Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Friday, August 6, 2021

The Last Chulent- Parshat Re'eh 5781 /2021

 

Insights and Inspiration

                                                                       from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

August 6th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 43 28th Av

Parshat Re'eh

The Last Chulent

(Check out the link to my latest Mishpacha tour article below!)

                                                                              

There a few life-changing Shabossos that one has in their lives. In my life there are a few that will always stand out. The first of course was my Bar Mitzva Shabbos. It doesn't really get more life-changing than that. In one weekend I was transformed from a boy to someone who was supposed to start behaving like a man. I don't know if that ever really happened, so perhaps it's more accurate to say that I became responsible for my actions, my sins, my mitzvos, my obligations at least as far as heaven was concerned. Life-changing. I was no longer the same person as I was before that.

 Fast forward from that Shabbos about 10 years or so and I stood up there at the Bima again and they pelted me with candies as they did 10 years prior. This was my Shabbos Aufruf or Shabbat Chatan as they call it here. The coming week I would be a married man. Life would no longer just be about me. I would now have somebody else in my life to worry about me… I mean to worry about them J… It was heavy. It was intense. My bachelor party days were over. And despite being a fairly frum yeshiva guy I had an awfully good time.  I learned in Lakewood … remember. Would I ever have fun again? Would I frum out? Am I really capable of being there emotionally, materially, spiritually for another person? For her? It was scary and certainly life-changing. Schwartzy the yeshiva guy's life was certainly over.

 The next two Shabbosos really go together. The first was the Shabbos that my wife told me that she was pregnant a year or so after we were married. That was scary. This marriage thing was for real now. We officially have baggage now if it doesn't work out. Not that there were any problems, questions, doubts or surprises for me that first year. There never is any Shana Rishona which is always idyllic…. Uh huh. Remember that Yonah and Batya. But this was terrifying. There's going to be someone in my life that I'm supposed to be a role model for. That is supposed to look up to me. That I will probably have to pay a lot of money for therapy for if I mess up. When I met Shani for the first time it was even scarier. Because she was so cute and so precious. What did she do wrong in a previous life to get stuck with a Dad like me?

 When Yonah came along- and he was actually born on Shabbos it was even more scary. His Bris was on Shabbos and I'll never forget thinking what a precious gift Hashem has entrusted me with. Does He really know what he's doing leaving this precious little neshoma in my hand? My mother asked the same question by the way when she saw him… But the truth is Thank God for my wife who was and is really good at this parenting thing. And therapy really isn't as expensive as I had thought anyways. So it all turned out good.

 Yet of all of the life-changing Shabboses in my life this Shabbos is perhaps the most dramatic and terrifying for me. See, all the other ones were really emotional or status changing life transitions that came with new and different expectations, hopes and dreams. This Shabbos though is the first in my life where my life will be changing physically in a real significant way. It is the Shabbos that I have aptly named the Shabbos of the Last Chulent.

 Now I know that sounds very melodramatic. And it is. But that 's the way that I deal with things. You see, this coming Tuesday I will be going under the knife – laparoscopically of course, just continuing to be melodramatic- and having the gastric bypass stomach surgery, something I made fun of for years and that I swore I could never see myself doing. Well you know how they say that someday you're going to have to eat those words. Well it seems, that words are pretty much the only thing I'm going to be eating for a while.  Now I know that I will eventually be able to eat chulent and even most other things eventually once again in a lot of months or year, but it won't be the same. What the surgery does is pretty much leave you with a stomach the size of about an egg. From what I have heard from most of the people I have spoken to that have done it, after a half a piece of gefilte fish, a few spoons of soup, a half a drumstick or a wing or two and a sliver of kugel and a spoon or two of farfel they feel stuffed. One guy told me that after a quarter of a small bowl of chulent he feels like he ate two shwarmas. I told him that I can easily knock off three, Fuggedabout, the three of four platefuls of chulent I can easily put down on a Shabbos… And that's after the salatim soaked up with half a loaf of Challa, kugels, liver and what's for dessert thank-you-very-much. Yes, this is going to be life-changing.

 Before Corona I never really felt the need for this surgery. The truth is I never really felt that my overweight-ness or obesity hampered me at all. I was touring and running around the country every day. I was active climbing, hiking and running all over the place. Sure I knew that it was a health risk and that certainly I have plenty of lousy genes in my family that increased my risk of things I don't even want to think about and pretty much ignored. Yet, I felt fine and I was young right? At least at heart and in spirit. And the truth is I still feel that way, except that now it's only in spirit. The body has become a drag and it's not fun. And after a few friends of mine underwent scary health stuff- and they're in twice the better shape than I am- I realized the time had finally come. My eating life was over. I had nice long 50 year run and probably ate more chulent than most people have in three lifetimes.

 I know what you're thinking. Why don't you just go a diet. Uh huh… Been there- done that. I probably lost more weight in my life then my whole family weighs put together and Shani is due any day now IYH… Losing weight is easy I've done it a million times. The problem is that after you hit that plateau and nothing is coming off anymore and you still have plenty to go and you're still crunching on those carrots and passing up on the Pizza it just feels like a "waist" of time- pun intended. It's time for something dramatic. And so this Shabbos will be my last "real" Shabbos meal for a long time; at least as I have defined it until now. With my urging my wife of course has been cooking all week.

 Now as I always do at this point in the week, I open up the Torah portion and check out Hashem's always timely message that he has for me. It's why we have Parshat Ha'Shavua, to look in the Torah and read what Hashem feels we need to hear this week. And what do you know. This week's Torah portion providentially enough is probably the one with the biggest menu in the Torah. The Parsha which begins with Moshe urging us to take life seriously by looking at the blessing and curse that Hashem has laid out for us when we either follow or alternatively god forbid disobey the Torah quickly moves to the dramatic change that occurs to our our nation when we come to the land of Israel.

 However, in every desire of your soul, you may slaughter and eat meat in all your cities, according to the blessing of the Lord, your God, which He gave you; the unclean and the clean may eat thereof, as of the deer, and as of the gazelle.

 In the wilderness we could only eat sacrificial meat. In the holy land we can slaughter and redeem sacrifices that have been blemished and eat them. It then continues and tells us that really any Kosher meat can be eaten.

 When Hashem, your God, expands your boundary, as He has spoken to you, and you say, "I will eat meat," because your soul desires to eat meat, you may eat meat, according to every desire of your soul. If the place the Lord, your God, chooses to put His Name there, will be distant from you, you may slaughter of your cattle and of your sheep, which the Lord has given you, as I have commanded you, and you may eat in your cities, according to every desire of your soul.

 There's a lot of desire there it seems for the Torah and the Torah in fact sanctions and blesses it. This is in fact the verse in the Torah that is the source for the commandment to slaughter animals.  But it's not just steaks, burgers and shwarmas that the parsha concerns itself this week. It gets into the kosher birds we can eat and even the delicious fish with fins and scales that we can have with chrain and mayonnaise before we eat our chicken soup with juicy chicken pipiklach in them and of course those turkey cold cuts. Yeah… This week is the Parsha of the last Schwartz supper and Hashem has prepared a menu for me to remember.

 Yet as I read this menu, I think to myself how incredible our Torah and Judaism is. Our religion, the blessing and our lives are built around food. The first sin of Adam was eating the wrong thing and as our job in this earth is to rectify that sin by eating only that which is permitted to us. While we are in the wilderness before coming to the land of Israel we could only do that through partaking in sacrifices that had been consecrated; at least if you wanted to eat flayshigs- and who are we fooling that's the only real type of meal that counts. Upon coming into Israel we have become so elevated that our bellies themselves are like temples and altars. Our desire for food and meat is like that of the Mizbayach, it is as the desire of Hashem is for sacrifices.

 I'm reminded of the story of one of the Chasidic Rebbis (maybe it was the Tolner?) that before 1948 would regularly got to Kever Rachel and pour out his heart to Hashem in the merit of Mama Rachel. Yet after we lost access to it in the war of independence he was no longer able to come. When in 1967 it was once again liberated and Israeli control, the Rebbi returned with all of his chasidim for the first time in 19 years. Before entering though the Rebbi told his students to set up a large table laden with all the best delicacies for the Tish that he would hold before entering. He explained to his perplexed Chasidim that he did this because every Jewish child know that there is nothing that gives a Jewish Mother ore nachas then feeding her children and knowing that they are well-fed. My mother always particularly pleased with me it seems. Similarly, Hashem desires that we eat well. And if we do so and appreciate our body as one that is giving pleasure to Hashem in our eating then we have truly joined heaven and earth in the holiest way.

 At the same time though this Parsha of food gives us one major warning that it repeats as well.

 However, be strong not to eat the blood, for the blood is the soul; and you shall not eat the soul with the flesh.

 Frankly I do like my meat a little on the rare side. It's best when it's a juicy steak. Yet blood is something I really do not have a desire for. Interestingly enough Rashi brings two opinions about this blood prohibition that the Torah seems to feel the need to accentuate to us with the extra heeding of "Be strong". The opinion of Rebbi Yehudah is that the Jews have a natural propensity for foreign cuisine. We have kosher Italian, French, Indian, Japanese, Chinese and even Vietnamese restaraunts and that's on one block alone in Flatbush, Monsey and Lakewood Ir Hakodesh. In Israel they even have Ethiopian restaraunts although I don't know why. I thought there were just starving people there that would die if I didn't finish what was on my plate. So in the same way the gentiles back then ate blood food and Hashem was warning us not to get sucked into or start sucking on that to be precise.

 Rebbi Shimon Ben Azzai though tells us that most people don't like blood, the Torah is using this as an extreme example to teach us that if for the not eating of blood which we have no natural desire for we have to be careful, how much more so do we have to be careful about observing commandments that we have a natural predilection to violate.

The Gaon of Vilna though and his student Reb Chaim Volozhin though see in the end of the verse the essence of the Torah's exhortation. We should be careful not to eat our "souls" with our "flesh". Food can become an obsession. Food is meant to bring and raise our souls up however if we become to engrossed in the desire-desire-desire that the Torah repeats in permitting and even blessing us with its consummation than we can easily slide down that gastrointestinal tract to swallowing our souls up with the steaks. It becomes just about the food. It becomes just about my pleasure. We've forgotten that it's an offering to Hashem we are sanctifying. We're fressing like the Goyim according to Rebbi Yehuda, and according to Rebbi Shimon this can happen with all of the Mitzvos that we do that we enjoy as well. It's about us. It's about our belly and enjoyment and the fun and the deliciousness of it all. It's become feel-good Judaism and rather than the Feel- God Judaism it's meant to be.

 When I had my initial consultation with the surgeon he asked me if I felt that I could keep the eating regimen that the post-operation lifestyle would entail; basically eating really tiny portions of nothing for the rest of my life. I told him that of course I didn't. If I felt that I had the self-control on my own to keep that type of diet long term than I wouldn't do the surgery in the first place. The reason why I was doing the surgery was because from what I understood that once you did it you really were unable to "pack it in" like I do now. But the truth is, I told the doctor. I always intellectually and perhaps even spiritually wanted to be the person that could slowly eat and taste their food, chewing on each bite slowly and savoring the tastes and flavors of each smile bite and enjoying it and being satisfied with that, rather than just inhaling my plate as I do today. It's my hope that this process will enable me to become that type person. A person who is not swallowing his soul, but is living and appreciating Hashem and His goodness in every bite that He blesses us with. To truly experience V'Achalta, V'Savata u'veirachta- to eat even a mere kzayis and feel satisfied with it enough to thank Hashem for.

We enter the month of Elul this Shabbos. It's a month when we begin to engage in the process of teshuva. The Torah describes that work as one of being U'maltem es orlas livavchem- to circumcise the foreskin of our hearts. Our hearts are pure. We've got lots of build-up on them; a lot of extra weight that we need to remove. Our spiritual arteries are getting clogged up. I have a long way to go until I get to the spiritual heart operation, yet perhaps by starting with what's on my plate every day and elevating each bite, just as my physical heart's chances for a healthy life will be much better, my spiritual hearts will as well. As this is my first surgery ever in my life if you can keep my name Ephraim Ben Esther Baila in your prayers this coming Tuesday it would mean a lot to me. Also don't get nervous if you don't hear from me next week… I might take a brief recovery hiatus.

 Have a deliciously healthy Shabbos and spiritually healthy Rosh Chodesh Elul

 Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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WE'RE BACK IN MISHPACHA MAGAZINE AGAIN!!!

Check out Rabbi Schwartz'es latest

TANACH TOUR OF THE JEZRE"EL VALLEY

Read and see the great stories of the books of the prophets come alive in this amazing tour

https://mishpacha.com/the-hills-are-alive-2/

 

While you're at it be sure to catch up on all of my videos over there and other amazing tours you may have missed

https://mishpacha.com/contributors/rabbi-ephraim-schwartz/

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Faran dareh gvirim un fetch oremeleit.." – There are plenty of riche people that are skinny and poor ones that are fat.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

40) The beginning of Torah reading every year is in:

A) Rosh Hashana

B) Yom Kippur

C) Simchat Torah

D) Celebration of giving of the Torah – Shavuot

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://youtu.be/pMEWEC9UfQk   – Check out this fantastic Sampler video of my dear friend and arranger Dovid Lowy (who sang by Yonah's wedding) for his latest Acoustic album. Awesome!! I've been listening to the album all week…

https://youtu.be/Cb5_V11Uauk    Yaakov Shwekey's got a new exciting video out this week as well. Yavo Ha'Yom- He really is the king of cool videos that tell a story and brings the song to life.

 

https://youtu.be/DPF7oV8vCBo - Ari Goldwag though is certainly the king of the funnest Jewish music videos with so many having over a million hits. Get in early on this latest one Yesh Li Ha'Kol…

 

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/mi-adir    -  And for those of you that missed last week. Here's my Son Yonah's composition that was played for his Chuppa…beautiful Mi Adir aung and arranged by Dovid Lowy!

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

The Blessing of the Curse – Parshat Re'eh- There is a famous rule our Rabbis tell us that Eretz Yisrael is only acquired with tribulations- yissurim. There's no such thing as an easy Aliyah. There will always be challenges. In fact, it's not only Eretz Yisrael, but our sages tell us that there were three things that were given to us as a present however they were only given with yissurim and that list includes Torah and Olam Ha'bah- the world to come. The question of course begs itself of why is this necessary. What type of gift is it if Hashem tells us that he's going to give us all types of pains and troubles to receive it.

 The truth is that very question as well applies to the first verse in this week's parsha which as well as last week repeatedly talks about the specialness of our holy Land and the gift, inheritance and final resting place it will serve for our nation. The Parsha begins with Moshe telling us

 "Re'eh hinei anochi nosein lifneyche hayom bracha v'klala- See that I give before you today blessing and curse.

 The bracha is if we listen to the mitzvos and commandments and if we don't listen it will be a curse. The question is though once again the terminology of "giving you" seems like it would be a present and what type of present is a curse.

 The answer though is that the curse and the tribulations are as well all blessing and they are the means of us being able to receive the gifts Hashem has for us. A gift's value is always predicated on the receiver's appreciation of it. For example if someone gives a vegetarian a nice delicious juicy steak or a good big bowl of meaty chulent it won't really do anything for them. If one gives an adult a new set of lego, if one gives a child a set of Shas or a large set of books as well, they want to know if they can have the receipt to return it. Yet if one gave me the steak, or the sefarim I would be delighted. It would be amazing!

 Similarly Eretz Yisrael, Torah and the World to Come are such lofty spiritual gifts that unless we are on the proper spiritual maturity level they would be meaningless to us. So what Hashem does is that he builds us up. He gives us yissurim- he makes it difficult. We have to work for us. We have to receive the curse and see Hashem in that and still persevere, still say we want it, still sing Ani Maamin. Recite the words that King David writes that we will begin reciting every day this month.

 Achas Sho'alti Me'eis Hashem- I have one request from You Hashem.

Shivti B'veis Hashem Kol Yemei Chayai- All I want is to dwell within Your home my entire life.

 Each time we say this. Each time we overcome the challenges before us we grow higher and higher spiritually and our appreciation of that great present of Eretz Yisrael, Torah, and the Wrold to come becomes greater and greater.

 Thus Moshe tell us that we should look at the tremendous gifts Hashem has given us through the blessing and the curse. The blessing is of course the land and the curse that he gives us raises us up to appreciate it and receive it on the highest levels. So when you move here and if you are already here keep this idea in mind. All of the blessing and curses you experience here are from Him. It's just making our present greater and greater.                                                                                                             

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Dovid Reconciles- 840 BC A good leader is one who is willing to put his personal agenda's aside and one who recognizes that his job is to unite and bring together the people and nation he represents. The failures of most political leaders is when they are furthering their own self-interests instead. Dovid exemplifies putting the people first and particularly as he brings together the nation.

 His first move is to send word to his own tribe that with Avshalom's downfall it was time for them to welcome him back and take their fellow landsman back as their King. Sure enough they came around. As well he took Ammasah who had been Yoav's general and replaced Yoav with him making him the new general and in effect pardoning him for his part in the rebellion. This would of course raise consternation in Yoav and eventually would lead to both of their downfalls.

 Next on the list was Shimi'I ben Geira who came with Ziva and Mepiboshes, Shaul's servant and his son and 1000 Benjaminites. They as well implored Dovid to forgive them. Shimi'i. explained away his dissent by stating that it was his impression that Dovid had lost the kingdom because of his sin and it was his obligation to back up Avshalom. Mepiboshes told Dovid that he wanted to come but he was tricked by Ziva who told him that he shouldn't come and being a cripple he had no way of getting there. Dovid assured both of them that he would not avenge himself on them. Although in Mepiboshes's case he does give half his possessions to Ziva, because he was still skeptical of his intentions. For this, the midrash tells us, Dovid's kingdom itself will eventually be divided after Shlomo's rule. Don't listen to Lashon Hara is the lesson here.

 Dovid as well rewards the son of Barzilai Ha'Giladi and brings him back to Jerusalem with him. With Dovid's return the Jewish people rally around him. However like most good things in Dovid's life it doesn't last for long. Next week we discuss the next rebellion of Sheva ben Bichri. 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAT AND SKINNY JOKES OF THE WEEK

Berel the portly chasid walks out of a big Shul Kiddush and turns to his skinny friend Yanky who just arrived and says: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
Without blinking an eye Yanky responds  "when they look at you, they know why"

What did the skinny cow shed farmer say to his wife? I need to whey more

As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.

My wife turned to me the other day and said, "You are so skinny.". Then she grabbed me by the love handles and said, "Just look at all this skin.

I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man...I am trans-fat.

I also  have a morbidly obese friend, but he identifies as skinny. He’s trans slender

What do you call a skinny Palestinian cow? A moo-slim

Everyone in my family has extremely skinny legs, so we all have to have our pants custom made. It's terribly expensive. It's those lousy skinny genes.

My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too."

"Not when you're on a see-saw with them," he said

Rachel told Leah that she decided to go on a diet. That evening when she called, Leah could hear that her mouth was full, so she asked what her sister was eating.

"A cupcake," Rachel mumbled.

“I thought you just started your diet,” said Leah.

"I did. But I got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it off to 150."

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live a long life. What should I do?"

"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"

"Oh.. Half a pack a day."

"Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.

The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"

"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."

 "Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."

The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"

 "Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."

 "Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."

 The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?"

"Do you want to live long?" "Yes." "Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet."

The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"

The doctor replies "I have no idea, but however long you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!

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Answer is C- This one is a freebie for any frum tour guide and the truth is even secular Israelis generally should know the answer to this question, although I wouldn't be surprised if some got this wrong. Now what this has to tour guiding, I have no idea… but I'll take the freebie. So Simchas Torah is of course the correct answer. If you didn't know that, it's time to go back to school…or yeshiva.  So the score is 32 for Rabbi Schwartz and 8 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

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