Karmiel

Karmiel
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Thursday, June 10, 2021

A Good Wife- Parshat Korach 2021/ 5781

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

June 11th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 35 1st Tamuz 5781

 Parshat Korach

A Good Wife

 

I'm tall. I don't mean Rechnitz tall. That's not tall. That's giant. But I'm just a very tall person. I'm almost 6 foot when I wear three inch heels. I know I'm tall because everyone else in my family is respectfully shorter than me. I kind of worked it out that way when I married a wife who was very short. She's beautiful, but short. Good things come in small packages they say. My towering height as opposed to my family works out nicely for me though, because I don't like to bend down to pick up things that I regularly drop on the floor. I figure that since they are anyways closer to the ground it makes more sense that one of the kids should bend down and pick it up. I have no problem reaching things on the high shelves for them. It's easy for a tall guy like me. And they don't really put anything too high anyways, since they can't reach it. But it does allow me to hide those pastries or nosh where no one else can get them.

 Now my son is Yonah could've been tall as I do have some tall genes in the family. Yet always one who wanted to show honor to his father, he stayed short. I in turn reciprocated and took all of his fat genes and absorbed all of those extra pounds he genetically should've had. What I wouldn't do for my children I tell you. Unlike his father though, he chose a tall Kallah that will reach and hide things on the top shelf from him. Although neither of them seem to eat anything so it might just be celery sticks, brussel sprouts, broccoli or some other green animal food. It's more chulent for me, so I'm not complaining.

 Now being a good father and a very wise one as well, I feel it is my duty to give my son some important tips for marriage and life. The problem is I really don't have tips for being married to tall girls. The Talmud shares its sage advice for one who marries a short girl in the tractate

 Bava Metzia (59A) If your wife is short bend down and whisper to her.

 The Talmud tells us that this referes to the importance of getting advice from your wife in worldly matters and certainly household matters. The Ben Yehoyada explains that it might be embarrassing to let everyone know that Mama is calling the shots. So if you bend down and whisper than hopefully she will whisper back and then you can pretend it was your idea all along. But who are we fooling? Everyone knows who wears the pants in the family. As I tell people I'm the Baal Ha'Boss. My wife is the boss. So maybe the advice for a tall girl is for the husband to climb up on a stool and whisper in her ear. I dunno, as I said I don't really have experience in this area. And to be honest I was never really good at the whispering thing anyways.

 Now as far as good advice for my soon to be daughter-in-law (July 29th mark your calendars!) I'm even at a greater loss. I have no clue how to be a good wife. I've barely figured out how to be a half decent husband. Certainly I know that they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and it's worked pretty well for my waistline. My cardiologist though has some doubts if it's doing any wonders for my heart. But I don't really think that will work with Yonah. As I noted before he could barely finish a half a falafel; fuggedabout a shwarma. Fortunately, though this week's Torah portion's subtext mentioned in the Midrash gives us some helpful tips. Or better yet what our sages tell us are the perfect examples of a good, smart wife and one that really wasn't, to put it politely. Welcome to Parshas Korach and let me introduce you to two wives; the wife of Korach and the wife of Ohn ben Peles.

 Korach, as we know, led a rebellion against Moshe and Aharon, claiming that the entire nation is holy. He campaigned on the idea that we don't need any leaders or priests to serve as our intermediaries to God. And if we do need them than frankly he was the best candidate for the job. It's kind of like the elections in Israel recently where right wings candidates said we don't need any Arabs or left wingers in the government and the left wingers all said we don't need any right-wingers in the government and that it should never happen that the two should be together for each one will destroy the nation. But…. if we have to have be together with the other party then each change their tune and say that they are the perfect one's to lead it…. I dunno. I don't think I'll ever understand politics. But I digress... as usual.

 In the end Korach's rebellion failed. Hashem opened up the earth and swallowed him and his family up. His 250 followers got killed by fire and another 14,700 got killed by a plague. It was not a good day for the Jewish people.

 Now the Midrash tells us that this fantastic idea in fact didn't really start with Korach. He was pretty much happy sitting on his couch and writing his E-Mail and surfing the internet. His wife though couldn't handle her unemployed husband who didn't get the job of being the Kohen. So she started hocking him. "It's not fair". "Who is Moshe to do this to you". And the final blow of course was that "You-look-really-funny-without-any-hair" line she started taunting him with. See, part of the induction process to the tribe of Levi serving in the Mishkan was that all their hair was shaved off, while Moshe and Aharon shook them up and down like a Lulav. Never make fun of a man's lack of hair. It's our soft spot. Korach who's name actually in Hebrew means bald, was particularly sensitive to this subject. A little like my son Tully when his weekly haircut that he demands his mother gives him doesn't turn out the way he wants it to.

 Korach argued with his wife that Moshe as well was shaved and bald. But she responded that Moshe's act was like Shimshon the Nazirite who said "Let me die with the Philistines". He only did it so he could make you look bad and was willing to suffer it for himself. She claimed that even the maaser tithes that he would receive he had to pay its dues to the Kohanim. Enough is enough, it's time to get off the couch and do something about it already. And thus Korach's life changed forever. Which really wasn't too long as the next day he was swallowed up by the ground where no one would ever make fun of his baldness again.

 On the other hand, we have the wife of Ohn ben Peles. He was from the tribe of Reuvein who being neighbors with Korach's family kind of got sucked into this whole fight. It seems it was a slow day in Kollel for Ohn and he spent too much time hanging out in the coffee room schmoozing politics with the boys. Not the best place to get further in life. Thankfully though Ohn married well. When he came home and told his wife that he was planning on checking out the hafgana the next day with his buddies, she set him straight. Unlike Korach's wife who schlepped him off the couch she quite the opposite sat him down on it and did some wifesplaining to him.

"I love you dearly honey, but this is a really bad idea that doesn't make much sense". See whether Moshe wins or Korach does either way you're going to remain the same shlepper in the coffee room. Sit down tatteleh, let me get you a drink and I'll take care of the rest. Ohn objected that he had taken an oath with his brothers. "But I promised them….". (Fascinatingly enough one midrash even suggests that Ohn was really the brother of Dasan and Aviram the troublemakers who also met their end with Korach's folly.)  Once again Mrs. Ohn tells him not to worry. She shikkers him up a bit, lies him on the couch and then she sits in the sh'aar/ gateway -of her tent and starts uncovering her hair. Obviously when the bro's come to pick up Ohn they take one glance at the immodest uncovering of a married woman's hair and run the other way. Which she pretty much knew would happen anyways. And thus Ohn ben Peles was saved by his wife.

 So the first important lesson from this Midrash I guess is, is that couches are pretty much good places for husbands to stay on and they really should be left there comfortably preferably with a bottle of wine. We get into less trouble that way. But more profoundly to me is the incredible echoes that we find here of the role and symbolism of hair in this story. It's not just that Korach means bald and Mrs. Korach teases him about it. As well it's not that Mrs. Ohn uncovers her hair. There are also echoes of themes that have to do with the parsha we read a few weeks ago that also have to do with hair. The parsha of the Sota woman that secluded herself with someone illicitly and was accused of being unfaithful and the juxtaposed parsha of the Nazir who vows to let his hair grow and to remain holy.

 Mrs. Korach makes the connection between Shimshon the famous Nazirite who dies with the Plishtim.  The name Ohn actually also means strength which is also a Shimshon theme and he seems concerned with his vow that he made. As well, we have a lot of Sota themes as well here. She uncovers her hair, she gives him wine which a Nazir is forbidden to partake in because that is what leads to the downfall of the Sota woman. She saves him from heading to what will be the burial ground for all of those that participated, just as Nazir has to stay away from impure places. As opposed to the Sota though she isolates herself alone with her husband and keeps everyone outside. There are even hidden themes if you really want to get carried away. The sha'ar gateway that she sits by to here tent also spells the word sa'ar hair and the ma'aser tithes that Mrs. Korach mentions also has the same letters as hair. Hmmm… What's the message here?

 Our sages tell us that these two women represent the verse in Mishlei/ Proverbs of King Solomon.

Mishlei (14:1) A wise woman builds her house”—this refers to the wife of Ohn ben Peles; “but the foolish woman pulls it down with her hands”—this refers to Korach’s wife.

 The difference between Ohn's wife and Korach's wife is their relationship with their house. A woman is known, in the words of our sages, as the akeret ha'bayit. She is the foundation of the home. She will build it and it is her vision to create that holy special place for the family to develop. The husband's role is the outside world. As we mentioned a few weeks ago in a different vein, hair is the extension of oneself outwards. It is us projecting ourselves out into the world.  A Levi has his hair shaved because it his role is to be the intermediary between the nation and Hashem. It's not about him. It's not his thoughts, his ideas, his influence. Rather it's all about serving as a clean, smooth connection between the Almighty and His nation. The rest of the Jewish men though could and should grow their hair as their focus is in the outside world, but they should get it cut every so often. A man shouldn't have his hair run wild, he can't be 24/7 running around, cutting deals, changing the world. He needs to cut his hair. He needs to come home. He needs to stop that ambition and realize that ultimately it is only from his home and its sanctity that he will be able to shine out Hashem's light in this world. If he is not grounded there, if his roots are not solid, if he is not bolstered by his akeret ha'bayit then ultimately he will be swallowed up.

 The Nazir is someone who's ambition and desire has run so amok that he requires a vow of abstinence to restrain himself. His hair growing wild is that symbol. Shimshon was born with that nature to conquer the entire Philistine army and enemy for the Jewish people. He required that vow his entire life to hold him in check. He was never blessed with a nice Jewish Kallah that could do that for him. Korach's wife looks out to the world rather than inside her home. Rather than focusing her energy in building a holy home for her husband to grow from she wants him to have hair. She wants him to keep his ma'aser. She views him as bald, and she doesn't recognize that it's because she hasn't provided him with the home and in doing so she destroys it.

Ohn's wife though is just the opposite. Her entire focus is creating that special place for just her and her husband and to stay away from the forces that are pulling him away. As opposed to the Sota who is running around outside. She remains in her home and secludes herself with her husband. Instead of her sipping wine with her friends and getting into trouble she has a nice cocktail with her husband. The vows that he made to be "out there" and "responsibilities" that pull him away from their home, from his base, she recognizes are destructive. Unlike the Nazir, he doesn't need a vow. He has her. She sits at the gate and uncovers her hair as she tells the world and those that seek to take her husband out of it that her home is sacred. No one will defile it by getting past her.

 We live in an upside down world today with many challenges. Despite all of the advancement of technology that should afford us more time to focus on our homes and family there seems to be so many more distractions and that pull us out of our homes. Even in worlds where the husbands are not sitting in Kollel, but are working full time, it is common for the woman as well to be a breadwinner. To be out there in the world that pulls us further and further away from the connection between a husband and wife, between parents and children, between building a home of peace where Hashem's divine presence shines out from. Klal Yisrael needs good smart women that will turn the world back on its head. That will direct that special potential our holy men have back inwards before it shines out to the world. May the two of you only strengthen one another. Build that home that we know has so much beautiful potential as you grow towards one another and from one another. But don't let Yonah grow too much. I still want to be the tallest.

Have a Chodesh Tamuz Tov and an very very happy Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az der man iz tsu gut far der velt iz er shlekht farn vayb."– When a man is too good for the world, he's bad for his wife.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

32) The first among the following who was President of the State of Israel:

A) Chaim Herzog

B) Pinchas Sapir

C) Yitzhak Ben Zvi

D) Moshe Sharet

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/X73AqkSBazA   Joey Newcomb latest video Planting with faith in memory of those that died in Meron

https://youtu.be/H6BXEAofKy8Gad Elbaz's latest video Kol Yachol

 

https://youtu.be/yFvE8RuO5jc  - Funniest moments in Jewish Music… I didn’t think so..

 

https://youtu.be/fdgG6PNl58k  -  Eitan Katz's newest song "No Words" play again and again and again… beautiful… Pure Eitan.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

 

A More Holy Land – Parshat Korach- At its simplest level the story of Korach can be read as one of just bad politics. Moshe had been "in office" too long. He was corrupt. He was making appointments based on nepotism. He created a hierarchy that creates different castes in Israel. The 90% of the Jewish population will have to pay their maaser tithes and taxes while the

 "Ty-Kohens" sit back and reap all the sacrifices and free living. That was his platform in the Anti-Moshe campaign that he led. He declared a vision of all being equal, all being holy no need for different classes and castes. We are all created in the image of Hashem. He spoke to all of us on Sinai. Why is there a need for this whole bureaucracy?

 

He was obviously wrong. Moshe, the humblest of all men, didn't even want the job in the first place. He certainly received everything he did from Hashem. There's no question about that. So why didn't Hashem just clarify that? What was the need for the whole face off? The ground opening up? Judaism is not a democracy. It's a theocracy. We get our messages from Hashem. Korach would lose the election and then retire. What's with all the drama. Why couldn't this just be a failed political campaign.

 

The answer of course is because of the tremendous danger of Korach's campaign. See, Korach's campaign was arguably the greatest threat that our nation ever faced and perhaps still faces today. Korach's theological argument that all our holy and there are no tiers in Judaism, no levels, no "more chosen" by Hashem threatens the essence of our nation. For if one follows that argument to its end there really is no basis for the Jewish people and certainly no basis for Eretz Yisrael. If we accept that everyone is holy and that we are all chosen by Hashem because he spoke to all of us and the Kohanim and Levi'im do not have a higher more demanding level of holiness and purpose, then one can argue that there really is no uniqueness to the Jewish people over other nations. Hashem created us all in His image. We are all children of Hashem. We are all loved by Him. Why should the Jewish people have to live differently; be different and holier.

 

As well if that's the case than why should the land of Israel be any more special? The whole world is created by Hashem. Why should one land possess anymore holiness? Why should one nation- our nation- have any more right to it than any other nation? Why should Yerushalayim be chosen as a holy city to build a temple. Hashem could reveal Himself anywhere. Everything is all the same.

 

To a large degree it is that slippery slide that Korach presented in his simple platform that has caused more assimilation, more disconnection from Eretz Yisrael, and from our traditions than any other idea in our entire history. For the essence of the Jewish people is that there are differing roles and hierarchies in the world. In the first pre-flood world the idea of the world being equal without a chosen nation to serve as it's light resulted in anarchy of the worst kind until the point where the earth itself had been corrupted and had to be washed away.

The post- Noach world would be one where there would be one nation that would have a higher role. We, the descendants of Avraham were chosen for that role and it was then that a land was chosen for us to shine out this light to the entire world. Within our nation itself there would be a hierarchy that would keep us and inspire us to stay the straight and narrow holy path and they were the Kohanim and Levi'im. And there was one city and one temple from where they would connect us to Hashem from where we would be able to draw all close to. Korach who missed that message, who fought and campaigned against that message needed to be eliminated from the face of the earth as the generation of the flood were. Yet sadly his rhetoric still rings out by far too many of our brethren who missed this week's parsha and the terrible consequences of not firmly standing up and yelling Moshe Emes V'Soraso Emes- Moshe is true and his Torah and teachings our true. We are chosen, our land is chosen because we believe in that Torah and have been faithful to it for 3500 years. Without it all we have is Korach where there are no differences between a Jew and non- Jew and we have no right or claim to Eretz Yisrael or Yerushalayim.

 If that is true than the opposite is true as well. Those that live in Israel, that move to Israel, that settle our holy land because of the Torah are the ones that are in fact giving the greatest testimony to our faith in Hashem and the essence of our nation. It is perhaps why it is so essential to live here. It is perhaps why our sages tell us that those that don't it's like they don't have a god. Eretz Yisrael is team Moshe. Isn't that the team you want to be on?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Avshalom's Plot- 840 BC With Avshalom having returned to the graces of Dovid as we mentioned last week, he slowly built up his image and popularity among the people as Dovid's successor. Once he felt he had the love of the people his next step was to declare his kingship or perhaps even more surreptitiously have others declare it for him. His first step was to get Dovid's permission to go to Chevron to bring offerings that he claimed he had vowed to bring upon being returned and forgiven by his father. When Dovid gave his blessing Avshalom then got a letter from Dovid that permitted him to invite two dignitaries to accompany him. He used that invitation to then gather 200 of the leaders of the Jewish people making each of them feel special. Once he had the political leaders behind him the next stop was the spiritual leaders and for that he snagged Achitophel the teacher of Dovid.

 Achitofel was from the city of Gilon for which the modern neighborhood in Jerusalem right next to the tunnels to Gush Etzion are located is named after. There are those that suggest that this where the city was as there is an arab village Beit Jallah right next to it. Others however suggest that this is in fact the other biblical city of Galim mentioned in Yehoshuah and the real Gilo is in the Chevron Hills near Chalchul near a place called Hurbat Jallah. And that's your geography lesson for today, now back to the story.

 Achitofel was aware of the prophecy of Nasan that Dovid would suffer a rebellion from his family. With him supporting Avshalom then the people would be sure to follow. He then coordinated that they blow the shofar in chevron announcing the coronation of Avshalom as King of Chevron and at the same time shofar blasts would go out throughout Israel of the same. The hope would be that the people would make the connection that just as Dovid began his reign in Chevron so too Avshalom his successor would as well. And so it went.

 Word got back to Dovid and Yerushalayim and thus 37 years of his kingship came to an abrupt halt with the rebellion of his son. Dovid will make his comeback soon and we will discuss it next week. But the sin of Batsheva will continue to haunt Dovid for the rest of his life.

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE MARRIAGE JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 

Marriage Tips

1) Chasan, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.

 

2) Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

3) “Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.”

 

My son wanted to know what it's like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

 

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it. He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in.

 

I don’t really mind sleeping on the couch. It’s like living my childhood fantasies about the Wild West – including the angry mama bear nearby.

 

What to give a man who’s got everything? A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.

 

Chanie and Rivky were talking.  "Does your Chasan have a stutter?"

 "Yes," said  Rivky "but no worries. Once we’re married, I’ll be the one doing the talking."

 

Moishie got a call telling him his wife has been taken to the hospital.
“Oyyy, how is she?!”
he asked.
“I’m sorry to say she’s critical,”
said the nurse.
“What is she complaining about again?!”

 

If it's true that girls will probably marry men who resemble their fathers, it would explain why so many mothers cry at weddings.

 

Brachie turned to her husband Berel and said “I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!”
But honey, what about our child?”
What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant…"

 

Optimist- A man who leaves the engine running when his wife says she’s “just going to run inside the shop to grab a bottle of milk.”

 

Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.

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Answer is C- I don't think I could name all of Israel's Presidents of Israel. It's really an inconsequential position in Israel. But I know that the first was Chaim Weizman and the second was Yitzchak Ben Zvi. So being that Weizman wasn't a choice the answer had to be Ben Zvi. As well I knew that Sharret was a prime minister so generally (besides Peres- who really was just an  interim prime minister for a few moments) the two roles don’t' usually cross over. Herzog, the son of the Rav Yitzchak Halevi Herzog who was the first chief Rabbi was a president in the 80's and his son now just became the 11th president. Sapir was never much although   So the score now is 23 for Rabbi Schwartz and 8 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

 

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