nsights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
April 25th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 24 27th of Nissan 5785
Counting to The Siren-ity Prayer
“So how was your Yom Tov? Really? Mitzi knew all of the four questions? She stayed up the entire Seder! What did she get for Afikoman? You went where Chol Hamoed? Cool… So anyways as I was telling you it was really nice over here in Netanya. Yeah… my tourists came up here to tour with me. Well one day I took them to
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!! WHOOOO!!!
My heart fell through my stomach. Yonah, who was on the phone with me, sounded like his did as well. Sorry. Gotta run. It’s a siren. Woah. He’s also having a siren in Beit Shemesh. What’s going on? Is this it? Is Mashiach here? Did Iran finally shoot some really cool huge missiles at us. Why didn’t my alert on my phone go off? I hope Aliza’s alright. Where are Elka and Tully? I hope Shani makes it down to the shelter with the twins. It’s been months since we’ve had a siren. What’s going on? Is this the stinkin Houtim again? I thought Trump was taking care of them. I thought this was over already. That the only ones left to get their due justice are the ones in the Israeli government, intelligence (a real oxymoron) and army echelons that let all this happen in the first place. Poor hostages. Why is this siren still going? How come I’m the only one running out to my shelter?
Those were my wild thoughts yesterday morning at 10:00 AM as I ran frantically to our shelter. It was only when I sent Tully back in the house to get our cleaning lady and call her in to join us, after-all we will need here to clean up after this is all over. It took Aliza a long time to find good help in this country. It was only then that I chapped that it wasn’t a missile siren. It was Yom Ha’Shoah. It was a call for a moment of silence for the martyrs of the Holocaust. A moment of silence heralded in by a sky piercing terrifying siren. A siren that for the past two years has meant death, destruction, terror and trauma, as well as miracles and salvations. As I shamefully crawled out of my shul. I tried to look cool and pretended that I was just there to get some stuff out of our freezer. Of course, I knew it was Yom Ha’Shoah. How could I forget? I wasn’t nervous at all. I waved at my neighbor who also seemed to be carrying a frozen chicken in his hand for no reason. We smiled and nodded. We were both very cool and not nervous. Just two chilled neighbors getting chicken from our freezers…
I don’t know how many other chicken freezer guys there were out there yesterday. I also don’t know how many people ended up in the hospital with trauma from those Yom Ha’Shoah sirens that brought them back to those terrifying days of sirens, missiles and bomb shelters. How many tripped over their feet and fell downstairs running there. I believe that they say that more people have been injured getting to shelters than from actual missiles falling in this crazy war. But I can certainly tell you that everyone as the sirens went off thought the same thought. When is this going to be over already. Why are we remembering the Holocaust when we still seem to be in middle of one? When there are so many families that have had their loved ones killed, murdered and butchered. When our brothers and sisters, fathers and children are still being in tunnels by animals worse than the Nazis. When is Mashiach coming already? When will the great “day after” finally be here?
This week’s parsha of Shemini, is the parsha of the day after. But it’s not. The parsha, named after that great Eli Marcus singer group “The Eighth Day”, is really as well the first day. After-all it’s the first day of Nissan. It’s the first day after the 7 days of the dedication of the Mishkan. It’s the first day the Shechina came down to the Mikdash. Rashi brings ten different things that it is the first day for. According to one opinion in the Talmud, it’s even the first day of Creation (unlike the more commonly accepted opinion that its Rosh Hashana). Yet the parsha is called the 8th day. It’s the day after the 7th… October 7th? Shemini Atzeret? Yup… It’s that day…is what everyone is thinking and has been living for the past year and a half. It’s the Shabbos after we left Mitzryaim, this past Pesach, and Mashiach is still not here. The Holocaust siren is still ringing.
Now one would think on this great 8th or 1st day, it would be a happy one. A joyous one. We’ve finally arrived. The Tabernacle/ Mishkan has been built and erected. Our sin of the golden calf has been forgiven. We’re on our way to the HolyLand; the land promised to our ancestors so long ago. We’re just a few days journey away. The month of redemption is here and ready to come to its conclusion. Yet the parsha begins with what our sages tell us is a bad ominous word.
Va’yehi- and it was on the 8th day.
It’s like that tense chilling background music and tempo in a bad horror movie. We just think that we’re about to get out of the house with the axe murderer in it, but badda dumm badda dumm badda dumm… Vayehi… something scary is coming. It’s a lashon of tzar- of troubles yet to come on this Shemini day…
Sure enough, the music doesn’t disappoint. It never does. On this day and pinnacle of joy the two sons of Aharon are killed. A fire comes out on Shemini and burns them up. Moshe tells Aharon that he knew something like this was going to happen. He heard the background music. The great day only comes after a Holocaust. The Shechina descends when there are burnt houses. When there are dead children. The 8th day comes when we think we’re already there, and it’s time, and we’ve done all we can, and we’re ready, and then Hashem shows us that…surprise…it’s not yet… there’s still one more thing that you haven’t done yet. I need to be sanctified with martyrs. I need one last tragedy. One great huge unexpected devastating blow. One more siren. B’krovai eh’kodeish- I will be sanctified with those close to Me.
Non-incidentally the haftorah that is chosen for this week’s parsha as well is along the same theme. Fast forward a few hundred years from that 8th day of the Mishkan in the 2nd year when we left Mitzrayim to Dovid Ha’Melech’s greatest day and moment when he is finally bringing the Ark of Hashem to the Tent in Yerushalayim where the Beit Ha’Mikdash will be built. Dancing, singing, shofars, parades, all the way from Kiryat Ye’arim (Telshe Stone) to Yerushalyim. 30,0000 buchrim join him for this amazing event and day. This is the moment. The “Yom Ha’Shemini” has finally arrived. It’s Simchas Torah (at least conceptually). And then the music comes on in the background. Uh Oh… siren…
The Aron starts to fall of the wagon. Uzza reaches out to grab and catch it and BOOM! He dies. According to one interpretation in fact a fire came out and burnt him up. (It’s derived by the wording that here also it says that the dancing was “lifnei Hashem”, just as it does by Nadav and Avihu). Dovid is devastated. The party is called off. The Aron is placed in the house of Oved Edom Ha’Gitti and it sits there for three months until Dovid sees the blessing that takes place and brings it home to Yerushalayim. Yet, this second time that Dovid brings it the simcha gets taken to a whole new level of crazy. Dovid gets up and starts dancing and shaking and singing like a crazy drunken breslaver lunatic. He can’t be stopped. He’s going wild. He looks like that guy at the wedding in the middle that has no clue how to dance and is just jumping up and down and shaking and twisting… Obviously his wife Michal is a bit embarrassed by all of this and tells him to grow up already. He is the King of Israel and its time he started acting his age. But Dovid persists. He tells her this is why Hashem chose him, over her father. Ouch! It’s the tikkun we need. It’s the only way the Shechina comes down. He learned his lesson and we need to learn it and ours as well.
There’s a fascinating alternate translation of Unkelos that seems to be brought in old volumes. The Rambam brings this interpretation as well as the Torahs Shlomo and other Midrashim. We are all familiar with Rashi and most commentary’s translation of Aharon’s response to his children’s death as being on of silent acceptance- va’yidom Aharon. He was like a domeim- like an inanimate rock that doesn’t speak or respond. Yet those other translations translate the word va’yidom has praise. “V’shibeich Aharon”. And Aharon sang songs of praise to Hashem. He thanked Hashem. It wasn’t sad holding back emotions and silent acceptance. It was much greater and higher than that. It was a recognition that Hashem has done something extraordinary here just now, that is beyond my comprehension. That is beyond and rationalization in this world. That when the Shechina comes down to this planet, it’s going to be a process of me throwing out of my existence anything that I thought I could comprehend about His ways. Only then can the 8th day come. Only then can we be redeemed.
The sin of Uzza, the Abarbanel writes is that he lacked faith that the Aron wouldn’t fall. That Hashem still needs us to catch it for Him. That we still have some control and part to play in the redemption. In the Shechina coming down. That the 8th day is the natural conclusion of the 7 previous days. That mind-set is why the 8th day is described as a lashon tza’ar of tzoris- trouble, pain and tribulation. Va’yehi- “and it was”. is built on the past. The word V’haya though “and it will be” though is the terminology of the future. It’s transcendent. The letters of V’haya are actually the same as the name the of Hashem yud-hei-vav and hei. Past present and future all come together. Moving beyond this world. Understanding that Hashem doesn’t need us to descend. We just need to remove ourselves entirely and allow His Shechina to come down. And the only thing stopping it from happening, is perhaps our reaching out and grabbing the Aron. By thinking we still have some control. By thinking that it’s our efforts that make it happen. By seeing the day that the Shechina will come down and the redemption will come as being just day number 8 rather then the first of a brand, new existence. The first, as the day of Creation was, when Hashem didn’t need our help to make it happen. When He made a world and just wanted to be with us basking in it together.
Dovid learns that lesson after Uzza’s mistake. He dances and sings and jumps and parties, because he understands that there is no “zich”. There’s no ego. V’naklosi od mi’zos. I could get even smaller and smaller and lighter and lighter. There’s only Hashem. The Shechina is coming down. The smaller I get, the more I dance, the more I’m not thinking about what other people will think of me, the more I realize that what Hashem is doing for us is beyond any comprehension. The greater the revelation will be. The better the song will be.
Hafacta mispeidi l’mchol li- You have turned my mourning into a dance; into a circle
Pitachta saki va’ta’azreini simcha- you’ve opened my sackcloth and girded me with joy
L’maan yizamercha kavod- in order that I will sing in Your honor.
V’lo yidom- I will not be silent. I will praise You. I will be nothing. And You will be all.
Fascinatingly enough, our sages tell us that the house that the Aron sat in of Oved Ha’Gitti. He himself was a descendant of someone special. He was from the descendants of the children of Korach. He was from the Levi singers in the Temple. Gat is in fact in Gaza. It’s a Pelishti city. The children of Korach were saved and swallowed up in the ground. There in that tunnel hanging over a high place in Gehenom they call out Moshe is true and His Torah is true. There they realize that there is nothing besides Hashem. Tunnels in Gaza do that to the biggest atheists. Holocausts, October 7ths, Sirens, wars and tragedies at the times of our greatest simcha are there to bring us to the point where we recognize that the day ahead of us, around the corner is not an 8th day, but the first of a new world. That Yom Ha’atzmaut is coming after Yom Ha’Zikaron. Atzma’ut not as in Independence Day, but rather as a day that we reveal our essence. That it is all Hashem.
We are in the days of Sefirat Ha’Omer. Each day is a count. It’s a build-up. We bless the month of Iyar which at first glance seems to be a month without any holidays in it (Lag Ba’Omer doesn’t count), but it’s in fact the month where every single day has a biblical mitzva to count. It’s a month with Yom Ha’Atzamaut and Yom Ha’Zikaron. A month of sirens and revealing our essence by remembering. zikaron la’yom rishon. Remembering that first day of Creation that we are climbing to. Remembering that the tzoris are beyond our comprehension and are all from Hashem. They’re good. They’re there to minimize us.
We count 49 days, but then the Torah tells us that we have counted 50 days. The 50th day is Hashem’s day. It’s the day we don’t count. It’s the day that He tells us He never needed our counting. It’s the day that he comes down because we have gotten smaller and smaller and revealed more and more of Him. When that happens, there won’t be sirens anymore. There will be the sound of the shofar. Va’yehi will be vi’haya ba’yom ha’hu- it will be that day when we hear that great Shofar. When the only shelter we need will be the shade and shadow of Hashem.
Have an blaringly amazing Shabbos and a Chodesh Iyar Tov!
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
"Fun leydike feser iz der lyarem greser” - Empty barrels make the most noise.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
15. Israel’s memorial to victims of the "Twin Towers” disaster is located near the entrance to the city
of ______
What is the “N Settlement”?
A. The early 20th century Zionist plan for settling empty Negev regions, thus the use of the letter
N
B. The physical deployment pattern of Zionist settlement in the Land of Israel from the end of
the 19th century and into the20th century, which is shaped like the letter N on the ground
C. The response by Zionist institutions to the 1939 White Paper which included constructing a
series of settlements in the Jezreel Valley shaped like the letter N on the ground
D. Post-1967 Jewish settlement on the back of the mountain in Judea and Samaria which forms
the letter N on the ground
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/achainu - My acapella Acheinu… Wow!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXQsMtzKWLg&list=OLAK5uy_melh80nXaghaaiEhQpcWWC7fHkexPBXxs&index=6 – - Naftali Kempeh’s latest Acapella I spend a lot of time at Shilo and this is Chana’s song..
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/rVcWJF-Xl14 - Bardak Learning Makkos in honor of this great Makkos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rMZd_Gi3hc – Yonatan Stern Akiva medley Acapella
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Tzidkiyah- who?- 598 BC – With the exile of Yehoyachin, we have finally arrived at the final king of Israel before the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash; Tzidkiyahu Ha’Melech. Now although we know him as Tzidkiyahu, it seems that name was given to him by none other than Nevuchadnezzar who appointed him to be king after taking Yehoyachin into exile and locking him up in jail for his rebellion.
Who was Tzidkiyahu in fact? Well it’s not clear from the verses and there might even be contradictions. The simple pshat accepted by Rashi and most is that he certainly was the uncle of Yehoyachin’s and brother of his father Yehoyachaz’s son of Yoshiyahu. Which brother though seems not be clear. The Gemara brings opinion that he was an older brother named as Shalum. Other suggest based on the verse that Shalum was younger brother. To make it even more confusing there are others that suggest that Shalum was really Yehoyachaz- the father of Yehoyachin, and Tzedkayahu was another brother named as Matanya. Maybe that’s why they called him Tzidkiya-who??? (sorry couldn’t resist…) Are you confused yet? I am… But welcome to the times before the end of the first Temple. They were confusing…
Now what makes this time even more confusing is that Yehoyachin was still alive and in Bavel and Tzikiyahu who was appointed king by Nevuchadnezzar was really never appointed by the people, many of who supported Yehoyachin. Tzidkiyahu was only 21 upon becoming King and thus there were those that felt that he was merely being a puppet king of Bavel. Can you imagine the accusations that went of Bavel-Gate and undo influences of foreign governments in the leadership of Israel. The truth is those accusations were correct, though. Nevuchadnezzar made Tzidkiyahu swear on a sefer Torah by Hashem that he would never rebel against him. Nevuchadnezzar recognized that any other oath would be meaningless.
The Gemara tells us that unlike Yehoyachin, Tzidkiyahu as his name insinuates was a righteous king; a tzadik. Yet his generation had fallen too far. This is the counter opposite of Yehoyachin’s generation before the exile of all of the sages and Torah scholars together with him, where the generation was righteous still but the king was wicked. Our sages derive from this that the power fo the Torah scholars can prevent the destruction despite their sinful leaders- and Yehoyachin as we discussed was really really bad. While at the same time, the righteousness of the leaders, like Tzidkiyahu does not have the power to protect it’s generation. This is one of the sources that is certainly utilized and become engrained in our nation’s psyche of the power of Torah to protect.
Yet despite Tzidkiyahu’s initial righteousness, as we will see his failure to heed the prophecies and warnings of Yirmiyahu and Yechezkel and listen to their political and spiritual guidance ultimately brought about his downfall…
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TERRIBLE SIREN JOKES OF THE WEEK
In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens.
In Detroit, you ignore both.
What do you call a pig with lights and sirens on it’s back? A ham-bulance
The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced it to stop. A heavily built policeman got out and walked over.
"You name, please?" asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen.
"Certainly, officer," replied the driver. "It's Chaim Yerachmiel Shmerel Antschel Zelig Baruch Goldenfarbenstein."
The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook his head and said: "I'll just give you a warning this time don't break the speed limit again."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome. Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway. The cops are quick though, and are just about to reach the entrance. There are three empty potato sacks lying against the wall.
"Quick! Hide!" The brunette says, and the three women each crawl into a bag.
A police man comes down the alleyway, looking around for any signs of the women. The potato sacks stick out to him-so he gives the one with the redhead a kick.
"Meow!" goes the redhead, doing her best imitation of a cat.
"Just an alley cat..." The police officer mumbles, moving onto the next bag and delivering a quick nudge with his foot.
"Woof!" Goes the brunette, imitating a dog.
"Just a stray..." The officer mumbles again, heading to the last bag, and giving it a light kick.
"POOOOE-TAYYY-TOOOEE" grunts the blonde.
Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway... Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting...
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn,and yelled,"PULL OVER"
"No!"the blond yelled back, “its a scarf.”
So I got pulled over...I was driving home from the bar and of course Sirens were wailing and showing red and blue. I pulled over and the officer showed up to my window and shined a light in my eyes.
“Sir you have been swerving and your eyes are red have you been drinking”
“Well, your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts?!”
We laughed and laughed!!! Yeah, I need bail money....
A blonde was driving down the highway. Soon she heard sirens and saw lights behind her, and was pulled over. A cop, also a blonde woman, approached her door.
"You were speeding, miss," she said. "May I see your license?"
The blonde driver rummaged through her purse for a minute before looking up in confusion. "Well, what's it look like?" she asked.
"It's a small square thing with your picture on it," said the cop.
The driver looked again and finally pulled out a small mirror and handed it to the cop. The blonde cop looked at it and handed it back.
"Okay, you can go," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a police officer."
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The answer to this week”s question is B- So I’m back to 50/50 on this one. The first part was easy. The 9/11 memorial – the only in the world by the way that has all of the names of the murdered outside of the US is in the valley opposite Har Menuchos across the Highway, where no one really knows or gets to visit. The idea was that it’s memorial is a monument of a an unfruled flag made out of actual metal grids from the Twin Towers and when looking at it from the side it looks like a ner tamid memorial light that is up against our memorial mountain of Har Menuchos at entrance to Jerusalem.
The second part though I had no clue. I don’t even remember hearing about the “N” settlements. When I looked up the answer though, I understood why. See in my Hebrew course and they are more commonly known as the Choma and Migdal tower and wall settlements. But even then I don’t know why they wrote the 19th century. As the Tower Stockade settlements were in the 1930’s and 40’s… So I dunno. I guessed C, but they said the correct answer is B… Not sure why.. Wo anyways… I’ll take the hit. Get half credit on this one and the new score is Rabbi Schwartz 10 Ministry of Tourism 5 on this exam so far. Oy….
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