end of the book and at the perfect conclusion if one looks at it from that first introduction. The nations of the world have recognized it is ours. We witnessed that at Yaakov's unforgettable funeral and our last trip there. With that knowledge we can then begin the next book of Shemos, the book of our assimilation and slavery in Egypt and our redemption and becoming of a nation. Because we had the lesson we never could forget. We only have one home. We will return there one day. It's the only place we were meant to be.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Yoav and Avner Faceoff Part II- 876 BC-  After that first battle with Avner's men the score was Yoav's men had killed 360 men from Avner and had lost 19 soldiers plus Ashael. If one takes off that 12 of those 19 were killed immediately at the faceoff fight, then it was 8 men killed about 348 which is about a 50:1 ratio. That's pretty impressive. Avner saw this and he knew he was in trouble so he fled. He fled to the hills of Binyamin to a hill region called Derech Midbar Givon, where he camped on a hill called Givat Amma. Yoav met him there on the opposite hill what would happen next?

 Avner it seems turns to Yoav's heart and poses the question

"Ha'lanetzach Toachal Cherev-Will you forever live by the sword. Do you not know the end will be bitter? How long will you tell the people to refrain from pursuing their brothers?"

 It is a strange argument coming from Avner who was really the one that started this whole fight in the first place. And Yoav, tells him so. "Why didn't you say this yesterday?!" Yet he has mercy on his soldiers and in an incredible display of discipline and restraint of the burning desire for revenge for his brother's death, he blows the shofar and orders his men to back off. Yoav returns and buries his brother Ashael, in Beit Lechem. Interestingly enough it seems that in ancient maps from the 19th century there was a site for his grave there, although today it is not known where it is. As well when one drives through the Chevron hills near the Yatir forest there is a small settlement of about 70 families called Ashael. In fact, quite a few families that live there are former Gush Katif expellees that wanted to continue their lives of the settling the land here.

  He then returns to Chevron to Dovid, while Avner returns temporarily to Ish Boshet on the other side of the Jordan in their base in Machanayim. The story is not over yet. There is still a lot of unsettled business that will need to be taken care of but at least for now the tribes had some quiet in their respective kingdoms.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S 2020 COVID JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 Slightly nerve wracking to think that this year is called 2020 won…. Perhaps even more frightening is that the following year is 2020 too!

 I don't know why Chabad hasn't thought of this yet… A tefillin stand by vaccination centers…"C'mon brother, one you already rolled up your sleeve…."

 The problem with Pfizer is that by the time you pronounce it correctly you have infected 5 other people.

 I was going to get a vaccine, but I couldn't find a photographer…

 Only in 2020 did we have Asara B'Tevet twice (January 7th 2020 and December 25th 2020)

 I don't need to know the whole plot for 2021, I just need to know if I need to buy new pants and shirts as my others don't fit or will my slippers and sweatpants be fine again…

 Cheder Rebbi in Israeli school: Class, who can share with us today something about their father?

Yankel: "My father is a Navi (prophet)"

Rebbi: "What makes you say that Yankel?"

Yankel: "He filled out my daily health forms for the next three months…

 The common denominator between Ani Etchasein ( I will vaccinate) and Ani Ethchatein (I will get married) is that you are doing something now that you have no idea about what the long term effects will be and what it will do to you in another 10 years.

 On a positive note, nobody has died of old age since March in 2020…

 This year it's going to be a New Years with no partying, no enjoying yourself, just sitting for hours bored. Basically it's Rosh Hashna.

 Bill De Blasio just tweeted that he is inspired by the so many homeless people in Central Parks he has seen self-vaccinating for Covid-19.

 Let me get this straight you've eaten bologna all these years but you won't take the vaccine because you don't know what's in it?

 My last year's New Year resolution was to lose 30 pounds. Only 45 left to go…

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Answer is C –  I wasn't positive if this was a trick question or not. I knew that Muhammed went up to heaven on this night journey in their beliefs. There he negotiated with  Allah to have "only" five prayers a day instead of the fifty that Allah demanded. One can say he Jew-ed him down… Now I knew he went up in their belief from Jerusalem's Temple Mount on a mystical flying horse. The Koran says he chained his horse to the corner place which in hebrew and Arabic is the katza- thus their mosque there is called Al Aktza. But the question was where he journeyed to and not from. But I went with Jerusalem anyways figuring that this was a tour guide for Israel exam, so it should be an Israel question. And I was right. Turns out he traveled to Jerusalem from Mecca before going up to heaven. So there you have it. All you need to know about Islam bubbeh meisehs…So the score now stands at 8 for Rabbi Schwartz and 2 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Spring Chicken- Parshat Vayigash 2020/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

December 25th 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 11 10th Tevet 5781

 

Parshat Vayigash

 

Spring Chicken

 

Back in the 1700's farmers discovered that chickens that had not gone through a winter and were born in the spring time were considered tastier and would thus bring better prices in the Market place. So when they would advertise their chickens for sale they would market them as "spring-chickens". Now there were some unscrupulous farmers out there that would try to pass off their older winter-born chickens as having been born fresh in the spring, and it worked on lots of people. But those real chicken connoisseurs knew after taking one bite of that schnitzel sandwich that what they were fressing on was definitely "no spring chicken". And there you have the origin of that oft used phrase to describe old fogey birthday boys like myself.  What other weekly Parsha E-Mail gives you this type of important life information. Consider it my birthday present to you.

 

Now being born in December in snowy NYC I don't think anyone ever considered me a spring chicken, although I have been confused for a beef shwarma occasionally. Yet becoming 50 brings it to a whole new level. I've been on this planet for a half a century. There haven't even been 20 centuries since the destruction of the Temple. There have been less than 40 since the times of Abraham. I'm ancient if you think about it in historical terms. And when you hit 50 those are the only terms you start to think in.

 

I read a story recently about the great 18th century Gaon, Reb Aryeh Leib Gunzberg. Ever hear of him? Don't feel bad, I didn't know the Shaagas Aryeh's last name either, although certainly the name of his brilliant work by which he was called is familiar to every yeshiva student. But don't feel too bad about not knowing his last name, for most of his life this great rabbi who wandered from community to community with his wife sleeping in shelters in totally poverty wasn't known to most people, despite his sefer having dazzled most of the Talmudic world by its incredible depth and halachic analysis. He was 60 years old when he was "discovered" by Rebbi Noson Adler in in Frankfort (the Rebbi of the Chasam Sofer) who convinced him to take a position in the large city of Metz in France. His light shouldn't be hidden from the world anymore. His roar needed to be heard.

 

So the opening week when he arrived was Parshas Vayigash, this week's Torah portion. Not everyone in Metz was excited about the new Rav. Not that they doubted his brilliance and leadership skills. He was just no spring chicken. 60 back then was like 90 these days, as the average life expectancy was about 45. I'm not making that up by the way, check it out. According to that calculation, it would make me about 70 or something now by today's life expectancy standards. Math was never my strong subject, for those of you making the calculation and are considering writing me a correction E-Mail. But it certainly was understandable, why they opposed the hiring of such an elderly Rabbi. It wasn't cheap to bring a Rabbi in to town and there was the obvious concern that at Reb Aryeh Leib's age this was going to be a very short term investment. Thus his first task as Rabbi was to convince the naysayers that he was there for the long run.

 

He began his drasha with a great question. Our parsha tells us that when Yaakov comes down to Egypt to greet Pharaoh. Pharaoh sees Yaakov and immediately, seemingly taken aback by Yaakov's old appearance, asks him how old he is? Certainly a strange and inappropriate question. Yaakov's answer is even more strange. Because rather than just giving him a number Yaakov launches into a whole drasha

 

Bereishis (47:9) And Yaakov, answered Pharaoh, “The years of my sojourn [on earth] are one hundred and thirty. Few and hard have been the years of my life, nor do they come up to the life spans of my fathers during their sojourns.”

 

As my grandfather used to say "Vehr hut du g'fregt?- Who asked you?" I asked how old you were- I didn't ask for your life story…What is this seemingly TMI that Yaakov feels the need to share.

 

The answer the Shaagas Aryeh explained, in this first sermon, was that Pharaoh saw that when Yaakov came to Egypt, the famine that had been devastating the land  for two years stopped. The country was being filled with blessing. Pharaoh wasn't making small talk with Yaakov. He was asking out of self-interest. You seem pretty old Yaakov, how long can we "bank" –literally- on you being here with us? To that, Yaakov answered that Pharaoh has nothing to fear. He hasn't even reached his father's age yet. He just looks old because of all that he's been through; the running, the losses, the challenges, the battles, the fights. That is what has aged him. But now that he's been reunited with his family. Now that they are all together for the first time in a long time. He has grandchildren, he has nachas, he has the peace and serenity that he sought for so long and never achieved. Now he can finally truly live. Don't worry Pharaoh, I've got plenty of juice left in me. You can count onme being here and bringing blessing to Egypt for many more years to come. And in fact he does. 17 more years- gematria tov-good Yaakov lives in Egypt.

 

Thus Reb Aryeh, turned to his congregation and told them that they as well had no need to fear. He was just getting started. He may seem old, but that was only because of his challenges and wanderings. But he plans to be with them for a long time. And in fact Reb Aryeh lived and served the community of Metz until the ripe old age of 90 and was active until the end.

 

Interesting aside is that the story/legend of his death is that a book shelf of sefarim that he was studying from fell upon him and he was terribly injured. Not long afterwards he told his students on his deathbed that all of the sefarim with which he differed and overruled fell upon him that night. As he lay there, he said, he was able to make peace with all of the various authors, except for that stubborn man, Reb Mordechai Yoffee, the author of the Levush. He refused to forgive him and it was then that he knew that he would be soon be departing this world. He ruefully paraphrased the verse Aryeh sho'eg- the lion roars M'I' lo yira- who shall not fear. The M'I' being an acronym for Mordechai Yoffee. And thus he passed.

 

Do you know that people tell you that age is just a number? It's not true. Age is the amount of time one has spent on this earth. It brings with it experiences, failures, achievements, relationships and hopefully some knowledge, personal growth and once in a while even some maturity. As one ages one has more and more that he or she can share with the world. In the younger years that sharing and influence may be more in the physical realm. We're stronger, more virile, we can create, we can build and we use our energy and vitality to make and change things that need to be done in the world. The years of our 20's, 30's and 40's the Mishna in Avot tells us are to pursue, to use our strength and to integrate them all into the world. The 50's, the Mishna tells us are for eitza- they are for counsel, the 60's are zikna which our sages tell us are to share the wisdom one has acquired and the 70's are for seiva- to share that sense of satisfaction and serenity one has achieved. The later years are about inspiring and influencing the world and making it a better place on an intellectual and more spiritual plane. It's not so much about the running and doing anymore. It's about giving back to the world the blessings you have received.

 

When I first read this parsha 37 years ago by my Bar Mitzva. It was so exciting. It was Yosef and his brothers, it was reunion, it was drama, it was emotional. I was looking at it through the eyes of Yosef and Yehudah, through the eyes of the brothers. I was looking at it through the eyes of the grandchildren Ephraim and Menashe. 37 years later, it is the figure and role of Yaakov that most catch my interest and inspiration. I think about his life, his wanderings, his challenges and all he has done and that conversation he has with Pharaoh where he states that he still is a spring chicken. He still has much that he will accomplish. He still has blessing that he will bring.

 

In fact, immediately, from that conversation with Pharaoh and onward blessing is pretty much all that Yaakov does. He blesses Pharaoh that the Nile should rise up when he approaches him. He blesses his grandchildren Ephraim and Menashe, he blesses Yosef and then he blesses all of the 12 tribes. Yaakov has finally surmounted the last of his challenges and much like the Shaagas Aryeh the rest of his life is dedicated with sharing his wisdom, his knowledge and his blessings with his children and all of the world.

 

I'm not 130 years old yet, like Yaakov, I'm not even 70 like the Shaagas Aryeh. I'm still a kid, a 50-year-old spring chicken compared to them. But it is my hope and prayer to Hashem that I can spend the next 70 years at least sharing some more of my blessings with all of you. May Hashem bless me and all of you that we all continue to age so gracefully, and timelessly and may we merit to shine Hashem's light to the entire world.

 

Have a fresh and exciting Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az me vil nit alt verren, zol men zikh yungerhait oifhengen." If you want to avoid old age, hang yourself in youth.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

9) The Keshet Cave is closest to:

A) Shavei Zion

B) Matat

C) Hanita

D) Yiftah

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/96uB39JPbqA   – Super Chaisidic Star Avraham with Israeli secular popstar collaborate for this beautiful song Betzoret

https://youtu.be/bFByvvn-Pt8   –  Uziya Tzadok it's incredible to have watched this incredible angelic voice grow-up. What a beautiful new song and great footage K'nes B'Lev

 

https://youtu.be/fOjGGECf54Q  -Joey Newcombs latest video lots of fun with Benny Freedman Mi K'amcha Yisrael

 

https://youtu.be/2n3jPcms_Ys  - Reb Baruch Chait and students of Maarava in a great new song and composition of his V'Sein Sachar Tov- sure to be a "Chait classic"

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

Benjamin's Land- Parshat Vayigash One of the most amazing things to do with tourists in Israel wherever we go is to talk about the portion of which tribe they are in. It's particularly fun when someone in the car has the name of the tribe we are driving through. There is a connection there all of a sudden. Wow, I'm in the portion of Asher and that's my name. It becomes theirs. And that's the point of the trip in the first place.

 

Perhaps one of the more complicated tribes though is Binyamin. He doesn't get that big of a portion. In fact, he's kind of sandwiched in between the large portion of Yehuda and Ephraim. Yet the Talmud tells us that there was a strip of land that came out of Binyamin and went all the way up to the Temple Mount, in Jerusalem, in the portion of Yehuda and as well there was a little strip of land that went North of Binyamin all the way into the portion of the tribe of Ephraim to the city of Shiloh where the Mishkan was. The reason for this the Talmud tells us is that the Shechina- Heavenly presence, will always rest in the portion of Binyamin. It is the blessing of Yaakov Chofef aluv kol hayom- it hovers over it all day.

 

What is fascinating the Mei Merom notes is that this week's parsha where Yosef and Yehuda are so to speak going to fight over Binyamin on a deeper level is connected to that idea. He explains that the reason why the shechina always needs to be over and connected to Binyamin is because unlike all the other tribes Binyamin is born in Israel. He has the holiness that only a sabra can have. One that was born out of Israel was born with a mission to raise up the sparks from the nations where he lives and bring them home to Eretz Yisrael. One who was born in Israel represents the inherent kedusha of Eretz Yisrael that is meant to shine out to the rest of the world. In fact he suggests that is the symbolism in the goblet that Yosef hides in Binyamins satchel. For the difference between a goblet and a cup is that a goblet has a base that can stand on its own, whereas a cup needs to be held, it needs to be supported externally. Yosef, whose job it is to lift those sparks from Egypt and ultimately bring them back to Eretz Yisrael understands that the time is not yet ripe for the light of Binyamin to return to Eretz Yisrael. It is the role of Mashiach ben Yosef to first come and set up the physical framework of Eretz Yisrael. That light will draw the nations here after we have brought all their sparks of holiness here. It is the role of the Mishkan that is the temporary dwelling that first rests in Israel where sacrifices can be brought from anyone that can see the Mishkan. Binyamin will have a role in that first. The first king of Israel will be from his tribe; Shaul Ha'Melech who will be anointed in that Mishkan. Yosef wants Binyamin first.

 

Yehuda, on the other hand represents the final redemption. He wants it to come already. He has already produced the great great grandfather of King David and ultimately Mashiach his little twin Peretz from his daughter in law Tamar. He feels that light already shining out and he wants Binyamin to join him to build that final temple in both of their portions. To skip over the process of Yosef. To forget about the sparks that have to be uplifted. It's what he is ready to battle for. It's the incredible crux and underpinnings of the dialogue between the two in the parsha.

 

It is an incredible thing to think about it. This parsha is the first time that Israel is Judenrein since the tribes of Israel were born. Yaakov comes down as well. The land has begun longing for her children. And in the discussion at the same time, the two tribes Yehuda and Yosef are already planning our return. Yosef cries on Binyamin's shoulders and Binyamin on Yosef's they are crying about the long exiles that we are still in today. It is the fire and fuel that has kept us for so long a nation no matter where we have been exiled. And it is that fire that will return us all soon to that portion of Binyamin once again with the Temple rebuilt.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Yoav and Avner Faceoff I- 876 BC-  During the life of Dovid there was never any out and out civil war between the tribes. Yet, with the crowning of Dovid in Chevron by the tribe of Yehudah and at the same time Avner appointing Ish Boshet, the son of Shaul as the King of the rest of Israel things were bound to come to a head. After the first two years more and more tribes joining Dovid, Avner decided it was time to do something. So Avner took his men and headed over to Givon. At the same time Yoav Ben Tzruya, Dovid's general and nephew, came with Dovid's men there as well. It was time to faceoff.

 

Personally I like to tell this story by Nebi Samuel. There's a nice ancient pool there and although this is not the pool where the following story takes place. It's close enough and hey, it's a pool! Biblical Givon though is in fact located just north of here Palestinian village under Area B on the other side of separation fence. In the 1950’s there were wine vessels that actually dated back to the time of Yehoshua that said Givon on it. As well the arab name Al- Jib is reminiscent of the city name. And in fact the ancient pool is still there. Today there is  jewish yishuv called Givon Hachadasha next to the Kfar.

 

So Avner makes the suggestion by this pool, that rather than going to war, why don't they have a faceoff between 12 men from each team who would fight against one another. The commentaries suggest that perhaps these were soldiers who he felt weren't that great in battle and he wanted to weed them out of his army. Yoav agreed to the plan, but it seems that it went south. The soldiers faced off each one with a sword against the other head-to-head. At the sound of the bell, they each lunged at one another and they killed each other. Boom. At that mayhem broke loose and Yoav's men attacked Avner's and trounced them.

 

Avner and his men fled and Yoav's brother Ashael, who was known for his speed set up the chase. When he finally caught up with Avner, Avner tried to talk him down, to try to get him to back-off. He knew that if he killed Ashael Yoav would never forgive him. But Ashael wouldn't let up. He continued to head towards Avner who hit him with the back of the spear. But it didn't help. Ashael died. Yoav was going to be mad. Avner and his men flee. What happen's next? Stay tuned next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE BAGEL JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

Not long after attending her grandson Paul’s 12th birthday party, Rebecca has a heart attack. Whilst in hospital, she starts to plead with her cardiologist. "Oy, doctor David," she says, "you’ve just got to keep me alive for the next 12 months so that I can attend my bubbeleh grandson Paul’s barmitzvah. He’s my first grandchild." 
"I’ll do my utmost to get you there, Rebecca," says doctor David. 
"Thank you doctor," says Rebecca. And 12 months later, Rebecca does indeed attend Paul’s barmitzvah. 
Ten years later, whilst Rebecca is seeing doctor David for a check-up, she says, "I have another request, doctor." 
"And what do you need me to do this time, Rebecca?" he asks. 
"In a year’s time, please God, my grand-daughter Suzy is marrying a lovely, lovely, man, a real mensh, and I desperately want to attend their wedding. So please, doctor, please ensure that I stay alive long enough to attend their wedding." 
"I’ll do my utmost to get you there, Rebecca," says doctor David. 
"Thank you doctor," says Rebecca. And 12 months later, Rebecca does indeed attend Suzy’s wedding. 
Over the next twenty years, Rebecca regularly visits doctor David for check-ups, and she always religiously follows his advice. Then one day, she suddenly phones doctor David. "Hello doctor," she says. "It’s Rebecca here." 
"Are you OK Rebecca?" asks doctor David, sounding worried. "Is anything the matter?" 
"Nothing’s the matter doctor," replies Rebecca, "I think everything is OK and I'm feeling fine. But I’m calling because I have another request to make. Do you remember when you enabled me to attend my grandson’s barmitzvah?" 
"Yes Rebecca, I do," he replies. 
"And do you remember when you enabled me to attend my grand-daughter’s wedding?" 
"Yes Rebecca, I do," he replies. 
"And are you aware that I've just celebrated my 80th birthday?" asks Rebecca. 
"Yes Rebecca, I know," he replies. 
"Well, I’m ringing you because I’ve just taken delivery of a new mattress," says Rebecca. 
"Mazeltov," says doctor David, "but why are you phoning me about your mattress?" 
"Because," replies Rebecca, "the mattress came with a 20 year guarantee!"

 

Old Moishe Applebaum goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

"Moishe, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician – I can't make you any younger," says the doctor.

"Who asked you to make me younger?" says Moishe. "You just make sure I get older!"

 

The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benjy was coming up to his 108th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him. 
"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter. 
"You could say that I am a health nut," Benjy answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I’ve been going to Israeli dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow." 
"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Shlomo followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 70. So how come it didn't work for him?" 
"All I can say," replied Benjy, "is that he didn't keep it up long enough." 

 

Avrahom walks into a department store and goes straight to the perfumery department.  He says to an assistant, "Today is my wife Sharon’s birthday and I would like to buy her a nice bottle of French perfume. 
The assistant says, "That will be a nice surprise for her." 
Avrahom replies, "It sure will – she’s expecting a diamond necklace." 

 

At his 103rd birthday party, the Rubenstein family gathered around Zadie Hymie for cake and words of wisdom.

“So Zadie,” asked little Stevie inappropriately, “Are you going to be around for your 104th Birthday party”?

"I certainly will," Zadie replied.

“How can you be so sure?” Stevie asked.

“Well,” Zadie replied, “Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."

 

Herman Cohen was horrible with birthdays and anniversaries. He couldn’t remember them for the life of him so he decided to compile a list so that every time he turned on his computer the dates would be highlighted on screen. Even this didn’t work well enough so Herman went to a computer store to find a software program that would do the job.

He approached one of the sales clerks who looked more senior. "Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" Herman asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.

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Answer is C –  Hey got it right! Actually Chanita was the only one of these settlements or kibbutzim that I think I visited in our tour guide course. Not that there's anything major to see there but it was one of the first choma and migdal-tower and stockades settlements founded in one night in 1938 in order to create facts on the ground insuring it would be part of Israel and it's right next to the Keshet cave. Shavei Tzion I pass near Nahariya on way up to Rosh Hanikra. Yiftach is on other side of the North not that I would know, never been there or heard of it. Finally Matat is not far from Meron and Tzfat, and I learned something interesting. It's called Matat because it’s the gematria of 840 which is how many meters above sea level it is. That's pretty cool and a nice tidbit for me to share when I tour the area if anyone ever comes here anymore…. So the score now stands at 7 for Rabbi Schwartz and 2 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.