Karmiel

Karmiel
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Friday, March 17, 2023

Judicial Reform- Parshat Vaykhel Pikudey- Hachodesh 2023 5783

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 17th 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 22 24th of Adar 5783

 

Parshat Vayakhel- Pikudei- Ha’Chodesh

Judicial Reform

(Don’t miss our book offer and free sampler here Rabbi Schwartzes Pesach book Sampler! CLick! )

I haven’t yet weighed in yet, for you dear readers, on all of the action, protests and politics going on lately in Israel. I’ve never really been one that has been too interested in Israeli politics and since my surgery I really don’t weigh too much either- on anything. Frankly, I find the whole political thing here kind of silly. In my generally never humble opinion, politicians are really a waste of energy, breath and time. I don’t get why so many people are into it. Why they follow them. What possibly redeeming nature and enjoyment do they get out of promoting the agendas and personas of those that are clearly quite capable of promoting themselves. In the end none of them are really worth anything. They will all sell you out. They will all disappoint you. So why even go there?

Now, the truth is American politics isn’t really much different. But it’s much simpler. Two parties. Two candidates generally. It’s all about money in my pocket and who I think will give me more and that’s it. It’s got nothing to do with religion. It’s got nothing to do with shidduchim. It really has no spiritual ramifications. It’s all about dollars and cents. Which translates into voting for the Republican in the meaningless office of President who really doesn’t effect my bottom line but yet aligns with most of my political views, and then hypocritically yet pragmatically voting Democrat for the local candidate who will afford those Kollel Rabbis more social service programs. Unless of course, you’re from the rich chevra whose taxes might go up… then you shmear them both. And just make sure you pay them to stick in enough loopholes for your accountant to find for you. But who you vote for there really doesn’t make any moral statements about yourself. It’s just who you think will be better for the “Economy-Stupid” as one great candidate said when I was growing up.

In Israel though who you vote for is as religious as whether you eat g’brochtz on Pesach, what Nusach tefilla you daven, and whether you carry in the eiruv or not. It defines your religious orientation. They have made voting into the 614th mitzva in the Torah. Yes, it’s a biblical commandment not merely a rabbinical one. And going out and rounding up votes, hanging posters and signs and playing those silly jingles from your radio is fulfilling the mitzva la’mehadrin min ha’mehadrin. It’s the hechsher (preparation) for the mitzva, no less than baking your own matzos and building your own Sukka. Maybe even more so… And unlike the States where it is all about the money- here it is about the money too- but it’s framed that it’s about your God, your observance level and your inner moral spiritual compass. Your either with us or against us. There is no in-between.

Yet, in the end, what I don’t think they get is that all of these politicans will ultimately disappoint you. They’re all losers. They’re all self-aggrandizing narcissists that all claim to be saving the world. Yet in the end, it really becomes clear that it was always only about them. That’s the situation in all politics today and Israel and the Jewish people are at the top of that game.

I understand why this is. I also understand why this will never change in the near future until Mashiach gets here. See, in previous generations there was some modicum of patriotism that motivated individuals to run for public office. Sure, they were also out for the kavod… it’s only natural and only human. Yet, today the world has changed. Today if someone is running for public office, they really have to be seriously meshuga. You have to be so hungry for glory, for honor, for fame and fortune that you are ready to sacrifice everything and anything else to achieve that burning goal and desire.

Today we are living in a different world than 30-40 years ago. Today the media is out to get you. Out to shmutz you. There are no secrets anymore in today’s world. All the skeletons- and who doesn’t have skeletons-are out there to be blasted to the entire world. They will find someone, something, somewhere, anything shmutzy that they can pin on you since you were a young man in high school and put it on the front covers of their newspapers or the top page of their websites. You will be viral. Literally.

Who in their right mind would want to subject themselves or their family to that type of scrutiny? We all have things in our past and maybe even in our present that we don’t want to be front page news. That we’re not proud of. And even though we know that everyone else has that too, but there was once a thing as keeping one’s private business private. Not anymore. And as minor or as far distant in the past one has moved from that; it doesn’t make a difference. Today it is front page news. And it will remain there forever. And they will make it much worse than it really was. It’s scary. It’s enough to make any rational person, say fuggedaboutit. As a result, it only leaves in the candidate pool- the people that are such megalomaniacs that will be the ones that are running for public office. So why spend time and energy talking about meshuganes

Yet, perhaps now is the time to talk about this stuff. You can’t really avoid it. The country is on fire. The entire world seems to be obsessed with this whole judicial reform issue going on Israel. Every shnook has an opinion. Dershowitz, Biden, “Rabbis”- both male and family and confused genders have something to say. Left wingers are rioting like chareidim in Meah Shearim usually do when a soldier walks down the street. Decorated “Zionist” patriotic generals are telling people not to serve. And for what? Because they lost an election. Because the people decided that perhaps they should have a say in the laws that get passed in this country, rather than the elite self-appointed Supreme justices, who feel they know better than everyone else?! They scream Democratzia! But democracy is decided by the people at the voting booth, is it not? Having a court that appoints itself, decide what laws could and should be passed, what government committees elected by the people should be allowed to allocate, to strategize, who is and is not allowed to serve in a government despite the fact that the people elected and voted for them, is the opposite of democracy. It’s theocracy and the judges are the “Theos” in that crazy ‘cracy’.

So yes, I can’t avoid talking about it… I think Hashem wants us to talk about it. Because when the entire world is talking and focused on something it’s a sign from heaven that we need to take it apart and see it through Hashem’s eyes. What He wants from us. What our perspective should be. And what better place to start then this week’s Torah portion; the conclusion of the Book of Shemos and Parshat Ha’Chodesh that we read this week, the last of the four special parshiyos read before Pesach as we enter the month of Nissan; the month of our redemption.

The four-week cycle started with getting ready for Purim with the donation of Shekalim. Those shekels pre-empted Haman’s on Purim and prepared us for the ultimate goal of building a Home for Hashem and the sacrifices we bring there. Parshat Zachor was all about eradicating evil and wiping out Amalek. Hashem wants a clean house when He gets here and all the Amalekite-shmutz that challenges our faith has to be thrown out and erased. Parshat Parah,, read last week, adds a level of purity to our Home. We are cleansed. We are purified. The sins and Tumah of the past have been eradicated and we are holy. Which then brings us to Ha’Chodesh. It is the Torah reading of how we become partners with Hashem in this world. We establish the months. It is based on two witnesses coming to court. To a Jewish court. To a holy court. To the real Supreme Court. It is the final step in the geulah. Pesach the holiday of liberation can only happen when we understand how and what a Jewish court should look like.

Parshat Vayakhel and Pikudey which discuss the actual building and collection for the Mishkan, took place on Rosh Chodesh Nissan this week. Yeah, as I told you it’s a timely topic. As we know in the times of the Bait Ha’Mikdash the court was right there on the Temple Mount. Our sages tell us that this is so that they always remember that anyone who rules in the way of Hashem is His Partner in Creation. You’re the roommate of God, right there living in His house with Him. Separation of Church and State? Yeah… But Synagogue and State, Torah and the Jewish court system, it’s all one big Bais Ha’Mikdash and us, together with Hashem. His law and our law are the same. It is the worlds law. Because His presence will be revealed when that we shine that concept out to the entire world. We just need to give Him the court that He is looking for.

It is perhaps even most fascinating that the person in charge of the service in the Mishkan and the Bais HaMikdash, none other than the Kohen Gadol who is the only one who enters the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur, wears the most prominent of his garments- the breastplate front and center on his chest. The breastplate which contains the names of the tribes of Israel as well as the name of Hashem which would light up the stones of the breast-plate called the Urim V’Tumim; the lights and devotion or the sincerity. The center and the focus of the Kohen Gadol and those who would see him would be this Choshen Mishpat- which translates as the Choshen or breastplate of Judgement and its role and its name comes from the idea that it is there to atone for any travesty or distortion of judgement. That’s what is at the heart of it all. The connection between the two concepts couldn’t be any clearer.

But, they can be… See the word Choshen is not a common word. In fact, it’s not used for anything else besides this Choshen. Yet, The ARI’ZL tells us some interesting secrets about this word Choshen. He notes that it is fascinatingly the same letters as the word Nachash-snake. As in the original snake in the garden of Eden. Even more fascinating is that the gematria of the word Choshen is the same as… hold on to your hats… Mashiach! Judgement, Snake, Mashiach… What do these things have in common?

Do you know what the temptation of the snake was to man in garden of Eden. Vi’hiyisem kei’elokim- Eat from the tree and you will be like God to know Good and Evil. What does it mean to be like Hashem? To know good and evil.

Hashem knows what’s right and wrong for us and for the world. The temptation of the snake is to make us think that we are “gods” and do as well. There is only one time where the Torah uses the phrase of Elokim- god when it is talking about men. Do you know where that is? It’s by a court. We are told to bring the judgements to court el ha’elokim- to the judges. The role of the judge is bring the law of Hashem to this world. Not to be God but to bring the people to the law of Hashem. The temptation of the snake is to make him think that he is god. He knows what’s best. The atonement for that distortion of justice-of that nachash is the choshen- the breastplate.

The word nachash, interestingly and non-coincidentally as well is used as a verb in the Torah. L’nacheish- is someone who portends to know the future. It’s really the same concept and the same sin, in fact the English translation of l’nacheish to tell the future is to “divine”. It’s to think that you know what is going to happen. It’s why you think you’re so qualified, perhaps the only one qualified to cast judgement. Because if things don’t work out the way that you see good and evil then the world will fall apart. Sure, Hashem tells us in the Torah-what good and evil and right and wrong is, but the corrupt egotistic judge thinks he knows better. He ate the fruit. The punishment of the snake in the garden is perhaps the one that is most appropriate for that ego. Eat dirt, baby! Crawl on your belly, as low as you can go… humble pie. That’s the only cure for snake-judges that think they are gods.

This month, god willing, though we will see Mashiach. Mashiach is the final fixing of that sin of the nachash, for Mashiach will bring us all to Hashem and His Torah. He will anoint the Kohen Gadol and restore that light of the name of Hashem that is the Urim V’Tumim in the Choshen to shine out the sincerity of our beliefs and our devotion to Hashem. The world senses this is coming. It’s time. Everyone is talking about judicial reform in Eretz Yisrael. It is the last step before the geula. But the reform that we are looking and awaiting is not going to come from the Knesset. It won’t come from democracy. It won’t be a result of protests and counter protests and it won’t happen as long as the supreme court is not connected to the Bais Ha’mikdash. It needs to be Supreme with a capital “S”.

The only prayer in Shemona Esrei that tells us what Hashem loves is the one that discusses the return of the era of the judges of past. Melech Oheiv Tzedaka U’Mishpat- the King who loves tzedaka and justice. It is as well that the only prayer that tells us that without that we will have yagon v’anacha- despair and wailing. That’s what the protests are- lots of despair and lots of wailing.

Yet it’s not just us that are wailing. Hashem is protesting in heaven as well. But He is not protesting the sorry state of the justice system in Israel. He is protesting that we’re not davening hard enough for the real justice system. That perhaps the idea of a Divine Torah court is too frightening and too intimidating for us to wrap our brains around. That even we religious observant Jews would be more than happy with a court that just let our children not serve in the army, gave money to our yeshivas and Kollels and didn’t tax our disposable plates and sugar drinks. That is what Hashem is protesting in heaven. That we’re willing to settle for that… That we think that’s all we need. All we can get… All that should be… If that’s the case then in reality we’re really not that different then those other protestors in that way. We want it our way and not Hashem’s way or at least not entirely so. Ouch!

But the protests will end. Mashiach will come. Nissan is here. It’s parshat Ha’Chodesh. This is the week that we are born anew. Chadeish Yameinu K’Kedem- That Hashem returns us to that Gan Eden M’Kedem- that world where there is only one Judge, and His word is always True.

Have judiciously renewing Shabbos and a redemptive Chodesh Nissan Tov!

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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PESACH IS ALMOST HERE HAVE YOU GOTTEN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR THIS HOLIDAY YET???

(All proceeds go to supporting our local shul who”s campaign recently you may have not yet contributed to although you had meant to of course… 😊)

HERE”S A FREE SAMPLER LINK!!!

Rabbi Schwartzes Pesach book Sampler! CLick!

Can you believe that Pesach is right around the corner? The great holiday is coming around the bend and I’m sure you’ve started getting ready with your preparations. Making your plans, cleaning your house, buying your matzos, finishing up your Chametz and even beginning to think about all of the inspiration that you will tap into this great holiday and that you will share with your family.

Well, as usual when it comes to inspiration and insights, we want to be here to help you and therefore we’ve got the best gift you can buy yourself or whoever you wish to share this holiday with. None other than Rabbi Schwartz’s two great books aptly titled

"The Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About Pesach"

That totally sold out is in its second printing and the follow-up that original work

From the Back page blurb

Really?!! The most enjoyable book about Pesach?

What will I find here that I haven't heard before?

You'll have to read it to find out. One thing we can guarantee is that this book will certainly be one that you will be able to enjoy over and over again.

With his world-renowned wit and wisdom and his love for every Jew, Israel, and inspiration (and chulent), Rabbi Schwartz brings to life the timeless and yet original messages and ideas that the holiday of Pesach can and should mean to every Jew.

TABLE OF CONTENTS INCLUDE GREAT CHAPTERS ON

Shabbos Ha’Gadol, Exile, the Plagues, Pesach Seder and Redemption

And great articles enjoyably and mystically titled

Just one Shabbos,

Kid-ding Around

Ani V’Atah

The Worst Jew

Bedtime Stories

Of Mouth and Men

Plagued!

Animal House

Jewish Trip Planning,

The Holy Prophet

A Song for the Ages

Make Me Proud

And many many more…

AND THEN ROUND OUT YOUR COLLECTION WITH BOOK NUMBER TWO CREATIVELY TITLED…

The- 'Next'- Most Enjoyable Book You'll Ever Read About Pesach""

Your Most Enjoyable Pesach Book 2.0.

 

From the slave pits in Egypt to the jungles of Africa, the streets of Jerusalem to the locked-down houses in Karmiel, Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz with his enthusiasm, inspiration and laughter, guides you through the holiday of Pesach as you've never experienced it before.

Whether you've joined him on tours, read his Mishpacha magazine columns, been inspired by his teachings, or whether you just like his picture on the cover of this book, you are sure to be enlightened, inspired and entertained. This year God Willing will finally be the year of Redemption IYH and you want to make sure your ready for that special passion of Eretz Yisrael and appreciate Pesach in the most enjoyable way with Rabbi Schwartz

Great chapters include

Imaginary worlds

Scar-place

Jungle time

Coro-nachas

The first seder

Zaydie maysehs

Plague-demic

Hitting the jackpot

Galus america

The morning after

and much much more

It's the perfect Pesach Prep book, an amazing Seder accompaniment and the perfect way to enjoy your holiday as never before

From the back cover

Quotes- That Were Never Said

This is a really great book, I'm so glad that my son become a rabbi, tour guide, and author rather than a Doctor or a Lawyer ."-My Mother

Our father is a very wise man and we love listening quietly at the Shabbos table to his Torah E-mails -My children

"This is a really great book, I'm so glad that my son become a rabbi, tour guide, and author rather than a Doctor or a Lawyer ."-My Mother

 "This book has changed my life in so many ways; I attribute all my success in life to Rabbi Schwartz's insights and weekly Inspiration."-- Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz

 "I knew that when I threw him out of my Yeshiva it would inspire him to become the next leader of the Jewish people."- -Quite a few of my Rabbis and Principals

 This book contains no pictures of women and barely mentions any female names— besides the ones who make chulent- Most Jewish magazines

“I love being on a diet; it makes me feel so healthy."- The author

From the beginner to the greatest scholar, from the Kabbalist to the Chasid to the Yeshiva student, young and old, this book will definitely be the most enjoyable book you've ever read about Pesach.

STOP CLEANING FOR FIVE MINUTES AND CLICK ON THE LINK-YOU DESERVE THE BREAK-YOU KNOW THIS WILL MAKE YOUR PESACH EVEN MORE ENJOYABLE

This is almost as important as buying Matza!!

To order this book which is not available in stores this year, please respond to this E-Mail to Rabbi Schwartz

The book is a 65 NIS or $20 USD donation for one or both for 125 Shek or $36 to the Young Israel of Karmiel and Rabbi Schwartz'es weekly insights

 (plus shipping where necessary)

Please be in touch and be the first ones to get this for this year, before it hits stores next year...

TO RECEIVE THIS BOOK PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL TO

rabbischwartz@yahoo.com

with your mailing address

2) by Paypal at our blog http://holylandinsights.blogspot.co.il/

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

““Vos ken vern fun di shof az der volf iz der rikhter?.”- What will become of the sheep if the wolf is the judge?

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

15) During WWI, forces from Australia and New Zealand fought in Israel. The acronym of their names is:

 

Who got off his horse when he entered the Jaffa Gate?

A) General Gordon

B) Kaiser Wilhelm II

C) General Allenby

D) Kaiser Franz Joseph

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYzh71Lxhcw   –Beautiful Shabbos medley with Yossi Green Motti Vizel Benny Laufer and Malchus amazing choir

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltu-PioKm0    -Latest Rabbi Yoel Gold story Arab remembers Jewish story..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izR8_gr5_gI  – Reb Chaim Kanievsky amazing story with father of killed soldier

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AcwzFRXvEk   – Ari Goldwag and Avi Stewart beautiful rendition Count the Stars… a beautiful Abie Rottenberg rendition

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

Food Miracles- 690 BC- Having resurrected the dead with the son of the Shunamite woman, Elisha moves on to preform more miracles. Just as in the time of his Rebbi Eliyahu Ha’Navi, Elisha as well has a famine that takes over the land as a result of the Jews not following the mitzvos. It seems if Hashem wants to send us a message he hits us in our bellies.

 

The first miracle takes place in Gilgal, this is not far from where Elisha returned from Eliyahu Ha’Navi’s “departure from this world in his fiery chariot up to heaven and when he first became a prophet. On the way back we discussed a few weeks ago about his miracle of making the salty water sweet. This time around he ups the notch when he sees the hungry student prophets and he tells them to go out and find some food for a chulent stew, One of the students, who couldn’t of been the brightest one, found some gourds-which is never good to put in chulent and puts them in the pot. The problem was that they were poisonous and when the students started eating it they started getting sick. This is no problem for Elisha. He tells them to take some flour and chuck it in and sure enough miraculously it becomes delicious and edible. Chulent crisis averted.

 

Fantastically- my wife likes this vort-  the Abarbanel says that this miracle took place naturally to show and teach the people that sometimes natural remedies like flour can cure all better than the best medicines and vaccines. Hashem can bring salvation from anything, we don’t need science. It’s all here already in the simple things Hashem already put on the world. Yeah… you anti-vaxxers should see this Abarbanel.

 

The second miracle he preforms is not in making bad food good, but in multiplying food. A man comes from Baal Ha’Shalisha- a place it seems in the Shomron. There is an Arab village called Kfar Tluth- which in Aramaic the word that is three like shalisha, which is just near Karnei Shomron and South of Kalkilya. The Talmud tells us it is where the corps grow earliest. The man brings 20 loaves of barely for the prophets. The problem is that is not nearly enough for over 100 prophets. Once again Elisha says no problem put it before them and there will be leftovers even. And so it was.

 

An aside here about these miracles is that they are all amazing, but as well they are revealing about the fallacy of the unoriginal religion called Christianity which steals almost verbatim these miracles. In Kfar Kana Yoshka turns water into wine just as Elisha turned it into oil. Elisha takes a a little food and multiplies it and whadaya know the New Testament talks about Yoshka in Beit Tzaida- near the Madrassa hike doing the same. They steal the resurrection story as well… It’s all bubeh maysehs… As I said it’s a very uncreative religion that really took much of their stories from Tanach.

 

 During my tour guiding course whenever they would take us to these places and churches where these stories took place, inevitably my fun was finding where they stole it from. There is only one Hashem, one Torah and we are here in Eretz Yisrael to shine out the emes to the world. It’s about time we started showing these guys how fake their religion really is. They know it… They’re just waiting for us to be brave enough to tell them. And that’s after-all why we’re here.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE JUDGE JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

Judge: "Lady, you shoplifted a can of tomatoes, so I sentence you to four weeks in prison, one for each tomato."

Lady's husband: "Your honour, don't forget she also stole a can of peas."

 

At the height of the Israeli political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn't it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

The prosecutor again blared, “Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”

 

What does a judge have in his lemonade? Just ice

 

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar, your honour" she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He says he just can't communicate with me!!

 

The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years. Problem solved.

 

What did the judge say to the constipated lawyer? Motion denied…. OYYY

 

A California state trooper pulls over a car and walks over to the driver. “Today’s your lucky day.” he says. “We have a program to promote seatbelt use. I pulled you over because you were wearing your seatbelt. You will receive a reward of $5,000. So, what are you going to do with the money?

The man thinks for a moment and answers, “I think the first thing I will do is go out and get a drivers license.”

His wife in the front passenger seat screams out, “Oh for goodness sake, officer don’t listen to him, he always talks nonsense when he’s drunk.”

The commotion wakes up their friend in the back seat. He sees the officer and screams to the couple, “I told you we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.”

And then there is a banging from the trunk followed by a voice, “Ay amigos, did we cross the border yet?

"

Judge: I order you to pay $10,000 Mario: Why?

Judge: It’s a fine.

Mario: No itsa not.

 

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock.

 At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!"

The Judge asked the man to sit down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"?

"Guilty", said the man in the dock.

Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!! At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?"

He replied "He is my next door neighbor".

The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments". The man replied "NO, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn't have one"!!!

 

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher.The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."

He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."

 

LOVE THIS ONE!!

A man in rural Arkansas is brought before a judge for his preliminary hearing.

"What is the charge, counsel?" The judge asks.

"Bigotry, your honor," the prosecutor replies. "This man has three wives."

"You idiot," the judge says. "That ain't bigotry, it's trigonometry."

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The answer to this week”s question is C –ANZAC is the Australian New Zealand Corps. They’ve got a nice memorial for this army by Beer Sheva which joined with the British to throw the the Turks out of Israel in WWI. Allenby is the general who out of humility got off his horse unlike Kaiser Wilhelm when he came into Jerusalem. He didn’t want to come in as a conqueror rather as pilgrim returning to the Holy Land.  So got this one right again and now  the score is now 12.5 for Schwartz and 2.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far…

 

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