Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, January 4, 2019

Getting it Right- Parshat Vaeira 5779 / 2019


Insights and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
January 4th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 14-27th of Tevet 5779

Parshat Va’eira
Getting it Right
It always amuses me, although it is somewhat tragic, how the ignorance of many Israelis about our history and biblical figures can sometimes lead them to making pretty hideous mistakes in what they emulate. One great example is this hotel that I visited in Eilat a few weeks ago with my wife, I say visited because I couldn’t afford to stay there, but the spa was only 90 shek, so that’s where we went while sleeping at a cheaper hotel. {Not that you get the wrong idea, that I just visited Eilat, which is a fantastic vacation city, but it was a business trip as well, as I had to check it out for some upcoming tours I had. Oyyy the travails of being a tour guideJ}.

Anyways the hotel was one of the most magnificent in Israel a few blocks long and glorious in every architectural way. Its name troubled me though. It was called the Herod’s hotel. Now I understand that they were naming it after that great King of Israel that built the 2nd Temple which according to our sages “one who had not seen in the Temple of Herod had not seen a beautiful building in his life”. In addition he built the Tomb of our forefathers in Hebron, the glorious port city of Caesarea and other huge edifices around Israel (tour guides on this list can you name them?). Yet, Herod was not a nice person. He was kind of a psychopath. I was wondering as I was looking out at the beautiful swimming pool, if the namers of the hotel knew that Herod had his own children and grandchildren drowned in his pool, because he suspected them of trying to overthrow him. Or as I stood over the beautiful balcony looking out at the glorious view of the Eilat mountain range and the hills of biblical Edom if they knew that Herod’s wife committed suicide jumping off the balcony of his palace rather than being married to that tyrant. (Incidentally he had her preserved in honey after that and would continue to bring her to all State Functions-think about that next time your husband says Honey, can you come hereJ). The man was literally a paranoid murderer, who killed thousands of Jews in the worst possible way. Not someone I would think you should name a hotel after.

One can go to the Dead Sea area and be greeted by the Lot Hotel. Also not a great name for a hotel. Again being that this is near the ancient city of Sodom, where Abraham’s nephew Lot lived and which the angels rescued him from before its destruction with fire and brimstone, it was thus named. Yet, let’s see what I would expect to see in a hotel named after Lot. First of all, the food is probably pretty salty, the beds might be too short or long and your feet can be stretched or shortened as was the custom in Sodom. Tour guide and Rabbi advice, don’t’ complain or ask for room service.  In addition, I would probably be a bit nervous being my daughters there, as Lot threw his two daughters out to the street to be molested by the local mob. On the other hand, the wine is probably pretty good, as the Torah tells us Lot got plastered after his city was destroyed…yet I wouldn’t recommend sharing a room with any family members that night. You never know who you’ll wake up with in the morning.

Sadly, there’s a lot of things like this in Israel. I always get saddened when I meet an Israeli named Nimrod-which the Torah tells us was a great warrior, but our sages tell us that he was the despot king that threw Abraham into the fiery furnace and build the Tower of Babel to rebel against God. Why not name your child Hitler, or Stalin? It’s not just an Israeli problem, though I remember once being in a Synagogue in Chicago and an individual got up to the Torah to give his newborn daughter her new name. He called her Michaela Yardena, which sounded kind of nice until I put two and two together and realized that the man was a Chicago Bulls fan. Ouch! But the truth is throughout history we see Jews seem to be forgetting our roots, the significance of maintaining our decidedly and uniquely Jewish identities and names and trying to blend in as much as possible. I remember once going to the ancient city of Tzipori, with a Chasidic family and how they noted how strange it seemed to them that the names of those who had dedicated the synagogue mosaic floor 2000 years ago were Plonius and Marcus-decidedly not your typical Jewish names. I reminded them subtly that their names Berel and his wife Fayga were also not really biblically oriented. Ummmmm. But it’s true. Jews in Spain became Pedro, in France became Jean, and in Africa probably Walla Walla Boom Boom. Yeah we kind of forget that the non-Jewish names and countries that we are in will come and go. It is only us that are eternal.
Why do we forget? Why do we try to assimilate? What can we do to counter that? Is there some Divine plan or trick to remember? The answer is of course there is. In fact Hashem commanded us twice a day to remember one story. To have a Seder feast each year with our family and to retell the story of how we became a nation. The lesson that we learned on the day that we were born. The lesson of our Exodus from Egypt.

This week’s Torah portion tells us the beginning of the story of our Exodus. We’re all familiar with it. We saw the movie, sadly enough, Heston’s and the Disney version. We know about the blood, the frogs, the wild animals, lice and hail and we remember the splitting of the Sea. Little kids sing about Pharaoh in Pajamas in the middle of the night. Hashem made a big production out of this. It is certainly memorable, we know the stories and our sages and our parents Midrashic elaborations and embellishments. Yet sometimes we get so caught up in the details we can forget the big picture. We can forget the big question. The elephant in the middle of the room. I think it is the question that we should ask, but perhaps too many of us might have the wrong answer, particularly in our politically correct world. I remember someone once asked me it in Seattle, although they kind of missed the boat, but they came close. Let’s see if we can stumble on it together and maybe than we can have the insight I believe we are meant to in our lives today.

The question I was asked is why were the animals killed, throughout the story? The poor fish in the plague of blood, the frogs-they didn’t seem too bothered about the lice, but the poor sheep and cattle in the plague of Pestilence. Oyy… What did they do wrong? A real good Seattlite question J.

Being a Rabbi I kind of responded to the question with what I think is really a better question. We do that sometime, by the way, in order to get to the clarity of the issue and to follow the line of questioning and logic to its ultimate conclusion. I asked, what about the babies and children of the Egyptians, what did they do wrong? Let’s take it a step forward. Was all of Egypt really culpable for the actions and stubbornness of Pharaoh? There were many of them that were pretty ready to let the Jews go at various points during the plagues. Yet all of Egypt suffered. All of them drank blood for a week. All of them had boils, lice, darkness, they all lost their firstborns. Why? I can understand that sometimes there is collateral damage in a war. If it’s Israel that causes this there is of course world condemnation. If it’s the US then they talk about establishing a commission to investigate, If it’s Putin, he kind of smiles, and if its Arab against Arab like in Syria today then we all just send them money and supplies. But this is God we are talking about that is inflicting this upon- a decidedly and unquestionably evil nation-but certainly He is not abiding by any type of Geneva Convention laws.

The question, as well guess can be posed, why we had to suffer so long as well? What was the point of all of those Jewish babies thrown into the Nile? The torture, the slave labor, the attempted Genocide? The horrors that our people suffered for close to two centuries is incomprehensible? Why did God allow it? This is not only a question that we are allowed to ask. The Torah in fact at the conclusion of last week’s portion as asking it? Where are You? You have not redeemed your people. The Torah begins this week with the answer to all of the questions above with the answer in a nutshell it goes something like this

 “I am God-the Omnipotent one and I have heard your cries and I will take you out with great miracles and bring you to the land of Israel So you will know that I am Hashem who takes you out and the land your forefathers dwelled in will be yours as an inheritance.”

 Got it? All makes sense now? Let’s take it slowly and try to dissect this. After all it is the essence of everything. It’s what we are meant to remember.

We had forefathers, they recognized Hashem as the Creator of the world, but never revealed the ultimate mission of bringing the concept of a God that is above time and space that is running the world with an ultimate goal of it achieving that recognition of its Godliness to the rest of the world. And thus HE has chosen their descendants to be his people that would be charged with bringing that light to the world. That’s the picture. Those people for them to succeed have to realize that they are different than anyone and everyone else. They can be leaders and the most influential people in the world at one point in time, As Joseph was in Egypt, as the Jews were in Spain, Germany, Communist Russia or even the good old US of A. And in the next minute, if they forget their mission, their job, their ultimate real home, they can be thrust into the Nile, the inquisition, the Gulag, or the Aushwitzes of history. But ultimately I will take them out. Note the tense of the word that the Torah uses “I am Hashem who takes you out” present/future tense. Always that is our story. When I take you out it will be with miracles that are there to show you that you are not Egypt. They will drink blood and you will not be able to even give them your water, but sell them to them (otherwise it wouldn’t change). Don’t get confused, you are above them. They need to realize that and even more significantly you need to realize that. Their animals die so they must come to you for animals. They’re children will die, so that they may recognize that only through the Jewish people and nation will salvation come, will the light come. We need to realize that even more so.

Hashem didn’t just miraculously transport us from Egypt magically poof “Disapparate”-for all those Harry Potter fans.” To Israel. He extricated us from them with 10 plagues that would teach them and us a lesson that we should never forget. He blew them away. He showed that every aspect of Creation would go against its natural way of working because they all serve Hashem which is above time and “modern” conceptions of right and wrong, just and fair and “proportionate and disproportionate responses”. The only right is what brings the world closer to its inevitable purpose, the only good is when the Jewish people recognize that it is ours to bring that to the world from the country that our forefathers lived in for that is our inheritance and our legacy- the word Morasha/inheritance is also present and future. Evil is whatever stands in the way of that purpose. Whatever detracts and enslaves us, whether it is external forced labor and persecution or it is our internal tendency to stray and abdicate our role and assimilate. Or even worse look to the world for direction or morality, rather than lead and teach them as we are meant to.

Hashem is just and all His ways are just. The story of our birth as a nation is one that is filled with horror and dread. It is what happens to a world that is Godless. It is what happens to a world that the Jewish people had chosen to assimilate and accept the dictates of their society rather than to lead the world. It brought tragedy upon us and it brought tragedy and devastation for Egypt and the rest of the world. We have said “Never Again” many times since then, yet tragically it has happened again and again. It happens daily horrifically today even within the “modern” State of Israel that Hashem has blessed us with returning to. We are home but still need leading. Still not teaching. Still answering to the worlds hypocritical sense of morality that seems to only be slung at us, because we have not given them the alternate and only true sense of morality that we are meant to. We have yet to claim Israel as the country that is our inheritance to bring the name of Hashem and His Torah as the only true theology to the world. It’s why we are here. It’s why we were born. It’s what the world is waiting for us to do. It’s what our Father is waiting for us to do.

 I await the day when hotels in the US of A will be called The Avraham Avinu Hotel, that in Saudi Arabia they will be called the Moshe Rabeinu Plaza, that the names Herod, Lot and Nimrod are not only never used in a Jewish context but are even scorned by the rest of the world. A world where the entire United Nations will invite the leading sage to teach them about ethics and morality. A world where evil is finally eradicated. A world where the Jewish People finally and truly Never forgets.

 Have a blessed brachadikeh Shabbos and a great new month of Shevat!,
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

“Gai farshtai a maidel: zi vart oif di chasseneh un vaint tsu di chupeh..”- Go understand a girl: she looks forward to her wedding and weeps as she walks to the marriage ceremony.

RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw9_S5xjwsELuzzy and Rivky’s theme song by the Wedding Miracles Amazing wonders!

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/rivkah -In honor of Rivky and Luzzy’s wedding this week, the song I composed for their Chuppah. Like and share!!

https://youtu.be/QDHkjT8K31k  - The strangest Bris naming- Na Nach Nachman style

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77sc_mOjKyc- Birkas HaBayis and Banim OHad in honor of the wedding!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YvKMmFRgkI  -    Benny Friedman new video Bikur Cholim No Time Like Now


RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q The Mesubim junction is named after a site mentioned in:
A. Megillat Ta’anit (The Scroll of Fasting)
B. Serekh haYahad (the community rule scroll)
C. The Passover Haggadah
D. Megillat Eikha (Lamentation)

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS” CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Parshat VaeyraLashon hakodesh/ Hebrew is an amazing language. It defines the essence of the object, or term. The letters are not arbitrary. They are the letters Hashem created the world with and therefore they have meaning within themselves. But this is not a kabbalah column. It’s lomdus. But I felt you need that introduction to understand why lamdanim put so much emphasis on understanding every nuance of a world Our Talmud does as well. And the reason is because behind that little nuance there one can reveal an entire new story. Here’s a good example.

In this weeks Parsha by the plague of dever- perstilence, the Torah seemingly contradicts itself, if you pay attention to the nuances. By the plague the verse tells us.
Shemos (8:6) and all of the cattle of Egypt died and from the cattle of the children of Israel not one died.
In the next verse however it tells us that when Pharaoh went out to make an assessment of the damage
Ibid: And Pharaoh sent and behold there wasn’t ad echad- even until one of the cattle of Israel that died.
So seemingly these verses are both say that no cattle of Israel died. However, the Torah phrases it strange. It should just say not even one- what does “until” one mean. So the truth is Reb Yehoshua Leib Diskin notes, that in the Talmud there is a dispute whenever the word “ad” is used. When we say something is “until or up to something” does it include that thing as well. In Talmud terms it is called ad vad biklal oh eino biklal- is ad part of the general rule or the exception. If that is the case then the first verse would be telling us that none died and the second would be telling us that none besides one died. Hmmmm now why would that be, the lamdan must ask?

So the Mahril Diskin explains that the rule in Egypt was that one had to give a 1/10 of one’s cattle to the King. That being the case, he suggests that if a person had ten sheep than one died therefore exempting him from the tax. If on the other hand he had less than 10 then none died.  He suggests that it is in fact what the verse is telling us. First it tells us that none died. Then Pharaoh sends us messengers to get his tenth tithe sheep from everyone and he found out that none died from the Jewish people until one- unless there were 10 and then the 1/10th sheep died for Pharaoh not for the Jewish people.
Cool!

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Crossing the Yarden 1272 BC  Although he did not have as good of a PR agent as Moshe did, the crossing of the Jordan River by the Jewish people led by Yehoshua was just as miraculous. In some ways perhaps even more so. The Torah tells us that unlike by the Red Sea when the Jews were nervous and frightened, by the Jordan river they seemed to have kicked the fear of raging waters and went right in. Now when I cross the Jordan river- generally in the North of Israel I have to be point out to my tourists a few things. Number one, this is not where the Jews crossed. They crossed on the southern Jordan, across from Yericho above the Dead Sea. We can’t cross that today because the other side is Jordan. The second thing I point out, is that the Jordan was certainly much larger than today. For today it really is not much more than a creek. But it still is a cool chavaya to “cross the Jordan” which I do by the Golan near Gesher Arik or Gesher Bnot Yaakov.
As well the crossing of the Jordan in the times of Yehoshua entailed taking 12 rocks and building an altar/ memorial from them of the crossing. These rocks the Midrash tells us were ultimately taken up to Gilgal where it was built and then perhaps taken down again and re-erected and plastered over by Mt. Eival when they had the blessings and curses, but we’ll get to that later. Today throughout the area of the Jordan Valley there are a few sites where they found circular manmade rock formations that can be associated with Gilgal, a word that means round, although the Torah tells us a different reason it’s called that. The closest one to the Yericho crossing is near Moshav Argaman.
Finally the Torah tells us that unlike the Red Sea crossing here the Kohanim and the Ark stayed on the other side and came last and then they flew over in the midrash version, carrying those that were carrying it. One can imagine the excitement of the nation finally realizing they have entered the land, but oh no, the Ark is on the other side, the Kohanim are still there, the water closed up and then poof it flies over their head to the other side. Hollywood couldn’t do it better. And this is the story I like to tell my tourists when we stand by Kasr El Yahud right by the Jordan river as we overlook the place of the crossing. I also tell them to look in the water to see if they can see the 12 replacement stones that Yehoshua put in the Jordan river instead. No one has found them yet. But the Torah tells us that they are still there. So keep looking!


RABBI SCHWARTZ’S HOTEL JOKES  OF THE WEEK
Funny Hotel Notices In The Lobby
1.      English well speaking.
2.      We take your bags and send them in all direction. 
3.       In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
4.      The elevator is being fixed for the next day during that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
5.      In the lift: Do not enter the elevator backwards, and only when lit up.
6.      To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
7.      Customers are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

 Funny Notices In the Bedroom:
1.      Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.
2.      Please to bathe inside the tub.
3.      Please leave your values at the front desk.
4.      You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
5.       
Funny Notices In a the Bar:
1.      Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
2.      Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
3.      Special today - no ice cream.
4.       
Funny Holiday Notices in the Hotel Shop
1.      For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
2.      If this is your first visit to Tokyo, you are welcome to it.
3.      Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
4.      Specialist in women and other diseases.
5.      Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

 And of course my favorite joke…
Yankel’s mother calls his camp after the summer with her complaints. She is furious that her son came home without his towels.
“What type of camp is this?” she yells “What type of children, from what type of homes that takes things that don’t belong to them? I don’t understand how this could happen!”
The secretary at the camp apologized and suggested that perhaps little Yankel had merely misplaced his towels and they would proceed to look for them immediately. She asked the Mom if she could please describe them for her.
Yankel’s mother said “They are very recognizable, they all say Hilton on them….”

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Answer is C–  C’mon this one is Easy shmeezy. Everyone should get it right. Not only get it right but even figure out where the intersection is? Mesubin of course means reclining. And where do you have reclining? By the Pesach Seder, of course. The haggada starts off with a story of all of the Rabbis that were reclining all night long and talking about the story of the Exodus from Egypt. They were all at the house of Rabbi Akiva. What city? Bnai Brak, of course where this modern day intersection is.
score is Schwartz 10 and 1 for MOT (Ministry of Tourism) on this exam so far.



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