Insights and Inspiration
from
the
Holy Land
from
Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz
"Your friend
in Karmiel"
August 13th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 44 5th
Elul
Parshat Shoftim
Judges, Surgeons and Dreamers
I had a dream last
night. There were seven bowls of red, meaty chulent full of beans and potatoes with those juicy marrow bones swimming around what looked
like islands of Kishka. The simmering sound was like music of what could only
be described as Shabbos zemiros that emanated from the highest spiritual
spheres. It was a wonder. And then it happened seven skinny doctors holding
knives in one hand came in and swallowed them all up leaving in their place
seven little plastic tubs of Leben (Israel's sour cream yogurt mix that tastes
really horrible and should be banned). I woke up in a sweat. It was terrifying.
I rolled over and went back to sleep. And then I had the second dream.
This time it was no less terrifying.
I was by a Kiddush. My son-in-law Yaakov was there and he always takes care of
me. There were seven heaping plates in front of me. There was herring anc
crackers, rugelach, Yerushalmi Kugel with a pickle on the side and of course
smack in the middle was my personal favorite a nice juicy piece of Yapchik-
which is basically what they call in Hebrew "Ovehrrrnayyt"
potato kugel with a slab of beef in the middle. As I was about to dig in though
once again the incomprehensible happened. All of a sudden 7 small little spoons
of chicken broth came into the room and swallowed up the whole thing. What was
amazing was that the spoons didn't get any fatter. They just stayed the same
frail pathetic brothy color. I woke up and didn't need Yosef to interpret my
dream. It was my new reality. Hello Rabbi- Post-Gastric-Bypass- surgery
Schwartz welcome to your new life…
The truth is jokes and dreams aside
it really has been a pretty fascinating experience this whole surgery thing. I'll
admit I was a little nervous when the guy started shaving my belly. It kind of
meant this was going to be for real. Lying there on the table and being rolled
into the room, I envisioned a cow being taking to the slaughter, strapped down,
helpless, bright lights shining in my eyes. They gave me that oxygen mask and I
offered my final words of prayer and the next thing I knew I was groggy back in
my hospital room. It was over. I was born again. Thank god I really didn't have
any pain or even sores. The weird thing was that I didn't feel hungry at all.
By Thursday when they released me it had been like three days since I last ate
and frankly I really didn't feel like I needed to eat at all. As I write this
on FridayI 've had about a few spoons of that Leben stuff, a Jello cup and two
cups of chicken broth and I really do feel that I have to force myself to eat. It's
very bizarre. I'm kind of like Moshe up in heaven I don't think it will go
forty days and nights though.
Now I'll admit I've always been the
one to say that not being hungry is never an excuse not to eat. What does
hungry have to do with eating anyways? Which is probably the reason why I am
where I am today. And the truth is I certainly was eyeing that packet of wafers
on the kitchen table yesterday and I really did dream of food. But I don't know
how to explain it. It's as if this surgery put some type of switch on my brain
that is telling me. As good as it looks and might seem. You really don't want
it. You're just fine without it. It's trayf and at least for the meantime it's
working. It's kind of like what our sages tell us that during the second temple
the Rabbis got together and removed the Yetzer Hara for Idolatry. That's all it
took one little snooze under the lapscropic knife of Dr. Asaliya and it was all
gone.
I really wasn't sure if I would
write something this week or not, but so many of you E-Mailed, Whatsapped, and
even donated money and sponsorships for my refuah shlaima that really touched
me. As well I opened up the first verse of this week's Parsha and whadaya know
Hashem didn't force me to go too far to find a tie in and an incredibly
inspiring idea for myself and all of us as we enter this month of Elul.
The Parsha begins with the seemingly
grammatically incorrect commandment of the establishment of Judges and
enforcement officers.
Shoftim V'Shotrim Titein Lecha
B'Chol She'arecha- You shall place judges and
officers in all of your gates
Asher Hashem Elokecha Nosein Lecha- That Hashem your God has given you.
V'shaftu es Ha'am Mishpat Tzedek- and they will judge the nation a righteous judgement.
In English the grammatical
"error" is not noticeable because in English "you" can mean
both singular and plural. In Hebrew though, "you" singular is lecha
while "you" plural is lachem. Seemingly the commandment
here is one that is a national one. No individual can appoint judges or
officers. The end of the verse even tells us that this so they will judge the
nation. So technically speaking the verse should really read
Shoftim V'Shotrim titnu lachem
b'chol she'areichem asher Hashem Elokeichem Nosein Lachem.
From here Reb Chaim Vital, The Shela
Hakodesh and most classic Chasidic sefarim derive that the Torah in this verse
in in fact referring to each Jew individually. We each have our own personal
gates into our body and our souls and we each need to place judges and officers
that will protect ourselves and ensure that we are living just and spiritually
healthy lives.
In fact the Reb Shlomo Sobel one of the old
Yerushalmi Darshanim in his work Shloma Chadasha points out that if you take
the letter "pei" out of the word shoftim-judges and the letter
"reish" out of the word Shotrim-officers then you are left with the
words shotim and shotim- fools and fools. The Pei and the Reish spell Par which
means cow. He suggests that this is a hint to Torah. For the Talmud tells us
that one that dreams about an Ox will be blessed with children that will be
goring one another in Torah like an oxe. ( I wonder if that applies to one who
dreams about steaks… Hmmmm). He brings other places as well where we see that
cow is a euphemism used by our Rabbis for Torah. Thus if one appoints judges
and officers with Torah then it's good it not then they will be fools and
fools.
Similarly when
it comes to appointing the judges and officers over our own personal gates. The
Nesivos Shalom explains these gates in various ways. The Zohar tells us that
there are 7 gates in our face to our bodies and souls. The 2 eyes, ears and
nostrils and the mouth. Upon each of these we have to appoint both judges and
officers. The function of a judge is to determine intellectually what is the
ruling. Is this good for me, is this bad? Should I be looking at this, should I
be eating this? Is this something I should be listening to or even smelling?
Yet as we all now judges can rule from today until tomorrow what we need to do
or shouldn't be doing, but without a justice system that will enforce those
rulings there is little chance of the laws being carried out. You can beg, plead,
and have all types of information and educational campaigns about wearing masks
or getting vaccines, but at the end of the day nobody is wearing them until you
start handing out tickets. For better or for worse.
Thus we need
officers for our bodies and our gates. We need to draw red lines that we cannot
cross. They can be filters, they can be making sure not to go to certain
places, to associate with certain people. They can time spend studying and
learning the areas that we know that we are weak in. They don't have to be as
dramatic as going under the knife and knocking your stomach down to the size of
an egg. They shouldn't be as dramatic as that in fact. But we need to do
it. Our eyes, our mouths, our ears all
are at risk of seeing, talking and hearing things we know they shouldn't. We
need to appoint judges to discern those things and then the enforcers that will
make sure we are protected.
There is
another interpretation of the idea of the personal gates that we have that the
Nesivos Sholom points out. The idea of a gateway is that it is a point that we
pass through to get from point A to Point B. In time we have gateway moments as
well. Erev Shabbos is the gateway to Shabbos. Shabbos is the gateway to all of
the blessing for the entire week. As well annually. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur
are the gateways to the new Year and all of its decrees and things that will
happen to us. Elul the month we have entered this week and the week where we
always read this parsha of Shoftim is the gateway to Rosh Hashana. For it is on
this gateway of Elul that we are each commanded to appoint our own personal
judges and officers. It's a month not only of introspection when we review our
actions, our weaknesses and our failings, but one where we also begin already appointing
officers and putting measures into place to make sure that they won't occur
anymore. That we will be better. That we will become the people we want to be. The
people that sees in ourselves "Asher Hashem Elokecha nasan lach-
That Hashem has given us everything. He is our God. The gifts we have are all
his blessing. He is with us to make us better. That is the message of this
month. It's what we need to do to ensure the perfect judgement.
As I said last
week, I have a long way to go to remove all of those extra unhealthy pounds
physically and spiritually that I have to remove. But one thing is certain is
that this Elul will certainly be one for me that is more mindful than I have
ever been before. I have judges and officers all over what I'm putting in my
mouth and what is coming in my belly. It is my hope that I have the inner
personal strength to establish the personal boundaries and lines that are
necessary to continue becoming the best Hashem has made me to be. If I do and
we all do then maybe the dreams that we all will have of a better redeemed
world will finally happen.
Have a dreamy
Shabbos,
Rabbi Ephraim
Schwartz
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TANACH TOUR OF THE JEZRE"EL VALLEY
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https://mishpacha.com/the-hills-are-alive-2/
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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK
"
A dokter tor men nit vintshn a gut yor.– Never
wish a doctor a good year.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK
41)
One of the regions where the “Jesus Yoshka Trail” passes:
A)
Mount of olives
B)
Bethlehem
C)
Mount Arbel
D)
Kursi
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK
https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey -In honor of the Month
of Elul please listen and enjoy MY beautiful hartzig compostion Lulay He'amanti
that we recite each morning in this month sung and arranged by Dovid Lowy.
https://youtu.be/4U101C4rLqU
– Yaakov Shwekey another new
release this time it’s a great new song "Fighter"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUL1RCG_BDQ
– Udi Davidi
has a beautiful moving new song Ata Imadi with lyrics by Chayala Neuhaus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHErQrvvftQ – And of course you can't get into Elul without Yishai Ribbos classic Elul
song..
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE
WEEK
King Me – Parshat Shoftim- One of the
exciting mitzvos in this week's Parsha is the mitzva to establish a King.
Interestingly enough the Torah tells us this mitzva with the same introduction
as it does for a the mitzva of Bikkurim. It begins.
" Ki
Tavo- When you come to the land
which Hashem your God gives to you to inherit it and to settle in it and
you will say I will place on me a king like all of the nations that are around
me.
The parsha of
bringing the first fruit is the beginning of Parshat Ki Tavo starts the same
way but there though there is the addition of one word V'haya Ki tavo and it
will be when you will come… We noted last week that the terminology of "it
will be" is a language of simcha and joy. The difference between the two
laws therefore would be what your intention of coming to Israel is for. If one
comes to bring their first fruits to Hashem, to recognize that all we have is
from His hand, His blessing then it is a moment of simcha when we come to
Israel.
On the other
hand, if we are coming to Israel because we want to have a country and leaders
like everyone else in the world. Sadly, in that scenario there won't be so much
simcha or joy.
But the truth
is that even if that is our intent it won't make a difference, the Torah tells
us. For the mitzva is
To place a king
upon you that Hashem your God will choose from amongst your brethren you shall
place upon you as king.
Our King
inevitably will not be one that is inspired by the goyim around us, rather it
will be one that Hashem selects for us. And even if we don't want it won't help
because.
Lo tuchal
laseis alecha ish nochri asher lo achicha hu- you will not be able to place upon you a stranger who
is not from your brothers.
Eretz Yisrael
is a land that is meant for us to come to reveal Hashem's glory. It needs a
king down here and leader that will correspond and direct the nation to the
King up in heaven. The power of Eretz Yisrael though is that even if you don't
get that before you come here and you come with purely secular intentions.
Ultimately after arriving Hashem tells us that we will see the light. His
light. And we will understand that we will be unable to settle for anything
less than the Melech Malchei Hamelachim here on this world.
This month that
King is in the field with us. By the time Rosh Hashana comes around in a few
weeks may we merit to inaugurating Mashiach ben Dovid on his palace in
Yerushalayim.
RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE
WEEK
Sheva ben
Bichri and Amassah- 840 BC – Dovid is back
home in Yerushalayim he has united the tribe of Yehudah behind him and the
tribes of Israel as well had joined Dovid. Yet being that Yehudah only came
after the other tribes, the tribe of Binyamin felt that they were being usurped
once again by Yehudah who had only come late to the game. In this seemingly
petty fight and argument enters one Sheva ben Bichri who renews the call that
Dovid is an illegitimate King. Perhaps even his name Sheva is meant to connote
the sin of Batsheva that he is reminding them of. The prophet had said Dovid
would be usurped. Avshalom failed, so he obviously wasn't the who the Navi was
reffering to. It was time for them all to join again and rebel and get rid of
Dovid. And as quickly as Dovid returned to office, he was once again beset with
putting down a new challenge to his kingship.
Dovid who was
seemingly still broygez at Yoav over his killing of Avshalom had appointed
Avshalom's former general Yoav's cousin Ammasa as his general and he told him
to take three days to marshal all of the Jews together to fight against Sheva's
army which consisted of all of the tribes of Israel besides Yehuda. Ammasa
however delayed. According to the Midrash he didn't want to disturb the Jews
who were learning in Beit Midrash to come fight right away. After three days
Dovid then calls Avishai, Yoav's younger brother and sends him out with Yoav to
fight.
They arrive at
the large stone in Givon. Biblical
Givon is located just north of Nebi Samuel where I
like to tell this story as the the Palestinian village under Area B on the
other side of separation fence. In the 1950’s there were wine vessels that
actually dated back to the time of Yehoshua that said Givon on it. As well the
arab name Al- Jib is reminiscent of the city name. And in fact the
ancient pool is still there. Today there is jewish yishuv called Givon
Hachadasha next to the Kfar. Yet it's very possible that the large stone
which was like a bama- a high place of worship was not in Givon but overlooking
Givon which this is a high place that does see that that even has a large
carved rock there.
By
this rock Yoav spots Ammasa and he drops his sword and pretends to be coming to
him unarmed. Ammasa sees him and Yoav then gives him a big hug grabbing
his beard and then sticks his sword into his 5th rib and pretty much
rips out his kishkas. Kind of like a gastric bypass surgery with a lot more
blood and guts being disembowelled. When the other soldiers see this they are
aghast at Yoav's action and the site of their former general all bloody.
So they cover him up and then continue the pursuit of Sheva to the top of the
north of Israel to Avel Beth Ma'acha laying siege on the city.
This
act of Yoav is one more that shows his disregard for Dovid's command and that
will come back to haunt him. The lesson of Yoav is an important one that the
Navi keeps repeating to us. Sometimes the talmidim or the chasidim make the
fight of their Rebbi or master a personal one. They take it to places that the
Rebbi never wanted it to go. That Hashem didn't want it to go. It is religious
piety gone haywire and it is dangerous. Yoav will pay the price for these acts.
Stay tuned next week for the battle against Sheva that will be one in an
incredible way.
RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE SURGERY JOKES
OF THE WEEK
Why do all the
patients love the surgeon who is also a stand-up comic? He leaves them in
stitches.
Where did the
British surgeon safeguard the organs from his donors? He kept them in
Liverpool.
Why does everyone look up to surgeons who successfully
help people lose weight? What they do takes guts.
Why does everyone
love cardiac surgeons? They touch so many people's hearts.
How do most surgeons get so wealthy? They take a cut
after every successful surgery!
How did a junior surgeon get entry into a prestigious
medical conference? He made the cut.
Where do plastic surgeons source all of the new noses
from? They buy them from the olfactory.
What did the nurse tell the surgeon when he asked her how
the girl who swallowed some coins was doing? We haven't seen any change yet.
Why was one patient so relieved after his brain surgery?
He had said that he wasn't sure about getting brain surgery, but then the
doctor helped him change his mind.
Why was the
surgeon screaming "Typhoid, Measles, Tetanus!" in the hospital
hallway? He liked to call the shots.
What would a surgeon say if a patient demanded that he
close his own wound? Fine, suture self
Doctor Greenberg was checking his schedule two hours
before his shift was over to see how many operations he had left. "Five
done, tumor to go", muttered the doctor when he saw the sheet on site!
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of
a Harley motorcycle when he spotted his cardiologist – Dr. Simon Goldstein in
his shop. Dr. Goldstein was there waiting for the service manager to come take
a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey
Doc, want to take a look at this?"
Goldstein, a bit surprised, walked over to where the
mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his
hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its
heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and
when I finish, it works just like new."
"So how come I make such a small salary – and you
get the really big bucks? You and I are doing basically the same work!"
Dr. Goldstein paused, smiled and leaned over, then
whispered to the mechanic, ''Try doing it with the engine running."
It's 10pm when the phone rings in Dr. Minkofsky's house.
"It's Dr. Gold," says his wife, passing him the phone,
"I do hope it's not another emergency."
Dr. Minkofsky takes the phone and says, "Hi,
what's up?"
"Don't worry, everything's OK," replies Dr. Gold. "It's
just that I'm at home with Dr. Lewis and Dr. Kosiner. We're having a little
game of poker and we're short of one hand so we thought you might like to come
over and join us?"
"Sure .... yes, of course," replies Dr. Minkofsky, putting
on a serious voice, "I'm leaving right now." And he puts down
the phone.
"What's happened?" his wife asks, with a worried look.
"It's very serious," Dr. Minkofsky
replies. "They've already called three doctors."
*********************************
Answer is C- I got this wrong. I don't know if I
should take that a badge of honor or not. The truth is I really was debating
about the right answer. See, I knew that the trail was in the Galile. It was
one of the beautiful things about the Sanhedrin trail that was established in
the same area. Why do we as a Jewish country need to sell goyish bubbeh
maysehs despite the Christian pilgrimage dollars that it brings in when we
are here to inspire them about the reality of holiness and the teachings of our
sages. So knowing that I knocked out Bethlehem and Mt. Of Olives which are
obviously not in this area. I was going to go with Mt. Arbel because that is in
this area, but since I didn't know any yoshka stories there- and there really
aren't- So I went with Kursi which is on the other side of the Kinneret and
there was some miracle with wild pigs that they made up took place there. Turns
out I was wrong and the correct answer was Arbel. Oh well… There goes my
streak. But If I had to break my streak at least it was on a Christian question
and not on anything really important. So the score is 32 for Rabbi Schwartz and 9
for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.
...
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