Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Birthday Broigez- Parshat Vayigash 5783- 2022

 Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

December 31st 2022 -Volume 12 Issue 11 6th of Tevet 5783


Birthday Broigez

 

It’s New Years. People…goyim… use this opportunity to make New Year’s resolutions. They don’t have Rosh Hashana and teshuva like we do. They also don’t have that many mitzvos or aveiros or al cheits like we do. They pretty much just gotta stay away from biting into live animals and bowing down to idols. No big deal. We’ve got 613 commandments and a whole smorgasbord of Rabbinic laws, minor sins, chumras, good deeds and rituals to choose from. We have a whole month of Elul to work on these things. The only thing we have in common with them is that our resolutions generally last as long- sadly enough. By the time Chanuka rolls around we’re back to whipping out our cellphones by davening and bentching by heart-not out of a siddur. We’re speaking lashon hara again for those 15 minutes we accepted upon ourselves for from 4:15- 4:30 each day and are reconnected to Whatsapp and statuses. Hashem would be annoyed with us, but He arranged that the goyim should be making their kabbalos at this time of year. And when he sees their pathetic ones as compared with our highly motivated, sincere and holy aspirations- He decides to take ours any day-even if we haven’t kept them that well.

 

But for me this time of year is also my birthday. Happy Birthday me! And birthdays are as well a time of reflection and a period when we stop think about our lives, our mortality, our accomplishments-or lack thereof and what type of person I want to be before I become another year older. I’ve given you guys enough Mussar the past few weeks about moving to Israel and staying in the Diaspora. It’s the time of year to beat up on myself a bit. So here goes…

 

I came home last night after a long week of tour guiding, Baruch Hashem, looking forward to finally seeing my wife and family- abstinence makes the heart fonder they say. I highly recommend it. And boom within a few minutes of being home, I was yelling and screaming. I was annoyed and aggravated. It was a silly thing. Money issues always are. I needed to pay someone; my wife pulled out money from our account to pay someone else. I was short, I was scrambling. I was frustrated and upset. It was not a pretty picture. My dream of just coming home and decompressing and enjoying the family and my wife went out the window. It was just stupid. Or perhaps even more accurately it was just me.

 

After I got most of the details worked out, I was annoyed at myself.  I’m a smart guy. I’m pretty relaxed, fun, funny and even chilled. I remember when we were dating my wife asked me on the third or fourth date if there’s anything that gets me angry or upset ever. I seemed too chilled for her. I had to give it some thought. It was a good question. Nothing really bothered me much in life as a yeshiva bachur. A guy could sleep in my bed, make a mess of my room, eat my food, could come late- I was chilled. I was free. I was easy going. After a few minutes of deep contemplation, I told her that the one thing that I found in life that bothered me was when I saw someone doing something that would turn out really bad for themselves. Something that would just end poorly and would have dire consequences. If he would just listen to me, everything would be fine though. He would avoid all the grief, the downfall, the mess-up, the inevitable fallout that I saw clearly happening. But they just wouldn’t listen. They just ignored me. It could’ve all been rosy and perfect had they just listened. But noooo… they thought they knew better. That bothered me. That got under my skin. That would get me upset to no end.

 

She heard me at the time, but as I did, she didn’t think it was such a big issue. Little did she know that it would pretty much affect her for the rest of her and my children’s lives. That it was a daily occurrence when people weren’t listening to me and doing what I thought they should be doing. Aarrgghh… In yeshiva those things don’t come up that often. But in real life, in the real world being married, raising children, working, making and building a house, a community, reaching out to people, there are lots of things that people don’t like to listen to me about. That think they know better than me. And sucking up and biting my tongue has never been one of my strong character traits. You can ask all of my teachers in school. We Schwartzes are all opinionated and being the first born I got a double portion of that. It comes with being the smartest…or at least in my mind. My sister disagrees, but I don’t listen to her…

 

So after said crisis resolution above, I went for a little walk for some breathing time. A little inhale and exhale if you know what I mean. And I started to think about the parsha- my bar mitzva one this week and what I would write about. For some reason the words of the parsha and advice that Yosef gives his brothers before sending them back to his father Yaakov popped into my mind. Al tirgezu ba’derech- don’t get aggravated on the pathway home. Don’t get into all of the details and start fighting about who’s fault it was. Don’t start pointing fingers over who was right or wrong. Don’t start I-told-you-not-to-sell-him-down-to Egypting- one another. Chill. Just put on Rabbi Schwartz music and enjoy the ride. Be happy that the saga is finally over and just bring Dad down here to Egypt in one piece without throwing anyone into any pits or selling them as slaves.

 

It’s an interesting word rogez. It can mean aggravate, anger or fight. In Yiddish there is a word broigez- which means be upset. “Whaddaya all broygez about”. “Don’t get so broygez at me!” You hear that in yeshiva lingo a lot. It would seem that being broygez is a bad thing. Don’t get aggravated. Yet, Rashi who brings down the interpretation above that they shouldn’t fight with one another or be broygez, also brings down two other pshatim before that. He writes

 

Do not busy yourselves with Halachic discussions lest you lose your way.

Another explanation is: Do not take very long steps and enter the town where you will stay over night while the sun is still shining.”

 

Seemingly Rashi is bothered by the notion that if Yosef was just telling them not to fight, he should’ve just said al tariv- don’t fight. As well the Gur Aryeh notes he didn’t have to qualify the statement by specifying “on the road” they shouldn’t fight or argue. He should’ve told them not to do it at all. Thus Rashi explains midrashically that Yosef was telling them not to get aggravated in halachic matters-probably concerning his sale- while they are on the road. Because the road is a place where aggravation about anything can lead to danger. It’s one thing when you’re home, when you can walk out for some fresh air. When you can breathe a little, so if you get into an argument, there is a place to escape to and get out of the moment. But when you’re cooped up in a car or a on a camel and travelling, there’s no where to go. It can get messy. It can get dangerous.

 

Similarly, the second pshat in Rashi about taking long steps, is as well dangerous. Long steps- or pesi’ah gasah as it is brought in Rashi means moving fast. Moving arrogantly. Thinking you know it all and shooting from the hip. On the road there is no time to think. No time to really examine anything properly. You gotta keep moving. And if you are stepping fast and strong and not slow, steady and humbly calculated, you’ll get in trouble. You’ll end up in places that you don’t want to be. That you really never wanted to get to.

 

At the same time the middah of aggravation or being broygez Dovid Ha’Melech tells us is a positive character trait that has its place as well. In fact, many say it every night before they go to sleep in the bedtime prayer of Shema

 

Rigzu V’al tech’e’ta’u imru al bi’livavchem al mishkavchem ‘v’domu sela- Aggravate and you won’t come to sin. Say in your hearts on your beds and be forever silent.

 

The great sage Reish Lakish derives from this verse a way to combat the yetzer harah- the evil inclination

 

A man should always aggravate his yetzer tov against his yetzer hara as it says rigzu v’al techeteu

If one is successful good and if not study Torah as it says say’ in one’s heart’, if one is successful good if not then recite the shema as it says- ‘upon one’s bed’. If one is successful good if not remember the day of death as it says and’ be forever silent’.”

 

So now it gets hard to understand. Should I get aggravated or not? Is it a good thing and a weapon against the yetzer hara or not? And if the objective is just to get rid of the yetzer hara why not just remember the death day. That you’d better do teshuva. There will be a judgement day. Why start off with the fight?

 

The incredible answer and idea, that I heard from my Rebbi, Reb Motti Alon, is that aggravating one’s yetzer tov on one’s yetzer harah is only something to do when one is at rest. When one is on one’s bed at night. See, what the yetzer ha’rah tries to do to us is catch us on the fly. We have big plans. We want to change the world. We have great resolutions we want to make. The yetzer ha’ra then comes and asks us one question “Who do you think you are?”.  What makes you think you can do this? Who are you fooling? He puts us down. He gives us a reality check. He bums us out and makes us feel small and crushes our big aspirations.

 

The answer to that is to build up the yetzer tov and aggravate that yetzer harah with it. I’m a Tzadik. I’m a genius. I’m a holy person. I have a yetzer tov. There’s nothing more upsetting to the yetzer hara- or to me and you for that matter as well is when someone acts self-righteous. But when it comes to battling the yetzer harah that wants to engage with us in a fight about all of the bad things we’ve done and the shameful things about ourselves. Don’t get into it with him ba’derech- on the way. Just tell him, we’ll deal with that later. When I’m at rest. When I’m in bed.

 

If that doesn’t work because you really are feeling down about yourself, Reish Lakish tells us, then crack a book and learn a little Torah. Recite Shema. Do a mitzva that’s easy. You’ve just become an amazing person in that small act. You’ve just connected to Hashem. Boom. You’re a Tzadik. Life is bright. Now you can do more and more and more. Just don’t fight the dirty fight. Don’t get broigez on the road. You’re just on the path. No one expects you to be at the final destination yet. And if those little mitzvos don’t help you get there, then just tell yourself, you have a ways to go until your yom ha’misah. You have a lifetime to grow. To accomplish. To change. To make yourself and the world the person that you want to become.

 

Yosef tells his brothers on their way home, that it will be natural for them to want to start reflecting on the mistakes that they made. The Yetzer Hara will hit them up hard on the way home to Yaakov. He will come with all types of Torahs about how bad they are, how mistaken they were. He will bring halachic proofs, he will shame them, he will tell them about how arrogant they were and the fast haughty steps that they took in selling him down to Egypt. Don’t get into that, Yosef tells them. The road that you guys are on right now is to reunite me with my father. It is to bring us here united as a family. It is to reveal the light that we will need and find in ourselves to shine through Egypt and prepare us for our galus. We are on the Derech. It’s not a time for being broygez. There will be time for that later when we are at rest. When we are together. When we have the Torah. When my father will recite Shema with us, and we feel that the 12 tribes of Israel are complete and holy. We have a lifetime to get there to that place when we will reexamine this story and our sins. Our father Yaakov, will remind us before his yom ha’misah to deal with it. You will come to me later when we are old after that and we will talk and cry about it. But for now, we are still on the pathway to get there. And never get broygez on the road.

 

So I have my lesson, and my Birthday Broygezoloution for the year. It’s nice when the parsha kind of screams it at you from a vort you just heard from your Rebbi. I need to stop getting broygez on the road. I need to not get aggravated. I need to see that yetzer tov and the good in those stressful situations and wait until it’s quieter and calmer.

 

I heard a story about how Reb Moredechai Eliyahu was once giving a class about how one needs to be calm and peaceful with their children and family always. Someone asked him in the class but is there ever a time when you should get angry? Where it’s appropriate to get upset and aggravated at your children? Yes, Reb Eliyahu, said the time to get upset and aggravated over something that happened is when you’re calm and at peace with it. Al Mishkavchem- When you’re lying down and feeling so calm that you just want to doze off. That’s when you could show your children that you’re upset at them over something that requires a response. That’s when you know you’re doing it right.

 

So Happy Birthday, me. I’m 52 today. Someone pointed out to me  that 52 is the gematria of Behema- a cow. As well it’s the gematria of ben- a child. A cow just does what comes naturally to it. A son, has obligations, a son comes from somewhere, a son can build a world. It is my hope that this year, I become more of a son and less of a beheima. And perhaps in that merit Hashem may make my 52nd year which is also the gematria of bakol- with everything- a year that is blessed with everything!


Have a calming soothing Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“Der ershter broigez iz der bester broigez..”.- The first quarrel is the best quarrel..

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

4) The 2nd president of Israel was:

Which of the following people is buried in the Mount of Olives?

A) Menachem Begin

B) Moshe Sharett

C) Golda Meir

D) Levi Eshkol

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Forests and Bears- 706 BC – From Yericho Elisha returns along the path that he travelled with Eliyahu. He heads up to the city of Beit El where he had previously met the students of the prophets who had told him that Eliyahu would be dying. This time though he bumps into a group of young boys that start taunting him; 42 to precise. According to one Midrash these were boys that would make money bringing fresh water to the city of Yericho as the water there was toxic. Once Elisha purified it they were out of business and thus they taunted him. Others suggest that they were kids that were children of the followers of the Baal who had been killed. And yet another peshat is that they were children that were conceived on Yom Kippur. Regardless they were children that our sages tell us were beyond hope. Or not?

 

Their taunt to Elisha was the he was bald. Which is quite offensive as we hairless ones know. But others say that it is in contrast to Eliyahu who was quite hairy. Their taunt was that he was not as great as his Rebbi. Others suggest that they cursed Elisha with the name of Hashem Elisha turned that back on them and two bears came out of the forest and ate them all up. This was miraculous. How miraculous? According to Rav there were no bears in that area at the time and they miraculously appeared. According to Shmuel there wasn’t even a forest there. Or in the words of the Talmud- Lo Dubim V’lo Ya’ar- No bears and no forests which became popular slang in Hebrew today fascinatingly enough for when one wants to say it’s a bubbeh mayseh.

 

The Re’ma M’Pano and the Shel”a Ha’Kadosh teach us something fascinating they note that our sages say that this reaction of Elisha was a bit too much. He was later punished with sickness over this. And ultimately, he was reincarnated as Rebbi Yosi Min Yokras- who’s buried along side of the road from Tzfat to Meron and was a fourth generation Amora. Rebbi Yosi Min Yokras ended up cursing both of his own children and they were killed. His son because he asked Hashem to make a fig tree grow early and his daughter because she was too beautiful and was attracting too much attention. This was the fate of Elisha who had other children killed that came back to haunt himself.

 

The number 42 is also not coincidental. It stands for Bam in Gematria which representative of Torah V’Dibarta Bam, as we say in Shema. It is a rough story and it sets the tone for Elisha and his miracles and zealotry that he received from his Rebbi Eliyahu. From there he heads up to Mt. Carmel where he studied with Eliyahu. We’ll talk about that next week.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE AGGRAVATED  JOKES OF THE WEEK

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!!!"

 

Shloimy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Yankel, please?"

 "No, there's no one called Yankel here," says the person who answered the phone.

His father hangs up. "That's irritation," he says.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Yankel a second time. "No, there's no one here named Yankel. Stop calling!" the person says.

His father hangs up and says, "That's aggravation."

"Then what's frustration?" asks Shloiny The father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Yankel," he says casually, "Have I received any phone calls?"

 

A String Walks Into A Bar, He says, "hey bar keep, I'll have a beer".

The bartenders sternly replies, "we don't serve strings here".

The string walks away discouraged.He comes in a few days later and tries again, "hey bar keep, I'll take a rye".

The bartender, more aggravated replies, "I told you, we don't serve strings here!"

 The string leaves disappointed. The string figures he will try again a few days later. He walks up to the door of the bar and thinks for a second....This time he ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair. He walks up to the bar and says, "hello bar keep, I'll have a rum and coke".

 The bartender replies, "hey, aren't you a string?"

 The string replies, "no, I'm afraid not"

 

What is nice if you are close to it but gets irritating when far away? Someone holding the door for you

 

Two guys are out hunting deer.The first guy says "Did you see that?"

No" the second guy says.

Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.”

“Oh.

A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"

“See what?"

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.”

“Oh".

A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"

By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says "Yes, I did!"

“Then why did you step in it?"

 

I asked my wife what three things she finds most irritating. She said, "well, I really dislike Sunday drivers. I'm not particularly keen on loud, abnoixious children. But mostly, I really hate it when I have to repeat myself!"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely!" I replied, "You can say that again."

You guys hear about the pepper shaker that was attacked by the salt shaker? Apparently the salt shaker was arrested and charged with aggravated as-*salt*

 

Someone told me today is "slap your irritating coworker day" but I don't think that's right

"Get slapped by your co-workers day" would be more accurate.

 

Bill and Tom went to the country club for a round of golf. Bill takes his practice swings and checks the wind then takes his swings again. After about 10 minutes of taking practice swings and checking the wind Tom starts getting aggravated and yells.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BILL TAKE YOUR SWING ALREADY!”.

Bill turns to look at Tom and says.

I’m sorry Tom it’s just that my wife is up at the club watching and I want to make sure this swing is perfect.”

Tom looks at his buddy then looks up towards the club and sighs.

Man you can forget it this is a 350 yard shot, you’ll never hit her from here.”

 

A doctor and a lawyer are at a party...People at the party keep coming up to the doctor and asking him for medical advice. The doctor gets aggravated that he cannot enjoy the party because of the constant medical questions. He notices that his lawyer friend is sitting peacefully in a corner and hasn't been disturbed all night.

The doctor walks over to the lawyer and asks him how he is able to go to parties without being bombarded with legal questions. The lawyer replies, "anytime someone asks me for legal advice I send them a bill in the mail." The doctor is ecstatic and decides he is going to do the same. When he gets home he writes out bills for everyone who had asked his advice that night.

The next day the doctor can barely contain his excitement as he walks down the street to deliver the bills. When he opens his mailbox, he is surprised that he's gotten a letter from his lawyer friend. When he opened the envelope he realized the lawyer had sent him a bill for the previous nights legal advice.

 

In a courtroom one morning, Barry the Basher was being faced with multiple charges of aggravated battery. He had a reputation of assaulting his victims with a baseball bat. However, the opposing legal team discovered that all of their evidence was either lost or destroyed and were not able to tie him to any of the charges.

Due to the lack of evidence, Barry was deemed innocent and set free. When later asked what happened, Barry said, "The batteries were not included in the case."

 

Two old farmers have each 1 big meadow and only 1 sheep each. One farmer proposes to remove the fence between their meadows because the sheep are both lonely. The second farmer agrees, however he wonders how they could tell which sheep belongs to whom. The first farmer comes up with the idea to cut off 1 leg of his sheep, so the 3 legged-sheep is always gonna be his, and the 4-legged belongs to the second farmer. At nightfall they come to an agreement.

 

The next morning the 4-legged sheep wakes the 3-legged sheep up." Hey Buddy, Hey Buddy !!" he says enthusiastically " We are finally together! Wanna go racing ?!"

 

"Sure buddy, but it's not gonna be a fair race, you have 4 legs and I only have 3"

"Hmm, let me think... What if I bite of my leg, then we are even and can race all day."

" Good idea, lets race!"

 

So the 4-legged sheep bites off a leg and also becomes a 3-legged sheep, they race all day and have a lot of fun.

 

At dusk the two farmers stroll around their meadows and to their surprise they find their sheep both with 3 legs. "Sigh, let me just cut off another leg so I have the 2-legged sheep and you have the 3-legged" says the first farmer. The second farmer agrees, and they head back to their farms.

 

The next morning the 3-legged sheep wakes the 2 legged sheep up.

" Hey Buddy, Hey Buddy !!" he says enthusiastically " Wanna go racing again?!"

"Sure buddy, but it's not gonna be a fair race, you have 3 legs and I only have 2."

"Guess, I'll have to bite off another leg, so we can race all day."

"Good idea, lets go race all day again."

The 3-legged sheep bites off another leg, both are now 2-legged sheep and race all day and have a hell of a lot of fun. Again around dusk the two farmer stroll around their meadows and AGAIN to their suprise they find their sheep both with 2 legs. A bit aggravated the first farmer cuts of both legs, and claims the legless sheep. The second farmer agrees again and they head back to their farms. The next morning the 2-legged sheep wakes the legless sheep up.

" Hey Buddy, Hey Buddy !!" he says enthusiastically " Wanna go racing again?!"

"I'd love to but I don't have anymore legs, I don't think I can race ever again."

"Nonsense" the 2-legged sheep says " I'll just bite off my 2 remaining legs, so we are both legless sheep, we can race around all day like caterpillars"

"Okay buddy, great idea, sounds like fun"

The 2-legged sheep bites off both his legs and they race all day like caterpillars, and boy do they have alot of fun again.Again at dusk, the farmers take their daily evening stroll, to their surprise they find both their sheep legless. Desperately, they try to come up with idea's on how to tell which sheep belongs to whom.

Untill the first farmer says : " Look, let me just take the Black sheep, you can have the white one

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Answer is A -Yeah I knew this one. Yitzchak Ben Tzvi was the longest President of Israel and it’s second one. He was actually raised frum and went to cheder until he became a Zionist and lost it. But he was fundamental in the early founding of the State in all of  military units as well as the settlements. The only prime minister on Mt. of Olives is of course Menachem Begin who didn’t like all the liberals like Ben Tzvi in the great men of the nation plot on Mt. Herzl and instead said he wants to be buried with the real Gedoley Ha’Umah, two soldiers Barzani and Feinstien who blew themselves up in the British Prison in Jerusalem rather than giving the British the pleasure of executing them. So getting better at this my score is now Schwartz 3.5 and 0.5 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam.

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