Karmiel

Karmiel
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Friday, March 31, 2023

Just Kid-ding- Parshat Tzav Shabbat Ha'Gadol 5783- 2023

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

March 31st 2023 -Volume 12 Issue 24 9th of Nissan 5783

 

Parshat Tzav- Ha’Gadol

Just Kid-ding

(Check out my latest Mishpacha column below! )

"Will you just grow up already!"

 

 "Why don't you act your age?"

"You want to be treated like an adult? Start acting like one!"

There are perhaps no words more annoying or frustrating for a kid to hear. I should know. I'm still hearing it... and it still hasn't worked. I don't understand. I see all these advertisements about recapturing your youth, all types of anti-aging pills so one can feel like a kid once again, and therapists preaching about finding your "inner child". It seems that I was ahead of the game. Why act like an adult when you’re a kid, only to become an adult looking for his lost childhood? This is a troubling question and you know what we do with troubling questions at this time of year? We save them for the Pesach Seder; the night of questions. And do you know what they answer us inevitably by the Pesach Seder? The reason is…so the children will ask…sigh…they cycle goes on.

Now the reason behind this custom is NOT because the Pesach sacrifice-a goat- is also referred to as a kid. Even though this might be confusing particularly since the last song at the Seder is about this one little kid/goat that a father bought for 2 zuzim. My kids always thought I was the father that sold them for 2 zuzim. I reassured them that I wouldn't sell them for anything less than 20 zuzim and maybe even a Dinar (or a good dinner). They seemed relieved…or maybe not. Thank God for their mother. Back to our E-Mail. Although those are not references to Seder night being "kids night". The rest of the Seder is pretty much all about the kids. In fact the Torah itself seems to revolve the commandments of this very special and important night all about children.

The code of Jewish law discusses the preparations for the Seder as revolving around utilizing all types of tricks to keep the kids up. Hand out nuts and sweets (translate pump them up on sugar and lay off the melatonin), wear a kittel- so children will ask, wash without blessing- so children will ask. The seder pretty much begins all types of strange activities that would usually get us kicked out of the dinner table, leaning while drinking wine over a white tablecloth (not for long), dipping vegetables in salt water and making all types of whiny faces, and stealing the Afikoman and running an hiding it. It continues with each kid getting up and asking their hopefully well-rehearsed four Ma Nishtana questions, which of course then leads into the description of the 4 sons and from there it's the ten plagues with all their appropriate accoutrements. Singing Dayeinu and hallel, dipping marror, fressing matzah while leaning on pillows and then all types of fun songs at the end, it is a night that kids dream of. It's all about them. So to pre-empt the Seder this year I dare to ask the question. Why?

Why is this night different? Shouldn't the most important night of the year be one where we as adults focus on the deep questions and miracles that took place? I understand that kids should know the traditions but why is it so important that it comes in the form of such strange child-like behavior so that they ask questions just to ask them? Why must we do all these strange things-almost behaving like children ourselves- to get them to ask them? Why are we going donw to their level shouldn't we bringing them up to ours.

The answer my friends, the Sefas Emes of Ger suggests, is that is precisely the point of Pesach; to see-rather- to experience the Exodus of Egypt on this night with the wonder, awe and amazement of the innocent eyes of children. Perhaps the most next most essential mitzvah of the night, after the telling/re-enacting of the story, is the eating of Matzah and the prohibition of chametz. The difference between Matzah and Chametz is essentially time; time to rise, time to get bloated, time to mature, time to achieve that perfect state of man-developed food chockfull of wholesome nutrients, preservatives and minerals and vitamins-like my cheerios box says. Matzah on the other hand is cut short in that process. It's stuck in that first state of development. Why is that the main staple? Because we are meant to get away for a few days from all our man-made world with all the answers and envelope ourselves in a world of Hashem. A world in which questions don't need answers, the wonder and amazement of those miracles and that redemption are awesome enough. We ask out of awe. We ask because we just want to be heard and we know that our Father is listening to our voice and basking in our awe. We are all His children and the Seder night is the night that we get back to that moment…through the eyes and questions of our children.

The Sefas Emes suggests that it is for this reason that this Shabbos before Pessach is referred to as Shabbas Ha'Gadol the great or big Shabbos. He suggests that until this Shabbos when we were in Egypt we observed Shabbos in some way but it was entrenched in slavery. It was a day-off from hard work. It was in an un-commanded state like the observances of a minor. This Shabbos when Hashem commanded us in Egypt to prepare for our Exodus and prepare our Pesach offering was the first time we observed Shabbos as a "Gadol" an adult. Our Bar Mitzvah Shabbos so to say. 

What changed on this Shabbos? We were still in Egypt. The redemption had not yet come? But we were able to see it. For the first time we moved beyond the 210 year realities of our day-to day life of slaves and experienced the Exodus and Shabbos before it had even arrived as a Bar Mitzvah boy on his first Shabbos. We became that youthful, starry eyed young man and we jumped into the commandment to forget about time and place and move above it with the faith and dedication to Hashem and our new exciting reality. It is no coincidence that our first mitzvah Ha'Chodesh Ha'Zeh Lachem- to count the Jewish months is the introduction to all of the mitzvahs of Pesach. Like a child we don't have to think or worry about time. Time revolves around us. Not us around it.

I think about the life through the eyes of a child. The incredible places their tour guide father takes them. There is nothing more precious than the wonder in their eyes as they look out at the world. Sure they ask questions, how did this form this way? Why is it that shaped like that? What type of tree, rock, castle is that?  What's the name of that mountain, that lake, that star? They really don't care about the answer. They just want me to know that they're here with me. That I'm sharing the experience with them.

All the other nights of the year we are perhaps slaves to time. Slaves to our responsibilities, slaves to our questions. But on this night of Pesach we are free to return to ourselves and to that wonder. It's a hard thing to do in one night. But that's what kids are for. To help us and guide us into that world of what we once were. Into that beloved child we are to Hashem. It's not about the kids tonight. It's about us. The kids in us. The kids we may have forgotten about. As we say in the Haggada even if we are all wise, knowledgeable like the greatest sages that were sitting in Bnai Brak. Tonight we go back to that simple childlike wonder and simply re-live and tell that story again like the first time. If we could do that seder right and we make it until the end. Who knows maybe Eliyahu might be at the door to sing L'shana Ha'Baah Bi'Yerushalayim with us. Sounds crazy? Sounds like a child –like fantasy that he might be there? Then stop growing up. Don't act your age for a night and you might be surprised. Greater miracles have happened…and will once again..  

Have a massively big and great Shabbos,

 

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

 

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GUESS WHO’S BACK IN MISHPACHA MAGAZINE JUST IN TIME FOR CHANUKA!

It’s your favorite Rabbi Tour Guide!!

Check out my latest article on the

HILLS OF EPHRAIM

SHILO!!

https://mishpacha.com/dance-of-unity/

 

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YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

 

““Kleyn Shlufn Lozn Nit Shlofn, Groyse Kinder Lozn Nit Ru’in.” - Small children don’t let you sleep, Big children don’t let you relax.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

17) A type of Roman amusement facility discovered in Beit Guvrin;

Where can you find a columbarium?

A) Masada

B) the Keshet cave

C) Sepphoris (Zippori)

D) the Leopard Temple

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO OF THE WEEK

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2gzOvWrS28  - It’s Pesach acapella season… Six13 Prince of Egypt 25th anniversary

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfaIDcNiq0I  -Mordechai Shapiro’s latest Ani Yehudi a song to sing when you’re a proud Jew!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9JLJ16tXTE    – Hillarious latest Bardak- An impossible

feast!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dnZbHWIFTg     – Micha Gammerman latest our strength is from Hashem “Rakata”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sExHAL_XQjw – Abie Rottenbergs Baruch Hashem it’s Shabbos with Shloimy Gertner awesome!

 

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

 

The Yarden Purification- 680 BC- So Naaman upon the advice of the King of Aram- modern day Damascus, Syria comes down to Elisha in the Shomron. He wants to impress Elisha so he brings with him his horses and chariots and all entourage. Yet, Elisha knows that the only cure for leprosy is humility. So he puts Naaman in his place. He doesn’t even come to the doorway himself. He sends his servant and gives him a message that he should go down to the Yarden river and dip himself 7 times. If he does that he will be purified.

 

The place in the Yarden this takes place today is of course the same place where we entered into the land of Israel and where the water split. As well it is where Eliyahu went up to Shamayim from. It is no wonder that the Christians seeking a holy place to make up their baloney stories about their false Messianic founder Yoshka was baptized there as well. Today one can got to Kasr-El Yahud and visit the site. It’s a cool place to see and make the blessings about where Hashem preformed miracles for our forefathers here.

 

Naaman, though is not too impressed. He’s in fact furious. He thought Elisha would daven for him. He would go to the Bais Hamikdash and perhaps bring sacrifices on his behalf. Just a dip in the Yarden? That’s all. He feels he could’ve done the same thing in Aram. Yet, he doesn’t realize that the real essence of the Yarden is that it is Yoreid. Get off your high horse. Humble yourself. Do teshuva and Hashem will purify you.

 

His servants in fact convince him to give it a shot and lo and behold 7 dips later and he is healed. He’s all better. He comes out and does teshuva and swears he will never worship idols again. He becomes a Baal Teshuva. He remains a righteous gentile. Yet, the story is not over yet, because as we will see, as opposed to this moment being the turning point for Naaman, Elisha’s servant Geichazi goes down the tubes here.  

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ TERRIBLE "SEDER IN A BAR" JOKES OF THE WEEK

 

 A Seder plate walks into a bar

Bartender says: What can I get you?

Sederplate says: Nothing right now, I got a lot on my plate

 

A matzah ball walks into a bar

Bartender says: Is this Round on you?

 

Matzah walks into a bar

Bartender says: Looks like you had a Crumby day?

 

 Moses walks into a bar

Bartender says: Drinks for just you or your staff?

 

 The Jewish Nation walks into a bar.

Bartender says: You thought splitting the sea was hard, try splitting this check

 

 Chad Gad Ya walks into a bar

Bartender says: After that last bar fight with the dog and cat and fire, it's gonna cost alot more than 2 zuzim to get a drink here

 

 Elijah walks into a bar

Bartender says: What can I get for you Elijah?

Elijah says: Wait, you can see me??

 

 

A Kiddush Cup walks into a bar

Bartender says: We don't serve whiners here

 

Matzah walks into a bar

Bartender says: Havent seen you in a while, where you been?

Matzah says: I've had some bad breaks

 

Charoses and Marror walk into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here..”

 

Kiddush Cup walks into  Bartender says: Sorry, we don’t serve whiners here

 

 Wise son and wicked son walk into a bar

Bartender says: What can I get you boys?

Wise son asks for all the details of how the drinks are made

Wicked son laughs: It's on his tab, not mine. Had we been in Egypt I wouldnt have paid either.

 

Pharoah walks into a bar

Bartender says: So it's a Bloody Mary or well, a Bloody Mary right?

 

 Pharoah walks into a bar, doesnt speak

Bartender: Speak up? What do you have a frog in your throat?

Pharoah: frogs here, frogs there

 

The Son 'who doesnt know how to ask' walks into a bar

Bartender: Arent you going to order? Helllo?

 

A Seder walks into a bar

Bartender: Let me guess this is going to be different than all other nights?

 

Afikoment walks into a bar

Bartender: I'll get you a drink, but dont you get lost because I will find you.

 

 A seder kittel walks into a bar

Bartender says: What did someone die?

 

A haggadah walks into a bar

Bartender says: The way this guy rambles on, I'm gonna need my own 4 cups

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The answer to this week”s question is A –Another pretty easy and basic question. Beit Guvrin in the Shefela was a major Roman City and like many of them they had the basic form of entertainment which was gladiator fights and blood sport. It’s a good thing to keep your psychopathic populace engaged and too distracted to rebel against you. In Israel there are three places where we have the remains of those stadiums or Ampitheaters (which is not to be confused with a half ampi which is called a theater and was only for plays and shows). Beit Guvrin, Beit Shean and Caesarea. As far as the Columbarium or the structure where they would keep pigeons and birds in that would be there cell-phone towers as the birds were messenger ones, besides being a good nosh and their poop serving as good fuel for fire and stoves, we have them in many places in Israel. Yet of the list above Masada is the only one where we have quite a few of them in fact. So of course I got it right as they knocked it into our heads. So that makes the score as of now  14.5 for Schwartz and 2.5 for Ministry of tourism on this exam so far…

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