Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
April 8th 2022 -Volume 11 Issue 27 7th
Nissan 5782
Parshat Metzora- HaGadol
(Last chance to order my special Pesach
book offer below..!!!)
I
apologize in advance if I fall asleep in middle of this E-Mail. It’s been a
long week. I’m jet lagged. I haven’t slept much and I’ve pretty much been
touring since I got off the plane this past Monday after my whirlwind trip for
the weekend to America. You know how when you get overtired you get more
energy. It’s pretty much been an adrenalin filled week. But it’s almost Shabbos
and I’m looking forward to hopefully catching up on some sleep and recovering before
my next jam-packed week. So excuse me if I doze off in the middle of this
thing.
Uh
Oh… I just realized that it’s Shabbos Ha’Gadol. I have a sermon to prepare. An
extra long one as expected from Rabbis this week. Some even say that’s the
reason it’s called Shabbos Ha’Gadol because the Rabbi is meant to speak extra
long about the laws of Pesach and ideas to share at the Seder Table. I wonder
though if a Rabbi speaks long every week, as I do, then maybe On Shabbos Ha’Gadol
I should give them a break. I remember once I told my shul that they can tell
if I had a busy week touring or not based on the length of my sermon. If my
sermon is long, than it means I had a busy week as I didn’t have time to crunch
it down and refine it. I’m just shooting more from the hip. On the other hand
when its not such a busy week I have time to shorten my speech and prepare it
properly. Someone piped up from the back that they think I’m busy every week….
Yeah that’s the kind of boys we got in my shul… They are my Rebbeim’s revenge
sending me congregants that can give it as good as I gave it to my Rebbeim.
Now
about that long speech though. Hmmm… when am I going to get a chance to prepare
it? What should I talk about. And really do people really need a long speech
before Pesach. They’re probably just as tired as I am. It’s Erev Pesach
everyone is busy like crazy cleaning and shopping. Maybe the speech is just to
put them to sleep. They tell their wives they are going to shul to hear the
Rabbi but instead it’s a nice comfortable place to lay their head to that soft
monotone that’s a lot more quiet than the noise and screaming of the kids in
the house. But what if the Rabbi, like me, shouts a lot in his speech. Then what
will they do? Maybe I should just give them a break.
Yet
it seems that long speeches before Pesach is part and parcel of the Pesach
preparation as well. After all what is the seder night but a lot of talking. A
lot of speeches. A lot notebooks from all of the children’s teachers. Most of
them you have heard before. But you still have to pretend to be interested. The
same way that your kids pretend to be interested in your weekly Dvar Torah’s or
your reading of this weekly E-Mail- at least until you get to the jokes. So yes,
it is a night of speaking, of talking and of making sure you don’t fall asleep.
The word Pesach Rebbi Nachman teaches us is in fact an acronym of Peh Sach- the
mouth talks. It’s a night of talking. Of speeches. And the prep is Shabbos Ha’Gadol
which interestingly enough as well commemorates the beginning of the last sleepless
nights we experienced when we were in Egypt. The nights that we spent counting
sheep.
See,
on the tenth of Nissan Hashem commanded us to take a sheep or goat as the Pesach
sacrifice and to tie it to our bedpost in order to make sure it wouldn’t get
any blemishes on it before we slaughtered it and ate it at our first Pesach Seder.
This was considered miraculous, because the Egyptians worshipped the sheep. It
was their astrological sign for this month and we were literally defacing it.
Imagine in today’s world burning the American flag or Israeli flag. It doesn’t
get more upsetting than that to some people. The ones’ that don’t upset by that
would probably be upset if you burned a “pink” flag or some other liberal symbol,
I dunno a picture of Obama or something. ( I don’t really think they care much
about Biden). Yet the Egyptians swallowed it. It was a miracle and we remember
it each year with a long speech on Shabbos. Hmmm…Is there a connection?
Now
the one thing that bothered me- and I’m sure you as well about this story,
although you were always to embarrassed to ask. Our Rabbis unfortunately frown
on us asking questions that aren’t typical. But that’s why you come here each
week. It’s the safe place for simple questions and no one makes fun of you. So,
admit it. You were also wondering why they had to tie it to their bed. What’s
with the bed? Why can’t they just stick in a nice crib or playpen in the next
room. A little dog run nor cage like they take on the plane. Do I really need a
smelly sheep or goat next to my bed. Even more strange or troubling is that
have you ever tried to sleep with a sheep tied up next to your pillow. Or a
bleating goat. I wake up when I hear my kids screaming downstairs, Shabbos
afternoon. My wife can hear the baby crying from downstairs- I have learned how
to tune that out. But beeehhhing sheep can’t be fun. See, what I mean about
sleepless nights before our Exodus. Shouldn’t we be resting up?
Reb
Avraham Shorr suggests a fascinating idea about the reason behind this mitzva
which is that generally the other nations all have places of worship. They have
churches, they have temples, they have mosques and ashrams. Judaism is
different though. The truth is even our synagouges are really a modern day
invention. They only came around after the Bais Ha’Mikdash was destroyed. Until
that time there was no such thing as organized prayer. Sure we came to the Temple
to bring sacrifices every so often, sometimes our new crops, when we did a sin,
had a child, or wanted to just say thanks to Hashem. But on a daily and weekly
basis, there was no shul. There was no place of gathering to daven three times
a day. We talked and communed with Hashem whenever and wherever we wanted. And
to be honest, it’s really the way it’s supposed to be.
Our
first mitzva which we read about last week was sanctifying the new month.
Hashem is telling us that our job as His nation is to take over this world and
the time and to elevate it. To renew each month. To establish the holidays. It’s
us bringing His presence into the dimension of time. It’s us revealing Him each
and every month. The next mitzva is to take those sheep and to tie them to our
beds. To bring Hashem into that most personal and private of places. My wife
doesn’t let anyone in our bedroom. She gets nervous when I want to show it off
to some people and show them that you can have a nice house with a nice master
bathroom even here in Israel- provided you move to Karmiel of course. Yet here
we have Mitzva to take that idolatry of the Egyptians, that notion that God or
in their case gods can only be served and realized in temples and slaughter that
concept. We bring Hashem into our bedroom. We hear Him when we go to sleep. We
dream about the sheep we will slaughter to Him. It’s our lullaby. Sure, it may
keep us up a bit. But at the end we calm that sheep or goat and tell ourselves
Hashem is here with me even in this most private place. He is everywhere and I
am close to Him always.
In
a few days we then slaughtered that sheep and put it’s blood on our doorpost.
Hashem skips over our doors when He sees that blood on our Mezuzos which is the
next mitzva we are commanded on. For our homes have become temples. We are
commanded to put tefillin oun our body, we are obligated to circumcise ourselves
because our bodies are bound with Hashem in an eternal covnenat. The shechina
resides within us. We have brought it down and revealed Him in the world. And
thus when we speak all Seder night and sing the songs of Hashem, it is the word
of Hashem, that spirit that He blew into us that is coming out. So we speak and
speak and speak. It is the Seder night when we stay up longer than ever and give
and hear the longest speeches. Because we are above time. We are above this
world and it’s constrained. We aren’t tired anymore, although we haven’t slept
for days. We are more alive and more real than we have ever been. We are
dressed in white like angels who never get tired either. Because they like us are
just mediums for the Divine spirit to be blown back into existence.
So
here we are approaching this special holiday. It’s a Shabbos to rest up and it’s
a Shabbos to wake up. It’s a Shabbos when we become Gedolim. When we become Bar
Mitzvahed as a nation. This year I have already made plans to be in Jerusalem
for the holiday. I’ve been eyeing some nice goats and sheeps on my tours and
there are plenty of them out there. I’m hoping and praying that I will put them
to good use. I haven’t yet attached any ropes to my bed to tie them up with.
But the truth is I don’t think they will keep me up. I’m ready to go. I’m ready
to sacrifice. I could use a good lamb roast this year. Anyone want to join me
for a Pesach BBQ roast in the Beit Ha’Mikdash. That will certainly be the “Most
Enjoyable Pesach” we’ll ever have. Oh and on that subject, do I have a good
book for you….
Have a huuuge Shabbos Ha’Gadol,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
************************
HEY GUYS!
PURIM IS OVER AND PESACH IS RIGHT AROUND THE
CORNER? ARE YOU READY YET?
WELL
IF YOU HAVEN”T ORDER RABBI SCHWARTZES
MOST
ENJOYABLE BOOKS YOU”LL EVER READ ABOUT PESACH VOLUME I AND II
THAN
I DON”T THINK SO….
Five years ago Rabbi Schwartz published his original work
aptly titled
"The
Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About Pesach"
http://holylandinsights.blogspot.com/2016/04/rabbi-schwartzs-new-bookmost-enjoyable.html
that totally sold out and has been since reprinted
Last year during CORONA he came out with his second volume
“Your
Most Enjoyable You’ll Ever Read About Pesach
Book 2.0.
https://holylandinsights.blogspot.com/2022/03/rabbi-schwartzs-next-most-enjoyable.html
From the slave pits in Egypt to the jungles of Africa, the
streets of Jerusalem to the locked-down houses in Karmiel, Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz with his enthusiasm, inspiration and laughter, guides you through the
holiday of Pesach as you've never experienced it before.
Whether you've joined him on tours, read his
Mishpacha magazine columns, been inspired by his teachings, or whether
you just like his picture on the cover of this book, you are sure to be
enlightened, inspired and entertained. Forget about the lockdowns, forget about
the masks, step into the light of freedom and appreciate Pesach in the most
enjoyable way
GREAT CHAPTERS INCLUDE
IMAGINARY WORLDS
SCAR-PLACE
JUNGLE TIME
CORO-NACHAS
THE FIRST SEDER
ZAYDIE MAYSEHS
PLAGUE-DEMIC
HITTING THE JACKPOT
GALUS AMERICA
THE MORNING AFTER
and much much more
It's the perfect Pesach Prep book, an amazing Seder
accompaniment and the perfect way to enjoy your holiday as never before
From the back cover
Quotes- That Were 'Never'
Said
Our father is a very wise man and we love
listening quietly at the Shabbos table to his Torah E-mails -My children
This book will cure Corona; if you read it you
will not need a vaccine, you will not need to be locked down, and your children
will go to school forever. Trust us we know what we are doing- The Ministry of Health.
This book contains no pictures of women and
barely mentions any female names— besides the ones who make chulent- Most
Jewish magazines
The best part of the lockdown is the quality
family time we've enjoyed while developing new healthy eating habits. Please
pass the Brussels sprouts -
the Author.
THE BOOK IS ALREADY IN AMERICA
(taking up place in
my brother in laws house who is on standby to ship them all out…)
SO…please respond to this E-Mail to Rabbi Schwartz
The book is one for $20
(65 NIS) donation to the Young Israel of Karmiel and Rabbi Schwartz'es weekly
insights or both for $36
(plus $5 shipping in
States where necessary)
Please be in touch and support our local Shul and give your
family some Pesach reading that they will all be fighting over!
TO RECEIVE THIS BOOK PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO
rabbischwartz@yahoo.com
with your mailing adress
Payment can be made
1) by Paypal at our blog
http://holylandinsights.blogspot.co.il/
2) or by Quickpay or Zelle to
rabbschwartz@yahoo.com
3) or by cash upon delivery
If you missed the VOLUME I original Book
"The Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About
Pesach"
you can order both for the special price
$36 (120 NIS) !!
With the same instructions as above!
************************************************
**************
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***************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH
PROVERB OF THE WEEK
Kurtzer geshlofen, lenger gelebt.- The shorter you sleep the longer you
live!
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE
WEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DPoHlvPvEc
– If you have not yet seen this yet. You don’t want
to miss it… Rabbi Schwartz at the Artscroll Siyum Yerushalmi video touring
Tiverya
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon
– Listen to my latest Pesach
composition Melech Rachaman- It’s truly
my nicest song.
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon
– Now listen to it
again. It’s the great Dovid Lowy singing and arranging it. It’s beautiful right?
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/melech-rachamon
– Ok one more time just to make sure you remember it 😊
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
22) Unique ritual baths (mikvaot)
can be seen in the Judean Desert at: _________
A religious/historical figure who
may be associated with this site is:
A)
Moshe Rabbenu
B)
Elijah the Prophet
C)
Jeremiah the Prophet
D)
John the Baptist
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/SHABBOS
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
2 Birds 2 Goats and 2 Candles -Parshat Metzora - This week we
read the parsha of the purification of Metzora. It’s a strange process that
seems mystical and that begs interpretation. We are told of two birds that are
brought. The first one is slaughtered into water into an earthenware vessel
filled with fresh water. A cedar and hyssop branch tied with a red string is
dipped into the blood with a live bird and then sprinkled on the Metzora and
the live bird is then sent free to fly away on the field. What is the symbolism
of these two birds?
One can’t fail to note the similarity of this purification
process to that of the Yom Kippur goat offerings of the Kohen. There as well we
have two goats wherein a lottery is made. One goat is selected for Hashem and
the other is sent off to the wilderness where it is chucked off the mountain
with the sins of Israel. Again, what is the symbolism of all of this?
The Nesivos Sholom explains that there are two paths to
coming close to Hashem; two exercises or spiritual tasks that we must do. The
first is what King David refers to as Sur Me’ra- leaving one’s evil ways while
the second is Asei Tov- doing good. We need to do both. But where and how does
it start from. What is the fuel and energy that drives each action.
Leaving one’s evil ways can really start from two
different points. The first is the fear of Hashem. The recognition that there
is a day of judgement, the realization that the path that they are on is one
that will never give them happiness or meaning. It just leads to misery The
other reason one leaves his evil path is because of his tremendous love and
appreciation for Hashem. He so much wants to be close to Hashem that he doesn’t
want to do anything that will break that special relationship.
In general the path one takes is to first leave his wayward
path because of his fear of Hashem. Yet there are times when one has so much
love of Hashem or appreciation of the relationship that first he does good.
First he comes close. The Metzora is thrown out of the camp. He realizes the
consequences of his action when he wants to return he first slaughters that
bird and brings it to Hashem. He does a positive action; asey tov. Once he does
that then he takes the other bird that symbolizes his sins and dips it into
that purifying water of love and sends his sins away. Not out of fear of
punishment but out of the humility and breaking of his ego that comes naturally
when he feels the love and closeness of Hashem.
Similarly on Yom Kippur. The first goat is slaughtered by
the High Priest who symbolizes that love of Hashem and the Jewish people. Only
then do we send away the second goat. Then we are purified. Then we experience the
love and joy of Yom Kippur.
Each Shabbos as well we have two candles that we light.
We have two commandments that they represent. Remember the day of Shabbos and guard
it. Asey Tov and Sur Me’Rah. In the first narrative it mentions first remembering
the day of Shabbos. It shouldn’t be a day when we return to Hashem because of
the fear of our sins. Rather it is a day when we come close because we remember
how he took us out of Egypt. The love He showed us. The Shamor- guarding Shabbos
has to come from the positive energy not the negative one.
This Shabbos is Shabbos Ha’Gadol. We remember how the
Jews first commandment was to take that idolatry, that sheep and sacrifice it. We
eat that sheep and goat in the positive sense, like kings, because we are
filled with love. We have transformed our sins into a mitzva. We have become
great- gedolim as a result.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN
ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
King Asa the righteous- 775 BC- After the death of Aviya
who had also sinned in the ways of Hashem leaving the temples of Yeravam
that he had conquered; the tribe of Yehudah got its first righteous king
named Asa. We are told he followed in the path of his great grandfather Dovid.
He did this despite his mother the queen being the one who introduced much
idolatry into the land. What was the
idol that she created? The navi calls it a miphletzet- which in modern Hebrew
translates as a monster. It seems she made this grotesque creature by the Kidron
valley, which runs between the Mt. of Olives and the Temple Mount
in Yerushalayim, and she would worship there. It’s mindboggling to think about
Jews worshipping this right outside of the Temple. Asa upon coming to power
removes his mother from her position and destroys and burns it pouring its
ashes into the valley.
He then rid all of Yehudah
of idols and went to battle in Maresha which is near Beit Guvrin
and fought against Zerah the Kushi who came up from the Philistine
territory in Gerar. It was a huge battle with a few hundred Jewish soldiers
against close to million of their army. Because of his righteousness and
prayers as well they were successful pushing them all the way back to Gerar
and destroying and pillaging their cities.
With that victory under his belt, he began gathering the tribes of Ephraim,
Shimon and Menashe and bringing them back into the fold. He declared a
major gathering in Yerushalayim and they sacrificed hundreds of cattle
and thousands of sheep. They all took an oath to keep the Torah and remove
idolatry from their midst. Trumpets blared. Faith was renewed. It was the best
of times and it lasted for 35 years of his reign. His one failing though was that
he couldn’t remove the private altars people had to Hashem in their backyards
called Bamos. Jews before the Temple had been accustomed to worshipping
on them as prior to the Temple they were permitted. But they couldn’t seem to
kick the habit. That failing will come back to haunt him at the end of his reign
as he goes to war next week with the Baasha the King of the North.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE SLEEPLESS JOKES OF THE
WEEK
What happens if you sleep on your smartphone?
You download a nap.
When is the perfect time for the cattle to go to
sleep? Pasture bedtime.
How will you prove that you are not a light
sleeper? Go sleep in the dark.
People with insomnia are pretty cool, They’re up for
anything
The doctor told me I have either amnesia or insomnia, I
can't remember which one and it's making me lose sleep!
How does the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia
spend his time? Staying up all night wondering if there is a dog
I have been trying to understand why my candle has such
bad insomnia......guess there is no rest for the wicked.
I
had to break up with my girlfriend who suffered from insomnia She just wasn’t
very into-resting
My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake.
She's a nightmare
Do you know why bicycles can’t stand on their
own? Because they are tired.
"Doctor, I tell you, the therapy you
gave me for my insomnia was too hard"
"What? I just recommended warm milk,
honey and a hot bath before going to sleep. What's so hard about that?!"
"Well, milk and honey was easy, but the
hot bath... I was never able to drink it all... "
"Listen to me, Mr. Levy," said
the doctor. "If you ever expect
to cure your insomnia, you will have to stop taking your trouble to bed with
you."
"I know, but I can't," said Herb Levy.
"My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish
before he goes to sleep? So that he can rise and shine.
Why did the man run around his bed? He wanted to
catch up on his sleep!
Do you
know at what time tennis players go to sleep? At ten-nish.
What do
sheep count when they can’t sleep? People.
What happens when you dream that you wrote ‘The
Lord Of The Rings?’ You start Tolkien in your sleep.
*******************************
Answer
is D -A pretty easy question
although it’s not a place I tour often, which of course should tell you the
answer already, although I do talk about the place quite often as we driver
down towards Ein Gedi. The site of all of the 2nd Temple period
Mikvaos is of course Kumran or Qumran as Israelis have a letter’ Q’ fetish. It’s
there where the Essenes who left the fights between the Perushim (Pharisees)
and Tzadokim (Saducees) in Jerusalem towards the end of Bayis Sheni to become
more ascetic in the Judaean wilderness. They camped there and got very into
purity and even celibacy- which is never a good way to guarantee the continuity
of your faith. The Christians made up that perhaps John the Baptist who
toiveled Yoshka was part of this group which is why he dipped him into the
Jordan not far from here. It’s all bubbeh maysehs. Not a particularly inspiring
site although it’s where the Dead Sea scrolls were found. So I don’t go there
often but it does make good driving converersation. So the score is now Schwartz
17.5 and 4.5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.
m...
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