Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
August 8th 2025 -Volume 14 Issue 40 14th of Av 5785
It was time to leave the States. After six years in Seattle, founding a Shul and community in West Seattle for the Kollel, and watching it grow and flourish. From our meager first Shabbos service that I had heavily advertised only to have a 11-year-old boy and a goy show up we had watched our community grow to 20-30 people coming regularly on Shabbos and for meals and to our programs, we now had our own building, a sefer Torah, a Monday and Thursday minyan, a Torah day school and even hired another Rabbi to work with us. Yet, my job was becoming more and more of a full-time fundraiser, which is not what I was really looking to do with my life. And it was becoming more and more apparent that I had reached the point to finally do what my mother always said I should do. Get a real job. Or in her words, "what type of job is a Rabbi for a nice young Jewish boy? Leave that to the goyim and make an honest living!". Yeah… now you see where I get it from.
It was then that I told my wife, that if I had to get a real job I think it was time to move to Israel. The excuse I had always had to stay in chutz l'aaretz was that I was doing the "Lord's work". And I made a cheshbon. See, in America the way it works is either you make it or you don't. If you do, then you're a winner. If not you're a loser. In Israel though, nobody really makes it. There's a lot of people to commiserate with. Yet, your mere existence here has meaning. Every time you go to the bathroom in this country, you fulfill a biblical commandment of "settling the land". Every step you take. Every move you make. Every falalfel you eat. Every lap you swim in a pool or a stream, it's all a mitzva. It's a like living in a Sukka 365 days a year.
See in America you have to learn Torah to get mitzvos. Here? Just sitting on your couch in your living room and reading a Mishpacha magazine article is settling the land, just like it is when you do that in your Sukkah. Hiddur mitzva is reading one of my articles on touring Israel in my column there. (Yeah.. I know it's been a while... one day soon will get back to that… meantime just keep reading the back issues on my website ourholylandtours.com).
The question became though, what should I do in Israel? How will I support my family? I had never really done anything in my life besides Jewish outreach work and I didn't know much about Israel, but I was pretty sure that wasn't a career that would put pita on my table. To my luck, I had someone in my shul that had somehow made a career out of being what they call a "life coach". I think those are people that can't figure out what to do with their own lives, so they figure they'll get a job telling everyone else what to do. It's kind of like a Rabbi, in that way, but in a monetary economic sense rather than a spiritual one. But it's the same concept… hmmmm…
His response to me was, that the secret of a successful career is to try to understand what I enjoy in life, what inspires me, what gives me a "chiyus", what I find a geshmak in, and once I knows what that it is then I should try to figure out how to make a living out of it. So after much deep thought and inner reflection I came to the conclusion that I really really really enjoy vacation a lot. I'm like the king of "bein ha'zmanim". There's really no one that does it better than I do. That knows how to have a better party and good time. It inspires me. It gives me a chiyus. I love it. So I figured that if I became a tour guide, I could perpetually be on vacation. People would pay me to come with them and show them how to party and have a good time. It doesn't get better than that! So here we are, on the week of my 15th Aliyah-versary with the best job on the entire planet earth. Thank You Hashem!
Now as I cracked the parsha this week, and I always like word plays and title connections as you guys know, even if they don't really make sense and certainly stuff that you wouldn't see anywhere else, I somehow noticed how the title of our parsha- va'eschanan is kind of like the word vacation.. va'esvacation… You just got to get rid of the "ches" an the second "nun" and stick in a "shin". That's not much of a problem see a few verses later the parsha uses another word called va'noshantem- which means and you will get old, tired and bored in the land of Israel and stick that together with va'eschanan and you kind of get the word vacation there. As well since our parsha has the Shema in it there's as well another similar word that gives us our shin and sounds like vacation which is vi'shinantam livanecha- And you should teach or repeat the words of Moshe and the Torah to your children. Throw that all together and there we have the essence of a vacation! Ok Purim torah over for now… Hey it's Tu B'Av this Shabbos happiest day on the Jewish calendar according to Chazal, I'm allowed to get Purimdik. Now let's talk about what this is really about.
See Moshe turns to Hashem and implores him to come into the land of Israel. Actually, the other side of the Jordan is also Israel and is currently occupied territory by Jordan and Syria- even ask the tribes of Reuven and Gad and half of Menashe, and is thus obligated in the mitzvos of the land as well, but Moshe wanted to come on over to this side of the Jordan river as well. He wants to see and walk and experience the whole thing. He wants a "vacation" and thus he is va'eschanan- he asks Hashem for this free gift.
Now we all know that trips to Israel are in no way free. Especially these days. Have you checked out El Al prices lately? Now United would be cheaper, but we Jews it seems have an issue with unity. We all think that we are the only ones that have it right and that there is only path to Hashem or El Al- to get up. And thus if you're doing it without unity you gotta pay more… So what is this business of Moshe asking to come in for free, or as Rashi tells us that the word va'eschanan comes from the root matnas "chinam"; a free gift?
Even more troubling is that Rashi tells us that tzadikim always ask for that free gift. They don't ask Hashem to answer our prayers because of their merits, but rather just because Hashem gives it to them and to us without any cost or detraction from their merits. Just because.
What's that all about? Who comes to Israel for free? And if you have the money, and certainly the merits and could use them as Moshe certainly did, and you're desperate to come in, then why not use them. It's like someone comes to Israel and is begging El AL for a free flight, when you could just use all of those millions of mileage points you have stored up. Yet Moshe doesn't. It's either free or nothing. I'm not flying.
The Klei Yakar elaborates upon this free request of Moshe. He notes that Moshe certainly was not asking Hashem to let him into the land of Israel based on all of his previous merits. He knows that's not allowed. He quotes how the King Chizkiyahu was punished for merit name dropping when he asked Hashem for a salvation. It's an important thing to remember that I think many of us make the mistake of doing. We ask Hashem for things and out of desperation start to barter with Him. Hey, Hashem remember how I accepted on myself not to talk during davening, use that merit to give me…. Hey, you know how I threw out my smart-phone I want to trade that merit for You to make this happen. That tzedaka I gave, that lashon harah I didn't speak, that orphan I took care of, that widow I comforted…. I'd like to trade them in for You to…. find me a job, help my kid get married, get into yeshiva, cure my wife, give me a baby, free a hostage, protect my soldier, bring me to Israel. Yeah, tzadikim don't daven that way. Hashem is not a shuk. Mitzvos and merits are non-tradeable. Moshe, obviously who pretty much wrote the handbook from Hashem about how the world works from Hashem, know this. That's not what he was saying when he asked Hashem for a free gift. That's obvious.
As well he writes, Moshe was not asking as well that he should be allowed into the land in the merit of all of the future mitzvos that he will do there. The mitzvos of eating the fruits of the land, of learning Torah in Eretz Yisrael, of the sacrifices, of shemitta, of even settling the land. That would be perhaps a legitimate request. One can ask Hashem to make himself a millionaire or make this deal go through in order that that we can give tzedaka. To have a great day touring work out so I can share the glory of the land with klal Yisrael and people living in galus that just don't get what they're missing out on. So that one gets into the right yeshiva so that we can learn Torah and become scholars and teachers. One can do that. One can daven for that. Yet tzadikim and Moshe don't pray that way. That's not the way they shuckle and roll…
Someone asked Reb Chayim Kanievsky a question once. It seems that he was a very wealthy individual that had a very lucrative business in the States. He had a son who was a big talmid chacham who had a Kollel of forty avreichim that this father was the sole supporter of. Yet, he wanted to move to Israel. He wanted to live in the Holy Land. He wanted to fulfill the mitzva that all of his ancestors and Moshe had dreamed and prayed of, of Yishuv Eretz Yisrael, settling and fulfilling the promise Hashem had made to our Patriarchs. Yet, if he would do so, he would no longer be in a position to "hold out" and support the Kollel as he would be giving up his entire business and livelihood. Should he move? Is he allowed to move? Should he give up everything and all of that merit of supporting the Torah in Eretz Yisrael, just so that he himself could live there?
Rav Chaim unequivocally responded "mitzva l'alos la'aretz". It's a mitzva to move to the land. Supporting Torah is a wonderful thing, but it's not an obligation that one has for someone that can move. As well, who knows if your business will be good next year. Who knows if you will have money to support them? Your entire business can crash tomorrow. The stock market can as well. If Hashem wants to support the Kollel, He'll find them supporters. If Hashem wants you to support the Kollel, He can make it happen even in Israel. Staying in chutz la'aretz is a doubt whether you will be able to fulfill the mitzva of supporting the Kollel or not. Yet, the second you land at Ben Gurion airport, every minute you walk and live in Eretz Yisrael you are getting a mitzva. And the general rule is if one has a mitzva that you can do with certainty- a vadai, then a mitzva that one has a doubt about whether you can fulfill or not does not knock it off. Especially a mitzva that is obligatory.
Do you know why tzadikim don't daven based on future merits and mitzvos they might do? It's because who says, they'll be able to do it. Our job is not to live for the future. It's to live in the present. Hashem, bring me into Eretz Yisrael for free, Moshe asks, in order that I can live every moment for the moment in Your Holy Land. It's not for the past. It's not for the future. It's for the right here and now. It's why its called a present. I bet you always wondered about that...
Most of our lives we are living either in the past or the future. We do things, we behave in certain ways, we reminisce, we suffer, we remember, we are programmed to behave because of everything that we've gone through. Because of the past that we've lived and experienced. Alternatively, or perhaps even at the same time we live and worry and plan and do things for the future. We work, we slave, we dream, we run, we build, all for the tomorrow that we wish to exist in. This is not the type of life that Hashem created us for. It's stressful. It's overwhelming. It's back and forth. One can't breathe. We're stifled. Do you know what happens when you live like that for too long? You need a vacation.
A vacation is taking a break from the crazy past/future lives that we are living and pausing for a while and living in the present for a moment. It's understanding that life isn't about what was and what's piling up behind me, nor is it about the huge load, burden, goals and challenges that stand before me. It's about being free of all of that and just existing in the here and now. It's about breathing in and out and recognizing that Hashem is standing right next to us and pumping that air into your body, right here. He's doing it for free. chinam. He's doing it because He loves you. Because you have chein- grace in His eyes.
Moshe tells Klal Yisrael that we need to know that at the end of days we will return to Hashem and hear His voice.
Devarim (4:31) Because Hashem your God is merciful- lo yarpecha- He will not let us loose.
Rashi explains- He will not stop holding you in His hands. He will not loosen up. He will not remove you from His side.
And this is to the nation, that Moshe described as one that will be exiled, that will worship the gods of the nations. Or as the Baal Haturim writes on the verse a few pesukim beforehand where Moshe says that we will be a nation that
Ibid (4:28) serves there, God made by man, wood and stones that do not see, hear, eat or drink.
The Baal Haturim, quotes the gemara in Avoda Zara 8. that notes it doesn't say foreign gods, rather just God with a capital "G:". They remain in chutz la'aretz and serve Hashem and keep the Torah, but in fact that is really just worshipping Avoda Zarah in purity. Staying in chutz la'aretz and not coming into Israel and being happy with that is just another form of Kosher idolatry… I don't say that… Chazal do. The Torah does.
Vacation is being able to overcome the sin and curse that caused the exile. Va'noshantem- it became old. I'm living in the past. My future is just shlepping on me and aging me. I'm not living in the here and now. I'm not waking up each morning with a fresh day. It's just same old-same old cycle. It's a life of cost, trade, barter, plan and not living for now. Not living and understanding the gift. Not being free, which is truly the essence of everything.
Moshe wants to come to Eretz Yisrael for free. To appreciate that gift. To live each moment. It's not about what he may do. It's not about what he has done. That's Hashem's cheshbon. It's just so I can live and appreciate each moment in the moment. That each moment is a gift. That's really what coming to Eretz Yisrael is all about. Because as long as one is not here, then they are on an endless journey to get here. As Rebbe Nachman famously is quoted as saying "every step I take is one closer to Eretz Yisrael.". And it's a tiring 2000-year-old journey.
This Shabbos is Shabbos Nachamu. The sefarim tell us that not only will Tisha B'Av eventually become a holiday in the Messianic era, but it will be a 7 day holiday with this Shabbos the 15th of Av becoming like 7th day of Pesach, a holiday within itself. In fact the first night of Pesach is always on the same day of the week of Tisha B'Av (which is one of the reasons why we eat and egg on Seder night). The first night of Pesach is when we left Egypt. It's when we threw our past behind us and began moving to our future.
On the 7th day of Pesach which corresponds to Tu B'Av is when we finally really became free. It's when we recognized that Hashem is standing right there next to us. Each Jew, even the maidservant saw her tormentor brought before them for justice. Each Jew saw the sea split right in front of their personal eyes. Just for them. On Tisha B'av in the fortieth year of the Wilderness all of those that were meant to die finished dying. The past was over. But we didn't realize that until Tu B'Av. It's the day when we can finally be comforted. When we can appreciate that we can now live in the present. That Hashem is holding us and standing with us. That the sin of the spies who were worried about their future, that wanted their "comfortable" past to continue has finally reached the end. It's the day when we accept the embrace and free gift Hashem has given us and stop making excuses and trying to figure out if there's any small fine print on the bottom, that prevents us from coming here.
Every Shabbos is the opportunity to take that vacation Hashem tells us to take. Shabbos Nachamu, this year, should be the one that we finally be the beginning of an era of the yom she'kulo Shabbos- a world of eternal vacation!
Making up for some past week's lack of sponsorship Baruch Hashem we've a got a double sponsor this Shabbos- Nachamu Nachamu!! Twice! 😊
First off this week's E-Mail is sponsored by my dear friends from Detroit Dave and Sarah Wayntraub of Oak Park, Michigan in honor of the wedding of their granddaughter, Leah, daughter of Rafael (Ralph!!!) and Susie Wayntraub of Southfield, Michigan, to Yitzy Fried, son of Rabbi Shloime and Brachy Fried of Lakewood. May the new couple be zoche to build a bayis ne'eman b'Yisroel and continue to be sources of true Yiddishe nachas to their families, both old and new! Mazel Tov!!
As well it is sponsored this week in what should hopefully become my new friends and clients Tzvi Friedman and family in honor of the aufruf and upcoming wedding of Yossi Halpert, son of my dear friends roommate, yeshiva buddy, and their hookup with me Ephraim and Naomi Halpert to Rachel Weiss of Mexico city! Mazel Tov what a tremendous simcha… So so so excited and sad I'm not going to be there to attend… May Hashem bless you and them with only yiddishe nachas as they build a bayis neeman b'yisrael! Mazel Tov!!!
********************************
Guys! Readers Friends… We need sponsors… Your support is essential to us. It doesn’t have to be much. Any amount works. Honor a relative, Memorialize a loved one on a yartzeit, a birthday a special occasion. This weekly Email goes out to almost 2800 people weekly. Over 1100 weekly actually open this. Jews from all over of all backgrounds and denominations… This is the unifier of Klal Yisrael. SO please show your support. Make a Rabbi happy. Just click below and the dedication is yours.
Thanks so much!
Your sponsorship can be made by clicking on the following link
https://interland3.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E343033&id=50
Alternatively, you can mail a check made out to
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
10 Eshel, Karmiel, Israel, 21681
Please write in memo Insights sponsorship
Or in the States to
25441 Gardner
Oak Park, Mich, 48237
All Donations support the local programs of the Young Israel of Karmiel and can be deducted from your Maaser!
Thank You!
********************************
SHABBOS VA'ESCHANAN/ NACHAMU
CANDLELIGHTING 7:03 PM
MINCHA KABBALAS SHABBOS-7:20 PM
SHACHARIS- 9:00 AM
Last time for Kriyat Shema- 9:21 AM
Shiur in Eim Ha’Banim Smeicha- No shiur this week…
MINCHA- 6:45 PM
MARIV- 8:19 PM (ten minutes after tzeis)
************************
YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Kain umzister soineh iz nito; me batsolen far ehm..- There are no enemies for free; you have to pay for them.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
29. The name of a tree with an especially wide top and which grows in streams in the Judean Desert,
the Negev and the Arava is ______
Where in Israel can you find a park forest of Tabor oak not felled (cut) during the
Ottoman period?
A. Lower Galilee
B. Jordan Valley
C. The Sharon region
D. Upper Galilee
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dptj7zzIig&list=RD5dptj7zzIig&start_radio=1 – Shabbos Nachamu isn't complete without this song… the Carlebach classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_xHmY6ttIo&list=RDu_xHmY6ttIo&start_radio=1 – Here's an actual Moitzash Nachamu Carlebach concert… I was actually at one in Lakewood…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gk2lwKDaT8&list=RD7gk2lwKDaT8&start_radio=1 - Slobodka Niggun- Joey and Naftali… Love it..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDfe5NiiZYE&list=RDjDfe5NiiZYE&start_radio=1 - A gorgeous Shwekey and Amir Dadon concert in Tzedkayah's cave Guf Ve'Neshama-- powerfulll
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbgGPsaucik&list=RDdbgGPsaucik&start_radio=1 –MBD's Latest Ata Hashem! Hot off the press…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ51z8gqdgM&list=RDgQ51z8gqdgM&start_radio=1 – Shloimie Daskal – Baal Ha'Yeshuos
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
The aftermath Gedalia- the last Yehudi (get the pun..?) 586 BC - 6000 Jews. That's how many were left after the Babylonians were finished with us on Tisha B'av. Everyone else was killed or exiled. There were more Jews living in one neighborhood in Lakewood or in Monsey then there were in Eretz Yisrael. Yet, we remained. The land still had it's children. The Babylonians allowed some of us to stay. The reason wasn't because of their generosity or love for us. They needed workers. Some slaves that could feed and take care of their troops. The vintners and the farmers, you gotta have bread and wine to survive…
Gedalya ben Achikam was appointed to be the regent of the Jews by Nevuchadnezzar. His family were descendants of the Shafan family that served under Yoshiayhu in his mass teshuva movement. He was trusted by Nevuchadnezzar because he was on Team Yirmiyahu. He opposed Tzidkiyahu's rebellion against Bavel. He was as well loved and respected by most of the nation. This was our chance to experience our galus in the Holy Land. To build again and at least have the privilege of remaining in Eretz Yisrael. He was the light at the end of the tunnel.
They lived and ruled in Mitzpa, rather than the destroyed city of Jerusalem. The city of Mitzpa is where Shmuel was from, it was where the Kingdom of King Shaul was and it even has a Tu B'Av connection… Isn't that cool!? But first where is Mitzpa?
It seems that there are two suggestions from archeologists. Some prefer to place it where Nebi Samuel, the tomb of Shmuel is today. Others suggest it's not far from there in a place called Tel Nutzba. Which kind of sounds like mitzpeh (kind of like vacation and va'eschanan..). It's in the portion of Binyamin just north of Yerushalayim near Givat Binyamin today.
What happened there on Tu "bAv? Well it is there that all of Klal Yisrael comes to wage war against the tribe of Binyamin in the book of Shoftim, by the story of the concubine- pilegesh of Givah. It's here where they all take a vow never to let their daughters marry their sons. The tribe of Binyamin is thus looking at being wiped out. No future. Not 12 tribes. No shechina. No Bais HaMikdash. It will all end. Until Tu "bAv comes along and we all get together again. We dance in the fields of Shilo and let our daughters be kidnapped, by them. We return the hostages to their families. It's the holiday when we get together and fix the sins of the destruction. From there we build the Bais Ha'Mikdash with Dovid and Shlomo. Gedalya ben Achikam goes there to start the next hope. Unfortunately, he's not successful. Yishmael comes and kills him. We'll see that next week. In the meantime let's hop this year Tu "bAv brings the geula and fixes those sins.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S REALLY TERRIBLE VACATION JOKES OF THE WEEK
Where do math teachers go on vacation? To time square.
There was a World press media bus that went on a vacation by bus. The bus driver gets distracted by the beautiful scenery and drives off a cliff next to a farm.
The following day the police question the farmer:
- Did you not find any victims?
- Actually, I did.
- And where are they?
- Well, I buried them.
- Every reporter died?!
- Some of them said they didn't, but I don't believe a word of what they say anymore...
My wife wanted to go on vacation, but I wanted a staycation... In the end, we settled it with an altercation.
Summer vacation was over and the teacher asked Little Johnny about his family trip.
“We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota."
The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?"
Little Johnny thought for a few seconds and said, "Actually, we went to Texas."
For her birthday I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation after this pandemic is over. Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.
Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests. For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on the beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a swimsuit came walking straight towards them.
They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.', nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a little while, the same blonde, wearing a different colored swimsuit, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said: 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.' and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'
'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'
"Father, it's me,' she replied, 'Sister Agatha!"
Shaindy's on vacation and calls home. She asks her husband Yankel, "How’s my cat doing?"
Yankel says, "The cat’s dead."
Shaindy is all upset and says, "Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could’ve just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down."
"Okay, I’m sorry," says the Yankel, "I’ll remember that."
Shaindy then asks "Anyway, how’s my mother doing?"
Yankel says, "Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down."
A few years back when I’ve been on vacation in the Alps, my wife got pregnant. The year after that, a vacation in the Rockies, my wife got pregnant. Two years after that, a vacation in Aruba, my wife got pregnant. And another vacation’s coming up…...”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I think I’m going to have to take her with me this year, just in case"
(yeahhh Yeahh.. I know it's a bit nisht… but couldn't resist…
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
A young man is vacationing in Spain. when he happens to wander into a pub populated entirely by tourists, most of whom are in the midst of playing some kind of trivia game.
The young man sits down at a vacant table and listens for a while, slowly realizing that the game is focused entirely on the many hotels, motels, and hostels that dot the country. It should be pretty boring, he thinks, but he ends up becoming more and more enthralled. Finally, after the thrilling finish of a round, the now-hooked traveller approaches the bartender.
“Hey,” he hurriedly says, “can I join the next game?”
The bartender arches a bushy eyebrow. “Really? Feeling swept up in the trivia?”
The young man nods. “I’m as surprised as you are, honestly. I wouldn’t have expected that I’d want to play so bad.”
The bartender sighs and nods. “Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Quiz itch, son.”
Another man vacations in Spain, while he's there, he decides to get a tattoo to remember the trip by. Just his luck, though, the tattoo get infected. The local who has been showing him around notices the next day and offers to lend a hand.
"I know a guy who specializes in this exact thing," the local says. "He's a friend of mine and I'm sure he'll help you out."
"Really?" the tourist asks. "I would never expect you to know someone who specializes specifically in tattoo related medical issues."
The local turns to him and simply says, "Of course, nobody expects the Spanish Ink Physician
(and you thought the previous joke was bad… wait for the next one..)
A man is on vacation in Spain. He stops at a local inn to stay and is having a drink down in the bar.
Once there he was challenged by the bartender to win a free meal and a drink. He needs only score higher on a trivia quiz against a very smart chicken.
Amused and figuring he couldn’t lose to a bird he accepts. The bartender places the hen on the counter and the contest begins. To his astonishment the hen wins decisively. He forfeits his bet with good grace.
“I gotta say I did not think I was going to lose a trivia game to a bird.” He says.
The innkeeper laughs “Nobody expects the Spanish inn quiz whizz hen"
My wife and I can never agree on vacations. I want to go to exotic islands and stay in 5 star hotels. She wants to come with me.
***************************************
The answer to this week”s question is A- Another one right! Baruch Hashem. We're getting back into a decent passing score zone. The first part is easy. Of course it's the Shitta tree which was used in the building of the Mishkan although the ones you see here are certainly not big enough. As far as part B though, I wasn't totally sure. But being that Har Tavor has lots of those trees. And I didn't think they cut them down as they did in other places I went with that lower Galil area and sure enough was right! So the score is now Rabbi Schwartz 18.5 Ministry of Tourism 10.5 on this exam so far.
No comments:
Post a Comment