Karmiel

Karmiel
Our view of the Galile

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Nutty Twin Lives- Parshat Ki Tavo- 5781 /2021

Insights and Inspiration

                                                                       from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 "Your friend in Karmiel"

August 27th 2021 -Volume 11 Issue 46 19th Elul

Parshat Ki Tavo

Nutty Twin Lives

(Dear Friends and Readers please don't skip over our annual Appeal after this E-Mail below. It's been a challenging year and we could use your support!)

 "So what should we call your new little brothers?" I asked my grandson Yoliyahoo this week as my daughter came home with her new twins that were born B'H this past Sunday morning.

"Chulent & Kugel" he told me without even blinking. 

That's what they call true yiddisheh "Zaydie Schwartz" nachas. Ahhhh Baruch Hashem despite my fears that post-surgery the passionate Schwartz connection and tradition would fade, a new generation has arisen to the task. Even at the young age of three he knows that the possibly the most beloved names he could come up with for his newest siblings would be the two greatest things in the world. I don't have my hopes up though that these temporary names will stick after the Bris though. Ahh well… I'll enjoy my new chulent and kugels as long as I can.

 There's really nothing like being a grandfather. It's just nachas. Someone in shul told me this week that if you have one grandson then that makes you into a Saba. If you're daughter has twins though then you are Sababa. I certainly feel Sababa and blessed this week, this month and yes even this year. I was thinking yesterday morning as I was reciting my twice daily Psalm that we recite every morning and afternoon of L'Dovid Hashem Ori- that Hashem is my light. There is one sentence there that we say that also has become the lyrics to so many songs

 Achas sho'alti me'eis Hashem oso avakesh- I ask one thing from Hashem this is what I request.

Shivti B'vais Hashem kol yemei chayai- to sit in the house of Hashem all of the days of my life

 I've been saying this for many years, but wasn't sure it would ever be for real or if I really meant and appreciated. I liked my job, I liked running around with with tourists all day, all over the country. Did I really want to go back to my Kollel days of just sitting down in the Bais Midrash and learning all day? Well it seems that Hashem listened to my request last year and I'm glad to say that it's really been amazing. Life changing in many ways. Don't worry I still want to go back to work and hope you guys are able to tour with me again soon. But in the meantime it really has been a year of blessing.

 This is the time of year when we are meant to review our past year and think about the blessings that we Hashem has given us. Our Parsha begins with the Jew that comes to Israel and his obligation to recite to the Kohen his gratitude to Hashem for the first fruits that have sprouted. It is an amazing process if you think about it. The Mishna describes how this simple farmer, our kibbutznik named Dudu from some place in the Galil makes his way to Jerusalem. The entire city comes out to greet him, along with his friends from the Kibbutz. He feels like a king. He goes up to the Temple Mount and there is a choir singing and orchestra playing. He is greeted with fanfare and he meets the Kohen himself personally and after all of the traditional formalities "how are you? How's the family? The Kibbutz? What's been happening since the last time we met? He then presents the Kohen with some juicy pomegranates that he's so proud of, the first ones to grow and then he recites the whole 10 verses of gratitude and of what it means to be a Jew in Israel and descendant of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, from a nation that witnessed miracles as we left Egypt to the privilege we have of living in this land of Milk and Honey. It doesn't get too much more awesome than that. It's real face-time with the King. And every Jew gets to experience this.

 Our Parsha also contains in the something else that happens to us as soon as we came into the land. Our first stop was not to the Kotel. Rather as we crossed the Jordan River we headed straight up to the heart of the West Bank to the city of Shechem where we stood between the two mountains and we heard the blessings and curses that will take place if we observe or G-d forbid violate the commandments. We have reached the end zone. We're home and life here counts. It has eternal meaning. It's where we are meant to bring the light of Hashem down to the world to and shine it out from. If we do the job, then all the blessing of Hashem will descend if we don't then it won't. Dudu, our farmer gets that now. If he'd be living in Kansas, Oklahoma, or Boro Park his job really isn't important enough to grant him a visit to the Temple Mount like Dudu did. Even though he's got lots of money, has started many chesed organizations, and built many yeshivos. Even if he's taught a lot of Torah. He hasn't grown a pomegranate in Israel. He maybe be alive but he's really not living. It's only when we get here that we get to choose life.

 I've noted this idea before but with the birth of twins this week I've been thinking a bit about the idea of two lives. When you have one child, unfortunately most of us take it for granted it's just the way of the world; people have children. Sure, we're nervous the whole pregnancy and during the childbirth that everything should go well. As well, when a couple first gets married we all daven and they get nervous every month that they're not yet pregnant- at least in our blessed frum world where anxious parents eyes and neighbors are already looking to celebrate the next simcha. We're extremely grateful when the child is born healthy with all its fingers and toes in place. But at the end of the day, it really is the way of the world.

 When someone has twins though it's like a bonus! Cool! Amazing! Double Mazel Tov! BOGOF as they say Buy-one-get-one-free. Echad ploos Echad here in Israel. It's the unexpected extra whole new life that has come down to this world at the same time as the expected one did. To a large degree that simcha is really what the joy of Judaism that our Parsha repeatedly tells us we are meant to experience is all about.

There really is no word for a singular life in Lashon Hakodesh. The word Chayim is plural. It means lives X 2. There is this world and the next. There is the physical and material life that we can see and experience and then there is a whole spiritual world that is out there, where our smallest acts have eternal impact in the heavenly spheres. Now I know that some of you are thinking that Chai is life- but it's not. Chai means living. It's a verb. Life in Judaism is always twins. It's always got an added bonus component to it.

 On Rosh Hashana we will regularly be adding in prayers for life in our Shmona Esrei Amida that we recite; Zachreinu L'Chaim- remember us for life. We will be asking to written in the Sefer Ha'Chayim the book of life. We are not asking Hashem that he doesn't kill us this year. We are not merely asking that we be alive next year. We are asking and praying that he give us chayim. We want twins. We want all the material blessings that a physical life requires and that we have the spiritual gifts and inspiration for a holy life this coming year.

 There's an interesting custom mentioned in the Shulchan Aruch that we don't eat nuts on Rosh Hashana. One of the reasons given is because Egoz- the word for nut in Hebrew is the same gematria as the word for sin- Cheit. You've heard this before I'm sure. But have any of you ever tried to do the math here? According to my calculations Egoz is spelled Aleph=1 gimmel=3 vav=6 and zayin= 7 total comes to 17. Cheit on the other hand is Chet= 8 tet= 9 and aleph = 1 that would total 18. Hmmmm. I know that some will say that when you're off by one in a gematria then it doesn't make a difference. Someone else once told me that it was because we wanted to stay away from even anything close to a sin. But there's gotta be something better than that to keep me away from pistachios after the meal. (although there are those that say it's really only walnuts or hazelnuts that are prohibited and are called egoz- pistachios are fine and certainly peanuts which aren't even real nuts shouldn't be a problem…neither are doughnuts by the way.)

Perhaps even more perplexing is sin is the gematria of 18 which is as we all know the same as Chai- life1 Maybe we should eat the nuts and perhaps even sin as it’s a good segula for life. The answer though as we said is that we are not asking for Chai on Rosh Hashana. We ask for chayim-twins. A singular life is not what we are looking for. Maybe that's why yeshiva guys don't wear Chai necklaces. In fact, someone who is just davening for chai is in fact the same gematria as sin. You're making a mistake. We're not asking to merely exist. We're asking for a blessed and holy Jewish life. We're asking for that to be in Eretz Yisrael. We're asking for it to be with Mashiach.

 The Chasam Sofer suggests another reason why we don't eat nuts on Rosh Hashana. He points out that in Shir Hashirim Hashem is compared to one coming to the Ginas Ha'Egoz- the nut orchard. He explains that the Jewish people are compared to a nut. Just as a nut might be hard and dirty on the outside shell when it rolls around the dirt, yet the nut inside is delicious and protected. So too the Jewish people. When we are in exile we may pick up some of their shmutz but our inner soul is always pure and good. He quotes the verse in Vayikra in the other tochacha in the Torah where Hashem says "V'af gam zos b'eretz oivehem lo me'astim- even when we are in the nations lands Hashem will not become disgusted by us. The first letters of V'Af G'am Z'os spell Egoz. We're nuts.

 Thus on Rosh Hashana, he explains, despite the fact that nuts recall the indomitable, untainted holy spirit of the Jew, yet on Rosh Hashana we don’t want to recall even the external shmutz we have picked up in the lands of galus. On the day of judgement when we are asking for life, we want to recall only the entirely holy lives that we pray Hashem grants us here in Eretz Yisrael. Simcha L'Artzecha V'Sason L'irecha- happiness in our land and the joy in our city.

 It is that awareness that our kibbutznik Dudu has when he comes to the land and sees his first fruit blossom. He has done holy work here. He has achieved both the material and spiritual blessing of our forefathers. He had twins. May the newest twins Chulent and Kugel herald in a year full of blessing and chayim for all of us as we rejoice in Yerushalayim with Mashiach. I'll try to put in a good word for all of us with Eliyahu Hanavi this Sunday when I see him at the Brisses.

 Have a doubly amazing Shabbos,

 Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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HIGH HOLIDAY APPEAL 5782

 What an incredible year we have had! Full of action, Inspiration, Simchas and and Insights for these fascinating times we are living in. Thank you all for reading, for commenting and for sponsoring. It has been an honor to be part of your weekly reading and inspiration!

 As High Holidays roll around, I'm sure you all have your local shuls, organizations and charities that you support. It's admirable and a Mitzva and I'm sure we don't rank high on your list… It's fine. We know that your own organizations should come first.

Yet if somehow you can find a way to assist us here as well, it would truly be appreciated. This past Corona year has been more challenging than other financially for our Shul and Organization. Our annual in shul appeals that we held each year before Purim and during our daily prayers- which has seen a trememdous down turn since the pandemic began for many members that can't attend- have dropped tremendously. While our basic expenses- Rent, Electricity, cleaning, Kiddush and programs have continued. In a nutshell it's been a difficult year financially, and as you can imagine as I've as well have not had a lot of tourist income coming in this year to cover the costs that I usually am able to.

 Soooo… if you can find it in your hearts to make a contribution and become a partner in our work here, it would be greatly appreciated. Every donation helps and as much as you can give will be meaningful to us. Your support helps us pay for our shul and community which B'"h has helped bring close to 75 families to Eretz Yisrael here to Karmiel. It brings Jews of all stripes together and has helped us to create a Makom of Torah, Tefilla, Ahavas Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael (And Chulent too!) As well our weekly Email goes out to over 2500 people weekly and spreads our message all over the globe to Jews from all denominations. It is the unifier of Klal Yisrael. SO please show your support. Make a Rabbi happy. Just click below and the dedication is yours.

Thanks so much and may you and your family be blessed with a Ksiva V'Chasima Tova

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MADE OUT TO

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Az men hot an ainikel, hot men tsvai kinder..".– When you have a grandchild, you have two children.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

43) The number of members of parliament in Israel is:

A) 18

B) 25

C) 120

D) Indeterminate

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

https://soundcloud.com/ephraim-schwartz/lulay-heamanti-kavey - OK YOU REALLY ARE NOT IN THE ELUL SPIRIT UNLESS YOU"VE listened to y MY beautiful hartzig compostion Lulay He'amanti that we recite each morning in this month sung and arranged by Dovid Lowy.

https://youtu.be/aw9IwRR1kKc  What a Medley! Yitzchak Meir and Friends do the whole High Holiday Medley incredible…

 https://youtu.be/Jt5B44YbZe0  – V'Kabtzeinu Miheira- beautiful Dudi Konpler new song composed by Reb Chaim Davis

 https://youtu.be/nxvd3B6zIsw   – The Latest Hillarious Bardak clip- my daughter actually got stuck in one of these hafganos last week.

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Visionary Land – Parshat Ki Tavo- This week's Parsha begins with the Mitzva of when we come to the land we are obligated to bring our first fruits to the Kohen and recite our gratitude to Hashem for giving us the Land. The recital that one makes to the Kohen upon bringing these fruits is perhaps the most elaborately described one in the entire Torah. I don't know of another ceremony that is so vividly described with such exacting text that numbers a full 8 long verses. It's a whole Megilla, a hagada shel Pesach. It recalls Egypt, it goes back to our Patriarchs. It has joy and recognizes the land as being one of Milk and Honey. Why is the Torah so explicit davka by this mitzva?

 The Mei Merom shares with us an incredible insight into the unique nature of Eretz Yisrael. He points out that there are many different mystical names of Hashem. Each one is a different level of His interaction and the way He is perceived in this world. So the Yud Hei and Vav Hei name is the name of mercy that his generally the way he is revealed in the present. Mercy is when we see a light in the dark. When Hashem took us out of Egypt though it was with the name Eh he yeh- which translates as I will Be. That is name of total revalation and clarity which we will only see in the future, that Hashem specifically used when we left Egypt.

 The land of Israel is a land where Hashem told Avraham all the way in the beginning that he should go "El Ha'aretz asher areh'ka- the Land where He will show Him. Eretz Yisrael is the land where we can see Hashem like He cannot be seen and revealed anywhere else. It is only here where we can first begin to understand and see all of history through its proper prism. Only here can we understand and feel that the land is literally dripping with Milk and honey. We understand what it truly means that the land is Hashem's and the tremendous gifts that He gives us. It's the place where we can really first really begin to see.

 That extraordinary vision and understanding our Parsha tells us begins when we come to the land and our first crops grow and we realize and recognize that it's all from Hashem. It's the land of our ancestors. It's why we were brought out of Egypt. It's the same thing we saw and understood then.  It all clicks and the narrative and declaration pours forth. We are home and we are in the land Hashem shows us.                                                                                                               

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Giveonite Revenge- 837 BC The following story is not a well-known one I would say by most, yet it's certainly one of the most incredible and awe inspiring of the stories of Dovid and the level of judgement that Hashem has. The story begins really back when we first came to the land and Yehoshua fought against 5 nations and King in the famous battle of Ayalon where the sun stayed in its place miraculously. That battle was fought to defend a non-Jewish Emorite nation known as the Giveonim that had tricked Yehoshua into making a peace treaty in which he promised to come to their defense if they were ever threatened. They had pretended to be a nation from far away, when in fact they were from smack in the middle of our heartland.

 Where is Givon? Actually it’s pretty easy to identify. Right next to Givat Ze’ev outside of Yerushalayim there’s a Palestinian village under Area B on the other side of separation fence. If you drive on 443 it’s not far from there. In the 1950’s there were wine vessels that actually dated back to the time of Yehoshua that said Givon on it. As well the arab name Al- Jib is reminiscent of the city name. It’s near the other cities mentioned near there as well. Kiryat Yearim and Yerushalayim. Right next to Al- jib in fact jewish yishuv called Givon Hachadasha.

But once they had the treaty it was too late to back out. And Yehoshua defended them and he allowed them to remain in the land making them watercarriers and wood choppers that would serve the Jewish people and the Kohanim.

 Part two of the story takes place when Dovid was hiding from Shaul in the city of Nov, Shaul accepted Doeg's false report that Nov had willingly given refuge and supported Dovid and Shaul wiped out the entire city in one of the most horrific massacres in Tanach. As well as killing the Kohanim it seems he killed the Giveonim that were there too. Although one midrash seems to suggest that they died because they were then unemployed as there were no Kohanim to serve.

The final part of the story happens at the end of Dovid's reign when a famine hit the land for three years. After checking the entire people for sin and not finding any- which in itself is pretty amazing- He asked the Urim VTumin which told him that it was a result of the sin of Shaul of killing the Givonim. Dovid then turns to the Giveonim and ask what he could do to pacify them, so that they may bless Israel and our sin will be atoned. The Givonim being a particularly cruel people demand that 7 of Shaul's descendants be handed over to them to be killed and hung up for 6 months. Dovid realizing that this decree was from Hashem- after passing them before the Ark in fact does so. The mother of two of them Ritzpa sat and mourned from the Pesach until Sukkos by her children's bodies preventing the birds from preying upon them. As I said this story is entirely incomprehensible.

 Our sages tell us that the nations of the world would see those bodies and after asking and finding out what they were there for stood back in awe. "If this is what the God of Israel does to the children of its kings in defence of the crooked foreigners that aren't even Jewish- how much more so would He demand justice if someone harmed any of the nation itself." This was considered a tremendous Kiddush Hashem. It is Elul now and we think about the justice and judgement that Hashem passes on us all. This story as shocking as it is one that could wake us all up as to how powerful it is.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE TWIN JOKES OF THE WEEK

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two

My friend once told me, "Your wife and daughter look like twins!" I replied, " Yeah well, they were separated at birth"

My father was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth. I have an uncle, once removed.

My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls. I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

What did the hispanic firefighter name his twins? Hose A and Hose B

What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met. I was beside myself.

Did you hear about the identical twin police officers? They were copies.

Molly became very sick when she was pregnant woman and she fell into a coma. After some months she wakes up in a hospital bed and as she gains consciousness she realizes that her pregnancy belly is gone. A doctor is standing next to her bed greeting her.

 "Hello, you have been in a coma for six months. But don't worry you are on good health and will be released soon!"
She anxiously asks him "Doctor what happened? What happened to my baby?"
"Don't worry about it! The birth went well and your babies are alive and healthy." The doctor replies.
"Babies? What do you mean babies?"
"Ma'am you had twins. A boy and a girl. Your brother Chatzkel has been taking care of them since their birth."
"Chatzkel? Oy Vay! He's an idiot! He's a greener from the "old country and barely speaks English. What type of old fashioned name did he give them
?" The woman exclaims.
"He named the girl 'Denise'" The doctor says.
"That's not so bad." The woman replies. "What did he name the boy?"
"Denephew!

. A fisherman’s wife gives birth to a healthy set of twins. After some time, they notice that one boy always faces toward the ocean and the other always faces away. Even if the parents were to turn them, they would always reposition themselves. So the name the boys “Toward” and “Away” respectively. On the twins’ tenth birthday, the fisherman takes them on a fishing trip. He tells his wife that they will be back in a week. A week passes. Then a month. Then two. Three months pass with no word, and the wife begins to lose hope. However, one day, she saw two figures approaching from the horizon, dragging the biggest fish she’d ever seen. She runs to her husband and child and says, “Wow! That fish is gigantic!”

The fisherman says, “Well, it’s actually a funny story. We spent a week at sea, with no luck. However, on the last day, this beast jumped up on the deck and ate Toward whole! For three months I fought the fish, until eventually I was able to defeat it and cut Toward free.”
That’s amazing!”, the wife says to her son, “but where’s your brother?”

The fisherman interrupts and says, “Well, if you think this guy is big, you should have seen the one that got Away!”

Maurice and Isaac found themselves sitting next to each other in a New York bar. After a while, Maurice looks at Isaac and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Israel." 
Isaac responds proudly, "I am!" 
Maurice says, "So am I! And where might you be from?" 
Isaac answers, "I'm from Jerusalem." 
Maurice responds, "So am I! And where did you live?" 
Isaac says, "A lovely little area two miles east of King David's Hotel. Not too far from the old city" 
Maurice says, "Unbelievable! What school did you attend?" 
Isaac answers, "Well, I attended Yeshiva University." Maurice gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" 
Isaac answers, "I graduated in 1984." 
Maurice exclaims, "Amazing! This is Bashert. Hashem wanted us to meet! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from Yeshiva University in 1984 also." 
About this time, Moishe enters the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over to him shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight, the Goldberg twins are drunk again."

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Answer is C- Come on everyone should get this one right…Do you really think 18 or 25 members of Knesset would be enough to represent the country of 7 million prime ministers and 14 million opinions and political positions. Do you think that anything in this country or anything Jewish is indeterminate? We have exact numbers and meaning for everything and of course there is a hidden one behind the 120 members of Knesset which is that it is the exact number of the Anshei Knesset HaGedola- the men of the great assembly in the second Temple period that the reborn "Knesset" wanted to at least politically fashion themselves after. As well they wanted to make the point that we've been here before and we have returned. So right answer is 120  So the score is 34 for Rabbi Schwartz and 9 for the Ministry of Tourism on this exam.

 

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