Insights
and Inspiration
from the
Holy Land
from
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend in Karmiel"
March 15th 2019 -Volume 9 Issue 24-8th
of Adar II 5779
Parsha
Vayikra /Zachor
Off the Road
Now one phrase it took me a bit of time to grasp was ani kvar ba’derech- I’m on my way. Again, in civilized countries when your repairman told you that, after he was supposed to be by you 20 minutes ago and you are still waiting for him, it means he feels bad and was probably caught in traffic or something and he should be by you in a few minutes. Not the case here. Kvar baderech in Israel means I am still in bed and I am truly considering get out of it right now, to brush my teeth and shower. If he’s religious then he will daven, pick up a coffee, smoke a cigarette and will then be over before the day’s end. It is frustrating at first if you don’t understand this. You may have other things you planned to do for the day. Like go to work, pick up groceries, have a life. You certainly did not think having someone come repair your internet, or fix your washing machine or appliance should be a whole day affair. Well prepare yourself when you hear those three fatal words. Enjoy your day off. Today just became wait for the repairman day.
Now I always note to my tourists when we are baderech-driving along the highway. That there are two things you will inevitably see in this country on the side of the road. Either someone is going to the bathroom-for some reason Israelis have an aversion to public bathrooms at gas stations. If you’ve been at some you might understand. The other is that they will be standing facing towards Jerusalem shuckling and swaying as they are davening mincha. Some even with talis and teffillin- catching a two-fer shacharis that he missed with mincha together. That is not your repairman by the way. He davened in shul at the late minyan and stays for the coffee and cake afterwards. He wasn’t in a rush.
This, on the side-of-the-road, short, afternoon prayer that we recite gets its name actually from the simple flour offering that is mentioned in this week’s parsha. See our prayers were established after the sacrifices. Each morning and afternoon we would bring a daily sacrifice that consisted of a lamb, a flour offering and a wine libation. In the evening we would burn all of the extra limbs and fats. Shacharis is morning, Arvis, Maariv, or arbit- depending on where you’re from is the evening prayer. The names for two of these prayers make sense, as shachar means morning and erev is evening. What’s with the name mincha though? Flour offering? Now I know in the afternoon you’re out there trying to make a bit of ‘dough’, but what about the Kollel guys? And yes, the mincha offering is the poor man’s offering. But what about the rich Kollel guys? You know, the ones whose father-in-laws aren’t buying them new cars and apartments. What do they think of when it is called the Mincha prayer. {By the way it’s nice having a forum to write jokes that aren’t getting censored by Mishpacha’s editorial staff JJ}.
It’s not my question. I confess. The Talmud in Brachot (6:) tells us that one should be careful with the mincha prayer, because that was the time of day that Eliyahu was answered. Tosafos explains that since the mincha offering is brought in the Temple at that time, the prayer is named after that offering. But that still doesn’t really answer the question because the morning offering also had a flour mincha offering in it.
There is a fascinating midrash that discusses the offering of the mincha. It seems like an Israeli midrash.
Usually one finds when a rich man and poor man
come to court. The judge only pays attention to the rich man. Hashem however
does not ignore the poor, and accepts their prayers. And just as He does not
disdain their prayers, He does not disdain their mincha offering.
Reb Leib Chamsan suggests that the midrash is obviously not speaking about financially wealthy or poor people. We know Hashem is not impressed with your fancy car. Rather it is talking about someone who is wealthy or poor in Torah, in good deeds, in observance. It is those religiously impoverished ones Hashem is telling us that their prayers are not disdained. Their prayers are in fact just as special to Him. They may be people that never crack a Torah book. Not their thing. Never have over a Shabbos guest. They like the quiet. No interest in charity. Shnorrers! They may not even keep Shabbos, eat kosher, or go to shul. They might even-dare I say it- have a non-kosher smartphone. But their prayers are still from the heart. They also have a Father in heaven they turn to. And He is listening. He wants their mincha offering.
The Aruch Hashulchan notes that unlike the morning and evening prayers that don’t really interfere with one’s work day. They are either before or after. Mincha is smack in the middle. (Yeah, not 5 minutes before sunset so you can get a two-fer with your maariv). Mincha is the shortest of the prayers, it’s the simplest and usually the most rushed. It’s the poor man’s tefilla. You say it ba’derech. Pulled over on the side of the road. But it’s that offering that is most precious to Hashem. It’s the time that Eliyahu Hanavi was answered.
Do you know who Eliyahu’s crowd was for that Mincha prayer on the top of Mt. Carmel? It was a people that were worshipping the Baal. A nation that sat back as Ahav massacred the prophets of Hashem. Religiously impoverished would be putting it nicely. And yet it was their prayer that Hashem answered. That He sent down fire from heaven to eat up their offering.
This week as we approach the holiday of Purim we read the special reading of parshat Zachor. We remember that brutal attack right after we left Egypt by the nation that eventually produced a Haman; Amalek. The Torah goes out of its way to tell us where they attacked us.
Devarim (25:17) Remember what Amalek did to you baderech-on
the way when you were leaving Egypt. That he happened upon you baderech-
on the way and he struck the stragglers, the weak from behind you. And you were
weary and tired.
When Queen Esther sees Haman, Amalek’s descendants, decree to annihilate the Jews, she tells Mordechai to gather all the yehudim. Bring all of them. The megilla uses the word yehudim a lot to describe Jews. The Talmud tells us
Megilla (13.) The name Yehudi is only used for
someone who rejects idolatry.
Every Shemona Esrei that we daven we conclude with one sentence.
V’arva Hashem minchas Yehudah v’yerushalayim- and it is sweet before Hashem the mincha of Yehudah and Jerusalem.
Our Mincha, and the minchas of all of the yehudim should be precious before Hashem
Ki’yimei olam u’kishanim kadmoniyos- like the days of old and like the early years.
May this Purim be the one where he finally brings us to the end of that road.
Have a preposterously
exalted Shabbos and totally slammed Purim!
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
********************************************************
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S
FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
“Der derech hayosher iz alleh mol kosher.” The just path is always the right one.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF
THE WEEK
answer below at end of Email
Q. A settlement founded after the creation of
the state:
a. Arad
b. Nir Am
c. Holon
d. Nahariya
RABBI SCHWARTZES COOL VIDEOS OF
THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/techelet-mordechai
– You really won’t have a great Purim Seuda unless you learn this
song and sing it again and again! My Techelet Mordechai
https://youtu.be/vUIt07E85ck?list=RD3T1-_EXmcd4
-I dare you to
try to listen to this song without pumping your hands up in the air as you hear
the words Up UP Up by Yoni Z
https://youtu.be/CYbksYD_gSA?list=PLa2Kxb0rLAL0i5k_Bn2cYu8DBgttTnwnv – The Grave of Esther and Mordechai in Iran
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S “LOMDUS”
CONNECTION OF THE WEEK
Parshat Vayikra– Now in most yeshivos we
learn what are called the lomdushe tractates of Talmud. Primarily those that
are found in nashim and nezikin- the marital and civil areas of the Talmud. But
the real real lamdanim go to Brisk and there they study Kodshim the laws
associated with the sacrifices and the temple. I’ll be honest. I never went to
Brisk and never appreciated the study of kodshim. I’m more into oxes goring,
marriage and even moed- the holiday tractates. But there is something
special and meaningful about the lomdus of kodshim because it brings you closer
to the Temple. It lets you experience it service through Torah despite not
physically being able to touch it. Particularly as we read the book of Vayikra
let’s try to get a taste of that.
So
the Torah tells us in the laws of sacrifices
And he shall
slaughter the bull before Hashem; and the Kohanim, the children of
Aharon, shall bring the blood and sprinkle it upon the altar.
The
Talmud derives from a close reading of the text that Kohanim only need
to enter the service at the point of the sprinkling of the blood. For the
slaughtering? Any old Shemrel or Berel is kosher to do it. Shechita is kosher
b’zar- a non-kohen is permitted to do the slaughtering.
Rashi
notes in the Talmud that although this is true for all of the sacrifices
including the daily ones. For the Shabbos offering only a Kohen is permitted to
do this. If he does he is considered as if he violates the Sabbath. As it is
prohibited to slaughter an animal on Shabbos. The question of course is why
can’t he do it? What’s the difference between weekday and Shabbos? What’s the lomdus?
The
Toras Michael explains that although everyone is permitted to slaughter the
animal and according to many it is even preferable that he does it himself. He
is however not obligated to do it. The Kohen on the other hand is charged and
obligated to bring the sacrifices. On Shabbos personal sacrifices are not
permitted. The only thing that is permitted is obligatory sacrifices, like the
daily ones. As that is the case although the slaughtering / shechita is
permitted by a non-kohen, however it does not give him a waiver to
violate the Shabbos prohibition of slaughtering an animal. It has to be a
mitzvah to knock of the violation. And a mitzvah is not as it is commonly
mistranslated, a good deed. Rather, it is a commandment, an obligation. And a
non-kohen has no obligation and thus cannot do it.
By
the way understanding this principle also can help you understand why a woman
cannot count in a minyan. A woman is allowed to daven and even
fulfills a commandment when she davens in a time of need. She is however
not obligated to pray at a specific time, as men are. She is also not obligated
to daven with a minyan, whereas men are. Only those that are
obligated in the mitzvah can be part of making that minyan. If you are
not obligated, you can’t be counted as one of those that make the quorum of 10
individuals that have a mitzvah to be part of it.
We
learn prayer from sacrifices. Our sages established our prayers in place of the
sacrifices. Anyone can bring sacrifices, anyone can slaughter an animal, and
anyone can daven and anyone can join a minyan. Yet those that are
obligated and commanded to do those things have the added responsibility to see
that they get done. And there you have a bit of classic kodshim lomdus!
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S
AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK
Queen Esther Mordechai
and Purim Story 360
BC –
Hey, it’s Purim this week, so let’s take a break from our chronological Eras
and places and jump ahead after the destruction of the Temple to Purim. Now
being that this is the only holiday established outside of Eretz Yisrael where
am I going to take tourists to appreciate the Purim story.
Well the first and
easiest topic of discussion is when is Purim in Israel? As many of you know we
are told that cities that have walls around them from the times of Yehoshua
celebrate Purim on the 15th of Adar which is Shushan Purim the day
after everyone else celebrates the holiday. So what cities fall into that
category? Yerushalayim is one that is well known and is the only
definite city, besides Shushan, that does the 15th. There are quite
a few that celebrate both days though out of doubt.
The Talmud tells us the Tiverya
is such a city as the Talmud brings a dispute whether the fact that one of the
“walls” is really the Kinneret and if that is halachically the same
status as a regular wall. Chevron as well certainly had a wall around
the city at the times of Yehoshua and many times I stand there up by Tel
Rumeida by that wall. The question however is that tosafos notes that
Chevron was a city of refuge for unintentional murderers. (Today there are a
lot of intentional murderers living in the arab quarter). As such, tosafos
rules, that cities of refuge did not have a wall around it and they should read
on the 14th. Being that this is a matter of dispute though, Chevron
and the neighboring Kiryat Arba keep both days. Another city is Shilo
which kept two days, however with the recent archeological excavations of a
wall from the times of Yehoshua there are some that suggest that it should only
keep the 15th like Yerushalayim.
Tzfat
is another city that is in doubt whether it had a wall back then, as is Akko
and Yaffo which all read megilla both days. Interestingly enough the
Chazon Ish ruled that the entire Gush Dan area which would include Bnai
Brak and Tel Aviv should read both days as they are all built up
from Yaffo and would be considered samuch v’nireh- close enough to the
city to have the same halacha and reading as Yaffo.
The other topic of
course where we can bring up Mordechai and Esther is by their grave. What?
Aren’t they buried in Hamadan Iran? There is in fact an incredible tomb
for them there. (I’ve enclosed a youtube clip down below of it.). Yet dating
back to the 12th century there is a tradition that with the death of
her descendant Cyrus her bones were brought to Eretz Yisrael and buried in the village
north of Tzfat called Baram. There were traditions that she was buried in
a cave there with a large pointy stone on top of it. The cave is no longer
there neither is the grave, however many come to Baram and pray by the
ancient synagogue walls there that date back to the period of the Talmud. Interestingly
enough those traditions also state that buried next to her is Rav Pinchas
Ben Yair. Which it seems got switched to Mordechai as well who was the son
of Yair. Rav Pinchas Ben Yair is buried in Tzfat though. So there were
periods of time when the people of Tzfat would go down to Rav Pinchas’s grave
on Purim and remember Esther as well there.
But of course the best
place to talk about Mordechai the Jewish adviser to Achashveirosh, who did not
bow to Haman and despite it’s very non-PC connotations at that time, would be
to contrast that with any political discussion that goes on in this country. Whether
it is Bibi not bowing to the Americans. The religious not bowing to the secular.
The leftists to the right. And the Nachmans to everyone else. Everyone wants to
be a Mordechai. But yet no one seems to be able to gather all the Jews together
like he and Esther did. I guess we’ll need Mashiach for that.
RABBI
SCHWARTZ’S JEWISH SIDE OF THE ROAD JOKES
OF THE WEEK
A Stamford Hill policeman spots two
youngsters riding a motorcycle.
They are unmistakably hassidic: yarmulke, payoth, tsittsits, the works.
He is unmistakably a bigot, so he follows them intending to catch them doing some kind of wrong.
After a long ride during which they went onto the North Circular Road and then onto many side roads, he could find nothing wrong with their driving. Frustrated, he stops them anyway.
"I have been following you two for a long time now, watching every move you made and hoping to catch you breaking the law, but you two seem to be perfect. How do you do it?"
They replied "HaShem is with us."
"That's it!" exclaimed the policeman, "Three people on a motorcycle!"
They are unmistakably hassidic: yarmulke, payoth, tsittsits, the works.
He is unmistakably a bigot, so he follows them intending to catch them doing some kind of wrong.
After a long ride during which they went onto the North Circular Road and then onto many side roads, he could find nothing wrong with their driving. Frustrated, he stops them anyway.
"I have been following you two for a long time now, watching every move you made and hoping to catch you breaking the law, but you two seem to be perfect. How do you do it?"
They replied "HaShem is with us."
"That's it!" exclaimed the policeman, "Three people on a motorcycle!"
One afternoon, Moishe, was driving his Rolls Royce when
he passed two poor looking men by the side of the road eating grass. He quickly
stopped his car, backed up to the men, wound down his window and asked, "What
on earth are you two doing?"
"I’m starving, I have nowhere
to live and I don't have any money to buy food," said one of them.
"You can come with me to my
house, then," said Moishe.
"But I’ve got a wife and three
kids just up the road."
"So we’ll bring them along, too," replied Moishe
"And what about my
friend?"
Moishe turned to the other man and said,
"You can come with us, too."
"But, sir," said the friend, "I’ve got
a wife and six children just up the road."
"OK. So we’ll bring them as
well,"
said Moishe.
"Now get in my car, both of you."
Soon, everyone had been picked
up. They had been travelling for only a few minutes when one of the men
said to Moishe,
"You’re very kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
Moishe replied, "I’m happy to be
able to do it. And you'll love my place - the grass is almost a foot
tall."
While on a road trip, an elderly
couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal,
they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly
woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until
they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the
aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a
place to turn around — in order return to the restaurant to retrieve her
glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy
old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during
the entire return drive. The more he chided her — the more agitated he became. He
just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at
the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to
retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're
in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.
Shmuel had a bad car accident
involving a large truck. Weeks later, in court, the trucking company's fancy
lawyer was questioning Shmuel.
"Didn't you say, at the scene
of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Shmuel responded, "Vell,
I'll tell you vat happened. I just put my dog Moishele, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any
details",
the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question.
Did you not say, at the scene of the
accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Shmuel said, "Vell, I just got Moishele into the car and vas driving
down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and
said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of
the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just
fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I
believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly
interested in Shmuel's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear
what he has to say about his dog Moishele".
Shmuel thanked the Judge and
proceeded. "Vell, like I vas saying, I just loaded Moishele, my lovely
hundteleh (dog), into the car and vas driving him down the highway when this
huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the
side. I vas thrown into one ditch and Moishele vas thrown into the other. I vas
hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I heard Moishele moaning
and groaning. I knew he vas in terrible shape just by his groans. Den a Highway
Patrolman came along. He could hear Moishele moaning and groaning so he vent
over to him. After he looked at him, and saw vat terrible condition Moishele
was in, he took out his gun and shoots him between the eyes.
Den the Patrolman comes across the
road, gun still in hand, looks at me and says, "How you feeling?"
"Nu, Judge, vat vould you say?
Why did the rasha cross
the road?To get to the sidra achar.
Why did the shochet cross the road? To get the chicken.Q: Why did the ox cross the road three times? A: Because he was a MOOad
Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Do get to the udder side
Q: Why was the hired worker made to repeatedly cross the road for no apparent reason
A: Because he was a shomer sucker
Q: Why did the Bais Yaakov student cross the road?
A: There were fewer cats on the other side
Q: Why did the seminary girl cross the road?
A: Because Fro-Yo moved to a new location
Why did the Lubavitcher cross the road? To try and put tfillin on the chicken…
There vonce voz a group of
Christians who had a picnic for zer church, and zay brought with, a live
chicken. The idea was that zey were going to break ze tchicken's neck and zen
zey vould broil it on ze barbecue. A Jewish boy who happened to be standing
nearby and happened to be a vegetarian started yelling Oy Vye! Oy Vye! The
chicken got scared and ran away jumping up and perching itself on top of the
cross that the church people had brought with them.
And that explains and finally answers de famous qvestion: Vye did ze chicken rode ze cross.
And that explains and finally answers de famous qvestion: Vye did ze chicken rode ze cross.
************
Answer is A– Whoo hoo! I got this one right as
well. I was nervous as I started googling the others because Arad was founded
in 1960’s as the first development town and city after the state of Israel.
Which is technichally not a “yishuv”- settlement. But I knew Nir Am was before
the state as there is a museum there that’s about how they provided water for
the settlements founded in the Negev. Nahariya as well I knew was founded under
the British by Germans that came to Israel with a dream to plant and make the
land flourish, until they realized that it means getting dirty. And yekkehs
don’t like getting dirty. So they started the bed and breakfast industry
instead. I wasn’t sure about Holon though, but that was a city and not a
settlement as well. So I went with Arad and I was right! So the score is Schwartz 18 and 3 for MOT (Ministry
of Tourism) on this exam so far.
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