Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, January 27, 2023

Hashem's Hungry Holy Dawgs- Parshat Bo 2023 5783

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

January 27th 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 15 5th of Shevat 5783

 

Parshat Va’eira

Hashem’s Hungry Holy Dawgs

 

It was an amazing Jeep ride through Midbar Yehuda with Yossi. The views were amazing, the air was spectacular, and the ride was awesome. And then we saw them up ahead of us. Actually, we heard them before we saw them. There were a few young Bedouin boys. They probably weren’t more than 10 years old. They were watching over and grazing their herd of what looked like about 100 or so sheep and goats. It wasn’t the sheep or goats though that we heard. It wasn’t the Bedouin boys either. Rather it was these fierce looking German Shepherd dogs that came charging at our Jeep with white foam dripping out of the side of their mouths, like Cujo (for any of you that get that Stephen King reference). They were barking and growling and howling and those really sweet Boro Park Bais Yaakov girls started to scream and freak out, while quickly whipping out their Tehillim and muttering words and prayers to Hashem to save them.

 

Yossi our driver though, was pretty chilled. He laughed at them. He told them that they have nothing to worry about. See, dogs are just like the Arabs over here. They make a lot of noise and sound kind of scary, but in truth they are really pachdanim- Scaredy cats- or dogs to be more precise.

 

Here,” he said, “I’ll show you something. The second that I stop my jeep and get out they will walk away. They will be quiet. Not only won’t they touch me, but they will meekly put their tails between their legs and walk back to their masters.” And then he pulled over and stopped his jeep.

 

No, No, No” the girls screamed like Pharaoh in Mitzrayim.

We believe you” they said unconvincingly.

 You don’t have to show us” they said, still muttering even more furiously the words from this week’s parsha of ‘U’lkol bnai Yisrael lo yechratz kelev l’shono- that when we left Egypt, the Torah tells us that no dog barked, that is meant to be a good phrase to recite to ward off bad dogs.

 

But Yossi was already getting out of his jeep. They closed their eyes. I did too, but I peeked about between my fingers. And then there was quiet. It was wild! The dogs just turned around and walked away. They didn’t want to mess with Yossi, and I don’t blame them. Yossi is one of those guys that when he sees the big red signs over Area A in Israel that warn Israeli citizens from entering as it is illegal and against the law and ‘may be dangerous to your lives’ He reads that as saying Beruchim Ha’Ba’im Yossi’. So when he offered us to get out of the jeep and try it by the next pack of dogs the girls and I both politely declined. We’re not Yossi.

 

He told us that we have really nothing to be afraid of. Not from the dogs and not even from their owners. He said that both are quite similar. They make a lot of noise and their only really power is to create fear. But the second that you show them that you’re not afraid of them, that they don’t intimidate you at all, they have nothing left. They’ll just walk away. They’ll grumble perhaps. They’ll mutter under their breath. But they’re all just dogs who bark but very rarely will bite and certainly not attack you. That’s not what they do. We have nothing to fear from either of them.

 

Yossi’s lesson was a cool one and one that I keep in mind and share with my tourists often. It’s one that I have heard from many Israeli soldiers that as well, they keep in mind in their training as they patrol in different Arab areas. Never show fear. The Arabs respect that and will keep in line as soon as you can block out all that noisy barking. If you stand tall and proud and are not intimidated, they will fall in line. They will walk away. They will rarely bite.

 

Yossi’s dog lesson though is not just his lesson. In fact, the Torah tells us in this week’s parsha it’s the first and perhaps one of the most critical lessons that we received as a nation at its most significant moment. It is the lesson of who we are, what we could be and how we will be redeemed. It is the lesson of the dogs.

 

See, as we left Egypt and that final night of the death of the First Borns, the Torah tells us in that verse those girls were reciting, that the dogs did not bark. There we were fressing away on our Pesach BBQ offerings while they were being killed. The angel of death was hovering around and the dogs whose natural tendency is to bark and howl were silent. The Chasam Sofer say the reason they didn’t bark was because in fact it wasn’t the Angel of Death doing his work that night, rather it was Hashem in all His glory, and they were thus silent to show that. Therefore Reb Yonasan Eibeishutz adds, that Moshe Rabbeinu had to tell Pharaoh that the plague was coming “Ka’Chatzos- around midnight rather than at precisely midnight, because there were no dogs barking, despite the fact that it is the normal time each night when our sages tell us the dogs bark.

 

As well, the Chasam Sofer told his son the Ksav Sofer that the reason in fact why we have the bizarre custom to steal the Afikoman on Pesach night is because generally when there are thieves at night the dogs bark at them, yet on Pesach night when the Jews went into the homes of the Egyptians and took all of their stuff as Hashem commanded us to do, there was no barking dogs. The thieves came out of the woodwork. So, we remember that night of thieves unfettered by barking dogs by stealing the afikoman. Cool!

 

Yet, our connection to the lesson of the dogs and our relationship with them is much deeper. For the Talmud tells us that in many ways the Jewish people are compared to dogs. The Talmud tells us that that there are three that have chutzpa. Amongst nations it’s us, in animals it’s dogs, and amongst birds it’s a chicken. In fact, before Mashiach comes we are told that there are two signs that he is on the way. One is that there will be a lot of chutzpa and brazenness in the world. And the second is that the “face of the generation” will look like the face of a dog. It gives new meaning to the concept of a dog-eat-dog world, that we are living in.

 

 The Klei Yakar takes it a step further and notes that Hashem tells Moshe to tell Pharaoh to let us go he tells him to announce- Ki Li V’nai Yisrael- Bnai Yisrael is mine. The first three letters of each of those words if you noticed spell- Ke’LV or if you really want to be cute and add in the yud of Yisrael then we would be Kalvi- My dog. Yup, we’re Hashem’s dogs- not Pharaoh’s. One of the early Rishonim called the Sefer Ha’Kushyos even notes that Hashem calls us His children; Banim-His sons. And believe it or not, the numerical Gematria of the word Banim is the same as Kelavim- dogs. What does this all mean? Are we really dogs?

 

Did you ever wonder why dogs bark so much and make so much noise? The Ralbag explains it’s because dogs are always hungry. They are the symbol of unfettered desire. The navi Yeshaya tells us

 

(Yeshaya 56:11)“And dogs are brazen, they never know how to be satisfied

 

Thus, they will eat and eat until they vomit and eat again and again. They don’t trust their own fellow dogs and will bark when anyone gets near their food or even comes into their house. They’re scared that they will take away their food. The Talmud tells us that the bark of the dog are the words “Hav Hav- give more and more”. They love dem bones because they can just keep eating and gnawing at them again and again. At the same time, it is also the reason why dogs are the most loyal of all creatures. It knows who fills his doggy dish every morning and will protect its master because he is his food ticket. He’ll do anything for a doggy biscuit. He’s Jewish in that way.

 

On a deeper level, the Maharal says that it is the reason why a dog barks when it hears the Malach Ha’Maves. For the angel of death is also not satisfied and wants to destroy and kill the world. They have that in common and come from the same source. The desire of the dog is to consume it all. To enjoy it all until the end. To reach the fullest degree of the satisfaction that it could never achieve. The first two letters of its name is kol- it wants it all. The Talmud tells us that kelev is as well kulo lev- its all heart. It’s all about fulfilling the desires of its heart. And that’s what we are all about as well.

 

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto in his essential work Mesilas Yesharim describes the purpose of creation as being created in order to achieve the greatest pleasure in the world of connecting to Hashem. Everything physical, every desire, every good thing in the world is really meant to bring us closer and closer to Hashem who gave and gives us everything. It is only by connecting to Him in those pleasures that we can achieve that. It is only when we do that, do we really taste life. When we eat- we make blessings. When we have special foods-we save them for Shabbos. When we see amazing wonders of the world, we turn our eyes to heaven and exclaim “Ma Rabu Ma’asecha Hashem- how wonderous is Your amazing world. Hashem chose us as His nation because to a large degree we are the ones with the greatest desire to get more and more- “hav-hav!” We are pleasure seekers- much like the dogs are in the animal kingdom that have the chutpza that nothing will ever stop us in our pursuit of taking things to the next level. If you don’t believe me, you haven’t been at a good Jewish Kiddush or wedding lately…

 

Yet there is a danger with that huge appetite. It’s that we can get so enraptured in the food, in the material, in the pleasure and taiva and we never bring that bone back to our Master where the real pleasure is. We gnaw at those pathetic bones but forget that the ultimate enjoyment is in connecting to the love and warmth of our Master who is giving it all. That’s where the really pleasure and enjoyment is. It’s the steak and prime rib of the meal, not the scraps that are just tastes of what His goodness really tastes like. The bones will never satisfy us. Connecting to Him though, always will. The chutzpa we have is to say we want more and more. We want to be closer and closer. It is the bark that we call out to the world to push it further and further and closer and closer to Hashem.

 

That first Pesach Seder when were getting ready to leave Mitzrayim, we ate that idolatry of Egypt that was all desire as a Pesach lamb. We sang songs to Hashem. We were tasting life, while their way of life without Hashem was reaching its inevitable end. There was no Angel of Death. He had no power in the world where Hashem’s glory is fully revealed. The dogs were silent, because they saw Ki Li Bnai Yisrael- Because we, Hashem’s dawgs, had entered the room. They tucked their tails in between their legs and walked away. They didn’t have to worry about their next meal for the first time. We were going to bring the light of Hashem to the entire world. That night when they did that, they earned the reward that every animal that died that was a tereifa would be theirs forever. La’Kelev Tashlichun oso- we give it to the dogs. They will be loyal to us and never bark when we are around, for they then connect to Hashem and then they know they have it all. Then the whole world will have it all.

 

In Perek Shira we are told that the song of the dog is

Bo’u Nishtacheveh V’Nichra’ah Lifnei Hashem Oseinu- Come, let us prostrate ourselves and kneel, let us bow before Hashem our Maker.  They express and sing that song for they are the symbol of a desire to connect to Hashem and achieve that ultimate pleasure that can only be fulfilled when we realize that everything in the world is from Hashem and we submit to that.

 

Our sages tell us that although when the angel of death is in the city the dogs bark and weep, when Eliyahu Ha’Navi comes though they will laugh. Rebbi Tzadok Ha’Kohen points out something remarkable. Eliyahu, he notes is Gematria Kelev- dog. Before Mashiach comes Eliyahu the “big dawg” will come and see a world whose face looks like a dog. It’s a world full of desire, full of pleasure seekers. It’s hedonism. Its more and more. It’s a longing to finally be eternally satiated. And he will reveal to us where the true Master and pleasure can and was only meant to be found. He will bring us home to our Master, to our Owner, our Maker. Then we will kneel and bow. Then we sing His songs. Then we will unite the world and experience miracles as we did when we left that Mashiach. The other nations will stop barking as we get off our jeeps and join us in this song. We will bowww and wowww the bark of life. We will finally be redeemed.

 

Have a barking great Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

“A hunt vos bilt bayst nit.”- A dog that barks doesn’t bite.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

8) The goddess of victory in Greek mythology is called:

Where in Israel did they discover a mosaic depicting Tyche the goddess of fortune?

A) Beit Guvrin

B) Beit She'an

C) Sepphoris (Zippori)

D) Caesarea

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/hachaya-yehalilu    – I am super excited as what my daughter Elka says is my best song ever. Composed after an Africa Safari and in honor of the animals of this Parsha that sing the song of Hashem I present to you my latest composition arranged and sung by Dovid Lowy- Ha’Chaya Halilu! Listen again and again…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E2de20wrPQ    - 8th Day Latest hit Ben Amram

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmEXlHUhzmM   – A new hit from my latest tourist! Reframe it!

 

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mC8GiZwY_Uo  -  I think this song wins the prize of the greatest song of the year…. Shnayd Zayn Negel…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfxrqeUP6tc    Brooklyn’s Hasidic Dog walker?

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 Child Sacrifice- 704 BC – If the story of our victory over Meisha the King of Moav ended last week it would’ve been a great thing. We have unity between the Northern Kingdom of Israel led by Yehoram and his alliance with Yehoshafat of Yehuda working together and miraculously wiping out their enemy Moav in Jordan and reaping a lot of booty and plunder from their camps. They are even joined by the King of Edom in this battle. We can imagine the euphoria. However, it seems that the story isn’t over yet. There is one more verse and one last act that still happens.

 

The pasuk tells us that Meisha realized the battle was too strong, so he took 700 men with him to attack Edom. Perhaps he felt that his fellow goy was the weak link in the alliance. Maybe he could break him off from Israel. So, he attacked him however the verse tells us that he was unsuccessful. Then the Navi tells us strangely that he took his first-born son that would rule after him and brought him as a burnt offering on the wall of the city. And there was a great anger against Yisrael as a result of that and we got up and went from the land. That’s the story. Now let’s try to figure out what happened.

 

Who sacrificed whom? So according to some commentaries and Midrash they interpret the story as Meisha killing the first-born son of the king of Edom after he was unsuccessful in attacking him. In fact these commentaries explain that it was the reason why Edom even joined the battle in the first place. His son had been abducted by Meisha and he went to battle to redeem him. When Meisha killed him though, the King of Edom had great wrath against Yisrael. It’s our fault. It’s always our fault… And thus we leave the land.

 

Option 2 of the story in Chazal and Midrash is that Meisha actually practices child sacrifice. He takes his own son and slaughters him. He spoke to his wise men who told him that the power of the Jewish people come from Avraham sacrificing Yitzchak, so he figured he would do the same. When he did so though, incredibly it worked. Hashem despite obviously being against child sacrifice, looks down at Klal Yisrael and points to them the sacrifice this goy has and determination to be willing to give it all up for his idolatry. And that of course points a finger at us what are we doing or willing to do for Hashem. And even more damning is how can we follow this sick idolatry that Moav practices, which it seems Israel as well had fallen into. And thus it is the anger of Hashem against our people.

 

Regardless, our sages tell us that this was the lowest point that we had fallen to. When we return to the “land” it means rock bottom. How far do we fall, we pick up next week with the story of the wife of Ovadia and find out.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE DOG JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Where do dogs go when they need a new tail? A re-tail store.

What do you call a sad dog? A Melan-Collie.

What do you call a sadder dog ? A Chi-Waah-Waah.

 

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. (oyyyy…)

 

Moishe is trying to convince Berel how smart his dog is. "Pretend to shoot it," he says.

Berel points his fingers at the dog and says "Bang!" The dog does nothing.

"See," says Moshie, "He knew you were only pretending."

 

Dog Rules....

1. The dog is NOT allowed in the house.

2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but ONLY in certain rooms.

3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay OFF the furniture.

4. The dog can get on the OLD furniture only.

5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.

6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.

7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.

8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.

10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

 

Izzy and Yankel were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent.

"You smell that?" Yankel asked.

Izzy replied, "the heck I do, let’s find where it’s coming from!”.

After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Izzy said "let’s get something to eat!"

They both were hungry but Yankel reminded him that they couldn’t enter with their dogs! So Izzy said "It’s cool, follow my lead!" he puts on shades and is stopped at the door

“No dogs allowed sir!"

Izzy insisted "oh it’s my seeing eye dog let me in"

 "It is? But that’s a dachshund !"

"Yes they're using them now because of their amazing sense of smell"

"Very well come in."

Yankel puts on shades and also stopped before entering

"No dogs allowed sir!" the waiter yelled

"Oh please forgive me, it’s my seeing eye dog" Yankel apologized.

"A chihuahua?!!!" the waiter shouted

"what??? THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

 

Old Mrs. Shpeilman lived alone except for her dog and her bird. One day, Mrs. Shpeilman’s dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to spend the day at her daughter’s house the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check.

 

"By the way, don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Shpeilman’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest-looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his work.

 

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling and name calling. Finally, the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

 

"Moishie, where's your homework?" Miss Feinman said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.

"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.

"Moishie, I've been a teacher in this Talmud Torah for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true, Miss Feinman, I promise" insisted the boy. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"

 

A man walks into shul with a dog. The shammas (ritual custodian) comes up to him and says, "Pardon me sir, but this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here!"

"What do you mean?" says the man. "This is a Jewish dog. Look."

The shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel around its neck this dog has a tallis bag (prayer shawl) around its neck.

"Rover," says the man, "kipah!"

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipah and puts it on his head.

"Rover," says the man, "tallis!"

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it around his neck.

"Rover," says the man, "daven!"

"Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a prayer book and starts to pray.

"That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely incredible! You should take him to Hollywood. Get him on television, get him in the movies, he could make you millions!!

"You talk to him," says the man, "he wants to be a doctor.

"

 

The Rosenberg family dog had been deaf and blind for years. When she started to suffer painful tumors, it was time to put her down. Mrs. Rosenberg gently tried to explain this to her seven-year-old son Moishie, who was taking this all pretty hard. Moishie asked if “Jazzy” would go to heaven.

Well I’m not 100 percent sure that dogs go to heaven,” said Mrs. Rosenberg, “But if they do, then I’m sure she would be healthy again and able to do her favorite thing: chase squirrels.”

Moishie thought about that for a minute, then said, "So dog heaven must be the same as squirrel hell."

 

Abe and Irv were neighbors in a Florida retirement community, and both proud pet owners.

My dog is so smart,” Abe bragged, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He brings the kid his tip and then brings me the paper, along with my morning medicine.”

“I know,” said Irv.

“How could you know?” asked Abe.

“Because my dog told me.”

 

A rabbi was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the rabbi was taken aback. "

You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the rabbi was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "

All right, give him the dog."

 

A Jewish woman wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog.

 

So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog. She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?" They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal. Only the dog is dead.

"Oh, my gosh, we killed this woman's dog. What are we going to do?"

Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a cocker spaniel. They're common dogs. There's a pet shop across the street from the airport. We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex. She'll never know the difference."

They bring the woman the other dog but she says, "That's not my dog." Laughingly and making light of it they say, "What do you mean that's not your dog?"

To which she responds, "My dog's dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it."

 

A guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. He tells the bartender, “I got a Jewish dog named Moishe. He’s so smart he actually talks. Can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''

 

''Dogs can't talk, pal,” replied the bartender, “but if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, well, let’s just say you don’t wanna find out.''

''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – what is on top of a house?''

''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.

''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''

''Okay, Moishe. Tell me – how does sandpaper feel?''

''Ruff!"

''What the heck you tryin' to pull, mister?'' said the bartender.

''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question. Okay, Moishe, tell me – who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''

"Ruth."

The bartender had enough and picked up the guy and his dog and threw them onto the sidewalk outside of the bar.

Moishe stands up and looks at his owner. "Wow. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

 

Little Moishie Epstein’s dog Benji was sick and the boy was afraid that his dad would come back from the bet with bad news As his dad stepped through the door with Benji in his carrier, Moishie rushed to find out what the vet had said.

"I'm afraid it's not good news, son," said his father. "The vet thinks Benji's only got another three weeks or so to live."

Hearing this, Moishie burst into tears.

"But Benji wouldn't want you to be sad," said the father, putting a comforting arm around Moishie's shoulder. "He'd want you to remember all the good times you had together."

Moishie rubbed his eyes. "Can we give Benji a funeral?"

"Sure we can," said his father.

"Can I invite all my friends?"

"Of course you can."

"And can we have cake and ice-cream?"

"Sure, you can have whatever you want."

"Dad," said Moishie, "can we kill Benji today?"

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The answer to this week”s question is  B – And I was doing sooo.. good until now. Ah well, If I have to get something wrong let it be idolatry in Israel. I actually thought I was pretty good on the topic of Greek “Gods”. But, I guess not. I really had no clue about this one at all. I guessed Helios or Aphrodite but I knew they were both wrong Helios was sun god and Aprhodite love or something like that. Anyways the right answer for the victory god is Nike- thus the sneaker company taking that name. And the place where you have the goddess of fortune was Beit Shean not Beit Guvrin which I guessed. Neither place to I tour too often anyways. I definitely would’ve used this question as one of the ones I’m allowed to skip. As I really had no clue. But for now, they stumped me on this one making the score 5.5 for Schwartz and 2.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far…

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