I'm not a Hamburger- Parshat Noach 5781/ 2020

 

Insights and Inspiration

from the

Holy Land

from

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

"Your friend in Karmiel"

October 23^rd 2020 -Volume 11 Issue 2 5^th Cheshvan 5781

 

Parshat Noach

I'm Not a Hamburger

Ne' ila was over. The service we were attending that year (about 15 years ago) in Atlanta Georgia where we were going to be staying for Sukkos, was inspiring. Rabbi Feldman gave inspiring sermons. The chazzan davened beautifully. But now it was over. The shofar blasted. We were forgiven. Let's daven Mariv and eat. As the chazzan got up to start the evening prayer, Rabbi Feldman approached the pulpit and announced that nobody was to leave the shul after Mariv until he did. The chazzan then began barchu es hashem ha'mevorach and maariv began.

 

Now usually Mariv after 25 hours of fasting with the smell of the fresh bagels, coffee- did I need a coffee-and fresh cakes, is hard to concentrate for. But now with the Rabbi's mysterious announcement fuggedaboutit. The final kaddish was over. We said amen and silence reigned. All eyes were on the Rabbi and he very very slowly walked up to the pulpit and once again merely said "No one should leave the shul, until I leave". Our stomachs were rumbling, the tension and hunger were overwhelming. The Rabbi then walked down the steps from the podium and made his way step-pause-step-pause, you know like how they teach you to walk down by your graduation, or chuppa, and stopped by every pew and said one sentence.

 

"I am not an animal- I am a human being".

 

 He repeated it pew by pew as everyone got in line behind him calmly exiting the shul slowly and patiently repeating after the Rabbi.

 

"I am not an animal- I am a human being".

 

There was none of the traditional pushing and shoving by the break-fast. We all got our bagels, our orange juice, our cake and even our coffee, graciously allowing other people to pass us in line. It was very goyish…J. But it was one of the greatest exercises I have ever experienced. Animals push and shove. Animals are dominated by their urges. We humans with the spirit of Hashem are not like them.

 

 I don't know if that lesson would've taken hold any other time of the year. Food-particularly free food, Kiddush, Bris-es, and wedding smorgasbord bring out the animal in us. We are trained from a young age when they throw pekelach at the chasan in shul by an aufruf that we need to do whatever it takes to get the most candy. The polite, shy kid will only get wrappers. The last one in the yeshiva dining room will only get the end pieces of the kokosh cake and the bottom of the chulent pot. We'll miss the clearance sales items in the supermarket and we'll lose the parking space. It's a dog eat dog world out there we're told and the assumption is only the pit-bulls will survive.

 

Now we out-of towners always knew that about New Yahkers, and we Americans always knew that about Israelis. We understood that they were living in pressure cookers and are in survival mode all the time. But we were different. It doesn't seem that way so much anymore. Everyone seems to be losing their patience more often. People are saying things and talking in ways that have never been acceptable. I hear lots of animals barking, screeching, pushing, bullying, silencing. It feels like the world is becoming more and more like a zoo. Everybody wants whatever they want, no one can tell me no. We have rights, and don't try to take away my dog-food. I'm not sure Rabbi Feldman's sentence long lecture would've worked today. But right after Yom Kippur when we really truly understood and appreciated how holy we all are, when we all felt that divine spark shining brightly within us, at that moment we all knew we were not animals. We were humans created in the image of Hashem. And we knew it as did Noach right after the flood.

 

Welcome to Parshas Noach, every animal lovers favorite parsha. Not only those of you that have pets or want one, or those of you that like going to the zoo or feed cats or pigeons in the park- can you stop feeding the ones on my block.  But even those good carnivores like myself that like their animals between two pieces of rye with pickles, onions, guldens mustard, preferably corned or smoked. See one of the main problems of the original world Hashem put into motion is that until after the flood nobody ever had a real flayshig chulent. Mankind was vegetarian. In fact, strangely enough, it was the first thing Hashem said to Adam and Chava after he blessed them that they should be fruitful and multiply. Take a look.

 

Bereishis (1:28-29) Hashem said, “See, I give you every seed-bearing plant that is upon all the earth, and every tree that has seed-bearing fruit; they shall be yours for food. And to all the animals on land, to all the birds of the sky, and to everything that creeps on earth, in which there is the breath of life, [I give] all the green plants for food.” And it was so.

 

Rashi notes that this is a commandment-one that even precedes not eating from the Tree of knowledge!- that equates man and animal.

 

And to every beast of the earth — The Torah places cattle and beasts on an equal level with them with regard to food, and did not permit Adam to kill any creature and eat its flesh, but all alike were to eat herbs. But when the era of the “Sons of Noach” began He permitted them to eat meat…

 

There is something troubling and jarring about these verses once you come to think about it. Here we have Adam and Chava who are the pinnacle of creation and who Hashem has just told should be fruitful and multiply and rule over all of the animals of the earth and conquer it, and the next statement is and here's what's for dinner. Oh and by the way you're sitting on the same table as the goats, pigs, cows and hyena. Are we humans or are we animals? Why are they sitting on my table? This is obviously very very important, as this is literally the first thing Hashem tells us. We need to know this. What does this mean and why did it change?

 

In case you think that the what's-on-the-menu-for-mankind thing is just a hungry Rabbi's musings reading and projecting into the text his rumbling stomach, we find the same exact conversation with Noach right after he comes out of the Ark and brings his sacrifices. Hashem blesses Noach that he should be fruitful and multiply and rule over the animal kingdom, as he did to Adam.He then continues right after and tells him the new improved flayshig menu he will be permitted to have.

 

Bereishis (9:1-3) Hashem blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them, “Be fertile and increase, and fill the earth. The fear and the dread of you shall be upon all the beasts of the earth and upon all the birds of the sky—everything with which the earth is astir—and upon all the fish of the sea; they are given into your hand. Every creature that lives shall be yours to eat; as with the green grasses, I give you all these.

 

Don’t get me wrong here, I'm a big fan of food and of knowing what's on the menu, but yet it seems that this has supreme significance to Hashem, for once again what we will be eating precedes even the commandment to not murder, and the command to be have children and populate the world which comes after this. {It's only the blessing to be fruitful that precedes this, while the command is three verses after the above pesukim.} Why is what we eat and who we eat it with so essential that is told to us right at the get-go of our coming into the world?

 

The answer, suggests the Lubavitcher Rebbi in a fascinating sicha, is to teach us precisely the lesson of Rabbi Feldman, for it is the essence of what we are and the purpose of our creation. Hashem created us on the same day as he created the animals and like them we were formed from earth. We are connected to the earth at our core and it is on this earth that we are meant to fulfill our role, just as they are. They are fruitful and multiply as do we. They eat from the foliage of creation and elevate it in doing so just like we do. Yet we are given a holy soul, a neshoma, that spark of godliness that is the free will that is the image of Hashem that they don't have. That free will gives us the ability to rule over them and elevate the animals of creation as well. We direct creation as does Hashem. Yet, that power and that unique elevated soul comes with the danger of us forgetting that we are not the ones that run or create the world. We are creations. We are not Gods. It is for this reason that right at the start Hashem defines us as such. We are created with a spiritual role and holy mission to direct and reveal godliness in all of the world. But we sit at the same table as the animal kingdom because we are created just like them. We are human beings with souls, but yet we sit and eat with the animals to remind us that we are not God.

 

As I said in my parsha youtube video last week (my newest feature-see below how to signup) that was the same function of the tree of knowledge. According to the midrash it was a tree like any other tree. It was merely symbolic. The plan was that there would be one tree that Man would not eat from merely to remind him that he wasn't the baalabus- Master of this world. That we answer to a Higher power that created us. The snake, of course lied and made it out to be something special. But it was in fact just a regular fruit tree. Something to remind us that just as the animal kingdom was created by Hashem and follows his will, we by using our free choice could overcome our earthy animal-keit and uplift the world, and never fool ourselves into thinking that we are in charge.

 

After the failure of that world of Adam, with the deterioration of mankind to the degree that it even spread to the animal kingdom, the world and plan expired. Hashem pulled the plug and let out all the water. The bath was empty and it was time to start again. In this world though the danger that our spiritual nature and of the soul we possess fooling us into thinking we were gods was not as dangerous as us believing that we were merely evolved gorillas. The world knew there was a Higher power that just destroyed it all. We knew we were playing in Someone else's sandbox. So maybe we were just mere animals? Maybe we just need to follow our instincts. Maybe we are "creatures of habit". Maybe we don't have a soul. No free-will. No purpose. Thus in this new world Hashem changes the rules. We no longer sit with animals at the table. They are food. We are human beings. We are not hamburgers.

 

Why are we not hamburgers? Because we have a holy soul. Because Hashem created us with a spiritual mission. Because there is so much we have to do in this world, with this world; there is so much we have to reveal. We were imprinted with that holy image of Hashem. The steak and chicken cutlet never were. In fact the animal kingdom is looking to us to elevate them when we make a bracha on them, when we eat them at our Shabbos table. When we put them in our chulent.

 

This past year has been one long lesson that we are not in control of the world. If a little micro particle can cripple all of  our most "advanced" civilization for close to a year now, than we really aren't that advanced and we are clearly not gods. So for many this feeling brings out the animal. We are seeing that more and more as society deteriorates before our face. It's happening in the world, but it should never happen to us. We eat chulent every Shabbos; Flayshig chulent-(an oxymoron). We eat it to remind us of Rabbi Feldman's message, the Rebbis' teaching, Noach's Adam's and Hashem's. We are human beings we are not animals. So stop pushing so much to get another piece of kugel.

 

Have an awesome Shabbos,

Rabbi Ephraim Schwartz

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RABBI SCHWARTZ’S FAVORITE YIDDISH PROVERB OF THE WEEK

" Ven di licht iz krum, iz der shoten krum." When the light is crooked, the shadow is crooked."

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S TOUR GUIDE EXAM QUESTION OF THE WEEK

answer below at end of Email

50) The train station in Jerusalem is named after:

A.  Haim Weizman

B.  Yitzhak Ben-Zvi

C.  Zalman Shazar

D.  Yitzhak Navon

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ’S COOL VIDEO  OF THE WEEK

 

https://youtu.be/hjIIMZJDVYE  - Ashkenazim eating Sefardic Food

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh1BChVM9D4  – I love this Rabbi K new song, just so amazing to see him singing with his son… beautiful song!

 

https://youtu.be/bputeFGXEjA  – Can't Go through Parshas Noach without the (not so great) Bill Cosby's funniest skit! From the good old days

 

https://youtu.be/GYlAjw8sR8o – Ben Shapiro interviews my Buddy Nissim Black!

 

https://youtu.be/uk5AzrN3Uz8  – The Razel Brothers Hoshana Rabba Achas Shoalti by the Kotel

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u2Fia0-oMc – I confess I never was that into Joey Newcomb- besides the thank you Hashem thing was getting on my nerves already. But Sruli B has officially gotten me into him. I love his new album and then got his first one and I'm really liking this song… Go Joey! Sruli you sold me.

 

RABBI SCHWARTZ'S PARSHA/ ERETZ YISRAEL CONNECTION OF THE WEEK

Noach– The end of this week's parsha introduces us to Avram (he's still didn't get his extra letter in his name yet-side story- when I made Aliya the guy that gave me my Israeli citizenship papers asked me how I spelled my last name- I told him it was shin vav vav (like a w) alef reish tzadik. He told me that there's no reason for an alef in my last name and took it out. So unlike Avraham that got an extra letter when he came here I lost one…). The Mishna in Avot tells us there were 10 generations from Noach until Avraham and they all angered Hashem and then Avraham came and received reward for all of them. The question obviously asked by many of the commentaries that if all of the generations were bad what reward did they deserve that Avraham getting and why would he get it?

 I saw an incredible idea from Rav Nebenzahl that sheds an incredible insight into some verses about this generation answers this question and of course gives us an appreciation of Eretz Yisrael.

Let's start first with the story of the "Tower of Bavel" the Torah introduces the story with an interesting description

Bereishis (11:2) And as they migrated from the east, they came upon a valley in the land of Shinar and settled there.

 The Rav asks a simple question, where were they going? East of what? As well it seems that they didn't reach their destination, as it says "they came upon a valley". Mashma- as we say in yeshiva, that the valley wasn't part of the original itinerary. It wasn't the destination. Finally he notes that it says they built a city and tower to reach heavens and Hashem came down to see that city and the tower that was meant to 'fight against god". I can understand why Hashem would want to see and got upset about the tower, but what was wrong with the city?

 To answer all of these questions he makes a simple suggestion. He notes that after Noach landed on Mt Ararat (in Turkey) and it was time to rebuild a new world and as his descendants were multiplying and needed a place to set up shop. He decided that the place to do that from was obviously going to be Eretz Yisrael. It is there from where Hashem created the world. It is where holiness descends. The land is holy and that is where mankind should build from. So they traveled m'kedem- from the East of Israel westward to the Holy Land. The first Zionists were born.

 Yet their mission stalled. They found a valley somewhere near Iran called Shinar, and Nimrod the evil mighty warrior convinced them to settle there. You can imagine the argument. Why shlep to the barren wasteland. Here we can make a good living. We can be frutiful. Who knows what those Israelis are like. Bavel is great. And thus they built their city. The first city of people that failed in their mission to come to Eretz Yisrael. And thus Hashem came down to see where they were. Why weren't his children coming home? How did Bavel become the new Jerusalem?

 Not longer after that our parsha tells us that 9 generations later there was a man named Terach who had a little idol shop called Idols 'R' Us.  His son Avrameleh was thrown into a fiery furnace by Nimrod for busting all of those idols and he was miraculously saved. Terach then had the epiphany of his lifetime. He realized that it wasn't possible to raise good frum children outside of the Eretz Yisrael. Certainly not in a world that seems to have gone mad. So he picks up the Mishpacha and continues that journey to the land of Canaan. The 2^nd Aliya if you will, but that also stalled. Will anyone ever make it to Eretz Yisrael. Will the holy land ever see it's children. Will the house Hashem is waiting for to be built on this earth happen? Introducing Avraham. He comes and as we will see in the next parsha will get the reward for all those that didn't make it there. He finishes the job and mankind can now start to build towards its purpose.

 Our sages tell us in the tractate Sota (13:) Rabbi Chama Bar Chanina says that someone that begins a good deed but doesn't complete it and someone comes and finishes the job, the Torah tells us that the one who finishes it is like he did the entire act. There have been generations before us that have dreamed, that have tried, that even began the journey to Eretz Yisrael throughout all our history. But they weren't successful. They didn't have the opportunity we have day. They didn't finish the job. The Mishna in Avot teaches us that just like Avraham we can get the reward for all of their holy efforts and desires. How awesome is that?

 RABBI SCHWARTZ'S ERA’S AND THEIR PLACES AND PEOPLE IN ISRAEL OF THE WEEK

Dovid, Naval and Avigayil- 877 BC-  After the death of Shmuel, Dovid still does not take over the Kingship. Although he had been anointed by Shmuel to be the king he understood that his kingship will not begin until Shaul's ends. So Dovid heads back down to the wilderness of Paran to the southern Chevron hills and him and his group of jolly men offer protection for the local shepherds from Carmel . The sheep they were protecting belonged to a non-gentleman named Naval. A name that translates as disgusting or obnoxious, which is kind of who he was.

 Naval lived in a city called Ma'on. Today both of these settlement are once again in the same area. Carmel, a settlement of about 500 people is a few kilometers from Al Karmel the arab village where ancient khirbat karmel is located. I've actually been to Carmel a few times to visit the Isvei Kedem factory that is based there with natural spices and teas. Ma'on is about 5 minutes up the road also has about 600 settlers living there it is right up next to the ancient Tel Ma'on. I've visited there as well as they have a cool farm there for my tourists that like to see what the hilltop youth look like and feel that experience, it's a great site. They have a lot of problems from our Palestinian cousins who are also doing the land-grab thing in that area, but more often their trouble comes from sadly hostile Israeli governments that have a problem with us settling the same lands that our forefathers and King David roamed in.

 But back to our story. So once Naval's shepherds returned to him with their sheep it was the shearing season, according to Chaza"l it was Rosh Hashana time. Dovid, it seems was pretty hard up. They were out of food and Dovid figured that after all of the service he provided without renumeration payday had finally come. Besides it was generally assumed that the shearing ceremony where the first of the shearings would go to the Kohen that there would be a public Kiddush and charity given. So Dovid sent his men respectfully to Naval to ask for his help. Naval however was a miserly person and he lost it. He started questioning Dovid's lineage, challenging him and chased his men away. This was a bad move.

 Now the one right thing that Naval did in his life. He married right. His wife Avigayil turns out was a brilliant prophetess. She was told what had happened and she knew that Dovid was not going to take this sitting down. So she went out put together a goody basket for Dovid and his men. 200 loaves of bread, two flasks of wine, 5 roasted lambs, grain, rasins, cakes a real party. Meanwhile Dovid rounded up his men to wipe out Naval and his men. Avigayil came to greet him and it was love at first site. It seems that their souls new they were meant to be together.

 So Avigayil talked down Dovid. She admitted that Naval was aptly named as he was truly an obnoxious person. So what does he expect. She reminded Dovid how he spared Shaul and other enemies that attacked him relying on Hashem to take care of the problem. She inspired Dovid and at the same time she assured him that Hashem would punish her husband and then she would be free to marry him. If however Dovid acted now then their future marriage would always be suspect. Dovid was appeased, he praised her and thanked her and promised that he would always take care and be there for her.

 The following day when Naval heard what happened he had a heart attack. He couldn't take how much Avigayil gave Dovid and that Dovid had gotten the better of him. 10 days later on Yom Kippur he died. Not long after Dovid took Avigayil as his wife. We'll learn more about her role is his life as well as the other wives of Dovid. But I can say certainly one of my favorite moments in my tour guiding course was sitting on the hill of Carmel and looking out towards Ma'on and listening to this story from our guide where one could picture in their mind Avigayil and her maidservants coming down the hill to Dovid and his men. It doesn't get more awesome.

 RABBI SCHWARTZ’S TERRIBLE VEGETARIAN JOKES  OF THE WEEK

 I went to a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter asked, "How was your meal, sir?" "It was very nice. My compliments to the gardener."

 What do you call a fascist vegan? A: Lactose intolerant.

 What is the Native American word for vegetarian? A: "Poor hunter!"

 What do vegetarians say when they get a flat tire? Should've bought asparagus.

How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow? A: One if nobody's looking

 What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian cousin? BrocoLee

 What did one vegetarian say to the other vegetarian? A: We have to stop meating like this

.Why did the tofu cross the road? A: To prove he wasn't chicken.

 Vegan Mom: Honey, Animals are living breathing things and we can't eat them! Son: If animals aren't supposed to be eaten, then why are they made out of meat?

 Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters. Ten long miserable years

 Doctor to vegetarian : Where do u feel the pain ? Vegetarian : from my head tomato…OYYY

 This girl from my school said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore

A vegetarian has a carrot sticking out of one ear, celery out of the other, and a mushroom up his nose. He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong. The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."

 Dear Vegetarians if you're trying to save the animals why are you eating their food?

 I don’t understand why people don’t seem to get along with vegetarians. I have never had a beef with one.

I like making jokes about vegetarians...but never about tofu, that's just tasteless.

One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. One was a vegetarian and constantly berated the other for eating meat! After stopping for a hot dog, the vegetarian erupted "Why do you eat meat?, Do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what you eat!"

 The carnivore replied "I am what I eat, an uncontrollable vicious animal (beating his chest)"

 As they stepped off the curb a speeding car came around the corner and ran the vegetarian over. The carnivore called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured vegetarian was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carnivore, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life."… As I said terrible jokes…

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Answer is D –  Last question for this exam. It's an easy one. Everyone who's lives in Yerushalayim knows the name of the station is named after Yitzchak Navon. The question is do they know who Navon was? OK so I'll tell you. He was the 5^th president of Israel, the first to be born in Israel and Yerushalayim and the first sefardic one. He died in 2015 when the train project was being worked upon and thus got the name.  

So I got the last question correct and the final tally for this Summer of 2019 is Schwartz 37 correct and 13 wrong giving me a passing score of 74%.  However since I have to only answer 45 out of the 50 question, I can take off five that I got wrong (for arguments sake let's assume that I would'vve skipped the 5 questions I had no clue about) and thus it would have 37 right and 8 wrong giving me a score of 82%. Now this is only the first part of the exam that in fact only counts for 30 points of the total exam. Which would give me 24 points on the Part A of the exam. The part of the exam which writing a 2 day itinerary for a group selected, part B, and then choosing one place from the itinerary you have written and writing a full page describing it is worth 70 points. So technically if I got that part correct entirely I would've gotten a 94% final grade.

 On this exam the 3 groups one could choose from to write a 2 day itinerary for were

 A) Israeli hikers that want a half day in Jerusalem and another day somewhere else exploring the Byzantine period in Israel.

 B) American tourists 20-40 that want to explore Israel desert Judean or Negev or both for 2 days

 C) European tourists that want to explore areas coastal plains from Rosh Hanikra to Ashkelon that include sites of all three major religions.

 On my exam 8 years ago I actually did a similar Judean desert one. It's the easiest. I could do it in my sleep.

 So that's the exam for Summer 2019. All you really need is a passing grade and I certainly got that. Next week we start the Winter 2019 exam. What grade do you think I'll get on this one?