from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
December 31st 2022 -Volume
12 Issue 11 6th of Tevet 5783
It’s New Years. People…goyim… use this opportunity
to make New Year’s resolutions. They don’t have Rosh Hashana and teshuva like
we do. They also don’t have that many mitzvos or aveiros or al
cheits like we do. They pretty much just gotta stay away from biting into
live animals and bowing down to idols. No big deal. We’ve got 613 commandments
and a whole smorgasbord of Rabbinic laws, minor sins, chumras, good
deeds and rituals to choose from. We have a whole month of Elul to work on
these things. The only thing we have in common with them is that our resolutions
generally last as long- sadly enough. By the time Chanuka rolls around we’re back
to whipping out our cellphones by davening and bentching by heart-not
out of a siddur. We’re speaking lashon hara again for those 15 minutes we
accepted upon ourselves for from 4:15- 4:30 each day and are reconnected to
Whatsapp and statuses. Hashem would be annoyed with us, but He arranged that
the goyim should be making their kabbalos at this time of year.
And when he sees their pathetic ones as compared with our highly motivated,
sincere and holy aspirations- He decides to take ours any day-even if we haven’t
kept them that well.
But for me this time of year is also my
birthday. Happy Birthday me! And birthdays are as well a time of reflection and
a period when we stop think about our lives, our mortality, our accomplishments-or
lack thereof and what type of person I want to be before I become another year
older. I’ve given you guys enough Mussar the past few weeks about moving to
Israel and staying in the Diaspora. It’s the time of year to beat up on myself
a bit. So here goes…
I came home last night after a long week of tour
guiding, Baruch Hashem, looking forward to finally seeing my wife and family-
abstinence makes the heart fonder they say. I highly recommend it. And boom
within a few minutes of being home, I was yelling and screaming. I was annoyed
and aggravated. It was a silly thing. Money issues always are. I needed to pay someone;
my wife pulled out money from our account to pay someone else. I was short, I
was scrambling. I was frustrated and upset. It was not a pretty picture. My dream
of just coming home and decompressing and enjoying the family and my wife went
out the window. It was just stupid. Or perhaps even more accurately it was just
me.
After I got most of the details worked out, I
was annoyed at myself. I’m a smart guy.
I’m pretty relaxed, fun, funny and even chilled. I remember when we were dating
my wife asked me on the third or fourth date if there’s anything that gets me
angry or upset ever. I seemed too chilled for her. I had to give it some
thought. It was a good question. Nothing really bothered me much in life as a
yeshiva bachur. A guy could sleep in my bed, make a mess of my room, eat my
food, could come late- I was chilled. I was free. I was easy going. After a few
minutes of deep contemplation, I told her that the one thing that I found in
life that bothered me was when I saw someone doing something that would turn
out really bad for themselves. Something that would just end poorly and would
have dire consequences. If he would just listen to me, everything would be fine
though. He would avoid all the grief, the downfall, the mess-up, the inevitable
fallout that I saw clearly happening. But they just wouldn’t listen. They just
ignored me. It could’ve all been rosy and perfect had they just listened. But
noooo… they thought they knew better. That bothered me. That got under my skin.
That would get me upset to no end.
She heard me at the time, but as I did, she didn’t
think it was such a big issue. Little did she know that it would pretty much affect
her for the rest of her and my children’s lives. That it was a daily occurrence
when people weren’t listening to me and doing what I thought they should be
doing. Aarrgghh… In yeshiva those things don’t come up that often. But in real
life, in the real world being married, raising children, working, making and
building a house, a community, reaching out to people, there are lots of things
that people don’t like to listen to me about. That think they know better than
me. And sucking up and biting my tongue has never been one of my strong character
traits. You can ask all of my teachers in school. We Schwartzes are all opinionated
and being the first born I got a double portion of that. It comes with being
the smartest…or at least in my mind. My sister disagrees, but I don’t listen to
her…
So after said crisis resolution above, I went
for a little walk for some breathing time. A little inhale and exhale if you
know what I mean. And I started to think about the parsha- my bar mitzva one
this week and what I would write about. For some reason the words of the parsha
and advice that Yosef gives his brothers before sending them back to his father
Yaakov popped into my mind. Al tirgezu ba’derech- don’t get aggravated
on the pathway home. Don’t get into all of the details and start fighting about
who’s fault it was. Don’t start pointing fingers over who was right or wrong. Don’t
start I-told-you-not-to-sell-him-down-to Egypting- one another. Chill. Just put
on Rabbi Schwartz music and enjoy the ride. Be happy that the saga is finally
over and just bring Dad down here to Egypt in one piece without throwing anyone
into any pits or selling them as slaves.
It’s an interesting word rogez. It can
mean aggravate, anger or fight. In Yiddish there is a word broigez- which
means be upset. “Whaddaya all broygez about”. “Don’t get so broygez at me!”
You hear that in yeshiva lingo a lot. It would seem that being broygez is
a bad thing. Don’t get aggravated. Yet, Rashi who brings down the interpretation
above that they shouldn’t fight with one another or be broygez, also brings
down two other pshatim before that. He writes
“Do not busy yourselves with Halachic
discussions lest you lose your way.
Another explanation is: Do not take very long
steps and enter the town where you will stay over night while the sun is still
shining.”
Seemingly Rashi is bothered by the notion that
if Yosef was just telling them not to fight, he should’ve just said al tariv-
don’t fight. As well the Gur Aryeh notes he didn’t have to qualify the statement
by specifying “on the road” they shouldn’t fight or argue. He should’ve told
them not to do it at all. Thus Rashi explains midrashically that Yosef was
telling them not to get aggravated in halachic matters-probably concerning his
sale- while they are on the road. Because the road is a place where aggravation
about anything can lead to danger. It’s one thing when you’re home, when you
can walk out for some fresh air. When you can breathe a little, so if you get
into an argument, there is a place to escape to and get out of the moment. But
when you’re cooped up in a car or a on a camel and travelling, there’s no where
to go. It can get messy. It can get dangerous.
Similarly, the second pshat in Rashi
about taking long steps, is as well dangerous. Long steps- or pesi’ah gasah
as it is brought in Rashi means moving fast. Moving arrogantly. Thinking you
know it all and shooting from the hip. On the road there is no time to think.
No time to really examine anything properly. You gotta keep moving. And if you are
stepping fast and strong and not slow, steady and humbly calculated, you’ll get
in trouble. You’ll end up in places that you don’t want to be. That you really
never wanted to get to.
At the same time the middah of aggravation
or being broygez Dovid Ha’Melech tells us is a positive character trait
that has its place as well. In fact, many say it every night before they go to
sleep in the bedtime prayer of Shema
“Rigzu V’al tech’e’ta’u imru al bi’livavchem
al mishkavchem ‘v’domu sela- Aggravate and you won’t come to sin. Say in
your hearts on your beds and be forever silent.
The great sage Reish Lakish derives from this
verse a way to combat the yetzer harah- the evil inclination
“A man should always aggravate his yetzer tov
against his yetzer hara as it says rigzu v’al techeteu
If one is successful good and if not study Torah
as it says say’ in one’s heart’, if
one is successful good if not then recite the shema as it says- ‘upon one’s
bed’. If one is successful good if not remember the day of death as it says
and’ be forever silent’.”
So now it gets hard to understand. Should I get
aggravated or not? Is it a good thing and a weapon against the yetzer hara
or not? And if the objective is just to get rid of the yetzer hara why
not just remember the death day. That you’d better do teshuva. There will be a
judgement day. Why start off with the fight?
The incredible answer and idea, that I heard from
my Rebbi, Reb Motti Alon, is that aggravating one’s yetzer tov on one’s yetzer
harah is only something to do when one is at rest. When one is on one’s bed
at night. See, what the yetzer ha’rah tries to do to us is catch us on
the fly. We have big plans. We want to change the world. We have great
resolutions we want to make. The yetzer ha’ra then comes and asks us one
question “Who do you think you are?”. What makes you think you can do this? Who are
you fooling? He puts us down. He gives us a reality check. He bums us out and
makes us feel small and crushes our big aspirations.
The answer to that is to build up the yetzer
tov and aggravate that yetzer harah with it. I’m a Tzadik. I’m
a genius. I’m a holy person. I have a yetzer tov. There’s nothing more upsetting
to the yetzer hara- or to me and you for that matter as well is when someone
acts self-righteous. But when it comes to battling the yetzer harah that
wants to engage with us in a fight about all of the bad things we’ve done and
the shameful things about ourselves. Don’t get into it with him ba’derech-
on the way. Just tell him, we’ll deal with that later. When I’m at rest. When I’m
in bed.
If that doesn’t work because you really are
feeling down about yourself, Reish Lakish tells us, then crack a book and learn
a little Torah. Recite Shema. Do a mitzva that’s easy. You’ve just become an
amazing person in that small act. You’ve just connected to Hashem. Boom. You’re
a Tzadik. Life is bright. Now you can do more and more and more. Just don’t fight
the dirty fight. Don’t get broigez on the road. You’re just on the path.
No one expects you to be at the final destination yet. And if those little
mitzvos don’t help you get there, then just tell yourself, you have a ways to
go until your yom ha’misah. You have a lifetime to grow. To accomplish.
To change. To make yourself and the world the person that you want to become.
Yosef tells his brothers on their way home, that
it will be natural for them to want to start reflecting on the mistakes that
they made. The Yetzer Hara will hit them up hard on the way home to Yaakov. He
will come with all types of Torahs about how bad they are, how mistaken they
were. He will bring halachic proofs, he will shame them, he will tell them about
how arrogant they were and the fast haughty steps that they took in selling him
down to Egypt. Don’t get into that, Yosef tells them. The road that you guys
are on right now is to reunite me with my father. It is to bring us here united
as a family. It is to reveal the light that we will need and find in ourselves
to shine through Egypt and prepare us for our galus. We are on the Derech.
It’s not a time for being broygez. There will be time for that later
when we are at rest. When we are together. When we have the Torah. When my
father will recite Shema with us, and we feel that the 12 tribes of Israel are
complete and holy. We have a lifetime to get there to that place when we will
reexamine this story and our sins. Our father Yaakov, will remind us before his
yom ha’misah to deal with it. You will come to me later when we are old
after that and we will talk and cry about it. But for now, we are still on the
pathway to get there. And never get broygez on the road.
So I have my lesson, and my Birthday Broygezoloution
for the year. It’s nice when the parsha kind of screams it at you from a vort
you just heard from your Rebbi. I need to stop getting broygez on the road.
I need to not get aggravated. I need to see that yetzer tov and the good in those
stressful situations and wait until it’s quieter and calmer.
I heard a story about how Reb Moredechai Eliyahu
was once giving a class about how one needs to be calm and peaceful with their
children and family always. Someone asked him in the class but is there ever a
time when you should get angry? Where it’s appropriate to get upset and aggravated
at your children? Yes, Reb Eliyahu, said the time to get upset and aggravated
over something that happened is when you’re calm and at peace with it. Al
Mishkavchem- When you’re lying down and feeling so calm that you just want
to doze off. That’s when you could show your children that you’re upset at them
over something that requires a response. That’s when you know you’re doing it
right.
So Happy Birthday, me. I’m 52 today. Someone
pointed out to me that 52 is the
gematria of Behema- a cow. As well it’s the gematria of ben- a
child. A cow just does what comes naturally to it. A son, has obligations, a son
comes from somewhere, a son can build a world. It is my hope that this year, I
become more of a son and less of a beheima. And perhaps in that merit
Hashem may make my 52nd year which is also the gematria of bakol-
with everything- a year that is blessed with everything!
Have a calming soothing Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
************************
YIDDISH PROVERB
OF THE WEEK
“Der ershter
broigez iz der bester broigez..”.- The first quarrel is the best quarrel..
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
4) The 2nd president of Israel was:
Which of the following people is buried in the Mount of Olives?
A) Menachem Begin
B) Moshe Sharett
C) Golda Meir
D) Levi Eshkol
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S
ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Forests and Bears- 706 BC –
From Yericho Elisha returns along the path that he travelled with
Eliyahu. He heads up to the city of Beit El where he had previously
met the students of the prophets who had told him that Eliyahu would be
dying. This time though he bumps into a group of young boys that start taunting
him; 42 to precise. According to one Midrash these were boys that would make
money bringing fresh water to the city of Yericho as the water there was
toxic. Once Elisha purified it they were out of business and thus they taunted
him. Others suggest that they were kids that were children of the followers of
the Baal who had been killed. And yet another peshat is that they were children
that were conceived on Yom Kippur. Regardless they were children that our sages
tell us were beyond hope. Or not?
Their taunt to Elisha
was the he was bald. Which is quite offensive as we hairless ones know. But
others say that it is in contrast to Eliyahu who was quite hairy. Their
taunt was that he was not as great as his Rebbi. Others suggest that they
cursed Elisha with the name of Hashem Elisha turned that back on them
and two bears came out of the forest and ate them all up. This was miraculous.
How miraculous? According to Rav there were no bears in that area at the time
and they miraculously appeared. According to Shmuel there wasn’t even a forest
there. Or in the words of the Talmud- Lo Dubim V’lo Ya’ar- No bears and
no forests which became popular slang in Hebrew today fascinatingly enough for
when one wants to say it’s a bubbeh mayseh.
The Re’ma M’Pano and the Shel”a
Ha’Kadosh teach us something fascinating they note that our sages say that this
reaction of Elisha was a bit too much. He was later punished with
sickness over this. And ultimately, he was reincarnated as Rebbi Yosi Min Yokras-
who’s buried along side of the road from Tzfat to Meron and was a fourth
generation Amora. Rebbi Yosi Min Yokras ended up cursing both of his own
children and they were killed. His son because he asked Hashem to make a fig
tree grow early and his daughter because she was too beautiful and was attracting
too much attention. This was the fate of Elisha who had other children
killed that came back to haunt himself.
The number 42 is also not coincidental.
It stands for Bam in Gematria which representative of Torah V’Dibarta Bam,
as we say in Shema. It is a rough story and it sets the tone for Elisha and his
miracles and zealotry that he received from his Rebbi Eliyahu. From
there he heads up to Mt. Carmel where he studied with Eliyahu. We’ll
talk about that next week.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE
AGGRAVATED JOKES OF THE WEEK
While on a
road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After
finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When
leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she
didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then,
to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they
could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to
retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic
grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly
during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he
became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they
finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried
inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,
"While
you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!!!"
Shloimy
asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and
frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When
the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Yankel, please?"
"No, there's no one called Yankel
here," says the
person who answered the phone.
His father
hangs up. "That's irritation," he says.
He picks
up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Yankel a second
time. "No, there's no one here named Yankel. Stop calling!"
the person says.
His father
hangs up and says, "That's aggravation."
"Then
what's frustration?" asks Shloiny The father picks up the phone and
dials the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Yankel,"
he says casually, "Have I received any phone calls?"
A String
Walks Into A Bar, He says, "hey bar keep, I'll have a beer".
The
bartenders sternly replies, "we don't serve strings here".
The string
walks away discouraged.He comes in a few days later and tries again,
"hey bar keep, I'll take a rye".
The
bartender, more aggravated replies, "I told you, we don't serve strings
here!"
The string
leaves disappointed. The string figures he will try again a few days later. He
walks up to the door of the bar and thinks for a second....This time he ties
himself in a loop and messes up his hair. He walks up to the bar and says, "hello
bar keep, I'll have a rum and coke".
The bartender
replies, "hey, aren't you a string?"
The string
replies, "no, I'm afraid not"
What is
nice if you are close to it but gets irritating when far away? Someone holding
the door for you
Two guys
are out hunting deer.The first guy says "Did you see that?"
“No"
the second guy says.
“Well,
a bald eagle just flew overhead.”
“Oh.
A couple
of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"
“See
what?"
“Are you
blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.”
“Oh".
A few
minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now,
the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says "Yes, I did!"
“Then why
did you step in it?"
I asked
my wife what three things she finds most irritating. She said, "well, I
really dislike Sunday drivers. I'm not particularly keen on loud, abnoixious
children. But mostly, I really hate it when I have to repeat myself!"
"Oh,
yeah, absolutely!" I replied, "You can
say that again."
You guys hear about the pepper shaker
that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested
and charged with aggravated as-*salt*
Someone told me today is "slap your
irritating coworker day" but I don't think that's right
"Get slapped by your co-workers
day" would be more accurate.
Bill and
Tom went to the country club for a round of golf. Bill takes his practice
swings and checks the wind then takes his swings again. After about 10 minutes
of taking practice swings and checking the wind Tom starts getting aggravated
and yells.
“FOR
THE LOVE OF GOD BILL TAKE YOUR SWING ALREADY!”.
Bill turns
to look at Tom and says.
“I’m
sorry Tom it’s just that my wife is up at the club watching and I want to make
sure this swing is perfect.”
Tom looks
at his buddy then looks up towards the club and sighs.
“Man
you can forget it this is a 350 yard shot, you’ll never hit her from here.”
A doctor
and a lawyer are at a party...People at the party keep coming up to the doctor
and asking him for medical advice. The doctor gets aggravated that he cannot
enjoy the party because of the constant medical questions. He notices that his
lawyer friend is sitting peacefully in a corner and hasn't been disturbed all
night.
The doctor
walks over to the lawyer and asks him how he is able to go to parties without
being bombarded with legal questions. The lawyer replies, "anytime
someone asks me for legal advice I send them a bill in the mail." The
doctor is ecstatic and decides he is going to do the same. When he gets home he
writes out bills for everyone who had asked his advice that night.
The next
day the doctor can barely contain his excitement as he walks down the street to
deliver the bills. When he opens his mailbox, he is surprised that he's gotten
a letter from his lawyer friend. When he opened the envelope he realized the
lawyer had sent him a bill for the previous nights legal advice.
In a
courtroom one morning, Barry the Basher was being faced with multiple charges
of aggravated battery. He had a reputation of assaulting his victims with a
baseball bat. However, the opposing legal team discovered that all of their
evidence was either lost or destroyed and were not able to tie him to any of
the charges.
Due to the
lack of evidence, Barry was deemed innocent and set free. When later asked what
happened, Barry said, "The batteries were not included in the
case."
Two old
farmers have each 1 big meadow and only 1 sheep each. One farmer proposes to
remove the fence between their meadows because the sheep are both lonely. The
second farmer agrees, however he wonders how they could tell which sheep
belongs to whom. The first farmer comes up with the idea to cut off 1 leg of
his sheep, so the 3 legged-sheep is always gonna be his, and the 4-legged
belongs to the second farmer. At nightfall they come to an agreement.
The next
morning the 4-legged sheep wakes the 3-legged sheep up." Hey Buddy, Hey
Buddy !!" he says enthusiastically " We are finally together!
Wanna go racing ?!"
"Sure
buddy, but it's not gonna be a fair race, you have 4 legs and I only have
3"
"Hmm,
let me think... What if I bite of my leg, then we are even and can race all
day."
"
Good idea, lets race!"
So the
4-legged sheep bites off a leg and also becomes a 3-legged sheep, they race all
day and have a lot of fun.
At dusk
the two farmers stroll around their meadows and to their surprise they find
their sheep both with 3 legs. "Sigh, let me just cut off another leg so
I have the 2-legged sheep and you have the 3-legged" says the first
farmer. The second farmer agrees, and they head back to their farms.
The next
morning the 3-legged sheep wakes the 2 legged sheep up.
" Hey
Buddy, Hey Buddy !!"
he says enthusiastically " Wanna go racing again?!"
"Sure
buddy, but it's not gonna be a fair race, you have 3 legs and I only have
2."
"Guess,
I'll have to bite off another leg, so we can race all day."
"Good
idea, lets go race all day again."
The
3-legged sheep bites off another leg, both are now 2-legged sheep and race all
day and have a hell of a lot of fun. Again around dusk the two farmer stroll
around their meadows and AGAIN to their suprise they find their sheep both with
2 legs. A bit aggravated the first farmer cuts of both legs, and claims the
legless sheep. The second farmer agrees again and they head back to their
farms. The next morning the 2-legged sheep wakes the legless sheep up.
" Hey
Buddy, Hey Buddy !!" he says enthusiastically " Wanna go
racing again?!"
"I'd
love to but I don't have anymore legs, I don't think I can race ever
again."
"Nonsense"
the 2-legged sheep says " I'll just bite off my 2 remaining legs, so we
are both legless sheep, we can race around all day like caterpillars"
"Okay
buddy, great idea, sounds like fun"
The
2-legged sheep bites off both his legs and they race all day like caterpillars,
and boy do they have alot of fun again.Again at dusk, the farmers take their
daily evening stroll, to their surprise they find both their sheep legless.
Desperately, they try to come up with idea's on how to tell which sheep belongs
to whom.
Untill the
first farmer says : " Look, let me just take the Black sheep, you can
have the white one
********************************
Answer is A -Yeah I knew this one.
Yitzchak Ben Tzvi was the longest President of Israel and it’s second one. He
was actually raised frum and went to cheder until he became a Zionist and lost
it. But he was fundamental in the early founding of the State in all of military units as well as the settlements. The
only prime minister on Mt. of Olives is of course Menachem Begin who didn’t
like all the liberals like Ben Tzvi in the great men of the nation plot on Mt.
Herzl and instead said he wants to be buried with the real Gedoley Ha’Umah, two
soldiers Barzani and Feinstien who blew themselves up in the British Prison in
Jerusalem rather than giving the British the pleasure of executing them. So getting
better at this my score is now Schwartz 3.5 and 0.5 for MOT (Ministry of
Tourism) on this exam.
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