Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend
in Karmiel"
January 15th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 14 2nd
Shvat 5781
Parshat Vaeira
Staff Election
Donald Trump will no longer have
a platform on this weekly E-Mail. I am removing him. He is canceled. I hope he
doesn't take it too hard. I will still take his sponsorship if he wants, to but
it will have to be anonymous. I hope that there are no riots or insurrections
as a result of my actions, but I just think that the world and democracy are
much better served if we all pretend like he doesn't exist. In fact, I think we
should pretend that his entire presidency didn't exist and really Biden is the
45th president of the United States.
Now don't get me wrong, I still
think that the US embassy should remain in Jerusalem and the Golan Heights
should be recognized as part of Israel. The Palestinian Authority should remain
defunded, we should have the Abraham peace accords with most of our Arab
countries and Rubashkin and Pollard should remain out of prison. But let's
pretend that it was always that way. The Embassy has been in Jerusalem since
1948. The Golan has been part of Israel since the time of Moses. There really never
were any Palestinian people and the Arabs have always been our friends. We
could even say Pollard was never even arrested, he was just helping out our
best ally in the Middle East and Rubashkin just shechted chickens for a living.
I know that this is a little bit of a stretch
and a distortion, but c'mon man isn't it worth it? It will bring peace, unity,
universal health care and stop global warming. It may even bring the pandemic
to an end and we can even erase all of the people that have died from it, as
the Democrats were in charge the whole time and they stopped the spread because
they told everyone to wear masks (unless they were peacefully protesting while
cities burned by themselves and stuff just disappeared from stores on their
own). I think it's something that we as a nation need to do. It's an easy
solution to everything. Hey, it might even bring Mashiach.
Now I know that there are some
people out there that might not like my plan or will be offended by the
infringement of freedom of speech or these slight inaccuracies, despite the
fact we've all kind of gotten used to fake news. But we can just silence them
as well. It's for the greater good. Listen, we tried it for years the other
way. We've had open mics, talk shows, unsupervised facebook posts, tweets and
insta pictures and look what it has done to us as a nation. It has created
divisiveness. It has created hate and intolerance. It led to the "worst
day" in the entire history of America and perhaps even the history of the
entire world. Can't you see how much better the world would be if everyone just
agreed and saw things the same way, and were only exposed to ideas and speech
that fomented that one universal viewpoint? I know, it's probably difficult to
imagine. It's been a long time since the world ever saw things that way, and
even then it didn't last that long. But we did it once. We can do it again. We
just need to take a trip back down memory lane to that last time it happened.
You know, back in Egypt…
Whadaya know? There was a faceoff
back then as well. One of the candidates was an evil, self-aggrandizing despot-
I mean he would wake up every morning and look at his image in the Nile mirror
as he relieved himself and convince himself that he was a god. He was going to
make Egypt great again; certainly the wealthy ones on the backs of the poor
blue collared hard slavery working man. He also had a lot of good real estate
holdings.
The other candidate was a
stutterer, with ties to foreign countries like Midyan. There were certainly
people that questioned his Egyptian Birth certificate as he was just found in a
river and they thus questioned his allegiance. He promised to free those
working men and take the wealth of the rich who had kept them down for so long.
It was racist. Slaves Lives Matter. If they didn't agree to play along, there
would be a reign of terror the likes of which they had never seen.They would
see their cities burned and looted and their country destroyed. The truth is he
didn't even want to run for office until he was assured that he really wouldn't
have to talk too much and in reality he would just be a pawn in the hands of
the Real Power that would control everything that would play out; Hashem.
Incidentally both of them had Jewish grandchildren. Isn't it amazing how the
Torah really can read like a daily newspaper, as the Baal Hatanya writes, if
you read it properly?
According to most of the pundits
the first debate was pretty much a flop. No one really convinced the other of
their causes. What started out as an ideological debate about who really runs
the world and who should have the final say, very quickly deteriorated into a
my-magic-is –stronger-and-bigger-than-yours contest. Aharon's staff turned into
a snake, Pharaoh's magicians did the same thing as well and then Aharon
one-upped them by having his snake turn back into a staff and eat all of their
snakes. It was fun to watch the whole show, but really whatever happened to the
good old days when people could argue and win based on the strength of their
ideology and argument? Yet it seems that
doesn't seem to be the tactic that Hashem chose as being the ideal for this
debate. Perhaps He realized that there was going to be a hardening of the
heart, where a pervasive spirit of "don't-confuse-me-with-the-facts"
was going to take place.
I know that we live today or once
lived in a time where freedom of speech and an open exchange of ideas and
tolerance of others with differing views was indoctrinated in us as one of the
most basic elements of humanity. But to be frank, it's really not true. It's
not the way it's supposed to be. In fact in the ideal view of Jewish ideology-which
is really the only true one- the Torah is quite opposed to this notion.
See the facts are that there is
only one true God. There is only one nation that he chose to be His
representatives on this earth and gave them the mandate to enlighten the world
to this reality. He called us His first-born and said we will always be
that way. We were obligated when we come to Israel back then to kill everyone
that wouldn't accept those ideas. We are totally intolerant of those who
knowingly violate the Torah, the Shabbos, who engage in licentious or alternate
forms of relationships which the Torah intolerably yet truthfully describes as
abominations. We have absolutely no freedom of hurtful speech, of gossip, of
fake news and we punish severely those that violate those prohibitions. And
trust me it's a lot worse than canceling their twitter accounts.
As well the Torah is quite clear
that all alternate religions not only are false but those that worship them or
their false prophets are subject to death for being in violation of the 7 basic
Noachide laws in the ideal society. Forget about impeachment or imprisonment,
we're talking stoning, strangulation, burning via hot lead poured down one's
throat or death by sword. Yeah… Hashem really isn't one for debates and neither
is the day that all Jews are meant to be hoping and praying for. chadeish yameinu
ki'kedem- return our days like those of old…
Now of course those of you that
are beginning to feel extremely uncomfortable right now will point to all of
those sources that tell us that death penalty was rarely meted out. Once in 70
years a court that killed would be called a murdering court. But that misses
the fact that those laws are not as theoretical as some would like to think, as
they are on the books and are "intolerant" within themselves by today's
standards. As well the Navi and our biblical history is replete with thousands
if not millions of gentiles that were killed in wars of conquest for precisely
these justifications. The first precedent of course being Hashem Himself doing
so in Egypt. We read about and celebrate each year the story at our Seder. We
are meant to remember our magnificent Exodus each holiday, each Shabbos and
even in our twice daily Shema; when we get up and when we go to sleep. Yet if
that is the case, then really what was the point of the whole
My-magic-and-staff-are-more-powerful-than-yours first debate? Who was Hashem
trying to convince and why?
Our Parsha begins with Hashem
telling Moshe that what is going to take place in Egypt is not a debate and was
never meant to be one. It is a revelation. Va'Eira, He will be appearing
and showing the world the reality and undeniable one Truth of the world. He is
the Creator, He is the One that is running the world and every aspect of
Creation and as Rashi notes 'He is Hashem that is faithful to give reward to
those that follow His ways and punish those that do not.' There's nothing
to debate. There is only something to be revealed that has never been fully
revealed before.
The tool of that revelation is
the staff of Moshe. The Zohar and Midrash note that it had the name of Hashem
written upon it. The Mishna in Avot tells us that it was created in the last
minutes of the twilight of Creation; right before that first Shabbos. Other
sources state that it came from the Tree of Knowledge and was passed down from
Adam through the generations to Noach and our forefathers until Moshe pulled it
out of the rock where Yisro, who had taken it from Pharaoh's palace had placed
it, and where no one else could remove it from. (It's the original Excalibur
story for those that have an appreciation of classic literary bubbe meisehs).
The word mateh- staff when
used as a verb means to bend or lean. A staff can be used as something to lean
and support oneself on when one recognizes that they can't walk on their own.
As well it can be used as a staff to hit someone with and to bend them to one's
submission, or perhaps even more accurately to "straighten them out"
as my Rebbi would say as he smacked his ruler in his palm with that familiar
look in his eye…
When Adam was in garden of Eden,
before he sinned, he stood upright. Hashem walked in the garden together with him.
He didn't need a cane or staff. The tree of knowledge growing in the garden and
the mitzva that he had, not to eat from it, reminded him Who was running and
had Created the world. Yet after the snake came and twisted things, the path
was not clear anymore. Slippery snakes are the polar opposites of the straight
and upright man and tree. They are the blinders that tell us that we can be
gods. It is no wonder then why this ancient story is told once again at the
beginning of Hashem's revelation. Aharon and Moshe show Pharaoh that their
staffs are in realities snakes. They are not supporting them, they are bringing
them further and further down and away from the truth. The Egyptians concur by
showing that it is really not a problem for them. There are many truths, there
are many gods. We can and will twist, turn and slither from one value and one
side and one god to another. There is no one Truth. All of our staffs are
really just snakes. They're good at doing that and Moshe knew it too.
Yet then Moshe, that holy pawn of
Hashem, showed him that the snake was really a staff. And His staff, the staff of Hashem, will ultimately eat all of
those snakes. Everything will be restored to the garden of Eden. Like the name
of Hashem that is written upon it, that staff will support and reward those deserving
that turn to Him and grasp onto it and will be the source of pain and anguish
to those that need the "adjustment" that it will provide for them. The
same staff that will punish Egypt will be the one that splits the sea. The same
staff that will turn the water of the Nile into blood will bring water out of
the rock for the Jewish people. Moshe is not having a debate. It's the beginning of the revelation. There is
only one truth that in the world, you can either rejoice and grasp onto it and
see it as the source that stands you up tall and proud, or when that truth is
revealed you will be swallowed up whole. There will certainly not be any snakes
anymore.
In case you haven't noticed the
world is reaching a point of such divisiveness and intolerance it feels almost
unprecedented. I think most of us on either side of the political spectrum can
agree on that. Although each will point the figure at one another as being the
perpetrator. It's not only American politics either. It's the entire world. It's
Israel. Although we Jews have been intolerant of one another for a very long
time and perhaps are even the real originators of the concept and degrees of
divisiveness that the world is still trying to catch up to tragically enough,
it reached proportions like it never has before. But unlike everyone else
decrying this, perhaps it's not a bad thing. Perhaps the world is getting
closer and closer to the notion that there really is only one truth. Perhaps
hopefully we are reaching the moment when the staff will swallow up all of the
snakes. A world without any more FalseBooks, any more Tweeting tolerators, no
more debates. The truth will finally be clear to all. We will all be uplifted
and grasp the mateh elokim, that heavenly staff of Hashem and we will
finally be redeemed. I think we're all finally ready for salvation.
Have an uplifting Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
***************
" Got zol af im onshikn di besteh fun di tzen makkes." God should visit upon him the best of the ten
plagues.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
12)
A relic from the Canaanite period can be seen in:
A)
Hamat Tiberias
B)
Ashkelon
C)
Port of Acre
D)
Caesarea
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/djuSP6ga_zc
– The
quarantined Lubavitcher and the Breslaver (Hebrew) cute
https://youtu.be/09Hrpy6jARA - Every
yid's a fire- Yoni Z's latest!
https://youtu.be/yxBhyUxEpNs
-I just love videos
that depict old ghetto stories and this Mendel Roth one (produced by Leizer
Sheiner!) Kulu Einai about Zusha is pretty awesome
https://mishpacha.com/take-2-with-yaakov-shwekey/ - Check out Sruli Besser's always great
interview with the always great Yaakov Shwekey!
https://youtu.be/CmcyN3sS4kY – 11 things I learned from Chasidic Jews
with Peter Santenello
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE
WEEK
The purpose of
it all- Parshat Vaeira– There is perhaps no mitzva or historical event that possesses as much
centrality in Judaism as our Exodus from Egypt. It's our prayers, it's our
holidays, it's on our door posts and tefillin, it's our Shabbos and it is one
of the 6 constant remembrances we have to have. It's even the introduction to
Hashem in the first of the ten commandments. But what was it all about? Why was
it all necessary? What was the point of the whole thing?
So our parsha
begins quite clearly, although you might have forgotten it because we only
drink four cups of wine, with the purpose of it all.
Shemos (6:2-4) And
Hashem spoke to Moshe, and He said to him, "I am the Lord.
I appeared to
Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Yaakov with [the name] Almighty God, but [with] My
name Hashem, I did not become known to them. And also, I established My
covenant with them to give them the land of Canaan, the land of their
sojournings in which they sojourned.
1) He never
revealed His name Hashem to them and 2) he promised that we would have Eretz
Yisrael. And therefore…
ibid (6-8) Therefore,
say to the children of Israel, 'I am the Lord, and V'hotzaisi-
I will take you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, V'hitzalti-
and I will save you from their labor, V'Goalti- and I will redeem
you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments.
V'Lakachti-And I will take you to Me as a people,
and I will be a God to you, and you will know that I am the Lord your God, Who
has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.
And finally the
ultimate purpose…
V'Hayvaysi-I will bring you to the land,
concerning which I raised My hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob,
and I will give it to you as a heritage; I am the Lord.' "
Redemption
wasn't ever about not being slaves anymore, not being persecuted, not even
about being taken as the nation of Hashem or even being given the Torah. All of
those things are of course necessary steps, but they're just steps to the real
goal. Coming to Eretz Yisrael and fulfilling the promise to our forefathers
that their children would inherit the land.
The Talmud
tells us ein ben chorin ela mi she'oseik ba'torah- that we're not really
considered "Free men" unless we are toiling in Torah. Yet we can be
free men but still not fulfilling the purpose and function of our freedom,
which is to live and practice that Torah in Eretz Yisrael. We are exiled free
men. Free men that are still so far from home. Free men that still aren't
fulfilling the ultimate purpose of our freedom which is to fulfill the promise
of inheriting the land.
We have sadly
gotten so used to only drinking the first four cups of wine that correspond to
the first four steps of our redemption. We have left that fifth cup for Eliyahu
Hanavi, but we can't forget about it. We are still awaiting the ultimate
conclusion to that redemption and the Torah has made it the centerpiece of our
entire religion. Remember Egypt. Remember our Exodus that began. Remember how
Hashem saved us, and took us and redeemed us. But the process is not over yet.
We're still in the middle. There is still an end game. We must never forget
that. It's what everything was always about.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S
AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Avner's Death - 876 BC- The
tragic end of Avner Ben Ner who was the general of Shaul, the one who backed
Ish Boshet was as tragic as the wrong decisions that he had made during his
life. On the one hand he was a mighty general, a respected scholar and
spiritual guide for Shaul. Yet, it was he who sowed the seeds of dissent
between Dovid and Shaul and after the death of Shaul between the rest of the
tribes and Yehuda, Dovid's seat and kingdom. Yet last week we talked about how
he parted ways with Ish Boshet and brought all the tribes back to accepting
Dovid as their King. Yet the Midrash tells us Hashem didn't want him to get the
credit for this. He had lost that opportunity already. Although Dovid was
willing to forgive and forget, it seems Hashem wasn't and either was Yoav
Dovid's general who's brother had been killed by Avner.
So our story
continues with Avner leaving with great pomp after breaking bread and signing
the peace agreements with Dovid. Just at that moment Yoav returns from battle
with much booty and is shocked to hear this news. He truly believes that Avner
can't be trusted. He feels that Avner is just trying to get Dovid to have his
guard down so he can attack him. Dovid doesn't see it this way and that's where
the story should've end. But Yoav's desire for revenge was too strong. He sent
messengers calling Avner back to Chevron and when he returns he takes
him around back and kills him by surprise. The midrash tells us that even in
his death Avner was mortally wounded but was so large and strong that he picked
up Yoav and was going to take him down with him. Yet, because of the pleading
of the people that without Yoav and Avner the Jewish people wouldn't have any
generals left to lead them and thus he let him go and died.
When Dovid
heard about this needless to say he was not a happy camper. This would look
terrible for him and his newly established kingdom and in truth he was truly
mourning the loss of Avner. So he made a tremendous funeral, crying mourning
and eulogizing Avner in a very heartfelt way. As well he "condemned"
the "violence" of Yoav and even said that they should be punished but
his nephew Yoav's family it seems were too powerful for him to do anything to
them. However he did place a curse upon him and all his descendants all types
of curses that all of them should suffer disease, poverty and death by sword.
Ouch! He publicly stated that Hashem should pay them back for the evil they had
done. Now that's a real condemnation… If that wasn't enough later on we will
read how Dovid's final words and will and testament to his Shlomo were to avenge
Avner and kill Yoav. It seems that this loss and the desecration of Hashem's
name hit Dovid very hard to the extent he took it to his grave with him. The
people were moved and they were convinced and Dovid's rule would now finally
take full hold.
The grave of
Avner Ben Ner is today in Chevron, right near the Mearat
Hamachpela. Unfortunatly access to it is limited as Jews are only permitted
to go there Monday and Thursday nights after 10:00 PM and the Special Shabbosim
and holidays when Jews are allowed into the entire Cave of Machpela
complex. Interestingly enough or bizarrely enough the Arabs claim that his
grave is the grave of Joseph the carpenter father of –you-know-who, who it
seems is a holy figure as well for them. Talk about a shanda…What can we do…
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE SNAKE JOKES OF THE
WEEK
What do you call a snake who works for the
government? A civil serpent.
What's worse than a box full of snakes? A
box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
What is a baby snake’s favorite toy? A rattle.
What's the best unit of measurement of
snakes? Inches, as they don't have any feet.
A
sheep, a drum and a snake all fell over. Baaa Dum Tsss..!
Why don't snakes drink coffee? Because it makes them viperactive.
What
do you call a Mexican snake? Hisssspanic.
Why can't Israeli snakes talk? They don't
have hands.
What do you call a snake that builds
things? A boa constructor.
Who is a snake's favorite author? William Snakespeare.
A snake walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "How did you do that?"
What do you call a funny snake? Hissssssterical.
What do married snakes have on their bath
towels? Hiss and Hers.
Why are snakes hard to fool? They have no
legs to pull.
What do you get when you cross a snake and
a plane? A Boeing constrictor.
What did the Mommy snake give to her baby
before she went to sleep? A goodnight hiss.
What do you call an important English
snake? Sir Pent.
What is a snake's favorite TV show? Monty
Python.
What do snakes use to clean their car
windows? Windshield vipers.
What do you call a snake that bakes? A
pie-thon.
I was taking care of my friend's snake
while he was on vacation, but somehow it crawled into our freezer and died.
I asked my wife, "What should I
tell him?"
She said, "Just give it to him
straight."
A
boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake
poisonous?"
The scout leader looks at it and says,
"No, that snake's not poisonous at all."
So the boy picks up the snake, which bites
him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look
on in horror. The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous.
Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right
next time, boys."
Chaim Yankel, a famer in the famed city of
Chelm, went to an insurance agency to try and buy a policy. The agent asked,
"Have you ever had an accident?"
"Nope," replied the Chaim
Yankel. "Last summer, a horse kicked me and broke a few of my ribs, and
the year before that, a snake bit me on the ankle."
"Wouldn't you call those
accidents?" quizzed the puzzled agent.
"No," Chaim Yankel replied.
"They did it on purpose!"
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be
still in Paradise.Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the
fruit!
Once, there was a snake named Nathan. All
of his friends, however, called him Nate.
One day, Nate was slithering along the middle of the road, when he came across
a large lever, placed directly in the middle of the road.
On this large lever, someone had placed a sign that read, “Do Not Pull Lever:
THE WORLD WILL END!!!”
As Nate sat there, in the middle of the road, pondering the urgency
created by using three exclamation points on the sign, there came a car
speeding down the road.
At the wheel of the car was a little old lady, and next to her, in the
passenger seat, sat her old lady friend. The driver was speeding, and could
barely see over the steering wheel.
So, there Nate sat, pondering the sign.
And onward drove the old ladies, speeding down the road toward Nate and this
world-ending lever in the middle of the road.
Much too late, the old lady saw the snake, and saw the lever with the sign on
it.
She had only a split second to make her choice: Would she hit the snake, or
would she end the world?
At the last second, she swerved, and hit the snake, killing him.
She turned to her old lady friend, whose mouth was agape at what had just
happened.
The driver just shrugged.
“Well, better Nate than Lever.
*********************************
Answer is B – I can't say with certainty that
there are relics in Ashkelon. There certainly is an ancient gate from the Canaanite
period there to see, although I've never been there to see it. So I assume this is the correct answer. Particularly
since all of the other sites are way after the Cannanite period by at least a
good thousand or so years. I imagine even if there isn't anything to see there
that it’s a mistranslation of the word atikot which means antiquities which
would include a gate although it's not a relic technically. So I got this one
right to and the score now stands at 10 for Rabbi Schwartz and 2 for the
Ministry of Tourism on this exam.
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