Insights and Inspiration
from
the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend
in Karmiel"
September 10th 2021
-Volume 11 Issue 48 4th Tishrey 5782!!
(CHECK OUT THE LIST BELOW OF ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PARTNERED
WITH US AND PLEASE CONSIDER JOINING THEM AS WE WIND UP OUR ANNUAL APPEAL AND
GRAB SOME EXTRA MERITS BEFORE YOM KIPPUR!!)
Parshat Vayelech- Shabbos Shuva
Train-ing Day
Even Rabbis that write
great weekly E-Mails have to do teshuva. And so I turn to you during the 10
days of Repentance before Yom Kippur and ask you to help me make my penance. Unlike
Alcoholics Anonymous though that have to go through 12 steps, Teshuva-Repentance
is only a mere three step process. It's really not that complicated at all. We
can all do it by the time you finish this E-Mail. Even before you get to the
jokes. Although they might need another Teshuva from me.
The first step is
regret. I feel bad about what I did. I hurt you. I sinned. I didn't do what I
was supposed to do. I should've been better. I wish would've done the right
thing. That's it. Simple.
The next step is even
easier. It's confession. Regret in the heart is all fine and good, but unless
you really verbalize and clarify what it is you did wrong, it really isn't
going to impact you. It's like when your kid (or we to our spouses) just say
sorry when we are caught messing up. It doesn't really do the trick. As my
mother would always tell me "Sorry for what???" She knew what
and I knew what, but she wanted me to say it. My wife does too. So does yours-
by the way… so get that smile off your face. Well, guess what? Hashem does as
well. It's not to torture us and put us through the wringer- and I mean my
mother, my wife and Hashem here. It's because they know that it's the only way
that it really will impact us. That will make our regret real, sincere and
meaningful rather than a "shucks I messed up-shrug your shoulders-and move
on ritual.
Finally-and this is
where it can get a bit challenging- the last step is the resolution not to do
it again. What makes this challenging is not the resolution. After-all once we
regret and we confess we certainly should feel that we don't want to mess up
again and we all want to resolve that we won't. The problem though is that most
of us know that inevitably we will mess up again. So it's kind of hard to make
a sincere resolution when we know we keep making them and breaking them.
Yet the truth is and
here's a little secret and a little tip to make it easier. For teshuva to work
we really don't have to guarantee that we won't sin again. We don't even have
to guarantee we won't do that sin ever again. We're not prophets. We're not
angels. Hashem doesn't expect us to suddenly to turn into an angel over night
or over ten days. What we have to do though is change something about the way
that we did these things so that we don't fall into that same trap again. Rabbeinu
Yonah of Girondi writes that we just have to become different people. The
person before this resolution didn't have a game plan how not to sin. The
"new me" though is at least someone who has resolved to take actions
that would prevent him or her from falling and failing once again. We're
determined to head in a different direction this year, as I'll explain.
The sin that I need to
repent the most for to you my dear readers is that my E-Mails are too long. Way
too long. Heck even this E-Mail should've been over a paragraph or two ago. You
deserve to read an inspirational, funny and insightful Torah E-Mail and not
have to sit there for an hour and half. I regret it each week. Especially on
those few weeks that I actually have the time to sit and actually edit it
before I hit send. Wow that takes time!
So there's my Part 1)
and Part 2) of my teshuva. I regret and confess and ask your forgiveness. Part
3) I haven't really worked out yet. Maybe you can give me some tips before next
season- which starts in a few weeks as we begin our 12th cycle of
parshas. What should I cut? What could I do better? What parts of my E-Mail
should live and which should be written in the book of death and deletion?
But at least this
week- especially since it's a short week. I'll keep it short and sweet. Here's
a quick incredible story and idea I shared with my shul and with numerous
others this week. The Alter of Novardok tells the story of Berel who was once
sitting on a train. As the train was traveling he saw his good friend Shmerel whom
he hadn't seen in some time a few rows up from him. He runs over to him and
they start catching up. Berel then asks him where he's heading? Shmerel tells
him that of course he's going to Warsaw. Berel looks at him a bit confused and
sadly informs him that he's heading the wrong way. Warsaw is in the other
direction. He's on the train that is heading the opposite way to Prague!
Shmerel though didn't
seem too concerned. He merely got up and said that it's not a problem. He took
his things and turned around and sat on the chair opposite himself facing the
back of the train towards Warsaw. All was good... Right…? "Wrong!"
yelled Berel "You're still heading the wrong way. You need to get off
the train and get on the other train going the other way. Changing your seat
doesn't help."
Last year we wanted a
prayed for a better year. A corona-less year. A less anti-semitic year. No
wars. No hate. More Torah. Return to "normalcy". Tourists. More
simcha. Less death. But that wasn't the plan. We're still sitting on the wrong
train, we were just asking Hashem for a different better and more pleasant
view. We just wanted to switch our seats around; perhaps even 180 degrees but
we didn't understand that the only way we can get to the destination is to get
off the entire train that we've been riding on in the past and get on a new
train. The new train is heading to Yerushalayim. It has nothing to do with
Corona being cured, it has nothing to do with less fighting, less talking in
shul, less lashon hara even. It's not about more tzedaka, more chesed or more
achdus. It's about the Bais Hamikdash. It's about Yerushalayim. It's about one
King on the entire world and the whole world knowing Him and recognizing that
there is really nothing else in existence besides His greatness and His
service. It's about everything pretty much that we said in the Machzor this
past Rosh Hashana and we will say Yom Kippur once again. That's called
switching trains.
That mindset is what we are meant to internalize.
It's a whole new big-picture world-view. If we have that view out of our train
window and that destination clear ahead of us, then we can make all the other
pieces fall into place. Hashem has been flashing that destination all year
round on those neon lights at the front of every train car. He's been
'Berel'-ing us with His conductor's shofar call all year telling us that we
need to switch trains. That's real teshuva. That's perhaps a change that cuts
to the root of all of our sins. It's what we really need to confess the most. Perhaps if we all resolve to put that thought
somehow at our forefront, then we can merit the words of the Talmud that when
the Jews will do Teshuva we will immediately be redeemed. We will have arrived
at our final destination.
On train rides that
have very short destinations, you don't take along a lot of reading material. I'm
hoping that by the time Yom Kippur arrives we are all on that right train. In
that vein I leave you this holy week with a shorter than usual E-Mail. Our
Parsha this week and every Shabbos Shuva as well the shortest Parsha. Because Teshuva
is really a short and easy trainride.It needn't be more than one stop, if we
are all aboard. The Engineer of our Parsha is Vayelech Moshe- and Moshe went.
The Baal Haturim says that Moshe went to the Patriarchs and Matriarchs and told
them that their children had arrived. It's a short journey. May we as well
arrive at that quick destination. I hear the engineer's shofar horn now. Last
stop Yerushalayim all aboard. Do you hear it too?
Have a holy Shabbos Shuva
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
**********************************
HIGH HOLIDAY APPEAL 5782
(THANK YOU TO THE SO MANY OF YOU
THAT HAVE ALREADY RESPONDED AND PARTNERED WITH US FOR THE COMING YEAR!)
To
all the rest of you that haven't as of yet responded…
HI!
It's your "friend from Karmiel" here once again turning to you as we beign
this NEW year of 5782 in the midst of this High Holiday season to ask if you
might consider helping us out this year. I know that all of you don't read our
weekly missives each week. They're long and who really has that much time on
their hand- besides unemployed tour guides. But you do get a chance every so
often to read and hopefully enjoy some of my musings, Torah, tour guide
questions, Eretz Yisrael insights and at least some of the jokes. As well I
hope you've been enjoying my Mishpacha magazine links and this past year my weekly
Whatsapp and Youtube Parsha short videos. If you're not yet on that list, by
the way, then send me an E-Mail and I'll be happy to add you.
This
year has been more challenging than most for our Shul and community
financially. Many of our local donors have lost their jobs, some have stopped
coming to Shul, and many of our regular minyanim have taken a hit. But Baruch
Hashem there have been good things that have happened this year as well. We
have seen many Simchas, not just personally but throughout our community. There
have been miracles and refuos and we have been blessed with many new Olim to
our community. We're certainly living in amazing times.
I
turn to you dear friends to ask if you might consider supporting our Shul, our
weekly insights that go out each week to thousands and are read around the
world. Our annual Shul donation and sponsorship income has dropped
tremendously. We were not able to make our annual Purim appeal and even our
annual pre- High Holiday weekly appeal is a fraction of what it was in previous
years. In the past I personally have helped carry the deficit in our annual
budget- I do not take a salary. Our expenses include rent, utilities, upkeep of
shul, programs and of course Kiddush. Our Shul brings together Olim and
Israelis from the entire spectrum of observance from Chareidi to those growing
in their yiddishkeit. We're not a big shul. We don't have huge expenses, but as
well we don't have large donors. Your friendship and support for our shul and
my weekly insights is meaningful and
appreciated.
If
you can find it within your heart to include us in you charitable giving this
year. Every bit helps and will help us tremendously in continuing to do the
great work in sharing the love of and passion for yiddishkeit, for am Yisrael
and Eretz Yisrael. As our partners you will share in that merit and make this Rabbi
smile as well.
Wishing
you and your family a G'Mar Chasima Tova and a year filled with only blessings,
simcha, good health and much yiddishe Nachas.
You
can contribute to our annual campaign either with. As of now sadly your
donations are neither US or Israel tax deductible. Although we hope that will
change in the near future as we are well into the process of working through
the necessary bureaucracies.
By using our paypal link on our
Holyland Insights Blog http://holylandinsights.blogspot.co.il/ and contribute via paypal
on our website.
ALL
CONTRIBUTIONS CAN BE MADE AS A DEDICATION IN HONOR, OR IN MEMORY, IN
APPRECIATION, OR FOR THE MERIT OF________ AND WILL BE SO NOTED
Once again I wish
to thank you in advance for your support and for all those who have expressed
their appreciation and gratitude throughout the year with your E-Mails,
sponsorships and dedications.
May Hashem
bless all of us with a blessed and sweet New Year.
Warmly,
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
***********************************************************************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
"
Di vegen fun teshuveh zeinen nit vainiker farborgen vi di vegen fun zind."-
The ways of repentance are as much
hidden as the ways of sin.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
45)
ANZAC soldiers fought in Israel at the:
A)
End of the 17th century
B)
End of the 18th century
C)
End of the 19th century
D)
Beginning of 20th century
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://youtu.be/VfXfZND0myo - Shuli
Rand Elul in concert… Amazing the crowd he's inspiring
https://youtu.be/olSXGtKysNU – You loved Thank You Hashem-
well here's the next song from the same folks that you will never get out of
your head and your children will not stop singing. "It's all from you Hashem!"
https://youtu.be/1bS5MjK6qF0 – Beri Weber HaMelech- this is Yom Kippur!
https://youtu.be/scNW_k2HYZE – Shlomo Yehudah's
Ulai Yachos Am Ani V'evyon in a new video!
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE TRAIN JOKES OF
THE WEEK
What do you call a locomotive that keeps sneezing? Achoo
choo train
All the ladies in town seemed to have a crush on the new train
conductor. They say he’s quite at-track-tive.
Train drivers are quite clever and known for their
engine-uity
Three Jews and three gentiles are traveling by train to a
conference. At the station, the three gentiles each buy tickets and watch as
the three Jews buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one
ticket?" asks one of
the gentiles.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a Jew.
They all board the train. The gentiles take their respective seats but all
three Jews cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes
around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says,
"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm
emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The gentiles saw this and agreed it was quite a clever
idea.
So after the conference, the gentiles decide to copy the
Jews on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they
buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Jews don't
buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed gentile.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a Jew.
When they board the train the three gentiles cram into a restroom and the three
Jews cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of
the Jews leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the gentiles
are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
Moshe is waiting on the platform at the station. He
notices a Jewish man standing nearby and asks him for the time. But the man
ignores him. Moshe then asks him again, and the man responds in the same
way. Frustrated, Moshe asks "Excuse me, but I've asked you for the time
twice, why are you ignoring me"
Suddenly, the man looks up and says, "We're both
waiting for the train, if I answer you, then when we get on the train you will
come and sit next to me, we will probably start
talking, and I may invite you to my house for Shabbat, there you will meet my
daughter, you will probably like her, you may eventually want to marry her, and
to be honest with you, WHY WOULD I WANT A SON IN LAW WHO CAN'T AFFORD A
WATCH?"
On his way to work one morning, Nathan arrives at Penn
station a bit early. While he's waiting for his train, he notices a new machine
on the platform. Tthe sign on it says it's a state-of-the-art talking weighing
machine. So Nathan stands on it, puts in a $1 bill and the machine says,
"You weigh 160 pounds and you are Jewish."
Nathan can't believe what he's just heard. So he gets on it again and inserts
another $1 bill. "You weigh 160 pounds, you are Jewish and you're waiting
for the 7:35am train to take you to your job at the Bank."
He is totally shocked, but he's determined to beat the machine. He goes into
the mens room, ruffles up his hair, puts on a pair of dark sunglasses, removes
his tie, takes off his jacket and drapes it over his arm, and puts a first
aid plaster on his chin. He then goes back outside, steps on the machine
and puts in another $1.
The machine instantly says, "You're still Jewish and weigh 160
pounds. You're also a shlimazel, you just missed your train."
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? The
teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be
the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep
track!
*********************************
Answer is D- This one was really easy for me. I
remember vividly visiting the ANZAC memorial in the Negev for the Australian
and New Zealand army corps that fought in World War I. It was just a hot
miserable day. But the truth is it's easy to guess this one as it just makes
sense that acronymed names are a 20th century phenomena anyways I
think. Well anyways I got this one right as they fought here in WWI against the
Turks So the score is 36 for Rabbi
Schwartz and 9 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.
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